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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 3, 1918)
! The Omaha Sunday Bee OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 3, 1918. Everybody Has a Hobby! Tell What's Yours , ( TVM Comb Honey By EDWARD BLACK. Home Life of the leffingwells. Mrs. Leffingwell was making a men tal survey of the day as she sat at her kitchen table after the evening chores had been finished. Mrs. What's-Her-Name had called during the afternoon to discuss neighborhood news. The particular object of her recent atten tion had been a young man whose fre quent visitations to the habitat of a fair maid had aroused the curiosity of those who dispose of their household work by 9 a. m. and have the remain der of the day to devote to welfare work -among their neighbors. Mrs. What's-Her-Name confided the infor mation that the young man of her ob servation1 played a ukulele divinely, wore a fur collar on his overcoat and could roll a cigaret with one hand. She was worrying for fear that the young ivoman toward whom the light-hearted male specimen directed his footsteps several times each week might throw her little life away by marrying him. How to devise ways and means to avert such a marital catastrophe was bringing premature gray hairs to the head ; of Mrs. What's-Her-Name. While she was losing perfectly good health worrying over the goings and comings of her neighbors her own daughter was qualifying for a mem bership in the I-Don't-Care club. Mrs. Leffingwell did not lend aid and comfort to her censorious neighbor. She belie ed that she had all that she could properly attend to if she looked after her own affairs and protfcoted the physical and mental welfare of her husband, yclept Henry Leffing well. Mrs. Cut-Some-Ice had called over the telephone to ask Mrs. Leffingwell if she knew of a panacea for snoring. This neighbor, whose soul was much troubled, had a husband who was ad dicted to snoring during the solemn watches of the night A relative was expected for a week's visit and she sought to avoid probable embarrass ment by putting a quietus upon her husband's nasal rhapsodies. Mrs. Leffingwell looked thtough all her re cipe books and almanacs and when she found the desired information she exclaimed: "Here it is; I've found Ul" whereupon her words were fol- The Weekly Bumble Bee OMAHA, TH WEEKLY BCMBLE BEE, A, STINGER, EDITOR. Communication! on any topic received, - without postage or all-Datura, Mono returned. NO ADS AT ANT PRICB. TAX-HETEB. Irwall M. Dawaon of Madison, . Neb., aent hie Income tax return to Collector Loom la with the i following poem, which may or , may not be original: . A ube root waa a almpla thine For him to calculate. How many cent would belt the earth, - Re could elucidate. The fourth dimension he had found. , ' The softest anap In life, And ho could even straighten out, - The check book of hli wife. With care he tracked the ., comet'i eourae, The path that It should burn. But loat hla reason making out, An INCOME TAX RETURN. f CORPORATION. "The bill waa Introduced by Representative Howard, who la regarded aa a joke," stated . letter read at tha packing In fiulrr In Chicago last week. , We d Ilka to hire a, hall and turn our Jerry loose on the ' writer of that letter. Jerry , would make a joke of him In just about two awltchea of dead lamb'a tall. , ." :i : FILM. - ' Thle week's helpful hint to scenario writers: Why not write s story In which the rich fa- : ther diaowns his son when the latter marries poor though worthy girl T A happy ending . can be riven to the atory by having tha rich father recon ciled when ho sees his first grandchild. . . , REVERENCE. - A paint Journal prints , parody on "Keep the Home rires Burning." to Instil! "pep" Into the paint salesmen and to raise the fams of this particular paint still higher. The author of this parody will probably go on to oven greater heights and , try his .hand on . "Rock of Ages" next ,; " I ..'scoop." ; The Bnmbls Beo leads all other newspapers In announcing that on the lth of next month It will ho year sine w en tered the (-rent war. the car SOIL. .." ' Tread reverently open the ground. Our fats and that of, the whole world depends upon what ths soil shall bring forth this summt- "r TaitUxcrtane lowed by a loud noise emanating from the sitting room. The noise sounded like the dropping of the end- fate of a coal wagon, but in reality Irs. Leffingwell's exclamation had aroused her husband, whose ' feet slipped from their support and caused the lord and master of the house to fall from his easy chair like a ship sliding down its ways. "So you've found something at last!" testily retorted the foreman of the place, picking Himself up like a bear with a sore head. "By the way you keep things in this house I am unable to understand how you ever find anything you want when you want it." Leffingwell had been upset, physi cally and mentally. His dignity had been given a setback. His wife wanted to laugh, but she suppressed her merriment for the time being and resolved to have a good laugh on the morrow when her husband was at work. She feigned a sympathetic se riousness by inquiring: "Henry, did you fall?" That only made matters worse, because she could have seen with half an eye, or with three-fourths SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH -r WHY DOES A STREET CAR STOP AT THE FAR SIDE OF THE STREET? Bumble Bee Grapples With New Problem and Is Treparcd to Answer Queetlons of Its Readers, The near-side stop lew for our street cara Is now In effect. A almpla rule to remember In connection with It la that 'If a ear does not stop on the near aide It will stop on the far aide." , I,euialer has another simple rule which Is that "on all paved streets (except 40 or 60) the cara will atop on the near aide." For example, where there are "branch off curves like Tenth and Farnam streets, the cars will stop at the far side, Ths cara will also stop at ths far aids on some other paved streets where "local conditions" make It desirable. When snow covers ths street so that atrangera cannot tell whether there la paving or not. It might be a good Idea to carry a email shovel with fold Ins handle, t The anow can then be removed from a small spot. If paving ta found tha rule holda good and the ears atop at tha near side, provided that there ts no "branch off" curve. To make sure, therefore, the excavation ahould extend In a diagonal lino across the corner. If the street is paved and If there la no "branch off curve. IN OUR TOWN. How much wheat and meat did you deny youraelt last weekT I Ed Black reports that It is only It days till spring. Did you paaa all through Auto ahow week without knowing that Clarke Powell's middle name is draff T H. K. Buahnell, executive sec' et'ry to Uurd. Wattlea, the food magnate, made hia maiden speech laat Tuesday before the County Treasurera' association. Vlo Smith, former newspaper man and now secretary of the business men's association, wel comed another little Smith to his home last week. This makes three little Smiths at the smithy. FRIGHTFILNESS. , An Omaha genius suggests that It tha Omaha "Welcome arch" were transported to France and set up along the battle front, the Qermana would be so disgusted at sTght of It that they would retreat By moving the arch up after each retreat Frits would eventually be forced across ths Rhine. The suggestion will not be carried out. Wo have, so far, conducted our aide of the war without brutality and we shall not begin now. , GROWING. "Oosh!" Thla exclamation was exclaimed by our hero as he stood at Seventeenth and Douglaa and looked west one bright morning in March, IBIS. He had Just returned from be. Ing away tor three years. Why did he exolaim this exclamatory exclamation T Because he aaw atops at ths near side.'! If the street Is taot paved or If there la no "branch off curve, the car atopa at the far side. Another excellent plan (for those who do not carry the email folding shovels) Is to stand on tha corner until a car passes, observing closely . on which side It stops. Then the proper position can be taken to await the arrival of the next car. To further assist, the street ear company is expecting to hang signs on ths wires at corners on psved etreets whers ths fsr slds stop obtains In eon. traventlon of the rule In auch ease made and provided. Near sighted people ahould carry field glasses and, when waiting for a oar, should sxamlne the wires carefully, thus easily de termining on which aide the Wattleswagons stop. Ths Bumbls Bee has mads an exhaustlvs study of this compli cated subject and will be glad to answer questions. Address your queries to "Street car pus sis editor.'' AWFUL. Speaking of sickness In the army cantonments, Enmitt C u I n 1 e y says he understands there are mors than 100 esses of Bevo at Camp Funston. FIERCE. Ws did not buy a now car at ths Auto show, but will get slong with our last rear's Pierce-Arrow the new Omaha Athletlo club, the new Hotel Fontenelle, the new Maaonlo temple and the new Nebraska Telephone build ing. Can wo blame him tor ex claiming T Emphatically, no. , SUFFICIENT. ; "For a man of IS with a wife the beet policy la a efralght life or a Inpayment or, better still, a SO-payment" says ths "Advice on Insuranca" man In the Shekawgo Tribune. Here we have two "beat" policies and one that Is even better than the beat DUCKING. Local hunters say the wild ducka seem to know the federal lsw which protects them In the eprlng on their northward flight They are appearing by thousands on ths waters around Omaha, Laat fall whan they were not protected there waa hardly a duck In sight. , FRINTEMPsl OenUe spring. Thou wilt bring 'Most sverythlng To which wo cling. Ding, ding, ding. Our voices ring. Thee ws sing, Gsntle spring. Cares we fling Away, by jlngl , Thou ars king, Gentle spring of an eye, that Henry had gravitated to the floor and was not in a frivol ous mood. Leffingwell gathered himself to gether and resumed his regnant at titude. The fall had started the ma chinery of his mind and there was nothing else for him to do but speak out. As Mrs. Leffingwell sat in her sewing chair, her face suggested: "Out with it, Henry, and choftse well your words." The man of the house Inhaled a fresh supply of oxygen and then he spoke: "I wonder if the Leffingwells have initiative, the power to do things that need to be done, and to do them when they should be done without having to be driven or coaxed, or tempted with premium coupons or promises of reward, or moved by rears of punishment? That is what I have been wondering for a long time. Are the Leffingwells like the bromides that do just the same old things itl the same old way, day in and day out, world without end; or are they like the sulphides that do the un usual things at the right time, are pro pelled by initiative, personal force, 3, 1918. PIFFLE PATRIOTISM REACHES THE EXTREME OF UTTER ABSURDITY Rensmlng German Measles and Similar Moves Don't Hurt the Foe Nor Help Vs. Ths prise Idiotic move to help lick the kaiser ta reported from an army cantonment where, we are told, the soldiers suffer so much mental anguish when they have an attack of German measles .that the name of the malady has been changed to "Victory measles." , Wa don't believe any soldier waa the author of this bright Idea. Wo know ths sound, busi nesslike common senee of our soldiers too welt. We believe It was perpetrated by some thoughtteea correspondent who thought It would make a good story. , It deserves to take Its place at ths head of the column of "puerile patriotisms," thlnga that - cannot possible do one lota of harm to our enemies nor one Jot of good to us, German fried potatoes have , been stricken from our menus. Ger man 'opera has been cut from many programs. Borne patriots, who find real acta of self-denial too burdensome, bosst that thty will not read Goethe while the war lasts! Real patriots and people of sense know that theae idiocies are worse than useless. . But It' Is too bad that our national reputation for efficiency and common sense must suffer be cause a few childish brains put forth these silly Ideas. Rsad Goethe, enjoy German opera, eat German fried pota toes. Thess have nothing in common with Prusslsnism, militarism and ruthlessness which ws are fighting. And above all, don't give the Ger mans a laugh by creating "Vic lory measles." WHERE? "Walking from New Tork to Frisco on a wager of $10,000." a young tramp paased through Omaha laat week. He waa the first of hla species seen here this year. There must be at lesst 17,000 men and a tew thousand women walking from New York to Frisco on "wagers" each sum mer. The "wager" la never for less than 010.000. The tourist of last week stayed here aeveral days, playing a hand organ on the street We once asked a transcontinental tourist, "Who la betting thla 135,000?" He waa greatly embarrassed. . ' PROPHECY. Don't bo disheartened by the Teuton advance Into Russia. When the greet , . Napoleon marched into that vsst em pire It waa the beginning of his uttsr defeat History la about to repeat itself. This Is a prophecy. A year from now wo will reprint It with a " told you si M.?"11 , SI; l I magnetism, unction or whatever you wish to call it? Are we traveling along in a rut or are we blazing new trails f Are we leading or are we groping along without compass or chart or a copy, of the city ordinances?" "You don't want to get well, dad, you don't want to get well," was Wil lie's first ineptitude of the evening. The youngster almost broke up the meeting, but Prexy Leffingwell kept a steady hand on the control lever and continued his personally conducted tour through the realms of thought. "The call for leaders is heard on every hand. We need leaders men and women jwho will do things, who know how to do the right thing at the right time, and have initiative. Who don't have to be told just what to do or when to do it or how to do it; who have daring and ability; who have initiative. One of the most elo quent words of our language is ini tiative. It is the word that, makes the world go around. Initiative has given us . invention, base ball stars, breakfast foods, safety razors and wrist watches. Initiative is the great dynamic force of humanity." "Say, dad, have you ever had a face massage?" inquired Willie", think ing thus to confuse his sire. Mrs. Lemnwell had reached that point in her philosophy of life where she believed that woman should be something more than an insensate clod, a mere bump on the household log. Her reading had impressed her with the idea that in these latter days women may be heard in the tem ple and even may be a conscientious onjector to some of the opinions of mere man. She had never been of the clinging-ivy type, but yearned for mental freedom and regarded the last word as woman s inherent privilege. She believed in the right of free speech in her home and insisted that all of the wisdom of the Leffingwell observatory was not centered in the man whose name had been conferred upon her. Leffingwell looked at the clock and yawned. His wife offered a fewi words to help him over the rough places. "I suppose, Henry Leffingwell," she said, "that you view yourself as a model of initiative. ' There seems to be a congestion of initiative in your system, or perhaps it is all in your head. You have overlooked the fact that one does not necessarily have to be a leader or a doer of great deeds, to have initiative. It requires initia tive to perform the commonplace, the every day tasks to the best of one's ability, without complaining; to meet all of the food, regulations faithfully and cheerfully. Every woman who supports the food administration loy ally has initiative and is a leader, and she does not have to hire a hall to make it known, either." She recalled the lines of Ella Whee ler Wilcox: "Not mine the gifts to win enduring days. - But let mo be remembered In small ways." ' Henry Leffingwell looked at the clock again and yawned. He looked like the man who did not care to re main for a second show. He had noth ing more to say. The oppressive si lence was broken by Mary, who al ways comes in just at the right time to make a pretty stage setting She placed a tiny white flag in the button hole of her daddy's coat and then tripped over to her piano and began to play "Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here. Do You Remember These Former Omahans? H. J. Penfold. Rev. Frank L. Loveland. George Gellenbeck. Carrol G. Pearse. A. H. Waterhouse. MaryG.- Andrews. Homer P. Lewis. W. R. Bennett. Rev. Frank Crane. - Dr. Oscar Putt asl6: "Is every day porkless day on Hog Island?" "Why doesn't the wind blow through the window ' ti? W QMAhA CAares J. By A. EDWIN LONG. Boy Scouts who may have won dered whether Scout Executive Char les H. English ever was a real boy or not, may as well stop wondering. He was. On a farm near Eagle, Neb., where he was born, and where he toddled around the yard and sniffed for ad venture, he tumbled bead first into a rain barrel full of water. That was all because he wanted to fish out a tadpole that drew his attention. He might just as well have been in his mother's arms, but he preferred to wiggle out of such position and ex plore the back yard. ' Now the good hired girl was punching out doughnuts on the kitchen table, whistling, and gawk ing out of the window, when he took the plunge. She stopped whistling and punching doughnuts long enough to drag him out of the barrel by the heel. But the rain barrel was not suffi ciently dangerous, so the youngster began to play around an old well out in the field far from the house. The ground was low and the water of the old well stood near the surface. A fire in the past years had burned away the upper curbing and flooring of the well, leaving one charred stake stick ing out of the water. Young English and a. boy friend were poking willow sticks into the water to see how deep it was when the dirt slipped under English, and plunged head first into the well He came up twice, once heels first, and once head first. The second time his pal shouted, "Grab that stake; grab that stake," and English grabbed. Once more he was saved for the future Boy Scouts of Omaha. After the experiences in the rain barrel and the well, he learned to swim. He became a regular pickerel in the water, but his mother never ap proved of these activities. She threatened to come to the lake and get him and "get him" hard if she ever found he really went in. - One day she slipped to the lake quietly just to do a little spying on her son. .. . Of course he was there in water up to his ears. She could not coax him ashore, for she had a big piece of wil low timber clutched suspiciously in her fist She carried his clothes home, and when the youngster had endured the chill of the water most of the after noon, he ran home through the streets of Eagle with nothing but his skin to cover Lku and with his teeth rattling like hail on a tin roof. When this checked his swimming escapades temporarily, he fell 20 feet off the roof of the house by way of diversion. Of course, it must not be understood that he really meant to fall off. What he really meant to do f S "Na. ft'. was to become as expert in skipping around on the roof as the sparrows were. . To keep this youngster from jolt ing his neck out of place, or joining the fish- or turtle- tribe in the mill pond, the family moved to Lincoln. There he was graduated in the high school, and became assistant in the Young Men's Christian association physical training department. He followed this work in Central City, Exeter and Beatrice, but after two years of it went to Chicago to get further training. There he was graduted in the Young Men's Chris tian association college. He special ized also in the University of Chi cago on sociology and allied subjects. At the same time he began a course of medicine at Northwestern univer sity, thinking seriously he would de velop into a doctor. I His eyes gave out and he had to stop the study. .During all his life, however, when he was not swimming, chasing tad polesin a rain barrel, drowning him self in a well or chasing sparrows on the roof, he was reading detective stories. He was sure Sherlock Holmes was a greater man than George Wash ington. Now, in Chicago he got an oppor tunity to put his theories of detective work into practice. He made appli cation on the police force of the roar ing city and became a third class de tective. For weeks he and another detective chased white slavers until they entered the very den of the gang one night on the lake front. The fight started and was finished in a few short seconds. English's pal was kicked out of the door and off a highboard sidewalk. "English next felt the heel of a white slaver in his short ribs; he sailed through the air and over the edge of the board sidewalk also. The sidewalk was 12 feet high, or so it seemed to the youthful detective. He fell on. top of his friend, who lay groaning below, and when the two could crawl out of the mess they handed in their stars to the chief of detectives and pronounced detective work no good at all. Of course the detective department could not have used English for three weeks after that, for he had three ribs broken in the fight. - . Next he entered the high school physical . training work in Chicago. Soon he passed the civil service ex amination as a director of a com munity center. He worked in one of the toughest districts of the Windy City, where for. a time he could jab ber Yiddish, Polish, Belgian and Rus sian at least he could say, "Good morning" in these language?. Next he was graduated into the class of experienced recreation teach ers. He was being considered by the head office in Chicago when the call As a rule the man with a hobby it looked upon as a crank and especially so when he insists upon constantly keeping in the foreground with the hobby. However, there are excep tions to the rule. J. M. Fulton is one of the exceptions and his hobby is an other exception. Mr. Fulton is the owner of a home on North Twenty-fourth street, a lit tle way north of Miller park. While keeping the appearance of his home neat and clean is something of a hob by with Mr. Fulton, bucking snow is his real hobby. Regardless of where his future abode may be after he leaves this earth, his one desire is that he may go where there is snow and plenty of it, for if there was not snow he. would not be happy. During the last few months there has been considerable snow in the vi cinity of Miller park, but, regardless of how much there has been, little has remained on the Fulton property for any great length of time. While he is not a professional snow shoveler, Mr. Fulton is enough of a snow re mover to keep the snow going, and if any stops and seeks to rest on his sidewalk, or in fact upon his grounds, it has to be pretty active snow. So thorough has Mr. Fulton been in his work that he is admired by all of his neighbors, even if they do not follow his example. While he has no grudge against the snow, whenever it commenced to fall upon or about the premises Mr. Ful ton is on hand to buckle into it and see that it is removed. As a result, while other sidewalks are covered knee deep with snow, that around Mj, Fulton's house is clear and clean. A, it is thus that he has won the admirv tion and good will of everybody in the north part of the city. While the po lice are handing out notices, ordering the removal of snow from sidewalks, Mr. Fulton sits back and chuckles with glee, for always long before any inspector can get around hunting snow-covered, walks the Fulton walk is as clean as a whistle. John Paul Breen's hobby is telling fiinnv ctnrv He has a debonair a . t. .... j w-w-j. - - mnnripr nf nresentincr his mirth-oro- voking yarns His face grows radiant when he starts one, or nis stones, ne knows how to time his cheerful chat ter so that it will do the most good. He never rushes the listener. The followine is a sample of his merry monologues: ' "Mose was a judge out in the state snm voarc arm TT was known for' his penchant of taking cases under advisement. He was awfully delibera tive. He got a notion that if he would go to Alaska he might gather in gold taster tnan Dy tne practice or iaw. ih hnaf met a wirlow who was bound for Alaska in quest of gold and a soul mate. Mose ana tne wiaow rrianrprl tn rphirn nn the same boat and during the voyage it was agreed that it was necessary to their future happiness that they should marry each other. Arriving at Seattle, thev went to a minister. The widow read ily agreed when asked if she would take Mose as her lawfully wedded riiisrianrl. anrl Mose asrreed to accent the widow as his lawful wife. "Then the judge asked Mose this question: 'Do you promise to love, cherish and support this woman?' Mose thought a moment and saia: 'You said love, cherish and and I'll have to take that under advise ment."' ; " Monroe Reeves, managing editor of The Bee, has a hobby of skating. On many a cold day this winter, after he had put the afternoon editions "to bed," he would put on his over coat, hat, ear tabs, gloves, etc., take his shining skates and a West Far nam street car and hie him to tha little park at Thirtieth and Farnam streets, where he would put on his skates and go gliding over the ice in the most graceful fashion, cutting figure eights and writing whole sen tences like "Keep your eye on The Bee Improving every day." After an hour or two of this he would take his skates off and take an East Far nam car back to the office, feeling full of pep. Horseback riding is the hobby ol T.' C. Byrne of the Byrne-Hammer company, the chairman of all Nebras ka's activities in the second Liberty Loan drive and director of the Fed eral Reserve bank of this district. - He is an inveterate rider. He is up and at it often before daylight, ana any summer morning will find him in the . parks when it is yet so ear'y that his horse is the first living creature in the park to brush the dew from the grasses. Mr. Byrne is considered one of the real good riders and good horsemen of Omaha. Al Gordor. makes war upon dande--lirvne all summer lone He has developed the murder of dandelions to a fine art. He is a regular despot over his crop. So much of a despot is he that he has eliminated .them, and now has a lawn which is a source oi envy to his neighbors. To do this h liarl to make a hohbv of nunchine dandelions. No morning hoar was too unearthly tor him to begin nis work. Every summer morning the first streaks of red in the east will find him on hands and knees on his lawn digging dandelions. Many a morning he is said to have slain roonmpnte. of dandelions hv 4:30. and the noonday sun has withered beyond recovery wnoie oattauons ana am sions of the slain. came from Omaha, where there was a place for him as superintendent of public recreation. He was advised by many in Chicago not to go to Oma ha, but he said, "No city ought to reach the size of Omaha without hav ing a concrete ' program of public welfare work,", and he decided to come. A year ago when something more than$19,000 was raised to pu! the Boy Scout movement on its feet, English was selected as the proper man as scout executive, or commandant, as it were, of the scout forces of Omaha. The scouts of Omaha number nearly 1,000 and every mother's son of a scout will swear that scoutdom orig inates with English himself, that he is the biggest scout of the universe and that if he should fall, scoutdom would fall and die with him. ' Next tn This Series- How Omaha Co' Our Liggett.
