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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 16, 1914)
Tin; iu:E: omaiia. ikiday. h.toiu;w ir. wm.
The Woman Who Waits
The Folly of Wasting One's Years and Some
of It's Lessons
Birds of a Feather
' 'Slang and Gf gfes efe not Became
tht Malar Woman, " lay
"Alto Cutlivata Inttinet far
Duttcrtii :: By Nell Brinkley
By BEATRICE FA1RFAA.
. "I am a woman of 80 years and have
been receiving attention's from a man for
tha last ten years. He was the main sup
part of his aged mother and sister and I
did not feel as though I would like to be
the rase of a family break-up, but he
always said that If anything happened to
Ills mother be would make me his wife.
Mis mother died In December, and when
I approached the subject he was very
angry and said bis sister had made him
promise he would never marry unless she
went with him. She Is an old maid, near
60 years old. and I do not care for her.
I am considered pretty. Now, do you
think he Just wants my company to show
his men friends he can have a pretty com
panion, or do you suppose he really cares
for me?" writes Llla.
;What I really suppose is this: The
woman who sits for ten years waiting
for ths death of a man's mother or sis
ter to free him from obligations so that
k can marry her is cultivating a very
morbid attitude toward the attainment of
happiness. A man who has not the
energy and Initiative to work vigorously
enough to be able to support a wife (In
addition to taking care of his other bur
dens) In the course of ten years, has not
the heart or brain or spirit to care tor
her with anything that can be classed as
, A girl who sits meekly waiting for ten
years for her liege lord and master-man
to' make good so that he may assume the
burden of supporting her Is likely to be
rewarded for her patience with a vast In
difference when time puts him In a posi
tion to marry her.
I disapprove heartily of the spirit that
.-ounts Ita emotional realization fn tcrnis
of some ,one death. I disapprove
equally heartily of the spirit that permits
a woman to waste ten years of her llfo
and youth In waiting. "And I. disapprove
ilsi'of.the spirit that after waiting ten
years for Its happiness she will not take
it on the terms offered.
. When a man has been loyal to a
mother and sister for ten years, do you
Mpect him to turn that aging sister out
In the streets that a wife, who has not
taught herself to lo-.o tho family of the
man for whom she cares, may have the
happiness she wants? ,
' A situation like this Is wrong from start
to finish, and I quote as an example of
how not to manage your love affairs:
. "If the man you love has, obligations
that make It honestly Impossible for you
toi marry, . the best thing to do Is to try
to put the thought of marriage out of
"If a man loves a woman and can't for
her aake "hustle" sufficiently so that, he
rn support three women Instead of two.
there is a lack of real fervor In his afee-
t "If a woman cares for a man enough to
wait t meekly... for Vhlmv during " ten" long
years; ad: then declines to take her hap
piness If It Includes having ' another
woman who la dependent on him live In
her Jiome, she Is selfish and cold and
calculating In her love.
, This Is one of the many phases of the
folly of waiting long years for a wan to
make good and marry you. .
"Emotions have a way of spending
themselves and getting outworn unless
they are of real sterling quality. The
'woman who waits' 1s likely to lose her
youthful : charm and . the novelty that
fasclnatea end In the end have to make
ay for a.younger sweetheart. 8he may
become leeyih -and exacting through
long years cf 'unfulfilled love. - f?he comes
to he more of a habit than a feeling.
"She sits drearily nbout broking at her
unrealized dreams and finds at last that
all the glow ef feeling has gone from
those once lovely dreams. .And she comes
to know that the man who selfishly asked
her to wait for him has equally selfishly
found some other desired one to take her
place. Or when she can have her love
fulfilled she finds that she has come to
rare with so little depth and favor that
she wont tske what is offered on the
terms she must have It.
"Two selfish snd cold-blooded people
can scarcely hope to be happy together.
My advice, to Ula Is either to love the
man for whom she cares with an all
embracing passion that will Include hi
sister or to dismiss him forever from
her life and be glad that she Is ttfll young
enough and attractive enough to hove for
Advice , to Lovelorn
y B&aTKXCB rjjmr AJC 1
Pear Miss Fairfax: I am deeply in love
with a young man who Is three years my
senior. Although he pays quite" a little
attention to me, he never names the night
that he will see me, but simply says he
will see me some night In the week. He Is
my neighbor. Do you thing this Is the
proper way to make an engagement?
J. A. R.
This Is the way a man who likes a girl
well enough but Is not seriously Interested
In her la likely to treat her. It is per
fectly proper. Suppose some time, when
he tries to see you at his own conven
ience, you have another engagement?
This may make him feel that he has to
exert himself a bit to be with you.
To Win Confidence" DeaerT It.
Hesr Miss Fairfax: I have been en
gawd to a young man since laat May.
Our meeting was more or less a flirta
tion, as I was Introduced to him through
a friend of his whom I met through a
flirtation. My friend Is . very much
saint flirtation, and to make matters
worse before out engagement I told him
of the msny times I flirted and the good
times I had with men. This has see,ned
to make my friend lose his confidence In
me since he feels th'nt I still continue. He
feels he cannot trust me. 1 want his ron
fidnce. How can 1 win It, for I long to
so so? ' MABEI, W.
The best way to win confidence Is ab
solutely to deserve It. Since you were
once so Indiscrete as to flirt, you. must
prove by a long period ef dignified be
havior that you realise your own foolish
ness. This distrust Is the penalty you
must pay for your, actions. Just reads
how wrong your conduct was, and make
up your mind that there will be no more
of It. and I thtnk you will be able to
convince your fiance of your change of
Love and Dot;.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am 22 years of
aire and am deeply In love with a young
lady two years my Junior. I am making
a very fino. salary and can support a wife
comportably, but there la Just oue ob
struction. 1 am an-Oentlle and she a
Jewess. She loves me very much and I
can see no reason why we shouldn't, live
Her parents show no objection whereas
mine do. My father has threatened to
disown me should I marry this particular
girl. Can you advise me. M. B.
If you are convinced that you truly
love your Jewish sweetheart, have a talk
with your futher. Tell him that you can
not "give up either the girl you love or
the parents-Jor whom you care -deeply.
Ask him to meet the girl and to see If his
prejudice Is not. an outworn thing.
I know of no better argument for a fair
hearing of your case than Ella Wheeler
.Wilcox's beautiful lines, "So many gods,
so many creeds, so many ways that wind
and wind, all this sad world needs.
Is Just the art of being kind."
Brotherly love rules today and the
breach between Gentile and Jew Is nar
rowing. Intermarriage will some day do
away with It entirely.
The cook is happy, the
other members of the family
are happy appetites sharpen, thing
brighten up generally. And Calumet
Baking Powder is responsible for It alL
For Calumet never fails. Its
wonderful leavening qualities insure)
perfectly shortened, faultlessly raised
Cannot be compared with
other baking powders, which promise)
Even a beginner in cooking
gets delightful results with this never
foiling Calumet Baking Powder. Your
grocer knows. Ask him.
RECEIVED HIGHEST AWARDS
World's Pure Foad Esposkl . nks, VL
uii Eapsitien, Franca, Mai ca, 1913.
! h A
I 9k ,iK ' ill' P v-'
Little bits of frail, faint yellow and white and lIu, hovering and
sailing, soaring an J flickering, pulsing- for hushed Instants with motion
less, yet breathing wings, dancing from this to that, lifting and falling,
aim loss and whimsical as baby's dreams, pictures of the fancies that
fairies have In their heads, bits of mystery that drift and work (?) and
think apart and foot-loose from the world, nothing do we itnow of you
Fathers' Clubs Supplying Longfelt Wants
By DOROTHY DIX.
We hear a great deal about the In
fluences of mothers, and the duty of
mothers, and the responsibility of moth-
; crs, and so on, but very little Is ever said
about father's place
In the family, apart
from supporting It.
The great msjorlty
of American men
seem to -think that
all a man needs to
give to his children
i Is money, and this
gives us the curious
anomaly of the most
pampered and the
j most neglected
i youngsters in the
world, ana or ratners
who are working
themselves to death
for children with
whom they are not
even casually ac.
For It la only too sadly true that the
average American father does not even
know his own children. He has turned
their rearing entirely over to his wife.
Hi has let her deride every Important
(lucstion connected with them. Bhe has
picked out the schools they go to, the
clothes they wear, the amusements they
enjoy, the friends with whom they as
sociate. Her influence has been the
dominating one In their Uvea. Father has
rounted for nothing except as a bill
(tayer, and it la a literal fact that except
for conventional and financial reasons
most American children had as well have
no father at all as the kind they have
The lack of fatherhood is tho grritteat
danger that menatcs our society turiay.
because no woman, no matter how con
scientiously she tries to do her duty, tan
successfully bring up children alone. They
need a father as well as a mother. They
need a man's strong restraining hand
Just as much as they need a woman's
The very qualities that are the essence
of motherhood Mind devotion tn her
young, limitless pailence, and forgive
ness, an absolute Inability to see her own
as they reslly are, unfit a woman to deal
with the half-grown boy or girl who
needs Justice aa well as mercy, and to be
controlled as well as to be Indulged.
The average mother locks the courage
to deny her children anything that she i
ran possibly give them. She lacks the
force to make them do anything they do
not want to do, and ahe can no more
hold them to doing a hard duty than she
could nail thcni to the cross.
Yet. knowing all of these things, men
calmly step aside and let their wives set
tle the fate of their children, and It
would be an Interesting and an appalling
thing to know how mui-h fatherlessneis
is responsible for the wrecked live we
see about us.
How many a derelcct might aay: "I
lay my failure at my father's door. I
had a silly mother who named me Alger
non Montmorency, Instead of Tom or
Bill, who dressed me up and made a
sissy of mo. who taught me to despise
honest work and be a dabbler In what
she considered an elegant profession.
Bhe sapped the manhood that might have
bien In me, and I became a loafer and a
spender Instead of a worker. If my
father had done his duty by me and
shaped my life. Instead of leaving It to
my foolish mother, I would hve been a
successful man tortay."
Mow many u g.il ho makes a wreck
save that you feed our eye from behind the golden footllght that draws a
magic half-moon between the real things and the "let's make believe!"
Real butterflies, and you who are butterflies in human mask, you all
are over the line, flittering In the land that abuts as out. All we truly
know of you (to put our finger hard and say, "Here Is a real faet with a
face on It!") Is that your wings are painted and you dance at though
you. hearts were light. That's all! NELL BRINKLEY.
of her life could aay: "I am what I am
because I had no father except the figure
of one who was nothing but a cash
regtHter In our house. I had a vnln, weak
mother who taught me to think of noth
ing but dress and fashion and to get
what I wanted, no matter how I got It
Mie ma1e me selfish and vain and heart
less, so that I have been a bliaht on every
lire that I have touched. Yet If my
latber had ever tried, he could have
Mwukened the good that is In me, and
saved me from the curse that Is on me."
Perhaps every father has momonti
when ho reullses his responsibility to his
children, and he Intends, when the critical
moment cornea to guide them safely by
the dangerous place In their roada, but
the difficulty la that fatherhood la not
a crown that you can take off and put on
Besides, how are yoj to Influence a
person of whose mental processes you aro
Ignorant, whose hopes, and thoughts, and
desires are a sealed volume to you? And
ou can't get acquainted with your chil
dren after they are grown. You have to
do that when they are babies.
The greateat md In America today Is
for fathers, real fathers who will be com
panlurts and chums, and guide, oounrelor
and friend to their children, and It !s
cheering to hesr that this long left want
Is being aupplied, and that all over the
country Fathers' clubs are being formed
as well as Mothers' cluba
Dlda't 1.1k the glga.
A western horseman tells of a jorkey at
Windsor, across the line from Detroit,
who wss recently Indisposed.
If t don't get rid of this cold soon,"
said the youngster, "I'll be a dead one."
"Didn't you see Dr. gpltiks, as I told
you?" asked a friend.
"No. The sign on his door said MS to I,'
and I wasn't a ing to monkey with a long
Biiot like that." llariwr'e Weekly.
IT DOESNT PAY to cheep fate powder
auk them, cheap sssretiieaa, most be aasd, aad ll' " m im0r
cheap peu'saatiateaamhs raa eVagweat, sooav HI!s
BMks Itiera. cbesp asgrrhraa, mast be
cheap aatoateaerstfts raa daaoaieus, i
YYatcW for tVt Bctutiful Red Pckgt on
. DisfUy in flu
U) Fa, Fs PWer. Ma.
I TwLi hA O) SI . 00
I 6t rmm JWkU, Pal. W
I.H m il m TaW fwmim. lie.
Madc y Mm. IlK'BKLU Ths woewi most tamou Bcauty Kxwt
Ctssie Lofhis gJgSS??
Tae Waman of rrr Part III.
Forty should bring an added gracious
nss of manner, a cultivation of speech, a
restraint In using colloquiums. It baa he
roine rather the habit with the mother of
dren to adopt
the school boy
and girl slang
that she hears
about her. This
I s sometimes
there are wo
men who can
i arry off such a
Ingly But It is
pose ana me
woman who attempts It should make
sure It suits her. Hetter stand aa the
Ideal for yo'ith than try to Imitate lt-
I do not believe In age claims or llmlta
and I like a woman to do everything that
la becoming to her. but wisdom, serenity
and gentleness of speech and manner are
trait of the old-time gentlewoman that
should not be disregarded.
The silly woman, the giggling woman,
are found at all agrs. but we have less
patience with them as years go on. A
little watchfulness In this direction Is
Pome few won'en are born with aa In
stinct for clothes, but. aa a rule. It Is an
art to be cultlvaud. Experience should
bring a keen knowledge of what la and
what Is not becoming. The womaa of
40 should not experiment with ooters; she
should know the few tn mhloh she looks
her best esvt cling to these. She knows
certain faults of figure that need cor
recting or concealing and should pick out
her coats and gowns to accord.
At the sajne time she should rot make
tha mistake of clinging to certain modes
of dressing, doing her hair, or wearing
rta'n colors because they "always
suited her." The body changes continu
ally; as a Fren. h writer put It, "it Is Ilka
a flowing stream," and It does not al
ways repeat Itself. Be alive tn these
changea and do not mak the mistake of
forgetting that the framing of the face
and figure must change In accord.
The older woman should spend more
time and money on her clothes than la
necessary for a gtrt to spend. Her clothes
nod to be slightly richer In character for
Inexpensive "frillies" that become youth
only accentuate her lack of It . At the
same time her experience In what Is per
sonally becoming keeps her from any
wests of effort or money. It Is tha mo
ment when from the dress standard a
woman la at her beet.j
If this Is not so, the fault Is with the
woman. A woman St. 40 years should
know how to dress herself and, aartori
ally, he at an advantage over the younger
(To be Continued )
To remove fruit stains from tablecloths
and serviettes, apply powdered starch to
to stained parts and leave for several
hours till all the discoloration has been
absorbed by the starch.
Always put scrubbing brushes to dry
with the bristles face downwards. This
lengthens their lives considerably, aa If
dried the other way the water naturally
oaks Into the wood and rots the bristles.
Halt will remove blaekbeetle. Put
plenty of aalt where the beetles frequent,
and keep It there for a week. Do not
leave any water where the Insects go.
When they eat the salt It will dry u
their bodies. .
Mackintoshes, when dirty, can be easily
cleaned at home., Spread out the garment
flat on the table and scrub with warm
water and yellow soap la which a little
carbonate of ammonia has been dissolved,
to dry. ' On no aocount put It aear the
fire. - .
t, lor, h
J, - ; sr
V as anas aceneesite is halt at Is buy good lacs powder aad
as k Stors cafahillj, keeping the bos covered aad avotduta, waste.
The right see ei s good face pewdw beaeSta a dry. saDow or
rave ekia. My hn F PumJsr k cbetaicaUy page aad
walassass sad is aoU at as lew a ptics as pasrible.
TVis aeanlet keeps the aVia besutilkOy fieak, soft aad cteae,
wfcb e dliists aad dsesly k4sissnosssysJ by a etbei powder.
Oae ef tfte dine shades will bleed aatasaDy wab jrnes ess.!
aiexioaw aad aS the time you ate coascious diat as am ecUssB
Leases, ita skis, fat is weadeduUy deea, wbolsaasse aad saaia-
km. BUA Sock Hmmm. IU.
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Man. Ul D. C Dajaaaas Penla UM.
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