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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 17, 1916)
4 J A ' THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 17, 1916. B"'- i 'ii ' "'-l''iT V j 1 ' ' ' ' ' "' ' I , . i - I aii .iM .mtl alllc to mi." Loulsvtlle THE OMAHA DAILY BEE , FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATU , VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR THE BIB PUBLISHING 00 M PANT, ttatVSKWK Eataras Omalu aoatafflaa aa Mm tlaaa mtitm. , - . TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. . . ' Br Cun f B0 aratk VliVi Dnr ea . 'MI v4thAM RnnJav 4S. EvntnK 4 Bmdtf.....! Sa Kvenlni without Saaaar i " n.ll. mA Sniulu lit tkrM nm tn adnata, Sit-". 81 aottea of etui at xMnu M Inwralarltr Hvwr to Owb B . Clrcnltlo Dpnnnt. r to t REMITTANCE. K a traft, mm or muI oHr. Onlr !" "" Ukn In mimnl f mill MtM. PitwmI ". xcttrt m Ouka uxl autafll aartanta. t "W OFFICES. . Oauua Tha Bm Bnlldtnc- Saatk Om.ha SS1S N itrMl ' Coaactt ilufd 14 North Mite atrast. Uneol ttl Llttlt SoUdlnt. Clileato SIS Pmvlt'l Ou BnlMtot. Nn Tirk Rotm SSS, 1M PUth anaae. St Lnta SSS New Bulk tl Coamaraa. tuMnttt-tU Ftutwitt rtttt, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. AMmm ananaaleatlma nltttnt to am aMl eSHorW mattar to Oaiaaa Baa, IMHarlal Daaartnaiit. JUNE CIRCULATION , 57,857 Daily Sunday 52,877 Dwtctt WftHaiaa. ttnalatlaa tt Taa Bm Wtar aata avara. M wat tat inntl alrralatiaa far Ilia aaau al Jaaa, lilt, waa 1.SS1 aallr an St,SlT SanSar. - DWIOUT WILLIAMS. OUeatoHf ataaatar. ' BahatHaai la ait prttfta aaa swam to btfora aM lab d ear at i.lr. ft& SaWtWs laarbf tka ally teBporarfly iktaU kT Tka Bm aaaliad to tkaa. A4 draaa will ba ahuf ad aa aftaa aa reqaeatad. .:. Over the speedwty fence Ii wL . j Who asked, "Ii It hot enough for you?" J When England aayt, "Let George do it," it . means the Welshman, not the Hanoverian. No matter what the scarehead ihowe the ' Deuttchland has a cinch on the submarine pen - In revising the list of world wonders, the : democratic invasion of the dry Iowa belt should not be overlooked. J The prospect of a fleet of ariships crossing the : Atlantic will excite more curiosity than surprise. The neutral world is surfeited with surprises. j The "Little Giant" of Kebraska democracy will note with due emphasis that the sixty-year prece- dent does not apply to judgeships for friends with a bigger pull, i ' While the Italians are sticklers for home art ' and the scenic splendors of . its mountains, no harm befalls home industry in blowing up the tops of enemy peaks. . Due regard for his job, not over secure, nerved the efforts of King Alfonso to keep out of trouble abroad. The home supply of trouble re quired undivided attention. Much depends on the point of view. - State Food Commissioner Harman finds the loftiest and purest sentiment in petitions for a six-year job, but is unable to grasp the literary merit of the label on patent medicine bottle. The fortune of Hetty Green, living, mocked the teal of tax ferrets. It is now up to the courts of Vermont and New York to say whether ' her system in ghostly garb can scare off the inheritance tax collectors of two state. Some day when republics are not at angrate ful as they are charged, the army aviators who ran out of gasoline in a Mexican desert and hiked forty-five mites to camp, will get s medal of merit big enough to utilise as a sunshade, , British naval authorities report, several weeks after the event, that two additional German war craft were sunk in the North Sea naval battle. The belated revised list indicates that the British embarrassment of "low visibility" is slowly van' ishing. -,' ' The Bee's free milk and ice fund Is day by day performing its mission of mercy for the tf lief of, hot weather babies. : If you want to help a good cause along this Is the place to make a contribution and be sure it will do the work In . tended. .:: . .. . . Men of experience and apportunities for obser vation agree that crop conditions in Nebraska at the present time were never better. These assur- ancet assist city dwellers to a keener appreciation of the uplifting power of heat waves from baked pavements. . , ." - ;. The celebrated "deserving democrat," James M. Sullivan, certified to San Domingo by W. J. Bryan and bounced by President Wilson, pulls . himself into the limelight once more with a claim for damages against England for putting him in jail in Ireland during the April revolt The ' claim promises to give the State department a second dose of Sullivanesque worry. Nebraska Press Comment ' Hastings Tribune: A bunch of rough-necks picked an Omaha policeman and threw him into tne lake, .rernapttthe copper really needed the bail). ; .'.,v ,;. - . York Republican: "Some day some nation win pay on a loan ana surprise tne rest says The Omaha Bee. A surprise like that might have been staged by this country some time ago, but c : .:.l . i 7 ui vui nucule win, ucmurauc auminisira' (ions. -' , '- . ' .," ' ... - Beatrice Express: A Nebraska boy, raised on a farm near Tecumseh. has risen to fame In New York because of his poses of Grecian sub jects. The women's clubs of the American metropolis herald the young man, Paul Swan, by name, as "the most perfect physical man." In Nebraska perfect men physically attract but little attention, they are so common. They are being born daily on Nebraska farms, and thanks to their own good sense, most of them are staying where they tan breathe pure healthy Nebraska air. - ., Kearney Hub: A protest against the high handed efforts of Food Commissioner Harmon in boosting the constitutional amendment to per petuate himself in office, has broken out in Har lan county in the form of a petition to the gov ernor requesting his removal. The wonder is that this action has not been taken before, and it is stilt more strange that Governor Morehead has ignored state clamor against the Harmon tartiea. Part nf tha miarhif Iib ln .u-- already been done, for Harmon's emolovei ami agents have secured the necessary petition, con- muiiiiu ncwrij w,uw namca, asxing zor suomis aion of the amendment ...- The Thrills That Kill. People who attended the auto races at the Omaha Speedway are not complaining that the exhibition was tame or that they were victims of a bunco game. They experienced the thrills that kilt or, rather, the thrill produced by killing, namely two accidenta with one fatality and that seems to be the height of racing sport It is a popular mania, perhaps not developed here more than elsewhere, to see daring men, as it were, toy their lives. The people want thrills and insist upon having then at any price and at any cost of life and limb. But, what's the good of it and what is ac complished after it is all over? It is only a ques tion of time when the law that put an end to dueling and to knockout prize fighting will inter pose a restraining hand on the auto-speed maniacs. Water and the Thrlety Corn Fields. Billions of cubic feet of water are impounded back of the Pathfinder dam; thousands of acres of corn in western Nebraska thirst for that water. To bring the two together means to turn the idle water into golden dollars. Why is it not done? Because the reclamation aervice of the United States has stored up the water and feels that it has a right to keep it What for? To irrigate the dry lands of the semi-arid region it is in tended to serve. Well, why doesn't the reclama tion service let the water go to the corn fields that need it? Nobody outside of official Washing ton seems to know. The Pathfinder dam was constructed to store up waters of the North Platte that ran away useless. Great ditches were built and many acres Of land were brought under cultivation, until the limit was reached. Further down the river are other acres of land, much needing irrigation, but now deprived of the water that is held idle by the Pathfinder. This isn't at all in keeping with the purposes of that dam. It may be that some red tape will have to be cut, and some technicalities overlooked, but the fields now drying up ought to have that water. It wouldn't matter a great deal if the Pathfinder reservoir waa emptied during the next six' weeks. A lot more water will pour down from the mountains of Colrado and Wyoming and replenish the store, and the corn in the crib will look a lot better than idle water behind, the big dam. Democrats Dodge Child Labor. In making up its program of "imperative legis lation," the democratic steering committee of the senate has decided to allow the Keating child labor bit! to lie over until December. This meas ure waa passed by the house several months agd, and sent to the senate, where it has been held up by the influence of the southern cotton mill own ers, who are the ones chiefly concerned in its de feat Although the platform adopted at St. Louis says, "we favor the speedy passage of an effective federal child labor law," the dominant party pre fers to exclude the messure from the list of things to be done, and will fritter away the rest of the present aession of congress in debating the ship ping bill, defeated st the last aession, and almost at surely doomed to defeat in the present The deliberate evasion of a real Issue will not be over looked by the voters, who can not be fooled again by the tham of s platform promise so openly Ignored. ' The democrats prate loudly of their devotion to the reform involved in the Keating bill, but they dare not face the test of Its passage, for fear of offending the cotton baront of the touth. . , 1 : ', ; ITOhAV Education and Fsrming. The criticism of farmers for haphaxrd methodt of horse raiting uttered by Dr. C. W. McCamp belt of the Kansas City Live Stock Registry board before the convention of Missouri Valley veterinarians, applies with equal force to nearly all branches of farm' production. A lack of in telligent management is evident in many direc tions. Waste of material and energy spring1 from attempting too much, resulting in little being well done. Intelligence applied to fewer things brings better and more satisfactory returns in the long run. In farming, as in all other activ ities, knowledge makes for success, and the meas ure of success it in proportion to the knowledge spplied. . A recent report on farm life in New York state shows that one farmer in three makes money and only one in twenty-eight makes $2,000 or more a year, That this poor showing it due to poverty of knowledge and shiftlessness is proven ' by the fact that farmers with a high school education make double and college men treble the profits per acre than do the unschooled farmers. In the west the unschooled farmer; as a rule, won s competence through hard knocks, rich lands and the rising valuea of products and acres. The later farmer, requires more capital, more knowledge of soils, and the indispensable hearti ness which converts raw material into the best paying marketable commodity. Today more than ever before the farm offers the greatest rewards for intelligent energy. No other occupation more surely guarantees independence. : Plea for Nonpartisan Support. In his speech at Detroit thepresident pleads for "nonpartisan" support, urging that voters forget party and rally behind his pretensions to a second term. It is characteristic of democrats to resort to this sham patriotism whenever threat ened by defeat , The hollowness of the maneuver, nor ita exposure, is not sufficient to deter them from its practice. They are slways "nonpartisan" when seeking for votes In republican states, but we yet have to hear the cry raised by them any where in the sunny touth, where democratic ma jorities are reliable. But the democrats are never nonpartisan when making plant for government, or when carrying out duties devolving on them. The present administration, for example, has vio lated the civil service law in letter and spirit, and has arbitrarily created 30,000 positions under, the government to be filled by "deserving democrats." Mr. Wilson may be a nonpartisan in Michigan, but he's s good democrat in Georgia.1 ' ... g : . A British prite court solemnly vindicates the steamship Wilhelmina and orders payment for the' confiscated cargo. Even though vindication comes too late for Wilhelmina living, it is worth while knowing that she was built on the square and guiltless of wrong. Vale, Wilhelminal ; Even if a state bank charter could bt arbi trarily refused, the way would remain open to secure a national bank; charter. An over-supply of banking facilities in any community cannot be stopped to long at there it more than one tource of bank charter supply. ' Small wonder that Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria, almost 86 years old, is reported criti cally ill. Many younger sovereigns of Europe are woefully sick of their surroundings, Thought Nugget for the Day. Truth is a cave; to him who only stands out side all is dark, but to him who boldly enters in and loks out into the sunlight, all is clear. Dun can MacGregor. One Year Ago Today in the War. Van Mackensen broke the Lublin-Cholm line at Krasnostaw. . Paris reported German infantry attacks in Argonne, Lorraine, Vosges and Alsace repulsed. Italians captured two passes 10,000 feet high, after throwing back an Austrian assault. British board of trade inquiry into destruction of Lusitania resulted in verdict absolving all but the Germans. This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago. The suit of the heirs of the Folsom estate to get possession of their property on Sixteenth and Dodge atreets, now used as a aaloon by An drew Nelson, has been appealed. William A. Paxton has returned from a trip through northern Kansas and southern Nebraska. He reports that the dry weather of the last month has had a disastrous effect on the crops and that the outlook is a dreary one. Colonel J. J. Dickey has gone to Rapid City to inspect the extension of the Western Union Telegraph line to that point. . "Mrs. Thomas Swobe and children, E. T. and Dwight, have left for Laramie, where they will remain for a short time, after which they will go on an extended visit to Idaho. The picnic of the Plattdeutchert took place at Brandt't garden and wat a most pronounced suc cess. The procession to the park was marshalled by Louis Heimrod, whose assistants were J. Bush ovy 6 non biocks and C. Grotmack. Twenty policemen, under com mand of Marshal Cuming, assisted by Captain Cormack and Sergeants Matia nd Mostyn, led the line. , . , Mr. J. C. Reagan, late of Des Moines, presi dent of the Thompson & Houston Electric Light company, has moved his family to this city and will hereafter reside here. Today in History. 1763 John Jacob Astort whose great fortune was made through faith in the future of the United States, born at Waldorf, Germany. Died in New York, March 29. 1848. 1812 The American commander surrendered Fort Mackinac to the British. 1816 Jacob Reed, an officer of the revolution and United States senator from South Carolina, died at Charleston, S. C. Born in South Carolina in 1752. , 1824 Tench Coxe, famous publicist, who was the first to urge the people of the south to culti vate cotton, died in Philadelphia. Born there, May 22, 1755. 1841 "Punch," England's famous humorous publication, first issued by Mark Lemon, Douglas Jerrold and othera. 1861 Mexican congress suspended payments to foreigners for two years. 1864 General Johnston was succeeded by Gen eral Hood in the defense of Atlanta. 1866 The Italian army captured Borgeforte from the Austrians after a aiege of twelve days. 1870 The French declaration of war against Prussia was signed. 1894 President Cleveland signed the act ad mitting Utah to statehood. 1896 The Venezuela arbitration correspond ence between Secretary Olney and the Marquis of Salisbury was made public. .1898 The United States flag was hoisted in Santiago de Cuba, following the evacuation of the ritv hv the Soaniah trooos. 1909 Great British armada of more than 150 ships assembled id the Thames. This Is the Dsy We Celebrate. Frank S. Howell, former United States dis trict attorney, is 53 yeara old today. He was born in Atlanta, Ga., and his first law practice was at Loup City, Neb., and later at Albion and Blair, before removing to Omaha in 1900. Edward F. Leary ia just 33 years otd. He waa educated at Creighton university, graduating nine years ago from the taw department of that instituion. .' Dr. Bernhard Dernburg, late chief of the Ger man propaganda in the United States, born fifty one years ago today. General Henry S. Huidekoper, civil war com mander and intimate friend of Abraham Lincoln, born at Meadville, Pa., seventy-seven years ago today. Right Rev. John McKim, Episcopal missionary bishop of Tokio, born at Pittsfield, Mass., sixty four yeara ago today. Bishop Wilson S. Lewis of the Methodist Episcopal church, born at Russell, N. Y., fifty nine years ago today. Rita Fornia, widely celebrated as a dramatic soprano, born in San Francisco, forty years ago today. Where They All Art Now. ' Lee Spratlen, remembered as police commis sioner of Omaha, it with the Burlington legal department at Chicago. J. B. Wootan, many yean with The Bee, is now editor of "Public Service." Chicago.. E. J. Cornish is a resident of New York, where he is directing extensive interests in the white lead business, but he always looks over Omaha's parks when he revisits hia home town. Fred H. Cosgrove, former city comptroller, is in business in Minneapolis. ' George W. Craig, former city engineer of Omaha, ia city engineer of Calgary, Alberta. Robert Larmer, with the freight auditing de partment of the local Burlington offices for many yeara, is in the Chicago offices of the Burlington. Timely Jottings and Reminders. A hearing will be held in London today on the appeal of Roger Casement, recently convicted of high treason and sentenced to death for com plicity in the Irish rebellion. Delegates will begin to assemble at St Paul today for the prohibition national convention, which will be called to order Wednesday after noon. The National Association of Cleaners and Dyers will meet in Louisville today for a session of four days. Thousands of delegates are expected in Boston for the opening of the biennial national conven tion of the Ancient Order of Hibernians. A movement to oust the present officials of the Western Federation of Miners is expected to come to a head at the annual convention, opening today at Great Falls, Mont t Today marks the beginning of the final week of the Texas democratic primary campaign, in volving the choice of a United States senator, rep resentative in congress, a complete state ticket and the question of submiting state-wide prohibi tion to a vote of the people. The third annual convention of the National Association of Governmental Labor Officials will begin its tessions today at Buffalo. Storyette of the Day. ' ' ' .'- Mrs. Autoun wanted new shoes, so she went Into a shop, where an obliging assistant brought out a selection for her to try one. "That'a strange, madam," said he, after many vain attempts to fit her. "One of your feet it larger than the other." Brittling with rage, the lady left that thop and tought another.- Here, again, the assistant failed to find a pair which would do. "How curious, madam," he said, "one of your feet is smaller than the other." And with a beaming smile Mrs. Autoun bought two pairs. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. lafutllti Pvj1. Omahi, July 15. To th Editor of Th Bm; Cilled in mtdical "Polioray litit anterior acuta," was known and da cribd by HippoeratM, a Oracle physician. 400 B. C, alio by Galen of Crete in 170 A. D. It was thoroughly described by many others since, as by Underwood ia 1784, Shaw In 1822, Badham in 1885, Jacob Heine in 1840, Cornil in 1868, Provost and Vulpian in 1865, by Charcot, Sequin and many others since, to the present time. Its tissue changes in the spinal eord and the characteristic symptoms have been weil described and everywhere known to scholarly men, yet the profession does not succeed well in the treatment of patients thus afflicted for the reason that they attempt to treat the disease Instead of treating the patient. Their philosophy of life and disease, born out of the ignorance, errors and superstitions of a credulous age, arc not in harmony with modern evolutionary -ecience. They are ob sessed with - germophobia, and blinded by the financial rewards of the germ theory, aa the fundamental, primary cause of disease. They refuse to see the truth that chemical and biological factors in the blood stream are primary, and the presence of germs a secondary matter They do not see the truth that a relatively pure blood stream la ample protection against any germ and all forms of disease. So-called pathological germs cannot live and do harm in a pur blood stream. But when from violations of physiological laws and sanitary precaution the blood stream is impoverished and vital forces weakened for lack of proper and auffieient food, so often found among the poor in our cities, or among the wealthier class of people who arc overfed with excess of various kinds where elimination of wast matter is imperfect and henc then is an accumulation of chemical substances that impair tissue resistance and pollute th blood stream making a soil where th germ can proliferate and destroy the patient, then disease Is produced, Then is no good reason whatever, for Injecting millions of dead bacteria, or se rums into a human body to kill pathological germs or to prevent disease when then la a far better way of purifying th blood stream so no germ can exist then and do harm. The medical profession is wrong In teaching people to look outside of them selves for the causes of disease. Th truth la, w build our own diseases, by our in tense emotions, perverted functions, Improper feedings and failure to eliminate Injurious chemical substances, that strictly speaking, constitute an auto-intoxication. Germ exist everywhere in nature. In health and disease, and they can do no harm in a body pro tected by a pure blood stream. Epidemics and endemics feed upon those who have a poisoned blood stream, and stop where then Is no auto-intoxication. Disease cannot go fnm person to person when the life Is properly lived and the blood stream relatively pun. The common teaching and beliefs of the medical profession are old superstitions unworthy of those who can and do think. Infantll paralysis is not to be handled with drugs, serums, or vaccines, but by sanitary condition, right thinking, right living and a strong vital resistance reinforced by a relatively pure blood stream. The day is coming when people will be ashamed to be sick. The physician of the futun will be a teacher rather than a dope giver. The so-called germ theory of dis ease and th method of treatment em ployed by most physicians an, like vaccina tion, an Insult to my intelligence, and the common sens of thinking people. The trouble that yon meet in life An of your own design; They come and go according to Th way that you incline. - You must not blame the oil or lamp Or pumping wick between. The trouble is your own neglect. Your burner Isn't clean. Bramleykitc. DR. L, A. MKRRIAM. Delusions About th Lords. Benson, Neb., July 15. To th Editor of Th Bee: John Redmond denunciation of the marquis of Lansdowne's speech delivered In the House of Lords on Tuesday last pertaining to the provisional government of Inland until a new government can bo established, is preposterous. Far from being a declaration of war on th people of Ire land, H is a declaration of wisdom. Th majority of th people of the United State labor under th delusion that th House of Lord la composed of a lot of boobs. They an mistaken. Th marquis of Lansdowne, chairman of the House of Lords, is on of th shrewdest and most logical men In Gnat Britain. THOMAS HENRY WATKINS. Americanism First. Omaha, July 15. To th Editor of Th Bee: I notice that then I being experi enced some considerable difficulty In deliver ing progressive party men wholesale. This la exactly what I expected and I would hav been very much disappointed otherwise. Th progressive party 1 made up of men who believe In something, and It Is hard to de liver that kind of men. And then is plenty of room for dlfferene of opinion as to what progressives should do In th coming election. I, frankly, have doubt. I consider the present administra tion about a uncertain, wabbly and ama teurish a It Is possible for a man of ability to mak It, and the appointments about as disgraceful as possible, consistent with good intentions, but if I believed that the cham pioning of Hughea by the hyphens meant th leaning of Hughe by th millionth part of an inch toward surrendering any part of hi Independence to any foreign element, I would be for Wilson tf he hadJeen wrong all of th time instead of only two-third of th tim. To me, then I Just on question worth whil before the American people today. That la, is then an American people? An we a nation or just a jumble of discordant laments T Have we the courage of our con viction, granting that we hav any convic tion, or an we so enamond of ease and prosperity and the full belly that we will submit to anything rather than fight? De we want our boy brought up to take kicks and cuffs from every bully rather tnan come horn with an occasional black eye? To m it teems patent that then 1 no measuring th harm that Wilson has don along this line. Hughes couldn't b worse, therefore X am for Hugh, at th tarn time granting Wilson all his good intentions. Hav ing demoralised, with his false standards of courage, and his official recognition of flab bines and slacking, the young men of the country, he now And himself in a position when he must try to undo all this and, out of these same young man, build up an army. I hav been for Roosevelt, I am still for Roosevelt, who created the issu of Ameri canism, and who did th only sensible thing in refusing to accept a nomination on the third party ticket, after the nomination of Hughe. Hughes, after personal Interviews, has been able to satisfy Roosevelt's rather too fervid patriotism and Americanism. If he Is right on that Issue, he Is right for me. Other Issues can wait. Whether we have a country that Is as good as it might be la of secondary Importance to whether we have a country at all. Whether Nebraska hall be dry or wet Is important: whether men shall hav good or starvation wages is Important ; whether women and children shall work under healthful conditions or the reverse is important; whether officials shall be honest or dishonest Is important; but all these can wait. The thing la to hav a country of our own men and women of courage to assert their right to work them out without outside interference. Wil son makes for flabbiness, vacillation and un certainty. There Is nothing la th history of Hughes to indicate such tendencies. Therefore I am for Hughe. H. W. MORROW. WHAT CITIES ARE DOING. Philadelphia claims that in Broad street It has the beet lighted street In the country. Pitaburgh has seven public playground which an open all th year, thirty-one summer playground and four public ewi na ming pools. Detroit Is trying out a new system on Its local street ear lines, by which the cars stop only at every other street crossing. "Can your husband drive a car?" aeked one feminine suburbanite of another. "Drive a car," repeated the wife, with fine scorn, "Why, that man can't even drive a nail." Baltimore American. Wife I must aend these shoes back. Hubby What' the matter, don't they fit youT Wife Tee, perfectly, but I ordered a site smaller.- Judge. Employer Toung man, I'm afraid you have deceived me. Tou told me when 1 employed you that you were a college grad uate. New Clerk Beg pardon, but what reason have you for doubting It, sir? Employer Why, you Just said In regard to a matter connected with the bualnese that 1 knew more about It than you did. Indianapolis Star. OUCMES MAKE HIM AUJyiWS VEX YOU "I am out of work, sir; and" - "Sue here, my man, I gave you 60 cents last week." "Well, sir, you've earned more since then, haven't you?" Puck. First Urchin I'd ruther be Mr. Hughes than Mr. Wilson. Second Urchin Why? First Wouldn't have so much face ter wash. Boston Transcript. An old railroad man sat with a friend on a hotel plassl as a string of chappies went by In their flashy togs. "Passengers or freight T" smiled the friend. "Empties," said the old man. Judge. "These connoisseurs are wonderful chaps. They know all the distinctions In wines. They can tell the difference In cigarettes." "Um. They must be wonderful chaps. t'Tm a a i 8 "Do you have to resort to Irrigation In your country?" asked the New Yorker. "Oh yes. at times," replied the southerner. "And what do you use?" Mu. "Oh, sarsaparilla or glnrr ale.' Tonkai Statesman. Nexdore You said that you'd give my boy a box on the ear. Naybor (truculently) Well, would you like to take It to him? Boston Transcript. "Science state that girls are getting taller rB"Whaty if "girls get so tall that men can't walk with them?" , , m "Fashion will introduce some kind of a bend." Puck. "I hear when you went to Smith' houae to argue the question with Smith be kicked you out." "Not quite that. 1 checked hta advance by partially transferring myself to a neigh boring sector." Baltimore American. THE BOY THAT WINS. Edgar A. Guest, In Detroit Free Pres. When the hair about the temples ttarta to how the len of gray And a fellow realises that he's wandering far away , . , From tho pleanures of hie boyhood and his youth and nevermore Will know the Joy of laughter as he did In days of yore. Oh. It'e then he starts to thinking of a stubby little lad i With a faee as brown berries and a soul supremely glad. When a gray-haired dreamer wanders down the lanes of memory And forgets the living present for the time of "use-to-be." He takes off his shoes and stockings, and he thrown his coat away, And he's free from all ret rict Ions, save the rult'S of manly play. He may be In tattered garment, but bare headed in the sun He forgets hie proud successes and the riches he haa won. Oh, there's not a man that llveth but would give his all to be The stubby little fellow that In dreamland he can see. And the splendors that surround him and the joys about him spread Only seem to rise and taunt him with the boyhood that has fled. When the hair about the temples begin to show time's silver stain. Then the richest man that'a living yearns to be a boy again. CZortj Nat Jackton Boalnanl The Hotel Success of Chicago VOUR busy day in Chicago can best be managed from the New Kaiserhof. The hotel's excellent service, its convenience for the quick transaction of business, its proximity to theatres, shops and public buildings make it the ideal headquarters for a crowded day. 450 Rooms $1.50 up With Bath $2.00 up Try a Colorado Vacation! Cool Convenient Economical Only $17.50 for Round Trip Tickets on sale daily to Sept. 30. With long return limit "Rocky Mountain Limited" and other fast trains on convenient schedules daily. Automatic Block Signals Finest Modern All-Steel Equipment Superb Dining Car Service 1 "57 Tickets, reservations and literature on request J. S. McNally, D. P. A. 14th and Farnara Sit. W. O. W. Bldf. . tk A MnthaVt&Wicf. k rm w aae tsw ho nrctfietd 'R&julatar Co-, Is that sbe ma go through the trying ordeal of motherhood with as Uttle pain as poesible this can bey s reality when "Mothert Friend" i hat been used regularly preceding confinement. ' Get "Mother's mend" at your druggist Persistence is the cardinal vir tue in advertising; no matter how good advertising may be in other respects, it must be run frequently and constant ly to be really successful. 1 1 v