THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: FERRUAUY 27, 191fi. THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER. VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR. TBS Be Publishing; Oompanr. Proprietof BK BUILDING. FARNAM AND fKVENTCTNTH. Entered at Omaha potofflrs aa second-clsss matter. TERMS OF BUBBCRIPTTON. Hy carrier By mall per month. par year. rallv and nnd'ay f !? JTHiliy without Sunday.... J" pvenlng aM Sunday.. "J fcvenlng without Sunday e 4 "0 Sunday B on'7 , lally and Sunday Bee, three yeara In advance. ...110.00 Send notice of change of addresa or complaint of Irrerularlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation reertmeTif RETM ITTA NCR. IUmt by draft, express or postal order. Only two. cent postage stamps received In payment of small eo rounta. Personal checks, axcept on Omaha and eastern exrhanre. not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha Tha Fee Building, ffouth Omaha 211 N street. Council niuffe 1 North Main Street Lincoln H Little Bulldlne-. Chloaco m tliart Building. New Tork Room HH. 2t Fifth avenue. Kt. Louie SOS New Rank of Commerc. Waehlngton 725 Fourteenth St., N. W. CORRESPONPENCEJ. Address communications relating to imvi and edi torial matter to Omaha lie. Editorial Department. JANUARY SCXDAY CIRCULATION, 47,925 State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, aa. : Dwlght Wlillama. circulation msneser, aaya that tha average Sunday circulation for tha month of January, wan 47.il. ttWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Mana(r. Subscribed in my presence and sworn to before ma this 3d day of F-hnmrv, ll. llOBERT HU.S'TEIl, Notary Public. Subscriber leaving the city temporarily should have The ftr mailed to them. Ad drees will be changed aa ftn a requested. Fm grabs under whatever nam take on the hues of the yellow dof. Ai A weather prophet, Mr. Ground Hog U holding bit own tolerably well. Ai a trua harbinger of spring the robin Is outclassed by the hoarse cry of fandom: "Play ball." Democratic statesmen 1a Washington might reduce the wordy fever by applying the usual remedy for cold feet The capltol bomb scare probably originated In a mind which regards a blow-tip more impos ing than a fall-down, Opposition to military training In public schools automatically places the superintendents in the mollycoddle class. Destructive floods ravage Holland and the lower Mississippi valley. Neutrality afford no effective barriers to warring elements. As a rale, the withdrawal of candidates does not begin until after tha Uma for new fil ings has expired. But, then, this Is aa excep- tlonsi year In politics. I . j Tha signal success of tha auto show ought to make It quits unnecessary to debate tha ques tion whether tha show should or should not bs abandoned next year. "Lights out!" U now tha rule at night U Scotland as well as la SncUaa. Keeping It dark Is as embarrassing to natives as to visiting Zepps, but makes tor home safety. i ' " T The automobile show exceeded tha axp ecta- Uons of promoters. Planning a business hum mer they achieved aa avalanche. Publicity and popularity are unsurpassed for team work. Tha task of keeping demooratla colt from smashing tha administration dashboard calls Into play tha patient tact shown la "bringing up Kather Jlggs." Similar results are probabla. How to ba with Wilson and Bryaa at the tame time, while they are opposing one another's lollcies, is the pussier for democratlo candidates who want to run on the same ticket with, the president. ' . Necessity hands a solar-plexus to Oslertsm In Austria. The call to the colors of men be tween the ages of 50 and 66 Is accompanied by the official statement that "old men make the best soldiers." A cheery word oft lightens the gloom of a funeral. Matters of Ourselves. "He that ruleth his own spirit Is better than he tbat taketh a city," said the Wise Man. In how far does this doctrine of eelf-mantery apply to the American people? Have we as a nation learned to rule our own spirit? In the beginning this nation was dedicated to certain great principles of government, not new, but never practiced. It was founded on Rood morals and Justice to all men. So far, the history of this country has Justified the faith of the fathers, and the experiment in self-government has turned out well. Cynical skepticism, politely expressed by arf older civilisation, has been turned to wonder by a people whose cltl sens are sovereigns, and who rule themselves with prudence and moderation. Nor Is this all. Without Impertinent interference in the affairs of other peoples, Americans have extended their Influence and example to the benefit of man kind, and still are doing the work of sotting np a stronger foundation for the high Ideals to which they are devoted. Readily recalled illustrations of assistance afforded to those who could not help themselves are plenty. Cuba was freed and cleansed, po litically, socially and industrially, and set up among the nations, where Its people share In all the advantages tbat come from self-government. In the Philippines we have been pursuing a work that Is constructive and phl'anthroplo among a completely submerged race, It is not finished, but lfwlll not be abandoned until the Filipino, too, is able to stand alone. In China we set such an example of generosity as shines In bril liant effulgence in contrast with the course pur sued by the older nations of Europe. For longer than a century we have stood as protec tor to the weaker republics of the Americas, aid ing them In all ways, even to our own disad vantage. We are masters of ourselves, and our coun try Is safe In the bands of Its citizens. Growing Perils of Walking. People who cling to the old-fashioned Idea tbat walking Is good for the health cannot avo'd viewing with alarm the growing procession of automobiles on the highways. Public interest In the auto show points to a great Increase In the number of vehicles in Omaha and vicinity this year. Nearly 60,000 cars were licensed in Ne braska In 1916, and Iowa Is credited with more machines to population than any state In the union. These are fearsome facts for those who, from necessity or predilection, prefer tha simple life of strap-hanging or wearing out shoeleather. Not only is walking becoming distinctly unfash ionable, verging on social ostracism, but It' is a question puzsltng for doctors whether the risk Is not greater than the established benefits. Btlll. those who persist In the practice are de serving of consideration and the attention of safety first and accident insurance promoters. If the city planning board gauges the future by present prospects it must sea the wisdom of pro jecting highways for tha exclusive use of shoe store patrons. Sana Segregation In St Louis, St. Louis is about to vote upon a social ex periment that will attract great attention, should It ba undertaken. The segregation 'of white and colored races is to be the end of the attempt, and this Is to ba accomplished by pre venting commingling of the two In residence districts. Ordinances have been drawn to be submitted to a referendum vote, on the result of which will depend whether tha experlment'goes any further than discussion. By the provisions of one of these ordinances "black blocks are to remain black, and "white" blocks will be kept white, forever. No white man may reside in a negro block, or vice versa. The second or dinance makes practically tha same restriction. except that it applies to blocks where 78 per cent of the residents are white or colored. Tha danger in this plan is apparent. Neither race will be especially benefitted by its applica tion, while much barm may come from it. The restriction of the right of residence will serve as well to limit the aspirations of the men and women who suffer under the law. It Is the old ' pale' over again. It all white men were de sirable, and all negroes undesirable, some logto might be found to supportthe plan, but grades of character are not determined . by color of skin. The ambitious, the energetic, the Indus trious, thrifty and lawabldlng cltUen should have at least a chance to advance himself la whatever way he reasonably may, regardless of bis complexion. Bt. Louis baa a serious slum problem, prob ably as engaging la its general aspects as that of any American city, but a better way might be found of solving It than Is now proposed. The abject squalor of some of Us streets can hardly ba matched In America, yet this Is to be remedied by bettet housing, rather than by set ting a legal barrier between white and black so far as bome-maktng goea What Art They Going- to So About Ztt What are tha lawyers of Omaha going to do about tha sew exposure of shake-down law suits bolstered by palpably framed-up evidence of perjured witnesses? Tha lawyers are always preaching high standards for their profession. but, apparently, never get beyond the talking about it. The local bar association is supposed to have a special committee to see to it that the ethics of practice are observed, and to take measures to keep the black sheep out of the fold. The district court, furthermore, has a standing committee to look into questionable cases. So far as results are concerned, how ever, none of these agencies have a thing to show as yet in the way of actual accomplish ment, although Instances of malpractice by legal shysters are so notorious and rank that no one would have much trouble locating the Infected spots. It Is tha inactivity and indifference of tha reputable lawyers to tve disgrace which the sharpers and scalawags bring Upon tha profes sion, that is responsible for this deplorable sit uation. This rotten condition, as wa have said, exposes every man, against whom a Judgment Is good, to be made tha victim of soma trumped-up suit, wholly without merit, for tha sole purpose of forcing him to "settle," rather than fight for his rights, as the cheapest way out, while the loot is divided between the crooked lawyer and his crooked client We repeat.' that something should ba dona mora than merely indulging in talk to put a stop to such a system of tnln-dls- guised blackmail. r rzoroa aoiiviTn. ZU-Timei Lerity that Deierrei Bebuke. Something akin to state disgrace resides a tha action of certain Llncolnltes, whose lack of breeding Is shown in their woeful want of vener ation for ancient things. That they have little or no regard for the sanctity of Institutions hal lowed by time and precious because of antiquity is proven by their lamentable attempt at a prac tical Joke on the decrepit state house. Totter ing to Its well earned rest its gaping cracks and shaky beams each a dumb appeal for consider ate regard, this outworn pile should ba per mitted to end its days in such usefulness aa it may afford, and without being made the target for such pranks as the unidentified Jokers sought to perpetrate. Their levity is Ill-timed and deserves a stern rebuke. Let tha old state house alone, and in good time it will fall down because of sheer decay and weakness. It needs no bomb, however tnQl. to hasten It almg tha way to oblivion. Which ought to forcibly re mind everybody that the question of a new cap ltol building, to be a credit to tha great com monwealth, is now vividly before Nebraskans. Advocates of instant preparedness obtain lit tle encouragement from builders of defensive necessities. The announcement that thirty months is required to build a modern 1.600-ton submarine is a guarantee against over-haste. Turkey's war bulletin editor belittles tha strategy of Grand Duke Nicholas at Erserum and intimates that ths duke took Mush with a knife. These delicate pleasantries materially lighten the pain of a disagreeable subject. TUB NEW Grain Exchanse bulldins, now almost completed and befora Ions to ba dedicated with a formal opentns, la a contribution to tha up building of Omaha whlcn our p"Ple ought duly to appreciate, I looked Into tha building not long ago and waa struck with the convenience and adap tability of tha Interior arrangement, as I had al ready been by tha beauty ahd lmpreairtveneas of tha exterior. I am not yat sura that tha location la tha beat that could have bean had, but Jutting out. as It does, acroas Nineteenth atreet, it looms up on the landscape, looking South from Farnam. In a wy that no slghtaeer oan help noticing it- The trading floor of tha Exchange la light and airy and com modious so far as present demands go, although it la quite poaalble tha growth of another decada of the grain markat here may require still mora room for tho buying and selling pperatlona. I have seen tha homea of various exchanges and bouraea in other cities, tha old and tha new Stock exchange and the Produce exchange in New Tork. tha Board of Trade In Chicago, tha Cotton exchange la New Orleans and soma la foreign eltlea, and by comparison Omaha's exchange ought to be a place for us to point with pride to vlaltlng strangers aa one of tha chief attractions of tha city, Omaha has tributary to It tha finest agricultural oountry In tha world and la the natural market town for the products of this territory the grain, tha live stock, the dairy products, tha orchard, and the farm yard output Whan the Grain exchange was first organised there ware many doubting Thomases, but tho wide-awake and public-spirited men of Omaha outside of the grain trade, who saw its Importance to the dty, got behind It aa a community enterprise, and to nee a term mora expressive than elegant, "put It over." The suooeaaful creation of a grain markat la Omaha, holding its own with tha oldest and strongest markets of tba country in ao short a time, Is proof of what oan ba done when there Is a will as wall as a way. Coming out of tha ''new Oraln Exchange building tha obtrusion of tha fire angina houaa on tha op posite cornera squatty, unattractive building fac ing this magnlfloent structuremakes a decidedly bad Impression. When this new fire house was be ing planned, I urged In Tha Bea that It bo kept off the corner, suggesting a readjustment by trade with tha owner of tha adjoining lot so that tho fire house would "face" Nineteenth street along the allay rather than "deface" the Harney street cqrner and detract from the appearanoe of tha pubilo li brary. Official stubbornness prevented this change, but It will have to come sometime, perhaps by com plete relocation of tho fire houaa. ' I used to walk down town mornings occasionally with tha lata Judge English and ho waa always a delightful companion. I believe tha secret of his popularity and of his success Is accounted for by his quiet persuasive demeanor, his politeness of manner and hie obvious slnoerity commanding tha respect of even those who might be differing with him. I never had any business befora him In court except once and that was when I brought tha suit that forced a cut In the water rata wbloh had been kept by the Water board at a figure denounoed by tha board it self aa "extortionate" when exacted by tho old water company. The ease never oame to trial because the Water board same down oft Its perch and'the suit therefore effected tho object without going to Jude ment, but It waa only because Judge English turned down the plea denying Jurisdiction, otherwise our water users would have been compelled to pay tho old "robber rates' under municipal ownership longer than thay did. Judge English here rendered the pub ilo a service which, should be remembered. Tea, we have had some striking exhibits of the fine quality of Omaha mud already this spring-, but never again will we najra the rich adhealva mud of the rood eld days. Z was talking with a woman. well known socially, the other day, and she told me that when bar family moved to Omaha la the early 7e, taking a house not far from Twentieth and Leavenworth streets, the wagon that brought the household affects up from the depot got stuck In the mud and remained there with the contents for three whole days. At another time the carriage lu which a suitor was taking her sister to the theater became so Imbedded in the mud that he had to earry her to the sidewalk, wading ever his shoetope, and they had te proceed afoot, otherwise they might have spent the night la the middle of the street. Any wonder, the poet, Sax a, once wrote: Has't ever been to Omaha, -Where roDs the dark Missouri down, Where four strong horses soaroe can draw Aa empty wagon through the town? . The death of Peter Ooos lalt week recalls tho palatial Ooos hotel on ths site of the present Mer chants hotel on Farnam street between Fifteenth and Sixteenth streets, which waa the foundation of Oooa' rise to comfort and affluence. Tha Jurtea, by Custom fed there at the county expense, used to refer to It as tha "Hotel da Ooos." When tha Grand Central burned In UTS. depriving Omaha of Its then only first class hotel, various projects were started to replace It, among them one for a new Ooos hotel, and finally culminating in tha building of the Pax ton. The new Ooos hotel also want up at the corner of Fifteenth and Jackson Streets. Before ths name of The Paxtoa was settled upon, one suggestion was to combine the old and the new by calling it "The Grand Paxton." "Wan, then," exclaimed Peter Ooos. 'TO. call mine The Grand Oooet Thirty Years Ago This Day in Omaha ' Compiled from Bee ruea. SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. letrolt Free Pre us: A swimming pool is to be built In a New Tork church. Lt's so to church and take a squint at the bathing suits. Washington Tost: Of course, there can bs no relation between Doo Aked's resig nation from his pastorate and Hank Eord'a expressed determination to apend millions if necessary. Baltimore American: A Pltabargh pas tor ia advising women, on the score of health and comfort, to wear trousers. The large army of henpecked can aasure thla dreaa reformer that too many of them wear the breechea aa It is. Houston Post: A Philadelphia minister says "Do" ought to bo the watchword of Christianity. And yet, wo suppose, he thinks "Don't ought to ba tho watch word of tha law. It la a wise man who keeps his "do" and his "don't" properly employed. Bpiingfleld Republican: The resignation of Rev. Charles E. Dole, for forty years minister of the Unitarian church at Ja maica Plain, will be acted upon at tha regular meeting of the aoclety In April. Mr. Dole is one of the notable divines of Massachusetts. He hopes, after his re tirement, that "in various ways, quite free of the thought of compensation, I may be able by voice or pen to carry tha meeiage of religion, which always grows more beautiful and necessary for the wel fare and happiness of mankind." Philadelphia Ledger: Tho average sal ary of 4,430 clergyman In active service In the Episcopal church is supposed to bo somewhat higher than it Is in other de nominations; but at f 1.300 a year (with TOO paid Iops than $1,000) is can be seen that the figure ia nowhere near what it should be. The clergyman ia expected to be su perhuman at leas than a competency. Even if hie existence be a bitter struggle to kep alive, he is expected to be all things to all man, to preach with Pente costal fire and Intercostal rheumatism, to disregard his own ills and Inspire forti tude and cheer in many who do not earry tithe of his personal burden. It is a favorite economto theory of soma congre gations that one who labors In the vine yard of the Lord should ba well content with the consciousness of virtue, and should somewhere be able to depend on manna from heaven and benevolent ravens, Instead of the coin of the realm whereby unoensec rated mortals live. President Lowell of Harvard says we will all be In the next war thirty or forty years hence. The bright side of that prophecy lies la the inference that this war will end before the next one beglna The United German Singing society gave a delight fill singing entertainment at Germanla hall for the benefit of the German-American school. The organts. atlons contributing were the Musical Union orcheatra, the Maennerchor, the Swlas tinging society and tho Turner quartet. Addressee were made by William Altatadt and J. L Fruehaut James B. Hajrees has reetgned his position la tha general ticket office of the Union Pacific to take charge of the Railway News aa Its manager, Oeorga U Barney win step up a notch to take the Yaoart piaoe. The financial report of tha managers of the charity ball show total receipts of IMS7.90 and expenses of SeHtn, of which t-SO was for hall rant and fiOO for mus.0, leaving net proceeds of liGZUft, The young women of Bradstreeta agency have or ganised a literary society with these of Moors: Miss Oeorglo Bhlpinan, president; Miss Lillle M. Lawrence, vice preeldent; Mlas Nellie F. Dunn, eecretary-treite- urer. City Engineer Roaewater and his assistants are working plans for the sixteenth street viaduct. A reader writes to tell of a woman in Omaha who possesses a Bible printed In the year UOO. K. F. Cedy, la ears of the Chtoags Lumber eon. pany, want te rant for one or two yaare a good tea room dwelling m a goad netghborhood. The county commissioners have obtained the Wilson Boiler works the sheet iron to cover the brtdgea oa tha Elkhora. There will ba three bridges fortified with this armor te protect them from the im ib river runs out. BRIEF BITS OF SCIENCE. The use of the oxygon Inhaler alone has made It possible to make balloon flights above ,000 feet. Morning glory derlvee Its name from tha fact that It blooms only In tho morn ing and the 4 o'olock because they open at that hour In the afternoon. Seaweed offers a prollflo source of fuel oil when present supplies are exhausted. according to an English scientist, who has obtained seven gall ens from a ton of vegetable matter. Those who expect to ltva until H0O have cause for worry, scientists having found that by then the world's capacity as re gards population will have been reached, a total of S.0O0.000.OOO. German - scientists have found that glycerine In a valuable sterilising agent. Various deadly germs, when heated In It to a temperature of I4S degrees Fahren heit, were killed In one minute. This process Is particularly valuable tor startt- Ixing surgical Instruments, for the reason that the metal is not attaokod nor la the temper sifocted. . The homing; capacity of the terns has recently been made a subject of investi gation. At Bird Key, Dry Tortugas, birds ware oaught in their nesting places, tagged, marked with paint en head and neck and carried In .large oagae to a dis tance, whereupon they were liberated and watoh was kept for their return. It was found that the "noddy and sooty tern can return from distance up to 1.000 miles in the absenoa of ail land marks, at least so far as the term land mark' Is understood at present" WHITTLED TO A POINT. Dentists may be property classed as root dootors. Somehow a old man en a motorcycle looks out of place. To have what you want Is wealth; to do without Is power. No man can win success unless he Is In love with his work. It Is a sign of rain when some one hypothecates your umbrella, j The wise man takes a back eaat and watches the fool butt Into danger. The oftener a man fails the more he la addloted to the advlce-glvlng habit. Lawyers are so plentiful that but few criminals get a ohanoe to plead guilty. Some people seek pleasure abroad and find It waiting for them on their return noma. It Isn't always what a man knows but what he doesn't tell that makes us be lieve him wise. . No man la ever born with a silver spoon In his mouth, but lots of men die with gold tn their teeth. It a married man ever becomes truly great, his wife nearly always assumes tha responsibility for It To remove superfluous hair send your well filled mattress to be done over by a tricky upholsterer. A heedless woman Is fortunate In being abla to talk without putting herself to the trouble of thinking. Tho wise' Leap Tear girl always pre tends to know a trifle less than tha young man she la planning to face the parson with. Chicago News. SIGNPOSTS OF FE0QEESS. New Jersey factories employ more than 113,000 workers. An electrically driven machine has boon Invented for sptlttlng kindling wood. Leather waste enters Into the composi tion of much, of the best wall pane. The production of ooppar tn the TJhtbed States last year exceeded ail previous records. An armored automobile built by a Massachusetts man has a steel shell so curved that It will deflect a rifle buUet from any angle. v The report of the United States com missioner of internal revenue shows that 1.7U Illicit distUlerlea were seUed In 1M and 1.131 la 1915. It would naturally bo expected that the owners of laundries would oppose any device that would tend to make washing of clothes at home aaaier. On the other hand, It has developed that the laundry owners are L. favor of the aleo- trio Iron and credit a good deal of In creased business to this appliance, la numbers of eases the houaekeepexs are ridding themselves oc a weekly ensgbaar by sen din S their work to the laoadrkse to be returned "re ash dry." finishing their leisure. In this way the laundries get eonsldeewfcle work which otherwise People and Events. A ' Philadelphia man, suing for a divorce, says his wife deserted him on Friday, the 13th. Hoodooed or luckyT The imposition of a direct atate tax bcoated the tax rate to S.04 in New Tork City an increase of 17 mills over 1J1S. Robert W. Gardner of Hartwick, N. T., has worked as a blacksmith at the same forgo for fifty-four year. He started in as an apprentice pumping the bel lows and his stlckatlveneae annexed the plant In short order. A practical Joker In Detroit sent an undertaker's "black Maria" to a hotel. expecting to ahock a newly-married couple and their ceirbratlng friends. But bride and groom had been married be fore and divorced, and the Joke dlln't feaxe 'em. It is explained in behalf of a Minne apolis policeman accused of flirting while on duty at the railroad station that the Incriminating kiss was given him bya mistake owing to ths density of the fog. That helps to vindicate the young woman's taste, anyhow. The pastor of Shady Avenue Baptist church. Pittsburgh, Rev. Dr. James E. Norerois, believes In trousers for women and said so from the pulblt. He thinks the Chinese imitation la more Impres sive than present feminine styles. It takes all kinds of tastes to make a world. The financial solicitor of the American Defense society In New Tork City sc oured a campaign fund of W.000 before he was relieved of the Job, 'retaining half of it on a fifty-fifty contract. With W,000 for less than a year's work he is convinced that patriotism pays. Johnny Tork of Blcknell. Itvd., was advised by a doctor that he was "a dead one" and urged to aeo atl under taker before midnight Inatead of obey ing orders he took on board sn extra large dinner, went to a matinee, rounded up the town In a taxi and woke up next morning very much alive and with a bead that was a hummer. Human con trariness now and then resents medical wisdom. Rev. Dr. T. H. Hagerty of the Meth odist Episcopal church of St. Louts told his birthday greets that the secret of his IS years of life la the "loose collar." In his youth a doctor told him "his throat waa so affected he could never spesk tn public." With this prophecy in mind Mr. Hagerty chose collars two slses too large and has been preaching for seventy years. Even at IS he preaches three sermons on Sundays. CYNICAL REMARKS. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. After ten years of experimenting a Massachusetts carpenter has built a small table that contains twenty-nine secret drawers. . Joseph Denlse of Dayton. O., who claims to be champion trolley conductor of America has ridden 712,000 miles In street cars, made ten trips a day for twenty two years, with 4.K6.O0O stops, and col lected U, GOO, 000 for his company in fares. The president of a produce company at Phoenix, Aris., got the cold storage habit so badly that ho tried keeping cider. lie has recently been arrested for violating the aloohollo beverage law, which Is re gretted at Phoenix, for he has been ardent as a "dry" . worker. 4 : The Sawtooth National park, which will come Into existence If tho present session of the congress passes a bill that has bean Introduced, is a remarkable tract of 14S.000 aorea in the Sawtooth rang of Idaho, a mountain country said closely to rival Tosemlto in the grandeur of its beauty. The Cheyenne Indians near Clinton. Okl, held an elaborate "at home" in honor of the neighboring Kiowa chiefs and their people. Everything was in high style, many of the tents of both hosts and visitors being furnished with brass bods, carpets and a variety of such orna ments as most appeal to the Cheyenne and Kiowa sense of the artistic AeoordlnaT to an account book of the Second pariah In Falmouth, Me-, dating back to 17U, which Is In the possession of Henry 8. Thrasher of Portland, the minister received IXL3 for preaahlna; seven Sundays. His salary for the year 1736 was 1400, and the salary of Widow Elwell, the same year, for taking care of the meeting house, waa $8.64. "I want a cake of the best' toilet soap you have," a shopper In one of tha big New Tork department stores- said to a saleswoman the other day; "how much Is It, please T" "Two, dollars and ninety cents." was the staggering reply as ths clerk brought forth from a case a small, daintily wrapped package; "and you're lucky to got this, for we're not getting any more of them now." It was a French soap, and the high price, it was said, was due to the exquisite perfume used in Its manufacture. lys an easy matter to take a day orrr but It Isn't every man who can put It back. If some people should ever try to swal low 'their pride they would choke to death. Moat women are cvrlous, but the most curious thing in the world is a woman who lan'i A man must be a pretty good waiter who expecta to have gTeatnesa thrust upon him. The one time a woman can always hit what she alma at ia when she casts re flections. No man Is such a pessimist as to re fuse to believe the good things he hears about himself. It's sll right to mount upward, but the fellow who falls from the top has ths furthest to fall. A woman feels that she has lost her grip when she can no lottger twist a man around her little finger. It sometimes pays tu chuck a bluff. If you can't have your own way, pretend the other way is yours. A man's memory proves that It Is much easier to forget a hat to remember than to remember what to forget. A woman beptna to show her age when ehe doesn't care who looka over the birth m ine lamny BiDie. What a profoundly silent place this world would be if we should talk only when we have something to say. New Tork Times. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "How much ia beefsteak a ' pound asked the man with the hurried manner. The meat merchant told him and added, "how ninny pounds will you have 7" "1 don t want any. I wanted to ascertain how much I am saving by eating scrap ple." Washington Star. Mrs. Krlss (calling down dumb waiter shaft) Is that you. garbage? Voice (floating up) No. mum. I am beans, spinach and potatoes. New Tork Times. Jounc; Husband (angrily) I want you to understand that I Intend to be master in my own house, and I don't want any beck talk from you about it. Young Wife (wearily)-Why, dear, thats Just like the rows father Used to make. Baltimore American. "I told that boy." remarked the teacher. to remain after school and WTlte aome word one hundred tlmea. But I don't think it was any great punishment." "Why not?" "I noticed that he wroto the word HflSlo'1 sin A h 1 1 r A A almaa MltL isiiux:t ui7t W IV-ii SB,I ecstatlo smile." Louisville Courier-Jour nal. tAR MR.kABIB&viT, HOW LATE .SHOULD A HU&A&fii SW CUT AT NIHTf A WIFE AlW AS LATE" AS HE USH StfW WHEN HE WAS rrr Glllet Has anyone an Idea of tho dead man's past life? Perry Oh, yes a complete history. He kept every will he ever made. Life. "These rooms aro cold. That ther mometer only registers fifty-five. "Why don't you send for the Janitor to tinker up the radiator?" "Wouldn't do any good. He'd want to tinker up the thermometer and let it go at that. Louisville Courier-Journal. Mrs. Highupp They seem like a very cheap kind of people.- Mrs. AV'ayupp They certainly lire, Thev actually had the nervo to buy cna of last year's bettleshipa and try to palm it off aa a yacht. Puck. Ruth They say that musfs Inspires men to herolo deeds. Betty Tou ought to play the "Wedding March" when Jack calls some evening. Boaton Tranacript ' TO A QUEEN OF THE MOVIES. J. Kendrick Bangs, In New Tork Times. Twinkle, twinkle, Movie Star, How I wonder what you aro As you fllver o'er tbe scena ' Like an Kv Tsnguayrlne! How ths snowy canvas njnakea. How the filmy sequence shakos. As you culver here and there In your Joy and your despair! Are your cheeks of dough, mv dear. That so bloodless they appear? And your lips, so rosy red. What hath turned them jjray as lead? And your nose so distinguee In Its charming retrousses. Why Is it that thing of grae Wanders loosely o'er your facet And these teeth so pearly white. Once a dental dream of light. What hath happened, oh, alack. Thus to return them inky black? And your stately walk that Z Doted on in days gone by. What hath changed its godlike graoe To this Jerky, Jumpy pace? And those eyes whose lovely glanee Waa designed hearts to entranoa. Tell me. what hath turned them bold Like, two china marbles ould? YOU WILL SURELY DIE WHV NOT LET THE Woodmen Of the World ASSURE YOUR WIDOW REMAINING IN THE HOME AND THE CHILDREN in School NO CHARGE for Explanation. TEXX," DOUGLAS 1117. JOBX T. YATES, Bar. Clerk. W. A. FKASXrn, Sot, Oommsnder. Persistence is the cardinal vir tue in advertising; no matter how good advertising may be in other respects, it must be run frequently and constant ly to be really succcessfuL I would novar com te then i