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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 25, 1895)
to D f 1 'B," . h fr k -.,. u THE RUSSIAN KNOUT. BARBAROUS INFLICTIONS THE WORST TORTURES. OF Id Inhuman Vie on Victim Only I.atelr Abolished In the Cr.ar'a Do main Cruel Instrument Olnoleto rolltlc of Enlightened Iluulo. XPANDING civili zation sheds very slowly Us forms of legnl cruelty. Eng land, less than a century ngo, used to hung men for trifling crimes against the sacred rights of property. Russia only just lately has nbollshod the use of the knout, though the father of the present Czar favored the removal of this blood-stain from Russian rule. Alexander II. Invited all the governors of provinces and penal settlements to report -upon their experience with the knout. Without exception they had favored its abolition. In many places It was revealed that tho local police resorted to It on the slightest provoca tion; that they spared neither ago nor ecx; that delicato women and tender children were frequently maimed fpr life by its use. Nor was this all. Sta tistics were submitted which showed that within tho past ten years 3,000 per sons, convicted of petty offenses, had died from its effects. The knout is first heard of in the reign of Ivan III. This was toward the close of the fifteenth century. It was an in strument even more hideoUB than any thing now known in Russia a whip with a handle nine Inches long, and n very complex lash composed of six pieces held together by two mctul rings and ending in a beak-like hook. The edges of the lash were sharpened to a fine, point. Every blow cut as with a two-edged sword. To heighten the effect, tho trained executioner, by a deft and artistic motion, pulled the lash toward him while recovering, so that the cunningly devised hook brought off a long, thin strip of flesh at every blow. The trousseau of the gentleman who was being operated upon, consisted only of a pair of drawers. Ho was fastened flat on his belly on an inclined frnme. the hands and feet extended at full length and firmly bound to iron rings at the extremity of tho frame. With a re finement of ingenuity, the head of the sufferer was often so closely confined that he could not get relief for his feel ings in howling. Not every one could handle tho knout successfully. It required a nice combi nation of qualities, native and acquire'!. Having first been born, the executioner must be made. A cold and cruel spirit, nn Iron nerve and great strength these wero the gifts which some fairy godmother must havo showered upon him in his cradle. A long apprentice ship would bo necessary to develop these excellent attributes. Usually the chief executioner was some criminal who had himself been condemned to the punishment he was saved to ad minister. During his moments of leisure from active employment It was his business to give Instructions to pupils. A sort of lay figure was nsed for practice. Tho chief executioner instructed his apt and willing scholnrs In tho art of dealing their blows so that tho injury might be graduated according to tho nature of the crime or the size of the bribe which the executioner might have surrepti tiously received. It tho executioner wero Inclined to mercy he could Inflict Immediate death by making the victim dislocate his own neck. Or ho could protract the agony for an hour or so by cutting Into the loins. With tho original knout, a sentence of from 100 to 120 lashes was equivalent to a sentence of death. Indeed, In many cases the victim died under the opera tion long before the number was com pleted. That was a pity. Tho kindly Russian heart, with kindness tempered by a severe sense of Justice, looked on tho criminal as a cheat If ho died without receiving his entire sentence. Therefore, from time to time the severi ty of the knout was modified until tho offender could receive a sentence of 2,000 lashes. The last knout In use the knout which has just been abolished was an ordinary three-thonged lash tipped with leaden balls, and known as a pletoi. It is only fair to Bay that since the acces sion of Alexander II. even this had been used only in certain penal settlements notably in Siberia. Tho horror of tho present day, how over, is as nothing to the horror of the past, but stories of executions by the knout In comparatively recent times are horrible enough. Take for example the testimony of a British merchant, resident in Russia in 183C. The condemned criminal was a murderer, twenty-five years of age. Ho was stripped to his trousers and boots and fastened to the stage, The knout in this instance consisted of a handle a foot long, with a piece of twisted hide of similar length. To this was attached by a ring a piece of thong of almost me tallic hardness, perfectly fiat, about an Inch broad and four or five feet long. After every seventh blow the thong was changed lest It might have lost some of its hardness by use. The executioner etood some Ave feet from the victim. He slowly raised the knout till It had attained the proper elevation, then he brought it down with awful force upon the middle of the culprit's back. A deep, crimson mark nearly an Inch In breadth and extending from the neck to the waistband of the trousers showed where the horrid thong had hit. A scream, or rather a yell, of agony rang through the air. Every fibre of the poor wretch's body seemed In n slnto of violent and Instantaneous contortion. Whnck! whack! whackl camo tho blows In quick succession till tho eighth had been reached. Each blow was followed by tho same frightful yell and shudder. Then tho chief executioner gave place to an assistant, and so one relieved tho other until tho tale was completed. The screams of the victim became weaker until about tho fiftieth blow, when tho criminal's head fell to one sldo and ho seemed unconscious of any further pain. When all was over his back presented a hideous spectacle. It was one mangled, bloated mass of deep crimson hue. Ho was returned to the prison, where he died next day. Even more frightful nro tho accounts of tho punishment known as running the gauntlet, which wus practiced until a comparatively recent period In the Russian army. Ono cannot help but shuddering at reading tho accounts of oye-wltnesses to .these hideous proceed Ings. DEATH OF THE BIRDS. The Fearful KJTect of the February Cold Snap In tho South. Tho readers of "Our Boys and Girls" have boon told of the great damage done to tho orange-groves and the fig trees of the south by the cold "snap" of last February, but there Is another 1033 that we who live there have Buffered, about which very little has been snld. Tho severe weather not only killed our trees but tho thousands of bright-plumed birds that havo heretofore enlivened our forests and groves with their beau tiful coats and their sweet songs. Tho bluebird, that harbinger of tho early spring, did not give us hl8 merry greeting this year. His bright blue Jacket and brown-red 'breast wero missed by everybody. Seven little blue forms, dried and decayed, were found in one old post on our place, where the poor creatures had fled In vain for shelter. The blue Jay still struts about with his usual dignity, but only hero and there, showing that his tribe has suf fered fearful losses. The peculiarly sad note of tho turtle-dove this year seems to mourn for the death of all her family. The effects upon tho several tribes of the oriole seem to be the most curious. They evidently look upon man as the worker of all tho evil they havo suf fered. Formerly it was an easy matter to find their swinging nests near to al most any country house, and they ap peared not to be afraid of men. Now they have hidden their nests far out in the forests and they are shy even of tho breeze as it rocks the cradle of their young. Even the few humming birds that are left will not come to suck the pot plant as was once their dally habit. The woodpecker, though only a sum mer visitor, Is spending his vacation at other resorts this season. His lazy call and his constant drumming upon some dead tree, so common in summer bo fore, are conspicuously absent this year. But the fell destroyer waB no respecter of persons or rank; the royal family succumbed as well as the peas antry. The mocking-bird, tho queen of tho bird race by virtue of her genius and inheritance", is nlmost destroyed, except along the Mexican Gulf. A hun dred miles back It is hard to find one. Tho gum-tree and its berries, whfch havo been held as her homo and her feeding ground as far back as bird his tory runs. Is now the feeding ground of her commonest subjects, the sap-sucker and the yellow-hammer. I have heard but two singers this year within a scope where In former years I have heard 200. In losing a crop of oranges, figs and vegetables, we lose dollars and a few luxuries whose place may be supplied by the other sweets. The trees will grow again after a few years, but it will bo many years beforo our groves and forests arc full of birds again. G. W. H A Commonplace Life. Tho trouble is with you, my dear girl, that you count littlo things as of no worth. Where we have ono great re nunciation to make we have a thou sand little ones, and life, which you are inclined tq call commonplace, is not so, for every day can bo made rich in beautiful deeds. God, who Is Just, Is merciful, nnd when temptation comes to you, even If you fall, Ho remembers that you tried to do what was right, and so Is tender In His thought of you. There is not ono of us who achieves, even for one day, what we long to. But, my dear, we can aways try for it. We can be ready for the trouble that is be fore us and equip ourselves by prayer and good thoughts so that we can meet It bravely, and, possibly, overcome it. Of course, that Is what we wish to do, and yet if we are not strong enough, If we fall by the wayside, we must get up and try again, and keep on trying. That, in Itself, will give us strength. And as the years go on and youth be longs to the past, It will always, be cause of this trying, be easier to do that which Is right and merit "that peace which passeth all understanding." A lilunt Man. An Intensely reserved man, Ibsen Is not at all fond of talking of himself or of his works. At a dinner somo time ago the wife of a well-known artist, being seated beside him, insisted on conducting the conversation to that end and finally maintained at length that his "Heddn. Gabler" was an Impos sible woman. "But, madam," he an swered, "I drew her from the life." "Yes, Herr Doktor, but I am a woman. I should know. I say again, It Is Im possible that such a woman shoutd ex ist." This was too much for Herr Dok tor; like a flash he turned on her. "Idiot!" he ejaculated, which was nat urally the end of that conversation. AN OFFENDED OSTRICH, An Innocent Kitten MUtuok Ills Leg for HiIInz nml Cltmheil Up. (From tho Philadelphia Press.) Tho ostrich at the Zoological Gnrdon stood In tho long yard adjoining Its cago In tho deer houso yesterday. It gazed contemplatively through tho bars of the fence at tho world beyond and shivered every once In a whllo ns tho cool breezes swept down upon It. It was thinking of tho difference In cli mates and wondering whether if It hurled ono of Its eggs as It used to do in tho long grass during such weather tho cool wave would hatch out an Ice cream churn. Whllo It was revolving tho question In its mind a playful kitten camo through tho fenco Into tho yard. It was a pretty kitten pure white, ex cept for n fow blotches that looked as If somebody had thrown an Ink bottlo at It, after carefully romovlng tho cork. Tho kitten went running along tho yard until It camo to the ostrich. Thinking Its long, thick legs were young sap lings tho playful kitten gave a run and quickly climbed up them and was soon on top of tho ostrich's back. The hugo bird did not know what to make of It at first, and Went cantering around tho yard ns though tho plaguo wero after It. Round and round It went until red In the faco it came to n sud den stop. Tho kitten never moved. It had taken n firm hold of the ostrich and did not proposo to he shaken. "I tftqpd tho earthquako this morn ing," said the kitten; "I guess I can ctand this." Finding that the strango beast re cused to bo thus Bilmmnrlly disposed of tno ostrich necame less scared and more angry. It curled Its neck and twisted Its hca'd so as to get a. fair look jit tho kit ten. Tho kitten never winced. It began to think It had barked up the wrong tree, but It -was determined to seo the matter out. The ostrich aimed a blow at the undesirable rldor with Its beak, but It dodged. It tried It again, but tho result was the same. Again and again the agllo head and long neck rained sledge-hammer blows at tho tricky Htn tlo kitten. It oscaped thom all, though some were too near for comfort. Finally the kitten got scared. It ran out on the ostrich's neck to get out of tho way. Then It smiled. Tho ostrich couldn't hit It there. It's smile did not last long, howover. With a sudden movement the ostrich stretched Its neck backward, encircled tho kitten round the waist, and squeezed it until It was dead. Then it unwound Itself and placidly looked at the dead animal. After a moment or two of contempla tion It picked up its victim and flung It as far at It could. Then It calmly re sumed tho meditations that had been so ruthlessly interrupted. Tho IrUh rotlco Surgeon. Police Sergeant Is the man danger ously wounded? Irish Police Surgeon Two of the wounds are mortal, but the third can bo cured provided the man keeps per fectly quiet for at least six weeks. NOTES OF THE DAY. A Maine paper claims to have a cor respondent 4 years old the youngest In the world. A naphtha spring has been openod at Grosnl, In tho Caucasus, which throws jets of tho fluid to a great height. A Lowell man, whllo on a hunting trip recently, succeeded In performing the remarkable feat of killing two foxes at one shot. Tho cities of London, Glasgow and Manchester- nre considering tho ques tion of establishing a system of munici pal fire Insurance. There Is a hen at Danbury, Conn., that must be going In for a course of calisthenics. She has Just Jaid an egg in the shape of a dumbbell. In Turkey even objects of rlmc ne cessity aro sold on credit, nnd in that country, as well as In Russia, the tlmo allowed Is, in mo3t caBes, twelve months. In Spain four-fifths of the transac tions are done on a cash basis, while In Portugal great liberality Is shown and qulto long credit la genorally allowed. Tho lato drouth In New Hampshire has killed thousands of young trout, many of the small breeding brooks having dried entirely up this season that were nover dry before. MEN OF MARK. An Ohio man has started a nickel popular subscription for Mark Twain. George Lord of San Bernardino, Cal Is said to be tho world's oldest Mason. Ills age is 98 years. Ex-President Harrison expects to spend the months of November and December at Saratoga. Congressman" Heatwole"ofMlnneBo'ta will be the handsomest member of th$ next House of Representatives. Fitzgerald Murphy, author of "The Silver Lining," the great free sliver play, began life as a reporter on the Now York World. He Is, not yet 30, A Washington Market. New York, butcher Is known as "The Sweetbread King," and does the largest business in that edible delicacy of any man In tho country, his annual sales being about 200.000 pairs. It is a curious fact that Li Hung Chang, who is not a tobacco smoker, has one of the finest collections of smoking utensils in the world, He has pipes of all agea and from all parts of the world. He keeps adding constantly to his treasures In this line. G. Bernard Shaw, author of "Arms and the Man," has been a figure of some prominence In literary London for five years, during which time he has al ternately attracted attention as art critic, novelist, socialist and play wright. He Is a tall and rather slender ypung Irishman of perhaps 38 years, a non-smoker, a wit and a vegetarian. TO LIVE AT CAPITAL. BEAUTIFUL HOME THERE FOR MRS. O. W. CHILDS. YVhloiY of the I.nto .lounmlltt Will ran the Itemalruler of Her lay Amid Congenial Surrounillngn Tho Munition In Detail. Washington Correspondence. f-JjiiM miuiUQ Ol UCIO- r"P Iium mill A n tlATlf UV V H OV.U UU If addition to tho many famous wid ows who havo chosen tho capital for their homo, nnd tho loss of Phila delphia will bo Washington's gnln. for at that dnto Mrs. Chllds will tako up bor permanont residence in this city. Being possessed ot groat wealth It was natural that Mrs. Chllds should so lect tho capital, and it is now about seven months since tho building has begun to rise from Us foundations. Tho situation is n flno ono, being In tho center of the block on K street, Just between Fifteenth nnd Sixteenth streets, nnd in a most fashionable neighborhood, but an equally conven ient ono to tho ccntrnl part ot tho city. The Whlto House Is only three blocks MRS. G. W. CHILDS. away, on the next square ore the homes of Quay, Madame Bonaparto nnd Sec retary Hoko 'Smith, whllo on tho same Bquare and Just at the left of tho Chllds house Is the hugo homo of Senator Hale. To tho right aro the houses of tho first secretary of tho Argentlno legation and the spacious grounds ot tho home of Representative Hltt. The house Is four stories high, count ing tho cellar, which Is n most com modious one. Tho material Is a small, pale yellow brick and tho stone work around the bottom Is Avondalo rock or granite from Pennsylvania. There aro about forty rooms In the whole build ing, and all aro In nice proportion. Tho entrance Is on the right sldo of tho mansion and Is a large doorway, over which is a pretty carving. Steps lead up to tho wldo main hall, which Is on tho Eccond floor. The hall runs almost the entire length of the house, nnd on it face tho rooms ot that floor, whllo from It runs a broad stairway up into tho third story. As one ontora tho hall tho first bbject which catches tho eye is an immenso open fire-place, over which Is ft mirror whoso frnme Is of antlquo oak and whose work about the flro Is of redstone. Tho largest room In tho house Is on this flqor and it is tho library, which extends all across tho front of tho build ing. Tho chamber Is in a mahogany known as Baywood, which is a light tint, almost of n cherry shade. Tho walls are tinted with n Bago green, tho cases, doors, mantel and cornices arc ot the wood and the effect is very fine. Thero.are hugo wlndows,thnt will make tho room a delightful placo for reading. Adjoining the library Is the parlor, or drawing-room, as It is now called In polite circles. This room is much smaller and cosier than the library and THE CHILDS MANSION, will probably be In a tint ot Ivory and gold. The grate Is set In onyx and the delicate Louis XI. mirror is already In place. This room, when it is tinted and furnished In all the graceful ele gances that wealth can command, will be a gem ot beauty, and probably one of the most attractive parlors in this city of magnificent homes. Next to the drawing room is the din ing roonij which is quite large In di mensions; The tinting ot this room will be dark brown with golden trim mings. At one end is a high mantel of dark wood, oak, which has been stained till it is almost black and thus has an ulr of great antiquity. The top Is surmounted by a largo mirror. On the left hand is a big buffet of the same wood, on which the silver and chlra 111 bo displayed, and Just opposite Is $ l nfm fr . III - d P ' ' tho plato rnblnct, also of dark onk, in J wnicn me rnro pieces oi piato win ue shown against n background ot rich velvet. Adjoining tho dining room Is the butler's pantry. This apartment In fitted up In unique style. A dumb waiter descends Into tho kitchen nnd all about the rooms aro closets and shelves, whllo nround the top of the chamber Is a balcony which nllows ncccss to a second set of closets up high against tho wall. A staircase admits tho servant to tho china when moro Is needed nnd thus all of It Is be foro tho eyes ot tho mlstrcBS, but does not occupy tho floor of the room. Just at ono sldo Is a small closot with a strong steel door this Is tho vault fbr tho protection ot tho handsome silver. Just below tho butler's pantry Is tho cold-storago room, In which the cdl- bloB nro kept and into which tho too is put direct from the wugon. This room Is on tho ground floor, Just bolow all tho apartments boforo described. Hero Is tho hugo kitchen with long ranges extending across ono side ot tho room. Next to It is tho laundry, which line handsome tiled tubs and fi big, tin-lined room In which tho cloth ing can bo put when wot and drlod by steam. Across the hall Is tho lamp room and adjoining Is tho wine cellar. This Is just bolow the main ontrnnco on tho floor nbovo and has around tho walls wooden rnckn with Uttlo curves cut in them, so that tho bottles will Ho safely on their sides. Adjoining Is tho store room for groceries,- nnd noxt Is the servants' dining room, n large, cool, comfortable chamber. All of tho ground or cellnr floor la in neat colors.flnlshed in light wood with ns much pnlns as it it were tho drawing room. At tho bock of tli9 houso runB nit olovntor, which ,ls an Important fenture of tho establish ment. On tho third floor, thnt above tho par lor and dining rooms, nro tho chambers of Uio mistress of the mansion nnd her guest, Miss Poterson, who Is a niece ot Mrs. Chllds. Tho first room on this floor Is facing tho street, and Is a beau tiful and spacious bath room, finished In tho softest and most nttractlvo tints of a dollcato pink nnd gold. A grace fully carved mantel is at, ono side, rich tiling floors a part of tho placo nnd the tub is ot porcelain and full of glenming spigots. This is Mrs. ChlldB own pri vate bath room. Adjoining Is her bed chamber, which is a spacious apart ment. It is light and airy nnd will be finished In dollcato tints ot the softest shades. Opening Into her bed room Is what Is known or rather will be known as "Mrs. Chllds' don." It Is a cosy little room, in which she can spend her time in reading and writing, nnd just in front of the window is a tiny balcony MISS PETERSON, from which she can look down into Senator Hale's yard. From this "den" one stops Into tho sitting room ot Miss Peterson a chamber which is much like that of Mrs. Chllds' and will alao bo handsomely furnished. Adjoining this Is tho bed room of Miss Peterson, and next to that is a bright chamber which will bo used as a sewing room. On the fourth floor are several largo, handEome rooms which will be used ns guest chambers, and are furnished In luxurious, style. At tho back ot the flue rooms, which face tho street, will be the neat and comfortablo quartertfof the servants. A small yard is on the left of the mansion and at the back is a pretty stable and carriage house. It is safe to say that the Chllds resi dence will become one of the sights of tho city and the social world will when tho next season opens find that the Quaker City baB sent to the capital ono ot Its most attractive ornaments. Wash ington has already within its gates many famous women, Mrs. General John A. Logan, Mrs. General Phil Sher idan, Mrs. Nellie Grant-Sartorls, Mrs. Blaine and Madame Bonaparte, as well as Mrs. Harriet L. Johnston, among the number. Where the I.nnoun rirr. Few Americans, says the New York Tribune, aro aware of tho fact that it it were not for the little island of Sicily now there would be no lemons, nor are many aware ot the great importance of this commerce and of its necessity to the United States. The production ot lemons In America is so limited at the present time, both as regards quan tity and EeasonB, that all ot California's and Florida's products do not supply 10 per cent of the country's needs After the months of August and Sep tember, when our domestic lemon crops mature, but for Sicily we should be without any lemons whatsoever, ex cept for a few that Spain sends us, during the rest of the year. Accurate figures show that from September 10 to April 30 during the last five years the Importations from Sicily have been about 1,200,000 boxes every year, each containing 300 lemons. This is poual to 360,000,000 lemons. WJNC FAT'S WEDDINO. A Nolntlle Function In High Chlnea foclcty in Han FrnncMco. Wing Fni, ft well-known member ot tho Chinese colony, "was married at 5 o'clock Sunday morning to Miss Mow Sing Yu, niece ot Li Hoy Hung, presi dent ot one of tho Six Companies, Last night tho brldo and groom entertained their friends at dinner at tho Hank Per Low restaurant on Dupont street, Somo 200 Chinese and between thirty nnd forty "ladies and gentlemen wore present. TJio brldo Is a dtmuro -littlo Chinese woman, Just 18 years of ago. Sho Is but ft recent arrival In San Francisco, having couie from her Ori ental homo to marry Mr. Fat, who la tho foreman for Louis Moyersloln & Co., and Is worth over $100,000, says San Francisco Examiner. There wero hut few nt tho wedding, and tho pecu liar f hlncBO ceremony was performed In ono of tho temples of tho Six Com panies. When the brldnl company ar rived at tbo restaurant last night there was a great display of colored lights nnd n perfect fusillade of bombs nnd firecrackers. Tho banquet room was decornted In brilliant colors and aglow with tho light of many Chinese lan terns. Tho whlto guests wore Boated at a dlfforont tablo from tho Chinese, and at the table where tho lattor were seated tho groom presided with hla bride. Mrs. Fat had on n light green silk costumo trimmed with gold bro cade and many precious Btones. Tho groom was arrayed in a silk suit auit nble to his rank nnd fortune." Tho menu was most elnborato and there was nothing to mar tho festivities of tho evening In tho least. Tho white guestB enjoyed tho affair as much as any who were present, and tho groom was fully equal to tho occasion, both In the dig nity of hlB bearing and thomnnnner In which he welcomed tho guests in true Oriental stylo. After tho Chi nese fashion, tho spoechmaklng and tho popping of chnmpagno corks opened up the wedding dlnnner. Li Hoy Hung, the bride's uncle, mado addrcssea both In Chinese and English. A Chinese dinner of cholco and rare dishes was then servod. But these many and va ried courses did not conclude tho repast for to tho surprise of many of the Chi nese and whlto guests a dinner cooked and served in tho American style fol lowed. Each lady in tho party was presented by the bride with a fan, n pair of ivory chopsticks and a Chlncso bracelet. Every gentleman received na n memento of tho occasion a handBomo pipe. At tho conclusion ot tho dinner the guests repaired to one of the Chi nese theaters, where a performance by Chinese children was In progress for the entertainment of Mr. and Mrs. Fnt. The latter nnd their relatives to gether with all tho white guests, occu pled boxes and seats on tho stage. Ho Felt ft Drausht. "My- father," said Simpson, solemnly, "was more Bensltlvo to colds than any body I ever know. Tho slightest-exposure gav him a cold," "That must have been very disagree able." "Indeed, it was. Ho never could nit near a draught for a minute without catching a cold, I remember on one oc casion he was Bitting In the house ot a friend when all nt onco my father be gan to sneeze. Ho Insisted that thero was a draught In tho room. Every ef fort was made to discover where tho draught was, but In vain. Tho doors nnd windows were closed nnd thero was no fireplace, but my father kept on sneezing nnd Insisting that there must bo a draught in the room, and io thero was." "Where waB It?" "It was found that the stopper haa been left out of the vinegar bottle," MORE OR LESS HUMOROUS. When a fool opens his mouth evory one with good eyes can seo clear through his head. Ram's Horn. Tho mills of justice not only grind slowly, but they frequently grind up the wrong people. Elmlra Telegram. Fond parent: "I wish, Bobby, that I could be ft little bpy again." Bobby; "I wish you could littler than me." Tid-Blts. Teacher: "How did sin come Into tho world?", Tho new Boy: "The preacher picked out nil the things people liked to do and said they were sins," In dianapolis Journal. Miss East (at an Oklahoma ball); "Pardon mo for treading on your too, sir." Alkali Iko (gallantly): "Not n toll, mom! Not a-toll, I assure you! Pardlng me for bavin' ft toe." Puck. Cbolly: "Thought you wero going to marry Miss Kostique?" Gussle: "Going to aw8k her 'to-night. My chances are about even." "How so, deah boy? "Sho must either say 'yes or 'no. "Phila delphia Record. Doctor: "I felt some Blight delicacy at first in telling you it waB triplets." Mr. Muchblest: "That Is nothing to the delicacy 1 shall feel In telling it to the nurse who Is coming to-morrow." New York World. Client: "You have. saved my estate. How. can I ever recompense you? Law yer: "I am disposed to make it easy for you, with several payments, you know. I am willing to take the estate as the first payment." Detroit Tribune. Mistress (to cook): "Your name, Mary, and my daughter's being the same makes matters rather contusing. Now, how do you like, say, the name Brid get?" Cook: "Sure, mum, it's not mo tha's particular. I am willing to call the young lady anything you like." Tid-BIte. Chummy; "What would you think of a man that always went round talking to himself?" Gruffly; "I Bhould say If he did it to listen to himself he was a fool; it he did it to avoid Hst'.nlng to bis friends, be was a genius; and if he did it to save his friends from listening n him h trim n nhllAnlhrnnfRt , Q I Truth.