Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, February 27, 1916, EDITORIAL MAGAZINE, Page 2-C, Image 22

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    THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: FERRUAUY 27,
191fi.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
TBS Be Publishing; Oompanr. Proprietof
BK BUILDING. FARNAM AND fKVENTCTNTH.
Entered at Omaha potofflrs aa second-clsss matter.
TERMS OF BUBBCRIPTTON.
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per month. par year.
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IUmt by draft, express or postal order. Only two.
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rounta. Personal checks, axcept on Omaha and eastern
exrhanre. not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha Tha Fee Building,
ffouth Omaha 211 N street.
Council niuffe 1 North Main Street
Lincoln H Little Bulldlne-.
Chloaco m tliart Building.
New Tork Room HH. 2t Fifth avenue.
Kt. Louie SOS New Rank of Commerc.
Waehlngton 725 Fourteenth St., N. W.
CORRESPONPENCEJ.
Address communications relating to imvi and edi
torial matter to Omaha lie. Editorial Department.
JANUARY SCXDAY CIRCULATION,
47,925
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, aa. :
Dwlght Wlillama. circulation msneser, aaya that
tha average Sunday circulation for tha month of
January, wan 47.il.
ttWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Mana(r.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to before
ma this 3d day of F-hnmrv, ll.
llOBERT HU.S'TEIl, Notary Public.
Subscriber leaving the city temporarily
should have The ftr mailed to them. Ad
drees will be changed aa ftn a requested.
Fm grabs under whatever nam take on the
hues of the yellow dof.
Ai A weather prophet, Mr. Ground Hog U
holding bit own tolerably well.
Ai a trua harbinger of spring the robin Is
outclassed by the hoarse cry of fandom: "Play
ball."
Democratic statesmen 1a Washington might
reduce the wordy fever by applying the usual
remedy for cold feet
The capltol bomb scare probably originated
In a mind which regards a blow-tip more impos
ing than a fall-down,
Opposition to military training In public
schools automatically places the superintendents
in the mollycoddle class.
Destructive floods ravage Holland and the
lower Mississippi valley. Neutrality afford no
effective barriers to warring elements.
As a rale, the withdrawal of candidates
does not begin until after tha Uma for new fil
ings has expired. But, then, this Is aa excep-
tlonsi year In politics.
I . j
Tha signal success of tha auto show ought to
make It quits unnecessary to debate tha ques
tion whether tha show should or should not bs
abandoned next year.
"Lights out!" U now tha rule at night U
Scotland as well as la SncUaa. Keeping It
dark Is as embarrassing to natives as to visiting
Zepps, but makes tor home safety.
i ' " T
The automobile show exceeded tha axp ecta-
Uons of promoters. Planning a business hum
mer they achieved aa avalanche. Publicity and
popularity are unsurpassed for team work.
Tha task of keeping demooratla colt from
smashing tha administration dashboard calls
Into play tha patient tact shown la "bringing up
Kather Jlggs." Similar results are probabla.
How to ba with Wilson and Bryaa at the
tame time, while they are opposing one another's
lollcies, is the pussier for democratlo candidates
who want to run on the same ticket with, the
president. '
. Necessity hands a solar-plexus to Oslertsm
In Austria. The call to the colors of men be
tween the ages of 50 and 66 Is accompanied by
the official statement that "old men make the
best soldiers." A cheery word oft lightens the
gloom of a funeral.
Matters of Ourselves.
"He that ruleth his own spirit Is better than
he tbat taketh a city," said the Wise Man. In
how far does this doctrine of eelf-mantery apply
to the American people? Have we as a nation
learned to rule our own spirit?
In the beginning this nation was dedicated
to certain great principles of government, not
new, but never practiced. It was founded on
Rood morals and Justice to all men. So far, the
history of this country has Justified the faith of
the fathers, and the experiment in self-government
has turned out well. Cynical skepticism,
politely expressed by arf older civilisation, has
been turned to wonder by a people whose cltl
sens are sovereigns, and who rule themselves
with prudence and moderation. Nor Is this all.
Without Impertinent interference in the affairs
of other peoples, Americans have extended their
Influence and example to the benefit of man
kind, and still are doing the work of sotting np
a stronger foundation for the high Ideals to
which they are devoted.
Readily recalled illustrations of assistance
afforded to those who could not help themselves
are plenty. Cuba was freed and cleansed, po
litically, socially and industrially, and set up
among the nations, where Its people share In all
the advantages tbat come from self-government.
In the Philippines we have been pursuing a work
that Is constructive and phl'anthroplo among a
completely submerged race, It is not finished,
but lfwlll not be abandoned until the Filipino,
too, is able to stand alone. In China we set
such an example of generosity as shines In bril
liant effulgence in contrast with the course pur
sued by the older nations of Europe. For
longer than a century we have stood as protec
tor to the weaker republics of the Americas, aid
ing them In all ways, even to our own disad
vantage. We are masters of ourselves, and our coun
try Is safe In the bands of Its citizens.
Growing Perils of Walking.
People who cling to the old-fashioned Idea
tbat walking Is good for the health cannot avo'd
viewing with alarm the growing procession of
automobiles on the highways. Public interest
In the auto show points to a great Increase In the
number of vehicles in Omaha and vicinity this
year. Nearly 60,000 cars were licensed in Ne
braska In 1916, and Iowa Is credited with more
machines to population than any state In the
union. These are fearsome facts for those who,
from necessity or predilection, prefer tha simple
life of strap-hanging or wearing out shoeleather.
Not only is walking becoming distinctly unfash
ionable, verging on social ostracism, but It' is a
question puzsltng for doctors whether the risk
Is not greater than the established benefits.
Btlll. those who persist In the practice are de
serving of consideration and the attention of
safety first and accident insurance promoters.
If the city planning board gauges the future by
present prospects it must sea the wisdom of pro
jecting highways for tha exclusive use of shoe
store patrons.
Sana Segregation In St Louis,
St. Louis is about to vote upon a social ex
periment that will attract great attention,
should It ba undertaken. The segregation 'of
white and colored races is to be the end of the
attempt, and this Is to ba accomplished by pre
venting commingling of the two In residence
districts. Ordinances have been drawn to be
submitted to a referendum vote, on the result of
which will depend whether tha experlment'goes
any further than discussion. By the provisions
of one of these ordinances "black blocks are
to remain black, and "white" blocks will be
kept white, forever. No white man may reside
in a negro block, or vice versa. The second or
dinance makes practically tha same restriction.
except that it applies to blocks where 78 per
cent of the residents are white or colored.
Tha danger in this plan is apparent. Neither
race will be especially benefitted by its applica
tion, while much barm may come from it. The
restriction of the right of residence will serve
as well to limit the aspirations of the men and
women who suffer under the law. It Is the old
' pale' over again. It all white men were de
sirable, and all negroes undesirable, some logto
might be found to supportthe plan, but grades
of character are not determined . by color of
skin. The ambitious, the energetic, the Indus
trious, thrifty and lawabldlng cltUen should
have at least a chance to advance himself la
whatever way he reasonably may, regardless of
bis complexion.
Bt. Louis baa a serious slum problem, prob
ably as engaging la its general aspects as that
of any American city, but a better way might
be found of solving It than Is now proposed.
The abject squalor of some of Us streets can
hardly ba matched In America, yet this Is to be
remedied by bettet housing, rather than by set
ting a legal barrier between white and black so
far as bome-maktng goea
What Art They Going- to So About Ztt
What are tha lawyers of Omaha going to
do about tha sew exposure of shake-down law
suits bolstered by palpably framed-up evidence
of perjured witnesses? Tha lawyers are always
preaching high standards for their profession.
but, apparently, never get beyond the talking
about it. The local bar association is supposed
to have a special committee to see to it that the
ethics of practice are observed, and to take
measures to keep the black sheep out of the
fold. The district court, furthermore, has a
standing committee to look into questionable
cases. So far as results are concerned, how
ever, none of these agencies have a thing to
show as yet in the way of actual accomplish
ment, although Instances of malpractice by legal
shysters are so notorious and rank that no one
would have much trouble locating the Infected
spots. It Is tha inactivity and indifference of
tha reputable lawyers to tve disgrace which the
sharpers and scalawags bring Upon tha profes
sion, that is responsible for this deplorable sit
uation. This rotten condition, as wa have said,
exposes every man, against whom a Judgment Is
good, to be made tha victim of soma trumped-up
suit, wholly without merit, for tha sole purpose
of forcing him to "settle," rather than fight for
his rights, as the cheapest way out, while the
loot is divided between the crooked lawyer and
his crooked client We repeat.' that something
should ba dona mora than merely indulging in
talk to put a stop to such a system of tnln-dls-
guised blackmail.
r rzoroa aoiiviTn.
ZU-Timei Lerity that Deierrei Bebuke.
Something akin to state disgrace resides a
tha action of certain Llncolnltes, whose lack of
breeding Is shown in their woeful want of vener
ation for ancient things. That they have little
or no regard for the sanctity of Institutions hal
lowed by time and precious because of antiquity
is proven by their lamentable attempt at a prac
tical Joke on the decrepit state house. Totter
ing to Its well earned rest its gaping cracks and
shaky beams each a dumb appeal for consider
ate regard, this outworn pile should ba per
mitted to end its days in such usefulness aa it
may afford, and without being made the target
for such pranks as the unidentified Jokers
sought to perpetrate. Their levity is Ill-timed
and deserves a stern rebuke. Let tha old state
house alone, and in good time it will fall down
because of sheer decay and weakness. It needs
no bomb, however tnQl. to hasten It almg tha
way to oblivion. Which ought to forcibly re
mind everybody that the question of a new cap
ltol building, to be a credit to tha great com
monwealth, is now vividly before Nebraskans.
Advocates of instant preparedness obtain lit
tle encouragement from builders of defensive
necessities. The announcement that thirty
months is required to build a modern 1.600-ton
submarine is a guarantee against over-haste.
Turkey's war bulletin editor belittles tha
strategy of Grand Duke Nicholas at Erserum
and intimates that ths duke took Mush with a
knife. These delicate pleasantries materially
lighten the pain of a disagreeable subject.
TUB NEW Grain Exchanse bulldins, now almost
completed and befora Ions to ba dedicated with
a formal opentns, la a contribution to tha up
building of Omaha whlcn our p"Ple ought duly
to appreciate, I looked Into tha building not long
ago and waa struck with the convenience and adap
tability of tha Interior arrangement, as I had al
ready been by tha beauty ahd lmpreairtveneas of tha
exterior. I am not yat sura that tha location la tha
beat that could have bean had, but Jutting out. as
It does, acroas Nineteenth atreet, it looms up on the
landscape, looking South from Farnam. In a wy
that no slghtaeer oan help noticing it- The trading
floor of tha Exchange la light and airy and com
modious so far as present demands go, although it
la quite poaalble tha growth of another decada of
the grain markat here may require still mora room
for tho buying and selling pperatlona. I have seen
tha homea of various exchanges and bouraea in other
cities, tha old and tha new Stock exchange and the
Produce exchange in New Tork. tha Board of Trade
In Chicago, tha Cotton exchange la New Orleans
and soma la foreign eltlea, and by comparison
Omaha's exchange ought to be a place for us to
point with pride to vlaltlng strangers aa one of tha
chief attractions of tha city,
Omaha has tributary to It tha finest agricultural
oountry In tha world and la the natural market town
for the products of this territory the grain, tha live
stock, the dairy products, tha orchard, and the farm
yard output Whan the Grain exchange was first
organised there ware many doubting Thomases, but
tho wide-awake and public-spirited men of Omaha
outside of the grain trade, who saw its Importance
to the dty, got behind It aa a community enterprise,
and to nee a term mora expressive than elegant,
"put It over." The suooeaaful creation of a grain
markat la Omaha, holding its own with tha oldest
and strongest markets of tba country in ao short
a time, Is proof of what oan ba done when there
Is a will as wall as a way.
Coming out of tha ''new Oraln Exchange building
tha obtrusion of tha fire angina houaa on tha op
posite cornera squatty, unattractive building fac
ing this magnlfloent structuremakes a decidedly
bad Impression. When this new fire house was be
ing planned, I urged In Tha Bea that It bo kept off
the corner, suggesting a readjustment by trade
with tha owner of tha adjoining lot so that tho
fire house would "face" Nineteenth street along the
allay rather than "deface" the Harney street cqrner
and detract from the appearanoe of tha pubilo li
brary. Official stubbornness prevented this change,
but It will have to come sometime, perhaps by com
plete relocation of tho fire houaa.
'
I used to walk down town mornings occasionally
with tha lata Judge English and ho waa always a
delightful companion. I believe tha secret of his
popularity and of his success Is accounted for by his
quiet persuasive demeanor, his politeness of manner
and hie obvious slnoerity commanding tha respect of
even those who might be differing with him. I never
had any business befora him In court except once
and that was when I brought tha suit that forced
a cut In the water rata wbloh had been kept by the
Water board at a figure denounoed by tha board it
self aa "extortionate" when exacted by tho old water
company. The ease never oame to trial because the
Water board same down oft Its perch and'the suit
therefore effected tho object without going to Jude
ment, but It waa only because Judge English turned
down the plea denying Jurisdiction, otherwise our
water users would have been compelled to pay tho
old "robber rates' under municipal ownership longer
than thay did. Judge English here rendered the pub
ilo a service which, should be remembered.
Tea, we have had some striking exhibits of the
fine quality of Omaha mud already this spring-, but
never again will we najra the rich adhealva mud of
the rood eld days. Z was talking with a woman.
well known socially, the other day, and she told me
that when bar family moved to Omaha la the early
7e, taking a house not far from Twentieth and
Leavenworth streets, the wagon that brought the
household affects up from the depot got stuck In
the mud and remained there with the contents for
three whole days. At another time the carriage lu
which a suitor was taking her sister to the theater
became so Imbedded in the mud that he had to earry
her to the sidewalk, wading ever his shoetope, and
they had te proceed afoot, otherwise they might have
spent the night la the middle of the street. Any
wonder, the poet, Sax a, once wrote:
Has't ever been to Omaha, -Where
roDs the dark Missouri down,
Where four strong horses soaroe can draw
Aa empty wagon through the town? .
The death of Peter Ooos lalt week recalls tho
palatial Ooos hotel on ths site of the present Mer
chants hotel on Farnam street between Fifteenth
and Sixteenth streets, which waa the foundation of
Oooa' rise to comfort and affluence. Tha Jurtea, by
Custom fed there at the county expense, used to
refer to It as tha "Hotel da Ooos." When tha Grand
Central burned In UTS. depriving Omaha of Its then
only first class hotel, various projects were started
to replace It, among them one for a new Ooos hotel,
and finally culminating in tha building of the Pax
ton. The new Ooos hotel also want up at the corner
of Fifteenth and Jackson Streets. Before ths name of
The Paxtoa was settled upon, one suggestion was to
combine the old and the new by calling it "The Grand
Paxton."
"Wan, then," exclaimed Peter Ooos. 'TO. call
mine The Grand Oooet
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Omaha
' Compiled from Bee ruea.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
letrolt Free Pre us: A swimming pool
is to be built In a New Tork church.
Lt's so to church and take a squint at
the bathing suits.
Washington Tost: Of course, there can
bs no relation between Doo Aked's resig
nation from his pastorate and Hank
Eord'a expressed determination to apend
millions if necessary.
Baltimore American: A Pltabargh pas
tor ia advising women, on the score of
health and comfort, to wear trousers. The
large army of henpecked can aasure thla
dreaa reformer that too many of them
wear the breechea aa It is.
Houston Post: A Philadelphia minister
says "Do" ought to bo the watchword of
Christianity. And yet, wo suppose, he
thinks "Don't ought to ba tho watch
word of tha law. It la a wise man who
keeps his "do" and his "don't" properly
employed.
Bpiingfleld Republican: The resignation
of Rev. Charles E. Dole, for forty years
minister of the Unitarian church at Ja
maica Plain, will be acted upon at tha
regular meeting of the aoclety In April.
Mr. Dole is one of the notable divines of
Massachusetts. He hopes, after his re
tirement, that "in various ways, quite
free of the thought of compensation, I
may be able by voice or pen to carry tha
meeiage of religion, which always grows
more beautiful and necessary for the wel
fare and happiness of mankind."
Philadelphia Ledger: Tho average sal
ary of 4,430 clergyman In active service
In the Episcopal church is supposed to bo
somewhat higher than it Is in other de
nominations; but at f 1.300 a year (with
TOO paid Iops than $1,000) is can be seen that
the figure ia nowhere near what it should
be. The clergyman ia expected to be su
perhuman at leas than a competency.
Even if hie existence be a bitter struggle
to kep alive, he is expected to be all
things to all man, to preach with Pente
costal fire and Intercostal rheumatism, to
disregard his own ills and Inspire forti
tude and cheer in many who do not earry
tithe of his personal burden. It is a
favorite economto theory of soma congre
gations that one who labors In the vine
yard of the Lord should ba well content
with the consciousness of virtue, and
should somewhere be able to depend on
manna from heaven and benevolent
ravens, Instead of the coin of the realm
whereby unoensec rated mortals live.
President Lowell of Harvard says we will
all be In the next war thirty or forty years
hence. The bright side of that prophecy lies la
the inference that this war will end before the
next one beglna
The United German Singing society gave a delight
fill singing entertainment at Germanla hall for the
benefit of the German-American school. The organts.
atlons contributing were the Musical Union orcheatra,
the Maennerchor, the Swlas tinging society and tho
Turner quartet. Addressee were made by William
Altatadt and J. L Fruehaut
James B. Hajrees has reetgned his position la tha
general ticket office of the Union Pacific to take
charge of the Railway News aa Its manager, Oeorga
U Barney win step up a notch to take the Yaoart
piaoe.
The financial report of tha managers of the charity
ball show total receipts of IMS7.90 and expenses of
SeHtn, of which t-SO was for hall rant and fiOO for
mus.0, leaving net proceeds of liGZUft,
The young women of Bradstreeta agency have or
ganised a literary society with these of Moors: Miss
Oeorglo Bhlpinan, president; Miss Lillle M. Lawrence,
vice preeldent; Mlas Nellie F. Dunn, eecretary-treite-
urer.
City Engineer Roaewater and his assistants are
working plans for the sixteenth street viaduct.
A reader writes to tell of a woman in Omaha who
possesses a Bible printed In the year UOO.
K. F. Cedy, la ears of the Chtoags Lumber eon.
pany, want te rant for one or two yaare a good tea
room dwelling m a goad netghborhood.
The county commissioners have obtained
the Wilson Boiler works the sheet iron to cover the
brtdgea oa tha Elkhora. There will ba three bridges
fortified with this armor te protect them from the
im ib river runs out.
BRIEF BITS OF SCIENCE.
The use of the oxygon Inhaler alone
has made It possible to make balloon
flights above ,000 feet.
Morning glory derlvee Its name from
tha fact that It blooms only In tho morn
ing and the 4 o'olock because they open
at that hour In the afternoon.
Seaweed offers a prollflo source of fuel
oil when present supplies are exhausted.
according to an English scientist, who
has obtained seven gall ens from a ton of
vegetable matter.
Those who expect to ltva until H0O have
cause for worry, scientists having found
that by then the world's capacity as re
gards population will have been reached,
a total of S.0O0.000.OOO.
German - scientists have found that
glycerine In a valuable sterilising agent.
Various deadly germs, when heated In It
to a temperature of I4S degrees Fahren
heit, were killed In one minute. This
process Is particularly valuable tor startt-
Ixing surgical Instruments, for the reason
that the metal is not attaokod nor la the
temper sifocted. .
The homing; capacity of the terns has
recently been made a subject of investi
gation. At Bird Key, Dry Tortugas,
birds ware oaught in their nesting places,
tagged, marked with paint en head and
neck and carried In .large oagae to a dis
tance, whereupon they were liberated
and watoh was kept for their return. It
was found that the "noddy and sooty
tern can return from distance up to
1.000 miles in the absenoa of ail land
marks, at least so far as the term land
mark' Is understood at present"
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
Dentists may be property classed as
root dootors.
Somehow a old man en a motorcycle
looks out of place.
To have what you want Is wealth; to
do without Is power.
No man can win success unless he Is
In love with his work.
It Is a sign of rain when some one
hypothecates your umbrella, j
The wise man takes a back eaat and
watches the fool butt Into danger.
The oftener a man fails the more he la
addloted to the advlce-glvlng habit.
Lawyers are so plentiful that but few
criminals get a ohanoe to plead guilty.
Some people seek pleasure abroad and
find It waiting for them on their return
noma.
It Isn't always what a man knows but
what he doesn't tell that makes us be
lieve him wise. .
No man la ever born with a silver
spoon In his mouth, but lots of men die
with gold tn their teeth.
It a married man ever becomes truly
great, his wife nearly always assumes
tha responsibility for It
To remove superfluous hair send your
well filled mattress to be done over by
a tricky upholsterer.
A heedless woman Is fortunate In being
abla to talk without putting herself to
the trouble of thinking.
Tho wise' Leap Tear girl always pre
tends to know a trifle less than tha
young man she la planning to face the
parson with. Chicago News.
SIGNPOSTS OF FE0QEESS.
New Jersey factories employ more than
113,000 workers.
An electrically driven machine has boon
Invented for sptlttlng kindling wood.
Leather waste enters Into the composi
tion of much, of the best wall pane.
The production of ooppar tn the TJhtbed
States last year exceeded ail previous
records.
An armored automobile built by a
Massachusetts man has a steel shell so
curved that It will deflect a rifle buUet
from any angle. v
The report of the United States com
missioner of internal revenue shows that
1.7U Illicit distUlerlea were seUed In 1M
and 1.131 la 1915.
It would naturally bo expected that
the owners of laundries would oppose
any device that would tend to make
washing of clothes at home aaaier. On
the other hand, It has developed that the
laundry owners are L. favor of the aleo-
trio Iron and credit a good deal of In
creased business to this appliance, la
numbers of eases the houaekeepexs are
ridding themselves oc a weekly ensgbaar
by sen din S their work to the laoadrkse
to be returned "re ash dry." finishing
their leisure. In this way the laundries
get eonsldeewfcle work which otherwise
People and Events.
A ' Philadelphia man, suing for a
divorce, says his wife deserted him on
Friday, the 13th. Hoodooed or luckyT
The imposition of a direct atate tax
bcoated the tax rate to S.04 in New
Tork City an increase of 17 mills over
1J1S.
Robert W. Gardner of Hartwick, N. T.,
has worked as a blacksmith at the same
forgo for fifty-four year. He started
in as an apprentice pumping the bel
lows and his stlckatlveneae annexed the
plant In short order.
A practical Joker In Detroit sent an
undertaker's "black Maria" to a hotel.
expecting to ahock a newly-married
couple and their ceirbratlng friends. But
bride and groom had been married be
fore and divorced, and the Joke dlln't
feaxe 'em.
It is explained in behalf of a Minne
apolis policeman accused of flirting while
on duty at the railroad station that the
Incriminating kiss was given him bya
mistake owing to ths density of the
fog. That helps to vindicate the young
woman's taste, anyhow.
The pastor of Shady Avenue Baptist
church. Pittsburgh, Rev. Dr. James E.
Norerois, believes In trousers for women
and said so from the pulblt. He thinks
the Chinese imitation la more Impres
sive than present feminine styles. It
takes all kinds of tastes to make a
world.
The financial solicitor of the American
Defense society In New Tork City sc
oured a campaign fund of W.000 before
he was relieved of the Job, 'retaining
half of it on a fifty-fifty contract. With
W,000 for less than a year's work he is
convinced that patriotism pays.
Johnny Tork of Blcknell. Itvd., was
advised by a doctor that he was "a
dead one" and urged to aeo atl under
taker before midnight Inatead of obey
ing orders he took on board sn extra
large dinner, went to a matinee, rounded
up the town In a taxi and woke up next
morning very much alive and with a
bead that was a hummer. Human con
trariness now and then resents medical
wisdom.
Rev. Dr. T. H. Hagerty of the Meth
odist Episcopal church of St. Louts told
his birthday greets that the secret of
his IS years of life la the "loose collar."
In his youth a doctor told him "his
throat waa so affected he could never
spesk tn public." With this prophecy in
mind Mr. Hagerty chose collars two
slses too large and has been preaching
for seventy years. Even at IS he preaches
three sermons on Sundays.
CYNICAL REMARKS.
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
After ten years of experimenting a
Massachusetts carpenter has built a small
table that contains twenty-nine secret
drawers.
. Joseph Denlse of Dayton. O., who claims
to be champion trolley conductor of
America has ridden 712,000 miles In street
cars, made ten trips a day for twenty
two years, with 4.K6.O0O stops, and col
lected U, GOO, 000 for his company in fares.
The president of a produce company at
Phoenix, Aris., got the cold storage habit
so badly that ho tried keeping cider. lie
has recently been arrested for violating
the aloohollo beverage law, which Is re
gretted at Phoenix, for he has been
ardent as a "dry" . worker. 4
: The Sawtooth National park, which
will come Into existence If tho present
session of the congress passes a bill that
has bean Introduced, is a remarkable
tract of 14S.000 aorea in the Sawtooth
rang of Idaho, a mountain country said
closely to rival Tosemlto in the grandeur
of its beauty.
The Cheyenne Indians near Clinton.
Okl, held an elaborate "at home" in
honor of the neighboring Kiowa chiefs
and their people. Everything was in high
style, many of the tents of both hosts
and visitors being furnished with brass
bods, carpets and a variety of such orna
ments as most appeal to the Cheyenne
and Kiowa sense of the artistic
AeoordlnaT to an account book of the
Second pariah In Falmouth, Me-, dating
back to 17U, which Is In the possession
of Henry 8. Thrasher of Portland, the
minister received IXL3 for preaahlna;
seven Sundays. His salary for the year
1736 was 1400, and the salary of Widow
Elwell, the same year, for taking care of
the meeting house, waa $8.64.
"I want a cake of the best' toilet soap
you have," a shopper In one of tha big
New Tork department stores- said to a
saleswoman the other day; "how much Is
It, please T" "Two, dollars and ninety
cents." was the staggering reply as ths
clerk brought forth from a case a small,
daintily wrapped package; "and you're
lucky to got this, for we're not getting
any more of them now." It was a French
soap, and the high price, it was said,
was due to the exquisite perfume used in
Its manufacture.
lys an easy matter to take a day orrr
but It Isn't every man who can put It
back.
If some people should ever try to swal
low 'their pride they would choke to
death.
Moat women are cvrlous, but the most
curious thing in the world is a woman
who lan'i
A man must be a pretty good waiter
who expecta to have gTeatnesa thrust
upon him.
The one time a woman can always hit
what she alma at ia when she casts re
flections. No man Is such a pessimist as to re
fuse to believe the good things he hears
about himself.
It's sll right to mount upward, but the
fellow who falls from the top has ths
furthest to fall.
A woman feels that she has lost her
grip when she can no lottger twist a man
around her little finger.
It sometimes pays tu chuck a bluff. If
you can't have your own way, pretend
the other way is yours.
A man's memory proves that It Is much
easier to forget a hat to remember than
to remember what to forget.
A woman beptna to show her age when
ehe doesn't care who looka over the birth
m ine lamny BiDie.
What a profoundly silent place this
world would be if we should talk only
when we have something to say. New
Tork Times.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"How much ia beefsteak a ' pound
asked the man with the hurried manner.
The meat merchant told him and added,
"how ninny pounds will you have 7"
"1 don t want any. I wanted to ascertain
how much I am saving by eating scrap
ple." Washington Star.
Mrs. Krlss (calling down dumb waiter
shaft) Is that you. garbage?
Voice (floating up) No. mum. I am
beans, spinach and potatoes. New Tork
Times.
Jounc; Husband (angrily) I want you
to understand that I Intend to be master
in my own house, and I don't want any
beck talk from you about it.
Young Wife (wearily)-Why, dear,
thats Just like the rows father Used to
make. Baltimore American.
"I told that boy." remarked the teacher.
to remain after school and WTlte aome
word one hundred tlmea. But I don't
think it was any great punishment."
"Why not?"
"I noticed that he wroto the word
HflSlo'1 sin A h 1 1 r A A almaa MltL
isiiux:t ui7t W IV-ii SB,I
ecstatlo smile." Louisville Courier-Jour
nal.
tAR MR.kABIB&viT,
HOW LATE .SHOULD A HU&A&fii
SW CUT AT NIHTf
A WIFE
AlW AS LATE" AS HE
USH StfW WHEN HE WAS
rrr
Glllet Has anyone an Idea of tho dead
man's past life?
Perry Oh, yes a complete history. He
kept every will he ever made. Life.
"These rooms aro cold. That ther
mometer only registers fifty-five.
"Why don't you send for the Janitor to
tinker up the radiator?"
"Wouldn't do any good. He'd want to
tinker up the thermometer and let it go
at that. Louisville Courier-Journal.
Mrs. Highupp They seem like a very
cheap kind of people.-
Mrs. AV'ayupp They certainly lire, Thev
actually had the nervo to buy cna of last
year's bettleshipa and try to palm it off
aa a yacht. Puck.
Ruth They say that musfs Inspires men
to herolo deeds.
Betty Tou ought to play the "Wedding
March" when Jack calls some evening.
Boaton Tranacript '
TO A QUEEN OF THE MOVIES.
J. Kendrick Bangs, In New Tork Times.
Twinkle, twinkle, Movie Star,
How I wonder what you aro
As you fllver o'er tbe scena '
Like an Kv Tsnguayrlne!
How ths snowy canvas njnakea.
How the filmy sequence shakos.
As you culver here and there
In your Joy and your despair!
Are your cheeks of dough, mv dear.
That so bloodless they appear?
And your lips, so rosy red.
What hath turned them jjray as lead?
And your nose so distinguee
In Its charming retrousses.
Why Is it that thing of grae
Wanders loosely o'er your facet
And these teeth so pearly white.
Once a dental dream of light.
What hath happened, oh, alack.
Thus to return them inky black?
And your stately walk that Z
Doted on in days gone by.
What hath changed its godlike graoe
To this Jerky, Jumpy pace?
And those eyes whose lovely glanee
Waa designed hearts to entranoa.
Tell me. what hath turned them bold
Like, two china marbles ould?
YOU WILL SURELY DIE
WHV NOT LET THE
Woodmen Of the World
ASSURE YOUR WIDOW
REMAINING IN THE HOME
AND THE CHILDREN in School
NO CHARGE for Explanation.
TEXX," DOUGLAS 1117.
JOBX T. YATES,
Bar. Clerk.
W. A. FKASXrn,
Sot, Oommsnder.
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessfuL
I would novar com te then
i