Nebraska Newspapers

    -TIT"" -" 1TfcI5f5H' ,
THE BliE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, JAXTAltY 16, 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY KDWAHU UOSKWATEU.
VICTOR KOSEWATKn. ISP1TOK.
ana building. tAiuvAM au htu.
Entered at Omaha poatotrico as seconJ-
elasa matter.
J-Jklo o '. - Irt
mmday Bee, ono year i m
Saturday Bee, one year ... J-?!
Daily Bee, without Hunday, ona jcar.. .w
Daily ue, ana oununjr. mm j
,i.-urn HV I'AnlLlEll.
Kvenlns and Sunday Bee. per mo h...c
Kvenln. without Sunday, per
Dally Bee, Including 8unday. per mo-"6
Dally Bee, without Sunday, per -J11"!;
Addiesa all complaint, of IrreKUlrltlc
In oel! erics to City emulation UepL
llt-MITTANCE.
Ren it by draft, express or postal oraer,
payable to The Bco 1'ubllshlnK company.
Only 2-cent stamps rcce.vcd in payment
of mall accounts. Personal checks, ex
cept on Omaha and eastern exchanges,
not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee BuiMtng
South Omaha-2118 N Strict
Council Bluffs II North Main Street.
L.incoln-26 Little BulltiinE.
ChlcaRo-OOl Hearst Uulidln.
New York-noom HOC, M Fifth Avenue.
6t Louls-ioa New Bank of Commerce.
Washington-? Fourteenth tit., N. w.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news and
rdltorlal matter should be addressed
Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
DECEMBER CIRCULATION.
52,148
(State of Nebraska, County uf Douglas, ss.:
Dwight Willi-ms, circulation manager
of The Be Publishing company, being
duly sworn, aays that the average dally
circulation for the month of December,
1913, wax J2.HS.
DWIQHT WILUAMB.
Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this 3d day of January, 1911.
ROBERT HUNTER.
(Sea!) Notary Public
Subscriber- leaving tbo city
temporarily should bare The lice
nailed to them. Addrrae will be
changed aa often m reuocsled.
Eugenics may be all right whon re
duced to a common sonse, workablo
basis.
It seems that Omaha has a few In
terlocking directorates In its own big
corporations.
If a church Is an assot to the com
tnunlty, an empty pow Is a liability
to every church.
Wireless The Life Saver.
Wlreloss tolcgrahy has never
scored a moro thrilling and dramatic
triumph than that of the rescue of
passengers and crew of tbo Cobequld
just as the vessel was about to be
dashed to pieces against Trinity
Itock. It took time for the nearest
ship to respond to tho "8. O, 8" but
it got thcro in the last moment and
saved the day.
It peems that almost ovory notablu
loss of Hfo averted at sea slnco the
advent of tho wireless lias been either
In wholo or in part through Its Instru
mentality. Which makes tis wonder
what wo would do without this mirac
ulous Invention and what we did be
foro wo had It. How did wo over get
along without it?
The lesson Is this and It has been
grimly impressed wo havo not done
enough toward perfecting tho uso ot
Marconi's wonderful discovery. Surely
his conquest of tho forces ought to
Inspire tho last effort at complete
mastery in directing tho harnessed
powers. Thoro should bo no reason
why, with our knowledge and skill In
ship-building and operation, tho
hazard of ocean travel should not bo
reduced to merest minimum.
opkin J)ackwarj
ThisPay in Omaha
- I I
.TAXVAnr 10.
Thirty Years Ago iu
From Lincoln cornea word that the
state fair is located at Omaha for an
other year, after which the question of
a five-year location will be decided.
Over MO men are working on the river
cutting and housing the annual harvest
of Ice.
Cards have been received announcing
tho wedding ot Mr. James E, Rellly of
Omaha nnd Miss Kathcrlno E. Whitney
at Plattsburg, N. 1.
J. B. Southard has been appointed dep.
uty county clerk and took a trip to Chi
cago before tackling the duties ot tho
office.
Tho Omaha National bank has Just
completed in tho basement of Its build
ing a magnificent now vault, which is
fire, burglar, water and alrproof. The
work was done under the special super
vision of W. B. Avery ot Chicago,
Tho first annual ball of tho boiler
makers and helpers of Omaha wns given
at Moflonlc hall. Tho committee ot ar
rangements was made up of John Bro
phy, James Rhodes, John Quick, And
rew Frlck, John Dccring nnd William
Cullcn and tho floor managers were
James Clair, James Fagan, John Mc
Donald, Richard Trenton, Hugh Ken
nedy, Nicholas Frcnzcr.
The call for the meeting ot the Wom-
reference from Senator Hitchcock's L.Bned by Mrs. u a. Charlton, secretary.
Mr. and Mrs. Max Meyer eclobrated
their wooden wedding last evening with
Aimed at Omaha
Tit for Tat.
Collier's Weekly reproduces this
This 1b still a day of miracles, It
!oemi; a French duelist was actually
njured at combat.
How the mighty havo fallen! Hero
is old Bob Fltzslmmons compelled to
CO to the court to provo his ability to
fight.
nowspapor
For tho benefit of oor renders wo re
print clsowhero tho comments of Col- a company of their friends,
iicrs weekly. Ita viows nro those of a
great Independent channel of proved 'rnnv Von-a Arro
iiroKrcssivoncss, aim absolute freedom Tho Board of Trade rooms were
irom sinister influences. thronged with Douitlas county farmers
Anu from tho same Issuo of Col- and Omaha business men called to per
Her s wo reprint tho following: feet plans for the btct sugar fuctory to
For tho perfecting changes that were bo financed largely by Polish capital,
mado (In tho currency bill) thanks aro represented hero by Count I.ublcnskl. Dr,
due to tho men who had the courage tn 8. D. Mercer was elected chairman and
Insist upon nniondmcnts-such men na T. J. O'Donohue secretary. E. A. Ben
Senator Hitchcock of Nebraska and Hen- on, chairman of a previously appointed
ntor O'Clorman of New York, citizens' committee, nnd Dr. Mercer of
Upon this showing any impartial th heet growers' committee, made re
Judgo will hand down an opinion porl8 favrnbI he promotion. Artl
that honors nro easy. of "corporallon were adopted and
1,.W VI I n J . D 111. FCf,l.U ,U kilt V. 1. 1 k tl I u
. I- - . . - . 1 I . I I
-Tire Risks at School. to secure at least 4,(K acres. The count
Stutlstlcs published by the Saca said he would bo back In Omaha -anu
Foundation show tho destruction by ttry 55 10 "elect a site for the factory
fire of ton school buildings every Pr",ldent 8- Clark of the Union
week in tho year, a total of 520. " c ' ' Z". ' . IT. !
Every parent should Stop and real- In Colorado an a means of restoring hl
1 - -
izo wnat that means. It brings tho condition
matter of flro hazard closer homo David II. Dowman, for twenty years a
than oven tho burnlnc of tho rftsl. rc"ldent of Omaha, died at his home. B02
iIohxa w.olf -n,ii.i- k. ?omn ronicin aireei, leaving a wire,
" ' r""u""' tt ,"ul"1 He was for years engaged In the hard
Beatrice Express; The protest ot the
ministers and more conservative people
of Omaha against the tango seems to
have Inspired tho dancers to go tho limit
In tho danco. Not content with being
able to go through Its mazes and steps
at the charity ball, they carried It to the
restaurants and gave the public a vision
of the real thing. As Is usually the case.
thero are some peoplo who aro not satis
fied with a temporary use of whatever
falls Into their hands. They Intend get
ting out of a thing all thero Is In It, re
gardless of the consequences.
Grand Island Indeptndent: Omaha's
charity ball cleared S3,0OO for the cause.
What will the next squabble lit' Omaha
bo about?
Oakland Independent: The Blair En
terprise comes out with tho suggestion
that Washington county be detached
from Douglas county on Judlclnl lines.
This idea will find hearty support In
Burt county, and it should bo pushed at
the next scsnton of tho leglslaturo In a
r.ew apportionment bill. As It now Is
Omaha Is about tho whole cheese In this
Judicial district.
Ncllgh Leader: Thomas McOovern, one
tho city commissioners of Omaha,
as Introduced an ordinance prohibiting
moklng In public places. Thomas evi
dently has an Idea woman suffrogo will
bo In voguo by the time he runs for
office tho next time
Atkinson Graphic: If Omaha falls to
land one ot those regional banks It will
bo surmised that tho reactionary course
of It progressive democratic senator
durlns the pendency of the bill had some'
thing to do with It
Nebraska City Press: Of course you
wouldn't call It hypocrisy tho word
tango"doesnt appear on tho programs
t the charity ball In Omaha, tho big
anc the proceeds from which go to
the City mission. The highbrows raised
fuss because the so-called new dances
were Included In tho "menu" so the folks
In charge changed the name and tho
preachers were satisfied. Had the pro
ceeds of this annual affair been offered
to a church, or to Billy Sunday for In
stance, would the money have been In
dlgnantly spurned? We Inquire to know,
s Hashlmuro Togo says
Twice Told Tales
The low tide In tho rivor put out
the electric lights, but what do wo
want with electric lights with such a
froon as we have now7
From tho way in which tho uamo
Villa eclipses those ot Carranza and
Zapata, ono almost scomB to sco an
ctaer Mexican revolution coming.
Russia and China have a sharp game
of diplomacy to play for tho control ot
Mongolia. Springfield Republican.
If diplomacy woro Russia's only
hope, wo would ho laying our money
on China.
"Tho prosldout spent several hours
reading his forthcoming mossage," in
conference with mombors ot congress,
says a dispatch. Then the forthcom
lng message, we assume, is not to bo
a littlo ten-minute affair.
In his personal explanation tho
chief Justice says that two ot Ma
three dlssontlng associates "whllo
protesting against my vote, did it In
a gentlemanly and porfoctly friendly
way." Now, what can ho mean?
Tho Owen-aiass currency bill In It-
fundamental features Is eisontlally the
same as the Aid rich bill. Collier's
Weekly.
AU right! Just so this great dem
ocratlc measuro docs not sail under
false colors.
It Is gratifying to know that work
has begun' on a viaduct bridging tho
railroad tracks over Lower Nicholas
street. Now, when half a dozen
other dangerous intersections are
similarly protected, It will bo oven
moro gratifying.
Tho recent great musical .event at
the Auditorium is estimated to liavj
drawn from 1,500 to 2,000 ouA-of-town
people to Omaha. Do music
lovers want tho Auditorium dlsposod
of to private parties and converted
to business uses?
Hartlngton Herald: Tho union barbers
t Omaha are asking the city to pass a
Sunday closing ordinance and threaten to
throw their strongth and Influence with
tho antl-saloon league and assist In en
forcing tho 8 o'clock law, and thus de
prlvo tho city dads of their booze out-
Ide of legat hours, unless their demand
complied with. Wo wonder It the
bluff will work.
bettor chance of escape from a burn
ing resldenco than a contested
school, whero in addition to tho vol-
ware business.
II. J, Wells passed away at his resi
dence, 1BC8 North Twenty-seventh street,
umo, all nro excited and ant to stnm. ,n th9 evening.
nniln. Ttn iinr in n- A,tu Jo Knton, drug clerk, residing at 3014
jl mm r a, . I Ames avenue, had a foot badly crushed
says. But prevention, moro than by a motor 'cflr nt M-teenth Ld Ca.
rcuiouy, is mo piaco tor wie ompnasis. fornla streets, from which he stepped
Tho tendency toward construction only to trip and fall with his foot on the
of fireproof buildings must bo rigidly M11,
adherod to. No school should bo
Ten ears Ako
1U, v ..uuuil.b UL UIIIUIBU Mr. ,.,- ... ....
except on tho most highly-approved and brpki her 'arm while visiting
inuucrn piuns, ana paronts snouia SCO net .daughter. Mrs. JCarlyle ot South
that this is dono. Happily, wo In Omaha. Mrs. Kirk was the mother of
Omaha havo como to realize tho lm- J"er Klrk nt the city. prison.
portonco of this, but desplto our , iacnt ,a' w '" ot the Omaha
..... urain exchange announced that it
many excellent new buildings, wo aro wmlld becln actlvc tk l
Btill making uso of some old struc without fail; that It had all preliminaries
ttirea in which tho hazard Is too disposed of and things in good shape for
groat.- Horo is ono channel into bulnMs.
which monoy muBt bo Judiciously A "w noosvclt club was formed by
poured until tho demands aro mot IT !bl!cn"v m"c"nf at th pxton hoM
. .u . . . , , t w ith .. . Jefferls president and John
anu wo taxpayers must not object. N, Westberg secrcta
bank presented resolutions which wr.
Favor-Seekers Take Notice. adopted, pledging the ciub sunDort t
LlldlcroUH nnd Inilnrnnnllitn nn t. I "ooaevcii tor president and John T.
may Boom, the personal pull of Sec- ..""fl v'co """lent.
rotary Bryan that forces Omaha to go 0 Z ZlnvJJ'
to Lincoln to present Its clalniB for a a banquet at the Omaha club. General
regional Dann muBt command our -"nr,"B .ianaerson acted as toast
admiration. Aa nn nritmnln of Mr. master and tho toasters wn Tni,- v
Bryan's paramount power in evorj-- p"'" ,'?' Ke""a' ,C0UnseI of e Union
,t-,.. .... ..j...... 1 nci. O. Wattles and nimri. t
. U 1
thing that affects the ndmlnlstra
tlon's activities in Nebraska, it !s
striking and conclusive. To milt Mr.
Bryan his cabinet colleagues, aftor
coming within fifty-five miles of us,
stop eliort and Invite Omaha to como
to them. No pretonse is mado that
this Is to save them time or trouble,
Greene.
People and Events
or even to suit their convenience, but traveled through three states 1
It is merely to exemplify and rein- "r?.!"'0",!0 a'ry,. !
The czar of Hugela has again
shown his good faith by conferring
great honors dppn the chief legal per
secutor miscalled tho prosecutor-
of the young Jew, Mendel Belless
which ought to help HuBsia greatly In
the eyes of the civilized world.
Is
The consolidation ot the state food
and oil Inspection departments Is said
to be successful both in efficiency and
money-saving. Several other stato
commissions or bureaus could be con-
bolldated or subordinated with equal
advantage to tho public and tho taxpayers.
The case of tho Missouri man sum.
moned on a Jury to try the murderer
of bis sister might, it he stuck, almost
match the one in which certain con
tlngent fee Omaha lawyers recently
bmuggled one of their clients into the
Jury box for the special benefit of an
other client
Here's a quotation from our metro
polltan water district law:
It being the Intent and purpose of this
net not only to remove said board of
directors, but likewise tho employes of
said water district, from the Influento
df partisan politics.
But say, what's tho constitution be
tween friends?
The Missouri young woman who re
seek
Jnpa
iiese. nun tn vnr m,i a.,, it .
wo oycwui M,..,cftu uujujou uj says mat's the aniwer.
thn crnnl coninionnr. ltmt Mr. Ilrvnn I a . ...
, - " ... " n nearness scrioo hankering for
napponon to uvo at wonoo or ioago tragedy nt any cost to others, suggesti
Polo, presumably that is whero tho "Ri "ryan and Bartholdt settle the rri
regional bank hearing would be held. ,ntlve n,c1"o merits of grape juice and
if held in Nebraska at all. Let Job- J"1" drinkl" ff' cf ?h ! take
, .4 . , , . , ., nl8 vrlte beverage. Evident y the
hunters and favor-seekers take notice callous mock takes no account of the
anu govern tnemseivos accordingly, mgii cost of dying,
The Tnmlnn Tim... f-. .1.,.
. 11 H,g stum uiid PItiU
Tho litigation ovor tho dollar gas of the globe to tho other with sneciai
ordinance is nt last to bo nrosocuted editions, nussla was exploited In
It, ftiu wn- 'TliA Ttnn silf-l-rtatnil nf tha
special number last November. The Pa
outset namolv to nroannt flra th Cltl C0Rst of North Amerlc- received an
outsot, namol), to Present first the eiaborntn write.up ln lhc llJUIon of
iuw MUL-ouun Hum iu iiiu iiuwur 01 December 31. Particular attention
the city to make any change in tho given to probable developments tn con
rate BChodulo or tho contract, leaving se,iuo"co of opening of the Panama
the matter of reasonableness open. Family pride sustained by heraldry gets
if m. iiv ioi ...ihiir severe jou from F. Stewart Chanln
r 0 I Ph. TV nrnfAiint (n baa UUn i ... i.
change the rate nt nil. an expensive Ui.egr.' i '1
inquiry into mo cost 01 production professor Chopin figures It out that any
would bo unnecessary; whereas if the man who shins up Ms family tree for
cltvwlnson the nolnt of law. the rate twenty generations, finds that he Is re
reduction can then be much more "f" 10 nm"y. e,cron',( nnd
I lr nis trr nat fop n rtn htin.lriu mmp
m I"" " M"'"'
easily rorccu, atlons. he is sure to find himself kin
, ( tnB vholo of humanity
TJiose wno 'favor an nnoquaic ots- Miss M. Kdlth Durham, who was the
position of the garbage question will famous war correspondent durjnc both
give very serious attention to Com- of 11,6 Balkan wars, has written her
IJvrtor'a nrnrwi..! o vn "-y, wiucn inis or as unusual expe-
I rlfktirAM n Sinn umi1it nvnat n vrstr-n r In
Bonus tor an intirryrnuon innuv. ai h,V6 , ,uch unUiual oecmallon.
any rate, if this is not the best She has been doing good work for the
method, lot someone tell us what is. Macedonian relief fund. In some of the
For twenty years the garbage prob-'Ld';,It8 homes the omen ohop grass
lem has remained a stench ln tho ,'- , ,
..t..l ..n..l1. I 11 n1..,l 1 1
before the present contract with tho coait dti,,, for reallxlng on that great
city expires, July 1, of this year. I national asset. Ran Francisco's expoil
tlon tn honor ot the ranal completion 1:
The budget for Douglas county fordMCrlbtl an1 Pictured In a fitting man
10.11 -aiu fnr tntnl of fsao onn a ner. rno inunaerera special num
.n- conior-iiou loiicciuiK anu tBm lH ie important particular of rrlv
disbursing that much money would tng nn international tone to the choen
never do business on a financial Jsutijset. not overlooking, however, the
basis. comnelllnE its creditors to wall historical Industrial and rnmmerclal d
f.. . ..- "iii "-" er-u. rno
..wm. ,... .v wcrr ,,rft,ent special number Is a fine ex
money. lamule of International trade boostlnc
Editorial Viewpoint
Indianapolis News. After the heavy
Chautauqua losses suffered by members
of congress last summer, It seems prob
able that they wilt manage better this
year.
Washington Post: Tho promised strug
gle between Vlo Murdock and Joe Brlstow
ought to furnish Bill Allen White with
bully material for a sequel to his famous
"What's tho matter with Kansas?"
St. I.ouls Globe-Democrat: Tho young
women who havo organized n club at
Dodge City placing the social ban on the
young men that smoke or drink will prob-
bly be Indulgent to penitents who prom
Ise to reform.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Why doesn't
Vlo Huerta, a soldier by profession, go
to soldiering? It he Is halt as fierce as
he looks he must bo a real tartar. At
any rate he couldn't do worse than his
generals have been doing.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: "Joe" Chamber
lain Is to retire from Parliament after
thirty-seven years, the last eight Inca
pacltated for service by 111 health. Once
tho storm center ot British politics, he
has been forced to end his days In Idle
ness, an object of sympathy from even
his bitterest foes of years ago.
New York World: People In this coun
try who remember the old wildcat nnd
red-dog notes ot state banks will read
with pleasure tho dispatches from tho
City of Mexico atatlng that the dictator
has made all such Issues In that country
legal tender. The end Is not far away.
evidently.
Philadelphia Leader: General Andrew
Jackson, for whom a S1,00O,0O) monument
Is proponed, Is described ln the dispatches
as the hero of the battle ot New Orleans
and the seventh president of the United
States. For further identification, It may
be' added that he was the man who wns
called "Old Hickory," and who exclaimed,
"By the Kternal!" when anything hap
pencil out ot the ordinary, like the null!
flcatlon proceedings in South Carolina.
Quaint Bits of Life
Talked to Death.
"Alfalfa Bill" Murray, representative
from Oklahoma, made a tour of Wash
ington a short time ago with & party ot
friends. In due time they reached the
Washington monument, and the Okla
homa statesman told at length ot the
beauties of the shaft.
At the close of his peroration, "Alfalfa
Bill" mopped his brow and turned
genially to a minion of the law nearby,
"How about It," asked he, "Isn't that
tome little talk on this ancient pit of
masonry?"
"You forgot about the cat," replied that
official, Imperturbably.
"What cat?"
"The brindled cat ot 1S86."
"Well, what about him?" queried rep
resentative Murray.
"Oh, nothing," replied the guard, eva-
Ively.
"See here," said Mr. Murray, sternly,
I demand to know about this cat."
"It ain't much of a story," replied the
guard. "Your talking there reminded me
of it. Y'seo this here cat lived In the
monument. Well, sir, me and another
chap that used to be hero noticed that
cat acting qucerly every time a party
came along and was told about the beau
ties of "this vast pile of masonry,' as you
were saying.
'Then ono day along came a gent with
some friends and talked for three-quar
ters of an hour along this line, when
blamed if that there cat didn't run all
the way up 500 feet of steps and 'com
mit suicide by Jumping oft the top or tho
monument." Washington Post
IIU neat neloTcd.
They had been quarreling and al
though hubby was willing to take all
the blame upon himself and smooth mat
ters over peacefully, she was still snappy
and Indifferent,
"Come here. Mabel. Aren't you curi
ous to know what Is In this package?"
"Oh, not very. I can stand the strain,"
she replied belllgorently.
"Well. It's something for. the one I love
best In all the world," he said, cdaxlngly,
trying to win a smile.
Oh, Is that so?" she sniffed. "I sup
pose, tnen, it's tnose auspenaers you
said you needed," New York Globe.
Help!
Mrs. Black woke her husband one
r.lht and whispered: "Lnrry. there's a
burglar ln the parlor. He Just bumped
against the piano and struck several
keys."
Is that so?" said Larry. "1 11 go
right down there."
"Oh. Larry." whispered the excited
wife, "don't do anything rash."
"Rash!" replied the husband. "Why,
I'm going to help him. Tou don't sup
pose he can move that piano from tho
house without assistance, do you?
Youngstown Telegram.
GRINS AND QR0ANS.
"Jimmy seems to like himself pretty
well, doesn't he?" ....
"Yes, I fancy that he thinks his father
and mother ought to get down on their
knees every night and thank heaven for
having permitted them to become his
parents." Chicago rtecord-Hcrald.
"What became of that play you wrote
five years ago?"
'The managers decided It was too
daring to produce."
"Send it on again."
"I did. They say It's too tame now."
Pittsburgh Tost.
Mrs. Fox Great news. John. Our son
Is engaged to Miss Golder.
Kox-Whatl Then I shall object to the
marriage. . .
Mrs. Tox-Object! Are you out of your
senses?
Fox-Not at all: but If we don't kick
a little the Golders will think we don t
amount to much, and they'll probably call
It off. Boston Transcript.
"It Is a wonder to us how women can
expect to get damages in breach of prom
Iso suits."
"Whv not?"
"Because thev always prove the man
In the case to be so mean as to. como
high at 30 cents." Boston Transcript.
"t havn irlrd to make a fashionable
gentleman of you," said the reproachful
lather.
I know It," replied the remorseful
young man. "But the smell 01 a enrys-
anthemtim disagrees with me, I look
runny In a s IK hat and 1 always gei a
cane twisted up between my ankles. If
It's nit the same to you, I'd rather go
to work. Indianapolis News.
A
Bill Do you get good board where you
eat now?
Tom Good board? Why, I eat off the
arm of a chair every mcai. uosion
Transcript.
'I am aulte fascinated by your friend
whom you Introduced to me. Ho has
porrccuy Killing ways."
"I-or heaven's sane, don t let mm Know
you think so!"
"Why not7"
"He's a doctor!" Baltimore American.
Westerner (on board steamer bound
for America) It's going to be pretty
fine to get back again. Didn't you get
awfully homesick ln Europe among so
many strange faces and languages?
Easterner None, not at all; felt rtgnt
at home.
Westerner Why, how could you?
Uantcrner Dead easy. You see. I live
in New York New York Times.
"80 you are opposed to grand opera at
popular prices?"
"Yes; next tney 11 bo Having terrapin
State Press Comment
at popular prlrts and orchids at bar-.-
-.. ij ih.n what Intcictt will
a rich man have in life?' -Kansas City
Journal.
Professor Why do college men mis
spell so often?"
Stude Probably becaUBO thoy pa more
.it.ntinn tn the miss than they do to
the spcll.-Otilo Sundial.
"non't voti like, the necktie I give
you?" sho asked -.-,.
"Yes. ne answereu. " . --".-
beautiful necktie. I feel ,l"fh .when
I think of wearing It. I wish you d ad l
I couple more to, U and make yourself
a nice new dress." Washington Star.
"How long must I wait for the rre-
'C"Abountr'thlrty minutes." answered the
druggist: "but you can occupy your
time pleasantly. Here Is a coupon which
entitles Tou to admission to our moving
picture show."-PUtf.bursli I'ost.
Gladys Jack Is horrid! When we
were out tonight, a little bug flow right
into my mouth, and I asked htm of
what that was a sign.
Clytle-What did he say It meant?
Oladys-That I should keep my moilth
shut Judge.
THE JANITOR'S SONG.
Detroit Free Press.
The Janitor was whistling as he slowly
pushed his broom.
And now and then he danced a Jig to
llvnn tm tn room.
And then he sang a merry song I d never
heard before:
"It's thirty dollars every week for sweep
ing up the floor "
"It's thirty dollars every week, for tidy
ing tho place.
The kids have patent leather shoes, the
wife Is wearing lace:
I go to work at S o'clock, and I am
through by 4,
It's thirty dollars every week for sweep
ing up tho floor.
"It's chicken plo for dinner, and it's
angel food for cake.
The only thing that troubles me Is dodg
ing stomnch achci
And that's my automobile that Is stand
ing at the door.
It's thirty dollars every week for sweep
ing up the floor.
"The chap that washes windows draws
his little thirty, too.
I think I ought to have a raise, for all
the work I do.
If he gets that for what he does, It's cer
tainly worth more
Than thirty dollars every week for sweep
ing up the floor."
Mrs. Mar' Kallawak of Chicago last
year mado a score of eighty-five at court,
sixty times as complaining witness and
twenty-five times under arrest.
Francis M. Purdum, aged 64. of St.
Louis, convinced that man la never too
old to learn, Is member of the night
manual training class of the McKlnlcy
High school.
A man standing seven feet one inch
was recently married to a woman one
Inch under ftvo feet ln Kaunas City.
Both declared that It had been a real
case ot love at first sight.
Louis Pclrano has been bowling for
twenty years In an attempt to roll a 300
score. The nearest that he has come to
It so far Is 2S9, but he Insists that he will
keep at it until he succeeds.
For sixteen years James Cnnkltn, an
elevator starter, has labored paying oft
debts he contracted when he was sowing
his wild oats and the other day he fin
ished the task that his conscience had
set him.
For the first time ln fifty-nine years a
woman has been elected president of the
New Jersey Teachers' association. Miss
Elizabeth Allen, the founder of teacher'
pensions, has been so honored. Ohio
teachers had a woman president last
year, but this year went back to the
man rule.
Herbert Wolaternholme, one of the old
est miners ot California, who, as Her
bert Holmes, has spent the last five
decades tn a lonely cabin In the Feather
river canyon and has managed to eke
out only a hand-to-mouth existence, is
awaited by a life of luxury and plenty
In hi old home, Bury, Hngland, accord
ing to news that he has received.
Beatrice Express: Kvldently a great
many resolutions went glimmering when
the tempter approached, aa the superin
tendent of the asylum states that the last
week has witnessed more applications
for the dip ward .than In six months pre
vlous.
Falrbury News! ' A Connecticut doctor
proposes to restore a broken back by
taking a bone six Inches long from the
patient's leg and grafting It onto the (
spine. If It proves successful tho opera-1
tlon should be tried on several Nebraska
politicians.
Friond Telegraph: The supreme court
has decided that young women attend
ing high school do not have to take les
sons In domestic science. Of course we
are to understand that a study ot the
present fashions with a close observance
of the moving picture shows is sufficient
to fit most nny young woman to preside
hver a household and run & husband.
We heard a lecturer on one occasion as
sert that most of the drunken husbands
were due to "doe-dads" In the kitchen.
Wayne Herald: The editor of the Pen
der Republic explains that neglect ot his
newspaper la due to a burden of duties
ln connection with tho postofflce which
ho also runs. That Is the objection to a
publisher annexing a postofflce. He
must neglect one or the other, and he
cannot safely neglect the postofflce. As
a consequence his newspaper loses
strength, and realising the condition he
Is liable to sell It and have nothing to
return to when his term In the govern
ment employ expires. Newspaper men
who have been defeated In aspirations
for postofflce' appointments should con
gratulate themselves over their good for
tune. Blair Tribune: A tango party was
pulled off In Blair one evening last week
that had anything of the kind ever given
In the city backed clear of the boards
and gasping for breath. We were not
"among those present," but from obser
vation "across tho way" we are prepared
to say that to describe tills new craze
In the latest, up-to-dato dances It re
quires a real nice word that will describe
something naughty. It may be all right,
but If we had a daughter that would
persist In tangoing with a giddy young
fop of the he-fllrt class we would turn
her over our knee face down and ad
minister tho hair brush where It woull
do the most good.
Tabloids of Science
A new pocket electric lamp has a tiny
dynamo operated by a spilng lever In
stead of the dry battery.
Astronomers contend that their Is an
other system beyond Neptune, which Is
the most distant of all the planets In our
system.
Kxperts have estimated that if the for
ests ot the world were scientifically oper
ated they would yield the equivalent ot
from thirty to 1 times the present con
sumption of wood annually.
A cork sunk 300 feet deep In the ocean
will not rise again to the surface, owing
to the great pressure ot the water. At
any less distance, however. It will grad
ually work Its way back to light.
Having proved that electric radiation
benefits growing plants. German sci
entists are experimenting with an elec
trified schoolroom, which 1 said to ac
celerate the physical growth and stimu
late the mental processes ot the pupils
therein.
Investigation of the fact that most ot
the deep drill holes for wells ln South
Africa deviate from the perpendicular,
generally toward the north, has led to
the conclusion that the drills with which
thoy were made' were Influenced by
magnetism.
What Toilers Need
Hard working men need nutritious food
it should also be appetiiintf. One
thine the housewife should remember
is that, by actual test.
SPAGHETTI
contains far more nutrition than meat.
Faust Srjatfhetti makes a substantial and
savory meal. You can make a whole
family dinner from a ten-ceni pacKage.
Write for recipe book. it s tree.
5c and 10c packages.
Buy today.
MAULL BROS.
St. Louii, Mo.
Florida, New Orleans, Cuba,
Panama, Gulf Coast Resorts
"7 '
Jfeb
AG principal ratorts la tha south reached by quick and con
venient schedules of tha LoBbrille cV Nashville Railroad. Solid
through trains or sleeptKg cars from Chicago or St. LoaU.
Unturpaitad a la carta dining car service. Round trip tourist
tickets, return limit June 1st, oa sale daily at reduced fares.
Greater variety routes than any other line; diverse routes to
Florida if desired. Horaeiee Iters' tickets on sale First and
Third Tuesday each month at very low rates.
Very Aitraclrre Water Tears to Panaxa, Csba ui Jamaica.
The Most Attractive Way South
Route of the raffnlficent Dixio Limited, Dixie Flyer and South
Atlantic Limited Trains.
For full particulars, rates, tickets, descriptive illus
trated booklets and sleeping car reservations, address
lira
P. W. MORROW, N. W. P. A.
332 Marqittts Bl.( CUcsie, 111.
R. C. WALLIS, D. P. A.
312 furta 8t St. St. UiU, M.
-. -.
"Our passengers are our guests"
EVERY man on every train of ours keeps
that thought in mind. We want you to
enjoy the Baltimore & Ohio. We do all
we can to give you comfort; Nature has pro
vided scenic attractions which give you miles
and miles of interest.
Select the Baltimore &
Ohio to Washington
and New York
Whether your trip is one of
business or pleasure, see that
your ticket reads via Baltimora
ft Ohio from Chicago cast. Lib
eral stopoyers permit you to
make it a vacation in itself, if
you prefer. Write us for inter
esting booklets covering the
historical spots of the route.
Choose one of these splendid trains
N. 8-Th. Int.r-SUL 3p.cIl-Lte Chleso 11 a. m. Dr.wtni
room snd corcptrtment sltcplng cars and ebtarvstlon (lupin- ca ,
No. -Nw York Umlt.J Leave Chicago JJ p, m. Drawtn
room slecplns ears and ob.trvatlon parlor ear. win
Thaaa ptrfrcUr appoints, tralna aro al.ctrlcally oqulppd,eompUta
'.nr m0Un 5m ..Si-
Other hl.h-claat through tralna Lav Chlcaso at S a.m. and B3J p.m.
Harri.ontrt. rrm B,ltlmor 0ho Station. Fifth Ar.nu.ani
Tlek.t Offlc.u H. C. STXOHM, Trvlln- ?aucr Aiaat.
BU Wdroaa of tho World Bid I , Omaha. Nab.
Baltimore & Ohio