Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 17, 1916, Page 4, Image 4

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    4 J A ' THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 17, 1916.
B"'- i 'ii ' "'-l''iT V j 1 ' ' ' ' ' "' ' I , . i - I aii .iM .mtl alllc to mi." Loulsvtlle
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
, FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATU
, VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THE BIB PUBLISHING 00 M PANT, ttatVSKWK
Eataras Omalu aoatafflaa aa Mm tlaaa mtitm.
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81 aottea of etui at xMnu M Inwralarltr
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REMITTANCE.
K a traft, mm or muI oHr. Onlr !" ""
Ukn In mimnl f mill MtM. PitwmI ".
xcttrt m Ouka uxl autafll aartanta. t "W
OFFICES.
. Oauua Tha Bm Bnlldtnc-
Saatk Om.ha SS1S N itrMl
' Coaactt ilufd 14 North Mite atrast.
Uneol ttl Llttlt SoUdlnt.
Clileato SIS Pmvlt'l Ou BnlMtot.
Nn Tirk Rotm SSS, 1M PUth anaae.
St Lnta SSS New Bulk tl Coamaraa.
tuMnttt-tU Ftutwitt rtttt, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
AMmm ananaaleatlma nltttnt to am aMl eSHorW
mattar to Oaiaaa Baa, IMHarlal Daaartnaiit.
JUNE CIRCULATION ,
57,857 Daily Sunday 52,877
Dwtctt WftHaiaa. ttnalatlaa
tt Taa Bm
Wtar aata avara. M wat tat
inntl alrralatiaa far Ilia aaau al Jaaa, lilt, waa
1.SS1 aallr an St,SlT SanSar. -
DWIOUT WILLIAMS. OUeatoHf ataaatar. '
BahatHaai la ait prttfta aaa swam to btfora aM
lab d ear at i.lr. ft&
SaWtWs laarbf tka ally teBporarfly
iktaU kT Tka Bm aaaliad to tkaa. A4
draaa will ba ahuf ad aa aftaa aa reqaeatad.
.:. Over the speedwty fence Ii wL .
j Who asked, "Ii It hot enough for you?"
J When England aayt, "Let George do it," it
. means the Welshman, not the Hanoverian.
No matter what the scarehead ihowe the
' Deuttchland has a cinch on the submarine pen
- In revising the list of world wonders, the
: democratic invasion of the dry Iowa belt should
not be overlooked.
J The prospect of a fleet of ariships crossing the
: Atlantic will excite more curiosity than surprise.
The neutral world is surfeited with surprises.
j The "Little Giant" of Kebraska democracy will
note with due emphasis that the sixty-year prece-
dent does not apply to judgeships for friends with
a bigger pull, i '
While the Italians are sticklers for home art
' and the scenic splendors of . its mountains, no
harm befalls home industry in blowing up the
tops of enemy peaks.
. Due regard for his job, not over secure,
nerved the efforts of King Alfonso to keep out of
trouble abroad. The home supply of trouble re
quired undivided attention.
Much depends on the point of view. - State
Food Commissioner Harman finds the loftiest and
purest sentiment in petitions for a six-year job,
but is unable to grasp the literary merit of the
label on patent medicine bottle.
The fortune of Hetty Green, living, mocked
the teal of tax ferrets. It is now up to the
courts of Vermont and New York to say whether
' her system in ghostly garb can scare off the
inheritance tax collectors of two state.
Some day when republics are not at angrate
ful as they are charged, the army aviators who
ran out of gasoline in a Mexican desert and hiked
forty-five mites to camp, will get s medal of
merit big enough to utilise as a sunshade,
, British naval authorities report, several weeks
after the event, that two additional German war
craft were sunk in the North Sea naval battle.
The belated revised list indicates that the British
embarrassment of "low visibility" is slowly van'
ishing. -,'
' The Bee's free milk and ice fund Is day by
day performing its mission of mercy for the tf
lief of, hot weather babies. : If you want to help
a good cause along this Is the place to make a
contribution and be sure it will do the work In
. tended. .:: . .. . .
Men of experience and apportunities for obser
vation agree that crop conditions in Nebraska at
the present time were never better. These assur-
ancet assist city dwellers to a keener appreciation
of the uplifting power of heat waves from baked
pavements. . , ." - ;.
The celebrated "deserving democrat," James
M. Sullivan, certified to San Domingo by W. J.
Bryan and bounced by President Wilson, pulls
. himself into the limelight once more with a claim
for damages against England for putting him in
jail in Ireland during the April revolt The
' claim promises to give the State department a
second dose of Sullivanesque worry.
Nebraska Press Comment
' Hastings Tribune: A bunch of rough-necks
picked an Omaha policeman and threw him into
tne lake, .rernapttthe copper really needed the
bail). ; .'.,v ,;. - .
York Republican: "Some day some nation
win pay on a loan ana surprise tne rest says
The Omaha Bee. A surprise like that might have
been staged by this country some time ago, but
c : .:.l . i 7
ui vui nucule win, ucmurauc auminisira'
(ions. -' , '- . ' .," ' ...
- Beatrice Express: A Nebraska boy, raised
on a farm near Tecumseh. has risen to fame In
New York because of his poses of Grecian sub
jects. The women's clubs of the American
metropolis herald the young man, Paul Swan, by
name, as "the most perfect physical man." In
Nebraska perfect men physically attract but little
attention, they are so common. They are being
born daily on Nebraska farms, and thanks to
their own good sense, most of them are staying
where they tan breathe pure healthy Nebraska
air. - .,
Kearney Hub: A protest against the high
handed efforts of Food Commissioner Harmon
in boosting the constitutional amendment to per
petuate himself in office, has broken out in Har
lan county in the form of a petition to the gov
ernor requesting his removal. The wonder is
that this action has not been taken before, and
it is stilt more strange that Governor Morehead
has ignored state clamor against the Harmon
tartiea. Part nf tha miarhif Iib ln .u--
already been done, for Harmon's emolovei ami
agents have secured the necessary petition, con-
muiiiiu ncwrij w,uw namca, asxing zor suomis
aion of the amendment ...-
The Thrills That Kill.
People who attended the auto races at the
Omaha Speedway are not complaining that the
exhibition was tame or that they were victims
of a bunco game. They experienced the thrills
that kilt or, rather, the thrill produced by killing,
namely two accidenta with one fatality and that
seems to be the height of racing sport
It is a popular mania, perhaps not developed
here more than elsewhere, to see daring men, as
it were, toy their lives. The people want thrills
and insist upon having then at any price and at
any cost of life and limb.
But, what's the good of it and what is ac
complished after it is all over? It is only a ques
tion of time when the law that put an end to
dueling and to knockout prize fighting will inter
pose a restraining hand on the auto-speed maniacs.
Water and the Thrlety Corn Fields.
Billions of cubic feet of water are impounded
back of the Pathfinder dam; thousands of acres
of corn in western Nebraska thirst for that water.
To bring the two together means to turn the idle
water into golden dollars. Why is it not done?
Because the reclamation aervice of the United
States has stored up the water and feels that
it has a right to keep it What for? To irrigate
the dry lands of the semi-arid region it is in
tended to serve. Well, why doesn't the reclama
tion service let the water go to the corn fields
that need it? Nobody outside of official Washing
ton seems to know. The Pathfinder dam was
constructed to store up waters of the North
Platte that ran away useless. Great ditches were
built and many acres Of land were brought under
cultivation, until the limit was reached. Further
down the river are other acres of land, much
needing irrigation, but now deprived of the water
that is held idle by the Pathfinder. This isn't at
all in keeping with the purposes of that dam. It
may be that some red tape will have to be cut, and
some technicalities overlooked, but the fields now
drying up ought to have that water. It wouldn't
matter a great deal if the Pathfinder reservoir
waa emptied during the next six' weeks. A lot
more water will pour down from the mountains
of Colrado and Wyoming and replenish the store,
and the corn in the crib will look a lot better
than idle water behind, the big dam.
Democrats Dodge Child Labor.
In making up its program of "imperative legis
lation," the democratic steering committee of the
senate has decided to allow the Keating child
labor bit! to lie over until December. This meas
ure waa passed by the house several months agd,
and sent to the senate, where it has been held up
by the influence of the southern cotton mill own
ers, who are the ones chiefly concerned in its de
feat Although the platform adopted at St. Louis
says, "we favor the speedy passage of an effective
federal child labor law," the dominant party pre
fers to exclude the messure from the list of things
to be done, and will fritter away the rest of the
present aession of congress in debating the ship
ping bill, defeated st the last aession, and almost
at surely doomed to defeat in the present The
deliberate evasion of a real Issue will not be over
looked by the voters, who can not be fooled again
by the tham of s platform promise so openly
Ignored. ' The democrats prate loudly of their
devotion to the reform involved in the Keating
bill, but they dare not face the test of Its passage,
for fear of offending the cotton baront of the
touth. . , 1 : ', ;
ITOhAV
Education and Fsrming.
The criticism of farmers for haphaxrd methodt
of horse raiting uttered by Dr. C. W. McCamp
belt of the Kansas City Live Stock Registry
board before the convention of Missouri Valley
veterinarians, applies with equal force to nearly
all branches of farm' production. A lack of in
telligent management is evident in many direc
tions. Waste of material and energy spring1 from
attempting too much, resulting in little being well
done. Intelligence applied to fewer things
brings better and more satisfactory returns in
the long run. In farming, as in all other activ
ities, knowledge makes for success, and the meas
ure of success it in proportion to the knowledge
spplied. . A recent report on farm life in New
York state shows that one farmer in three makes
money and only one in twenty-eight makes $2,000
or more a year, That this poor showing it due
to poverty of knowledge and shiftlessness is
proven ' by the fact that farmers with a high
school education make double and college men
treble the profits per acre than do the unschooled
farmers. In the west the unschooled farmer; as a
rule, won s competence through hard knocks, rich
lands and the rising valuea of products and acres.
The later farmer, requires more capital, more
knowledge of soils, and the indispensable hearti
ness which converts raw material into the best
paying marketable commodity. Today more than
ever before the farm offers the greatest rewards
for intelligent energy. No other occupation more
surely guarantees independence.
: Plea for Nonpartisan Support.
In his speech at Detroit thepresident pleads
for "nonpartisan" support, urging that voters
forget party and rally behind his pretensions to a
second term. It is characteristic of democrats to
resort to this sham patriotism whenever threat
ened by defeat , The hollowness of the maneuver,
nor ita exposure, is not sufficient to deter them
from its practice. They are slways "nonpartisan"
when seeking for votes In republican states, but
we yet have to hear the cry raised by them any
where in the sunny touth, where democratic ma
jorities are reliable. But the democrats are never
nonpartisan when making plant for government,
or when carrying out duties devolving on them.
The present administration, for example, has vio
lated the civil service law in letter and spirit, and
has arbitrarily created 30,000 positions under, the
government to be filled by "deserving democrats."
Mr. Wilson may be a nonpartisan in Michigan, but
he's s good democrat in Georgia.1
' ... g :
. A British prite court solemnly vindicates the
steamship Wilhelmina and orders payment for
the' confiscated cargo. Even though vindication
comes too late for Wilhelmina living, it is worth
while knowing that she was built on the square
and guiltless of wrong. Vale, Wilhelminal
; Even if a state bank charter could bt arbi
trarily refused, the way would remain open to
secure a national bank; charter. An over-supply
of banking facilities in any community cannot be
stopped to long at there it more than one tource
of bank charter supply.
' Small wonder that Emperor Francis Joseph
of Austria, almost 86 years old, is reported criti
cally ill. Many younger sovereigns of Europe
are woefully sick of their surroundings,
Thought Nugget for the Day.
Truth is a cave; to him who only stands out
side all is dark, but to him who boldly enters in
and loks out into the sunlight, all is clear. Dun
can MacGregor.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Van Mackensen broke the Lublin-Cholm line
at Krasnostaw. .
Paris reported German infantry attacks in
Argonne, Lorraine, Vosges and Alsace repulsed.
Italians captured two passes 10,000 feet high,
after throwing back an Austrian assault.
British board of trade inquiry into destruction
of Lusitania resulted in verdict absolving all but
the Germans.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
The suit of the heirs of the Folsom estate
to get possession of their property on Sixteenth
and Dodge atreets, now used as a aaloon by An
drew Nelson, has been appealed.
William A. Paxton has returned from a trip
through northern Kansas and southern Nebraska.
He reports that the dry weather of the last month
has had a disastrous effect on the crops and that
the outlook is a dreary one.
Colonel J. J. Dickey has gone to Rapid City
to inspect the extension of the Western Union
Telegraph line to that point. .
"Mrs. Thomas Swobe and children, E. T. and
Dwight, have left for Laramie, where they will
remain for a short time, after which they will go
on an extended visit to Idaho.
The picnic of the Plattdeutchert took place at
Brandt't garden and wat a most pronounced suc
cess. The procession to the park was marshalled
by Louis Heimrod, whose assistants were J. Bush
ovy 6 non biocks
and C. Grotmack. Twenty policemen, under com
mand of Marshal Cuming, assisted by Captain
Cormack and Sergeants Matia nd Mostyn, led
the line. , . ,
Mr. J. C. Reagan, late of Des Moines, presi
dent of the Thompson & Houston Electric Light
company, has moved his family to this city and
will hereafter reside here.
Today in History.
1763 John Jacob Astort whose great fortune
was made through faith in the future of the
United States, born at Waldorf, Germany. Died in
New York, March 29. 1848.
1812 The American commander surrendered
Fort Mackinac to the British.
1816 Jacob Reed, an officer of the revolution
and United States senator from South Carolina,
died at Charleston, S. C. Born in South Carolina
in 1752. ,
1824 Tench Coxe, famous publicist, who was
the first to urge the people of the south to culti
vate cotton, died in Philadelphia. Born there,
May 22, 1755.
1841 "Punch," England's famous humorous
publication, first issued by Mark Lemon, Douglas
Jerrold and othera.
1861 Mexican congress suspended payments
to foreigners for two years.
1864 General Johnston was succeeded by Gen
eral Hood in the defense of Atlanta.
1866 The Italian army captured Borgeforte
from the Austrians after a aiege of twelve days.
1870 The French declaration of war against
Prussia was signed.
1894 President Cleveland signed the act ad
mitting Utah to statehood.
1896 The Venezuela arbitration correspond
ence between Secretary Olney and the Marquis
of Salisbury was made public.
.1898 The United States flag was hoisted in
Santiago de Cuba, following the evacuation of
the ritv hv the Soaniah trooos.
1909 Great British armada of more than 150
ships assembled id the Thames.
This Is the Dsy We Celebrate.
Frank S. Howell, former United States dis
trict attorney, is 53 yeara old today. He was
born in Atlanta, Ga., and his first law practice
was at Loup City, Neb., and later at Albion and
Blair, before removing to Omaha in 1900.
Edward F. Leary ia just 33 years otd. He
waa educated at Creighton university, graduating
nine years ago from the taw department of that
instituion. .'
Dr. Bernhard Dernburg, late chief of the Ger
man propaganda in the United States, born fifty
one years ago today.
General Henry S. Huidekoper, civil war com
mander and intimate friend of Abraham Lincoln,
born at Meadville, Pa., seventy-seven years ago
today.
Right Rev. John McKim, Episcopal missionary
bishop of Tokio, born at Pittsfield, Mass., sixty
four yeara ago today.
Bishop Wilson S. Lewis of the Methodist
Episcopal church, born at Russell, N. Y., fifty
nine years ago today.
Rita Fornia, widely celebrated as a dramatic
soprano, born in San Francisco, forty years ago
today.
Where They All Art Now. '
Lee Spratlen, remembered as police commis
sioner of Omaha, it with the Burlington legal
department at Chicago.
J. B. Wootan, many yean with The Bee, is
now editor of "Public Service." Chicago..
E. J. Cornish is a resident of New York, where
he is directing extensive interests in the white
lead business, but he always looks over Omaha's
parks when he revisits hia home town.
Fred H. Cosgrove, former city comptroller, is
in business in Minneapolis. '
George W. Craig, former city engineer of
Omaha, ia city engineer of Calgary, Alberta.
Robert Larmer, with the freight auditing de
partment of the local Burlington offices for many
yeara, is in the Chicago offices of the Burlington.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
A hearing will be held in London today on
the appeal of Roger Casement, recently convicted
of high treason and sentenced to death for com
plicity in the Irish rebellion.
Delegates will begin to assemble at St Paul
today for the prohibition national convention,
which will be called to order Wednesday after
noon. The National Association of Cleaners and
Dyers will meet in Louisville today for a session
of four days.
Thousands of delegates are expected in Boston
for the opening of the biennial national conven
tion of the Ancient Order of Hibernians.
A movement to oust the present officials of
the Western Federation of Miners is expected to
come to a head at the annual convention, opening
today at Great Falls, Mont
t Today marks the beginning of the final week
of the Texas democratic primary campaign, in
volving the choice of a United States senator, rep
resentative in congress, a complete state ticket
and the question of submiting state-wide prohibi
tion to a vote of the people.
The third annual convention of the National
Association of Governmental Labor Officials will
begin its tessions today at Buffalo.
Storyette of the Day. ' ' ' .'-
Mrs. Autoun wanted new shoes, so she went
Into a shop, where an obliging assistant brought
out a selection for her to try one.
"That'a strange, madam," said he, after many
vain attempts to fit her. "One of your feet it
larger than the other."
Brittling with rage, the lady left that thop
and tought another.- Here, again, the assistant
failed to find a pair which would do.
"How curious, madam," he said, "one of your
feet is smaller than the other."
And with a beaming smile Mrs. Autoun bought
two pairs. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
lafutllti Pvj1.
Omahi, July 15. To th Editor of Th
Bm; Cilled in mtdical "Polioray
litit anterior acuta," was known and da
cribd by HippoeratM, a Oracle physician.
400 B. C, alio by Galen of Crete in 170
A. D. It was thoroughly described by many
others since, as by Underwood ia 1784,
Shaw In 1822, Badham in 1885, Jacob Heine
in 1840, Cornil in 1868, Provost and Vulpian
in 1865, by Charcot, Sequin and many others
since, to the present time.
Its tissue changes in the spinal eord and
the characteristic symptoms have been weil
described and everywhere known to scholarly
men, yet the profession does not succeed well
in the treatment of patients thus afflicted
for the reason that they attempt to treat
the disease Instead of treating the patient.
Their philosophy of life and disease, born
out of the ignorance, errors and superstitions
of a credulous age, arc not in harmony with
modern evolutionary -ecience. They are ob
sessed with - germophobia, and blinded by
the financial rewards of the germ theory, aa
the fundamental, primary cause of disease.
They refuse to see the truth that chemical
and biological factors in the blood stream
are primary, and the presence of germs a
secondary matter They do not see the
truth that a relatively pure blood stream
la ample protection against any germ and
all forms of disease. So-called pathological
germs cannot live and do harm in a pur
blood stream. But when from violations of
physiological laws and sanitary precaution
the blood stream is impoverished and vital
forces weakened for lack of proper and
auffieient food, so often found among the
poor in our cities, or among the wealthier
class of people who arc overfed with excess
of various kinds where elimination of wast
matter is imperfect and henc then is an
accumulation of chemical substances that
impair tissue resistance and pollute th
blood stream making a soil where th germ
can proliferate and destroy the patient, then
disease Is produced,
Then is no good reason whatever, for
Injecting millions of dead bacteria, or se
rums into a human body to kill pathological
germs or to prevent disease when then la
a far better way of purifying th blood
stream so no germ can exist then and do
harm. The medical profession is wrong In
teaching people to look outside of them
selves for the causes of disease. Th truth
la, w build our own diseases, by our in
tense emotions, perverted functions, Improper
feedings and failure to eliminate Injurious
chemical substances, that strictly speaking,
constitute an auto-intoxication. Germ exist
everywhere in nature. In health and disease,
and they can do no harm in a body pro
tected by a pure blood stream.
Epidemics and endemics feed upon those
who have a poisoned blood stream, and
stop where then Is no auto-intoxication.
Disease cannot go fnm person to person
when the life Is properly lived and the blood
stream relatively pun. The common teaching
and beliefs of the medical profession are
old superstitions unworthy of those who can
and do think. Infantll paralysis is not to
be handled with drugs, serums, or vaccines,
but by sanitary condition, right thinking,
right living and a strong vital resistance
reinforced by a relatively pure blood stream.
The day is coming when people will be
ashamed to be sick. The physician of the
futun will be a teacher rather than a dope
giver. The so-called germ theory of dis
ease and th method of treatment em
ployed by most physicians an, like vaccina
tion, an Insult to my intelligence, and the
common sens of thinking people.
The trouble that yon meet in life
An of your own design;
They come and go according to
Th way that you incline. -
You must not blame the oil or lamp
Or pumping wick between.
The trouble is your own neglect.
Your burner Isn't clean. Bramleykitc.
DR. L, A. MKRRIAM.
Delusions About th Lords.
Benson, Neb., July 15. To th Editor of
Th Bee: John Redmond denunciation of
the marquis of Lansdowne's speech delivered
In the House of Lords on Tuesday last
pertaining to the provisional government
of Inland until a new government can bo
established, is preposterous. Far from being
a declaration of war on th people of Ire
land, H is a declaration of wisdom. Th
majority of th people of the United State
labor under th delusion that th House of
Lord la composed of a lot of boobs. They
an mistaken. Th marquis of Lansdowne,
chairman of the House of Lords, is on of
th shrewdest and most logical men In
Gnat Britain.
THOMAS HENRY WATKINS.
Americanism First.
Omaha, July 15. To th Editor of Th
Bee: I notice that then I being experi
enced some considerable difficulty In deliver
ing progressive party men wholesale. This
la exactly what I expected and I would hav
been very much disappointed otherwise. Th
progressive party 1 made up of men who
believe In something, and It Is hard to de
liver that kind of men.
And then is plenty of room for dlfferene
of opinion as to what progressives should
do In th coming election. I, frankly, have
doubt. I consider the present administra
tion about a uncertain, wabbly and ama
teurish a It Is possible for a man of ability
to mak It, and the appointments about as
disgraceful as possible, consistent with good
intentions, but if I believed that the cham
pioning of Hughea by the hyphens meant
th leaning of Hughe by th millionth part
of an inch toward surrendering any part of
hi Independence to any foreign element, I
would be for Wilson tf he hadJeen wrong
all of th time instead of only two-third of
th tim.
To me, then I Just on question worth
whil before the American people today.
That la, is then an American people? An
we a nation or just a jumble of discordant
laments T Have we the courage of our con
viction, granting that we hav any convic
tion, or an we so enamond of ease and
prosperity and the full belly that we will
submit to anything rather than fight? De
we want our boy brought up to take kicks
and cuffs from every bully rather tnan
come horn with an occasional black eye?
To m it teems patent that then 1 no
measuring th harm that Wilson has don
along this line. Hughes couldn't b worse,
therefore X am for Hugh, at th tarn time
granting Wilson all his good intentions. Hav
ing demoralised, with his false standards of
courage, and his official recognition of flab
bines and slacking, the young men of the
country, he now And himself in a position
when he must try to undo all this and, out
of these same young man, build up an army.
I hav been for Roosevelt, I am still for
Roosevelt, who created the issu of Ameri
canism, and who did th only sensible thing
in refusing to accept a nomination on the
third party ticket, after the nomination of
Hughe. Hughes, after personal Interviews,
has been able to satisfy Roosevelt's rather
too fervid patriotism and Americanism. If
he Is right on that Issue, he Is right for me.
Other Issues can wait. Whether we have
a country that Is as good as it might be
la of secondary Importance to whether we
have a country at all. Whether Nebraska
hall be dry or wet Is important: whether
men shall hav good or starvation wages is
Important ; whether women and children
shall work under healthful conditions or
the reverse is important; whether officials
shall be honest or dishonest Is important;
but all these can wait. The thing la to
hav a country of our own men and women
of courage to assert their right to work
them out without outside interference. Wil
son makes for flabbiness, vacillation and un
certainty. There Is nothing la th history
of Hughes to indicate such tendencies.
Therefore I am for Hughe.
H. W. MORROW.
WHAT CITIES ARE DOING.
Philadelphia claims that in Broad street It
has the beet lighted street In the country.
Pitaburgh has seven public playground
which an open all th year, thirty-one
summer playground and four public ewi na
ming pools.
Detroit Is trying out a new system on
Its local street ear lines, by which the
cars stop only at every other street crossing.
"Can your husband drive a car?" aeked
one feminine suburbanite of another.
"Drive a car," repeated the wife, with
fine scorn, "Why, that man can't even drive
a nail." Baltimore American.
Wife I must aend these shoes back.
Hubby What' the matter, don't they
fit youT
Wife Tee, perfectly, but I ordered a site
smaller.- Judge.
Employer Toung man, I'm afraid you
have deceived me. Tou told me when 1
employed you that you were a college grad
uate. New Clerk Beg pardon, but what reason
have you for doubting It, sir?
Employer Why, you Just said In regard
to a matter connected with the bualnese
that 1 knew more about It than you did.
Indianapolis Star.
OUCMES
MAKE HIM AUJyiWS VEX YOU
"I am out of work, sir; and" -
"Sue here, my man, I gave you 60 cents
last week."
"Well, sir, you've earned more since then,
haven't you?" Puck.
First Urchin I'd ruther be Mr. Hughes
than Mr. Wilson.
Second Urchin Why?
First Wouldn't have so much face ter
wash. Boston Transcript.
An old railroad man sat with a friend on
a hotel plassl as a string of chappies went
by In their flashy togs.
"Passengers or freight T" smiled the
friend.
"Empties," said the old man. Judge.
"These connoisseurs are wonderful chaps.
They know all the distinctions In wines.
They can tell the difference In cigarettes."
"Um. They must be wonderful chaps.
t'Tm a a i
8
"Do you have to resort to Irrigation In
your country?" asked the New Yorker.
"Oh yes. at times," replied the southerner.
"And what do you use?" Mu.
"Oh, sarsaparilla or glnrr ale.' Tonkai
Statesman.
Nexdore You said that you'd give my
boy a box on the ear.
Naybor (truculently) Well, would you
like to take It to him? Boston Transcript.
"Science state that girls are getting taller
rB"Whaty if "girls get so tall that men can't
walk with them?" , , m
"Fashion will introduce some kind of a
bend." Puck.
"I hear when you went to Smith' houae
to argue the question with Smith be kicked
you out."
"Not quite that. 1 checked hta advance
by partially transferring myself to a neigh
boring sector." Baltimore American.
THE BOY THAT WINS.
Edgar A. Guest, In Detroit Free Pres.
When the hair about the temples ttarta to
how the len of gray
And a fellow realises that he's wandering
far away , . ,
From tho pleanures of hie boyhood and his
youth and nevermore
Will know the Joy of laughter as he did In
days of yore.
Oh. It'e then he starts to thinking of a
stubby little lad i
With a faee as brown berries and a
soul supremely glad.
When a gray-haired dreamer wanders down
the lanes of memory
And forgets the living present for the time
of "use-to-be."
He takes off his shoes and stockings, and
he thrown his coat away,
And he's free from all ret rict Ions, save the
rult'S of manly play.
He may be In tattered garment, but bare
headed in the sun
He forgets hie proud successes and the riches
he haa won.
Oh, there's not a man that llveth but would
give his all to be
The stubby little fellow that In dreamland
he can see.
And the splendors that surround him and
the joys about him spread
Only seem to rise and taunt him with the
boyhood that has fled.
When the hair about the temples begin to
show time's silver stain.
Then the richest man that'a living yearns
to be a boy again.
CZortj Nat Jackton Boalnanl
The Hotel Success
of Chicago
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The hotel's excellent service,
its convenience for the quick
transaction of business, its
proximity to theatres, shops
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the ideal headquarters for a
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Try a Colorado
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Convenient
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Tickets on sale daily to Sept. 30.
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Automatic Block Signals
Finest Modern All-Steel Equipment
Superb Dining Car Service
1
"57 Tickets, reservations and literature on request
J. S. McNally, D. P. A.
14th and Farnara Sit. W. O. W. Bldf.
. tk A MnthaVt&Wicf.
k rm w aae tsw
ho
nrctfietd
'R&julatar Co-,
Is that sbe ma go through the
trying ordeal of motherhood with as
Uttle pain as poesible this can bey
s reality when "Mothert Friend" i
hat been used regularly preceding
confinement. ' Get
"Mother's mend" at your
druggist
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really successful.
1 1 v