THE COURIER
-V
D
t
I
w-
h
t
i
X
HIS FIRST AFTER-DINNER SPEECH.
He takes his seat at the table and steals
a glance at the toast list.
"ThirJ from the last speaker and a
twelve-course dinner to be lived through
first. Great Caesar! Well maybe I'll
died before we get to it. Hope bo, I'm
sure.
"Elegant oysters, but no taste to 'em.
Perhaps it's my tongue it feels sort-of
blurred.
"Soup looks all right, but I don't seem ;
to notice it as it goes down.
" 'Ladies and Gentlemen' no, no I
mean 'Mr. Toastmaster and Gentle
men.' Wonder it I look pale? Feel
pale, I'm sure. Glad I got a fishbone in
my throat just then. It changed the
current of my thoughts for a time, and
eased up some of the pressure on my
t brain. Besides it headed off the man on
my left from asking me questions which
I haven't mind enough to spare to ans
wer. 'There's a little story which comes
to my mind, as 1 rise to address you.'
By the Lord Harry, how did that story
begin? Suppose it shouldn't come to
my mind!
"is this game
3? Shouldn't know it
from chicken-feed.
Am I eating like a
civilized being, or am I ramming it
down the way I used to do when I knew
a thrashing was waiting for me after
dinner? Wish that idiot across the
table wouldn't look at the parting of
my hair so often. Wonder if I got it
crooked after all?
"Used the wrong fork for my oysters,
becomes evident. Got to use oyster
fork now for the roast. Glad my wife
isn't here; glad I've got one thing
left to be glad for. 'There can be no
question that the issues which are in
volved in this matter of ' that's not
right. 'There can be no issue involved
in this question which is not ' By
Jove! but this room is infernally hot!
'There can be no questions involved in
this ibsue' ob, which way does the con
founded thing go?
"While I eat this salad, I'm going to
think this thing out calmly. I certainly
know this speech by heart; I've gone to
bed, and got up with it, too long to for-.
get it now. There's no use in my get
ting rattled. 'There can be no question
that this matter involves issues' con
found it, why can't that man lot me
alone? He may have nothing to do, but
eat his dinner and ask fool questions of
men who h'ave something on their
minds.
"By Jove, we're getting pretty well
through! My mouth is as dry as saw
dust; nothing seems to moisten it up.
Never knew I had palpitation of the
heart but I've got it now sure. I'll
see the dostorin the morning, if I'm
alive which I doubt
"Guess I won't smoke; don't think I
could hold my hand steady to light up.
I'll have to take out more insurance if
.' I've got heart disease if I can get any
company to take my risk.
"Great heaven! we've got to the toasts.
First man looks as calm as mud. Wish
I could just look that way, whether I
said much of anything or not. But I
don't. I look all colors blue, just now,
I think.
"Second man up! Three more before
me. Wish I could go home. Afraid I
forgot to applaud Number One. Must
remember that this time.
"Two more! If my kneee shake like
this, T can't stand on my legs, that's all.
I see my finish; I shall fall over and be
carried out, and that'll be the best thing
that could happen so long as no body
gets onto it. One more! George Thomp-
son, when that man sits down you've got
to get up. Oh, why can't I go home?
I've had enough of this,
I believe I'll
I'll run away NOW!
"He getting through! 'The questions
involved in this issue The issues in
volved in this question Ladies and
Mr. ToaatmaBter and Gentlemen: A a. I
rise to address you as I rise to address
you, a little story comes to niy mind
My mind! I'ts a perfect blank abso
lute. He's sitting down! Ob, 1 wish I
were being hanged 1 do, I DO! 'Mr.
Toastmaster and Ladies' or being shot
for a deserter, or being wrecked ou a
barren island. Now its COME! Be is
calling on ME! They're looking at ine!
I know my necktie's under one ear I
know it but I cant help it cow; it's too
late. Here 1 go. SPEAK, George
Thompson! SPEAK, you fool!"-
Aloud "Mr. Toastmaster Ll
and Gentlemen " Grace S. Rich
mond, in Truth.
Accepted by Liszt
In the third paper of his "Memories
of a Musical Life," in the September
Century, Dr. William Mason tells of bis
acceptance as a pupil of Liszt, nearly,
fifty years ago.
When we arose from the table and
went into the drawing-room, Liszt said:
j have a new !ano from Erard of
piano
Paris. Try it, and see bow you like it."
He asked me to nardon him if he moved
about the room, for he had to get to
gether Borne papers which it was neces
sary to take with him, as he was going
to the palace of the grand duke. "As
the palace is on the way to the hotel,
we can walk as far as that together," he
added.
I felt intuitively that my opportunity
had come. I sat down at the piano
with the idea that I would not endeavor
to show Li&zt how to play, but would
play an simply as if I were alone. I
played "A mi tie pour Amitie," a little
piece of my own which had just been
published by Hofmeister of Leipeic.
"That's one of your own?''anked Liszt
when I had finished. "Well, it's a
charming little piece." Still nothing
was said about my being accepted as a
pupil. But when we left the Altenburg,
he'said casually, "You say you are going
to Leipsic for a few days on business?
While there you had better select your
piano and have it sent here. Meanwhile
J wjj jejj
Klinworth to look up rooms
for. you. Indeed, there is a vacant room
in the house in which he lives, whichTis
pleasantly situated just outside the
limits of tte ducal park."
I can recall the thrill of joy which
passed through me whan Liszt spoke
these words. They left no doubt in my
mind. I was accepted as his pupil. We
walked down the hill toward the ton,
Liszt leaving me when we arrived at the
palace, telling me, however,- that he
would call later at the hotel and intro
duce ma to my fellow-pupils. About
eight o'clock that evening he came,
I had no idea then, neither have I
how, what his means were, but 1 learned
soon after my arrival at Weimar that he
never took pay from his pupils, neither
would he bind himself to give regular
lessons at stated periods. He wished to
avoid obligations as far as possible, and
feel free to leave Weimar for short peri
ods when bo inclined in other words,
to go and come as he liked.
"Gonova" Tablets cure all diseases of the
urinary system. Only combination remedy in
America. W A 15 sizes. Hailed Kidd Drug Co.,
Klgin, 111,, Biggs' Pharmacy, Liccoln, Nebr
The Rock Island playing cards are
the slickest you ever handled. One
pack will be sent by mail on receipt of
15 cents in stamps. A money order or
draft for 50 cents or same in stamps will
secure & packs. They wiil be sent by
express, charges prepaid. Address,
John Sebastian, G. P. A.,
Chicago, Rock Island & Pacific R'y, ,
Chicago '
IMMMIHIIMMIMI,'lMIIMIMIMIIIMIMMIIMMIIIIIIIIIIMmiMMIIIIMmi
j Ladies'
Taiior-Made
! Suits
Half Price.
tMMHimillMMIIIIMIMIMMIIMCt
MIIobER&PAlNB
IMIMMMIIMMIIMMIIHMHIMIMIMIMIMMIMIIIIimHMIIIMimilM
I cur liSM by i
nsBBIB eni
Denver and return $1825.
Colorado Springs and return $18.85.
Pueblo and return $19 00.
Glen wood Springs and retuin 83025.
Salt Lake and Ogden and return 32.00.
Hot Springs, S. D., and return $17.50.
Deadwood, S. D., and return 821.50.
St. Paul &. Minneapolis and return 211.30
Duluth, Minn., and return 818.60.
Ka3ota,Minn., and return $1205.
Waseka, Minn., and return $12.05.
Superior, Wis., and return $18 GO.
2 Gity Ticket Office 5
m
c
SGor. 10th and O Srrt S-nnaiasninTn-iiTiTi
xeiepnone zj.
IM-IMIiwMM
lifllllMHIHiMmttil
Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending sketch and description of
any invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning tbe patent
ability of same. "How to Obtain a Patent" sent upon request. Patent!
secured through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patent taken out through us receive special notice, without charge, in
The Patent Record, an illustrated and widely circulated journal, consulted
by Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address,
VICTOR. J. EVANS CO.,
Patent Attorneys,)
Evans Building, - WASHINGTON, D. C
We carry a
JWJ:- stocK ol gootu
lil'ii- valued at
ii.soo.ooo.oo
ir- -n j.
T
m?
oza-ii vi
J MiQ
IVTTj'
We own and occupy fie tallest mercantile building in the world. We have
over 4,aoo,ooa customers. Sixteen hundred clerks are constantly
engaged filling out-of-town orders.
OUR GENERAL CATALOGUE is the book of the people it quotes
Wholesale Prices to Everybody, has over 1,000 pages, 16,000 illustrations, and
60,000 descriptions of articles with prices. It costs 73 cents to print and mail
each copy.' We want you to have one. SEND FIFTEEN CENTS to show
your good faith, and we'll send you a
J0MT60MERY WARD &
We are greaMy overstocked on ladies'
ready-to-wear suits.
It is our policy never to carry a lot
of ready made garments from one
season to another.
We are determine? to dispose of
every one of these suits, and to do
it quickly.
While they last you can take your
choice at exactly halt price.
Think of it. $40 suits for $20;
$JO suits for $15; $20 suits fur
$IO; $15 suits for $7.50, etc.,
etc.
Tickets on sale Au
gust 7th -21st.
limited to return
Oct. 31st.
)?
Burlington Depot
7th St , Between P and Q.J
Telephone U5.
e receire r6ffcjT
irom 10.000 to -n. sTaS .
n w . --'
ia,wu iciicrs
mil
laaaiSS
auiuSi
M.J1H
copy FREE, with all charges prepaid.
C0."iehi9""AceH?cAGrBS,rMl
