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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (May 6, 1904)
' " ' ' ' ' ' ' ' " , , , , , . " " ' rV' . . . , . . ; ; - - - , " , . " , . " , ' - - - . . 1 " , : , : , , . . t' May 6. igoi. THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE . 7'I I . - . - - - ' FACTS AND FANCIES. BY ALLAN D. MAY. . Is it all wrong to cuss the government t ' ' , . And like an anarchistic zealot shout , ; , , : : i , : : . . - . ' When buddies by the than clerk are . , missen , ' , And thus yourdaily paper misses out ? . I : ; . Have you trimmed your trees ? . . If , wishes were automobiles , ' beggars : \vould Have adder tales to tell. 1\ ! . We would rather be a poverty stricken optimist than a million- , sire pessimist. About the most foolish thing the government does is to issue . . . . . . . special exposition stamps. 1 " r'f you had saved all the money . ' . you spent for beer ' last summer 1. 'You might have had , a. panama , hat this summer. r Blissful ignorance IS the kind 1 k possessed by the girl who paints her cheeks and imagines that people don't know it. . t -oVe - imagine that the singing of the Russian national anthem ' must sound a good deal like the , . squeaking of an old fashioned well . : ' . If - 1\IcClure's magazine has . - i iuch jf a circulation , in Colorado . it is not probable that Ray Stan- nard Baler will \ spend his summer . . vacation in that state. . - The ; grocerymall smiles . every , . ' ' time " he see : a fruit tiee . laden . . . 'J / with blossotns. The grocery - , . mankno\vs . . , that all'this fruit win . . be canned and that he' will have sugar to sell. , . If the fad for giving : presents on every pretext continues to grow , one . , will' . , soon be expected to give divorce presents . to the same . - couple to whom he once gave t ; wedding presents. ' . What long delay might . have been avoided : had ' the : United n . . States senate turnen the Smoot . investigation business ' over ' to tie . + Crackerjack Debating club and - , . . . had it settled , with " due . neatness . . - . " . . and dispatch. . . - . ; , ' , People no longer ' to town ! to see the elephant , but : wllen the circus arrives ' they com . to see the behemoth. V4 e would rather ' see an elephant any : day. The . behemoth looks too much like the . family cow. : :31' : A } young man went to hang a a lay basket on the door of the house where dwells his lady loye. .He then started for the gate , but t the family dog got there .first. ( The next time you meet him you J 1' ' ' ' will know him by the limp. - About this season of the } yea r it requires great will pO\\1er \ tc . .prevent : \ writing p tn about thc glad , free life of ' thc. farmer , Once upon a time we wrote some . < _ undying . . . . . , " - - , verses : , . . - - . - about" . . . . . - ' " _ . . . - merr ) , farmer and his merry life and the i 'w. , j . R . . . . . . . . , . . + .i .iI1Jii.nJ ! .1.aJJJt.w"MtUM : ; ! ( " : . " . I next week five hundred and twen- ty-fi ve (525) ( ) merry farmers called at the office and swore by the god of plowshares that we ' didn't- know anything about farming or' life on the farm. This so discouraged - couraged us that we have care- fully avoided the subject ever since. . . If Jack Crook wants to nalw himself solid with the ladies when he takes charge of the post office , he should advertise . a pig bargain sale and , sell one dollars worth of stamps for ninety-nine cents and throw in . a postal card as a premium as long as they last. . Fame is not always so much to be desired. In the suburbs of' Louisville , Ky. , there lived an old lady unknown to fame and an unconscious of the fact that she was wasting any sweetness , , on the desert . air. But one day ' a woman with literary talent wan- dered near her secret bower and molested . her ancient , solitary re' gn-in other words this woman "discovered" her and dragged her out into the lime light of publicity and all the world be- came acquainted ' with : Mrs. 'Viggf of the Cabbage Patch Tliena the old lady's trouble begat1. People were prompted by curios- ity to visit , her humble abode 'and see'whether or not the artist had done a good' job of character drawing ' , They came on foot and in carriages and automobiles and coaches and kept her so busy exHibiting herself 'that she did not get a chance to call on Miss Hazy 'for days 'at ' a time. At last , the situation became unbearable and she locked the < door and denied admission to one and all , But thc other day a. woman , called who .r fused to be thwarted in her desire to see the celebrity. She knocked at the front door and when she failed to get a response - spouse , she went to they back door. Thereupon , Mrs. Wiggs , who , , had fled into an - upper cham- . , ber , emptied a jar of slop.on the head of : . her persistent visit9r. An the good w01l1an' , philosophy- tliat , . you read about in . . the book seems to have deserted , her and her prayer , "Lord keep .me from .gittin' sour" seems to be un- . answered. _ Firemen , 'Elect ' Officers' The members of the volunteer fire department held their annual election on : Monday evening and the following officers were chosen for the ensuing' year : W. K. l Knight , . chief ; George Goldner assistant chief and president of the company ; Hal .Burris , secre- ) taryVill ; Uhlig , treasurer The . boys are thinking some of hold- , ing a firemen"'s fair some time this 'fall ' Considering . everything ' the fire department is in' good : . ' ' " . . . . . . . . . " ' . . . . . . . . , . . . - . - " _ _ L _ sndpe' * ' t . . . I' ' ' " : . . , ' , . . . . . , ' . , ' ; : o' , ' / . ' . , . . . t , , . ' . , " j. ' . ' . ' " . , I . , . , . . ' 'HOLT'S " " " . , ' . . , . ' " . " . ; 1 . 1" , . . Y , : . , " : , , , . . . . , . . . , .t' " " f. " : . " , : , , ' . ' < i Shoe Store r" ' ' : I ' " , _ , .1' . , , : . 1 I " : . ; I " . Falls City . " Neb. . f , . ' , ' , ; ' " . - . . . SHOES' I Men ' 1..cnuI.u , . , , " . , . . . . . , . .i' , . , . , . . . I.r. . . . ' ' " " ' " ' ' " I ' ' ' ' ' ' ' - ' ' ' for I Children : " : . ' . , ' ' ' " ' ' . ' < .1/ 4 I'I' - . . &c" . , . . ow , . - " ' - . , I would . be pleased to have you , . call I ! I. ' . . ; _ . : , , : " ! : ; ' ; 1 'to see our Shoe Styles , . . , . ' . . . " . " 'f , ; , . Would . also like < : add your name . . . k " , . " to our list of custoll1ers. ' : : . . " ; " . ' 'children'stSh ' esn'Sp'cclnlfy. ' , : . . . . . , . , , , ( . ' . , I ' r. . . . . _ r I / ' " Warm Lined Shoes for Old , Folks. : . , . . . . . , " ' . is , " ,1 1 r . . ' ; " J - . . . . . Rubbers and Overshoes of. U'Klnds. , ' , "U' : : ' : " : . . , . . " . . , .1. . : " : . . . ' , , . . . : ' . , . " ' ; . ' , , . " ' Want to . Phone ? , , ' . ' . . . . ' : - ; " / , . . , . . , Call 23' ' " . ' I . . . , . . - . : . . - . . . - , . . . . : ' . ' . . . . . . , . . .J . ' , ' . . . ' , . ' " , . ' . . J , . r" . . . . . . . , Glad 'to ' Know . it. \ j ' . . ' . . > Congressman Burkett leas nominated ; - ; inated G. J. Crook as.ostmastcr ' , at Falls , City. Mr. Crook will be' remembered as one oJ the sup- porters' of Mr. Reavis in the Richards t1 county..war last fal . He was ' a delegate to the Judicial I con vention and made many warm . friends in Beatrice who will beI I glad to learn l of his n011 inatioti. - Beatrice Epress. . . . . , Fra.terna.1' Picnic " The Fraternal : Union met Monday - . day evening at the G. A. R. han and made further arrangements ' for the bIg picnic , , to be held in August. Th fin1mce committee reported that 'the inerc1uirlts and citizens gener lly' were respond- ing liberally with sc'riptions. It is he intention of the ' Union ' to purchase a large tent for ti e at these picnics and it is expected , that after this year , rentals fr.om the tent and receipts from stand rights and privilege will make it unnecessary to raise money . by ' ' . , , sUbscription , . in the future . Injured .in Runaway. ' . While Miles , W Knapp ; the the Ncmaha City liveryman and his wife and baby.-two 'months old--were returning IvI 0'11 d a y morning from a visit with their daughter , 1\lrs. I , . P. Shell en- barger , who lives five miles ? west of ' . Stella , his team became un- - managable . and when he lost cone trol they threw the baby out of the buggy and were soon thrown romthe : vehicle themselves , lrs. Knapp getting her collar bone broken besides being injured internally - ternally , Ivr- Knapp received an ugly gash in the head and the baby escaped with the least in- jury , getting only a bruise where it struck it on the head in fall- ing. , How , ' it. . , eSCalcd , ) being ' instantly - stantly killed is , a Jllys.tery. The ' ' ' injured i parties ' ' were carried to the farm house of J. R. Brockman and [ a physician summoned : ; r . , . . ' ' , . . . " " J' : , For ale. , , . : t ' r " 'r:7 : i For sale-As nice' 160 a as you ever .saw. peep"b1a soil , not a pebble 0.11 it , . within .hveLve miles of the. capital of : South Dakota for.S1QO , see. Whit ker 'Bros. , . at once. , " -14-tf. . ; , . ' . . . ! . . . . . Coue & T.hornton handle iiotli- upe . , l tJ - , ing but the best of .m abh , ' , t f ' ' : McNa.Il's , r . . . , , : 'J' : GRCOERY' : . ' : ; . . . , , ' . ' . ' , . ' l' I' iI' ; ' Fancy : ; and Seale' : ; . . . ' , 01 ; ' : t ' : ' ; ' ; ' ! : . , jrocerie . . , . ! , ' t' , ' d ; . : .al. . ' Fruit in Seas 1. > . , . . . . ( i ; ( Satisfaction Ouarr : : ; an teed. . . ' .1 : ' 'I' I ' , ' : ' . , , . ' , ' ! . , . i ' . ! , Free , Ci y Delivery Phone 40. . .J" . ; ' nr. , . . . : . . I _ It. 1 r , ' . . , . : ; . : : : . .1 , , . . . , . ' . , . j Storage for Household . ' i' and. Other Goods. I : ' . , " , , . . . ' Missouri Pacific Railway . . . " ' I It' - Time Table , Falls City , Neb : , _ . . " , NORTH . . . , . , " , . . 'o i. No. 51 Omaha and Lincoln Lxpress . . . . . ' . .1. ' . . . . ' . : . A'2:25'a : m' ' No. 9 Omaha and Lil1cohl 8:35 . . a . 111 No. . 57 Omaha and Lincoln . ' . . passengc . . . . . " . . . . . . . ' . . . . , A . " . ; 4'8'p rm N < ? , . 233.Loca1 Freight , Au- /1' . t' - ; . burn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A 1:10 : p ni , . . . . . . " J' , . . . . SOUTH . . . ; . . . \ No. 52 Kansas City and St. Louis and Denver . . . . . . A .3:47.a : 111 No. ,58 Kansas City and St. . ' LOis and Denver . . . . . . A 2:48 : p' m N .50 Worlds Fair special. . 8:45 : p 111 No. 232 Local , Atchison . , . 10:30 : a m No. 220 Stock Freight , Hi- ' awatha. ; . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A 9:52 : p ni' , A. Daily. . ; 'D.-Daily except Sunday. J. D. VARNIR , Agent. . .