THE BEE OMAHA, MONDAY, JUNE 17, 1918.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING)' EVENING SUNDAY
FOUNDED 81 EDWARD ROSE WATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR.
Entered at Omaha postolHce as aacond-ciaaa msttii.
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liiillilllili
Austria threatens to follow Russia into re
tirement. , .
Well, 4hat million-dollar bond issue will not
get away.1 .-
' wo
' "Jitney" ice atationi ought to be popular
place, if the weather man keeps on going the
way he hai been.
Swiss achool children lfeve died from fumes
of German gas blown over the border. Thus
does kultur continue to spread sweetness and
light. - ,
The kaiser claims he has been under fire.but
'not long. Contrast his behavior with that of his
father and grandfather, who led their troops in
.person. .Xy'VV ' - ' v
Violators of traffic rules are going before the
police judge in big batches. If he will back up
the policemen in their efforts, Omaha streets
will be made safer for all who use them.
It is worthy of note that old offenders and
self-confessed violators of the law are the ones
who have most complaint to make of the activity
of the police force aft it is newly arranged. This
fact ought to convince orderly citiiens that the
police administration is on the job at last.
, If theunarmed hospital ship "Comfort" suc
ceeds in safely passing the danger zone, it may
be attributed to good fortune and not any sort
of magnanimity on part of the Hun. The U-boat
prefers prey .hospital ships above all others,
Just as 'the kaiser's airmen prefer hospitals as
, Utgttt. y " . .. -'' "
Edgar Howard's currency inliation scheme of
making liberty bonds legal tender for public and
private debts, we are told, is not entitled to even
Serious consideration "among men who have sub
stantial views on financial matters." Still, it
"would be interesting to know how it strikes
Brother Tibbies . of the editorial staff ' of our
hyphenated contemporary who has sought votes
on platforms very much like that.
fc
Nebraska Wheat Crop.
A pretty little fuss that might be enjoyed at
Another time, has come up between Colonel An
derson, government crop reporter, and Colonel
Maupin, who exercises a similar function for Ne
braska. Colonel Maupin says Colonel Anderson
js holding out on the state, and has set his figure
4oo low on the wheat crop. Colonel Alderson
comes back with the assertion that he knows
hat he is talking about, and so, the argument
$ on, witn litue-prospect ot its leading any
where. As a matter of human experience, no
guess made in June on the yield of a crop that
Will not be harvested until July is any more than
a guess, and one man's estimate is nearly if not
quite as good as another's. One thing only is
pertain: Nebraska's wheat crop will be as boun.
tiful as climatic conditions will admit, and more
than this can not be asked of the state. Every
bushel raised .will be conscientiously harvested
and scrupulously accounted for, that the state
may do all it can towards the feeding of the
hungry. And long months after the harvest is
over we may get from the growers and shippers
something definite in the way of figures to tel!
which of the contending authorities is nearer
correct tn his estimate. Till then, all the talk
ihey may indulge will not add a grain of wheat
to the yield. .
REORGANIZE FOREIGN RELATIONS
' COMMITTEE.
A declaration of war between the United
States and Turkey and Bulgaria is impending, a
fact interesting enough in itself, but more im
portant because of the peculiar conditions under
which the change in President Wilson's attitude
is being brought about. Steady pressure from
the Allies has operated to weaken his determi
nation not to declare war on the countries
named, and it is now reported in Washington
that Colonel House and Justice Brandeis are
carefully considering the matter for the purpose
of advising the president.
This state pf affairs was called to the atten
tion of the senate by Senator Fall of New Mex
ico, who expressed his concern that the cordial
relations that should exist between the senate
and the executive apparently had been so
strained that Mr. Wilson found it desirable to
consult with outsiders, rather than with the
committee- on foreign relations concerning so
delicate a public matter as the declaration of war.
Said Senator Fall, discussing this point:
This matter is one peculiarly within the
province of the senate itself to rectify. I rec
ommend to the earnest consideration of my
colleagues in this body this thought, and that
as it is necessary in this time of war that the
congress of the United States and the admin
istrative department of the nation should act
in the closest accord and sympathy, the leaders
in this body should immediately proceed to re
organize the foreign relations committee of
this body, so that the chairman and the mem
bers may have the confidence of the president
of the United States and it may not be neces
sary for him to delegate to Justice Brandeis or
to Colonel House the consideration of the
matter of a declaration of war, with which the
president has absolutely nothing to do.
Thus the senate itself recognizes the danger
that exists in the outcome of following its prece
dent and permitting a senator to succeed to the
chairmanship of an important committee by
right of seniority. The presence of Gilbert M.
Hitchcock in the soes formerly occupied by
William Joel Stone is already a serious embar
rassment to the president.
How Far Will This Practice Go?
President Wilson's invitation to Henry Ford
to stand as a candidate for the United States
senate on the democratic ticket in Michigan
opens a wide door for serious reflection. How
far may the president with propriety go in the
matter of exerting the prestige of his office to
influence an election within a state? Especially,
when the outcome of that election will affect the
makeup of a co-ordinate branch of the govern
ment. Just now, when all hands and the cook
are in accord as to the necessity of giving the
president full support to win the war, it may
seem all right to allow him to express a prefer
ence as to candidates. But such a preference
need not bind the voters, who may do as did the
people of Wisconsin, elect a candidate against
whom Mr. Wilson threw the weight of his ad
ministration. However, it is the hope of all that
United States senators chosen this year will be
in office after the war is ended, and when con
gress has resumed some of the constitutional
power it has now temporarily abandoned in favor
of the executive. In such event, it might be well
if the members were chosen by the citizens of
their respective states, rather than picked by the
White House.' Also, if the president is to select
candidates for the senate, why may not the prac
tice be indefinitely extended? Who will set the
limit?
Propaganda Work Poorly Done.
The Koelnische Volkszeitung sees in the atti
tude of the United States a loss that will offset
anything Germany may gain by a military vic
tory. All the carefully nurtured plans for the
Germanization of this country have fallen to
naught. German control of our politics, business
and industry, educational and other social activi
ties, is now a broken dream, because Americans
woke up in time.
It is indisputable that the kaiser relied on as
surances given him that America would not fight;
his agents felt their work well done and depend
able. At a time when the emperor of Germany
refused to give audience to the American am
bassador, he met in private conference the editor
of a German language paper from Rockford, 111.,
who brought him comforting word from the German-American
Alliance, on which the kaiser
rested in the belief that he already controlled this
country. He knows now how poorly the work of
propaganda was done, how fruitless its harvest.
It is true that nests of disloyalty and treason
were established, but they have in a large measure
been rooted oujand broken up. The great plan
for undermining our national existence and quietly
annexing us as a de facto Prussian province, t
crownland in everything but name, has failed.
Germany deliberately forfeited the friendship
of the United States, and all great advantages to
its commercial and industrial life, because the
purblind leaders believed they had been able to
seduce so many of our citizens away from liberty
that we would not strike a blow to defend that
liberty. And for generations yet to come the Ger
man people will be paying for the blunders com
mitted Li Potsdam.
Three million men under arms by fall means
Uncle Sam is on the job alj right.
- Christianizing the Hun
The Glorious Mission of Americans in Europe
Henry Watterson in
- War, however, is less and less a drama.
It has become a butchery. Chivalry has gone
out of it. The black flag, promising no quar
ter, floats over land and sea. Yet never did
a people appeal to the arbitrament of arms
with less predatory intention than the people
of the United States, when, after enduring
for three years unspeakable outrage, they
accepted at last the German challenge, and
declared "thus far shalt thou go and no
farther."
We hear much of units. There are units
and units. But the ego unit seems under a
cloud. It is vanished from the foreground.
Shall the sense of personal accountability
vanish with it?
God forbid I Though we muster by
millions we still move as men Christian
men and we must come back from the war
the men we1 were. No manly standard must
be lowered. Among other great ends to be
achieved is the civilizing and the Christian
izing of the Hun. When we have driven the
kaiser-horde out of France and Belgium and
back across the Rhine; when the Star
Spangled Banner floats over Potsdam and the
strains of its glorious music fill the streets
of Berlin; when the saber-rattler has hit the
dust and the Imperial Schloss has been con
verted from a royal palace jnto a school of
reform, the first lesson to be taught in words
of one syllable shall be an exposition of the
confidence game played upon the Teuton
masses by the Hohenzollern, who, under the
plea of seeking "a place in the sun," elevated
a selfish, dynastic interest into a national
and racial ambition.
This was adroity planned by Bismarck in
1870. When in 1914 autocracy, represented
by William the Damned, believed it was
ready the rest of Europe half asleep the
cry of Vaterland let slip the dogs of war.
"On to Paris 1" was the word, the idea being
that, with France in deadly grip, Germany
might say to England, "What are you going
tc do about it?" As for the United States,
if a thought was cast so far to windward, the
the Courier-Journal.
German-Americans planted here betisnes
would take care of the situation. V
From the first the scheme was forecast in
these columns. We plead for action. But
we plead in vain. If our plea had been heed
ed the war would now be over. The pro
fessional politicians are a timorous, time
serving set. As a rule all our parties "are
out for a sure thing." Three years lost, we
get into the fray not only at a critical mo
ment, but at a certain disadvantage. Never
theless, better late than never.
What we shall lose in material resources
let us hope we shall gain in spiritual regen
eration. We have not yet fully "awakened
to it, but the sword that we draw is in the
fullest sense the sword of the Lord and of
Gideon the star that, shining above us,
leads us onward, is the star that shone over
Bethlehem the call to battle is the voice of
God bidding us be stout of heart and sure
of stroke, as, hip and thigh, we proceed to
smite the Hun and all his works and ways.
"Give me liberty, or give me death," was
not, when Henry uttered it, merely a blatant
trick of speech. It rang out from the soul
of a patriot and seer, the expression of the
inner thought, and imminent need of a peo
ple who had resolved to be free. The
menace to the colonies from England was
not then nearly as great as is now the menace
to the world from Germany.
The kaiser has made himself half brother
to Satan. Even as Satan said to Jesus, the
kaiser said to the Germans, "fall down and
worship me and I will give you all lands 1"
That was not an appeal for the fatherland.
It was a cunning lure to trade avarice. It
was a false promise, a spurious claim, of the
Hohenzollern. That it fell on willing ears
shows the dull materialism of the German
character, Still they seem undecevied. Still
they hail The Day. Alas, for human cred
ulity. When it dawns they will learn how
autocracy has bamboozled and betrayed
them; but when it closes they will have ad
vanced, as we shall have advanced, in spirit
ual grace, the world a better world to live
in, the ego unit the personal sense still
vital in the heart of man.
Financiers Farm on Big Scale
Wall Street Backs a Wheat Factory in Oklahoma
New York Times.
The choicest wheat land on 16,0t 0,000
acres of several Indian reservations is to be
cultivated by a combination of talent from
Wall Street's highest circles. Their names are
a guarantee that the nominal capital of
$2,000,000 will be enlarged according to the
necessities of the undertaking, if it shall
prove of 'promise. The first unit will.be
seeded this fall, and next year there is ex
pected a yield of several million bushels,
with greater prospects eventually.
This is an interesting new departure. Our
worst organized industry is to be managed
like a manufacturing industry, with chief re
liance put upon machinery. It is singular
that Americans have been so backward in the
use of tractors, mechanical mules, which they
invented, and which are more appreciated
abroad than at home. Tractors are baby
"tanks," and they were the salvation of.for-
The Lust for Money
The announcement that during the first
four months of the current year more than
$2,000,000 was embezzled by dishonest em
ployes is n impressive reminder that the
inordinate greed of gain decrees that man is
not always the master of money, but that too
often money is master of the man. Nothing
can be gained by philosophizing on man's
cupidity and his purpose to appease his cov
etous desire, even though he surreptitiously
takes that which belongs to another. Theft
is a crime as old as man himself, and it will
Rave to be dealt with for generations to
come. It cannot be condoned by any condi
tion or circumstance, and yet the courts often
absolve a criminal, or exercise a clemency
tantamount to justifying his act. The man
of probity and honor, be he poor or rich, is
beyond the reach of the lure of gold. His
peace of mind and his good name the "im
mediate jewels of his soul" are not in the
market to the1 highest bidder. Most young
men live on moderate means, and live hon
estly; nor do they believe that because they
have little they are licensed to rob.
During 1916, according to figures collated,
more than $31,000,000 were pilfered from
various corporations and other businesses,
but transportation companies were the heavi
est losers, the total sum being estimated at
more than $15,132,750. Banks and trust
companies lost $3,793,271, insurance com
panies more than $755,000 and benefit or
ganizations $7,534,700. As heavy as these
sums are, they do not represent all the em
bezzlements during that year, for many
banks and trust companies, as well as mer
cantile houses, believe that the policy of si
lence concerning defalcations is best. That
there is wisdom in this course cannot be
gainsaid, but as a rule banks have their own
systems by which to discourage attempts at
embezzlement. The policy of frequently
shifting accountants, bookkeepers and tell
ers affords small opportunity tor doctor
ing" the books or accounts. The figures
used represent only the losses that in most
, i -j; -j t i;
cases nave oeen aajusiea uy oonaing com'
canies.
The Fidelity and Casualty company of
New York reports for the 12 months end
ing December, 1917, the tollowing detalca
tions: -
"Banks and trust companies. .$3,793,271.00
Beneficial associations 7,534,700.00
Public service 357,530.09
General business 2,335,333.06
Insurance companies 755,158.87
Transportation companies ....15,132,750.00
Gourts and trusts 37,728.00
Miscellaneous 996,827.69
Total $30,943,299.21
New York Journal of Commerce.
eign agriculture when the cultivators were
called to the colors. This year Maryland
bought four American tractors. France took
1,500. Michigan was enterprising and bought
1,000 tractors for its farmers' use. But Eng
land took 4,000, and expects to take 6,000 if
deliveries in small lots can be enlarged. Penn
sylvania allowed the great sum of $50,000 in
aid of tractor cultivation, and New York
acquired 61,(but Canada took 1,000 tractors
from the United States In addition to what it
could make for itself. And so the list runs
on, culminating in the proposal of the Wall
Street farmers to put millions into machinery
and run their leased land like a wheat fac
tory. A tractor costs $1,000, more or less, and
it is worth several men or mules. A girl or
boy can run a tractor, and this sub-standard
labor from the cities surpasses that from the
country of the same class. The city beats
the country machinist even as the Wall Street
farmers challenge the rustics from the prai
ries. It has been said that 18,000,000 horses
on 6,000,000 American farms eat enough
grain to feed 40,000,000 people. The Tractor
Trade Journal estimates that 200,000 tractors
will be made this year, and it is sure 'that
they will eat no corn or oats, while they will
produce more than otherwise would be pos-
siDie, considering tne laDor shortage.
With farms on the enlarged scale of the
Wall Street farmers, and run like a combi
nation in restraint of trade, it requires little
imagination to foresee that those who per
form the labor will not live on the land, any
more than millhands eat and sleep in the
factories. They will live in towns, and be
taken to and from their work in motor trans
ports or trolley cars. They will work union
hours on yearly hirings, and they will learn
the farm trade as mechanics learn their trade.
It is a move in a more oromisine direction
than the formation of equity societies and
nonpartisan leagues to make society over
to remedy the shortcomings of incompetent
farmers. So long as land was free, any
body could make a living from land and be
a farmer of a sort. But when land is worth
$100 an acre, more or less, it takes a higher
talent to make farming pay and feed the
world. Machinery will work the miracle,
and wan street will finance the farmers in
proportion that they rise to their opportunity.
The Federal Reserve bank ruled that farmers'
notes, including supposably notes of Wall
Street farmers like any others, are eligible
for rediscount when given for tractors.
Old-fashioned farmers are lamenting the
shortage of muscle. The new sort of farm
ers are replacing muscle with brains and
capital. Soon there may be more food grown
than can be used, and there will be a cry for
the reduction of prices belcw the level neces
sary for the new equipment of talent and
machinery. They can be driven from the
farm more easily than they were attracted
to it.
A Batch of Questions.
"Kensington, Kan., June 13. To the
Editor of The Bee: Will you please
tell - us about Madam Schumann
Helnk? We have heard rumors that
she has not been loyal to America. I
see nothing In The Bee about It
How many sona has she In the serv
ice? We have heard that her oltfest
son is In the German army, but that
three are In the United States army,
Can you enlighten us any?
Waa there not a law passed by Ne
braska that no German, newspaper
should be published in the state?
Several come to this town yet
Wasn't there a law passed against
meetings being held where the Ger
man language was spoken?
Was there net a law passed forbid
ding the teaching nf Rsrmin In
schools in Nebraska?
Kindlv answer those fn n In Tk.
Bee, for I believe many want to be
enlightened on these things I have
asked. FLORENCE WILCOXSON.
Answer: (1 Mm SKhnmgnn.
Heink, is a Bohemian by birth, nat-
urauaea in America, and intensely
loyal to her adopted country; her na
tive inclination is adverse to Ger
many, and this has been Intensified
by her experience.
(2) The Bee does not have positive
information as tn thn tinmhtr nf enne
she has in the service of the United
btates, but it has been reported that
three of them are. In addition, she
has tendered her own services to the
government, and it was publicly stated
in May that she was to go to France
to Sine for our nnlriifra thnra nns
of her sons by her first marriage, who
remained in uermany, has been re
ported to be in the German army.
(3) No law has been passed in Ne
braska forbidding the publication of
a newspaper in the German language.
There is a growing Bentiment, how
ever, against such newspapers.
(4) No law has been passed forbid
ding the use of the German language
at public meetings. The practice is
generally discouraged, though, and
the only place where the language is
now used is in a few churches, and
these under permission, with the un
derstanding that the minister trans
late his own sermon into English and
deliver it in both languages.
(5) The law requiring that German
be taught in the grade schools in Ne
braska was repealed. It is optional
in the high schools and colleges.
Corn In Potato Patches.
Omaha, June 15. To the Editor of
The Bee: There are so many potato
patches in Omaha, large and small,
that can still be utilized in raising 90
day corn and add a great deal to the
corn and fodder supply, that I want
to give the experience we had at the
Rlverview Home fllnncr tVlot lino Tttta
years ago in a patch of four or five
auiea me superintendent of the Home
Planted 90-dav enrn haf-araan tna
tato rows nhniit- tha miHlia t Tr..
- ' """"1 UUO
and raised about 135 bushels of corn
oesiaes naving a good supply of fod
der. Last vpnr f r Rovt
the same plan with about the same
result, both as to corn and fodder.
The thought has come to me that this
experience mignt give profitable em
nlovment tn th h
- " w " ' " 511 IB UL
Omaha, besides adding to the supply
uurn, ana me loader would help
iut wonderfully if savor! nnfl iriu.r,
those needing It, In ease the owners
themselves had no use for it.
a. w. mi.ul.er, Probation Officer.
A FRIEND O' MINE.
Sometlmeg me thinks that all this strlf
la awfully hard to boar!
Sometimea me thlnka a amillng: face.
n awiuny nara to wear!
And then, I leek a friend o' mine;
Ana epena a little time.
Away f. am all the worried thlnga,
ciaim my aoui and worry bring:.
Oh, whafa thla world without a friend!
oome unaerstanmng, he to lend
place to bury all our sorrow,
To greet with cheer the coming morrow.
This world Is not so bad a place,
11 we set not ao fast a pace!
And spend a little time of ours
In sunny, green and leafy bowers.
J!
Do we not lose half our soul.
In the endless climb for the arolden troal?
Then rest a bit and spend more time.
TOgetner witn a mend 0' mine.
Mildred Goodman Sltzer,
Shenandoah, la.
LINES TO A SMILE.
People and Events
Bismarck, N. D., and Berlin, Neb., "still
stick to the map, but Potsdam, N. Y., insists
on a change of name.
Great as its charms were in years past,
in the present McAdoo era a railroad pass
looks more than ever like real money.
Kentucky's inheritance tax sleuths have
dug down to the tao ro ts of the estate of
L. V. Harkness. deceased Standard Oil mag
nate. Back taxes are now being sought
against $90,295,000 instead of $52,000,000.
Among the stock included in the estate are
shares in the Standard Oil company of Ne
lfaska valued at $1,500,000. Final success
means a race day holiday for all Lexington
I IODAV
3nei Year Ago Today in the Wat.
General Pershing given ovation by
treat society audience at Opera Com-
qua in pans.
Russian duma voted in favor of an
mmediate offensive In co-operation
with allies.
British aviator destroyed German
Zeppelin Z-48 after & bomb dropping
. raid over the east coast of England.
rh bay We Celebrate.
Frd P. Hamilton, cashier of the
Merchants' National bank, born 1878.
- Frank A. Shotwell, attorney-atlaw,
born 1X1.
Prof. Sir-William Crookes, one of
the world's greatest authorities on
physical research, born in London, 8t
years ago. '
Mrs, William Jennings Bryan, wife
of the former secretary of state, born
at Perry, 111, 87 years ago. --v..,
ThU Day in History. . , .: ; '
, 1778 English transports bound for
r.oston .were captured by American
cruisers.' -v
, iBiz itresiaent Mad son issued a
proclamation, as directed by act of
congress, announcing the declaration
of war with Great Britain.
1881 Federal under General
? yon defeated the confederates under
oeneral ;Marmaduke at Boonevllle,
IS 10 England and Germacv
-ached an understanding as to the
iimdaries ot their respective posses-
3 ja Africa .
J ust SO Years Ago Today
The committee appointed by the
city council met to confer with the
Knights of Labor regarding the
Fourth ot July celebration.
It reauired nln Pullman rnnrhaa in
accommodate t the Nebraska, contln-
gent to the national republican con
vention at Chicago.
The ball game between the Tetter
St Young and 3. 3. Hardin teams re
sulted in favor of the visitors with a
score of 13 to 8, Hughes of the home
club' making a home run.
" '
W. D. Burgess, formerly of Al Mo-
Donald & Co. of St Joseph, made his
first trip on the road last week for
M. E. Smith St Co.
" A hundred persons heard Father
McDonald's lecture at Boyd's opera
house. - The subject was "The Foot
prints of Eminent Irishmen on the
vonuneni 01 Europe."
State Press Comments
Nebraska City Press: The Omaha
Bee is still proving that money do
nated to the "German Red Cross" by
citizens ot Nebraska, two or ' three
years ago, was sent to Count Bern
storff, German ambassador to Wash
ington, and by him turned over to
the notorious Dr. Dernburg, the head
and brains of the German spy sys
tem in America. Thousands of dol
lars were paid over by citizens ot
Nebraska to collectors for Dernburg,
not a dollar of which, so tar as is
known now, was ever used for the
purpose tor which It was intended by
the donors.
Beatrice Express: The recent in
crease in passenger rates and the com
ing boost in freight rates has served
to some extent to explode tho idea
that ownirg a railroad was like unto
having a 1 government mint working
for you alone. Bear stories of various
kinds were told by those most enthu
siastic for federal ownership ot the
roads but thus far little evidence that
railroad men possessed vast stores of
gold has been produced.
Grand Island Independent: The
United States Army Recruiter, a pub
lication printed for the advancement
of recruiting throughout the country.
publishes a cartoon that should be of
special interest to Nebraskana It is
a horse race with five entries and the
horses are going across the line In a
certain hea In the following order:
San Francisco, New York. Minneapo
lis, Chicago, Omaha. Nebraska's me
tropolis is in tome class.
Right to the Poin'
Minneapolis Journal: The French
have taken the village of Dammard,
though they found it not so Dammard
to take. '
Kansas City Star: Secretary Lan
sing declares that the only way to
peace with Germany is to go on with
the war. To go on with it clear to
the end of the way and then some.
Minneapolis Journal: The Ameri
can marines are at home on the
Marne. Fresh water or salt It's all
the Bame to them when the word to
fight comes.
Washington Post: The enormous
drop in the German birth rate is not
without Its compensation, as the luck
iest thing that can happen to a boche
baby is not to be born.
Louisville Courier-Journal: The
young man who regrets that he is of
draft age if such there ie could
find 100 men ot his acquaintance who
would give their years and their
chance for bis.
Minneapolis Tribune: It's dollars to
doughnuts the American boys on the
Marne are afraid to tackle one thing
the pronunciation of the names ot
some of those French towns. )
New York, Herald: "Make Prussia
hate war," Says Secretary Lansing.
Sure! Give the Prussians and all
other Germans so much of war that
they will not talk war or think war
for at least a century. A. southern'
contemporary suggests that the way
to accomplish that is to "rearrange
the Prussian landscape so as to make
It harmonize with the landscape of
Belgium and northern France." It
.that la the only way, It will be done.
Twice Told Tales
The Right Spirit.
President John Grier Hlbbens of
Princeton said the other day:
"It costs $10,000 to make an air
man, and no airman should be fool'
ishly reckless, for his country can't at
fcrd to lose him.
"I like to think of the Princeton boy
who was asked, when he went from
his training camp to the front:
' 'Well, are you prepared to de for
your country?"
'"Not a bit of it, said the young
airman. Tm prepared and well pre
pared to make about six Huns dally
die tor tneirsr" Washington star.
The Literary Bent. :
One afternoon two young women
one of them of literary bent, chanced
to meet on a train and after the ice
was broken they exhaustively con
versed on various topics dear to the
feminine heart.
"By the way," remarked the liter
ary one. Anally side-tracking fashions
and sweaters for the soldiers and in.
troducing her favorite subjects, "do
you care for Crabb's Tales?"
"I never ate one in my life." was
the rather startling rejoinder of the
other, "but I am just crazy over lob
sters." Harper s Magazine.
Experience.
He Darling, you are the first wom
an I ever kissed.
She You don't do it like an ama
teur. He How do you know? Balti
more American.
turn en a switch, and then read a oovat
while tha Ironing waa being done." touts
Ilia Courler-JournaL
Ha Couldn't you find If agreeabla to knll
closer tha tie of friendship between usT
She Couldn't do it. I'm too busy knit
ting socks. Baltimore American.
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H
Awaiting Th3
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When the Stork Arrives
"Why do you use such a lonsr cltar-
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"The doctor told me to keep away from
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'There's a woman peddler at the door.
sir."
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harem ?" Awgwan.
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iron."
"Why ao, Stella T"
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Speak Slowly
When You
Telephone
Never before has the
demand been so insistent
for speed in telephone
service
In days like these, when things are done in a great
rush, there is a tendency on the part of telephone users
f to attempt to hurry their calls and give numbers rapidly.
Some people ask for numbers so hurriedly the operators
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I
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NEBRASKA TELEPHONE COMPANY
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