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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 12, 1911)
13 r The BEES Junior Birthday Book9 ii How to Train a Wife THE BEE: OMAHA. SATURDAY. AUOUST 12. 1911. le "The little Brown girl n g-ing to be mar ried." announced the Hopeful Housewife. "Who's the 1ml ky minr' Inquired the Confirmed Commuw net because he wanted to know, lut to keop the peace. "I frg-t his Hint.'' arv.nunced the prood bearer of tldlne-. torn young fel low she met on her vacation In July. 6h earn In to ask rr.y advice. Ffce said I always seemed so mntentd. and yet she knew we weren't very rich, and would I please teil her If one could keep a maid tZ a week." "I suppose you handed out some cheer ful advice," the Commuter ventured Idly. 'Tin afraid rt a?n't very cheerful." his wife replied. "I asked her If she could cook. She sail no, that 'mother didn't be lieve fn maklns a slrl too domestic that "mother said the less women knew the leas they had to do. that she had been brought up to have 'aocDrarlishirn-nta.' So I asked her if she thought hrr 'aceomp!l.-h-ments' were of such a rarp order that a man would want to ear port her for life for them. I u;d: - Too sine; a little, but net ro well you could ever males a cnt by It. Tou draw Just badly enough to make bad caricatures of your friends, but not well enough to de Sign a dress. You studied FYench that you might ass.st in the annual school girl massacre of a beautif Jl lans-uafre. but in Paris you couldn't order a cab or a beef steak without an interpreter."" ""Barring: those few thin ahe's all right." Interrupted the Confirmed Com muter. "But bow did she take your criticisms T' "Of course she waa perfectly furious.' 8h argued, then she cried. But when she want away she promised that if she took her S3 a week young man she'd start going to a cooking school tomorow." Tha Confirmed Communter had listened to his wife's recital with a broad grin on his exprealva countenance. "In the role of domestic mentor you're positively funny." ho said, "But I aJwaye thought that Brown girl had no sense of humor." "What's funay about It?" his wife re torted. "Every word I told her ia true even If It doesn't appty to my own case. I don't have to do those things but X have no Illusions about them." "And you don't want anybody else ti have not even a poor kid that'e Just gotten engaged." That's Just tt!" waa tha unexpected an war.. "The fewer Illusions she marries with, the more she'll die with." Told by the Troubled Tourist "This scheme of dressing New York no way guards ail in spotless white opens the door to some great possibilities." remarked the Troubled Tourist. "I can see where Twar city beautiful will soon have a beaut 1-1 ful eolor scheme If It keeps on, and we'll a able to gat away from the general gloom that has pervaded our masculine wearing apparel for the last hundred years. "We'll soon ba able to live, move and 1 have our being in an everyday pageant that will make tha stags managers alt up and take notice. "Idea seams to be spreading to other cities, too, where they want to dress the policemen In shirt waists, outing trousers and tennis shoes. Wouldn't that make a gorgaoua outfit? All tha posts would have to be mads stationary then, for tha gaudy guardians of the peace couldn't move for the admiring crowds. It doesn t say what kind of headgear they'd wear with this stylish rig. but I suppose a neat Panama hat with tha brim turned up In the back and a quill atuck through It would be about the thing. A combination nightstick and umbrella would go well with thia I tell you If you only had a traffic squad dressed like that wa d expect to bear 'em burst Into song any minute. "With the subway guards dressed In spotless white. It would be only proper to top out the elevated guards In robin's egg blue, for instance, and surface car conduc tors could wear something modest In the shape of buff, with scarlet trimming a. "Automobile chauffeurs could wear elec tric blue. Waiters could adopt shades suitable to the decorations of their respec tive hotels and restaurants, and barbers could select something tasty hi striped red. white and blue. Ttak would be a nice Cupld-llks color for messenger boys, but tt would have to t- Rough Cloak 3. P. Morgan waa recently offered a vary' Various rcllo by a London art dealer, says tha Philadelphia Record. It la called "The Drunkard's Cloak." and consists of a high wooden pail, bound around with bras hoops, in tha bottom bf which a hols is cut for the purpose of Inserting a man's head. The tdea of the contrivance waa to enforce temperance by means of public humiliation. Of onursa. the usage In England has long bean obsolete, but It was practiced exten sively In the midland counties about 100. years ago. "The Drunkard's Cloak" was a terrifying affair to tha dlpaomaniao who peratsted in seeing red mors frequently than was good for his own or tha public health. The particular "cloak" offered to Morgan stands about five (vet six Inches high calculated to suito nicely the average height of the unfortunate delinquent who cams within Its not loo ample folds. It was the custom, in the early days, to ex pos Incorriglbl drunkards by placing them MAVt BOTH YCMj LtTTK A "THK AVERAGE MAN DOESN'T A BARGAIN WHEN HE MARRIES." But." urged the Commuter, sentiment ally, "why put marriage on such a rordld basis? 'Why suggest to a young creature glowing with her flrrt love that her chirms, her little accomplishments, are not worth her keep? Be sure that t2T,-a-week young man dr rn t think that he's undertaking her support because she's undertaking to cook and keep house for nun." "Of course be doen't think It now. but be will the first time he comes home with a grouch to an unpalatable dinner." an swered his wife. "The'Greeka were right In considering the stomach the seat of the soul particularly tha male soul." "Oh. I on't know," the Commuter an swered, "you haven't a featherweight ap retite yourself. The point I'm making la that the average man doesn't drive a bar gain when he marries. Whatever you or I may think of that lltle girl's feeble efforts at singing. I've no doubt her young man believes she ought to be In grand opera and she probably thinks all tha Crusaders were not half so brave, nobis or handsome aa he." "Yes." said his wife, impatiently, "no doubt she does, and It's highly probable these mutual delusions will keep either of them from aver amounting to anything but not If I can help, It!" "Then why don't you found a school for the Training of Wives T " naked the Con firmed Commuter suddenly. "And set up a rival establishment to my own husband!" sha answered, smilingly. "I wouldn't think of such a thfhg! You've trained me too well!" (Copyright. 1911. by the X. T. Herald Co.) J "TP WE ONLY HAD A TRA FFIC SQUAD DRESSED LIKE THAT." be fast, and aky blue would be suitable for aeroplane conductors. I'm not sure Just what we might drees the city's garbage collectors In, but crash would do for the material. "Train callers and announcers generally would have to wear tha loudest colors, and only soft fall shades would do for elevator men. Janitors could wear royal purple to Indicate their supreme authority on the premises and tha coal man oouid bo made conspicuous in Tama color. Any melting shade would answer for the ios man. "As for the shoe-shining artist, he's al ready taken care of. The papers have an nounced that he's to have green umprellaa. Aside from that he can probably wear what he llkea." (Copyright, nil. by the N. T. Herald Co.) for Drunkards Inside this Instrument of torture and keep ing them "on view" in some public place. Only the head of tha occupant Is seen when wearing the "cloak." which Is anything but a cloak In tha acnes that it hides any one s shortcomings The person occupying "tha cloak" waa compelled to stoop In a very cramped position, and, altogether, his lot was far from bring a happy one. Wear ing tha "cloak" for tweety-iuur hours waa supposed to effect a wonderful reforma tion. Certainly tha treatment was heroic enough. Communities which resorted to such methods were. It is scarcely necessary to aay, more or leag free from drunkards In those early deya . Deity Demands Dtarlta. Robert Dulwtch, who has traveled ex tensively la the lesser known regions of the Himalaya, gives aa Interesting account of a native aeet known aa tha Tharys. who have some curious practice. The sect are worshipers of the goddess Kali. Thsy be lieve either in seif-deetrucUojl or in the sacrifice of one of their fingers le appease the deity. Thua It comes about that when the eldest member of a family la married tha unhappy mother la expected to cut off the first two Joints of tSa last two fingers of her hand. Princes and other smart people In this remarkable sect are allowed to offer a substitute of finger Joints modeled In gold Waalda't Let the Old Cat Die. "You believe, then, doctor," aaid the ele gant lady. "That my pet's Ufa eaa be saved by the operation r "Oh, yea, madam. The operation Is usually suoeeeafuL. The kldneya of an other strong, healthy eat of tha same breed and age eaa be readily transplanted. Of course, tha first pair may not suit, hut the second sr third trial generally suc ceeds." "Weil, go ahead, doctor, and perform tha operation, far I sincerely believe la saving the Ufa ef any poor creature waaaever possible," fan rraacloc Chronicle. Captive te Law at Sin. Text For the Good that I Would Do, I Do Not. but the Evil Which I Would Not. that I Do." Romans vti.lS. The experience of the apostle Paul aa related in the seventh chapter cf Romans Is a very common one. He tells us. In sub stance, that be wants to do right, wants to be a good man. that he loves the right and hates the wrong, but that some power within him Is ever drawing him away from the right and causing him to do that which he hates. Hi tells us that he finds himself often In the grasp of an evil power which brings him Into captivity j He rays: "But I see another law In my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me Into captivity to the law of sin. which Is In my members " We can all sympathize ith Paul In this experience. We have all felt the power of these opposing forces In our natures. We desire to do right; in our better mo ments we lore the rlicht and hate the wron. but. ala. there are times when the evil within us insolently dominates our better reives and causes ua to do the things that we hate. Taul calls the power which pulls us down "tha law of sin." He calls the power which Incites to better thlr.Ks "the law of God." The human soul Is a battle ground and the powers of light and the pom-era of darkness are ever waging a flrrce battle for Its pvasesnon. The apostle as hs con templates the awful power of the law of Loretta's Looking 1 haven't had my anger so thoroughly taken out and blown up and wall aired for months 1 And the girl who thinks wail of everybody did it. There ia something perfectly exasperating about tha persistent posy pleasantness of such a girt. If vices are simply virtues gons to seed, I haven't an idea what to say about her virtue It baa gone to the moon. It's liks Jack's beanstalk. It baa Just grown and grown and grown and grown, and then grown soma more, quite above and beyond where any healthy beanstalk or virtus was ever meant to go. A snob and tha girl who thinks well of everybody met. And L Loretta of the trenchant pen I quota from a correspond enthappened to be there. The girl Is one of the work era 8he has ta fairly peel tha edges off of greenbacks to get her clothes. And tbs snob is a young savage who waa also a worker herself ones, but took a shoot Into prosperity via the matrimonial airline. She was with a rich friend at the pic ture exhibition. And when she saw the girl coming toward her she lifted her silly lorgnette and her silly eyes and tilted her silly head and pretended that her slily brain could appreciate and be absorbed In the splendid and dignified cattle with which Carlton Wiggins had glorified a canvas. Perhaps her mean, small convolutions of gray matter might have been absorbed by the paint. Mr. Wiggins puts It on pretty thick sometimes. But she couldn't disguise When a ( TLL WIPE, VJVUAT A I sTA-U ABoUT VTJC " ( O'VOo Think OF ) V .BtAU ffGivMMELS THC NEW LID?- N WHAT 2 ' Class eh? ' y ( Loocxrr For?. VT5 on top I V Viav-v CJ ' ... Sb ' ' GEORGE A RAY. Factor Second Presbyterian Church, Coun cil Bluffs. Is, Glass-Girl Who Thinks the fact that she had seen the glrU I saw her see her! That aounds liks that idiotic round about X aaw Esau, eta! But I have to say it so the point may not be lost. So the snob with her nose In tha air and her rich girl friend beside her sailed by the girt. I hurried toward tba girt. And what do you think she said aa I burst out: "Sha cut you!" "On the Rhine" The German Rhine furnishes a most il luminating contrast to the decadent Mis sissippi. It ia commercially the most im portant river in the world. The United States has expended mors money in the twenty years ended In V7 on the most important stretch of the Missis sippo 20S miles, between St. Louis and Cairo than the German central govern ment baa expended In the Improvement of the Rhine from Strassburg to the frontier of Holland, a distance of Kit miles. Yet tbs smonnt of tonnage handled on this portion of the Sliaslsslppl in 13T was 374.081 tons, while that on tha Rhine In the same year waa between 40.000.000 and 4o.0O0. X tons, an amount from eighty to 100 times aa great. Hs who grievea before it la necessary grlevea mors than la necessary, MART MARRIED HOW MANy -TJ MILS' HAVE. "TQUD ytx "THAT ACS -TH only "things IN THC, HOJtf E TWT AJEVttt get Stuck V.ofyngfct. j N. v. iicra. cu- sin. as he conelrtors his own weakness, crips out In atony of fear. "Oh. m retched man that I am! Who shall deller me from the body of this death" His appeal la answered There Is one to rescue and Tsui Jovfully exclaims. "1 thank God through our Lord. Jc-us Thrift So. then, with the m;nj I myself s-rve the law of God. but with the flesh the law of sin." Romans vt::25. Without the help of Jesus Christ the powers of darkness will ever win the bat tle end drag us down We dare not ficht the battle alone. "Neither . there salva tion in any ether, for there Is none other name under heaven given iraraj rren whereby we must be saved "Acts ,v:l2. r Ancient Wisdom , From Ipnorance our comfort grows. Place net all your eggs in one basket. Give never the wolf the wether to keep. The morning hour has gold in Its mouth. Kind words don t a far out the tongue. AH men think all men mortal but them selves. Honor a physician before thou hast need of him. Who blackens others doea not whiten himself. Well of Everybody "I'm sure she did not see me." The lie waa an evidence of her deter mination to "think well of everybody," If she perjured her soul to do It. "Didn't sea you! Do you think she has developed an astigmatism Just because she has a lorgnette?" I ebullated. " "Sha did not see me!" the girl repeated, smiling that peculiarly inane variety of grimace which is affected by her kind. "You've lost your eyesight!" I exclaimed. I "I suppose you will go on giving her chances to snub you!" j "I shall forgive her." waa the not un i lovely answer. "That a all right. Forgive her: but don't prove yourself a candidate for the Imbecile asylum by denying the testimony of your own eyes.. You know she saw you. You know her narrow, proud little aoul snubbed you. Aud you are encouraging snobs like her when you fall to recojrnlxe their snob bishness and call It bad. Just as you would be encouraging the bad dreams if you went to a vicious performance and then gilded it over with your false assertion 'that it was probably well intended.' Anybody who deliberately encourages snobs ought to be snubbed?" It's a good deal blgeer to see a fault and forgive than tt Is to refuse to see It The girl who thinks well of everybody makea the mistake of assuming that there la noth ing wrong. Che runs up against some hard walls that she might have climbed If she had Just recognlred them as there and taken reasonable precautions about getting '.over Instead of bumping Into them. oki the. i , ... t j CHARLFS MCAFFRET. Kit Howard street. Xame and Addrees. School. Year. Phllll Adler. 3229 Harney St Columbian 105 Ben Abrahamson. J.20S North Twenty-fourth St . . . . Keilom 193 Evelyn Brodegard. 1317 North Thirty-fifth St Franklin 105 Howe Buffett, 1015 South Thirtieth Ave. Park 103 Harry Bugo, 4217 Larlmore Ave '.Central Park 100 Loy Coutta, 315 North Twenty-ninth St Drnld Hill 1904 Helen Cramer. 2S5S Spalding; St Lothrop 189 Ruth Cattln. 2441 Manderaon St High 1895 Harlan Cutchfield. 2524 Templeton S High 1895 Margaret Connoran, (03 Marcy 9t St. Phllomena. .... 1895 Margaret Carew, 1144 North Eighteenth St Holy Family 1902 Arthur Chriatenaen. 3011 Franklin St. Franklin 1903 James T. Durkee, 415 North Fortieth St High 1895 Barny Drevlch. 50 North Twenty-fifth St Casa 1903 Mattle Dannlnga, 1403 North Eighteenth St Keilom 1899 Harry Epstein. 1910 South Tenth St Lincoln 1902 Ruth Fraser, 1338 South Twenty-fifth Are High 1896 Ralph E. George, 2 431 Emmet St Lothrop 1899 Bessie Goldberg. 19 North Seventeenth St Casa 1902 Carl D. Halgren. 2721 Davenport St High 1895 Richard M. Hyde, 2512 Bristol St Lothrop 1905 Maria Imbert, 1958 South Thirteenth St Lincoln 1900 Lola V. Kaer. 3615 Hamilton St Walter George Kocher, 1611 Izard St Caeg 1900 George H. Likert, Jr., 1515 South Twenty-eighth St. .Park 1905 Lela Lahning, 3 407 Seward St Central Park 1900 Clara Meehan. 1910 Lake St...- La'ke 1903 Frank Malln, 620 North Thirty-second St High 1894 Hugh E. Millard. 2505 Farnam St Hlith 1894 Eddie Manowa, 1427 South Fourteenth St Lincoln 1901 Charles McCaffrey, 3314 Howard St Farnam 1839 Francea McFee. 2933 Martha St Pupont 1903 Paul Petersen. 18l2 North Twenty-flrit St Keilom 1899 Rudolf A. Pakieaer. 3078 Fowler Are Monmouth Park.. .1904 Annie Ruffens. 1036 South Twentieth St Mason 1903 Melba Seiffe. 3222 Charles St F-anklln 1904 Richard Singles, 423 North Twenty-ninth St Saunders 1902 August 8trohben, 1004 North Forty-aeventh Ave. ... Walnut Hill 1895 Ralph Truon, 2616 Bristol St Lothrop 1898 Clara Vanoua, 1925 South Eleventh St Carl Wyman. 3 414 California St Doris Weininger, 2716 Burdette St Joseph O. Young. 2853 Miami St..... Fair Ladies of the White House Turing the administration of William McKinley. the twenty-fourth president of the United States, his wife was the domi nant f:gure In the social life of the cap ital. Before ber marriage aha had been Ida Fax ton of Canton. O.. the granddaughter of a pioneer editor, who for ality years had charge of the Ohio Repository. Her father was a leading business man and banker of Canton. Miss Saxton waa edu cated at Cleveland. O., and at Miss East man's seminary, Media. Pa. Major McKinley won her hand among many suitors, for Mies Faxton was consid ered a bells and a beaut-. They were married on January 15, 1971, In the Presby terian church, of which Miss Saxton was a member. Her castor, tha Rev. Dr. Buck ingham, officiated, assisted by Major Mc Kiniey's pastor, tha Rev. Dr. Endsley of the Methodist church. Mrs. McKinley first became a conspicu ous figure at the White House during the Hayes administration, for sha waa a close personal friend of Mrs Hayes, reoelvlnis with her upon public occasions and taking Mra. Hayes' plaoe In her absence. Although never in very robust health, she was her husband's constant companion and guide. Tha tragic death of the presl- f Silhouettes of One tiny speck against tha aky. To groundlings aa they stars Hs seems no bigger than a fly, Polaed on the edge up there. Upon hla bead the sun rays flame. Aa on the topmost span Hs tolls, a hero lost to fame Tba brave skyscraper man. To him the dty seems a mite. Far. far beneath his feet. As tolling at his diziy height He makea the span complete. He ees throvgh peering, half-shut lids More wnnders built at home Than Egypt with its pyramids Or Caesars with their Rome. Perhaps a hundred times a day Ha touches hands with death. The mighty girders swing and sway. And aa ws hold our breath He put tba iron in Its place. Linked ts another spaa. And works with heavy, hearty grace Tha bold akycraper man. Ah. would that be might talk with v No doubt some mighty thought Would come into our knowledge thus This & fhe Day We Celebrate August 12, 1911. Franklin 1904 Lincoln 1902 Webster '. 1899 Long 1R97 Sacred Heart 1899 ruo tnuiAn rr3 Kitiiry dent at tha Buffalo exposition ten year ago next month gave Mrs. McKinley a shock from which aha never recovered. Sha died in 107. (Copyright. 1911. by the J. T. Herald Co.) the Sidewalk Out of his labors wrought. Perchance soma great. Inspiring theme Would pass from man to man. ome voicing of the toiler's dream From the skyscraper man. The whistle blows, he's through at last; Ha leaves his place on high And to the earth descending fast Looks 'round with ester eye. Surely some wisdom ws shall learn What ars those words ws hear "ay, where's old Nolan? It's his turn To blow me to a beer!" (Copyright, li'll. by the X. T. Herald Co.) Vie we of the V lilacs sage. Hard luck stories are usually harder on the listener. Soma men arc able to hold their own, but prefer to hold others. A man can put hla foot in it without actually stepping into a grave. Of course, there's no such thing as a aea serpent until it has actually been seen, It seems rather remarkable that when a man is down snd out hs is at the same time up againal It There is a great chance for tha colored folks in the rural districts to go into tho poultry business if they could only be (hade to see it. they are our most natural chicken raisers Boston Herald, et Asklasr Mack. "Tou say you'd go through thick and thin to win my hand?" queried the sweat, summer maidrn, "I would!" cried the young man. eagerly. "Than." coaxed the fair young tiring, with a careless wave of her hand, "swioa across yon lake and crawl through the adjacent mountain and I win eon alder you." Boston Herald. ; , i - " I "" 7. We-"'' ym- v iff In L Balalael taw Dwet. Hen peck Tour automobile raises a good deal ef dust, don't It? Goggles Not so much as X hud to raise to get tu