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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 16, 1914)
Tin; nEE: omaiia. kkidav. (ktohkk ir. urn.
The Woman Who Waits
The Folly of "Wastitp One's Years and Some
of It's Lessons
Birds of a Feather :: Buttcrinc- :: By Nell Brinkley
' 'Slang an J Giggtoi afe nof Bteomo
tho Mature Woman, " lay
"Alto Cultivata Inttinet for
a- ' M
lij BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
. "I am a woman of JO years and have
been receiving attentions from a man for
th last ten years. Ha as the main sup
port of hl aged mother and slater and I
did not feel as though I would Ilka to be
the case of a family break-up, but he
always said that If anything happened to
lils mother he would make me his wife.
Ills mother died In December, and when
I approached the subject he was very
angry and said his sister had made him
promlso he would never marry unless she
went with him. She Is an old maid, near
60 years old, and I do rot care for her.
I am considered pretty. Now, do you
think he Just wanta my company to show
his men friends he can have a pretty com
panion, or do you suppose he really cares
for me?" writes I.lla.
.What I really suppose is this: The
woman who sits for ten years waiting
for tha death of a man's mother or sis
ter to free him from obligations so that
ho can marry her Is cultivating a very
morbid attitude toward the attainment of
happiness. A man who . has not the
energy and Initiative to work vigorously
enough to be eble to support a wife (In
addition to taking care of his other bur
dens) In the course of ten years, has not
the heart or brain or spirit to care lor
her with anything that can be classed as
,'A girl who slta meekly waiting for ten
years for her liege lord and master-man
to' make good so that he may assume the
hurden of supporting her Is likely to be
rewarded for her patience with a vast In
difference when time puts him in a posi
tion to marry her.
I disapprove heartily of the spirit that
counts Its emotional realisation m terms
of some .one's death. I disapprove
equally heartily of the spirit that permits
a woman to waste ten yenrs of her llfo
and youth in waiting. "And I disapprove
la 'of. the spirit that after waiting ten
years for Its happiness she will not take
It on the terms offered.
, When a man has been loyal to a
mother and sister for ten years, do you
f-xpecl him to turn that aging sister out
In the streets that a wife, who has not
taught herself to lo-.e tho family of the
man for whom she cares, may have the
nappine'ss she wanta? . ' "
A situation like this Is wrong from start
to finish, and I quote as an example of
how not to manage your love affairs:
. "If the man you love has, obligations
that make It honestly Impossible for you
fd marry,, the best thing to do Is to try
to put the thought of marriage out of
"If a man loves a woman and can't for
her sake "hustle" sufficiently so that, he
cn iupport three women Instead of two,
there Is a lack of real fervor in his afee-
, "If a woman cares for a man enough to
wait .meekly , for Vhlm during' ten' Jong
years"; and' then declines to take her hap
piness If It Includes having another
Woman who Is dependent on him live In
her "home, she Is selfish and cold and
calculating In her love.
.This Is one of the many phases of the
folly of waiting long years for a man to
make good and marry you.
"Emotions have a way of spending
themselves and getting outworn unless
they are of real sterling quality: The
'woman who waits is likely to lose her
youthful charm and . the novelty that
fascinates nnd In the end have to make
way for a. younger sweetheart. She may
become peevish -aha .exacting through
long years' cf -unfulfilled love.' She comes
ti be more of a habit than a feeling.
"She sits drearily nbout looking ut her
unrealized dreams and finds at last that
all the glow cf feeling has gone from
those once lovely dreams. And she comes
to know that the man who selfishly asked
her to wait for him has equally selfishly
found some other desired one to take her
place. Or when she can have her love
fulfilled she finds that she has come to
rare with so little depth and favor that
lie wont take what ts offered on the
terms she must have It.
"Two selfish and cold-blooded people
can scarcely hone to be happy together.
My advice, to IJIa Is either to love the
man for whom she cares with an all
embracing passion that will Include hla
sister or to dismiss him forever from
her life and be glad that she Is still young
enough and attractive enough to hove for
Advice , to Lovelorn
By BBATmiCB TAIBfAX
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am deeply In love
with a young man who Is three years my
senior. 'Although he pays quite" a little
attention to me, he never names the night
that he will see me, but simply says he
will see me some night In the week. He Is
my neighbor. Io you thing this Is the
proper way to make an engagement?
J. A. R.
This Is the way a man who likes a girl
well enough but Is not seriously Interested
In her la likely to treat her. It is per
fectly proper. Suppose some time, when
he tries to see you at his own conven
ience, you have another engagement?
This may make him feel that he has to
exert himself a bit to be with you.
To Win Confidence- DejserT It.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I have been en
gaged to a young man sine last May.
Our meeting was more or less a flirta
tion, us I was Introduced to him through
a. Trk-nd of his whom I met through a
flirtation. My friend Is . very much
against flirtation, and to make matters
worse before out engagement I told him
of the many times I flirted and the good
times I had with men. This has seemed
to make my friend lose his confidence In
me since he feels that I still continue. He
feels he cannot trust me. I want hla con
fldnce. How can I win It, for I long to
so so? ' MABF.I.W.
The best way to win confidence is ab
solutely to deserve It. Since you were
once so Indiscrete as to flirt, you must
prove by a long period ef dignified be
havior that you realise your own foolish
ness. This distrust Is the penalty you
must pay for your, actions. .Just realise
how wrong your conduct was, and make
up your mind that there will be no more
of It, and I think you will be able to
convince your fiance of your change of
. Lore and Dnty.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am 28 years of
age and am deeply In love with a young
lady two years my Junior. I am making
a very fino. salary and can support a wife
comportably, but there is just one "ob
struction. I em an -Gentile and she a
Jewess. She loves me very much and I
can see no reason why we shouldn't, live
Her parents show no objection whereas
mine do. My father haa threatened to
disown me should I mrtrry this particular
girl. Can you advise me. M. B.
If you are convinced that you truly
love your Jewish sweetheart, have a talk
with your father. Tell him that you can
not "give up either the girl you love or
the parsntS'ior ' whom yon care - deeply;
Ask him to meet the girl and to see If hla
prejudice Is not an outworn thing.
I know of no better argument for a fair
hearing of your case than Ella Wheeler
.Wilcox's beautiful lines, "So many gods.
so many creeds, so many ways that wind
and wind, all this sad world needs,
Is Just the art of being klpd." . K
Brotherly love rules today and the
breach between Gentile and Jew is nar
rowing. Intermarriage will some day do
away with it entirely.
The cook is happy, the
other members of the family
are happy appetites sharpen, things
brighten up generally. And Calumet
Baking Powder is responsible for it alL
For Calumet never fails. Its
wonderful leavening qualities insure
perfectly shortened, faultlessly raised
Cannot be compared with
other baking powders, which promise)
Even a beginner in cooking
gets delightful results with this never
failing Calumet Baking Powder. Your
grocer knows. Ask him.
RECEIVED HIGHEST AWARDS
World's Pura Feed EapaakiM, Ckicaaa. DL
. aril Eayatian. Franca, Maick. 1912.
i J .
Uttle bits of frail, faint yellow and white and blue, hovering and
Baillnir. (oarlng-and flickering, pulling for huehed instants with motion-
less, yet breathing wings, dancing
almlnss and whimsical as baby's
fairies have In their heads, bits of
think apart and foot-loose from
Fathers' Clubs Supplying Longfelt Wants
Dy DOROTHY DIX.
We hear a great deal about the In
fluence of mothers, and the duty of
mother, and the responsibility of moth
ers, and so on, but very little I ever said
about father's place
In the family, apart
from supporting It.
The great majority
of American men
seem to -think that
all a man needs to
give to his children
Is money, and this
gives us the curious
anomaly of the most
pampered and the
youngsters In th
world, and of father
who are working
thcmselve to deoth
for children with
whom they re not
even casually ac.
For It 1 only too sadly true that th
average American father does not even
know hi own children. He has turned
their rearing entirely over to hi wife,
lit has let her decide every Important
(inestion connected with them. Bhe ha
picked out the schools they go to, the
clothes they wear, the amusements they
enjoy, the friends with whom they as
sociate. Her influence ha been the
dominating one in their lives. Father has
counted for nothing except s a bill
payer, and It is a literal fact that eacept
for conventional and financial reason
most American children had as well have
no father at si! as the kind they have
Th lark of fatherhood is th greatest
danger that menaics our society today,
muni n t :t r r
from this to that, lifting and falling,
dreams, pictures of the fancies that
mystery that drift and work (?) and
the world, nothing do we Know of you
because no woman, no matter how con
scientiously sIib tries to do her duty, can
successfully bring up children alone. They
need a father aa well as a mother. They
need a man's strong restraining hand
just as much as they need a woman's
The very qualities that are the essence
of motherhoodblind devotion to her
young, limitless patience, and forgive
ness, an absolute Inability to see her own
as they really are, unfit a woman to deal
with tho half-grown boy or girl who
need justice aa well as mercy, and to be
controlled as well as to be Indulged.
The average mother lacks the courage
to deny her children anything that she
can possibly give them. She lacks the
force to make them d. anything they do
not want to do, and she can no more
hold them to doing a hard duty than she
could nail them to the cros.
Yet. knowing all of these things, men
calmly step aside and let their wives set
tle the fate of their children, and It
would be an Interesting and an appalling
thing to know how mueh fatherlessness
Is responsible for the wrecked Uvea we
see about us.
How many a derelect might say: "I
lay my failure at my father's door. I
had a llly mother who named me Alger
non Montmorenry, Instead of Tern or
Bill, who dressed me up and made a
sissy of m. who taught me to despise
honest work and be a dabbler In what
she considered an elegant profession.
Bhe sapped the manhood that might have
bin in me, and I became a loafer and a
spender Instead of a worker. If my
father had done his duty by me and
shaped my life. Instead of leaving It to
my fuollsh mother, I would have been a
aticcesaful Man today."
How many u g.il who makes a wreck
v that you feed our eye from behind the golden footlight that draw a
ma,c ha-m.oon between the real
Real butterflies, and you who are
are over the line, flittering in the land that shuts as out. All t truly
know of you (to put our finger hard and say, "Here Is a real fact with a
fBCa 0n , tbftt your wlngi ars
your hearts were light. That's all!
of her life could ssy: "I am what I am
hecause I had no father except the figure
of one who was nothing but a cash
reglHter in our house. I had a vnin, weak
mother who taught me to think of noth
ing but dress and fashion and to get
hat I wanted, no matter how I got !t.
Khe made me selfish and vain and heart
leas, ao that I have been a bllaht on every
life that I have touched. Yet if my
tatber had ever tried, lie could have
awakened tho good that is In me, and
saved me from the curse that I on me."
Perhaps every father has moments
when ho reullzes his responsibility to his
children, and he intends, when the critical
moment comes to guide them safely by
the dangerous place In their roada, but
the difficulty Is that fatherhood la not
a crown that you can take off and put on
Resides, how are you to Influence a
person of whose mental processes you aro
Ignorant, whose hopes, and thoughts, and
desires are a sealed volume to youT And
you can't get acquainted with your chil
dren after they aro grown. You have to
do that when they are babies.
The greatest need In America today Is
lor fathers, real fathers who will be com
panions and chums, and guide, counselor
and friend to their children, and It Is
cheering to hear that thle long left want
la being aupplied. and that all over the
country Fathers' clubs are being formed
as well a Mother' clubs.
Didn't MUe the
A western horseman tells of a Jockey at
Windsor, across the line from Detroit,
who was recently indisposed.
"If I don't get rid of this cold soon,"
said the youngHtcr, "I'll be a dead one."
"Didn't you see I"r. 8plnki, a I told
you?" asked a friend.
"No. The aign on his door said 'lfl to 1,'
and I wasn't K ing to monkey with a long
shot like that." Harper's Weekly.
thinca and the "lefe make believe!
butterflies in human mask, you all
pBmted and you dance as though
T DOLSNT PAY to ess cheap (at powder, tat, te
I suae them, cbeap taaraotraai mo be aatd, sad t I Ti ?-k.
suae them, cbeap SkfrsoVwai moat be
cheap iagraUat) at karatha eras aUaglaut, I
Wtck or tft Beautiful Red Package., on
. DispUy in RU Lc4in Stores.
Mat L,wt tmmUo, Faw FWwW. k.
I Hsiswiai. VTakaaTPoaS. lie.
MAD BY MMC ISC'BKLA. TNI WOSLO'I MoeT rAMOLIS BSAtTY sUtwrr
I f esaal sw
LltSSie LOfltia 'Dawkwa..
. 1 ftwHruaaiaieSWnav liaraMaasmltkaaay
mlOmmtmmUoKimiimmialmJml-m. Yawasii ..,.Ci, UJrTUV, . ,
T Woman of 'srlr rart III.
Forty should bring an added graclous
nes of manner, a cultivation of rneech. a
restraint In using cllnqusma. It haa be
come rather the habit with the mother of
dren to adopt
the school boy
and girl slang
that she hears
about her. This
I s sometimes
there are wo
men who can
carry off such a
ingly But It ts
pose snd the
woman who attempts It should make
sure It suits her. Hetter stand aa the
Ideul for yo'ith than try to Imitate it.
I do not believe In age claims or limits
and I like a woman to do everything that
Is becoming to her. but wisdom, serenity
and gentleness of speech and manner are
traits of the old-time gentlewoman that
should not be disregarded.
The silly woman, the giggling woman,
are found at alt agvs. but we have less
patience with them as years go on. A
tittle watchfulness In this direction ts
Pome few women are born wltft aa In
stinct for clothes, but, as a rule. It ts an
art to be nultlveud. Experience should
bring a keen knowledge of what Is and
what Is not becoming. The woman of
40 should not experiment with color; he
should know the few in which sh looks
her best and cling to these. She knows
certain faults of figure that need cor
rertlng or lonceallng and should pick out
her coats and gowns to accord.
At the miiii time alia should not make
th mistake nf rllnaina to certain modes
of dressing, doing her hair, or wearing
mrta'n colors because they -always
suited her." The bodr changes continu
ally: as a French writer put t, "It Is like
flowing stream," and It aoea not ai-
mv rnneat Itself. Be alive tO these
changes and do not make the mistake of
furgeltlng that the framing of the face
and figure must change In accord.
Tha older woman should soend more
time and money on her cloths' than Is
necessary for a girl to spend. Her clothe
need to be slightly richer In character for
Inexpensive "frillies" that become youth
onlv eecantuatn her lack of It. . At the
same time her experience In what la per
sonally Dcroinuig seeps nrr ircm any
wsste of effort or money. It la the mo
ment when from tha dress standard a
wftman Is at her best.
If this la not so, the fault ! with the
woman. A woman at. 40 year should
know how to dress herself and, ssrtort
lly. be at an advantage over the younger
(To be Continued.)
To remove fruit stains from tablecloths
and serviettes, apply powdered starch to
to atalned parts and leave for several
hour till all the discoloration haa been
absorbed by tho starch.
Always put, scrubbing brushes to div
with the bristle face downward. This
lengthens their lives considerably, "as If
dried the other way the water naturally
risks Into the wood and rots tha bristle.
Halt will remove blackbeetlM. ' Put
plenty of salt where the beetle frequent,
and keep It there for a week, Do not
leave -any water where the Insects go.
When they eat the salt It will dry u
their bodies. . 1
Mackintoshes, when dirty, can bo easily
cleaned at home.. Spread out the varment
flat on th table and scrub with warm
water and yellow soap la which a little
carbonate of ammonia has beea dissolved.
to dry. ' On bo account put It near the
If eae anal acar. Maize b is bettor to buy food fae powder sad
b Si or cafafullj, seeping the bos covered and aToajiog wast.
Toe right aw el S good face powder beaefiu a dry. sallow or
touA skia. Mjr Fom Ptoisr b chemically pore e4
allow owe ii soU at a low a pike a poanUo.
Tba pewdo keen th skia beautsVDr (rah. (oft Swd deaf,
with S da1 Wats sad dtawty awslaMsseowwsyed by we etttei paw dor.
Ob ef die (bras ihades will bland natataBy wok yota csaa-l
pianos, swd of the time jrou an coascious that its ess ectaalh
L iwmssi ate skia, fc e is W'eadctfuUy tleaa, wheUaess sea mtb '
(bJ1! Natural RlaA Raasa, Me.
Vrf Kaa btaat boca KaaaL U.
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WW w. bal b. C b 1 I Pa
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UM-IUn laafM TaaaataltaCk CJaaSaa
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