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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1914)
THE BiflB; OMAHA, MONDAY, FEBEUABY 2, i914.
TBJ5 OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY KDWAKD KOSK'WA'rRR.
VICTOlt noatlWATEIt, KUITOH.
HKB BUlhDlNO. FAHKAM AND 1TTH.
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Communications relating to news and
editorial matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ttt.i
Dwlght AVIIIIams, circulation manager
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of December,
1312, was 2.148.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to
before me this Jd day of-January, 1814,
IIO BERT HUNTER.
(Seal.) Notary Public
Subscribers tearing the city
temporarily ahonld Iiuto Tits Bee
mailed to them. Address will bo
cfcana-ed nu often na raqucMtcxI.
Good morning, Mr. Ground-Hog!
We take no stock In tho rumor of
UnerU financing tho Federal league.
John Llnd may not Inspire as many
songs as Jenny, but ho doos not otrlko
many false notes.
"Murphy said to mo, 'You'll bo a
hell of a governor,' " says Sulzor,
Murphy was right.
Sun or no sun, winter Isn't likely
to run much longer than six weeks
under worst of conditions.
Tho trouble seems to have boon tho
failure of tho head brakoman to ap
ply the Frisco brakes In time.
Considering that ho roso from
KokfHHO, Senator John W Kern do
wrvee to b ranked among tho near
grextt. Metcalfe ought to make a fine
evapgelUt for the Panama. He has
the optimism or, Little Bishop 8un
feam, Much excitement over the fact that
the president of Hayll fled. "What
did they expect him to do, stand and
It Is tt little early for forecasts,
but we are reckless enough, to pre
dict Texas goes for Wlhwa by a safo
It Ak-Sar-Ben'a plan for a "home
coming" works out, what a wonder
ful gathering of good follows wo will
have In Omaha In October. '
Yes; British government Btopped
the strike la South Africa. It also
interrupted a etrlko In our own prov
ince once, new sua tho result.
Does the esteemed doublo-eader
think It jmj b4 for A democratic state
official to refuse to enforce a law as
for a republican city official to fail
to do so?
The water bow" chief organette tig
urea out that the exeM dally col
totted from patrons of the water
jtat w exaetly 17 77 a day, which is
Describing a funeral, a rural con
temporary rnya the pallbearers came
out of th-e church "with slow and sol
emn tread." Evidently they did not
atrg dancing tho tango.
Omaha thinks a lot of tho old
Union Pacific, but not much of the
eaatara auditors' policy that doprlvos
faithful employes sonio heads ot
famUs and home ownersof work
in the midst of winter.
They say Editor Pcndell is just the
man for Ilusslan ambassador. Pos
xlbly, but here is a guess that tho
president will not got Jlmhamlowla to
write letters the next time he goes
lect an ambassador.
Getting ready for tho grand jury Is
occupying much time in certain
circles in theso parts just now, What
the public hopes for Is that the grand
Jury will get down to bottom facts on
the list of rumors it will bo enter
SuprJatndent Hyder'a last night
m head ot tho pollco forco was de
voted to showing one way of solving
the problem that is now before Super
iatendent Kugel. If tho proprietors
go to jail, it won't, bo long until lid
lifting i very unpopular in Omaha,
A!o, when Kansas City ha Its respon
ttk commission form of government
tuch erdlaanccs as those of the Society
(or the Suppression ot Vice will not be
' imm iJwWely postponed," The city admin
tstratleti will meet Ha lues fairly and
iqury d glvo reasons for Its actions,
-KansM City Htar.
' IjSf, It wit! ho because ot the dlt-
ferwsM la personnel and not form ot
MovftrafctMt. At least tht has been
thfl'experteftce everywhere else.
Another of tho dreams of the
founder of Tho Dee seems to bo com
ing true. At nil times ho was an
advocato of government ownership ot
telegraph and telephone linos. Twlco
a delegate to tho International Postal
congress, and once especially charged
by thd postmastor general to make,
personal investigation ot tho tele-
graph and telophone systems of Eng
land and France, Edward Roso water
was thoroughly familiar with all the
phases ot the problem. Publicly and
privately, through his paper and be
foro committees of congress, he advo
cated governmental ownership of all
means of transmission of messages.
And now, for the second timo within
threo years, a postmaster general had
recommended the acquisition of con
trol of tho wires by the ccncral gov
Others of the great policies advo
cated by The Deo have been taken up
and put into effect; why not this
Up to Fool and Morehead.
Itbor Commissioner Pool has absolutely
refused to enforce the laws here regu
lating tho employment of female labor.
Wo of tho Central Labor union
hero know that Commissioner Pool knows
Hint tho law regarding the employment
of women la being violated In Omaha and
wo know further that he has refused to
enforce It. Ho has oven gone
further and told deputy factory Inspectors
to put tho "soft pedal" on certain fac
tories and above all to abstain from mak
ing any political cnemlfe.
TIicbo definite charges against a
stato official, mado by a member of
tho Central Labor union of Omaha,
arc far too grave to be lgnorod or
lightly passed over. They Involve not
only Mr. Pool, but Governor More
head. If tho governor did not know
the situation before, ho knows It now,
that Is, if it exists, as these men say
It does. And knowing it, what is the
governor going to do about It?
Central Labor union loadors say
whon running for governor Mr. More-
head came to Omaha and sought their
support and ought now to enforce tho
law bo vitally affecting thohi. Yes,
but ho ought to onforco it on tho
broader ground that his oath of bftice
obligates him to.
Mr. Pool may bj playing cute poli
tics in having his deputies "abtnln
from making any political onemies,"
but before ho rounds out his cam
paign for tho democratic nomination
for governor, ho may loom that it Is
bettor to Incur the displeasure of a
few big voters than many little ones.
Canal Keeps Ooetbah.
The man who built the canal will
stay to start ita operation. Goethals
remains on the Job as governor of the
Panama. That is bb It should be.
Young Mr. MlCchel will havo to play
another. card'and trust to tho galler
ies for the trump. Now York has
worried along thus far and may got
through the rest of the way without
George W. Goethals who nevor had
any experience In that line of work
to direct its police department. If
there Is to be any oftico seeking the
man, let the man bo tho servant ot
tho wholo peoplo, who need him
most. When wo aro through with
Governor Goethals In tho Panama
if wo over should bo maybe wo can
uso him in Alaska.
Meantime, what Ib tho matter with
our "lot George do It" suggestion?
Make Mr. Perkins chlof ot pollco In
New York; and bo dono with It.
A Multitude of Counsellors,
Whera no counsel U U10 peoplo fall; but
In tho multitude of counsellors there Is
What, then, lack we yet, with our
Louie Brandelses, Norm Hapgoode,
Doc Woods Hutchlnsons, Doc Wileys,
old Doo Cooks, Doo Anna Shaws, Col
lier's, llttjo Boa LlndBayc, Wiscon
sin's eugenic experts, Mr. Dryans and
young Mr. McCormtcks. not to oDeal:
of the chief monitor of our minds and
morals now Instructing foreign na
tions and a tew other multitudes of
wise and willing counsellors?
ii 11 wkcs a inummuo 01 counsel
lors to keep u nation from falling, wq
cortalnly ought to be secure on our
feet. Wo aro he moro advised na'
tlon In the world and nit our advisers
are experts, and many of them well
paid', showing that, whether Bafe for
us or not, it is mighty profitable tor
Dabel had nothiug on tho confu
sion of tongues wagging around our
bofoggled heads today.
A Case of Spoils.
Tho biggest sensation Washington
has known for some time comes from
the explosion ot that bomb under the
Treasury department, divulging 1
stato of dismal confusion and incom
petency, which, it Is believed, will re
sult, aa it should, in radical official
changes. Wheroon bangs, incident
tally, another littlo pie story.
A firm of certified public account
ants has just completed an Investiga
tion, reporting not only utter Incom
petency, impairing the efficiency ot
the entire department, but Jeopardis
ing tho safety ot tho public funds,
Tho head of (he department is
former Governor John Burke pf
North Dakota, "treasurer of tho
United Btatea," He was appointed,
not because ot his known skill and
excellence In finances, but as the
man wbo dollvered the North Dakota
delegation to tho Wilson forces at
Baltimore. He had already been u
Bryan favorite and was supposed to
bo Bryan's choice for vice president.
This is the tale
TPSX in Omaha
cmriut ihom sic nus
Thirty Years Ago
Another first class undertaking estab
lishment has bern located In Omaha
tinder the name of Hunn & Co., corner
fifteenth and Capitol avenue. "Mr.
Hunn, the senior partner, comes to this
city with an experlenco of thirty-five
years as an embalmcr." First class
hearses nnd carriages will bo furnished
a, lints Ilagen arrived in Omaha, and
assumed tho duties of assistant at tho
government signal service office, suc
ceeding Mr. Hatfield.
Manager McKelvcy of tho Union Pa
cific baso ball nlno has returned from
the western nssociatton meeting at Rock-
ford, and hopes for a splendid aeries ot
games this season.
There Is no doubt but that tho ground
hog has crawled back In his hole, ns
any hog, that camo out of the earth to
day could not help but aeo his shadow.
The "Siberia" company closed Its
engagement by Boyd's tonight with the
largest business ever done at that houso
with threo successive entertainments.
D. Oill, 814 South Tenth street, offers
n reward for the return of a lost New
foundland pup, wjlh four whlto toes,
and a while spot on tho breast.
Councilman Charles Kauffman left for
Tho young people pf the Congregational
church gave a delightful tea party last
Twenty Years Ago
Vice President Cowetl of the Kllpatrlck
Koch Dry Goods company, said Its fac
tory at East Omaha was laboring under
tho embarrassment of more orders than
It could conveniently fill. It was running
with fifty-five hands and could employ
twenty moro If they were available.
Oeorgo 1J. Dandy, Jr., son of Oenoral
Dandy, fell heir to an oppolntment by
President Cleveland to cadet-at-largo
from Omaha to West Point. George jfaa
SO years ot ago and said he expected to
enter school In June.
Chairman 1'ort of the Nebraska Irriga
tion association called on Commissioner
Utt of the Omaha Commercial club and
arranged for tho holding of the Irrigation
convention In this city In March.
Tho Douglas County Fair association
held a meeting at tho Board of Trade
building and appointed W. N. Naaon. H.
H. Walker nnd E. H. Sehroodcr a com
mittee to select a place tor the next fair.
It was announced at Union Poclflo
headquarters that tho fact that Receiver
Trumbull of the Denver & Gulf had
been flirting With the Burlington and
Rock Island for n basis ot passenger traf
fic agreement did not disturb tho Union
Pacific, and that If the agreement was
formed the Union Pacific would not seek
Ten Years Ago -Mr.
Paffenrath. assistant manager for
J. E. Markel, said Mr. Market had no
notion of taking over tho eating houses
along the Union Pnclclc, as report
stated, for his business Interests wero
In such shapo as to enable htm to drift
along smoothly without worrying with
the task of these eating houses.
Lillian, thd littlo 1-ycar-old daughter ot
Mr. and Mrs. L. Baughman, Dll North
Twenty-fifth avenue, was burned to
death and Vernon, 3 years old, was
burned sllghtl as also was the Another,
by a fr that broke out in the house.
Kinney Billings, who had been In Cuba
for several years, was In town visiting
his father, A. p. Hillings.
Tho twenty-third anniversary of tho
Christian Endeavor was celebrated with
a banquet at tho Dclldne hotel. Arthur
Chaso, stato president, acted as toast
mastor nnd Judgo W, V. Hlabaugh, Rov.
K. A. Potter and Airs. E, A. Oarlow,
stato secretary, were the principal speak
en. W. I). Backus of Boneeteel, S. D an
attorney Interested In throwing open a
largo part ot tl Rosebud reservation,
stopped In Omaha on routo from Wash
ington, whero ho had been pushing the
bill for. that purpose. Ho said It had
rosy prospects and everything looked tine
for the Rosebud.
Ovqr Land and Sea
Constantinople Is spending tl.SW.oeo in
Klglity aeroplanes were seen In flight
at ono time In Spain at a meet
Norway and Sweden aro adopting loc
trlo elevators Jn apartment houses.
Austria, from September 1. 191!, to July
31, 1913. produced $15,988,000 gallons ot beer.
Tho Importation ot a, German embroid
ery machlno In Fanchal, capital ot Ma
deira, has caused great uneasiness among
the 40,000 hand embroiderers on the
Tho coal trade enjoyed a year ot phe
nomenal prosperity. The Iron and steel
Industries also flourished, and la ship
building Great Britain maintained (ts su
premacy. Hemsheld, u city In Germany with a
population ot 78,000, has Installed a new
municipal bath, and during tho present
year the attendance has averaged more
than 3,000 bathers dally.
According to Prof. Schwalbo'a Medical
Directory for Germany tor 1914, the num
ber ot physicians In Germany In 1913 was
34,196. Compared with the population,
ta.SB.OOO. this gives 5.11 physicians per
Mauritius, forming, with its dependen
cits, a British crown colony. Is about (30
mllra east ot Madagascar and sixty-five
in!es northrast of Reunion, and had, on
December 31, 1918, a total population of
371,437, of whom lis, 053 wero Indians.
Budapest, Hungary, has a new regula
tlon which stipulates that general shops
be closed from S o'clock. In the evening
tut S o'clock In the morning, and pro
vision shops from $: p. m. to 5 o'clock
In tho morning.
Even littlo Switzerland Is crying out
against the Increasing cost ot the mill
tary arm of government Tho total esti
mated revenue of Switzerland tor 1914 Is
130,000,000, The total estimated expend!
ture of the government la 321,465,000. By
far the heaviest Item of expenditure Is
thn army, which rails for (9,150,000,
Trade, Industry and agriculture call for
13.JT5.Oao and tbo home office tor 33,,090.
A I'rfclown I.teToat.
The Colorado hen that drank from a ra
llum spring and now give, her master
two eggs p4r tllem answers old Omar's
ages old conundrum: 'I sometimes won
der what the chickens eat one-half uo
lucc.uu as tho eggs they la)-.'
Twice Told Tales
The lata Franklin Simmons, the famous
American sculptor who recently died In
Rome, was an exponent of the frank,
"How much more amusing tho true is
than the ideal," he said one day In his
studio to a correspondent. "Take the case
of tho little girt.
" 'My dear,' tho little girl's mother said,
'don't you think you're getting too old to
play with boys?
'The little girl frowned In scornful as
tonishment " 'Why, no, mammal' sho nrlcd Impa
tiently. Tho older I get the better I like
em.' "-Philadelphia Telegraph.
Tun ah Steak.
A noted New York architect said of
a recent criticism of skyscrapers!
"This criticism Is not fair. It Is preju
diced. Hence It will do moro harm than
good llko tho remark of tho waiter.
To a waiter wbo was under notice to
leave, a guest said in a restaurant:
"'Waiter, confound It, this steak Isn't
" 'Not tender enough?' the waiter
snarled. 'Ah, what do you expect Do
you want It to Jump up and hug and kiss
your" New York Sun.
The following exchange of courtcsv
was recently chronicled In a German pa
'The gentleman who found a brown
purse containing a sum of money, in tho
Biumenstrasse, is requested to forward It
to the address ot tho loser, as ho is recog
nised." A couple ot days later appeared the re
sponse, which, although courteous, had
an elusive air, to say the least:
'Tho recognised gentleman who picked
up a brown p n the Biumenstrasse
requests the loser to call at his house at
a convenient day."
From Many, One.
"This is our most valuable fowl," said
tho amateur hen farmer.
"A fine bird," remarked tho visitor, try
ing to look wise.
"Yes, Indeed. Wo lmv
"Why tho namo?" th vl.if.
"She Cmo from (hn nnl,. ,
- " ". -tft limb
hatched Of fifty In thn lnpnh.tn."u.
York Times. "
Brooklyn Eagle: Janan )
the way toward occidental rivii(ai tc
Its navy officers can wring graft money
oui ot uerman firms in return for con
tracts, it has precious littlo to Ipnrn
irom any of us.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: The clrl hn
begins life with tho name of Mary Jane
Will not oncounter so mnnv r.htnM.
In tho way ot becoming a good cook
as ono who happens to bo tagged Tcsslo
St Louis Globe-Democrat! KwHa in
alarmed at tho Russian menace. ttr
the Great onco had tho T Dium aung
because three. Russians had been ihln in
stand up against ono Swede. But thorn
aro now over twenty-fivo Russians to ono
Ptttsbunm Dlsnatch: Thn whiu m.nt.
producing animals have decreased In num
ber, In this country, they should inrriRHA
In total value; while horse's Increase in
number despite the growth of motor
vehicles, indicate tho economic purtles
that facts sometimes nrtnt. invimw
ratting meat-producing animals ought to
Philadelphia Ledeer: Tho n,ni,n
crown prince Is Jearnlnjj the tricks of his
traao, ror whenever u European monarch
wishes to increaso his DODUIarltv h hn
hlmaolf attacked by a man apparently In
sane. Ana men everybody shouih, "Xong
jjivo mo jvmtn inorcrown prince haa
touched the button and tho populace Is
now doing tho rest, .
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Th )inm
canal Is to bo fortified tor nrotectlon in
cose tho navy Is swept from the sea, and
now it is proposed to fortify Hawaii In
order to protect tho canal fortifications.
And In order to protect the Hawaiian
ui nMvHuiio-wnn.n ro 10 protect tliQ
canal fortifications-shall we be obliged
10 torcy Aiaska7
New York World: That the rriAni.nrn.
duclng animals In th United fitnt..
should during the last year havo do
creased In number though Increasing In
value, while the number of horses should
havo Increased despite the comoptlilon
of motor vehicles, presents a contrast
ot. racts sufficiently interesting to be
worth study as one of tho minor
doxes of economics.
Here and There
A clock which waa presented t North
western university In Kvanstun, 111.,
stopped recently alter thirty-four years'
constant running. After slight i?alrs it
was started and promises to run long
By the Introduction of automobiles,, the
French army officials have been enabled
to servo fresh meat to the soldiers In
stead ot tho canned meat which haa been
hitherto Issued to them In the form of
Not many yearn ago Russia was a
strong rival of tho United States In the
production of petroleum. Now iho Rus
sian emplro yields only about 6S per cent
as much cJl as California alone, and not
much more than Oklahoma.
In a new hotel In, Worcester, Mats.,
there will be a clock eet into the floor ot
the lobby. The dial will b of glass one
Inch thick and will be twenty-four Inches
In diameter. Tho clock will be run en
tirety by electricity and regulated dally
Buntal straw, which Is extracted from
the leaf-stem ot tho opened bun leaf,
comes chiefly from Tayabas province
and upper Lguna, Philippine Islands, A
peculiar feature Is that farmers who raise
theso palm tre frequently sell or rent
them to persons who extract tho fibres
for hatmaklnr purposes.
Tho claim ot Frank Williams or New
Orleans that he has tho oldest Masonic
apron In existence one 115 years old la
disputed by Blade Laselle of Caro. lllch,
Tho Caro apron belonged originally to
Major P. Blade of New York, who was
made a Mason In 1794 and remained one
for seventy-five, years. Since then tt has
btvu passed front father to son.
cJ 'Jnis fiees.
OMAHA, Jan. SO. To tho Bdltor of The
Be! Ton are right, & railroad that pays
out to its stockholders $128,000,000 In one
year Is overcharging Nebraska peoplo.
It tho government built a lino from New
York to Ban Francisco, 3,000 miles, at
II0.OM per mile, the total would bo 3120,
000.000, and at 4 per cent It would cost
the people less than 35,000,000. So It would
save the people $123.000,(X)0 this year. Let
us build. E. S. JOHNSON.
Mine Host Miller Protests.
OMAHA. Jan. 28 To thn Ksrrtitlvn
Board of the Commercial Club: I notice
that tho students, faculty and alumni of
the Crelghton college of law wilt give a
banquet at the Commercial cluh mnma.
februory 10. This Is ono ot many ban
quets that has been served nnd will h
served evidently In the Commercial club
dining room and by the sanction of tho
executive officers of said club.
It was decided onco upon a time that
no banquet would bo served at tho Com
mercial club rooms except whero a ma
jority in attendance belong to said club.
It ts not my idea, neither do I believe
it yours that the Commercial club was
ever Intended to come Into direct competi
tion with the hotels and restaurants of
I am In full sympathy and accord with
your noon-day luncheon and always havo
been. I bellovo tho Commercial club has
a right to glvo on Its own behalf any
function it may seo fit, but I am firmly
convinced that it Is all wrong to do
promiscuous catering, to the general
public in direct competition with men
who contribute to tho welfare of your
club, to tho upbuilding of Omaha, who
patronize home Industry and homo In
ttltullon and who are expected In season
and out of season to boost for Omaha.
The proposition la wrong and tends to
dlscourago rather than to aid homo
patronage, fidelity and loyalty that Is eo
deslrabla In tho upbuilding of n com
munity. Your truly, ROME MILLER.
"Thanks for tlif Lobster."
OMAHA, Jan. 29. To tho Editor of The
Bee: Congratulations and best of well
wishes to tho Beaver City Times-Tribune
and Tekamah Journal, for their splendid
words In re, "Order in Omaha."
Wouldn't it bo nice to frame such ar
ticles and havo those deeply Interested
read it, for their morning prayer.
Union Pacific Policy.
OMAHA, Jan. 30. To tho Editor of Tho
Bco: The article In this evening's paper,
of the editorial section, Union Paclflo
Retrenchment," is timely, and, interesting
to all employes of tho Union Pacific
shops, and to persons of Omaha, Who
arc dependent on these employes.
It might bo noted, that tho Union Pa
cific has one of the best equipped rail
rood shops In the country. That In the
past they have built steel cars, and also
engines in tho Omaha shops, and now
wo read In the newspapers that tho Union
Paclflo lays off hundreds ot men. On
the same page, wo read Union Paclflo
orders 8,000 freight cars from the east
It Is a fact that tho McKcen company
aro building cars In Omaha, .with sue
cess. Tho same might bo. said of the
Omaha Street Railway company, "and u
is certain that it pays said companies
or they wouldn't do It.
Now why can't tho Union Paclflo build
some ot thbse 6,000 cars and keep all of
their men at work In tho Omaha shops?
Bnylne County Supplies.
OMAHA, Jan. 30,-To the Editor of Tho
Bee: Appropos of an article, which
appeared In the Nows ot last evening, I
wish to suggest that on tho county bid
ding blanks for grocerios, while wo enu
merate certain classes of goods or their
equal, tor Instance Price's baking
powder or equal. This Is done for tho
express purpose of giving dealers an op
portunity of submitting prices on Royal
baking powder, Calumet or any other
good brand. This not only applies to
baking powder, but also applies to a
number ot other Items on tho bidding1
blank. When the contract Is awarded .It
will be explicit and complete In every
detail, enumerating distinctly the quality
and brands of the various items, and so
far as substitution Is concerned you can
say for mo that nothing of this kind will
bo permitted. What they havo been per
mitted to do tn recent years will have no
bearing whatever Upon the future, and
everyone bidding will bo given the same
consideration and will also be given to
understand that they must live up to the
letter of their contract. Mr. Rogers, tho
new superintendent, wilt see that the
goods delivered aro strictly in accordance
with the contract, and neither tho cook
or anyone else about tho building will be
permitted to make any other arrange
The article as It appeared In last even
ing's News Is misleading and unjust, and
Mr, Johnson, If he secures this contract,
will not bo ipng In ascertaining that sup
plies bought for the county hospital will
be dono on a business basis, or not
HENRY S. M'DONALP.
People and Events
Mrs. Virginia Bland, widow of Silver
Dlck Bland of Lebanon, Mo., a resident
of Ivywold, a fashionable suburb, has
been given a clerkship by President Wil
son In the office of Mark Skinner, in
ternal revenue collector at Denver.
Mrs. Finley J. Shepard, the Helen Gould
of other days, emphasized the first an
niversary of her marriage by supplying
the necessaries for a full-fledged 'cast
for 1,000 down-and-outers In New York
City, besides lodging for 400 of Jtho homo
less. Mrs. Agnes K. Mulligan, ono of the
first women lawyers of New York city,
Is really annoyed because a mean court
ordered her to pay back to an estate, of
which she Is administrator, the sum ot
17,000 which, she paid as lawyers' fee to
her husband. The worst of it is that Mul
ligan spent tho money,
Tho will of M)ss Mary P. Pemp!e, of
Pittsburgh, stipulates that tho Income
from halt of her estate, valued at I1C0,
000, be used to provide vacations for
women wbo work for their living or whu
are IU. Other funds she Jcft to foster
While Mr. and Mrs, Roy D. Lee ot
Pueblo, Colo., were In Denver on their
honeymoon last week they received
through the mall a wooden postcard two
feet long and moro than a foot wldo
decorated with Instruction to newly wed
THESE OIELS OF OURS. j
Youngwedd (arriving homo) Why, dear-1
est, you have been weeping. What is It,
Mrs. Youngwedd (mopping her eyes)
Onions, darling. Roston Tronscrlpt
''A womtn can excrclso a tremendous
Influence over a man."
"Yes," replied Miss Cayenne. "I have
observed that whn a woman Insists that
her husband Is no good, be generally fin
ishes by trying to vindicate her Judg
ment" Washington Star.
,Mobel Was Will at the house last
Mabel-Talk about anything?
.Elsie Uh-huh. About four hours.-St
"I wish the foolkirieV'tfduld "gbf around
hero some time!" ,
"I hope if he does Til have an advance
notice of it." , ...
"Think you'll be able to escape, eh?"
ftot that, I shall want to get some
moUmlng ready." Houston Post,
"There's one thing I will say for my
first two husbands."
"They always paid their alimony
promptly." Detroit Free Press.
"Sho has a complexion like tinted por
. I..knew she took, lessons In china
painting." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Darkun-Dnt or" man o' yolis Is a
vvn.y Kwti provider.
Aunut Chloe He shows. Ills sense Ho
Wants to keep me busy occupln' dls hero
skillet as a uteisll Instld ot a weaponA
"Shall we haVo a ougeitto marriage,
dear7" he asked.
"Well, for my part," sho replied, "I
don't think it Is necessary. I've been
operated on for appendicitis, I've been
treated with antitoxin, and I havo a vac
cination mark that is as big as a quar
"Miss Butt, how do people Ir your
house, ever know what time it is?"
"Why, Willie, dear, what a question!
By tho clocks, of course."
"But I heard ma tell pa the other
evening that your face would stop a
clock." Baltimore American.
"Do you expect this romantlo turn of
yours to bear any practical fruits?"
"I do. I have now a date with a peach,
who Is the apple of my eye, and with
whom I expect to make n pair when I
Eighteen Invalids Receive Pensions
MAGAZINE READERS CAN HELP
By saving a trifle on their MAGAZINE ORDER at tho low
est published prices, magazine readers' bah oarn $3,000 for THE
INVALIDS' PENSION ASSOCIATION. Your order or renewal
contributes 60c or more towards the support of EIGHTEEN IN
VALIDS, who have received their pension checks each month
since spring Five with neck or back broken, paralyzed like my
self. '4,600 subscriptions written, 1,500 yet to write.
fiAtia in n
THESmWUMY EVENING POST
For 1,D00 subscriptions to the abovo magazines by April
30th publishers will deposit $3j000 for tho benefit ot
THE INVALIDS' PENSION ASSOCIATION
We must have 31 Subscriptions by January 30th to
Earn the First $2,250 or Pensions Cannot be Paid This
Dear Friend: You at least
ALiKJii. i aupncaio aim printed otrer. , over 100,00 J people
in Iowa and Nebraska rend the abovo magazines. Thousands of
OTHER magazines expire. If YOUR ORDER will provldo for
the60 EIGHTEEN INVALIDS, surely you wijl not withhold It,
Wrlto for story and catalogue or use ANY price list, but bo suro
nnd mako all chockn payable and address all orders to GORDON
Tho Magazine Man, Omaha, Nob,
TUEO. N. VAIL, PR ESI BENT
00 wordu de
liver e duv- r
inf. tha day
at U times UVYJftoUJwtvnAS
tha coat of . k.
A 10-word. AAf 4- J ,
tftjlegr&n, V WAA$Aft AAMAXir
night at the
80ft Ot the)
mfJL AjtluJL ,
THE WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH COMPANY
PuH Information gladly 8j4vsn at any ottiea
T costs more
costing you customers, rep
utation, profits and the feeling
of security that only the maker
of an advertised line possesses. ;
have plekcd a few plums, unless she
hands me a lemon In tho meantime."
Qaltlraore Amorirnn. .
"What was tho most Intcrcstlnc thins
you saw while you were abroad?
"An American woman who wnsn t of
alt anxious to gnt a glln.pso ot royalty.
What's this?" asked the lawyer.
"It's tho pledge 1 signed on tho first
of the year." replied Mr. Bllgglns. "I'm
too conscientious to deliberately break
It, but I -wish you'd look It over And iee
If you can't find a flaw tn tt."-ChIcago
"Have you seen 'Fine Feathers?'"
"What do you meanT , . J
"It's a play. A drama that you see 'at
"I've been seeing flno feathers at the
theaters for years. I generally get be
hind one." Cincinnati Enquirer.
TO MEET OR OTHERWISE. .
Whether to sail and seo thee, girl ot my
Or whether to stay
And aeo thee notl How vast the differ
Of -Yea from Nay
Just nowl Yet this samo sun shall slant
At no far day.
On our two mounds, nnd then what will
the difference weigh?
Yet I will see thee, maiden dear, and
The most I can
Of what remains to us amid this brako
Cimmerian , .
Through which wo grope, and from whpso
horns wo ache.
While still we scan
Round our frail faltering progress for
some path or plan.
By briefest meeting something sure Is
It will have been: .....
Nor god nor demon can undo tho done:
Unslght the seen, t -
Mako muted muslo bo as unbegun,
Though things terrene
Groan in their bondage till oblivion1 su
pervene. So, to the one long-sweeping symphony
From times remote
Till now, of human tenderness, Bhall wo
Supply ono note. -Small
and untraced; yet that will ever bo
Amid the spheres, as part of sick Lues
understand that all prices' an?" "I
PQg ft! a.
abroad in 24
page, at an
not to, than to ad
Right now it is
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