Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 01, 1911, EDITORIAL SECTION, Page 19, Image 19

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The ee'g ne Ua
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Serious History in Oomio Vein EETj
Several persons have threatened to set
the North river on fire." . Mid Show-M
Smith, the famous history mixer front
Mlmourl, "but up to data nobody ha
mlld any of the smoke."
"Nobody bu started a. blaaa there yet.
but there wn a tlma, though, when some
oody chained the river up for few hour.
"Fact. Chained H up and stopped all
tha ferrlaa and mixed up tha tldea ao they
didn't work right for a week. If you
don't believe ma. ge and look at tha piece
of tha ehalnj they're up thera yet. aome
where, a couple of llnka of them, and they
measure something over Hi feet apiece
Tou couldn't very well chain up tha river
with a watch chain, you know.
"Ton sec. It all oama about through
General Green Gage, or ona of the other
genera! that wera around here, thick at
pluma at tha time, being detained In New
York on buelnesa.
t Wasn't exactly business, either, for.
If tha truth wera known, ha waa cele
brating wtth tha boya at little dinner,
end they were trying to cripple the wine
trust by making tha demand axceed the
upply. Knowing very well ha would have
to account for hla not going home to dinner
te hla ooay llttla Jeraey home and that
ha would have to give a very special rea
son If ha expeeted to get away with It,
ho eat down between oouraea and Bent the
following telegram.
" "Can't get home tonight. Tha river
has atopped running.'
" Tin Idea!" declared hla fellow eel
brat or. plendld!'
"But aom time after Bending It tha gen
aral began to be torn by doubt. Bup
posa, after reading the telegram, the ar
biter of hla domettle destlnlea should go
down to tha river and Bea that It wa still
running. In that caaa she would doubt
him, and ha could not bear to be doubted.
Ho would make good.
Tailing hla ataff together, he aald:
" 1 went you to see at once that thle
river atopa running. Tie It up, chain It up.
dam It do anything you pleaaa with It
only atop It Jb you hearr
They heard, and, a to hear him waa
Wa should think that a very Deeullar
H f
w . Plain Talks on Serious Subjects
f J
l builder who began to erect a house without
drawing, or having an architect draw, a
set of plana It I just about as foolish
,' for us to live from day to day without lay
ing definite plana for ourselves. There are
many people In tha world who never think
I of planning thlnga ahead.
, It may sound very lovely to fold one's
hande and say resignedly, "Tha Lord will
'' provide;" but tha people who make such
y remark usually have no objection t
Providence providing through tha Instru
mentality of some fellow being who has
had the foresight to place things ahead.
It may be very comfortable to fay,, 1
never make any plana; I always let things
take their course." But have wa not no
ticed that a person who makea thla asser
tion Is usually very selfish and very prone
to forget that thlnga are. apt' to take the
wrong couree for him unlesa a "me thought
ful Individual steps In and steers them
right T It may be romantle to drift, but for
all practical purposes It Is far better to
steer -one's bark in a definite channel. Tha
able, may poaalbly arrive at tha port "8uo
drifting boat. If wind ard tide are favor-
," The well steered bark, even In spite
, . . unfavorable wind and tide. 1s bound tt
arrive there. Carefully laid plans are tha
tDerunner of ' every successful achieve
ment. "Tea," says the pessimist, "but what Is
r
Who's Who
It was quite evident from the Confirmed
Commuter's countenance and demeanor
that tha burden of the world was on hla
back.
"Hello!"' aald the Hopeful Housewife,
timidly, as shs opened the front door, and
with tha clairvoyance that cornea to tha
married woman read tha day's disaster in
his face.
"Hello!" echoed tha Confirmed Commuter,
and - put up an unshaven cheek for the
customary salute.
His manner was tepid beyond ther
mometers. "I guess that's a submissive kiss," said
his wife acidly. "I suppose you've been
reading that divorce caaa where the wife
left her husband because ha gave her only
aubinlsslve kisses."
, "Is that a threat or a promise?" he
asked In bis moat aggressive tones.
"Why won't you be serious about any-
agT" she plaintively inquired. "Tou
make a Joka of tha moat solemn subjects."
' "That's the only way to take them,"
her husband returned ambiguously. "If
you take your Joke solemnly and your
solemnities lightly you're going to make
a success In life. That'a what makes Eng
land a great nation and that's what
makes the decadence of France, too. It'a
not tha sagging birth rata, but the national
sense of humor that is going to maks
France a second rate power. -To be taken
seriously a man or a nation must be utterly
Incapable of a laugh at tta own expense."
"But. my dear, we are not talking about
aubmlaaiva nations, but submissive kisses,"
exclaimed tha Hopeful Housewife.
"What do you think of tha submissive
klsa, anyhow?"
"I'll have to sample It first." replied the
;
, i CANNED SALMONS
fi K'-'.'Y'-Vi
"THK RIVER HAS STOPPED RUN
NINO." to obey, they hustled out half scared to
death.
"The 'chain If part of tha order, how
ever, gave them an Idea, and they hustled
up to a blaokamlth ehop, where they
bought tha blggeat chain la tha place, and
with that In a flatboat they set out to
laeso the tide. They stretched tha chain
from bank to bank and double-padlocked
It and It waan't five minutes till (he river
had alowed down to a dog trot, and then
It atopped altogether.
"Not a moment too soon, however, for
the general'a wife had no sooner got the
telegram than she huatled down to the
ahore.
" 'He'e right,' aald aha. 'the river bu
topped running, but for a minute I
thought ha waa deceiving ma.'
"The general, you know," eonoluded
Show-Me, "waa Just Ilka me. Ha hated to
make any misleading statements."
(Copyright. 19U. by tha N. T. Herald Co.)
the use of planning? How often man pro
pone and Ood dlpasea!"
True, that eometiraea happens. Like ev
erything clae, planning Is good only In
moderation. It Is not wise to lay onVs
plans too definitely and too exactly, leav
ing no margin for unforeseen circumstances
which may arise; but It Is Infinitely les
wise not to have formed tha practice of
planning at all.
Tha man who has learned to plan things
ahead la a man to be depended upon. His
friends get Into tha habit of laying their
troublea before him and aaklng his advice
In finding a way out .of their difficulties.
Hla clear mind, welt trained' to understand
a situation at e'glancei Immediately 'graspa
tha facts of tha' caaa. debate mentally tha
proa and cone and in nine cases out of ten
he Is able to plan a course of action that
will lead out of the trouble. Thus he be
comes a power for good.
Jaat aa Easy.
Just a little millionaire,
Just a little wife,
Mighty little happlneae.
Awful lot of strife.
Just some little lawyers,
N Just a little fee.
Then a little evidence
To a referee.
Just a little court room,
Jut a whUpered line.
Scratching of the judge's pen,
And everything Is fine.
, New York Telegram. .
in the Home
"THE BEST WAT TO DEFINE A SUB
MISSIVE; KIS3 IS TO TAKE ONE!"
Confirmed Commuter expectantly.
"Now I don't mean anything of tha
kind!" asserted hla wife with soma petu
lance. "I mean what ia your conception
of the general, abstract Idea? I don't
mean anything concrete or personal abso
lutely nothing at all, and If you don't
atop being silly" .
"I haven't begun jet," he answered
"When I do I hope to find out what a
submissive kiss ia But. of course, you
know. It would take a woman of a good
deal of experience to draw such fine dis
tinctions In osculation. And It seems to
me a really sweet, nice woman would die
rather than admit that her husband merely
submitted to her eareaaea,"
Tha Hopeful Houaewlfe smiled sardoni
cally. "Why?" aha asked, "I often think lfa
very unselfish for a man or woman U
care about the affection they Inspire. . It'a
what wa feet, not what we make other
persons feel that makes us happy. Why
should the kisser worry about motive
so long as the klasee consents? I think
married persona would be a great deal
happier if they didn't weigh their emotions
SO carefully and If every fellow weren't
looking to be short-weighted."
"I don't know," tha Confirmed Commuter
smilingly admitted. "I'm beginning to feel
very aubmlaaiva Just now."
"Tou mean you submit a kiss for accep
tance?" aha Inquired.
Her husband nodded.
"Well," said tha Hopeful Housewife,
blushing vividly, "I'm afraid tba adltfcr
wlll have to regret"
. "Regret nothing!" tha Confirmed Conj
muter answered. "Tou don't know what
you are talking about! Ia my opinion the
beat way to define a submissive kiss la
to take one!"
"Par be It from ma to disagree with
you," said tha submissive lao
il piii
1 LITTLE SEIMON KM TOE WEffi BJ1D
Tsxt "The Eagle and the Stars."
Obadiah iv. "Though thou exalt thyself
as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest
above the stars, thence will I brine: thea
down, saith the Lord of Hosts."
We have here the symbolism of our own
beloved country. The eagle is the type of
the United Btates. Our Tag is that of the
tars. The eagle typifies lofty flight,
courage, freedom. These are all character
istics of our country. The stars eymbollis
truth, knowledge and Illumination. The
blue la the symbol of truth and purity.
"Our country was founded to exemplify
these virtues and Ideas. It is fitting that
at such a time a thla, when we are about
to celebrate the genesis and birth of this
nation, that ws should stop to consider how
true or false we may be. In our nrnnnu
and Individual life, to the Ideals of our
nation.
"This warning to Edom should ba taken
U heart by ourselves. The prophet ia warn
ing uiem agalnat trusting wholly or chiefly
In material strength. He tells them very
plainly that though they may be highly
exalted, they cannot get beyond the In
fluence and authority of a righteous and
Just Ood.
"We, as a nation, have little to fear from
Outside foea. Our danger are within. Some
of the dangers which threaten ua are the
decay of family Ufa. The family ia the
mainstay or the nation. When the family
Is strong and pure the nation la coi-r.
ponding! y strong and virtuous. Whatever
Loretta's Looking
-
The girls like Eugenia, who object to the
truth about women, will say, "Now, she's
calling us bugs!" But I am not. I am
bout, however, to Impart some useful In
formation. First, antennse on Insects are
feelers. And that Is Just what they are' on
a girl. They are the little ways and means
by which she feels about for the right
man.
They are precious little feelers because
they send the message to a , girl's heart.
They are the heralds of love. And it's Just
as right and natural for a girl to have
feelers and to use them aa It ia for bugs.
Have you aver seen a tiny Insect curled
up in a dark little wad, its small antennae
pressed against Its body? Maybe the cold
does it. Perhaps Bomethlng- hit it Or, It
may not yet have weakened, to the need
and us of Its antennae.
Tou are Just like that little bug. Only
you excuse your doubled up and useless
antennae as being "lady-like." And you
are wrong. It's no more lady-like for a
girl to alt In a corner and look down her
nose, with her antennae the charms, the
looks, the smiles, the grace, the curiosity,
the appeal doubled up and useless than It
Is bug-like for the little Insect to lit on Its
back and starve. The bug gets active. One
feeler, then another, straightens out. Then
presto the bug glvea a flip and a flop
and over It goea, to land right aide up. And
It makea, with Natura e aura Instinct, to
ward the flowers where the honey walu,
or toward the luscious wealth of the berry
patch.
But you sit and gloom! Tou haven't any
feelers! The other girls have. One has a
dimple that the men enjoy. Another has a
tongue that Interprets the bright thoughts
In her clever head. And the men tseek her.
Another has a laugh that Is delightful.
And the Inveterate Idealist man haa been
known to fall in love with an Ideal laugh
WHE M YOU GET YOUR
WORK DONE, COM4.
HfRE, I HAVE
JOB fop YOUl
A
t
i a yo. v s uso-, rwi
I V I v X. ' 3 I
GATHER PLENTji . Jj i. WsVi l&J '-V1 VlAKE! TKErV
WOOD AMD ! V' J'W Wll START
BUILD A GOOD fl ?ir l'V Y- i , ITl EWE:
FIRE UNDER r&2Z2?k ''?.tX,j. )f'nA iTWu G0
.ojjr KfcTTiE.' ::--?-vrffl " r fhch.im
SO THE SAP J U )r- "THE PAILS
MAY boil ZtZka J I ,V 1 I Ur v ) I OF SAP-'
(NICELY. JAKl USY h i ft' f y-) . r J THAT GOOD
' i it I mi nfsJpou?siiry,i i. .'j iiiLiiii
PTHA75
MAPLE trkWi 0 j&J l PELIC J OlS teP? DEED. HE J
sugar 700$ if . r K'Vf pof eon1 ,V VK frf) '
what A nkc 1Hi I I YOUR XCK rX 5i y JCC
PAt Wt'VC . U U CHORES f A 1 P-&C?Yk
(HADYyTTH J ji' , Ik TO 00 y! 0
VAn Qll ZTPJ sua 1 4-
affects the stability of the family Is to be
deplored and sternly opposed.
"Is It not true that we are largely losing
the high Ideals of family life which char
acterised the early days of the republic?
Tha facility of divorce, says Olbbon, was
one of the chlet causes of the decay of
Rome. Does not the same evil threaten us?
Ought not we who hold to Christian Ideals
set our face as a flint against the sin of
divorce and stoutly maintain ths indissolu
bility of the sacrament of marriage?
"The inad pursuit of wealth for wealth's
Glass - Eeflects Girl With
- J V W V A UW W II
because he thinks only an ideal girl could
laugh It. But you have none nf th fil
ers by which a girl reaches out and find
tne rignt man.
Poor thing !Poor thing! Poor thing! I g
tell you what you have. Tou have a per
nickety way of aour-grapely assuming that
you consider such girls favored. Tou pre
tend that you consider yourself with your
paralytic antennas oh! yes; you have
some, for never a bug or a girl was made
without them in some shape or another
as being more lady-like than they.
Is a stiff,. little wad any more bug-like
than a live little Jumper hopping to a feast
In' the flowers? Of counw nn V ....
not mora lady-Ilka because you are a prim,
stirr, carping prude. prude Is well. Just
a prude. Bhe isn'.fea, :hidy or a woman! " I
wouldn't dare call her a thing. 8he'a Just
Budget of Curious Facts
J
Tree planting occurred in Wall street.
New York, In July, 1838.
A spotted child waa born In Raleigh, N.
C, on August , 1803.
On June 13, 17S, Daniel Pennington, a
resident of New Jersey, ate eighty-nine
hens' eggs.
A sword fish struck a vessel near Jamaica,
West Indies, In November, 1809, and held
fast for six hours.
Boston Independent Chronicle of August
9. 1802, records the fact that Luppas Zallb,
who had Just died in Bmyrna at the age
of 118 years, bad sixty children by five
wives. ...
MJ NIECES
WE WILL
SHOW THEM
11 KE TO GO
OUT IN THE
HOW GOOD
W00D5 AN
MAPLE SrKUPl
IS MADE!
OMP SO
WE WILL
WETL TAP
THE TRttS,
SHOW
THEM A
riRST AKfl
GOODTlMtJ
PLACE THE
TODAY"
mm -mm. w
. LlJVTnri I ill l T i 1 1 I "l 1 1 I I in n
i
sake is another evil. Get mo.,fy st any
pries, and In any way, aometimea seems to
be regarded as the chief pursuit of men.
This accounts for the graft and corruption
which Is so dominant in our life today. Aa
patriotic citizens we should set our faces
ttalnt everything that has a tendency to
lower the standard and Ideals for which
our country should ever stand.
"Another evil, which, aa true Americans,
we should oppose. Is the growing disposi
tion to arry class against class and race
against race In our national Ufa. Hither
have come people from every nation under
heaven, aeeklng to rise to the full stature
of manhood. Every opportunity ahould be
given to them to develop Into the hlgheat
type of America oltlsenshlp.
"It la absolutely wrong to throw ob
stacles In the way of any man or woman
who la anxious to prove himself along
right lines.
These are. a few of the dangera which
threaten our national life from within.
Each one should aak himself how much he
is doing Individually to keep the nation
true to Its Ideals.
"Our nation Is destined to be great and
to fill our God-appointed task, but we will
only be able to Co so in the proportion
that each Individual contributes his share,
to the general good. Let us be true to
the symbolism of our country. Let us exalt
ourselves as the eagle. Let us set our
nerts above. the stars In civic and national
righteousness.
P a,ra,lv7pd Antenna. a II
nd solely a prude.
Tou need to think a bit It's the Inalien
able right of. every man and woman to
eek happiness. So far, though, they have
often not found it there; atlll the best place
to look for it is wtth the right one of the
opposite sex. If you are willing to forswear
your birthright, if you like stiff, cramped
up antennae. Just continue to decorate the
edges and pass cake at other girls' wed
dings.
But If you really and truly have the heart
of a woman, you must have the antennae.
Use them! Exercise them! Get the kinks
out of them! Polish up your smiles! Lubri
cate your speech! Learn to laugh when
you are amused! In short, put out those
honest, natural feelers that were Intended
to help you to the rose garden where lova
Ilea among the flowers.
One cannot lose what he never had.
Pour not water- on a drowned mousa
. A Jest driven too far brings home bate.
He that wants health wants everything.
With the morning cool . reflection comes.
Everyone is as God has made him and
oftentimes a great deal worse.
The world is a comedy to those that
think, a tragedy to those who feel.
At 30 man suspects himself a fool, knows
it at 40 and reforms his plan.
Hard Proposition.
Toung Bachelor I often . wonder If I
am making enough money to get married
on. (
Old Benedict Well, I don't know how
much you're making; but you ain't!
Puck,
f Polyglot Proverbs
) IA V I I U
The DEES Junior
LILLIAN TUFFIELD.
2824 Korth Twenty-Sixth Street.
Name and Address.
Philip Abboud, 1722 South Thirteenth
Isadora Abramson. 2316 North Twentv
Dora Bloom, 1314 North Twenty-iecond
Beulah Butler, 2521 Burdette St
Florence E. ChrUtensen, SS24 N. Twenty
George S. Colt, 1548 Harney St....
Marie L. Coleman, 3828 Parker St..
Bernlce Crane
Dora Davis, 2413 Indiana Ave
Evelyn Ekstrand, 2515 Arbor St
Maude Fallls, 319 South Twenty-sixth St
Charles B. Fuller, 3867 Farnam St
Lester C. Gates, 3120 Maple St...
Reuben Goldberg, 1422 North Sixteenth
Joseph Grady, 3818 Mason St..
Harry Holmes, 2611 Capitol Ave
Harold A. Hansen. 3322 Blondo St
Ella Hort, 2315 South Fourteenth St
Clarence Hanfelt, 2825 Brown St
Jacob Jacobsen, 2016 Pierce St
Dorette Kendis, 2024 Davenport St
Tommy Lewis, 1014 Martha St...
Paul Laushman, 2426 South Fifth St
David H. Leavitt, 191 1 South Thirty-second Ave...
Herbert Milliard, 3411 Franklin St
Morris Markman, 2516 Blondo 8t ,
Mary Miller, 2322 Paul St
Edward Murphy, 1621 Plnkney St
Morris Norlem, 2108 South Thirty-fourth St.......
Anna Penchansky, 1651 North Twentieth St
Irene Porter, 1516 North Sixteenth St
Hilda Peters, 613 Poppleton Ave
Amelia Rican, 1113 Briggs St.
Rupert Rice. 3033 Plnkney St.
Marvalina I. Rlgby, 1229 South Sixteenth
Hilda Rann, 1909 California St.
Lester Rlgby, 2809 Camden St
Minnie Settle, 2014 Pierce St ....
Jake Siegal, 1910 South Nineteenth St '.
Lorena F. Sallander, 8405 .North Thirtieth St.....
Christina Stephan, 2017 South Central Boulevard.
Sam Segelman, 1903 South Eleventh St.
Lillian Tuffleld. 2824 North Twenty-sixth St..-...
Frank Vanderford, 2521 Spencer St..
Tony Vashia, 918 Pierce St.
Ruth White. 632 6 North Twenty-fifth
Frank Walther, 714 North Twenty-eighth Ave
Raymond S. Wood, 2511 8outh Thirty-second Bt...
Robert Wendt, 2115 South Fourth St.,
r
Fair Women of the White House
Morristown was the birthplace of Anna
Byrnes, who became the wife of the ninth
preeident of the United State. William
Henry Harrtaon. She was born just before
the revolution, - and when at the age of
4 the motherless little girl waa taken to
her maternal grandparents at Southold,
Long Island, she remembered throughout
her life the Journey through the eountry,
then in possession of the British.
' Her father waa a oolonel in the conti
nental army, and in order to bring his
daughter to her grandmother for neces
sary care and training he assumed the
disguise of a British officer and achieved
his purpose. Father and daughter did not
meet again until after tha evacuation of
New York In 17M.
Her father married again and, emigrating
to Ohio, took hla daughter with him and
settled at North Band, where he had al
ready founded a lttle colony. It waa while
Ann was visiting an older married sister
in Kentucky that she met Captain Harrl.
son, then In command of Fort Washing
ton, tha present site, of Cincinnati. They
were married at her father's house in
November, 1795.
Then followed a varied life as the wife
of a soldier and statesman, a governor
and superintendent of Indian affairs. Left
much at home, Mrs. Harrison devoted her
self to her large family of ten children.
During thirty years of Ufa at North Bend
shs burled one child in Infancy and three
grownup daughters and four sons.
After the exciting campaign la which
Harrison was elected preeident he went
to hla Inauguration without his wife, who
was too delicate In health to make the
Liked Teetotalers
J
Colonel George E. Blythe of Columbus, O.,
was relating stories of the civil war.
"The canteen. Its use and abuse," said
Coionsl Blythe, "occupied tba minds of
civilians a good deal during tha war. I
remember an anti-canteen meeting that I
attended with a oouple of dosen colon!
and generala In Charleston.
"A funny thing occurred at this meeting.
'The chief speaker, a Savannah man.
had happened to get into conversation with
the landlard of his hotel in the afternoon
and the landlord had said that, speaking
out of a vast experience he preferred aJ
total abstainer to a moderate drinker any!
day.
' 'Will you com to our antl-canteea
meeting,' said tha lecturer eagerly, 'and
addrets ua on that haad T
' 'Sura I will,' aald the hotel man.
'So that night, after the lecturer had
finished his own speech, he said:
"Ladles and gentlemen, we have with us
this evening Brother Dash, tha proprietor
of the largest bar In Charleston. Brother
Dash prefers t teetotaler to a moderate
drinker any day, and he will now tall us
why.'
."Landlord Dash arose amid loud ap
plause. " Ftlenda,T be said. Tit tall you how It
la. A moderate drinker comes to my saloon,
orders a large boer, collars all tha morning
Birthday Book
This is &e
Day We
Celebrate
St
- seventh Rt
July 1, 1911.
School. Tear. .
.St. Philomena 1897
.Howard Kennedy. .1898
.Lake .....1902
.Long ....1896
8t
- eighth Ave
.Howard Kennedy.. 1897
.Columbian 1899
.High 1892
.High ...1893
.Kellom ....1902
.Castellar ........1905
.Farnam .1901
.Columbian 1899
.Howard Kennedy. .1906
.Kellom .1990
, Columbian ..... .'.1902
.Farnam 1903
.Franklin .1906-
. Castellar 1898
.Sacred Heart 1895
.Mason ...1901
.Central 1899
.Lincoln '.' 1105
.Bancroft ...189T
.Windsor ..1904
High ,..1894
.Kellom . ...1903
.Kellom .1901
.Lothrop .1896
.Windsor 1908
St
M i
,iKellom
1898
.Kellom 1900
Train 1899
.Pacific -...1899
.Druid Hill.. 1901
.Comenius 1908
.Cass ........... .1900
High 1815
.tMason ....1904
St
w. ..... .
.Castellar 1898
.Howard Kennedy.. 1903
.Vinton 1895
.Lincoln .......... 1904
.Lothrop ,1896
.Lothrop ....... Ul897
Pacific 1908 :
.Miller Par. .J901
.Webster .........1896
.Windsor ....... .,1900
.Train .,'1898
fit.
MR8 W. H. HARRISON.
journey. She never went Into tha Whit)
House aa Ita actual mistress, and held tha
title only for a brief apace.
Iu ona month from tha day of tha In
auguration tha president died of pneu
monia. Had ha lived she would have gone
to Washington. As It was, she continued
in ths old homestead until 1S6S. Then aha
went to liva in tba home of her eon, John'
Scott Harrison, near North Bend. She
died thera February, , 1M4.
(Copyright, 1811. by the N. T. Herald Co.).
papers, takes the beat armchair In the
place and atays tor three-quarter of aa
hour and all I get out of It la a nickel.
" 'Now, a teetotaler, he rushes up to
the back door, buys a quart of whisky,
buttons his vost over it and is off like the
wind. He don't give a grain of trouble
and I'm la 75 cants.' "Washington Star.
NATURAL OBJECTION.
.'..."' '. " ' ' ''
"1 alo wish yoaj woald keep yowf
ooae out of my ariairtl
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