1 1 1 t ' f N w i - The ee'g ne Ua gazJne ae M i t Serious History in Oomio Vein EETj Several persons have threatened to set the North river on fire." . Mid Show-M Smith, the famous history mixer front Mlmourl, "but up to data nobody ha mlld any of the smoke." "Nobody bu started a. blaaa there yet. but there wn a tlma, though, when some oody chained the river up for few hour. "Fact. Chained H up and stopped all tha ferrlaa and mixed up tha tldea ao they didn't work right for a week. If you don't believe ma. ge and look at tha piece of tha ehalnj they're up thera yet. aome where, a couple of llnka of them, and they measure something over Hi feet apiece Tou couldn't very well chain up tha river with a watch chain, you know. "Ton sec. It all oama about through General Green Gage, or ona of the other genera! that wera around here, thick at pluma at tha time, being detained In New York on buelnesa. t Wasn't exactly business, either, for. If tha truth wera known, ha waa cele brating wtth tha boya at little dinner, end they were trying to cripple the wine trust by making tha demand axceed the upply. Knowing very well ha would have to account for hla not going home to dinner te hla ooay llttla Jeraey home and that ha would have to give a very special rea son If ha expeeted to get away with It, ho eat down between oouraea and Bent the following telegram. " "Can't get home tonight. Tha river has atopped running.' " Tin Idea!" declared hla fellow eel brat or. plendld!' "But aom time after Bending It tha gen aral began to be torn by doubt. Bup posa, after reading the telegram, the ar biter of hla domettle destlnlea should go down to tha river and Bea that It wa still running. In that caaa she would doubt him, and ha could not bear to be doubted. Ho would make good. Tailing hla ataff together, he aald: " 1 went you to see at once that thle river atopa running. Tie It up, chain It up. dam It do anything you pleaaa with It only atop It Jb you hearr They heard, and, a to hear him waa Wa should think that a very Deeullar H f w . Plain Talks on Serious Subjects f J l builder who began to erect a house without drawing, or having an architect draw, a set of plana It I just about as foolish ,' for us to live from day to day without lay ing definite plana for ourselves. There are many people In tha world who never think I of planning thlnga ahead. , It may sound very lovely to fold one's hande and say resignedly, "Tha Lord will '' provide;" but tha people who make such y remark usually have no objection t Providence providing through tha Instru mentality of some fellow being who has had the foresight to place things ahead. It may be very comfortable to fay,, 1 never make any plana; I always let things take their course." But have wa not no ticed that a person who makea thla asser tion Is usually very selfish and very prone to forget that thlnga are. apt' to take the wrong couree for him unlesa a "me thought ful Individual steps In and steers them right T It may be romantle to drift, but for all practical purposes It Is far better to steer -one's bark in a definite channel. Tha able, may poaalbly arrive at tha port "8uo drifting boat. If wind ard tide are favor- ," The well steered bark, even In spite , . . unfavorable wind and tide. 1s bound tt arrive there. Carefully laid plans are tha tDerunner of ' every successful achieve ment. "Tea," says the pessimist, "but what Is r Who's Who It was quite evident from the Confirmed Commuter's countenance and demeanor that tha burden of the world was on hla back. "Hello!"' aald the Hopeful Housewife, timidly, as shs opened the front door, and with tha clairvoyance that cornea to tha married woman read tha day's disaster in his face. "Hello!" echoed tha Confirmed Commuter, and - put up an unshaven cheek for the customary salute. His manner was tepid beyond ther mometers. "I guess that's a submissive kiss," said his wife acidly. "I suppose you've been reading that divorce caaa where the wife left her husband because ha gave her only aubinlsslve kisses." , "Is that a threat or a promise?" he asked In bis moat aggressive tones. "Why won't you be serious about any- agT" she plaintively inquired. "Tou make a Joka of tha moat solemn subjects." ' "That's the only way to take them," her husband returned ambiguously. "If you take your Joke solemnly and your solemnities lightly you're going to make a success In life. That'a what makes Eng land a great nation and that's what makes the decadence of France, too. It'a not tha sagging birth rata, but the national sense of humor that is going to maks France a second rate power. -To be taken seriously a man or a nation must be utterly Incapable of a laugh at tta own expense." "But. my dear, we are not talking about aubmlaaiva nations, but submissive kisses," exclaimed tha Hopeful Housewife. "What do you think of tha submissive klsa, anyhow?" "I'll have to sample It first." replied the ; , i CANNED SALMONS fi K'-'.'Y'-Vi "THK RIVER HAS STOPPED RUN NINO." to obey, they hustled out half scared to death. "The 'chain If part of tha order, how ever, gave them an Idea, and they hustled up to a blaokamlth ehop, where they bought tha blggeat chain la tha place, and with that In a flatboat they set out to laeso the tide. They stretched tha chain from bank to bank and double-padlocked It and It waan't five minutes till (he river had alowed down to a dog trot, and then It atopped altogether. "Not a moment too soon, however, for the general'a wife had no sooner got the telegram than she huatled down to the ahore. " 'He'e right,' aald aha. 'the river bu topped running, but for a minute I thought ha waa deceiving ma.' "The general, you know," eonoluded Show-Me, "waa Just Ilka me. Ha hated to make any misleading statements." (Copyright. 19U. by tha N. T. Herald Co.) the use of planning? How often man pro pone and Ood dlpasea!" True, that eometiraea happens. Like ev erything clae, planning Is good only In moderation. It Is not wise to lay onVs plans too definitely and too exactly, leav ing no margin for unforeseen circumstances which may arise; but It Is Infinitely les wise not to have formed tha practice of planning at all. Tha man who has learned to plan things ahead la a man to be depended upon. His friends get Into tha habit of laying their troublea before him and aaklng his advice In finding a way out .of their difficulties. Hla clear mind, welt trained' to understand a situation at e'glancei Immediately 'graspa tha facts of tha' caaa. debate mentally tha proa and cone and in nine cases out of ten he Is able to plan a course of action that will lead out of the trouble. Thus he be comes a power for good. Jaat aa Easy. Just a little millionaire, Just a little wife, Mighty little happlneae. Awful lot of strife. Just some little lawyers, N Just a little fee. Then a little evidence To a referee. Just a little court room, Jut a whUpered line. Scratching of the judge's pen, And everything Is fine. , New York Telegram. . in the Home "THE BEST WAT TO DEFINE A SUB MISSIVE; KIS3 IS TO TAKE ONE!" Confirmed Commuter expectantly. "Now I don't mean anything of tha kind!" asserted hla wife with soma petu lance. "I mean what ia your conception of the general, abstract Idea? I don't mean anything concrete or personal abso lutely nothing at all, and If you don't atop being silly" . "I haven't begun jet," he answered "When I do I hope to find out what a submissive kiss ia But. of course, you know. It would take a woman of a good deal of experience to draw such fine dis tinctions In osculation. And It seems to me a really sweet, nice woman would die rather than admit that her husband merely submitted to her eareaaea," Tha Hopeful Houaewlfe smiled sardoni cally. "Why?" aha asked, "I often think lfa very unselfish for a man or woman U care about the affection they Inspire. . It'a what wa feet, not what we make other persons feel that makes us happy. Why should the kisser worry about motive so long as the klasee consents? I think married persona would be a great deal happier if they didn't weigh their emotions SO carefully and If every fellow weren't looking to be short-weighted." "I don't know," tha Confirmed Commuter smilingly admitted. "I'm beginning to feel very aubmlaaiva Just now." "Tou mean you submit a kiss for accep tance?" aha Inquired. Her husband nodded. "Well," said tha Hopeful Housewife, blushing vividly, "I'm afraid tba adltfcr wlll have to regret" . "Regret nothing!" tha Confirmed Conj muter answered. "Tou don't know what you are talking about! Ia my opinion the beat way to define a submissive kiss la to take one!" "Par be It from ma to disagree with you," said tha submissive lao il piii 1 LITTLE SEIMON KM TOE WEffi BJ1D Tsxt "The Eagle and the Stars." Obadiah iv. "Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and though thou set thy nest above the stars, thence will I brine: thea down, saith the Lord of Hosts." We have here the symbolism of our own beloved country. The eagle is the type of the United Btates. Our Tag is that of the tars. The eagle typifies lofty flight, courage, freedom. These are all character istics of our country. The stars eymbollis truth, knowledge and Illumination. The blue la the symbol of truth and purity. "Our country was founded to exemplify these virtues and Ideas. It is fitting that at such a time a thla, when we are about to celebrate the genesis and birth of this nation, that ws should stop to consider how true or false we may be. In our nrnnnu and Individual life, to the Ideals of our nation. "This warning to Edom should ba taken U heart by ourselves. The prophet ia warn ing uiem agalnat trusting wholly or chiefly In material strength. He tells them very plainly that though they may be highly exalted, they cannot get beyond the In fluence and authority of a righteous and Just Ood. "We, as a nation, have little to fear from Outside foea. Our danger are within. Some of the dangers which threaten ua are the decay of family Ufa. The family ia the mainstay or the nation. When the family Is strong and pure the nation la coi-r. ponding! y strong and virtuous. Whatever Loretta's Looking - The girls like Eugenia, who object to the truth about women, will say, "Now, she's calling us bugs!" But I am not. I am bout, however, to Impart some useful In formation. First, antennse on Insects are feelers. And that Is Just what they are' on a girl. They are the little ways and means by which she feels about for the right man. They are precious little feelers because they send the message to a , girl's heart. They are the heralds of love. And it's Just as right and natural for a girl to have feelers and to use them aa It ia for bugs. Have you aver seen a tiny Insect curled up in a dark little wad, its small antennae pressed against Its body? Maybe the cold does it. Perhaps Bomethlng- hit it Or, It may not yet have weakened, to the need and us of Its antennae. Tou are Just like that little bug. Only you excuse your doubled up and useless antennae as being "lady-like." And you are wrong. It's no more lady-like for a girl to alt In a corner and look down her nose, with her antennae the charms, the looks, the smiles, the grace, the curiosity, the appeal doubled up and useless than It Is bug-like for the little Insect to lit on Its back and starve. The bug gets active. One feeler, then another, straightens out. Then presto the bug glvea a flip and a flop and over It goea, to land right aide up. And It makea, with Natura e aura Instinct, to ward the flowers where the honey walu, or toward the luscious wealth of the berry patch. But you sit and gloom! Tou haven't any feelers! The other girls have. One has a dimple that the men enjoy. Another has a tongue that Interprets the bright thoughts In her clever head. And the men tseek her. Another has a laugh that Is delightful. And the Inveterate Idealist man haa been known to fall in love with an Ideal laugh WHE M YOU GET YOUR WORK DONE, COM4. HfRE, I HAVE JOB fop YOUl A t i a yo. v s uso-, rwi I V I v X. ' 3 I GATHER PLENTji . Jj i. WsVi l&J '-V1 VlAKE! TKErV WOOD AMD ! V' J'W Wll START BUILD A GOOD fl ?ir l'V Y- i , ITl EWE: FIRE UNDER r&2Z2?k ''?.tX,j. )f'nA iTWu G0 .ojjr KfcTTiE.' ::--?-vrffl " r fhch.im SO THE SAP J U )r- "THE PAILS MAY boil ZtZka J I ,V 1 I Ur v ) I OF SAP-' (NICELY. JAKl USY h i ft' f y-) . r J THAT GOOD ' i it I mi nfsJpou?siiry,i i. .'j iiiLiiii PTHA75 MAPLE trkWi 0 j&J l PELIC J OlS teP? DEED. HE J sugar 700$ if . r K'Vf pof eon1 ,V VK frf) ' what A nkc 1Hi I I YOUR XCK rX 5i y JCC PAt Wt'VC . U U CHORES f A 1 P-&C?Yk (HADYyTTH J ji' , Ik TO 00 y! 0 VAn Qll ZTPJ sua 1 4- affects the stability of the family Is to be deplored and sternly opposed. "Is It not true that we are largely losing the high Ideals of family life which char acterised the early days of the republic? Tha facility of divorce, says Olbbon, was one of the chlet causes of the decay of Rome. Does not the same evil threaten us? Ought not we who hold to Christian Ideals set our face as a flint against the sin of divorce and stoutly maintain ths indissolu bility of the sacrament of marriage? "The inad pursuit of wealth for wealth's Glass - Eeflects Girl With - J V W V A UW W II because he thinks only an ideal girl could laugh It. But you have none nf th fil ers by which a girl reaches out and find tne rignt man. Poor thing !Poor thing! Poor thing! I g tell you what you have. Tou have a per nickety way of aour-grapely assuming that you consider such girls favored. Tou pre tend that you consider yourself with your paralytic antennas oh! yes; you have some, for never a bug or a girl was made without them in some shape or another as being more lady-like than they. Is a stiff,. little wad any more bug-like than a live little Jumper hopping to a feast In' the flowers? Of counw nn V .... not mora lady-Ilka because you are a prim, stirr, carping prude. prude Is well. Just a prude. Bhe isn'.fea, :hidy or a woman! " I wouldn't dare call her a thing. 8he'a Just Budget of Curious Facts J Tree planting occurred in Wall street. New York, In July, 1838. A spotted child waa born In Raleigh, N. C, on August , 1803. On June 13, 17S, Daniel Pennington, a resident of New Jersey, ate eighty-nine hens' eggs. A sword fish struck a vessel near Jamaica, West Indies, In November, 1809, and held fast for six hours. Boston Independent Chronicle of August 9. 1802, records the fact that Luppas Zallb, who had Just died in Bmyrna at the age of 118 years, bad sixty children by five wives. ... MJ NIECES WE WILL SHOW THEM 11 KE TO GO OUT IN THE HOW GOOD W00D5 AN MAPLE SrKUPl IS MADE! OMP SO WE WILL WETL TAP THE TRttS, SHOW THEM A riRST AKfl GOODTlMtJ PLACE THE TODAY" mm -mm. w . LlJVTnri I ill l T i 1 1 I "l 1 1 I I in n i sake is another evil. Get mo.,fy st any pries, and In any way, aometimea seems to be regarded as the chief pursuit of men. This accounts for the graft and corruption which Is so dominant in our life today. Aa patriotic citizens we should set our faces ttalnt everything that has a tendency to lower the standard and Ideals for which our country should ever stand. "Another evil, which, aa true Americans, we should oppose. Is the growing disposi tion to arry class against class and race against race In our national Ufa. Hither have come people from every nation under heaven, aeeklng to rise to the full stature of manhood. Every opportunity ahould be given to them to develop Into the hlgheat type of America oltlsenshlp. "It la absolutely wrong to throw ob stacles In the way of any man or woman who la anxious to prove himself along right lines. These are. a few of the dangera which threaten our national life from within. Each one should aak himself how much he is doing Individually to keep the nation true to Its Ideals. "Our nation Is destined to be great and to fill our God-appointed task, but we will only be able to Co so in the proportion that each Individual contributes his share, to the general good. Let us be true to the symbolism of our country. Let us exalt ourselves as the eagle. Let us set our nerts above. the stars In civic and national righteousness. P a,ra,lv7pd Antenna. a II nd solely a prude. Tou need to think a bit It's the Inalien able right of. every man and woman to eek happiness. So far, though, they have often not found it there; atlll the best place to look for it is wtth the right one of the opposite sex. If you are willing to forswear your birthright, if you like stiff, cramped up antennae. Just continue to decorate the edges and pass cake at other girls' wed dings. But If you really and truly have the heart of a woman, you must have the antennae. Use them! Exercise them! Get the kinks out of them! Polish up your smiles! Lubri cate your speech! Learn to laugh when you are amused! In short, put out those honest, natural feelers that were Intended to help you to the rose garden where lova Ilea among the flowers. One cannot lose what he never had. Pour not water- on a drowned mousa . A Jest driven too far brings home bate. He that wants health wants everything. With the morning cool . reflection comes. Everyone is as God has made him and oftentimes a great deal worse. The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those who feel. At 30 man suspects himself a fool, knows it at 40 and reforms his plan. Hard Proposition. Toung Bachelor I often . wonder If I am making enough money to get married on. ( Old Benedict Well, I don't know how much you're making; but you ain't! Puck, f Polyglot Proverbs ) IA V I I U The DEES Junior LILLIAN TUFFIELD. 2824 Korth Twenty-Sixth Street. Name and Address. Philip Abboud, 1722 South Thirteenth Isadora Abramson. 2316 North Twentv Dora Bloom, 1314 North Twenty-iecond Beulah Butler, 2521 Burdette St Florence E. ChrUtensen, SS24 N. Twenty George S. Colt, 1548 Harney St.... Marie L. Coleman, 3828 Parker St.. Bernlce Crane Dora Davis, 2413 Indiana Ave Evelyn Ekstrand, 2515 Arbor St Maude Fallls, 319 South Twenty-sixth St Charles B. Fuller, 3867 Farnam St Lester C. Gates, 3120 Maple St... Reuben Goldberg, 1422 North Sixteenth Joseph Grady, 3818 Mason St.. Harry Holmes, 2611 Capitol Ave Harold A. Hansen. 3322 Blondo St Ella Hort, 2315 South Fourteenth St Clarence Hanfelt, 2825 Brown St Jacob Jacobsen, 2016 Pierce St Dorette Kendis, 2024 Davenport St Tommy Lewis, 1014 Martha St... Paul Laushman, 2426 South Fifth St David H. Leavitt, 191 1 South Thirty-second Ave... Herbert Milliard, 3411 Franklin St Morris Markman, 2516 Blondo 8t , Mary Miller, 2322 Paul St Edward Murphy, 1621 Plnkney St Morris Norlem, 2108 South Thirty-fourth St....... Anna Penchansky, 1651 North Twentieth St Irene Porter, 1516 North Sixteenth St Hilda Peters, 613 Poppleton Ave Amelia Rican, 1113 Briggs St. Rupert Rice. 3033 Plnkney St. Marvalina I. Rlgby, 1229 South Sixteenth Hilda Rann, 1909 California St. Lester Rlgby, 2809 Camden St Minnie Settle, 2014 Pierce St .... Jake Siegal, 1910 South Nineteenth St '. Lorena F. Sallander, 8405 .North Thirtieth St..... Christina Stephan, 2017 South Central Boulevard. Sam Segelman, 1903 South Eleventh St. Lillian Tuffleld. 2824 North Twenty-sixth St..-... Frank Vanderford, 2521 Spencer St.. Tony Vashia, 918 Pierce St. Ruth White. 632 6 North Twenty-fifth Frank Walther, 714 North Twenty-eighth Ave Raymond S. Wood, 2511 8outh Thirty-second Bt... Robert Wendt, 2115 South Fourth St., r Fair Women of the White House Morristown was the birthplace of Anna Byrnes, who became the wife of the ninth preeident of the United State. William Henry Harrtaon. She was born just before the revolution, - and when at the age of 4 the motherless little girl waa taken to her maternal grandparents at Southold, Long Island, she remembered throughout her life the Journey through the eountry, then in possession of the British. ' Her father waa a oolonel in the conti nental army, and in order to bring his daughter to her grandmother for neces sary care and training he assumed the disguise of a British officer and achieved his purpose. Father and daughter did not meet again until after tha evacuation of New York In 17M. Her father married again and, emigrating to Ohio, took hla daughter with him and settled at North Band, where he had al ready founded a lttle colony. It waa while Ann was visiting an older married sister in Kentucky that she met Captain Harrl. son, then In command of Fort Washing ton, tha present site, of Cincinnati. They were married at her father's house in November, 1795. Then followed a varied life as the wife of a soldier and statesman, a governor and superintendent of Indian affairs. Left much at home, Mrs. Harrison devoted her self to her large family of ten children. During thirty years of Ufa at North Bend shs burled one child in Infancy and three grownup daughters and four sons. After the exciting campaign la which Harrison was elected preeident he went to hla Inauguration without his wife, who was too delicate In health to make the Liked Teetotalers J Colonel George E. Blythe of Columbus, O., was relating stories of the civil war. "The canteen. Its use and abuse," said Coionsl Blythe, "occupied tba minds of civilians a good deal during tha war. I remember an anti-canteen meeting that I attended with a oouple of dosen colon! and generala In Charleston. "A funny thing occurred at this meeting. 'The chief speaker, a Savannah man. had happened to get into conversation with the landlard of his hotel in the afternoon and the landlord had said that, speaking out of a vast experience he preferred aJ total abstainer to a moderate drinker any! day. ' 'Will you com to our antl-canteea meeting,' said tha lecturer eagerly, 'and addrets ua on that haad T ' 'Sura I will,' aald the hotel man. 'So that night, after the lecturer had finished his own speech, he said: "Ladles and gentlemen, we have with us this evening Brother Dash, tha proprietor of the largest bar In Charleston. Brother Dash prefers t teetotaler to a moderate drinker any day, and he will now tall us why.' ."Landlord Dash arose amid loud ap plause. " Ftlenda,T be said. Tit tall you how It la. A moderate drinker comes to my saloon, orders a large boer, collars all tha morning Birthday Book This is &e Day We Celebrate St - seventh Rt July 1, 1911. School. Tear. . .St. Philomena 1897 .Howard Kennedy. .1898 .Lake .....1902 .Long ....1896 8t - eighth Ave .Howard Kennedy.. 1897 .Columbian 1899 .High 1892 .High ...1893 .Kellom ....1902 .Castellar ........1905 .Farnam .1901 .Columbian 1899 .Howard Kennedy. .1906 .Kellom .1990 , Columbian ..... .'.1902 .Farnam 1903 .Franklin .1906- . Castellar 1898 .Sacred Heart 1895 .Mason ...1901 .Central 1899 .Lincoln '.' 1105 .Bancroft ...189T .Windsor ..1904 High ,..1894 .Kellom . ...1903 .Kellom .1901 .Lothrop .1896 .Windsor 1908 St M i ,iKellom 1898 .Kellom 1900 Train 1899 .Pacific -...1899 .Druid Hill.. 1901 .Comenius 1908 .Cass ........... .1900 High 1815 .tMason ....1904 St w. ..... . .Castellar 1898 .Howard Kennedy.. 1903 .Vinton 1895 .Lincoln .......... 1904 .Lothrop ,1896 .Lothrop ....... Ul897 Pacific 1908 : .Miller Par. .J901 .Webster .........1896 .Windsor ....... .,1900 .Train .,'1898 fit. MR8 W. H. HARRISON. journey. She never went Into tha Whit) House aa Ita actual mistress, and held tha title only for a brief apace. Iu ona month from tha day of tha In auguration tha president died of pneu monia. Had ha lived she would have gone to Washington. As It was, she continued in ths old homestead until 1S6S. Then aha went to liva in tba home of her eon, John' Scott Harrison, near North Bend. She died thera February, , 1M4. (Copyright, 1811. by the N. T. Herald Co.). papers, takes the beat armchair In the place and atays tor three-quarter of aa hour and all I get out of It la a nickel. " 'Now, a teetotaler, he rushes up to the back door, buys a quart of whisky, buttons his vost over it and is off like the wind. He don't give a grain of trouble and I'm la 75 cants.' "Washington Star. NATURAL OBJECTION. .'..."' '. " ' ' '' "1 alo wish yoaj woald keep yowf ooae out of my ariairtl I t 4 t J i f .i t i H w r- -' ! , i ' x . . n if? u , ' -r 1 1 ''t '1 i t ".it I 'I ' I i. .'A -'9 - f I i.