THE COURIER -V D t I w- h t i X HIS FIRST AFTER-DINNER SPEECH. He takes his seat at the table and steals a glance at the toast list. "ThirJ from the last speaker and a twelve-course dinner to be lived through first. Great Caesar! Well maybe I'll died before we get to it. Hope bo, I'm sure. "Elegant oysters, but no taste to 'em. Perhaps it's my tongue it feels sort-of blurred. "Soup looks all right, but I don't seem ; to notice it as it goes down. " 'Ladies and Gentlemen' no, no I mean 'Mr. Toastmaster and Gentle men.' Wonder it I look pale? Feel pale, I'm sure. Glad I got a fishbone in my throat just then. It changed the current of my thoughts for a time, and eased up some of the pressure on my t brain. Besides it headed off the man on my left from asking me questions which I haven't mind enough to spare to ans wer. 'There's a little story which comes to my mind, as 1 rise to address you.' By the Lord Harry, how did that story begin? Suppose it shouldn't come to my mind! "is this game 3? Shouldn't know it from chicken-feed. Am I eating like a civilized being, or am I ramming it down the way I used to do when I knew a thrashing was waiting for me after dinner? Wish that idiot across the table wouldn't look at the parting of my hair so often. Wonder if I got it crooked after all? "Used the wrong fork for my oysters, becomes evident. Got to use oyster fork now for the roast. Glad my wife isn't here; glad I've got one thing left to be glad for. 'There can be no question that the issues which are in volved in this matter of ' that's not right. 'There can be no issue involved in this question which is not ' By Jove! but this room is infernally hot! 'There can be no questions involved in this ibsue' ob, which way does the con founded thing go? "While I eat this salad, I'm going to think this thing out calmly. I certainly know this speech by heart; I've gone to bed, and got up with it, too long to for-. get it now. There's no use in my get ting rattled. 'There can be no question that this matter involves issues' con found it, why can't that man lot me alone? He may have nothing to do, but eat his dinner and ask fool questions of men who h'ave something on their minds. "By Jove, we're getting pretty well through! My mouth is as dry as saw dust; nothing seems to moisten it up. Never knew I had palpitation of the heart but I've got it now sure. I'll see the dostorin the morning, if I'm alive which I doubt "Guess I won't smoke; don't think I could hold my hand steady to light up. I'll have to take out more insurance if .' I've got heart disease if I can get any company to take my risk. "Great heaven! we've got to the toasts. First man looks as calm as mud. Wish I could just look that way, whether I said much of anything or not. But I don't. I look all colors blue, just now, I think. "Second man up! Three more before me. Wish I could go home. Afraid I forgot to applaud Number One. Must remember that this time. "Two more! If my kneee shake like this, T can't stand on my legs, that's all. I see my finish; I shall fall over and be carried out, and that'll be the best thing that could happen so long as no body gets onto it. One more! George Thomp- son, when that man sits down you've got to get up. Oh, why can't I go home? I've had enough of this, I believe I'll I'll run away NOW! "He getting through! 'The questions involved in this issue The issues in volved in this question Ladies and Mr. ToaatmaBter and Gentlemen: A a. I rise to address you as I rise to address you, a little story comes to niy mind My mind! I'ts a perfect blank abso lute. He's sitting down! Ob, 1 wish I were being hanged 1 do, I DO! 'Mr. Toastmaster and Ladies' or being shot for a deserter, or being wrecked ou a barren island. Now its COME! Be is calling on ME! They're looking at ine! I know my necktie's under one ear I know it but I cant help it cow; it's too late. Here 1 go. SPEAK, George Thompson! SPEAK, you fool!"- Aloud "Mr. Toastmaster Ll and Gentlemen " Grace S. Rich mond, in Truth. Accepted by Liszt In the third paper of his "Memories of a Musical Life," in the September Century, Dr. William Mason tells of bis acceptance as a pupil of Liszt, nearly, fifty years ago. When we arose from the table and went into the drawing-room, Liszt said: j have a new !ano from Erard of piano Paris. Try it, and see bow you like it." He asked me to nardon him if he moved about the room, for he had to get to gether Borne papers which it was neces sary to take with him, as he was going to the palace of the grand duke. "As the palace is on the way to the hotel, we can walk as far as that together," he added. I felt intuitively that my opportunity had come. I sat down at the piano with the idea that I would not endeavor to show Li&zt how to play, but would play an simply as if I were alone. I played "A mi tie pour Amitie," a little piece of my own which had just been published by Hofmeister of Leipeic. "That's one of your own?''anked Liszt when I had finished. "Well, it's a charming little piece." Still nothing was said about my being accepted as a pupil. But when we left the Altenburg, he'said casually, "You say you are going to Leipsic for a few days on business? While there you had better select your piano and have it sent here. Meanwhile J wjj jejj Klinworth to look up rooms for. you. Indeed, there is a vacant room in the house in which he lives, whichTis pleasantly situated just outside the limits of tte ducal park." I can recall the thrill of joy which passed through me whan Liszt spoke these words. They left no doubt in my mind. I was accepted as his pupil. We walked down the hill toward the ton, Liszt leaving me when we arrived at the palace, telling me, however,- that he would call later at the hotel and intro duce ma to my fellow-pupils. About eight o'clock that evening he came, I had no idea then, neither have I how, what his means were, but 1 learned soon after my arrival at Weimar that he never took pay from his pupils, neither would he bind himself to give regular lessons at stated periods. He wished to avoid obligations as far as possible, and feel free to leave Weimar for short peri ods when bo inclined in other words, to go and come as he liked. "Gonova" Tablets cure all diseases of the urinary system. Only combination remedy in America. W A 15 sizes. Hailed Kidd Drug Co., Klgin, 111,, Biggs' Pharmacy, Liccoln, Nebr The Rock Island playing cards are the slickest you ever handled. One pack will be sent by mail on receipt of 15 cents in stamps. A money order or draft for 50 cents or same in stamps will secure & packs. They wiil be sent by express, charges prepaid. Address, John Sebastian, G. P. 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