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About Capital city courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1885-1893 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1891)
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FoPallAR mPER -oP AVPDERN TIMES "
Vols. G No. a 3
Lincoln, Nhhiuska, Saturday, July liO, 1(301.
F"UIOIC FlVtfi OlCNTS
Victor Rosewater, anon of tho alitor of
the Omaha lice, has written nil ItitorcKthiR
letter describing Fattl'swstle In Wales, and
relate how lie came to dunce with the dlu.
It Is probable that I'attl will Ik) heard In
America asaln next winter, Although she
demands $50tK a night and will not utter m
ttote until the money has been paid over, two
managers are trying to make nn engagement
with her. Marcus Mayer luu olTcrcil her
her price to sing two numbers each evening
In a series of concerts. Maurice Orau wanfo
her to head a grand aiern company, find
tells her It woukl look like a oonfeeslon of old
age to take to the concert stage. Mow I'attl
resents any Insinuation that she Is losing her
grip, but at the name time she loves to toko
life easy If there Is a much money in It.
Mayer Is alio wild to have wore Influence
with her than any other manager, and it
seems likely that she will appear In concert.
That deems to bo the Impression iliat young
llosewater got while visiting the songstress.
Of course the teachers at tho national con
vention In Toronto had a bout at reform In
snelliiiK Ennllsh words. They talked and
talked and talked, and of course that Is al' it
amounted to. The telegraph tells us they
spelled step s-t-e-p and hen h-o-n, but when
they put the two (words together and wade
Htephen there was great laughter. Of course.
It is easy enough to oint out the inconsist
encies of English orthography, but where U
the remedy! What Is the use of ringing the
changes on dough, plough, through, tough,
etc) It has lieen done, a million times, more
or less, but that doesn't help matters. Al
most everyone admit the desirability of pho
netic selling, and tho moat practical thing
the teacher's or philological socletioM cuu do
is to olfer a reward for a scheme to fusuro its
adoption. I said "almost anyone" because
there are a few egotistical pendants who
want tho old forms retained so that they
may trace English words back to their Greek
or J.atln roots. These old fogies dearly lovo
to impress the world with the profundity or
their learning, but like any other snob they
ought to get out of the road of progress.
What Is that sense which leads men to do
disagreeable, dtfllcult and even dangerous
things In the line of duty that they cannot be
coaxed or bribed into doing otherwise f How
often does an employer vainly try to er
suade an employee to do something out-of-hours
at an exorbitant price that he will will
ingly do in the ordinary routine of duty for
u trills? Every person who bos hud occasion
to deal much with men must have been
struck with this peculiarity in human nature.
The delegates to the nutlonul convention of
the Young People's Society of Christian En
deavor held at Minneapolis probably notion!
J. W. Baer, tho national secretary. He Is u
handsome fellow with the pleasant maimer
and iersoual magnetism which nuike so
many men popular. Hut what a change In
the young muu. A few jenis ago ho was
connected with a society paper in Iowa, and
wus a shining light in social circles. While
ho was not wicked or wild, ho did not object
ton little (-port or u jolly flirtation. He
married the daughter of Mr. Van Dusen, the
grain king of Minnesota, and took charge of
father-in-law's coal department at the head
olllce in Rochester, Minn. The llrm hud ele
vators at eighty railroad statlous on thu line
of the Northwestern railroad from Winona
to the Missouri river in South Dakota. Each
of the agents sold coul as well us bought
grain. It wits Ilaer's duty to see that the
ngentH were supplied with coul and to look
ufter their reports. The coal came to Wino
na in train loads and he designated how it
should bo distributed. The concern was so
largo that it thought nothing of buying coal
in fr.'fO' 000 lots. liaer had an assured position
with a handsome salary, not to iiientUii the
prospect of a big fortune from his father-in-law,
but ho chose to lay it aside to take thu
secretaryship of the Y. P. S. C. E which
carried him to Boston. Having known him
I can understand how the nurrow life and
small round of duties In a little town became
irksome to him and he longed for the active
life and larger sociability of a city.
Boer, by the way, went through the torna
do which destroyed two or three huudred
houses In Rochester ten years ago. He was
Hat on bis back right in the path of the
storm demon, but It jumped over hi house,
smashing those on both sides of him. Home
good souls may regard this as a providentlul
Interposition to save him for tho work he is
engaged in, but I cannot help thinking,
What about the hundred other persons who
Among the guests at a social utTulr the
other evening was a well known lady whoso
husband hud died within the six months.
She was a looker-on at the gayety, but she
gently urged her young daughter to join the
other young people In their dancing. Of
course there were people who criticised this
as Improper because the fashionable period
of mourning had not expired. It occurs to
me that this Is a place where charity of opin
ion might join common sense and keep cap
tious mouths closed. Society has preicribed
sombre clothing and abstlnenco from amuse
ment as befitting those who have lost a dear
one. But these are only forms and prove
nothing. It does not follow that the observ
ers of these forms feel as truly bereaved as
others who do not make an ostentatious show
of the trappings of woe. Why should the
world judge of the reverence you or I feel
for a departed one by the blackness of our
clothing or the solemnity of our conduct!
What right have other people to pass judg
ment on us In such a matter! Simply the
right which moral cowardice gives to lm)e
tluence and intolerance, To tell the truth I
admire the lady who has made a text for
this item, 1 know that she and her daughter
dearly loved the husband and father who
has gone tefom and revere his memory, hut
the mother has an Intellect that rises above
the etty bonds of tashlonnblo dictum
The dally pajwrs recently contained an ac
count of the death of a young man w hose de
mise wus attributed to thu use of cigarettes.
As might havo been uxiiected, the journals
which consider humanity's progress ami
welfare as their especial trust have hurst out
Into denunciations of the pernicious practice
of smoking cigarettes. 1 have su.mi suveial
thousand men, young and old, pulTat tliu lit
tle paper tut, but I cannot truthfully say
that I know of one who Is tho worse for It.
I have a moral certainty, however, that a
big percentage of these men are doomed to
pay sevcro penalties, because these newspa
pers have told mo so. They have demon
strated to their own satisfaction that no one
can smoke cigarette without direful results,
and It eems to be only a question of time
when all mokers of this klud will dlo off.
This state of affairs is really alarming. If It
continue much longer there will be no men
lef t to die of drunkenness and oint a terri
ble example. Even Consumption, that vigi
lant and Industrious sleuth hound, Is liable to
run out of material. This cigarette habit is
a curse to the race and it ought to be curbed
to give the other curses a chance to earn
These politicians are' great fellows for
springing sensations. Now they propose to
elect a governor this fall with the idea that
ho will step Into olllce and displace Gov.
Thayer until the next regular election in
1802. Unfortunately for the scheme thoro
are several difllculties in the way. In tho
llrst place the constitution provides that tho
governor fchall be elected in even numbered
years. It also provides that his vote shall be
canvassed by the legislature, but there would
have to be a special session to curry out that
provision next winter. No one but Gov.
Thayer can convene the special session, and
of course he would not le a party to cutticg
his own otllcial throat. The fact of the mat
ter Is thae the constitution never contemplat
ed the election of a governor between times.
If u vacancy were to occur now In one of tho
other state offices it would be tilled by the
governor by appointment, but nt the election
next fall a new olllcer would bo elected to
llll the place for the unexpired term. Hut
there is ho similar provision relative to
the governorship. In the case of u va
cancy the lieutenant governor steps In.
That Is what he is elected for, chleliy. To
still further guard against an interregnum
tho constitution still further provides that In
case of tho death or disability of both gover
nor and lieutenant governor the speaker of
the house of representatives shall act as the
chief executive. The K)liticians must have
something to gossip about, the same as other
eople, and perhaps we ought not to be too
severe on them.
Judge Fetcrby said to his colored servant.
"You will have to quit. You attend to
four work very well, but I am always miss
ng things about the house, and every time
It Is you that takes them."
"Boss, don't send me off on dat account.
Hit must be a cumfurt ter yer when yer
missing anything ter know right whar it
am." Texas Sittings.
Sketches from natklnivlll University.
THE DASEDALL NINE.
Why It Is Popular.
Because it has proven its a solute merit
over and oyer again, because it has an un
equaled record of cures, because its business
Is conducted in a thoroughly honest maimer,
and because it combines economy ami
strength, being the only medicine of which
"100 Doses One Dollar" is true the-e strong
points have made Hood's Sarsnparllla the
most successful medicine of the day.
All sorts of souvenir spoon. Sixxms for
coffees, spoons for tens, spoons for after din
ner coif ees und spoons for oranges. In fact
spoons for every use and all as neat, nobby
THE OLEE CLUB.
and pretty as ever leftu Jeweler case. There
Is something awfully pretty In orange spoon.
On one side of the howl Is a siw edge, the
other side plain. This Is somewhat of a de
parture from the general stylo and it takes
well. You don't know what n handsome line
of souvenir skoii that Lincoln contains un
til you havo seen Eugene iiallutt's beautiful
Written Corfu K Co DIM Kit.
The wolf was knocking at the door. I can
hardly refrain from saying he had knocked
lieforc, hut that would ho running into poe
try: and tho editor has said it must be prone,
I knew theie w-ere brilliant gems burled burs
led within me, (deeply burled), so I cast aside
my timidity, which has been my iiilu, and
wrote to a prominent publisher, asking if I
could le of any use to him in his Hue of bus
iness. The answer came speedily, (I had
told him about the wolf.) "Why ceitalnly
madam, you can help us and we should like
to help you;'' (a game of reciprocity you ob
serve) "Just cond something original, somo
now thoughts, your btter was quite spicy."
I ondcred on the task Imposed in exchange
for the ducats. ''Oilglnal", "Home new
thoughts." Home great writer has written
that our present originality Isj but the thresh
ing over again of old straw. My eorresxnd
ent was an eastern man. If he hail been on
the broad and expansive (should be written
exiensive) prairies of the west, Inhaling vast
whiffs of nature's elixir, ho would know the
very evident fact that originality was de
ceased and buried lieyond any hope of future
resuscitation. Another Item wanted, was
"something new and bright about noted peo
ple". You remember he complimented my
letter; people always do. He felt In uti In
stant I was bright. I am but new bright
ness. Ah I That Is another thing. The
brightness of today Is simply the brightness
of yesterday tiollshed up a little. Don't
Charles D. Warner say everything has lieen
told! All' topics touched iqionf Why don't
he say exhausted! as far us any freshness is
concerned. He says the jokes on noted ho
pie have Iteen with us from the beginning,
brought out at intervals uud titled to new
weureis. I have read a joke or two in his
budget, that were related in our family us
lielonglng to ourselves. However, 1 agree
with him Originality is a myth, more
mythical than heathen mythology. It Is the
inuuuer that preserves ufter till; uud I say if
one can take mi old thought in a pluiti dingy
garb one that has been worn thread-bare
uud clothe It allow in such an active manlier,
us to muke it remembered, he is a beucfuctor,
not only to the original producer, but the
present era. 1 will tell something original
right here. Now that there never was a
Helen or Troy, what matters it! In a grad
uating class u young lady read a good essay
on "Beautiful Women." At one stage of the
proceedings she let Helen fall ill the arms of
her lover, Priam. I claim thut us u new
idea about a noted iiersou. Diamonds, pearls
and ull the gems hud lieen used but not one
had oiK'lied a mine uud reduced thu business
to dollars. "Eureka" she cried, "I shull
have tlie ideu patented;" "I shall put a fence
around that;" Hut alas, ulusl Uuiure the
fence was built she enjojed the Incompara
ble pleasure of reading "Ies Miserable," mid
there lucked away lu a snug corner wus her
coined thought. She had novel reail thu
book, nor even thu thought in print; so when
two or more have the sumo thought, who
owns It! Oncu upon a time I tiled writing
some Hues to lit a favorite melody; Ono
staua of another song stuck In my head.
It wus "iierfumo sandaled feet." 1 tiled all
other kind of feet lu vulii except thirteen
feet, that 1 felt would lie certain death.
Even Chicago feet fulled. 1 turned to an ad
miring audience and told them I would have
to Iku row tho line in question; it Just fitted
tho accent of tho music I bonowed it, en
closed it In quotation murks, had it printed,
had it complimented. Home time after, wus
reading Virgil found it almost exact, How
to the song 1 hud robbed to see if it wus a
quotation. I found quotation marks were
very conspicuously absent. And, Is not a
woman getting ready to prove "Looking
Backward" a fraud! She things it lienrs en
tirely too strong a resemblunce to "Woman
In the past, present and future," written
years ago by a germau author, August Bebel.
No, thoro is no originality. The eastern
man may have thought wo would wander
about between durk and daylight In search
of toothsome morsels sweetened by tho dews
of heaven; but not so. Wo opened tho door
and let the wolf lu. Originality is too
source und exeuslve for poor folks. In cons
elusion is ther anything original (except
Helen of Troy) In this! If not adieu for tho
Ayer's Sursuparllla, operutlng through thu
blood, eradicates the scrofulous taint.
Dr. O.K. Ludd, dentist, 1105 O street.
Telephone 1KJ. Olllce hours I) a. m. to 5 p. m.
Never order a photograph or plcturo of
any kind until you havo seen the work done
at the now Studio Lo Grande, 1 1 south
Ulcyeles of all kinds and nil makes skill
fully repaired on short notice. Wrenches,
oil cans, tires and other supplies always (or
sale at George & Flshetto, l-U'J O street.
Be sure and try eastern Wyoming Nut
coul. Best lu the market, price -1.40 deliv
ered by Geo. A. Raymer. Telephone !W0,
1134 O street.
Now is the time to provide yourself and
family with a reliable remedy for iwwel
complaints. It is almost certain to be need
ed, anil no family can afford to be without
it. It costs but a trifle and may be thu
means of saving much suffering, it not life.
There are many different remedies in use,
but Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy Is undoubtedly the liest. 'Si
and M cent bottles for sale by Chas. C. Reed,
Kojunku plajcd to small houses Tuesday
and Wediicduy evenings hut the audiences
were Isith appreciative and demonstrative,
approval lielng shown by ficquelit applauses.
The scenery In tvujunka is of a very high
order and much of it very novel and pictur
esque. The work of tho company is far
above that of the average s-K-ctnculnr pro
duction and had the engagement been nt any
other season of the yei-r, thu business would
hive Iweu much larger. It wns thotlrst up
Karnuce of the piece hi Lincoln mid tho
record made this wi-ek will servo as un ex
cellent gmi'nutee and a good advertisement
for Knjiinka on Its next engagement.
Thursday evening Thatcher's minstrels
ailed' Willi Ulch mid Harris' Comedy
company held the boards at Funke's and
proved thu strongest drawing oird of the
sumniur season. It was a large audience and
nearly every sent In tho thentro was taken.
The bill was something new uud thoicrform
mice the llrst given on uy stage. The Idea
of liiierinliigllng comedy diama, und min
strelsy Is u novelty and it certain alterations
are made, it may prove n big success. The
play In its entirety is titled "Tuxedo", tho
first act opening as regular society comedy,
Introducing u minstrel llrst part lu
thu second act and finishing with the llnalu
to the play in the last act. It has a sem
blance of thread but of course this is lost
sight of during act two. Hiighy Dougherty
uud Goorge Thutcher are tho strong male
characters while Llrrle Derlus Daly, Ida
Fitzhugh and Blanch Huydoii creditably
represented the liest of the female artists.
Raymond Moore, the very clover tenor made
thu vocal hit of thu evening. Ills sweet se
lections winnlne the gieatest share of ap
plause. "Tuxedo" performance lasted until
live iiiluiutcs to twelve. It will haeto lie
cut and dried somewhat after which tho nov
elty will probably have a big run.
The Funke will ho dark the balance
J. Kline Euimett begins his starring tour
nlwut tho middle of August.
John Stetson is to manage Marlon Matiolu
and JohuTMusou's tour lu comic opera.
Beatrice Morelaud has an offer to join the
Joseph Jefferson Florence combination next
Edgar Hnyder, dramatlu crltlti of the Oma
ha Bee occupied u box at the Initial jierforiu
imco of "Tuxedo" nt Funku'sTluirsday even
Work on thu new Lansing is progressing
and the contractors give assurance thut they
will have the house completed on date agreed
Manager MclteynoliN of the Ftinku is tak
ing in thu giuat Northwest. Hols in Port
land today and expects to be in Lincoln next
Murlo Wuiiiwrlght's coming elaborate re
vlvul of "Amy Holt-art" will Imj one of thu
liiq-ortunt thcutiical events of the early full
seusou In New York.
In "The County Fair," which Is now lielng
presented In Chicago, C. B. Jefferson, Klaw
nnd Erlonger. are using a wagon one hun
dred uud llfty jeuisold,
"A Straight Tip," John J. McNully's farce
comedy which hail such a long and successful
run ill New York last seusou is to lie present
ed lu many Of the largo cities next season
with u Hue cast of comedians and vocalists.
Many new and attractive features arc. to be
Alsiut two mouths ugo thu ileud walls of
thu city uud thu store windows were In-decked
with glaring advertisements announc
ing that Forepaugh's great circus would Imj
in Lincoln lu July. The circus was in Oma
ha Thursday nnd as July closes next week it
is to lie presumed thut thu Porepvigh shows
have given Lincoln the go-by,
The Interior portion of the new Lansing
thentro begins to assume visable form. One
can, standing where the stage Is to be built,
already see the frame work of the bal
cony and gallery. Unlike all other building
operations, the construction of u theatre lie
glu with the interior work, This once com
pleted it takes comparatively little time for
thu erection of thu walls.
Ed A. Church has returned from New
York after a mouths sojourn witli the "pros
fesh" during which lime the new Lansing
theatre was brought more conspicuously into
prominence that all other advertising could
do. Mr. Church Informs the Courikk that
hu is more thun pleased with the line of at
tractions that he has secured. He feels jubl
luut over the prospects of thu now theatre
aud when the time comes will make known a
series of important and Interesting announce
ments regarding thu house ana the attrac
tions that will bo a matter of pleasant sur
prise to all lovers of thespiau amusement.
Ayer's Ague cure is a vegetablo prepara
tion, aud warranted to euro ull malarial dis
orders. Brown's restaurants, Windsor block, '-!1U
north Eleventh street, and HIS O street.
Five dollar commutation tickets reduced to
four dollars, good at IsMli places.
Henry Harphum, harness, saddlery and
turf goods, HJ north Eleventh street, opposite
Manitou Sriu.sus, Colo., Juno 27. lSc
lul. Maultou U to the eople what a sugar
barrel U to the files on a bright summer day
decidedly attractive. There is an absence
of Hies and an influx of people at Manitou
that U refreshing. These June days are of
the leafy June that poets prate of cool
mornings, warm enough nt noontime to re
mind the out door wanderer thut It is sum
mer, and evenings full of moonlight uud
Tim wulks,dilvcs and trnllsuliout Maultou
aio so numerous that old timers of several
season's exs-rleuce llnd some now beauties
whenever they go out, The country Is para
dise lor Urn lively young woman or the
hi aw ny young man who delights in explor
ing expeditious, sluilltnu U best reached via
thu Union I'aclllc.
A Young Man of Ideas.
A Great Nurcess.
Hagley That fishing trlpof yours wasn't
a success, I understand!
Bailey Oh, but It was.
Hagley I heard that you lost all your
fine fishing tacklu uud narrowly escaped
JJalley Y-y-yes, that's true, but I caught
threo fish. Rochester Post-Express.
The iectillar enervating effect of sumniur
weather Is driven off by Hood's Harwipa
i Ilia, which "makes the weak strong."
Sea lUtlilng 1,11110 Mile from the Hen,
The famous health resort, Garfield Beach,
on Great Halt Iuke, eighteen miles from
Halt I-ake City, Is reached via thu Union
Pacific, "The Overland Route," and Is now
This Is the only real sand beach on Great
Halt Iake, uud is one of thu finest bathing
and pleasure resorts In thu West.
For complete description of Gnrlleld Boach
and Great Halt Lake, send to E. L. Iomax,
Gen'l Pass., and Ticket Agent, Omaha, for
copies of "Sights and Scenes In Utah," or
"A Glluqise of Great Halt Luke," or apply at
IOHO street. E. B. Slosson, City Ticket
Call on Henry Harpham, H'J north Elev
enth street, opposite Capital Hotel for fly
nets, summer laprolte and carriage whips.
Our work speaks tor itself It 'needs no
brag or bluster, simply your own opinion
will testify to its merits. Tho Studio hi
Grande is ou the ground floor, centrally lo
cat id and a beautiful place. Cull nnd see us
nt l'-il south Twelfth street.
The Wbitebrcast Coul and Lime company
Is always at the front supplying the finest
grades of all kinds of coal
t'.ye uud Kr Surgeon.
Dr. W. L. Dayton, oculist and uurut, VMl
O street, telephone 375, Lincoln, Nebr.
Flannel shirts cleaned without shrinking by
the French dry cleaning process, only 1ft cts,
at Lincoln Steam Dye works, llltt O street.
See our beautiful Individual Ice
moulds lieforu ordeilng elsewhere.
Finest" IS) O street.
Are You Interested!
The following frank statement from J. E.
Hare of Trenton, Texas, will lie of Interest to
manyof our citltens. "My (little boy was
C-Jr---- sfM'f fjjsssg' f.,
st i fLi ttt .sssssssssssCslW W f lCstaxTssssssssssi
: sbV-,."-i- Ay V."1-. - i!jjZj Ri;
. -'-"T9 . -asMsshCV..sBMJL:
Jl. VA 1 .i..-""-", m ..MIL Si'
very bud oir for two months with illairhu'n.
We urns! various medicines, also c.illwl In
two doctors, but nothing done him any good
until we used Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera
uud Dlarrluea Remedy, which gave Imme
diate relief and soon cured him. I consider
It the best medicine madii and can eonrrluti
tlously recommend It to all who need a illitr
ihii'it or colli misllclnii. For sale by ('hits.
O. Heed, Druggist.
Uulek and 4,'otiifiirliilileTrlp,
Two new ttallis have been added to the uU
ready excellent cnnucctloim east that til
Great RiH'k Island Route has been offeilug
to Its pfitlXIII.
Thu Ijike Hhore & Mich. Hon! hern has put
on a new ttalii, leaving Chicago dally at 10;
!U)a. in., ami thu Fort Wayne (I'cuusylvnnlu
Lines), one nt 10:15 a. m,
These ore dally trains, scheduled on fast
time, and arrive at New Yoi k City next nf
tcrnoon at 'J o'clock, and via thu Hist men
tioned Boston Hisseligers reach their ilestlnas
tlon but 'i hours later.
Thu Rock Island Route Hlei'T leave
Omaha daily at 4:!MI p. to,, and arrives al
Chicago at 8.0.1 a. m., In time to make this
liiqNirtnut through connection,
For rales and tickets apply to
J, L. I)K IlKVom, Gen'l Agent l'as. Dipt,,
Hitli & Fiirnnm Hts,, Omaha.
J NO. Skiiahtian, Gen'l Tkt. & Pass. Agt,
K. St. John, Gen'l Manager.
An Appropriate Name,
A young man from the metropolis Is in the
habit of paying a visit evory week to his
fiancee, who lives in a city not two hundred
miles nwny from Now York. The young lady
In question- has three bright nephews rang
ing all tho way from five to thirteen years of
ago. They havo been much interested In
their weekly visitor, who has succeeded in
winning their confidence to n marked
oxtuut. At tho dinner table recently, at
which were present all tho mambers of the
faintly, Including tho young man himself,
an animated discussion took place among
the three boy as to what they should call,
tholr uncle to be.
"Let's call him 'Undo Frod,'" sihl
"What's the matter with plain Frcdf"
"Well," said Guy, "If ho's coming up here
every week this sumniur, I think we had
better call him chestnuts."
A Vesjatable Hymn.
A lot of vegetarians held n convention
recently in Iximlun, and during the ses
sions a number of hymns appropriate to
the vegetarian cult were sung. Here la a
bit from one of thoso hymns:
The whcatmsul bread for Infanta,
. ItaknutiheiteslrsTonnth,- i . .. .
No partlc.e lie larger than
A pin's head small and round.
Tho stuff of Ufa Is wboatmoal bread;
For ticnsnnt, prlnco and peer;
And children who on it aro fed i
Will have tho best of cheer.
Hurrah! hurrah! hurraht my boys, j
For Rood old wheatmcnl bread:
The children wilt grow fat and fair
If oil It thoy aro fed.
-Now York Tribune.
A Last und Long Farewell.
Drum, l'ers. Jenny, tho artificial flower
maker, and her young man.
He I have come to bid you goodby,
mademoiselle, as you won't havo inu for a
Shu (slightly uffected) But you'll write
mo often, won't you!
He I hud not dared to usk If I might do
so. But, then, oxcusu mo. May I Indulge
She Oh, dear, nol But there is a society
that offers u prize of 000 francs to any
young woman collecting a million postugo
stamps, und every llttlu helps, you know.
Journal do Charlerol.
A MfitruMill!an Drcwnmr.
Local Statesman What an Impractical,
visionary dreamer your neighbor, Jinks,
Winks Yes, Isn't he! Only the other
day lie said hu thought the street cleaning
department ought to make somo attempt
to clean tho streets. New York Weekly.
The Truth About It.
McFlngle I saw an advertisement of
Dullard's storu in the papers this morning.
McFungle I thought hu never adver
tised. Ho told me so, and said he never
McFlngle He didn't. It wus lu the list
of sheriff's sales. Boston News.
Pilled the lllll.
"We havo no use for beur stories," said
tho editor. "Our readers demand some
"Well," said the mau with the manu
script, "this story Is about a cinnamon
bear." IndlanuK)lls Journal.
A Ileuewal of Youth.
Primus (scholar and traveler) Greek is
not yet u dead language, aud tho Greek
nation, sir, Is not at all senile. It has un
dergono a rejuvenation.
Secundus Yes; I hear It is crying for its
marbles again. Lite.
A lleaclt Horror.
Fweddle You look all bwoko up; what's
Cholly Aftah my dip yestahday my
valley fohgot to cotno nwound to dwes me
and I pabsed a howiblo night iu tho bath
house. New York Herald.
A Doctor's Error.
She Isn't Dr. Anderson very
Ho Yes. That's why ho never married.
He went to kiss his sweetheart once anil
vaccinated her Instead. Loudon Tit-Bits.
A Warped Judgment.
Dingo Aren't these strawberry dishes'
Mrs. Bingo Yea. They were selected by
Cousin Jack. You know he has jusU
opened a grocery store. Brooklyn Life.