Nebraska Newspapers

    THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 1912.
The Omaha" daily bee
FOUNDED BY EDWARD. ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR. . ...
BETE BUILDING. FARNAM AND 17TH.
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Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
JULY CIRCULATION.
51,109
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss.
Dwlght Williams, circulation managed
of The Bee Publishing company, being
duly sworn, says that the average dally
circulation for the month of July, 112,
was 61.109. DWIOHT WILLIAMS.
I Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn
to before me this Sd day of August, 1912.
. (Seal.) ROBERT HUNTER,
! " Notary Public
" Brfbscribers leaving the . city
i temporarily aboutd have, The
Bee mailed to them. Address
I will be) chanced aa of te as re-
f quested. '
i
: Thee old settlers' picnics are great
rejuvenators;
I At last accounts King Corn was
doing tolerably well.
Whle abolishing the veto power,
why not also abolish the pardoning
power? ' '..
The new Chinese republic knows
that the United States Is the place
to come for expert advisers.
. The old guard In the printers' na
tional convention seem have run the
ink. roller over the Insurgent chaps.
Governor Wilson's tariff speech at
Gloucester, surely ought to be bour
bon enough for even Colonel Wat
terson.' ..
: If somebody would haul a few
' chairs - dawn , to . Armageddon ' he
; might gather' a few coins renting out
'seats;. .
"Britain Abandons Protest.", Oh,
Joy,, good Johnny. Bull Is going to
let , Uncle Sammle use his canal
' after all. " ; -:- 1 ;i 1
" Every conventloner who comes to
Omaha goes away a friend, because
Omaha understands the art of being
the convention host. v.
East St.-Louis has adopted the ex
periment of trying white offenders
before negro Juries. Been having too
many,' acquittals, jao doubt.' '
Democrats in the house may have
pujled.lhe wool bill over the presi
dent's veto, but they nave pulled no
wool over the peoples' eyes.
; Governor Johnson of California, bis
friends say, wlll'dellver 59.600 "red"
votes In Los Angeles. , Those third
termers Just insist on ,a color line. '
Eugene.' V.- Debs comparative' sil
ence doubtless means that tje is put
to it to think of something to say
since that "confession of faith" came
out.
f ; The real trouble with the piece of
(ground adjoining the Deaf an4 Dumb
! institute, for. purchase of which the
legislative appropriation has been al
lowed to lapse, must be that it, Is not
located In Lincoln. '
Governor Wilson and other, demo
crats may. now. wish tq know, what it
was Mr. Hearst had in ,m,ifc4 to, say
when, upon t the close of the Balti
more convention,.- he announced he
would support nominees , and plat
form..
.r.
- ' Seeing It was a. police raid It gets
only meager mention; under unob
truslve hsaaiines. ' Had the raid ben
conducted 'byour great reform demo
cratic' sheriff- It would have covered
the' whble"?ront page.. Great game
this. V;;; , ,.'
, ; U'e are pleased to note an account
; of a base ball game In an interior Ne
braska town between the "Mutts and
: Jeff ("iand Ue:8l!k' Hat . Harrys."
but cannot "', understand how the
: "Mutts" should have come out with
,the small .end of the score. j'LV ,' f
If the veto power is such' a bad
thing when, vested in a president, it
cannot be any better when vested In
a governor. Another amendment to
: the constitution of Nebraska to de
iprlve, the executive of participation
' in legislation must be in order.
Please Explain.
In his Gloucester address to as
sembled farmers, Woodrow Wilson
as democratic standard-bearer came
out flat-footed for parcels post, prac
tically ihe first really definite propo
sition to which he has committed
himself. He did not talk about an
experimental parcels post, or a partial
parcels post, but advocated a parcels
post that, would enable men to ship
their goods, large and small, from
one end of the continent to the
other.
This kind of," parcels post, says
Woodrow Wilson, Is part of the dem
ocratic program. If so, an explana
tion is due from some democrats in
these .parts who have been helping
the' express companies block the par
cels post
- Wnat lias Senator Hitchcock, and
his 'democratic newspaper organ, to
offer in explanation?
What has the democratic congress
man from this district, and the other
democratic congressmen from Ne
braska, to present in extenuation of
their opposition? . .
' If the democratic program Includes
a thorough and-efflcient parcels post,
as Governor Wilson says it does, he
has work ahead to convert his own
democratic, crew.
Omaha as a Manufacturing Center.
The. importance of Omaha strictly
as a manufacturing center is well
emphasized in the,-state labor com
missioner's report showing that 294
exclusively1 manufacturing concerns
pay in i wages $5,088,696 a, year.
They employ 5,976 men and boys
and 1,960 women and girls, but
only fifty-nine of these employes are
under 16 years of age. That In It
self is a most remarkable showing,
because It proves how consistently
Omaha manufacturers are living up
to the letter and spirit of the state
child labor law.
The labor commissioner in his
compilation has excluded many en
terprises that under a free construc
tion might be classed as manufac
tories', selecting only those that
come under this head exclusively.
He finds that In such Omaha has an
aggregate capital Investment of $27,-
006,725; that It consumes $15,806,
953 in materials yearly with an out
put amounting to $35,456,241 a
year.- - ,-. , ' , V
In this as in bank clearings.
Omaha takea a front rank among
cities of Its class: In bank clear
ings it stands sixteenth, surpassing
most cities of Its size, since it ranks
thirty-sixth in population, consider
ing only Us corporate , limits. So
here Is the Gate City of the west,
overlooking the most fertile fields
for the' treaty cereals, In the very
heart of the, corn belt and. one of
the three livestock markets of the
world, claiming still greater distinc
tion as a, coming ' manufacturing
center. ;;- . . ,V",
. , v The Southern1 Neffro.
The ' churlish treatment of the
southern negro by the new political
party draws attention to tha colored
man of the south and Invites new in
quiry Into his life and progress. It
makes him rather a conspicuous sub
ject Just v now f: and therefore a
glimpse" at what he Is doing' for him
self and the community should in
terest all. : .-;' '?'''., ,
' In eleven southern states ' there
are sixty banks owned' and conducted
by negroes. They, in connection with
four - other - negro banks, located,
respectively in Chicago and Spring
field, 111.; Philadelphia and Boston,
do an annual business of about $20,
000,000, But, while southern ne
groes are becoming banker and phy
sicians and teachers, merchants, pub
lishers and manufacturers, their
chief-, industry, and their chief ad
vancement .- . are In agriculture,
whither Booker. T. Washington and
other pivotal ben of the; race have
sought to lead them.
The government census reports
show a phenomenal increase in the
agricultural wealth of the southern
negro from 1900 to 1910.' ' Their
aggregate farming property In
creased from $177,404,688 to $492,
898,218,,. or 177 per cent,; 1n that
decade. ' They now own a combined
area of 20,000,000 acres of farming
and timber-land, or 31,000 square
miles, an area equal almost to that
of ; , Vermont, ' ? New. 'Hampshire,
Massachusetts Connecticut , and
Rhode - Island put together the
whole of New England except Maine.
The total wealth of the negroes js
estimated at' $700,000,000. y
'Any, man with a nice regard for
the truth and the rights of others,
must be cautious how he disparages
a race of men who have risen in less
than half a ceniury from slavery to
an estate of such iiuenigent thrift
and industry, as , this.' ; Personal am
bition or political expediency be
comes a very mean f motive. If it
prompts such disparagement.
The colonel would have us believe'
that (he eagerness of "Boss" Flinn
1 to devote unlimited work and wealth
to the bull moose cause Is in no
day due to expectation oMavors" to
i come, , If "Boss" Flinn were trying
'to help elect Taft or Wilson, how
,ever, he would, of course, be inspired
'solely by the consideration of some
corrupt deal.- - - . . ,
Jane Addams explains her enlist
meat in the bull 'moose ranks by say
ing that the platform pledges about
every reform she has been working
for. When the door was slammed in
the face of the negro delegates from
the south. Miss Addams protested
that this. discrimination did not fit
In with the promise of a square deal
and absolute Justice between man
and man,. The chances are that the
platform promises would not fit In
with ' actual performance were the
new party ever to be called on to
delivers - '.. :
THAT BULL MOOSE CONVENTION ;'.
SEEN THROUGH SOCIALIST EYES
Fred D. Warren in the Appeal to easoa
"ote for mi and save the country
from socialism." This was the message
delivered by Theodora Roosevelt to the
men and women who had fathered from
all parts of the United States in the
Coliseum at Chicago to hear from his
lips the remedy he proposed for the evus
existing In our social and Industrial so
ciety. Through the courtesy of our com
rados of the Chicago Evening World, I
had a seat in the press gallery and within
a few yards of Mr. Roosevelt during the
entire proceedings of the second day.
, Roosevelt is not an orator, nor has he
a pleasing personality, -ome may think
this statement biased because of my
rather unpleasant experience with tho
gentleman. However, I will say that for
nearly two hours he held the close at
tention of the vast audience while he
read from the manuscript his carefully
prepared ''keynote address" of the pro
gressive party. There was an expect
ancy on the part of the audience that
was very plain to- the observer. And
therein lies the significance of the Coli
seum meeting and the formation of the
progressive party. Here were approx.
Imately 10,000 men and women, most of
whom had been life-long republicans, rep-
resenting several million men and wo
men of like mind. Here were old men
who had witnessed the beginning of the
party of Lincoln, here were young men
who had been nurtured on the doctrine
that the republican party was a sort if
divine institution that Ooa In his Infinite
.wisdom, had ordained to look after the
affairs of mankind here in the Unted
States. Tet thess one-time republicans
publicly approved of Roosevelt's attempt
to wreck the g. o. p. and they had
gathered in Chicago to assist In the
work. . .
It Is true here were man smug poli
ticians who had failed to land jobs under
the Taft administration; here also were
aspiring statesmen who saw in the move
ment an opportunity for pelf and posi
tion; but if I am any Judge of human
nature, the majority of the delegates
present were In earnest In their desire
to bring about better conditions. The ex
pectancy depicted on their faces when
Roosevelt started to speak remained after
he had finished. The vast crowd was vis
ibly diaappointed when he announced
that this was his "confession of faith."
These people had expected a strong dec
laration of principles and a clean-cut
program , suggesting , a remedy for the
evils which all recognised existed; In
stead, Roosevelt handed them his "con
fession. " The reporter sitting next to
me, who was visibly bored during the
entire address, allowed Ms pencil to
aimlessly wander over the paper pad on
his desk and this Is what the Idle pencil
wrote: "Platitudes! Platitudes!"
The applause which started on th
appearance of Roosevelt, after the first
five minutes, was desultory and inter
mlttant . and kept alive for fifty-seven
minutes only by a cleverly Dre-arranfirA.1
program. At those points In this "great
popular outburst of enthusiasm," when
the noise got pretty thin, the colonni
stepped to the front of the 'platform
and waved his red bandana vigorously.
This was the signal for another round.
At other times the band would play,
ably seconded by the drum and fife
corps imported for the occasion. At the
psyohologlcal moment a orocession of no
tables and aspirants for fame marched
down the aisles' and were lifted "to the
platforms, where, in full Mew e-f the as
semblage, they pledged their allegiance
to the standard bearer of the progressive
party. This kept the applause going for
thirty minutes, stretching the time in an
to fifty-seven. Without Intending to be
funny, I can assure the readers of tha
Appeal there were, a'.l told, fifty-seven
varieties of enthurtasm oa this occasion,
but at the end cf .the long drawn out
hour, the crowd refused to waste any
more time In foolishness. ' Most ef these
people wers here In real earnest and they
were anxious t see the start of ' the
steam roller that was to mow down
the oppressors Of the common people
and establish the reign of Justice In this
trust-ridden country.
But In this they were sadly disappointed,
and the disappointment was visible on pi
faces of delegates and spectators alike.
Hree was the occasion and here the need
but their favorite bad fallen down lamely
at the very beginning of the race...Jt Is
true, he advanced Ideas which tie himself
admitted were radical in the extreme, but
a majority of those who heard him were
familiar with all these radical measures
through thf ir contact with socialist litera
ture. They i had heard Roosevelt de
nounce, in his characteristic way, thee
same measures and they were preplcxea
and puzzled at bis sudden change. 'Tiie
majority of the delegate oh the floor of
the convention were In the middle class
small business men, ' merchants, manufac
turers, land owners (but no working men
and no tenant farmers). They were
struggling against the 'octopus on the one
side and what they conceived socialism
to be on the bther. How Mr. Roosevelt
was to accomplish the Impossible feat of
protecting big business 'and saving the
nation from socialism by adopting planks
from the socialist platform was a prob
lem they could not solve and they waltel
In vain for Roosevelt to make plain to
them how he would work this wonder.
In these columns I have told you of
my belief that Roosevelt Is to be the
central figure In this campaign.
Shrewd, unscrupulous and without the
sllghest sense of political honor, he has
seized upon and made his own many
of the planks Incorporated in the social.
1st platform, which have been popular
ized by hard work and self sacrifice on
the part of the socialists of the United
States. Unless Vigorous measures are
taken by . the Appeal army and the
socialist party, we will see. In this cam
paign, the fruits of our endeavor tem
porarily swept aside. Roosevelt is am
bitious to be the Bismarck of the United
States. He proposes to kill the socialist
movement by pretending a conversion
to some of Its radical measures and to
sweep Into power on the' crest of the
wave of unrest that now threatens to
engulf the capitalist system.' Louis
XVI, vainly tried' the same tactics.
"With the unlimited millions back of
him, furnished by the Perkinses and the
MoCormlcks, he will be able to carry
on a campaign that will carry millions
of men off their feet, and It would bs
a miracle if some of those who have
today made up their minds to vote the
socialist ticket at the coming election
were not carried with the tide. The
setback win be only temporary, every
socialist knows ' that and In the and
if we do npt loss our heads and become
discouraged and disheartened t"we will
in , turn .reap 4 where Roosevelt Is now
sowing!" ' . .. . .... l.,.. . . ,
FOOD SHORTAGE AND HIGH PEICES
Thrift and Industry and Better Methoda of Soil Culture,
New Tork Tribune.
. .. - i -....
' It Is now and then said that the food
production of the United, States Is de
creasing relatively to the population.
That statement is ' not to be too im
plicitly accepted, not yet hastily rejected.
In some particulars there certainly Is
such a deorease, as in wheat, ye and
meats, "in others there Is probably an
Increase, ss In corn, oats and potatoes.
It is quite possible that there Is on the
whole a net decrease. If so, the inevita
ble result of a continuation- of that
process Is obvious. Moreover, in addi
tion to the diminution of supply, there is
a steady Increase In the cost of produc
tion. The average value of , farm land
has more than doubled in ten years. The
vast free ranges on which Innumerable
herds of cattle were raised cheaply are
rapidly disappearing, and the supplies of
our meat markets must more and more
be raised In fenced fields and in stables.
All these conditions inevitably tend 4 to
ward higher prices.
Perhaps the most significant feature of
the case, which at once explains the cause
of the comparative scarcity of the Ameri
can food supply and suggests the remedy,
is hinted at In the name and character
of the organisation at whose meeting the
forebodings of famine wers made. Lack
of fertility, or at any rate lack of pro
ductivity, is the chief fault. It is a statis
tical fact that bur average yield of wheat
to the acre Is less than half the yield in
many European countries. Hera It Is
about U.i bushels ' In England ,!t Is SL5
and In Scotland more than 39. Our yield
of oats Is 83 and Qreat .Britain's more
than 40 bushels.. We raise only 22 bush
els of barley to 83. In tbe United King
dom, and 94 bushels of. potatoes to about
200. It Is. true that, o;r averages are
higher In. some of the older eastern and
middle states, where conditions are more
like those in Great Britain; than in the
United States as a whole,, but nowhere
are they as high as in tbe United King
dom. ' ; 'j V'..'. '. ' -if.
It is not too much to say. then, that the
solution of tha problem of high prices,
not to mention that of protection against
actual scarcity, Is to be found in such
thrift and industry 'and improvement bf
methods as will increase the .productivity
of our soli to something like .the standard
Of other countries. If we could produce
wheat and potatoes here as abundantly
aa they do In England our crops of those
two great staples would be doubled at a
stroke. And surely we should not be
willing to confess that we cannot do as
well as other nations which In natural
conditions are less favored than we. '
CHEERY WORDS P0R HAY FEVERITES
Cause of Their Trouble Pointed Out and Stigmatized, v
. ti Washington Post.
The iridescent Ingalls paid a tribute
to grass which made tha flowers hide
their diminished heads, and Bully Bottom
went on record to the effect that "Good
hay, sweet hay . hath no fellow.", . In
sDlte of thee certificates of character.
the grateful herbage of the meadows
has fallen into disrepute because' the
mowing season coincides, with that- Au
gust peatllence, hay fever.
The real truth has long been estab
lished, and let It again be proclaimed.
The ragweed, that known offender, has
matured In the fields and hedges, and
sffUcted humanity greets the malicious
tatterdemalion with a tributary sneexe.
With the punctuality of an eclipse, the
delicate membranes respond to the titil
lating touch of the drifting .pollen. The
most amiable of men-good husbands and
tender fathers become as misanthropes
and hate mankind. Like the ancient
recipe tor getting rid of nut-grass, the
only remedy Is to move away., and so
they flee like a bird to the mountains,
green and white.
The science of medicine has wrestled
successfully with many of the graver
diseases. It Is drowning the rat that
raises the flea that spreads the bu
bonic plague It Is destroying the pool"
that : hatch the eggs that produce the
mosquitoes that propagate yellow Jack.
But before the annual visitation of hay
fever It stands Impotent and abashed.
No prophylactic measures can overcomp
the flaunting ragweed , In Its dog-day
madness.
The fellowship of misery Is doing what
U can to lighten tbe burden of the hay
fever season. The victims have organ
ised a national association and estab
lished a periodical for the .exchange of
experiences. All the secret places which
promise relief are searched nut and re
ports are duly made. But It Is one of
tie perversa eccentricities ef -the dis
ease that .the sanctuary jn .which . one
victim. Is immune has no effect, on an.
other patient. Localities that chase away
b-y . fever, - proper., only , Intensify Its
pathological., jn-laws,. ros fever and
peach fever. . The harpy haven of one
season becomes the- breeding g-oond of
affliction In -some following ynr. Sneez
ing, trumpeting as he goes, the Unhappv
exile wanders up and down the -earth
like some restless Salathtel branded with
a curse.
Perhaps, In sober truth, the area of
Immunity is more constant and mors
extensive, than .the low-spirited mem
bers of the national organisation - lead
us to believe, but the fact remains that
the-' man who shall make only one blade
of ragweed grow where tw grew be
fore, or shall otherwise stamp out the
malady which mars the Joys -of 'August,
will deserve to take hlen rank among the
benefactors of mankind.
- Scfewo- Aernti Perplexed,.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
- The researches of government sef en
tlsts as to the cause ef the holes to
Sweitier kasa may be more' fruitful than
the ponderings of the famous philosopher
over the holes In doughtnuts. Neither
problem Is1 so Insoluble;, howeveXi as the
tough one presented to a passing Investi
gator as to how the eajf goC. through
the- auger- hole .in ttt door Jamb -to which
Its tall wis affixed.
ThbDMliiOmalia
3 . O' k.
COMPILED PROM TlVK-a
AUGUST Iff.
Thirty Years Ago
Home talent won all around on the
diamond field, the U.' P.'s beating the
Waboo nine, 14. to S, at their association
park. Tommy Wilson, pitcher for the
second U. P. nine, pitched the flret six
Innings, and" then gave .way to Dorr,
while Bandle caught through the game.
The umpire Wfis John P. Lord.
At the B. & SI. grounds the St Louis
Reds were pounded put by 14 to 4. Dur-
kee and Brandt was the home battery,
and Mr. Mayo of Lincoln umpired.
There was a good attendance at .the
Omaha Driving park to witness the gen
tleman's roadster race, 'for which the
entries were: Henry Hornbergers
"Prince," F. A. . Nash's "Canada Girl,"
Sam Record's "Little Dave.." and Nell
Fitch's "Gypsy Girl." "Little Dave" took
the purse. . ,
Weather prophets say that two months
of hot weather may be looked for this
fall.
. Grading on the B. ft M. dump has
progressed so far that the frame of the
new freight house is already up.
The birthday of Miss Mattle Polack
the 8-year-old daughter of Mr. A. Polack,
was celebrated by a general gathering
of her friends at her home. ; '
' The plcnlo at Hanscom park under the
auspices of the Ancient Order of HI
bernlans was a great success.
The Burns club plcnlo gave a gala day
to the Scottish lads and lassies. In the
girls' running racs the prize takers were
Kate Liddel, Ira Innings and Belle Mel
gram. William Falconer was floor man
ager for ths dance.
T. W. - T. Richards and Miss Birdie
Richards left for. Denver.
Mr. F. A. Nash, for so long connected
with the t".' P., has sccepted the posi
tion Of general agent for the C, M. ft
St. P. at Council Bluffs and Omaha, and
will take his new place the first of the
month.
Twenty Tears Ago -
Rev. . Marlals Richards, formerly of
tha Chicago Theological seminary, ac
cepted a call to the Welsh Presbyterian
church In Omaha, Twenty-fifth street
and Indiana avenue.
Third ward democrats met at 1120 Far-
nam street and organised with these offi
cers: President. Edward Cosgrove; vies
presidents, C. Mansfield and D. Cosgrove;
secretary, James A. Fogarty; treasurer,
John Donovan; trustees, Gus Cary .and
Ed Rothery-
Mrs. J. R. Tilly departed for Radford,
Va., in response to a telegram announcing
the serious illness of her -daughter, Mrs.
3. T. Tilly, Jr.
The Ladles' Aid society of the First
Methodist church gave a farewell recep
tion In the afternoon to Mrs. A. L. Strang,
Soon to leave for Texas. The affair was
a surprise to Mrs. Strang. Mrs. F. B.
Bryant made an address conveying the
feelings of the women upon losing one
ef their most honored members and Mrs
Strang responded.
Tha Dourlas County Teachers' institute
came to a close. There was an enrollment
of 10i ten more than the previous year
Ten. Years' Ago- "' ' ':' ' ". .
Charles Edward Craln of Springfield,
O., andMlss Emily .Doane Wakeley,
daughter of Judge ani.Mrs. K Jikeiey,
were married at the home of the bride's
parents by , Rev. John Williams of , St.
Barnabas church. Judge and Mrs. Wake-
ley in their reception of the guests were
assisted by Mr. and Mrs. Charles, ti.
Craln, parents of the groom; Mr- , and
Mrs. Lucius W. Wakeley of St. Louis,
Mr .and Mrs. Arthur Wakeley of Omana
and jrftia Wakeley. The bride was given
away by her father and attended by Wlln
Daisy Doane.
Hundreds of Omaha Elks fllled the Bur
lington station to welcome horns George
P. Cronk, , the, nswly-elected grand .ex
alted ruler. . ..
Mrs. Martha Valentine, years old,
mother of Miss Georgia Valentine, died.
Samuel L. Branton, an old employs of
the Union Pacific ahoj was laid. at. rest.
His residence had been 1U North Nine
teenth street. . -
Thera was a report at Labor Tsmpio
that the street car employes had per
fected a local organization, 254 having
Signed the roll and others wers coming w.
Their national president, V.' D. Mahon
of Detroit, was hers directing the move
ment '' - -'
People Talked About
Ramon Escobel of Brownsville, Tex.,
who recently celebrated his" one ftundred
an tenth birthday, says he Is Still a
young man. His looks and actions would
suggest a man of 0.
Hiram Johnson, of California, on the
Roosevelt ticket for vice president of the
United States, Is the fifth. Johnson to
have been designated for sveh a Candi
dacy In the history , of this country's
politics. v' .- . .
Miss Alice Malone, who is manager -of
a banking firm In Washington, has been
elected a director and la said to be the
first woman to hold such a post in the
national capital. She Is also one of the
best accountants In ths country, of whom
there are five, equally expert.
Edward Clark Of Atlantic City N. J.,
did not get the axe exactly In the neck,
but an accidental clout of the Instru
ment on the side of the head smashei
a blood-clot that affectei his memory.
His restoration to normal mental health
hel?s to lift the, axe to the forefront of
surgical tools.
Mrs. William K. Vanderbllt has estab.
llshed a home for girls in connection
with the Big Sisters' society of New
Tork, of which she Is the founder and
leading spirit. The Big Slstere' society
was suggested by the Big Brother move
ment and alms to do for girls what the
latter does for boys and with as little
red tape. as possible. . r
Lucy Stone, "the morning star of the
woman's rights movement" was born on
a farm near West Brookfleld. Mass.,
ninety-four years ago August 13. Her
mother milked eight cows the night be
fore Lucy was born and said regretfully,
ef the new baby: "Oh, dear! I am sorry
It Is a (lit A woman's life Is so hard."
When Lucy Stone became a lecturer for
the cause she had the hose turned oa ber.
She .was deluged with, tee . watet, peppet
was burned In tho halls and spltballs,
books and all sorts of things were thrown
at ber., In tho face of all- this , Lucy
Btono fought down tha scoffers and lived
to see tho crusade revolutionise woman's
place . Is tha activities of : tha western
world. f
HOW TEE EDITORS SEE THINGS
Cleveland Plain! Dealer: It is stated
that Andrew Carnegie has Come out for
a graduated income tax. He is ready to
take his medicine with the rest-wlth the
added prospect of one of the biggest
doses.
Indianapolis News: But even with all
Mr. Perkin's vast resources it Is prob
able that he will have to dteappolnt some
enthusiastic converts to the belief that
there Is great financial profit to be made
out of playing the people-must-rule game.
Baltimore American:' Some Indignant
"bachelor girls" want to burn in effigy
the Colorado minister who gained
notoriety by a tirade against old maids.
The conservation spirit of the day ought
to show that It is wasting good powder
to pay attention to attacks of this kind.
Sioux Clty.Journal: Did you think the
colonel couldn't reduce the cost of the
necessaries of life to consumers without
reducing the profits of the farmers?
Wrong again. . The colonel charges
responsibility for the high cost t'of food
to ' the middlemen, and is going after
them. The middlemen, it will be noted,
are not so numerous as the consumers or
the farmers.
Philadelphia Record: Stubbs of Kansas
appears to have won the primary nomi
nation for the senate by a majority of the
legislative districts, but not a majority
of the voters. This sort of a victory
ought to be most revolting to men like
Stubbs and Roosevelt, who are terribly
afraid that the action of the people on
the government is not direct enough. On
the popular vote, Stubbs is believed to
be In a minority, which does not look
as if Kansas were red hot for the
progressives. But Stubbs will claim the
nomination on the ground of carrying a
majority of the assembly districts. This
Is defrauding the people of their right
to name the senator.
WHITTLED TO A POINT.
"I'm afraid there must be Insanity In
your family."
"Why. so?"
"1 hear that your daughter jilted the
man who runs the elevator In your
apartment house to marry a poet."
Satire..
Mrs. A.-Two lemon sodas, please, and
you can put them on the account my hus
band has here.
Clerk Sorry, ma'am, but flss drinks are
not charged. Boston Transcript.
"My hat's in the ring, and my coat's
off '
"Well, don't tear your shirt." Wash
ington Herald.
The Dorklns family had spent a month
at a Summer resort. "
" TaI. h m ...M 'Vra rtnrlHna with vrv
tfUllII. wwu ... i -J. .(. ......
Indication of profound sorrow, "we'll have
to stay here . another momn. nere s a
frrm M .Tina And ah MVS
ICkVQI . v.-lli ... . - 1 w
tvi.v'v -tout nlled the street in front of
Our; house!" Chicago Tribune.
..."How foolish you women are," said Mr.
.1 til K,.n hair "V.-.H don't catch I
men doing euch things as Joining Don t
worry ciuds.-
."Of course not" snapped Mrs. Nagg. I
"Men couldn't give up the pleasure of 1
worrying their wives." Baltimore Ameri-
can. ' ' v . ' -
Blngs I See a Woman has been cured of
rheumatism by a stroke -of lightning. .
Jings Tes. And the case differs front 1
so many surgical operations, announced ;
as perfectly successful 1n that the patient ;
is still allve.-Judge:' ; -
Bill When a Japanese maiden desires i
to show marked attention to her lover :
she uses tbe sharpened point, of ne of
her finger nails In writing to- him.
Jill I suppose many a poor Jap has ;
been "nailed" that way. Yonkers States- :
man. . . ; ,f, . , ,
"Are v6u a narty boss?" '
"Certainly not," replied the local despot
"I simply "' the boys how I am going to
vote, and then tell them to vota aa they
please. But heaven help them it they
don't pleaeo to vote the way I da"
Washington Star.
"Here's an Item." observed Rivers, who
was looking over the exchanges, "to the
effect that the king of Sweden raises prise
dogs on his farm."
"I suppose he uses them," suggested
Brooks, "to drive his Stockholm."
After which the rattle of the typewriters
broke out afresh with great violence.
Chicago Record-Herald.
THE SLAPSTICK MM.
W. D. Nesbit in Chicago Post
I don't care much for comedy or ths up
lifting tort '
The epigram and repartee and gently,
voiced retort; . , !
I can't say that I like the Jokes that leavo
. so much to thought
And do not bump against you in the fash-!
ion that they ought
That's why I always go to see, as often
as I can
A show that guarantees at least one
lusty slapstick man.
... . - ...
Tbe slapstick man! He never leaves you
guessing for the point;
He sets a fellow laughing till his verte
f brae unjolnt
Say, ain't it funny where he asks why:
chickens cross the road
And whacks It to his partner with that
energetic goad?
It does me good to see him swing that
slapstick like a fan.
And yell out, "Swow!" He's all the
goods that funny slapstick man.
And ain't It great where he sneaks up
behind his partner's back
Just when the show is getting tame, and
comes down bard kerwhack?
Then all the audience clap hands and
cheer and stamp their feet
And me? I laugh until I mighty near
fall from the seat!
Of course, the other actors do the best,
perhaps, they can
But as for me, I'd rather see a first-class
slapstick man.
Bl5BSaSB5SSa51g55B5E5BSg5BSa5a5E5HSrEgE5B5E5Bil
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