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About The courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1894-1903 | View Entire Issue (June 18, 1898)
9 J;S&k5$82a&aaB m&m 4$&m$&&&$&m. & ww?pp : gssx rf?, OSc f-c fW3 3 5S3 c?5 Pwwwwwww jv hup 'uv uvy kux ku hu it f YTl&tRMiD WW GOODS 00. 10281029 O St. 0-T inooln, Keti & $& w 'jgJMM aisi tiww the cotr : - c m $i ?ii$ OUR PRIGiS SEbL OUR GOODS we? And the Courtesy with which all customers are waited upon make this store the Shopping- Emporium. $$k KINDIY CALL AT THE STORE AND SEE WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER. i m - SRT Vlfl&STS Be Thoroughly Satisfied or Else Refuse to Buy. 5 HUM Bargains That You Do Not . Profit By We Do Not Seek. i i i i ! i rrr aw m m M. vw "WU L The sun is coming out and Jl of those who have not a good supply of comfortable knobbv shirt waists on hand fUl should call here. We can show a complete line in colors and white, all kinds of material and of the very latest style at 98c, $1.49, SlJpS, $2.49 and $2.98. . KUV '! ja Fitzgerald JMW' TVr-M tfVrvri s'feJi 1023-1029 & $ Go ?Lm? -irruill JJ tXT .fci llieCl sfoincoln, Nebifjp earth wobble on its axis. The easiest way out of it is to drag your weary limbs around and get a spado and under his personal supervision dig a ditch "as is a ditch." As soon as it is large enough to carry off the tears you are shedding by this time it will do. When ho is out of sight and hearing you may retire and rehearEO a few of his expressions in a low tone of voiee. Never give way to your feelings and land on your superior'sproboscis. munch his ear and ram a few teeth djwn his throat. This has been tried twice be fore and both privates now slumber in graves two sizes too large for them. After completing a few hundred other odd jobs, you are commanded to "Fall in for mess.'' This order you obey with a great deal of expression and a tin plate, knire and spoon. A9 you march by cook No. 1, hold out your plate for a boiled potato. If jou have ever played first base well eneugh to pleaEO the average audience jou get the potato, otherwise the man behind you drops his plate, grabs his eye and lights out for the hospital. Cook No. 2 dashes a ladle of cold canned tomatoes at your pan. Part o! these remain and the balance is equally distributed over jour person. Cook No. 3 ha9 a few pieces of boiled swine sticking on the eid of a pronged fork. One of these pieces he shoves oH with a linger that wants soap and water almost as bad as you want home and mother. Cook No. 4 supplies you with hard tack and says "move on." You then seek some secluded spot at the foot of a large tree and prepare to insult your interior. After seating jourself you rise almost instantaneously and are g ieved to learn that jou have entirely ruined a cunning little cactus. It is well to sit upon a cactus the firbt day in camp as it tends to make one more observing. In practising, if unable to sit upon a cactus borrow a pin cushion. After placing the p!ate upon the rail fence at a convenient height, hold an inquest (on the supper.) Perhaps you havo never noticed it before but now it is proven to your satisfaction that the average pig grows hair. When thor oughly convinced of this you may throw it away or take it to the cook and re mark carelessly that ho might "shave it." I would not advise the latter course, however. You may also use your own judgment as to whether you eat at all or not. Mo3t of us wait until it is a question of eating or winging our way to the golden shore, and then eat. The balance of the time we damn the com missary department. Do you supposo that Hector, Achilles, Mark Antony, Col. J. Caesar or any of the great war riors of olden times ever went into bat tle with a stummick full of coid toma toes and hard tack? Not on your tin type. Neither did Col. B. Fitzsimmons. But I am wandering. After supper you are so tired that j ou Hop down on a blanket and commence te sleep so bard that jou almost have b j stories. Take about thirl j'-seven winks, then turn out hastily when jou hear the corporal of the guard ripping around trying to find you. When found you will know enough next time to look at the "ort'er paper" pasted at the head of the street and know when you are to report for guard duty. Hustle out with the relief and take a few moic drags with your weary Iirub3 for two houre. At eight o'clock jou are relieved and at twelve you go on again, receive the same instruction? about allowing sus picious characters to pass the lines, and above all things watch the mules acd 6ee that none escape. Then off you go with the detail, just enough awakd to stumble off through the woods and darkness to relieve some sentinel who has been faithfully snoozing at his post. After you have taken hia place and are waiting for the relief to get out of range so you can sit down and take it easy, jou notice some commotion among the mules. You say "Whoa mule!" This never failp to send about three govern ment mules into spasms and in a mo ment they are winging their way through the woods. It now becomes jour duty to entice these mules back to the fold. If you have ever had anj exporience in this line you will at once realize that it is about as easy to induce a good healthy adult mulo to follow anything but his own inclinations, as it ie to borrow money on antique collateral. If jou do not realize it at once you will after charging around through the darkness for a few hours. One guard, night bo fore last, captured a mule in a unique manner. He sneaked up behind Mr, Mule and nabbed him bj the cute little nub on the end of his tail. If the guard hadn't had a most phenomenal grip we might not have recovered as much of him as we did. As It was the mule returned in the morning with a man's hand firmly graspicg the nub. Upon following the tra 1 in order to get
