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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (July 18, 1891)
T ! "H "PoPallAR PAPER oPA?PCRN -TIMES " 1 , M Voi. 6 No 32 Lincoln, N'umkaska, Saturday, July 18, laoi. F'KICIC IIVIC Oicnth .SSaSS n- SS" 0Wltf$LK Tlii'ii) ought to bo a law prohibiting tlio cuinnts of a Pullman lceicr from ettlnn up before kix o'clock in the morning, It liap peited to lie my luck tlu other tiny to strik j a car with it party of muti going for an out ing. They got up nt four oolock the next morning. They made remarks to each other nml took tlu wholo car Into confidence. Some of the remarks wore supposed to lie funny ami of courso the seakir's smnrttieHs linil to Imj recognized with a round of approv ing laughter. Politeness demanded at least tliat inucli from tlio other members of tlio party, and It did not matter that twenty other persons were disturbed and annoyed. Thny were tint In sight and there Is no law of courtesy that requires 6ihj to lw polite to a person not visible. This outing party was composed of middlo-ngcd business men and their conduct wbh a ioor comeutary on tho restraining Influences of socloty. Now that we oro In the lino swing of reform, It w to lw hojiod that tho next legislature will regulate this little matter. Kvery man Is entitled to have the world reformed to suit himself and I maintain my right to as many rights as otner jieopie. The national editorial convention met nt 8t. Paul this week. It was n remarkable gathering and not the least remarkable thing about it was. the attention showered upon the quill pushers. Chicago was a meeting point for tho editors of the east ami tho Chicago and Northwestern rallwuy took them to Ht. Paul In a special train of ten magnificent Pullman coaches. A southern group gather ed at Ht, Louis and the great Burlington route accorded its friends of the press simi lar handsome treatment in the matter of special treatment. This is but n sample of numerous courtesies. The association has a membership of 10,00(1 editors, but the con vention Is composed of about 600 delegates. Among Nebraska's delegates were tho editors of the Call and of the Couhikh. This meet ing Is not a mere picnic. For three ilays tho editors discuss questions of importance to the fraternity and tho brightest men from all parts of tho country contribute to this fund of information and experience. Many of tho delegates will take excursions arrang ed for them to tho Yellowstone park and to the Pacific slope. The summer resort business is in a bud way so far this season. Tho manager of a big summer hotel told mo tho other day thnt he was from three to four thousand In the hole thus far this season. Tho weather had been so cold and ilampthat eople would not lenvo homo and there was almost no business until last Saturday. We hear of the big profits made by tho mangers of summer ho-tels-when they make them but we seldom hear of the losses. Tho house referred to nbovo had been running three weeks nt an expense probably of two hundred dollars u day, and its guests had ranged from ten to forty only. That sort of thing is not a Rtuto of airalrs to be happy over cr to boast of, hence wo do not beur of tho misfortunes of the business as much as of the successes. Speaking of summer hotels, I saw a sum mer cottage the other day that hud u num ber of unique features. The most striking tiling about it was tho fact that straw mut was used for wall paper or for plaster, If you please. Instead of plaster and pajier on the walla and ceilings the frame work was cover ed with matting in a pretty red and white checkered design. It looked cool and lent color to the rooms and had tho ineiit of nov elty, and I presume, of cheapness. Through the center of this cottage was it big, wide, hall, as Jargo as a young dancing hall, and as there were four society girls in the family you may lie sure that it filled that purpose. The floor was thickly strewed with rugs, which of course could be removed with trifling trouble. At either end of the hall were doors, making u cooling draft blow through. The stairs to tho second story rose from the renr of the hall, at one side, uud tho walk nt the head of the stairs made n balcony overlooking the hall. It was not an clitbor nte house, but Its owner, an able lawyer, had evidently planned it for comfort und to suit his family, lieing u thinking man ho put originality into It without great expense. An article in an exchange gives an Inter view with a shoe dealer in which he exalts his trade after tho manner of men and ends with tho declaration that u person neatly shod will always appear well dressed, implying that tho remainder of his wearing apparel is of little concern. This may all bo true, but haven't you road a somewhat simi lar Interview In which u a Imtter maintain ed that a stylish bat was about all n man needed to look welll Haven't you seen simi lar claims set up for collars, for shirts, for skirts, for trousers, for cuffs, for neckwear J Isn't it about time for these gentlemen to bo a bit more modest in lioastlug their proton hlousf Or is It the enterprising interviewer who crowns their several stories with tho su preme excellence or arrogance! At any rate that sort of thing Is getting to lio very chest nutty mid It ought to bo culled In. Total abstinence is making progress. The proof of It comes In peculiar form. In some of tho largo cities tho givers of dinners have become so sensitive to public sentiment on this matter that they tire omitting wine from their tables, uud It is seriously projiosed to nccompnny Invitations to wlneless dinners with a mall Ihjw of blue ribtion securely fastened to tho card. When a total abstainer leceivesonoofthesoho will know that ho mt.y accept tho invitation without danger of hnving his self respect damaged by the looks of ungodly wlne-bibbers. On tho other hand gentlemen who tiro iossessed of convivial temperaments and habits will have a tip und may trump a plausible excuse for sending mm regrets, By nil means lot us have the blue ribbon nuil sort out tho sheep and tlio goals. The uhsorption of ten cent pieces by those aggravating dime saving banks goes on at an astonishing rate, and the tiling lias lie hveome a sot t of fad with some people. I have heard of one lady who has laid by ten of them, all loaded to the nozzle, making about llfty dollars she has stored away in tills manner. Hhe really shows symptoms of a monomania on the subject, audit Is quite possible the voracious little cylinders me cultivating miserly tendencies in a great many people. At any rate the drum on the circulating medium lias been so great that tho great government has felt It. Hereto fore the Philadelphia mint was the only one that coined dimes, but the demand for the llttlo shiners has become so great that tlio New Orleans mint has been ordered to turn out n lot of them. This affords u good ex ample of how far reaching may be a matter of apparently trilling Importance. Avarice becomes a passion rnthur than a passing fad, uud It may bo that the dimo bank has come to stny, but it Is safe to predict another nov elty ere many months, that will crowd It In to second placo In tho publlo eye; but what u people wo nro for novelties, mere trinkets designed to entlco the dimes and quartei s from our pockets and how thoy do sweep the whole country In their marchl What Is there about life in tents thut makes jieoplo sociable and tolerant I You may taken erson who Is severely diguilled mid distant In a civilized community, throw him among a lot of campers and In u few days he will become a pleasant, ompiiiiiouii ble animal of tho genus homo. The fellow who can resist tho genial influence of camp life is n sorry dog indeed, uud he hasn't a very good license to tho companionship of human beings. Hut what Is this insidious power Is it because life In the open, brings ull jHtrtlos down to u common level! It is human naturo for us to crave respect, defer ence, envy and adulation . In town these depend greatly on u man's bank account, on his business or iolltIcal affairs, on his oxclu slveness, on his affectation of style and of snporioiity. In a tent among the woods overy man is thrown on his merits ns an in dividual. The evidences of wealth and urro ganeohuveto bo left at home. Freed of these trappings and the petty distinctions of society, a man returns to u state of nature uud depends on personal qualities to win tlio good will of his fellows. The aristocratic mediocrity finds the penniless Hohcmiau is the bright, popular follow of the crowd and the genial influence stirs his soul to emula tion. At least that was about tho conclusion u party of us reached as b result of discuss ing personal oxHrieuces. Hutu most noticeable thing about this summer outing business Is the wuy in which women thaw out at these lesorts. They make acquaintance i with Tom, Dick und Harry in the most unconventional of ways, and lllrtund rump in u rather riotous man ner. At houiu they affect such a pink of propriety that u most desirable acquain tance muy wilt months for an oportuiio Inception according to Ironclad Tonus. It all looks so inconsistent, und for my part I do not understand how lovely woman quiets her conscience. Homo time ago a Nebruska City tudy decld eil to glvo a large reception und ordered In set Ibed upon her invitations tho letters "It. H. V. P.," still uufuuilliur to tiiuuy In the place. Her husband, an enterprising cloth ing merchant, picked up one of the dainty missives before they were ready for delivery, examined it critically, gave au exclamation of satisfaction and with a diabolical grin nit on his visage left tho house. But Imagine that woman's feelings when, upon the very day liefore her grand affair, she oo'ied tlio local paper to read this familiar advertise ment: J. B. BLANK & CO, Clothiers, At Home To their customers every day from 7 A. M. to 0 P. M. Sundays excepted. It. S. V. P. Heady made Huits, Vests and Punts But this explanation of the cabalistic let ters was not the only ones those luckless In vitations encountered. One lady stepped In to a neighbor's with un offeded till- uud asked: Are you going to Mrs- Hliu.k's recep tion to-morrowf" "1 expect to." replied her friend. "Well, I think this matter of taking presents Is going to fur. It's hud enough for weddings and unnlvoisarles, but If It's got to iw introduced Into purtles I, for one, shall set my feet down, and whatever they say, I will not iend over $6 for this thing tomor row that's Hat I" Her friend looked at her dazedly. "What do you meuiif" sho cried. "I've hoard nothing nbout presents." "You huveu'tf Well, Just look nt your invitation tho mobt Impudent thing. H. H. V. P. return some valuable present. Now what do you think of that for cheek f" Another ask ed asked a friend If sho was going early, add ing: "You'd bettor" "Whyf "Didn't you notice those letters f That means, re freshments Served very promptly, uud I tell you I menu to bo there on time." A fuiinv storv Is enlm the rounds nt tltu press of ai Omaha young lady who fou ml a iiurse-suo, ami wishing ror good luck placed it under lier pillow with her false teeth! In the morning in the hurry of dressing she sub stituted tho shoe for tho teeth and wore It sometime before the mistake was discovered, V Abraham Llucoln must, by future genera tlous which read the story of his life not yet altogether made, be regarded us one of the most unique churticters in history, says tho Now York Herald. Even to those who by force of circumstances were most In his com pany be was over developing a new side. Grim, revengeful Htanton, his war secretary, never quite knew how to take him. Stanton was for exterminating such elements ns dar ed to usk questions. It is related that once homo one hud refused to understand an or- der, or at nil events, had not obeyed. "1 be lieve I'll sit down," said Htanton, "and give that man a piece of my mind." "Do so," said Lincoln, "write him now, while you have It on your mind. Make it sharp; cut him all up." Htanton did not need a second Invitation It wus a bone-cruncher that ho read to the president, "That'll right," mild Abe, "that's u good one." "Whom can I got to send it by I" mused tho secietarv. "Send ttl" loplfed Lincoln; "send It! Why don't semi It at all Tear It up. You novr want to send such letters; I never do. " What It lines. Hood's Harsaparllla 1. Purilles tho blood. '-'. Creates un appetite 'I. Htrongthoiis thonetves. 4. Makes tho weak strong. 6. Overcomes that tired feeling, tl. Cures scrofula, salt rheum, eto. 7. Invigorates tho kidneys nml liver. H. Hollows headache, Indigestion, dyscp-sla. Dr. C. F. L'idd, dentist, 1106 O street. Telephone 163. OMIco hours tin, in. to op. in. Flannel shirts denned without shrinking by the French dry cleaning process, only 1ft els. nt Lincoln Htenm Dye works, 1106 O street. Colmcctionh In and out of the city at tended to, Hents collected, Houses leased and Estates managed. II. N. Wossol, Notary Public, room ) Ittn olock, llth and N sts. Bicycles of nil kinds und all makes skill fully repaired on short notice. Wrenches, oil cans, tires and other supplies always ror sale at Oeorgo & Fishetto, 144'J O street. Timely AiUlru. Now is the time to provide yourself und family with u reliable remedy for IhiwoI complaints. It is almost certain to be need ed, uud no family can afford to be without it. It costs but ii trltlo and miy be the menus or saving much suffering, If not life. There are many different remedies in use, but Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar rhoea Hemedy Is undoubtedly the best. 'Si and 60 cent bottles for sale by Chas. C. Heed, Druggist. Call on Henry Harpham, 14'J north Elev enth street, opjiosito Capital Hotel for lly nets, summer lap robes and carriage whips. Be hliru llllll trv rll4i.ru tl'vnmlinr Vut coal. Best in the market, price 4.40 deliv ered by Geo. A. Haymer. Telephone iWU, jiu-f j nireei. Our work euks for Itself. It needs no brag or bluster, simply your own opinion will testify to ts merits. The Htlldio Le Grnndo is on the ground Door, centrally lo eitUd and a beautiful place. Call and see us at l'-N south Twelfth street. Jillck nml Comfortable Trip, Two new trains nave lieeii added to the al ready excellent connections east that th i Grent Hock Island Houte has been offering to its patrons. The Lake Shore & Mich. Southern has put on u new- train, leaving Chicago daily at 10: ISO a. m., and the Fort Wayne (Pennsylvania Lines), one at 10:46 a. in. These are dullv trains, schedule,! on fust. ' time, ami nrrlve nt New York City next af I teruoou at - o'clock, and via the first inon j t (uned Boston passengers reach their destlna tluii tmt J hours later. The Hock Island Houte Sleeper loaves Omaha dally at 4:!0 p. in., and arrives at Chicago ut 8:06 a.m., In time to make tills important through connection. For rates nml tickets npply to J. L. Dk Bkvoih, Gen'l Agent Puss. Dept., Kith & Furuiim Sis,, Omaha. J No. Hkiiastian, Gen'l Tkt. & Pus. Agt. E. St. John, Gen'l .Manager. Stc our beautiful Individual ice cream moulds before ordeiiug elsewhere. "Tho Finest" ISJ0 O street. Are Yon Interested! The following frank statement Irom J K. Hure of Trenton, Texas, will be of interest to many of our citizens. "My little boy wm very bad off for two months with diarrluea. We used various medicines, nisi filled in two doctors, but nothing done him tiny good until we used Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Dlarrlui'i Hemedy, which gave Imme diate relief uud soon cured him, I conslder it tlio best medicine made uud can ooii'cien tioiisly recommend ft to nil who need u diar rlupii or colic medicine. For sale by Chas. C. Heed, Druggist. Henry Harpham, soils good harness for good money, also poor harness for good money. The Whltebreast Coal and Lime company Is nlwtiys at the front supplying the finest grades of all kinds of coal Kyu nml Kur Surgeon. Dr. W. L. Dayton, oculist and aurist, liSM O street, telephone 1176, Lincoln, Nebr. Never order a photograph or picture of any kind until you have seen the work done at the new Studio Le Grande, 121 south Twelfth street. Hea llatlilui; l,lt)0 Miles from t lie Sea, at (lurllelil Hvat-li. The famous health resort, Garfield Beach, on Great Salt I.ake, eighteen miles from Salt Lake City, Is reached via the Union Pacific, "Tho Overland Houte," and is now open. This is the only real sand beach on Great Salt Iako, and Is one of the lliust bathing uud pleasure resorts in the West. For complete description of Gnrfleld Beach and Grent Salt Lake, send to K. L. Loitiax, Gen'l Pass., and Ticket Agent, Oninlta, for copies of "Sights and Scenes In Utah," or "A Glimpse of Great Salt Ijike," or apply at 1011 0 street. E. B. Slossou, City Ticket Agent. a slight Ennon. If He Had Only Kept Unlet It Wnnlit Have lleen All UlubU "Do you see that foreign looking follow In tho seat opposite usr'' nsked a comfort nblu looking inun In tho smoking ear of a Michigan Central train tho other day. "Yes," replied his sent mute "What About hlin!" "Tlint'd what Pin going to tell you all about him." "Do yon know hlinf" "Never hiiw him before, but I've always mndu It n practice to milieu people wlion I trnvel, und seculiito as to who they nro, what they are, where they've lieeii, und nil that. Ily George, I can slr.o n man up In great shape. You notice that fellow's grizzled beard uud rntlu'i-refined features V "Y-ycs. "You see that ho Is entirely occupied with thu periodical lie has In his hands doesn't notice anything going on In the carr" 'SeoinB to bo looking nt thu pictures." 'Exactly You notice what tho publl. cation Is. Can you read tho tltlo from tuorof" "An art magazine, Isn't tit" "Yes. Now, you sou that big flat parcel tnndlug on the sent beside hiitif" "I sco; looks llko n big atlas." "It Isn't. You notice tho mnn'a careless dress, his stained hands, his dilapidated slouch hatr" "Yes." "And you have no Idea yet what he is!" "Can't nay I have. Ho doesn't nppear to bo an ordinary traveler exactly." "He's an artist. A typical nrtlst oor but industrious. Ho lives up In tho state somewhere, und he's been to thu city to get a canvas for u now picture That's It on tho seat that Mat parcel, lie's bought a copy of the magazine and he's engrossed In tho atiiily of It. Now, Just for fun, I'm going to prove tho correctness of my diag nosis." Ho loaned over und touched thu sleeve of tho mini opposite. "Er uxcuso mo, sir," he said, "but your face seems very familiar. I've boon trying to place you." The man looked ut him wotidorlitgly, us though ho did not understand. "If I'm tiot mistaken," continued the questioner, "you arc tin nrtlst. Don't you live up in thu Interior of the state some where! I forgot uxactly where I've seen you." Tho man raised his eyebrows slightly. "Llvo lu Detroit," ho said. "Well, you are uu artist a painter!" Ha pointed to tho flat parcel. The other man looked serious. He pulled the paper away from the edge of the parcel and disclosed a dozen lights af glass. "Glass-n-put-ln imiu," ho said, pointing to himself. Mo-fi-put in a glass go to Saginaw. SeoP1 Just then the train boy came along gath ering up his literature, uud ils ho took away the art publication which tlio Italian had licen lingering the comfortable looking mnn with u bullied smile shifted himself back iuto his own sent, remarking as lie did so: ''If I'd let the muti alone It would have been all right." Detroit Free Press Couldn't Cutch Ulin. Melssonier, like many other celebrities, hod a passion for gardening, His gardener, un accomplished botanist, knew to per fection tho seeds of overy plant, nml Mels sonlor had often tried In vulu to throw him off his guard "This tliuo I've got him," the nrtlst re marked to a party of friends ut tho dinner tablo, and he showed them u small packet containing thu dried roe of ti herring, lis then sent for the gardener "Do you know this seed?" Molssonlor In quired. Tho gardener carefully scrutinized the grains. "Why noO" ho said, at lust. "Thoy tiro tho seeds of the tolpiis lluscl mus, a very rare tropical plunt." "How long will thoy lw In coming up!" Melssonier asked, with a chuckle of suit pressed exultation. "About u fortnight," wus the reply. Two weeks later the guests were again assembled nt Melssoulor's tablo, und after dinner the gardener was announced. "XI. Melssonier," the man wild, "the seed mis Just come up." "Ahl you surprise mo!" the artist ex slalmod us ho rose ami led tho way into tho garden to examine the botanical phetiom enon The gardener lifted u glass shade and disclosed to view a small bed with three rows of pickled herrings' heads peeping out of the earth Everybody laughed. Melssonier dismissed the gardener on the 8t)Ot. btlt took him on ULmln thn imrt. ilnv Etolle Delgo. The liiiiiiinlcul Mmi. As oft us he can, Tho married man. Must bu suro to go to the game: But If his iliiunhtcr 6hould ask for a quarter. He'll tltn) her much to blame. And his iKr wife Must look for strife. If sho hints at the mutlnee; He'll stamp and swear. And then declare, He's no motior to fool away. But him you'll see, At the hour of three, Goltik' out to suo tho game. He has no cash To waste, on trash. But ho guts there just the same. -Hultlmoro American. Chapter I: Weak, tired, no apietlte. Chapter:.': Take Hood's Sursaparlllu. Chapter 0: Strong, cheerful, hungry. Henry Hurpliam, harness, saddlery and turf goods, 14'J north Eleventh street, opi White Capital Hotel. Buy con) mined near your home. .No wens tie Nut Is conceded by all thnt hnvo used It to bo the best for kitchen use. Price f 1. 40 de livered. Sold only by Geo. A. Rnymer. Tel ephone :SW,' 113IO street. JsHsLvsLssVsVflLwjtsjv Tho Lincoln club went to Omaha last week and to thnsurpilse of everybody murccdnl lit winning Saturdays game. Then people begun to think that wo hud sit nek n winning gait again and there were coiilldnut prtslle lions that we would lake IhiIIi of Sundays' gaines, Hut we didn't Ever body was surprls,sl again. First, Itimch who had Just been roliistatisl after a couple of week's sus pension 1 1 lisl his hand with the ball, but his arm had lost Its cunning and we tost the Hist game by a wore of 111 to 4. Elteljorg was lu the box for the Omaha club and from an Omaha standpoint he was erfootly satis factory, Dave's pels showed unmistakable signs of n plctunwqiio Jamboree nml some of them grnbbisl ut bulls as though they had 'em1 Itayinond was mrtlcularly leery and after a short trial he was put on the bench and Stafford substituted. There were two reasons w liy the Omaha club won, First: they played the best ball; second: our men had not stilllelently recovered from their liquid Jollification; Elteljorg fanned three men out, Hoacli one. In the second game O'Duy relieved Iloach and Dad Clarke suc ceeded Elteljorg. This time thef score was I to 1 In tho other fellows' favor. It was n toss up ns to who pitched the Itest ball; but in un unlucky moment Lincoln got rattled mid Omaha did the rest. Monday Kansas City ciiiiio to Lincoln, and the Cowboys have hud an iutoiestliig visit. Ehret olllolated the Hist day and Darnbrough tried to show his former In etlu en that ho could flitch. His endeavor, however, wasn't very successful, Ehret's win k Jttstlllul all that has Imcii said iff him, H he didn't win the game nil by himself he was largely responsible for Liu coin's victory. Tho score was It tail. To sum up the gaiuu briefly the Kansas City club played the kind of n game that Lincoln has been putting up lately before Davecom inenced filling thelioys und Lincoln well wo played hull for it change. Ensile umpired and his wot k wus a welcome change. In the Judgment or u greut many jieoplo ho Is the lst umpire lu the Western association. There was u second tussle Tuesday with a like result. O'Day had his pitching cloth h on and our Iwys helng sober ami In good trim settled down and played to win uud they won. if there had been any object in it we might have secured twnuty-llvu runs: but we didn't need them, so we only took II, uud we generally let the other rellows have I. Smith and Johnson took turns in pitching ror the visitors. Wednesday's game was wry luterestlng.tlie score wus Lincoln U, Kaunas City 1. Owing to the fact thnt tho Omaha club disbanded this week, there was no gnmo yesterday. Equally wife for young or old, Ayer's Hnr saparilhi cleanses the hloud from all Impuri ties. WllKsr Oiiant HAII), "We will light It outf on this lino if it takes all summer," ho proba bly refered to tho "Burlington," us every btMiy knows it is tho only "lino" worth light ing for in this part or the country. (,'iialiniHii I'ark Speelnl Trains. Until further notice. II. k M. tmlnu will run us follows between Lincoln uud Ctlsli- mini park. HViiirsifii l,envo Lincoln 7:!t() '-m, uud return from Ctishmuti at 1 1 i--m. .StihtiilniiH U-iivo Lincoln at '.JiiKi i'-ii nml retui ii from Cmhiuan ut S i-m. SiiiiiIiiii Iahwu Lincoln at KhilO am, ',':"0 l'-5t. :i:.'U) . llllll ftt.'lll l-.M- L.tlirnlin. ' from Ciishimiu at II a-m, :i p-m, 6 imi and (I 1 r-.M. iiiiiI S:ito I--M. Hegular train No. 71 leaving Lincoln at l:'J0 l' it dally except Sunday wlllalso stop at Cushmiiii, li'Mioriug tickets, lotltid trip rate of 16 cents will apply to all. loiitlilleiin i:iiriiieiui I'm-,, l'reiirtliiu, Ladles, If you want most elcunut fncetireii- anitlon, try this one. It Is pure as spring water; no lead, sediment or other Injurious substances. It makes your skin soft, fresh, and clear; removes tan, blotcln-s, discolora tious, and ImpaiU a eaiiy complexion. If your face is not what you desire It, try "Youtbileuii". I guarantee It to give erfift satisfaction. I have sought for a prepara tion that will make complexions fresh ami young looking and now! hnvo found It, re tailed at two dollars or three for live. I have secured the agency for this tiusiy article. J. H. Haiilkv. Druggist, I turolu, NVb. Brown's re-tuutauts, Windsor htwk, 'JIIJ north Eleventh street, and I lib O street. Five dollar commutation tickets reduced to four dollars, good at lioth places. Almost Caught. SInglcton-I asked Miss Passe, point blank, her age last night. Sho said she wouiutii ion me, nut she would write it on u sheet of paper if I'd sign my name to It. Ueuedlct Well, what Is borage? "I didn't llud out. The paper she pro duced wus it marriage license." Uoston News. Proper Implements. Dasliawtty I want you to como over to my literary society, old man. Cleverton-AU right. Shall I wear u I dress suit 1 Ditshaway No. Hut bring nlotig au ex tra pack of cards. Clothlernud Furnisher. A Lnmo Excuse. Mother Whatl You don't mean to say that the lieutenant has been hero all the afternoouf Haven't I forbidden you to re main alone In the company of gciitleiucur Daughter Why, ma, there wus uulyouo! Huinorlstlscho Blatter. She Was Thankful. Waitress (to landlady)-Oh, ma'am, Mr. Spit 11 re has left the tablo hi a rage. Landlady I'm glad of thatl It's the first thing I over knew him to leave. De troit Free Press. "CLUBS ARE TRUMPS." Wiltten for iliu CoiiiiKii, Life never stands still, it Is said, though It makes u mighty close matter of It lu Squash vllle, where everything Is iff such niurhlo llke rigidity and liilloxlhln diameter that wo gel to thinking what Is will be roroer. Hut it new eta has ilawnid ami the smooth sur face of tlio mai ble will Im cracked, not brolo en, by somo mild forms of dissipation ; u row llshing parties, a festival or two, a Woman's Itellnf Cotpse, supiM'f, eto. Anything In tlio shape of eating stt ikes light homo lu Hqimsh. vllle, ns the name ludlcaliK. Whether the corpse will effect the supper m any way, I liavobeeii tinablo to asceitnln, I, with my accustomed meekness, mentioned It In tlio vlllnge nml found I had committed one of my big bluudeis. Lot It pass. Those tiro merely Incidents not to be noticed lu com parison with "Froth and Foam", for In ad dition to the above startling events, an ac quaintance said, "l.et's have it club." We were not nt the tlitin playing whist, uud I, (iHilug naturally very thick headed) did not Instantly understand, but ns soon ns lgrasp isl It, (the Idea, iiottlieclub) I groaned, "why not u switch, It would Imi lighter to carry,' uud the mercury absolutely stationary at 110 In tho house; but 1 gave the sulijisit my warmest consideration. I slept, and my last thought wits a club; I woke and u club con fronted my eyes; In the midst of household duties, something swung constantly over my head, usviidcd In mid nlr. Wus It a sword of the Damuclcau tyief With affrighted start I clutched tho monster. 'Twus a club. Would It had fallen uud tieon reduced to the lowest denomination of compound fractions. That will happen eventually, for the raising of a club but heralds It's fall, But anything for ts'iiee If It takes all summer! Wo con cluded a little harmless fttti might lie possi ble, oven ir wo were iuudispiute ror any thing heavy, mi we made the club iff light, very light timber, something seasonable, und calhsl It "Froth nml Foam." Wo met we partnl but not In teats. The first meeting was pisirly represented, ns I expected, and ns we nro too honorable, lo make assessment without representation, we barely paid ex M.'iiscs. Considering the time or year, some very brilliant remarks were uinde. One ot our number was chosen to lead Hhukescnre's hcutttirul ode to Dr. Talniage, lu which im;-. curs the Hues; "A man convinced ugalurt his will Is of the same opliibn still." Two members had the temerity to under take nu argument on the will; notwithstand ing tho mert-iiry had reached the top of the tills) and was falling in rounded globules of sliver to the Moor beneath. Betsey Johnson, u rental knbly verbose fe male, claimed it an IniMissible condition of mind; that no one could Isiujuvinced of an opinion nml nt the same time hold an op M)slte one. Dolorosa Llmbklit, equally ver bose, insisted nml stood prepared to prove that a person could lie convinced against his will A K-iico maker, having seen the pro verbial durability or female argument fully cxciiiplllled on runner occasions and smell ing danger, came to tlio res 'lie and saved the chili touiMirarlly by advising the belligerents to liy the subject on or under tho table till the mercury returned to the bulb; and In tlio meantime, to compi utilise on Saiiiue Buthr's much more sensible lines ns follows: "Ho that complies against his will Is of his own opinion still." Motion approved, seconded and carried. Ho tho dissemination of opinion by these as pirants for logical deductions etc., wnsrrost bltten by ISO degrees or mercury lu tho shade mid the will remains In statu quo ante hel ium. However, the jrld will still go on Just the same. There Is to much Informa tion anyhow. Tls time Ut call a halt uud re duce the volume. Itillntlou Is getting too much for us. If, us I fear, our club, being lioth light and combustible, Is consumed while passing through the orlllinnine tff fiery splendor to which we are at pi went subject ed, I will upprlse you or It's deml.e ami bid you to the ohseiule. H It liven, wo will trv uud uscertuiu whether one cun be convinced I against his will. Ckickkt. j The well known llrin ot Small and Wal i luce have dlsolved partnership and In ruture mo iiiisiness win no conducted by Mr. Small and will be known as Small's Htenm Laun dry. New and cotuinodlom quarters have been secured lu the nowly completed three story brick block at 'JOH-SOIC O street, where they will remove In the course iff a few days. The business will ! personally siqiervlsed by .Mr. Hmiill who Ims had many yentsol experience In the laundry business, huh in u.iscuy nun the east, and having purchased almost an entire new plant und employing only the tno-t eHleiic uud skillful labor that can be hud, will Im able to riirnlsh lietter woik than any of their eoni jietltors. In order to uecommisluto their numerous patrons, they have established a downtown olllce at IlKn north Eleventh street where all work and orders may be left. They have also procured two addition al wagons and trls will bo made dally for collections and delivery or goods. Having the Is-st facilities available they are esscial ly desirous of nrociiklnif hull.-, tln 1-,,,-m..,,,., r ni iin inn and guarantee all work to lie perfectly satis factory. Call them up. Telephone 670. Not a C'ltUeit of Lincoln can afford tombs tho comfort ami safety offered him by the North Western Line (F. E. ,t M. V. im.) In his travels to and Iroiii Chicago and all eastern points. It is tho direct Hue to St. Paul, Minneapolis, ui;iiinii, OTiiuie, incoiun, and all other Miu llesota, Washington uud Montana points. All passengers tor these isiints go through without dejKit transfer Patronize the North Western and avoid omnibus transfers. It Is thoonlyall rail Hue to that Sanatiiriuui of the world, the Hot Springs of South Pakos ta ami the direct Hue to ltapid City, Dead wood and Black Hills Klnts. To all thoso contemplating a ti Ip the coming season It of fers a dliect lino and service, to till the re sorts of Wisconsin, Minnesota nml Northern Michigan. The lluest fhhltig grounds In the world are leached by this line. For rates and information, call at I KG O street. W. M. Siiipmax, Gen'l Ag't, J. T. M.vhm, City Tk't Ag't. . i JA