11
'8 nrAj? MaaziIP Pa
The Bee' Junior IMrlluloy B
Her Husband's Voice 11
' BY AMETIK MAN.
is Aimed at Rancid Butter and
Stale Eggs, but Hits a Romance.
THE BKK: OMAHA. TUESDAY, JANTAttY 31, 1911.
The cgee
ook
mm
ins is tne uaj
P."-l ecennrnr. 1lk- the fair ex which ;
renrns It. I theoretically beautiful. It s I
a-tHalap,i"t i another matter. I
Every housewife' knows anil every hus
band Irarmi.nt (he end of the week that if
you buy .expensive things they are apt to
b. BO good J that est moie tiian usunl
-proceeding w lib h "has a ghastly effect
on-the Ille. . VVbreas. If you buy cheap
thing their very unps1ntntlrne.s. which
make Hmhu- Ist., belli along the good
ranee of .aa InK,
This Is irterely . t.y , way of preface to
the M'l.liUf ! Marv. ,h helpful hand
maiden wl Jnlin Ci.tup, the huttii- and
eta mani N ,
The Amateur-Wife hnd known for some
. ime that 'of '.all the rtahmg delivery men
who lingered at the hack door or loiere)
In "the ttftiliem because ' of It attractive
sovereign, middle aged widower who
called twice, a week-wlttt butter and eggs
waa the preferred mittor.-
Ula wife , hot nf a specially ctirloiiN
nature, tmf now and then aa she ant at
breakfsst. irtrav' fragments of their court
ship sifted through the open reglster-and
were duly' "related" to' ' the Tont Graduate
Husband.1' ' ' "
Don't yoi'i tuV to me of men!" Mary
had exclaimed tt hef, admirer on one oc
casion "I have no use for them! Helleve
me, they're "uliaurU -ei caliirea! And aa for
you. I think you're, too fresh!"
"That's more than his eggs are!" the
I'oat OAdulte Hnsband" had growled when
the ounveraetUm had been repn-ted to him.
"I know.Jt." .bis wife agreed meekly,
"But what' can we do about It? When I
bought eggs from the grocer he charged
ua for aeven dozens In one week. If we
buy from this man who cornea only twlca a
week wa can Weep track of our purchasea
batter., Beside, dear, we don't eat half
ao many whnn we buy fjom him."
"No," -aa,W Her Hlsband, "even Woof
Woof the IKigv baa to be half atarved be
fore he'll touch tli em." .
"They're not bad eggs," protested. . His
Wife. :. t. - .
"No," afgteed the Post Graduate Hus
band, "I'd' have -more.- respect for them If
they were. They'r Just cold storage like
a lot of "Jokes t hear around here."
The next morning a break fan t increased
his respect 'for the eggs or at -least one of
tham hlrh-had passed entirely out of tie
doublful"class end an settled, for the time
being" at least, the fate' of the butter and
egg man.'' ' '
Mary, bearing a plate' of hot soda bis
cuits, which she Insisted upon calling
"aronea," entered the dining room at the
moment when-hla- -doom waa being pro
nounced. "I don't. . care how " much money we
gave," decreed Her Ifusband, "that fellow
Scandal of
y 1 lif t J
JNo .vn'. M anything rash. Amy!"
;;rtoahl after tb,n, way I hve etood his
abuse .for. years', pon't talk to me-! my
mind la nade tP tp, divorce, him."
"But- remembajr. hat-' . .
VQh,. I -remember everything. Natalia,
the way.-ouwn run, after him. and flatter
hlra to deaths, that--i-",
"That wasn't, what 1 meant," Interrupted
the other woman, hastily, "but Just think
of the scandal!"
.'Of eouree, that Is what you would think
of,' you conventional ureature. But what
do I care for thai? 1. tell you , frankly. I
should bus taken this step long ago It It
hadn't been that I waa determined not to
leave him fre. to. marry one of my rlvala.
But now well now It Is different. Society
will have Borne fun when It learns the1 name
of the co-respondent. I fancy."
There was no semblance of grief In the
face of "the Injured wife. - Her red lips had
hardened. and her eyea sparkled with
gleeful malice as sba surveyed her caller.
The latter had piled visibly, and now, aa
she rose to take her., leave. It waa with a
nervouaneMu quite- foreign to her usual
graceful repose. ...
Both -women were called beautiful, but
Amy Haworth's regular features had none
of the rharm that mn found In the dark,
omewhat uieuncho)y face . of Natalia
Beverley. -.. -.... .
In figure both were of that type slender
to. attenuation .which the modern fashion
able woman spends half her life trying to
attain or to preserve. , s . .
VHjunel". ordtrvd Mrs. Beverley to her
ooachnian. but . as she was driven down
the avenue he roulJ .not-have told ta
were. th Iwwa and wiil'.cs which she me
chanically jetucnd.
In, her ynlnd there waa room for but one
thought. -Over and pvtr again her pale Hps
muttered, "hhe know! ,li knows!"
Midnight found her still pacing her room.
How veuki ahe ever ,fac the manclal that
awaited .her? she, tl widow of a dis
tinguished Judtfe she,- who until now had
alas Uetn beyond -the reach of gossip.
8ha knew Amy llawurth: knew how she
would gloat over the humiliation of her
rival. .-1 What she could not fathom was
Amy's readiness to do now what she had
deollnd tv tlo in the puttt. leave Ocoftrey
ree to many another. Mie recalled the
air of triumph- wun-h Amy had worn as
fche Imparled her determlimtion. There
waa something laiik of It all. but ittl?
Ild Amy ii(umi . thkl tJcoffrey. once
free, wuld not care to ark the blchslng of
tha church 'of his union with his latest
.' . aOtresOME.
-'How jjj the enow ro on me
"An awful frostf In one town
hoy in the gallery wen ted hia
money bck. because he was afraid
to etay up there alonel
ill)
f !cfZ 1 1 1
VHAJ SIE, IS YWP, CRITICISM Of TWt "
BVTTtJi AVD EGOS ? AfKtD KABY.
has got to go! Mary." he- called, "when
the Butter and Eggs Man comes today, tell
htm he's fired!"
"What, sir." asked Mary.- with a sus
picious softness as she set the "scones"
on the table. "What Is the matter wit it
the butter and eggs?"
"The butter is rancid and the eggs are
stale!" replied the Tost Graduate Hus
band, despite a warning glance, followed
hv a kick under the table from His Wife.
And at the words Mary, the scornful
man hater Mary the Jester at love's
wounds, melted to mad teara.
"Ile'a all the company I have! If he
goea. I go!" she Bobbed, and rushed from
the room.
The Amateur Wife, with a scornful
glance at Her abashed Husband, followed
to the pantry-, end for want of any tangi
ble form of consolation began to pat
Mary's back as If she had ewallowed an
orange pit.
"Don't cry, Mary!" she said. "It's all
nonsense about the'Rutte'r and Eggs Man!
He can come as long as you want him,
Mary! You can take more eggs a week If
you want to. and we'll have more desserts,
Just to use them up."
Mary's sobbing had grown leas violent
and at that moment the Post Graduate
Husband, an humbled and much wiser
man, appeared In the doorway.
"Cut It out, Mary I was only foollng."
he explained. "Here's a couple of cigars
for the Butter and Eggs Man."
Then, as the consoled Handmaiden re
treated down the basement stall's, he
turned to His Wife:
"Never mind," he Bald with, determina
tion, "I'll bring some good butter and eggs
from .town tomorrow." '
(Copyright, 1911. Kby the N. T. Herald Co.)
Two Floors'
love 7 And waa she countmg on ..that to
bring Natalia's prlda still lower? Well,
aftd what would Geoffrey want?;
It waa the first, time that there had .oc
curred to Mrs; Beverley any .doubt aa to
his loyalty. She knew, as did all the world;
of his numerous affairs in the . past, but,
after the manner of women, she had . be
lieved Implicitly his assurances that those
were trivial experiences compaV-ed to hi
feeling for her. He had frequently declared
that to her. he could not help being faithful,
and It was her proud belief that she alone
had the power to hold him.
But In that moment her confidence was
shaken. Did the attraction which her
poetical temperament possessed for his
sensual nature really constitute ao strong a
bond as she allowed herself to think?
The doubt was startling enough to divert
her mind for the moment from her other
great fear? If he proved Indifferent over
the effect upon herself of Amy'B ault, that
would he the crowning blow, but, of course,
she could count upon him, and Amy Ha
worth'a revenge would be robbed of at least
a part of Its sting.
As for the scandal of It, well nowadays
It was not even necessary to attempt to live
down such things; they were forgotten be
fore one had the chance to try.
But In the cold light of morning her mood
changed. There rushed over her afresh all
the horrible vulgarity of the thing. Her
picture In the papers, along with Ills' and
Amy's. Extracts from her letters to him
perhaps. It was too hldeoua to endure.
etna must make her escape. But might' It
not already be too lute? Why even today
it might all come out.
She glanced apprehensively at the pile of
morning papers which her maid brought In
wlih a cup of coffee and left by her bed
side. On top lay the "yellowest of the lot. and
she snatched It up. No need to search .
There wa the familiar name In enormous
letters htaring at her from the front page. '
Her eyes closed dizzily, but .even when
they were well open again It took her some
j time to take In the whole meaning of what
she saw :
j "His wife too thin for iilm! Geoffrey
llaworth, piumlnem society man, aued for
I divorce! Plump. rosy-cheeKed Irish cham-
ueimaiu natnvu a co-respondent I And It
Is icported that, far from being abashed,
the Joliy clubman declares that he la tired
of all the scraggy, bony wumcn of society !"
Alice de Carret In The Story Book.
Klucldullua tbe Law.
The magistrate looked sternly over the
gold-rimmed glasses at the puny. Individual
In the dock.
"You are charged," he remarked, reading
the formal complaint, "with having wil
fully. felonioiiHly and with malice afore
thought appropriated to your own uae and
behoof a certain article, towlt: A one
wheeled vehicle, rwmmnnly called a wheel
barrow, the said vehicle having been
wrongfully and feloniously abstracted by
you from the premtsea of one, John Smith,
carpenter, on September 18, Anno lKminl,
roiifary to the statute in such casea made
aul iiovided. and against the peace and
diguily of this great realm. What have
you to aay? Are you guilty or not guilty?"
The prisoner's face assumed a pea-green
hue. his knees trembled and he stammered
forth:
".Not guilty, guv'nor. All I done
steal a bartow." Tit-Hits.
was to
r Klae.
Isaac's hous was for sale, and he told
hla friend At. ram about an offer he had
had
"Samuel Ivinskl saldl he vould gif ina
five t'ousand dollars vor Idt."
"Huh!" Abram grunted scornfully. "He
aindt got fife dollars to hla name he
candt buy idt." - ,
"Veil, I kaow he nandt. But idt vas a
mighty fine off", " Llpplncott a.
f 7 VWILI THINK AHHH- uvviHrC VAl
1 V am wot vLJ Lr r I
, r coming, roc r A ,iJ t f i I
CA7CH.NC VA ff P. X M.
fSxWi fe.'
fATnir Vft-fV! ' fHQ' 1 HAVE) I fHUH l T-MTnIxFS
AGAIN! .W,Rfe $lltl2rl?r TIME;MY GIRL MAKff
JVa OH! I'M LhAO OFF! ) AT ONE OF Hfri
.7 7S', RAW BITS I W.LLJ
tte TOji 4
U - z-f - " VI
Rials of Angelica1
Beastly .of- Johnnie to get 111 Just before
Edfth Gayl6ra'a dinner dariee.' T can' always
count pn hlin for a lot of dances, and can
be very Informal, and throw him .over it
any one' else comes along that I prefer.
There are some advantages In ' having
known a person since you were six months
old. The only time ft didn't Work waa
when I : wanted "to dance with that French
count.- ,'
He said, "Oh. Gellie, would you throw
me over for tha.t?" He was so nice about
Tt, : though, .that I; threw my arms around
his neck and kissed his coat collar. But
I sea you cannot be too grateful to young
men. He Immediately Insisted that l give
"MY NEW BLACK HAT."
him that dance, and when I wouldn't, got
dreadfully disagreeable, and we almost
had a fight. I said I'd never kiss his coat
collar again, and he aaid he'd rather I
didn't kiss his collar, anyway. I got mad
der and madder, and wished I could think
j of something to aay that would absolutely
pulverize him something that would be
very cutting and end the whole discussion.
Cousin Anne, who Is near-sighted, mis
took Melville Thomas for a waiter the
other du'y and called him "my good man."
It was fearfully tactless of her, and he
looked awfully dashed. She ought to wear
glasses all the time. She said afterward
that she had aeen him perfectly, but nat
urally had thought that If he was at the
de Buysters It must be In the capacity of a
waiter. He's so nice and Jolly, too. I
think she mut be a little snobbish. Any
way, 1 looked haughtily at Johnnie and
said. "My good man. It gives me no pleas
ure to klBs your coat collar!"
There la no use in my trying to be dignl-
HAD HIM THERE.
"The tips your brother gives ma
axe alwayi wrong."
Then why don't you play there
th other way?" -
JfS
1 p
fled; The first thing I kp1" he fas chaa- j
Ing me around the fountain; . It was very
exciting. We knocked cdwn a lot of
flower pots, and a couple, .who had been
Bitting in a corner got a .big one right on
top of them. I believe' 'waa Piggy and
Agnes. ' 1 .'
We did have a chaae, and Just as. I was
getting exhausted, the Count- appeared and
said: "A charming picture, mademoiselle,
and nearly caught, . were yeu not?" . He
did look horrid, and I wished he waa any
where else. I said: "Yes Why did you
Interrupt? I am sorry th4e. dance is en
gaged." He said: "Evidently," and walked
off.
Johnnie was putting his gloves on, and
I began to Boston by myself. We could
hear the music, and we danced in the
conservatory, and It was. lovely. Then we
sat on the edge of the fountain, and he
told me he thought I waa so attractive, and
nearly fell In. I told him J thought he Was
the nicest man I knew, and I nearly fell In
f
A Lonely Ex-Empress
J
The death within a tew daa of each
other of Mine. Bartholonl and the Baroness
Alphonse de Rothschild In Paris recalls
the famous "Dinner of Twenty Beauties,"
in which both ladles took part.
The dinner waa offered to the Emperor
Napoleon III by the Empress Eugenie In
fulfilment of a lost wager, and the in
vitations were to the most beautiful women
in the French court. It was a cosmopolitan
company Mme. Bartholonl and the Mare-
chale t'anrobert, both Scotswomen; Mme.
de Galllfet, who was English; Princess
Anna Murat, an American; ten French
women, two Russians, one . Italian, one
Hungarian, a Creole, a Jewess (the late
Baroness Rothschild) and the empress her
self, a Spaniard.
Now, on the death oftbe two ladles In
Paris last .week, the Empress Eugenie re
mains the sole survivor - of that famous
dinner.
r
Daily Health Hint
J
It Is wise to drink a cupfut of very hot
water, freshly boiled, every morning upon
arising. This makes an Internal bath and
Is as useful as the dally external bath.
ARTFUL.
But why did she marry her
husband's brother?".
"So as to have but one mother
la-law."
A' 'life
ATI
UUfT-OBTfjlBL!
H waa the best dance I've been to, and
the Gaylords" would have been loads oi
fun. They have a conservatory, too, and a
fountain to nearly fall In.
I called Johnnie up last night and asked
him how he was, and said what a pity la
waa too sick to go. I said the house was
so attractive A perfect ballroom, and such
a beautiful conservatory. I said I had
noticed he was interested In botany lately,
and there was such a marvellous oppor
tunity to atudy plants there. He said he
waa going, and that nothing would keep
him at home.
It's so nice to have one or two people at
a dance who will be the same all the even-
"JOHNNIE 18 ALWAYS THE SAME.
Ing. I have noticed that so many men
who are attractive at 10 o'clock become
most unattractive at 2, and then a great
many who are extremely unattractive at
10 o'clock appear very attractive at 2.
But Johnnie Is always the same, and
supper doesn't make any difference in htm
I mean outside him. He Is always so sin
cere, too, and tells me when he doesn't
like my clothes and when he really thinks
I look well. I do hope he Is not becoming
Insincere.
Lately, he has only tola me very com
pllmentary thlngH, and when
I Waa going
out the other day In my new black hat.
I was obliged to tell him that I hated com
pliments and that I'd like It much mora If
he would say something I didn't like. I
got frightfully mixed up and he said I
had lovely eyes. I aid coldly that he
might have done what 1 asked him to, and
the Idiot said he hud. He's very silly, but
you can't help liking him.
"Wiry don't you get married?"
"It would destroy my mean of
livelihood. I write love storiea lor
tnaguineV
WAY OF
We Celebrate
mm
TUESRAY,
January 31, 1911.
Name and A!lroiH.
Abert Anderson, 2806 North Twpnty-sixth
Louis Abranison, 2316 North Twenty-seventh
rauline Pritton, 2232 South Sixth St
Alfred Horrhmnn, 1718 North Thirty-third
Neva Burge, 917 North Twenty-second
Robert Blaekmore. 3704 North Twentieth St
Frederick Berquist. 1301 South Twenty-fifth Av.
Luclle Cli7.be. California Hotel
Vera M. Collins, 4214 Nlcholns St
Louis l)Rhm, 1441 South Elfihteenth St
Frank Davis, 4429 Jackson St Columbian . ; . 1 S I 7
Harry J. Fisher, 3171 Orand Ave.. Monmouth Park. .,190,-.
Ralph Fair. 4719 Parker St Walnut Hill . . v. . 1 s t
10 Flynn, lfi56 North Nineteenth St Kellotn . .1S95
Francis Galliasn. 1608 North Twenty-fourth St Long 1S9S
Eva La Greco, 2205 Fierce St , Mason .1002
Jonas U. HolniRren, 2826 Cass tt ' Webster 1S97
Lillian Henrickson, 3032 California St Webster ,189.".
I'aul A. Hungate. 2619 North Twentieth St Lake ..1S99
John Herman. 1310 North Twenty-fourth St Kellotn .1903
Edward C. Irvln, 2715 Ohio St .' Howard Kennedy . .1 89' S
Maria Joreenson. Seventh and Boulevard Bancroft ,1903
Eva LlndRulst, 4 604 Cass St
Helen M. Michalek, 1931 South Twenty
Violet Moline, 3318 Emmet St
Edward Moore, 1511 Locust St...;
Harry Nelson, 3117 Taylor St
Roy W. Peterson. 3408 Sahler St
Inez Poole. 1126 North Seventeenth St Cass 1905
Naoma Prlday, 3515 Davenport St Saunders ...1897
Emma Tetters, 1701 Leavenworth St Leavenworth .....1900
May Petty. 4617 North Twenty-second St Saratoga ........1903
Victor Pkerbloom, 4636 Izard St Walnut Hill.,;. ... 1900
Florence Rlese, 1503 South Twenty-eighth St Tark ...1899
Ulle Rice, 3620 Grand Ave MoamoutU Park . ..1902
Edna Rohrs, 2112 Locust St Lothrop 1897
Bella Rosenthat, 841 South Twenty-first St Leavenworth 1903
Gertrude Reldy. 4148 Ersktne St
Francis M. Sullivan, 2846 Blnney St
Walter Spellman, 811 South Twenty-second St. ..
Raymond L. Smith, 5320 North Twenty-ninth St.
Anna Stock, 3017 South Sixteenth St
Edson Smith, 1840 North Eighteenth St
May Thompson, 2011 Clark St Kellom 1900
Hllbert Tlerney, 212 4 Burdette St Lake 1899
Mamie Vldlak, 2318 South Twenty-seventh St ..Dupont 1902
Delia Vessendall, 2511 Krug Ave Vinton ,....1901
Ruth Weaver. 5624 North Twenty-eighth St Miller Park 1903
Margaret Woodward, 2565 Manderson
Willie Winquist, 2116 North Twenty-seventh
Annie Wardian, 1024 North Twenty-seventh
Nellie White, 310 Bancroft St
Samuel Zimmerman, 3117 South Nineteenth St German Lutheran. 1903
, - Such is Life J
Life Is what enables tha baby to kick his
feet -about In infancy, 'and what he kicks
most about during his- adult days.
Generally life begins with a squall, and
It often continues equally to the end.
There are four modes of life: bachelor
hood, a fast life; splnsterhood, a slow life;
matrimonial life, which Is suspended ani
mation; and the Reno electric life, a spicy
variety composed of alternating currents
of the married and single kinds.
The butterfly life Is the gay one, but it
la too short; the tortoise life Is longer.
but It Is too alow; and If you try to strike
a safe and sane gait In the middle of the
road, you get run over by soma joy rider
going the pace that kills such as you.
Life is the most necessary thing In the
world you simply cannot live without It.
It Is as uncertain and difficult to control
as dynamite or a woman. Too much life
will land you In Jail, , and too little In a
coffin.
High life is dangerous, as one's aero
plane may have, a "brainstorm" at any
minute or altitude; and there Is no longer
much enjoyment In low life on account of
the settlement worker and slumming par
ties. Apparently tha only escape from
burgeola dullness is to marry as often as
possible; and there Is always danger of
falling In love with your wife and settling
down to a duckpund placidity.
If you are lacking In life, you are termed
a "dead one"; it endowed with real life
and ginger, you are dubbed "too fresh."
Verily, life la a picture puszle, and there
are always too many pieces or not quite
enough. Smart Set.
Ministers have so many things to worry
about that It Is pretty hard to add the
bargain-hunting habits of their parishioners
meir oilier cairn, oui iuiiid ui mciu m.1 c
aoomea to snouiuer mm e&u uurueii. om
members of the congregation are not likely
to go out hunting cut-tate pews In other
churches, but newcomers who are Just de
ciding upon a church home all do it.
"A reduction of I- a year In pew rent
will fetch the barguin hunter every time,"
said a New York sexton. "O'lly lam week
an up-state woman who expects to make
her home in New York concluded that of
all city churches of this denomination she
liked ours best and would take a pew here,
but when she found she could get a pew
tr.at suited her about as well in auo'.her
church for t3 a year leaa she let all other
considerations go by the board and iden
tified herself with that church. The cut-
rate pew hunter is a recognized feature of
modem church life here. Because a new
member elects to Join our congregation
does not at all signify that he shares our
religious convictions or likes the pastor
and our service; it may mean that we
charge less for the pew he likes than an
other church up street." New York tiun.
The I mrm nt Dull,
It Is interesting to note that the part dust
plays in making the sky blue Is only one
of tha services It renders us while It la
floating far above us. In the upper air it
adds much to our comforts and pleasures,
unpleasant and unwholesome aa It la at
closer range. The moisture In the air con
denses on particles of dust; but for dUKi
there would be no visible clouds to beautify
the sky and to warn us of approaching
rain; there would be no twilight, and the
moisture that is now suspended In clouds
would keep our clothing and the Interior
of our house aa damp as If e lived In
perpetual fog.
If V
1 1 Bargains in Pews m j
I J
lira
S(1ihI. Mr.
St Howard Kc-nncU.v . .1 Sft
St .... Howard Kennoily
190t
1906
1SP1
1900
1S9S
lS9Hf
Traiu
St...
St
Krnnklln
Kellom .
l.othrop ....;.
l'ark .V
11 igli '1S95
Walnut Hill
. .1002
. ..1900
St. Joseph '. .
- ninth St.
. Saumlors
. Dupont
.Howard Kennr-dy;
. Sacred Heart. . . .
1896
1897
1905
1900
1902
1895
Monmouth Fnrk
High
.Clifton Hill .1903
.Howard Kennedy ..1897
. Mason .1900
.Miller Park;,. 1905
.St. Joseph 1903
.Lake ,;1905
St Lothrop 1897
Ave. . . Ixing ......... .w 1899
St St. Joseph. ..... .1898.
Bancroft ........ 1904
r
D.
Cutting Expenses
Paternalism with a vengeance is prac
ticed In certain Philadelphia groceries. It
is benevolent paternalism though.,
"Ma wants two pounds of sugar,'' said
a child to a patriarch In the trade.
He consulted a calendar on the wall.
"I gueis you'd better take pnly a pound
today," be said, "and go kind of Blow on
that. The week Is only half gone, but you
have already eaten up three-fourths of
your allowance. Tell your mother so."
The child promised to deliver the report
on financial depression. t '
"That is the only way on earth to keep
those people from running Into debt," said
the grocer. "The system . Is conimon In
this neighborhood. I do it at the custom
ers' request. Every pay day women with
spendthrift husbands and an extravagant
deposition of their own deposit ..enough
money with the grocer and butcher to see
the family through the week. They In
struct us to let no one overdraw the
amount and except In cases where extra
food Is actually needed we stick ' to our
end of the bargain." Philadelphia Ledger.
r
Plenty of Water
J
The Taclflu ocean covers BS,000,000 miles,
the Atlantic 3U,0UO,OuO and the Indian, Arc
tic and Antarctic 42,uOO.OOO. To stow away
tha contents of the , Pacific It would be
necessary to fill a tank one ntle long, one
mile wide and one mile deep every day
for 440 years. I'ut In figures the I'aclflu
holds In weight 4t.0M.000,Ou0,U00.0U0.000 tons.
The Atlantic averages a depth of not
quite three miles. Its water weighs 325,
(XW.OiiO.OOU.oyo.OOO.ooi) tons, and a tank to con
tain it would have each of Its sides 4.10
miles long. The. figures of the other oceans
are In the same sturtling proportions. It
would take all the sea water In the world
K.OUO.uOO jeurs to flow over Niagara.
Klue Weather Nulflilra.
The Hladxtlcs of suicides show that al
most everywhere the tuoKt agrutuble uud
beautiful months. May and June, are those
during which self-destruction Is common
est; apparently because the working day is
llien longe.Mt, and fatigue then most likely
to result In despondency. Yel among idle
males the rale is twice as great as among
occupied males; HO ovejwork seems less
likely than Inefficient work to excite the
sultidul Impulse.
TOO BAD
That man me out of a mil
lion dollars!
"Oh,Billie! But how?"
'Refu&ed to let me marry bla
daughter
