Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 20, 1919, SOCIETY SECTION, Image 28

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    : - Th " II id ht" Phi A sf
:
I i - A CALL FOR GOOD BEER.
The Qmah Sunday Bee
1 i , -
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, JULY 20, 1919.
Bachelor Maids Willing to
Share Lonely Men's Homes
Flood of Letters Follow Request of "Your Chance" and
"liomebuilder"-to Find ;Only Girl" Seeking True
. Love i and Comradeship. . . . . . ;
. ' The germ of a great idea was born
in the fertile brains of representa
tives of two Omaha dailies.
The idea at least sounded reaj
sonable; homing piegons were to
bring reports from the daring bl
loonists who were to break distance
'.records following the balloon car
nival at Fort Omaha.
Reams of paper fronr'our rapidly
disappearing forests were used by
these two Omaha dailies telling just
. 'how their pet "homing" pigeons
were to bring "exclusive" messages
T.from the clouds-to the city editors',
desks. ; S
.' Like Grand Opera Singers. ,
But, alas, pigeons, especially hom-'
ing pigeons, are temperamental
birds.1 Either these "perfectly
' trained" homing pigeons were not
given explicit instructions, or they
misunderstood their orders. They,
returned, they failed to light.
Let no one say the messages
were not exclusive as promised.
They were very exclusive fact is
they were excluded from every one
uutil the aeronauts had arrived
safely back in Omaha.
The pigeons refused to light. It
rwas tragic.
" Press time approached. Report
ers ' were dispatched to the scene
r action. Corn was rattled. It
' failed to entice the wary "hom
ing" pigeons. They refused to
home. Someone suggested a shot
gun as the only hope. It was sent
for. But the paper went to pre'ssl
The day was lost. -
Tough on the Pigeons.
Into the weary hours of the night
the reporters of the morning paper
watched hopefully. The pigeons
failed to roost.
Yet no one should insinuate that
the plan was a failure. Far be it
from us to even suggest such a
thing. Vere.the two dailies notable
to furnish their readers interesting
data on the habits and peculiarities
of the homing pigeon?
They were I
Weren't columns filled with heart
rendering accounts of how a mother
pigeon was taken from her nest and
little pigeons, that readers might
be kept informed?
Columrtsjwere !
Nothing was said about, the lo
cality of the balloons, pf course.
But what of that? Didn't The Bee.
with a.'much; l$ss. picturesque meth
od, keepthe public posted on that?
it did I .v;
, Ugly. Ugly Rumors.
And it is said that the promoters
of the pigeon idea are somewhat in
disfavor in -their own;offices. It is
even told that their credit isn't good
for even twenty-five (25) cents. But
that is only, rumor. ,
The' effect on the pigeons them
selves is said "to have been bad. It
is said that they are vsuf fef ing from
serious cases of balloon shock.
Whether the mother pigeon, which
was so rudely torn from her nest
; ' ' X
and little ones, has returned to her
home and family is not known. We
hope so!
And here we might suggest that
parrots be used by the two dailies
when the next balloon races are
pulled off. Parrots are said to be
much less temperamental. Besides,
the aeronauts would then be saved
the trouble of writing notes. They
could just whisper the message in
the parrot's ear and the parrot
could repeat the message to the
waiting reporter.
To th Editor: The handicap of
the lack of decent beer Is unwarrant
ed: It Is an addltionalrgrtevance which
should be removed, as I feel sure all
other union officials will confirm.
Why the restrictions upon brewing
should continud passes all comprehen
sion. The war has ended and the
peace is practically secured. Why
Should thA wnrkmnn Bfllt ha itani.il
N his glass Of rood hftr at a rpnfinnnhK
price? To a large number of the
sections of workmen In my union, who
perform laborious work, gjod beer
Is a , necessity, and by executive
trust Its production will not be fur
ther hindered.
After raising the hopes of our
bibulous readers with the above, we
must, tell them that is is-clipped
from the London Times. The days
of protest are past in this prohibition-cursed
country.
The H C. of L.
Mr. A. Stinger I paid $7.25
for a crate of raspberries the
other day. Three years ago I
paid $2.50 for the same sized
crate of the same kind of fruit.
I understand that Mother Na
ture doesn't charge any more
for growing raspberries now
than she did before. Find the
beginning of the H. C. of L.?
How come?
Yours truly,
Bee Wax.
(The rise in price is due to the
large shipments of raspberries to
our soldiers and to the starving
Armenians. Raspberries won the
war. Editor.)
Maxims of Lowell Miller.
(Son of "Qus.")
A hopeful bachelor without a car
is like Bryan on the presidential
ticket or a deaf and dumb woman
at a 'kensington.
Dreams form the doorstep to the
door of opportunity and a good
front the furnishings of the hallway.
A telephone would be quite an
accommodation if it wasn't such a
nuisance.
The President of Ireland.
Emon.'
Eamon.
Eamonn.
Emonu. ,
Edmon.
Eadmon.
Eadmonn.
Bamon.
Bamonn.
Edwin.
Edwinn.
Amon. -
Amonn.
- We've seen it spelled all these
ways. But the right name of the
president of Ireland is Eamonn De
Yalera. Louis Kavanaugh, president
of the local Irish Self-Determina-tion
club, says so.
INDUCEMENT.
From reading the letters of read
ers to the Omaha Ouija News we
gatjier that a sure way to get pray
ers answered is to promise the Deity
that you will write to the Omaha
Ouija News if He answers the
prayer.
Sayings of Celebrities.
David People in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones!
Lucretia Borgia Accidents will
regulated
happen
families.
Tantalus Man never
'ays to be blest 1
Armour The pen is mightier
than the sword!
Neptune Water, water, every
where, but not a drop to drink I
Billy Sunday Empty vessels make
the most noise!
Rebecca Well! Well!
Huyler Sweets to the sweet!
Faust Give the devil his due!
Romulus and" Remus Wolf!
Wolf!
Annette Kellerman Still waters
run deep! ,
Emperor Wilhelm What can you
expect from a pig but a grunt?
Minerva A word to the wise is
sufficient!
Jess Willard I would I were a
glove upon that hand, that I might
touch that cheekf
Queen of Sheba Fine feathers
make fine birds'! f
Caruso The stars sang together!
Charles II EaL drink and be
merry, for tomorrow we die!
Adam Turn over a new leaf!
Father Time We have met the
enemy and they are hours 1
' I-W. W.
(Falrbury News.)
In Lincoln's Gettysburg
speech there was not a single
capital "I." In the closing para
graph of President Wilson's
Memorial day address in France
there were 11 "I's." And there
'were only three lines in the
paragraph, as printed in the
Congressional Record.
Letters! Letters! and more let
ters!. All from girls who wish to
meet "Your . Chance" and ' the
"HomebuHder," the two lonely bach
elors who asked the Metropolitan
Page editor to help them find the
"only girl." - : . - '
Fortunate, indeed, are these two
bachelors, who have homes to offer,
for almost every bachelor maid who
writes expresses real longing for a
home, and genuine sympathy for any
man who could be so unfortunate as
to possess a home and not a wife.
"Man, after all. is but a grown up
child, helpless without the care of
his loving wife," is the paraphrased
contents of one letter. And here is
a sample from another letter di
rected to "Your Chance":
"I saw your offer of a home in The
Bee. home has always appealed
to me. Birds, and all nature seem
to teach that home is the best pro
vision for happiness." This message
well expresses the thought that is
contained in all the rest.
No Objection to Farm.
"We girls do want homes, and a
husband to love us," writes another
bachelor maid. "I do not object to
farm work, and I take pride in my
dress."
"I am a good housekeeper, can
bake tread, and have been helping
my father plow," writes a third girl,
who wishes to meet "Your Chance."
Yet her dainty handwriting bears no
evidence of work in the fields, and
her English is go3d. She explains
that she is writing to "Your Chance"
rather than to the "Homebuilder,"
simply because he is a farmer and
she is a farm girl. She even devotes 1
a few. lines to the crop conditions.
What a wonderful wife she would
make for any farmer I
-f-But to quote more is merely to re
peat. , If "Your Chance," and the
"Homebuilder" are unable to pick
the "only girl" from the bundle of
letters which the editor of the Met-
ropiltan Page has forwarded them,
they will probably remain single for ;
life. 0
Surplus of Girls.
And the fact ,that they can't
marry them all naturally leaves T .?
surplus of girls for some other bach- ;
elor to pick from. So confident ii .
the editor in the desire of the aver
age girl for a real home, that he ven
tures to assure any bachelor with i
home fo offer, who writes to him f 6i
assistance in finding a wife that he
will receive at least one reply.
Anyway the girls have responded
nobly to the appeal from "The
Homebuilder," and "Your Chance,"
and there is no reason why they
should not respond to the call of any
other lonely bachelor.
Convention, dull at best, has been
done away with to a large extent
during the war, and a slight depar
ture from the conventional method
of getting acquainted may result in
a lifetime of happiness. Who knows?
Nothing would please the editor of ,
the Metropolitan Page more than to
help some man or woman from the
common place drudgery of life, to
the happiness of true love and com
radeship. And all he asks in return
is the pleasure of being told of the
happiness found through these col
umns. .
Come on, you bachelors!
Believes Bride Cannot
Begin Married Life in
Home of Hub's Parents
Is it possible for a young bride to
begin her married life in the home
of her husband's parents and under
the same roof with her mother-in-law?
Lucy Clark thinks it may be pos
sible, but not probable. Miss Clark
is record keeper in the justice court
of George S. Collins, and she be
lieves she knows a thing or two
about married life.
"I know a girl who is a sweet
young thing and she became en
gaged to an object she called
Chauncey. A few days before the
time set for their marriage he told
her that they were going to live
with his folks, and then she told him
that they were not going to live
with his folks. The wedding was
indefinitely postponed," Lucy Clark
related.
And then she added: "And . I
would see him hanging eight years
from a Christmas tree before I
would have married him under those
circumstances."
Yes, and They Hunt for Loose
Joints.
Last winter a woman passenger
on an eastern railway asked the
porter why the train had stopped
bctweon stations.
,"Oh," said Rastus, "the engineer
dene found a broken rail."
"Well," said the woman, "why
stop for that? Do the passenger
train' on this road stop to pick up
every broken rail they find along
the track?"
TV
Minor.
"Oh, dea, sighed the movie star,
"I forgot something when I, was
downtown shopping!"
"What was it?" inquired her sec
retary. ,
, "I meant to buy an automobile to
match my new hat."
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest Stories About People
A 1
When They Wooed and Won -:- Edw BiaCk
,We offer this morning a pictur
esque presentation of J. W. Met
calfe, secretary of ' the Associated
' Retailers, as he appeared in the
hevday of his youth in St. Louis.
sWe obtain from his memoirs infor
mation whichindicates that he was
a regular tenow DacK in tne aays
w.tien he attended Sunday school
and when he began to cultivate a
mustache. He also rode a high bi
cycle and went to base ball games.
- Speaking about ball games, he re
lated an instance when he played
"hookey" from work to go to a ball
game. He occupied a 75-ceht seat
and observed his boss in the
bleachers. ,The boss observed him.
He was supposed to be working.
The next morning the boss called
him into the inside office and in
stead of administering the expected
lecture, he commended him for go
ing to the ball game, but adjured
him to observe the formality of ask
ing leave in the future.
Mr. Metcalfe was born in St.
Louis and lived there until he was
26 years old, when he decided that
Omaha held more opportunities for
the ambitious man. He went to Sun
day school in St. Louis and therein
lies the story of how he wooed and
. won. In- this Sunday school . were
' various young women, as there are
in all Sunday schools. One summer
there was a picnic which Mr. Met
calfe attended. One of the Sunday
school girls served him ice cream.
She served him an extra dish and
seemed to show him particular at
tention in that respect.
Several other young men attend
ants of 'this Sunday school had been
making eyes at this particular
young woman, so Mr. Metcalfe be
gan' to ' spruce up a bit. He was
seen occasionally driving over to her
home in a phaeton drawn by a high
Stepper. He outdistanced his rivals
tie nad his photograph taken and
she placed ope of the pictures on
the family organ. He never missed
a session of Sunday school after the
eventful picnic. He took her to
circuses and the county fair and
bought her a plush-covered photo
graph album for her birthday anni
versary. he gave him a pair of
suspenders for Christians. As the
days sped on, a better, understanding
was snareo Detween them.
v One Slinday afternoon, while they
were seated in a lawn swing at her
iiome, ne remarked thay it seemed
that all of their acquaintances were
being married. She agreed that his
observations had been correcl. It
vas a good start, he thought. Then
"he groped his way along until he
just up and asked her if she would
marry him. She said she would and
she did.
The minister who introduced the
young woman to Mr. Metclafe was
asked to marry them.
Mr. Metcalfe was one of the most
bashful young men in St. Louis
when he lived there and he said
that he afterwards wondered how
he mustered up sufficient courage
to ask a young woman to marry
him. When he was a boy he be
lieved that he was doomed to
bachelorhood. ,
After he was married he moved
to Omaha and engaged in the ad-
vertising business, and seven years
ago he organized the Associated Re
tailers. f
Luck Helps Omahans Hear
Talk When Senator Fails
Weaver Presribes
Broncho Riding for
. . Internal Diseases
Frank L. Weakto city aHornW,
. recommends brocho riding as a pan
acea for various internal disorders,
During his recent vacation spent
in MCfherson county, Nebraska, be
rode a broncho -nd studied natural
history. : Before he went out to the
.sandhill country his liver was out of
kilter and he was suffering from a
general run-down reeling. He rode
a broncho four hours every day and
presto he is a new man. The
broncho shook all of the tired feeling
fut of him.
Ton't make fun of this, because
it is a serious matter, and I am
ready to prescribe broncho riding
for that lackadaisical feeling," Mr.
Wearer said.-' "I came back homi
feeling like a 2-year-old, fit to
fight, if necessary. It was a won-
: prise to me, because I had no
thought that these daily rides would
; have such a beneficial effect."
While in the sandhills Mr.Weaver
' studied the habits and habitat of the
j prairie dog. "It may surprise you
to know that these little animals
are very saeacious. lhev live m
towns or colonies and always main
tain a-lookout to warn the others
against approaching danger. These
dogs remove the shrubs and grass
irom a space surrounding, their dig
gings, this evidently to give them an
unobstructed view of enemies such
as the coyotes.. I observed one of
these prairie dog sentinels give an
atarm, ana u was. amusing to watch
them take to their holes." . ,
Screen Scrapple.
-The seven deadly sins of the
movies ire:. - -' ''
The one the scenario writer com
mits against the authbrv when he
mutilates his script'
The one the ' 'director commits
against the scenario writer in chang
ing nis version.
The one the star commits acainsr
the director in "hogging" all the
scenes. '
The one the camera man rnmrmt
against the star in not giving her a
sufficient number of close-ups.
;. The one the electrician commits
against the camera man by not hav
ing the lights in orooer workinsr or.
der. , . ' ;
The one' the critic commits acafnet
the picture when he pans it
The one for which
sponsible when. the picture is bad.
! . . JTrom JbJt Film Fun. "
It Wffl, Brother, But
v Certainly Notjn a
Green Bathing Suit
"Truth crushed to earth will rise
again," was said by somebody a
long time ago. .
C. K Sherman maintains that it
is so. Last week, while olavimr
golf in the Chamber of Commerce
annual tournament at. ttfe Seymour
club links, he was awarded a green
bathing cap because it was believed
that he negotiated all of the water
hazards. He accepted the headpiece
and swallowed his hurt pride for the
nonce.
A golf ball was driven into the
spnnghouse of the club arrounds and
it was believed that Mr. Sherman
did this deed, henc the green bath
ing cap. The truth, however. nr
yailed when it was made known that
J. D. Foster was the merry little
golfer who drove his vtfiite pellet
into the springhouse. Mr. Sher
man has the word of Robert H
Manley on this matter.
- "How would I look in a crrrrn
bathing cap, anyway?" asked G R.
S, with a laugh upon his lips,
Mr. and Mrs. Otto Nelson Follow Distinguished Party
Through Private Tunnel to Hear President Tell of
Completion of Peace Pact.
Evolution
A lucky accident enabled Mr. and
Mrs. Otto Nelson of Omaha to be
present in the senate gallery when
President Wilson delivered his ad
dress to the senate on his return
from France.
They were in Washington to at
tend the wedding of their daughter,
Amy, and while there, determined to
hear the president. They went, on
on the .big day, and presented cards
which they had received from Sen
ator Hitchcock, but were told by the
doorkeeper that these cards were for
ordinary 'days only and would not
admit them on the big day. lie said
there was1 no method known under
the sun whereby they could gain ad
mittance! Undiscburaged, they went to Sen
ator Hitchcock's office and consult
ed his secretary who told them that
he could not possibly get them into
the senate gallery fliat day.
So they departed. In the hall
they noticed an elevator and a num
ber of distinguished looking gentle
men waiting to get into it. They
joined this crowd and entered the
elevator. It went down, but instead
of discharging its passengers on the
ground floor it proceeded on down
and when they got out they noticed
they were in a subway and an elec
tric car was waiting.
The distinguished gentlemen got
on the car and the Nelsons did the
same. The car proceeded through
the subway and stopped before an
other elevator door, marked "Pri
vate." The doof opened and the
distinguished looking gentlemen got
into an elevator and Mr. and Mrs.
Nelson were still with them.
The elevator shot upward and
stopped. The party got out and the
Nelsons found themselves in the
senate gallery.
"That's, luck for you," said Mr.
Nelson, iii relating their adventure.
Jews Wearing Kilts
Novel Scene on Ship
En Route to New York
Can yu imagine two Jews in
Scotch military uniform?
That was one of the diversions
on board the good ship "Orduna"
whictwecently reached New York
by the way of Halifax, from Liver
pool. On board was Capt. A. H. Good,
who visited Mr. and Mrs. W. B.
Whitehorn, the captain being a
brother of Mrs. Whitehorn.
"You must understand that toward
the end of the wa there were
Scotch companies that were filled
in with men ot other nationalities
and the funniest thing I observed
coming home was the sight of two
New York east side Jews dressed in
Scotch kilties," said the captain.
The visitors lived in London dur
ing the time of air raids and had
many thrilling experiences.
And the Fight Was On.
A well-dressed citizen staggered
into a lowetvDouglas street restau
rant. He had been drinking bootleg
liquor.
"Bring me some oyster soup," he
ordered, glaring 'at the waiter.
"One stew," shouted the waiter.
An the fight was on. As usual,
police arrived too late to catch
"one stew."
By cable
"America" is
via Matteawan: If
a song, is European?
Deputy Sheriffs Form
Order of Cake Eaters .
At Birthday Party
Deputy Sheriff Chris Christensen
was a much surprised man Wednes
day afternoon. Chris is a bachelor
and Wednesday was his 51st birth
day and Chris pretty . niece, Miss
Julia Christensen, had a surprise
party for him in the sheriff's office
with the aid and consent of Sheriff
Mike Clark and the whole flock of
deputy sheriffs.
They trumped up a story to keep
Chris there at the appointed hour,
3:30 o'clock. The word of Deputy
Sheriff Charlie Hoye is that "Chris
eyes stuck out like pop bottles when
he saw his niece and she kissed him."
With the niece was Mrs. Edna
Bayles and she kissed Chris, too.
Charlie Hoye, seeing this grand
display of osculation, began wiping
off his. lips and made a great show of
"willingness.". But, though' he used
up two clean handkerchiefs in a
wild effort to attract some of the
kissing his way, he failed entirely.
Chris got six or eight kisses, they
say. Also a box of cigars which he
immediately put under lock and .key
And some handkerchiefs. And then
Miss Julia brought in the birthday
cake, a (huge chocolate affair.
The Ancient Order of Cake Eat
ers was quickly formed and at the
end of half an hour the birthday cake
was no more. Ray Johnson, Robert
McGaffin, Pat Welsh, Judge Foster
and Mrs. Manning, all of the sheriffs
onice, were present besides the oth
ers mentioned, v
I ate me a Welsh rabbit,
In the night last past;
I ate me a Welsh rabbit,
Whereby to stay my fast;
Simply a Welsh rabbit,
A harmless, armless thing,
With not a leg to stand on,
Nor voice to speak or sing.
I ate me a Welsh rabbit,
Then hied myself away
To bed and dreams and wishing
'Twere longer yet till day;
Simply a Welsh rabbit,
A wileless, guileless beast,
That hath no other mission
Than serving for a feast.
I ate me a Welsh rabbit,
Gadzooks! I thought it so;
But after I had gone to sleep
How quickly it did grow
Into the strangest creatures
Into the mares of night,
Into the gibberish monkeys
Into the shapes that fright,
Into the ring-tailed roosters,
Intathe jabberwocks,
Into the jangling jaguars,
Into the six-horned ox,
Into the horse with flippers,
Into the hog with wings;
Into the cat with feathers,
Into the cow that sings,
Into all manner of creatures,
Of all the earth andair and sea,
And all of them promenading
Or sitting around on me. -I
ate me a Welsh rabbit,
In the night last past;
I ate me a Welsh rabbit
urt. ... . ,
vvucreuy to stay my last;
Simply a Welsh rabbit
How could there possibly be
in a mtie tning like that
A whole menacpric?
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
The ancient proverb saith that
"the shoes of cobblers are always in
the worst condition."
And with this text we proceed to
a learned dissertation on the strange
case of Harry A. Koch. (Hand me
that musical instrument, Watson,
which was presented to me by the
The Movie Extra.
I wander here, I wander there
For dollars five a dayl v
In fact I wander ev'rywhere
For dollars five a day!
Made up like someone young or old,
Arrayed for weather hot or cold,
I humbly beg or crossly scold
For dollars five a day!
I am a banker or a tramp
For dollars five a day!
I am a hero or a scamp
For dollars five a' day!
I draw a sketch or write a book,
I am a waiter or a cook,
I am a copper or a crook
For dollars five a day
I tend a farm or live in town
For dollars five a day!
I. am 'way up or else 'way down
For dollars five a day!
I walk or ride, I sell or buy,
I eat or drink, I laugh or cry,
I work or play, I live or die
For dollars five a day!
From July Film Fun.
Sure!
That ma-in-law is
Verv
Who does not try to
Interfere!
? jryrm S I AIT J(
Maharajah of Hooplala after I had
recovered his diamond necklace for
him. I can talk best when I am
drawing weird music from than in
strument. Thank you, Watson.)
What connection have shoes and
cobblers with Harry A. Koch? None
whatever, except that he wears the
one (or two) and employs the other.
Is a "Parlor Pet"
But here'sithe proposition: Harry
A. Koch is ''one of the greatest
"parlor pets in Omaha, a chap
whom the girls all like, a social lion,
so to speak, understand. And yet
he isn't married.
No, sir, it's the truth. None can
wear a dress suit or a Tuxedo with
more grace and aplomb than he;
none has more savoir faire (French)
in the drawing room; none knows
better than -he the use of every spe
cies of knife, fork and spoon on the
dinner table.
Moreover he has companionable
disposition. He likes to sit down
and talk and he is a master of the
art of conversation which, in these
days of silent movies and noisy air
planes, is rapidly becoming a lost
art. He has loads of friends, many
of them being of the fair, mysteri--ous,
strong, admirable sex. .(Mean
ing gals and women.)
He Prefers 'Em All.
But still he remains a bachelor
and he bask in th .mil.. n
. - VI illl
of em instead of taking orders from
any particular one of em. "
It's a good plan iu many ways,
(though far be it from the editor of
thet bachelor gallery to say so.) '
Harrv erew un nVht hr ,
midst and went to sclool and event
ually got into the insurance business
with Martin Bros, company.
Now he has a nice little surety
bond parlor and insurance shop
of his own, with his name on the
door and everything.
He has a little car nothing elabo
rate, y'understand, but one that goes
and, of course, he doesn't refuse a
lady a ride if she hails him as he is
buzzing along the street.
But He Can't Help It "
He lives with his mother and sis
ter at 4812 Dnnc1a ctrf ;,,. -
couple of doors from Miles Green
leaf. Still, this fact should not be
used aeainst him. H nrnh'lw rincn'
have much to do with Miles
He belonsrs to the Fielrl. fnitnir,
and Athletic clubs, where b U
known as a dancer "par excelence" ;
and a golfer a long way below
"Dar." He's some little tenni nlavar
having won several championships
in "the "love-40" stuff. Incidentally,
he was member of the board of di
rectors of the well-known Chamber
of Commerce once. V,
But, oh. how he can dance! An
at entering a drawing room he hai
no superior and few peers.
He never wears a colored shirt
with his dress suit nor tennis shoes -with
his "Tux.''( He knows -all the
social rules anJ regulations, consti
tutions and by-laws. And he obeys
'em. ' .
Frenzied, But Not Financial.
The mild-mannered man with the
washed-out blue eyes wanted a job,
"What was your last position?"
asked the manager of the Slapdash
Philm Co.
"I was a dummy director."
"Good heavens, . man, this isn't
the f financial department! And I
don't believe this concern needs any
such article."
"You don't understand." rebuked
ihe man softly. "I had charge of
Jhose dummies that they throw out '
of third story windows and put un
der express trains." -
From Julr Film run. -
Early.
"Mary, while you stood in the
doorway" telling that young man
good night, did it dawn on you that
X"N, it wasn't that late." '
The Woman Way. .
If the shoe fits, get a size smaa
Cartons Magazine, . '
r