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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 31, 1911)
11 '8 nrAj? MaaziIP Pa The Bee' Junior IMrlluloy B Her Husband's Voice 11 ' BY AMETIK MAN. is Aimed at Rancid Butter and Stale Eggs, but Hits a Romance. THE BKK: OMAHA. TUESDAY, JANTAttY 31, 1911. The cgee ook mm ins is tne uaj P."-l ecennrnr. 1lk- the fair ex which ; renrns It. I theoretically beautiful. It s I a-tHalap,i"t i another matter. I Every housewife' knows anil every hus band Irarmi.nt (he end of the week that if you buy .expensive things they are apt to b. BO good J that est moie tiian usunl -proceeding w lib h "has a ghastly effect on-the Ille. . VVbreas. If you buy cheap thing their very unps1ntntlrne.s. which make Hmhu- Ist., belli along the good ranee of .aa InK, This Is irterely . t.y , way of preface to the M'l.liUf ! Marv. ,h helpful hand maiden wl Jnlin Ci.tup, the huttii- and eta mani N , The Amateur-Wife hnd known for some . ime that 'of '.all the rtahmg delivery men who lingered at the hack door or loiere) In "the ttftiliem because ' of It attractive sovereign, middle aged widower who called twice, a week-wlttt butter and eggs waa the preferred mittor.- Ula wife , hot nf a specially ctirloiiN nature, tmf now and then aa she ant at breakfsst. irtrav' fragments of their court ship sifted through the open reglster-and were duly' "related" to' ' the Tont Graduate Husband.1' ' ' " Don't yoi'i tuV to me of men!" Mary had exclaimed tt hef, admirer on one oc casion "I have no use for them! Helleve me, they're "uliaurU -ei caliirea! And aa for you. I think you're, too fresh!" "That's more than his eggs are!" the I'oat OAdulte Hnsband" had growled when the ounveraetUm had been repn-ted to him. "I know.Jt." .bis wife agreed meekly, "But what' can we do about It? When I bought eggs from the grocer he charged ua for aeven dozens In one week. If we buy from this man who cornea only twlca a week wa can Weep track of our purchasea batter., Beside, dear, we don't eat half ao many whnn we buy fjom him." "No," -aa,W Her Hlsband, "even Woof Woof the IKigv baa to be half atarved be fore he'll touch tli em." . "They're not bad eggs," protested. . His Wife. :. t. - . "No," afgteed the Post Graduate Hus band, "I'd' have -more.- respect for them If they were. They'r Just cold storage like a lot of "Jokes t hear around here." The next morning a break fan t increased his respect 'for the eggs or at -least one of tham hlrh-had passed entirely out of tie doublful"class end an settled, for the time being" at least, the fate' of the butter and egg man.'' ' ' Mary, bearing a plate' of hot soda bis cuits, which she Insisted upon calling "aronea," entered the dining room at the moment when-hla- -doom waa being pro nounced. "I don't. . care how " much money we gave," decreed Her Ifusband, "that fellow Scandal of y 1 lif t J JNo .vn'. M anything rash. Amy!" ;;rtoahl after tb,n, way I hve etood his abuse .for. years', pon't talk to me-! my mind la nade tP tp, divorce, him." "But- remembajr. hat-' . . VQh,. I -remember everything. Natalia, the way.-ouwn run, after him. and flatter hlra to deaths, that--i-", "That wasn't, what 1 meant," Interrupted the other woman, hastily, "but Just think of the scandal!" .'Of eouree, that Is what you would think of,' you conventional ureature. But what do I care for thai? 1. tell you , frankly. I should bus taken this step long ago It It hadn't been that I waa determined not to leave him fre. to. marry one of my rlvala. But now well now It Is different. Society will have Borne fun when It learns the1 name of the co-respondent. I fancy." There was no semblance of grief In the face of "the Injured wife. - Her red lips had hardened. and her eyea sparkled with gleeful malice as sba surveyed her caller. The latter had piled visibly, and now, aa she rose to take her., leave. It waa with a nervouaneMu quite- foreign to her usual graceful repose. ... Both -women were called beautiful, but Amy Haworth's regular features had none of the rharm that mn found In the dark, omewhat uieuncho)y face . of Natalia Beverley. -.. -.... . In figure both were of that type slender to. attenuation .which the modern fashion able woman spends half her life trying to attain or to preserve. , s . . VHjunel". ordtrvd Mrs. Beverley to her ooachnian. but . as she was driven down the avenue he roulJ .not-have told ta were. th Iwwa and wiil'.cs which she me chanically jetucnd. In, her ynlnd there waa room for but one thought. -Over and pvtr again her pale Hps muttered, "hhe know! ,li knows!" Midnight found her still pacing her room. How veuki ahe ever ,fac the manclal that awaited .her? she, tl widow of a dis tinguished Judtfe she,- who until now had alas Uetn beyond -the reach of gossip. 8ha knew Amy llawurth: knew how she would gloat over the humiliation of her rival. .-1 What she could not fathom was Amy's readiness to do now what she had deollnd tv tlo in the puttt. leave Ocoftrey ree to many another. Mie recalled the air of triumph- wun-h Amy had worn as fche Imparled her determlimtion. There waa something laiik of It all. but ittl? Ild Amy ii(umi . thkl tJcoffrey. once free, wuld not care to ark the blchslng of tha church 'of his union with his latest .' . aOtresOME. -'How jjj the enow ro on me "An awful frostf In one town hoy in the gallery wen ted hia money bck. because he was afraid to etay up there alonel ill) f !cfZ 1 1 1 VHAJ SIE, IS YWP, CRITICISM Of TWt " BVTTtJi AVD EGOS ? AfKtD KABY. has got to go! Mary." he- called, "when the Butter and Eggs Man comes today, tell htm he's fired!" "What, sir." asked Mary.- with a sus picious softness as she set the "scones" on the table. "What Is the matter wit it the butter and eggs?" "The butter is rancid and the eggs are stale!" replied the Tost Graduate Hus band, despite a warning glance, followed hv a kick under the table from His Wife. And at the words Mary, the scornful man hater Mary the Jester at love's wounds, melted to mad teara. "Ile'a all the company I have! If he goea. I go!" she Bobbed, and rushed from the room. The Amateur Wife, with a scornful glance at Her abashed Husband, followed to the pantry-, end for want of any tangi ble form of consolation began to pat Mary's back as If she had ewallowed an orange pit. "Don't cry, Mary!" she said. "It's all nonsense about the'Rutte'r and Eggs Man! He can come as long as you want him, Mary! You can take more eggs a week If you want to. and we'll have more desserts, Just to use them up." Mary's sobbing had grown leas violent and at that moment the Post Graduate Husband, an humbled and much wiser man, appeared In the doorway. "Cut It out, Mary I was only foollng." he explained. "Here's a couple of cigars for the Butter and Eggs Man." Then, as the consoled Handmaiden re treated down the basement stall's, he turned to His Wife: "Never mind," he Bald with, determina tion, "I'll bring some good butter and eggs from .town tomorrow." ' (Copyright, 1911. Kby the N. T. Herald Co.) Two Floors' love 7 And waa she countmg on ..that to bring Natalia's prlda still lower? Well, aftd what would Geoffrey want?; It waa the first, time that there had .oc curred to Mrs; Beverley any .doubt aa to his loyalty. She knew, as did all the world; of his numerous affairs in the . past, but, after the manner of women, she had . be lieved Implicitly his assurances that those were trivial experiences compaV-ed to hi feeling for her. He had frequently declared that to her. he could not help being faithful, and It was her proud belief that she alone had the power to hold him. But In that moment her confidence was shaken. Did the attraction which her poetical temperament possessed for his sensual nature really constitute ao strong a bond as she allowed herself to think? The doubt was startling enough to divert her mind for the moment from her other great fear? If he proved Indifferent over the effect upon herself of Amy'B ault, that would he the crowning blow, but, of course, she could count upon him, and Amy Ha worth'a revenge would be robbed of at least a part of Its sting. As for the scandal of It, well nowadays It was not even necessary to attempt to live down such things; they were forgotten be fore one had the chance to try. But In the cold light of morning her mood changed. There rushed over her afresh all the horrible vulgarity of the thing. Her picture In the papers, along with Ills' and Amy's. Extracts from her letters to him perhaps. It was too hldeoua to endure. etna must make her escape. But might' It not already be too lute? Why even today it might all come out. She glanced apprehensively at the pile of morning papers which her maid brought In wlih a cup of coffee and left by her bed side. On top lay the "yellowest of the lot. and she snatched It up. No need to search . There wa the familiar name In enormous letters htaring at her from the front page. ' Her eyes closed dizzily, but .even when they were well open again It took her some j time to take In the whole meaning of what she saw : j "His wife too thin for iilm! Geoffrey llaworth, piumlnem society man, aued for I divorce! Plump. rosy-cheeKed Irish cham- ueimaiu natnvu a co-respondent I And It Is icported that, far from being abashed, the Joliy clubman declares that he la tired of all the scraggy, bony wumcn of society !" Alice de Carret In The Story Book. Klucldullua tbe Law. The magistrate looked sternly over the gold-rimmed glasses at the puny. Individual In the dock. "You are charged," he remarked, reading the formal complaint, "with having wil fully. felonioiiHly and with malice afore thought appropriated to your own uae and behoof a certain article, towlt: A one wheeled vehicle, rwmmnnly called a wheel barrow, the said vehicle having been wrongfully and feloniously abstracted by you from the premtsea of one, John Smith, carpenter, on September 18, Anno lKminl, roiifary to the statute in such casea made aul iiovided. and against the peace and diguily of this great realm. What have you to aay? Are you guilty or not guilty?" The prisoner's face assumed a pea-green hue. his knees trembled and he stammered forth: ".Not guilty, guv'nor. All I done steal a bartow." Tit-Hits. was to r Klae. Isaac's hous was for sale, and he told hla friend At. ram about an offer he had had "Samuel Ivinskl saldl he vould gif ina five t'ousand dollars vor Idt." "Huh!" Abram grunted scornfully. "He aindt got fife dollars to hla name he candt buy idt." - , "Veil, I kaow he nandt. But idt vas a mighty fine off", " Llpplncott a. f 7 VWILI THINK AHHH- uvviHrC VAl 1 V am wot vLJ Lr r I , r coming, roc r A ,iJ t f i I CA7CH.NC VA ff P. X M. fSxWi fe.' fATnir Vft-fV! ' fHQ' 1 HAVE) I fHUH l T-MTnIxFS AGAIN! .W,Rfe $lltl2rl?r TIME;MY GIRL MAKff JVa OH! I'M LhAO OFF! ) AT ONE OF Hfri .7 7S', RAW BITS I W.LLJ tte TOji 4 U - z-f - " VI Rials of Angelica1 Beastly .of- Johnnie to get 111 Just before Edfth Gayl6ra'a dinner dariee.' T can' always count pn hlin for a lot of dances, and can be very Informal, and throw him .over it any one' else comes along that I prefer. There are some advantages In ' having known a person since you were six months old. The only time ft didn't Work waa when I : wanted "to dance with that French count.- ,' He said, "Oh. Gellie, would you throw me over for tha.t?" He was so nice about Tt, : though, .that I; threw my arms around his neck and kissed his coat collar. But I sea you cannot be too grateful to young men. He Immediately Insisted that l give "MY NEW BLACK HAT." him that dance, and when I wouldn't, got dreadfully disagreeable, and we almost had a fight. I said I'd never kiss his coat collar again, and he aaid he'd rather I didn't kiss his collar, anyway. I got mad der and madder, and wished I could think j of something to aay that would absolutely pulverize him something that would be very cutting and end the whole discussion. Cousin Anne, who Is near-sighted, mis took Melville Thomas for a waiter the other du'y and called him "my good man." It was fearfully tactless of her, and he looked awfully dashed. She ought to wear glasses all the time. She said afterward that she had aeen him perfectly, but nat urally had thought that If he was at the de Buysters It must be In the capacity of a waiter. He's so nice and Jolly, too. I think she mut be a little snobbish. Any way, 1 looked haughtily at Johnnie and said. "My good man. It gives me no pleas ure to klBs your coat collar!" There la no use in my trying to be dignl- HAD HIM THERE. "The tips your brother gives ma axe alwayi wrong." Then why don't you play there th other way?" - JfS 1 p fled; The first thing I kp1" he fas chaa- j Ing me around the fountain; . It was very exciting. We knocked cdwn a lot of flower pots, and a couple, .who had been Bitting in a corner got a .big one right on top of them. I believe' 'waa Piggy and Agnes. ' 1 .' We did have a chaae, and Just as. I was getting exhausted, the Count- appeared and said: "A charming picture, mademoiselle, and nearly caught, . were yeu not?" . He did look horrid, and I wished he waa any where else. I said: "Yes Why did you Interrupt? I am sorry th4e. dance is en gaged." He said: "Evidently," and walked off. Johnnie was putting his gloves on, and I began to Boston by myself. We could hear the music, and we danced in the conservatory, and It was. lovely. Then we sat on the edge of the fountain, and he told me he thought I waa so attractive, and nearly fell In. I told him J thought he Was the nicest man I knew, and I nearly fell In f A Lonely Ex-Empress J The death within a tew daa of each other of Mine. Bartholonl and the Baroness Alphonse de Rothschild In Paris recalls the famous "Dinner of Twenty Beauties," in which both ladles took part. The dinner waa offered to the Emperor Napoleon III by the Empress Eugenie In fulfilment of a lost wager, and the in vitations were to the most beautiful women in the French court. It was a cosmopolitan company Mme. Bartholonl and the Mare- chale t'anrobert, both Scotswomen; Mme. de Galllfet, who was English; Princess Anna Murat, an American; ten French women, two Russians, one . Italian, one Hungarian, a Creole, a Jewess (the late Baroness Rothschild) and the empress her self, a Spaniard. Now, on the death oftbe two ladles In Paris last .week, the Empress Eugenie re mains the sole survivor - of that famous dinner. r Daily Health Hint J It Is wise to drink a cupfut of very hot water, freshly boiled, every morning upon arising. This makes an Internal bath and Is as useful as the dally external bath. ARTFUL. But why did she marry her husband's brother?". "So as to have but one mother la-law." A' 'life ATI UUfT-OBTfjlBL! H waa the best dance I've been to, and the Gaylords" would have been loads oi fun. They have a conservatory, too, and a fountain to nearly fall In. I called Johnnie up last night and asked him how he was, and said what a pity la waa too sick to go. I said the house was so attractive A perfect ballroom, and such a beautiful conservatory. I said I had noticed he was interested In botany lately, and there was such a marvellous oppor tunity to atudy plants there. He said he waa going, and that nothing would keep him at home. It's so nice to have one or two people at a dance who will be the same all the even- "JOHNNIE 18 ALWAYS THE SAME. Ing. I have noticed that so many men who are attractive at 10 o'clock become most unattractive at 2, and then a great many who are extremely unattractive at 10 o'clock appear very attractive at 2. But Johnnie Is always the same, and supper doesn't make any difference in htm I mean outside him. He Is always so sin cere, too, and tells me when he doesn't like my clothes and when he really thinks I look well. I do hope he Is not becoming Insincere. Lately, he has only tola me very com pllmentary thlngH, and when I Waa going out the other day In my new black hat. I was obliged to tell him that I hated com pliments and that I'd like It much mora If he would say something I didn't like. I got frightfully mixed up and he said I had lovely eyes. I aid coldly that he might have done what 1 asked him to, and the Idiot said he hud. He's very silly, but you can't help liking him. "Wiry don't you get married?" "It would destroy my mean of livelihood. I write love storiea lor tnaguineV WAY OF We Celebrate mm TUESRAY, January 31, 1911. Name and A!lroiH. Abert Anderson, 2806 North Twpnty-sixth Louis Abranison, 2316 North Twenty-seventh rauline Pritton, 2232 South Sixth St Alfred Horrhmnn, 1718 North Thirty-third Neva Burge, 917 North Twenty-second Robert Blaekmore. 3704 North Twentieth St Frederick Berquist. 1301 South Twenty-fifth Av. Luclle Cli7.be. California Hotel Vera M. Collins, 4214 Nlcholns St Louis l)Rhm, 1441 South Elfihteenth St Frank Davis, 4429 Jackson St Columbian . ; . 1 S I 7 Harry J. Fisher, 3171 Orand Ave.. Monmouth Park. .,190,-. Ralph Fair. 4719 Parker St Walnut Hill . . v. . 1 s t 10 Flynn, lfi56 North Nineteenth St Kellotn . .1S95 Francis Galliasn. 1608 North Twenty-fourth St Long 1S9S Eva La Greco, 2205 Fierce St , Mason .1002 Jonas U. HolniRren, 2826 Cass tt ' Webster 1S97 Lillian Henrickson, 3032 California St Webster ,189.". I'aul A. Hungate. 2619 North Twentieth St Lake ..1S99 John Herman. 1310 North Twenty-fourth St Kellotn .1903 Edward C. Irvln, 2715 Ohio St .' Howard Kennedy . .1 89' S Maria Joreenson. Seventh and Boulevard Bancroft ,1903 Eva LlndRulst, 4 604 Cass St Helen M. Michalek, 1931 South Twenty Violet Moline, 3318 Emmet St Edward Moore, 1511 Locust St...; Harry Nelson, 3117 Taylor St Roy W. Peterson. 3408 Sahler St Inez Poole. 1126 North Seventeenth St Cass 1905 Naoma Prlday, 3515 Davenport St Saunders ...1897 Emma Tetters, 1701 Leavenworth St Leavenworth .....1900 May Petty. 4617 North Twenty-second St Saratoga ........1903 Victor Pkerbloom, 4636 Izard St Walnut Hill.,;. ... 1900 Florence Rlese, 1503 South Twenty-eighth St Tark ...1899 Ulle Rice, 3620 Grand Ave MoamoutU Park . ..1902 Edna Rohrs, 2112 Locust St Lothrop 1897 Bella Rosenthat, 841 South Twenty-first St Leavenworth 1903 Gertrude Reldy. 4148 Ersktne St Francis M. Sullivan, 2846 Blnney St Walter Spellman, 811 South Twenty-second St. .. Raymond L. Smith, 5320 North Twenty-ninth St. Anna Stock, 3017 South Sixteenth St Edson Smith, 1840 North Eighteenth St May Thompson, 2011 Clark St Kellom 1900 Hllbert Tlerney, 212 4 Burdette St Lake 1899 Mamie Vldlak, 2318 South Twenty-seventh St ..Dupont 1902 Delia Vessendall, 2511 Krug Ave Vinton ,....1901 Ruth Weaver. 5624 North Twenty-eighth St Miller Park 1903 Margaret Woodward, 2565 Manderson Willie Winquist, 2116 North Twenty-seventh Annie Wardian, 1024 North Twenty-seventh Nellie White, 310 Bancroft St Samuel Zimmerman, 3117 South Nineteenth St German Lutheran. 1903 , - Such is Life J Life Is what enables tha baby to kick his feet -about In infancy, 'and what he kicks most about during his- adult days. Generally life begins with a squall, and It often continues equally to the end. There are four modes of life: bachelor hood, a fast life; splnsterhood, a slow life; matrimonial life, which Is suspended ani mation; and the Reno electric life, a spicy variety composed of alternating currents of the married and single kinds. The butterfly life Is the gay one, but it la too short; the tortoise life Is longer. but It Is too alow; and If you try to strike a safe and sane gait In the middle of the road, you get run over by soma joy rider going the pace that kills such as you. Life is the most necessary thing In the world you simply cannot live without It. It Is as uncertain and difficult to control as dynamite or a woman. Too much life will land you In Jail, , and too little In a coffin. High life is dangerous, as one's aero plane may have, a "brainstorm" at any minute or altitude; and there Is no longer much enjoyment In low life on account of the settlement worker and slumming par ties. Apparently tha only escape from burgeola dullness is to marry as often as possible; and there Is always danger of falling In love with your wife and settling down to a duckpund placidity. If you are lacking In life, you are termed a "dead one"; it endowed with real life and ginger, you are dubbed "too fresh." Verily, life la a picture puszle, and there are always too many pieces or not quite enough. Smart Set. Ministers have so many things to worry about that It Is pretty hard to add the bargain-hunting habits of their parishioners meir oilier cairn, oui iuiiid ui mciu m.1 c aoomea to snouiuer mm e&u uurueii. om members of the congregation are not likely to go out hunting cut-tate pews In other churches, but newcomers who are Just de ciding upon a church home all do it. "A reduction of I- a year In pew rent will fetch the barguin hunter every time," said a New York sexton. "O'lly lam week an up-state woman who expects to make her home in New York concluded that of all city churches of this denomination she liked ours best and would take a pew here, but when she found she could get a pew tr.at suited her about as well in auo'.her church for t3 a year leaa she let all other considerations go by the board and iden tified herself with that church. The cut- rate pew hunter is a recognized feature of modem church life here. Because a new member elects to Join our congregation does not at all signify that he shares our religious convictions or likes the pastor and our service; it may mean that we charge less for the pew he likes than an other church up street." New York tiun. The I mrm nt Dull, It Is interesting to note that the part dust plays in making the sky blue Is only one of tha services It renders us while It la floating far above us. In the upper air it adds much to our comforts and pleasures, unpleasant and unwholesome aa It la at closer range. The moisture In the air con denses on particles of dust; but for dUKi there would be no visible clouds to beautify the sky and to warn us of approaching rain; there would be no twilight, and the moisture that is now suspended In clouds would keep our clothing and the Interior of our house aa damp as If e lived In perpetual fog. If V 1 1 Bargains in Pews m j I J lira S(1ihI. Mr. St Howard Kc-nncU.v . .1 Sft St .... Howard Kennoily 190t 1906 1SP1 1900 1S9S lS9Hf Traiu St... St Krnnklln Kellom . l.othrop ....;. l'ark .V 11 igli '1S95 Walnut Hill . .1002 . ..1900 St. Joseph '. . - ninth St. . Saumlors . Dupont .Howard Kennr-dy; . Sacred Heart. . . . 1896 1897 1905 1900 1902 1895 Monmouth Fnrk High .Clifton Hill .1903 .Howard Kennedy ..1897 . Mason .1900 .Miller Park;,. 1905 .St. Joseph 1903 .Lake ,;1905 St Lothrop 1897 Ave. . . Ixing ......... .w 1899 St St. Joseph. ..... .1898. Bancroft ........ 1904 r D. Cutting Expenses Paternalism with a vengeance is prac ticed In certain Philadelphia groceries. It is benevolent paternalism though., "Ma wants two pounds of sugar,'' said a child to a patriarch In the trade. He consulted a calendar on the wall. "I gueis you'd better take pnly a pound today," be said, "and go kind of Blow on that. The week Is only half gone, but you have already eaten up three-fourths of your allowance. Tell your mother so." The child promised to deliver the report on financial depression. t ' "That is the only way on earth to keep those people from running Into debt," said the grocer. "The system . Is conimon In this neighborhood. I do it at the custom ers' request. Every pay day women with spendthrift husbands and an extravagant deposition of their own deposit ..enough money with the grocer and butcher to see the family through the week. They In struct us to let no one overdraw the amount and except In cases where extra food Is actually needed we stick ' to our end of the bargain." Philadelphia Ledger. r Plenty of Water J The Taclflu ocean covers BS,000,000 miles, the Atlantic 3U,0UO,OuO and the Indian, Arc tic and Antarctic 42,uOO.OOO. To stow away tha contents of the , Pacific It would be necessary to fill a tank one ntle long, one mile wide and one mile deep every day for 440 years. I'ut In figures the I'aclflu holds In weight 4t.0M.000,Ou0,U00.0U0.000 tons. The Atlantic averages a depth of not quite three miles. Its water weighs 325, (XW.OiiO.OOU.oyo.OOO.ooi) tons, and a tank to con tain it would have each of Its sides 4.10 miles long. The. figures of the other oceans are In the same sturtling proportions. It would take all the sea water In the world K.OUO.uOO jeurs to flow over Niagara. Klue Weather Nulflilra. The Hladxtlcs of suicides show that al most everywhere the tuoKt agrutuble uud beautiful months. May and June, are those during which self-destruction Is common est; apparently because the working day is llien longe.Mt, and fatigue then most likely to result In despondency. Yel among idle males the rale is twice as great as among occupied males; HO ovejwork seems less likely than Inefficient work to excite the sultidul Impulse. TOO BAD That man me out of a mil lion dollars! "Oh,Billie! But how?" 'Refu&ed to let me marry bla daughter