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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1909)
TIIIO HKK: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1900. The UMAiu Daily Bee rorNorco nr eowaru iiobkwater. VICTOR ROBE WATER, EDITOR. Entered at Omiht postorflc as eond ei matter TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, rally Bea (without Sunday), ona yaar..$400 lally ) and Sunday, one year W IiKLlVKKEI) RY CARRIER. Ially Re (Includln Sunday), per week. .16c Ially Ue (without Sunday), par week. .10c Evening Be (without Sunday), per week c Evening H (with Sunday), per weak.. .Wo Sur.day Bee, on a year IJ-W Saturday Bee, one year Addreaa all complalnla of Irregularities In delivery to City .Circulation Department. OFFICES. Omnha-rTha Bee riulldtna;. South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluff 15 Scott Street. : Llnooln o!8 Uttle Hulldlne;. Chicago IHH Marquette Hulldln. New York-Rooms 1101-1101 No. M wait Thirty-third street. Waahlnaton 72& Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Communications relating to new and edi torial matter ahould be addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, aa.: George B. Tcochuck. treasurer of The Bee Publishing Company, being duly sworn says that the actual number of full and complete copies of The Dally. Morning. Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of November. 1909, waa Aa followa: 1 t t , 4 42.070 II 41,030 43.000 17 43,160 48,700 II 4X.H00 49,150 It 41,390 1 43,460 42,170 1 40,040 20 4190 jl 40,340 ti 4i,eo j J 41,790 14 41.7M 5 41,700 I 43,940 I ....... 10...... . . . . 41.S30 . . . . 42,160 . . . . 4130 11 41,780 11 , 49,860 27 41,610 11 41,730 14 40,100 16 41,800 l 40,400 29.... 41,650 0 41,990 Total , 1,959,850 Returned Copies........ fe48 Net Total'..... 1,943,005 Daily Average 41,766 GEO. B. TZ3CHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my preaence and aworn to before me thla let day of December, (Seal) M. P. WAUCKR, Notary Public Sabserlbera leaving; the oltf tem porarlly aboald kT The Be mailed to them. Addreaa will be ehaaceal mm often aa requested. But the frisky 'Frluco won't getber lose night of Katy. alto- Mr. Shotwell'sv letter seems to have stirred up tho court to resentment, at least. ' '- ' V " . " ' V ' To bo strictly to date, the New Year water wagon devotees should speak of It as' tile aquaplane. The Council Bluffs city council hare decided not to give up their street car passes. Old habits die hard. , . Now that army officers are forbidden to buy- oil of the Standard, that old of fender may begin to realize that gov .ernmervt opposition Is no light matter. , ' The American millionaire who has been bound In Morocco because of his atrocious practical Jokes evidently con siders himself the edition de luxe of Joe Miller's Jeet book. That New York lawyer who pleaded In court that his client was a "gullible fool" Is not the first of the profession to find himself In that fix. He is merely the first to openly admit It. The cashiering of an army officer for petty robberies of the West Point mess after a distinguished career In the .service., in the far east indicates that If a man has a yellow streak It la bound to crop out. The Incompetence of the local dem ocratic ' administration was never so well exemplified as in the condition of the . downtown streets at present. "Hobs'' Tom Flynu la surely making a record on how not to do It. r If the threat to send the price of broomtrcorn to fl apiece is fulfilled, the manufacturers will find that the broom corn crop is not half so short as father, and that mother will be lib erally ' excused from the sweeping habit,,' Those enthusiastic Georgians who were wildly' chasing every man with a black skin a day or two ago have sub sided very potlceably since It was dis covered that the crime was committed by a white man. Does color make any difference? The robber who admits having held up the cashier of a lunch stand and four other similar crimes apparently is eager to land In the penitentiary, and the wheels of justice should be greased a little la order to help him realize his ambition. Senator Rayner's Impassioned out burst against Zelaya attests the fact that ,Joan of Aro was tame compared with our vn Maryland when that girl gets her fighting blood up. The south evidently would give the Nlcaraguan roaieiactor snort snrut ir ne were wltUn her borders. t Mrs.. Margaret Deland argues that the divorce evil Is the result of Indi viduals seeking to be happy at the ex pense of society and she denies them the right. In her plea for the perma nence of the family she has stirred up a discussion which promises for awhile to crowd the suffragettes out of the limelight. Omaha, perhaps, ought to have street signs, but the proposition of stenciling trt names on telephone and electric light poles that happen to ho aljacrr.t to the thoroughfare designate-! eras to have about reached the limit of absurdity. If street signs are really necessary the city ought to pro vide for them In the proper way. Extension of Civil Service. president Taft's recent order Includ ing the diplomatic .appointments within the province of civil service Is a timely exemplification of Dr. Eliot's point In his annual address as presi dent of the National Civil Service Re form league, that the extensions of the classified service hare proceeded from the executive rather than from con gress. Dr. Eliot makes the significant comment: "It will be an Interesting and some what unexpected development In the working of the constitution If the pres ident, elected by the whole people, turns out to be ft better Interpreter of the people's wishes and purposes In an ethical and economic reform than the members of the two legislative bodies elected by states or by districts." The reason for this congressional latlty as compared with executive vig ilance Is probably traceable to' the fact that generations of congressmen were so long closely related to the spoils system, a system which. Dr. Eliot re ports, now Is covertly manipulated by the bosses, the machine politicians and their tools. The successful operation of civil service in many governmental depart ments has enormously advanced faith In the republic among thinking people. As Dr. Eliot remarks, the public now thinks of government service, "not as a charity, or as affording a livelihood for Incompetents, or as a means of pay ing and feeding the henchmen of politi cal leaders, but aa a great business or ganization for doing efficiently and honestly large pieces of business which the people want to have well done." Extension of the service Is now pos sible through executive order, In na tional affairs, but Dr. Eliot and his as sociates would carry it further, to in clude municipal matters. Particularly strong Is his feeling that a merit sys tem is necessary to "reform the ex traordinarily unjust and ineffectual methods of taxation," which he con siders "injurious to the national In dustries." He would have assessors and other officials concerned with tax ation selected and retained for their knowledge of productive tax adminis tration. The same Idea he would carry Into all municipal matters, In order to put American city governments on a business basis. -"It is only In this way," he argues,, "that tho civil serv ice In American communities can be brought to the condition of a lite ca reer Which well-qualified young men can enter with the intention of devot ing themselves to it for life." This turning of the league from na tional to municipal agalrs manifests a determination to conquer more worlds, and while cities will hot be ready to welcome the Interference of Dr. Eliot and his fellow advisers, it is manifest that there is life In the old league yet and that civil service reform is not content to rest on Its record of achieve ment. ' ' Being a Good Neighbor. While Central American jingoes are seeking to make aggressive capital against the United States out of our attitude towards Zelaya, let the peo pie of those republics be not deceived, but instead turn to the evidence of how excellent a nelghhpr we are to any well-intentioned country In need of our good offices, as given in the report of the Dominican customs receivership. Under the beneficent administration of the United States bureau of Insular affairs, the Dominican revenues have been put on a business basis, the pay ing of Installments upon the debt to this country has been regularly accom plished without any burden to the peo ple and for two years .the affairs of that country have . known . unaccus tomed stability and prosperity. . So gratifying Is the American ad ministration to the Dominicans that the receivership has been solicited to revise the entire fiscal and tariff sys tem of the republic, and under United States guidance a measure has been perfected that promises to remove op pressive features of existing laws, while at the same time providing ade quate revenues. Central American observers are invited to study the re sults In the marked Increase of trade and higher standard of living designed by this neighborly national receiver ship. A Menace Within the Navy. Whatever, of sectionalism still lives in this country is customarily mani fested by the east against the west, and In view of the facta of the case the westerner cannot but conclude that the recent criticisms against the1 battle ship Nebraska are Inspired by eastern animus. On the Atlantic the vessel, has been consistently regarded as an Intruder, because, forsooth, It Is not the product of the jealous eastern yards. Its record was a clean one in Paciflo waters, where It exceeded Us contract speed despite the fact that it had Inferior fuel instead of the picked coal used in Atlantic tests, it was a prize winner in maneuvers and target work and won admiration all along the line in Its trip around the world. Sea soned officers said they never had known a finer vessel, or more thor oughly enjoyed life or witnessed more harmonious and effective discipline than on this model product of the Puget sound. ' - - Yet what happens when ' the Ne braska Is assigned to the Atlantic fleet. It fell, atrangely, from high to low grade In the matter of target prac tice, and Lieutenant Mac?, ordnance officer, openly accused officials of put ting up a job. Macy was court martialed and acquitted. In justice his charges should then hare been fol lowed up; Instead he was transferred to recruiting work Inland and appar- ently, no effort was made to Improve the order of things aboard tho war ship. Now the same naval officials who sidetracked the man who dared to speak up are In control of the Investi gation of the collision between the Ne braska and the Georgia. Advance Judgment In the east fastened the blame upon the Nebraska, and It was proclaimed as a "hoodoo" ship. The Nebraska represents an InveaCment of millions of the people's money. 'It was accepted by the government after the moat rigid tests, more severe, Indeed, than are customarily applied to the products of the Atlantic seaboard. It has demonstrated Its capabilities In the Pacific. The campaign against it in other waters looks very like discrim ination and la worthy of the attention of the head of the Navy department. It Is high time to rid the service of any such antagonism. A fleet divided against itself is in peril from a foe more insidious than foreign guns. Street Railway Service. The report of the city council com mittee Indefinitely postponing the ordi nance to reduce fares In Omaha will not be a serious disappointment to the public. It Is probably true that some reformation In local street railway service Is required, but at present the more urgent needs of the public are not summed up with the demand for cheaper rides. The Omaha Street Railway company gives rides of much longer length for 5 cents than any steam road would possibly do, and with the transfer system in vogue this feature of its service is not to be seri ously complained of. It Is true that a few other cities furnish street rail way transportation at a lower cost to the public than does Omaha, but it will be found upon Inquiry that conditions In those cities are very much different from those prevailing here. The ele ments that enter Into the problem there are all in favor of the lower fare proposition. In Omaha a great many things in connection with the street railway service might be improved be fore the fare is reduced. The needed improvements can only be had through the company's prosperity, and to cur tall Its gross income by the reduction of fare Is certain to postpone the bet terments. If the city council will de vote its control over the street railway service to the matter of securing more trains on the lines, especially at the rush hours, so that the public will not be subjected to the terrific packing that now prevails, arid some similar reforms, it will accomplish much bet ter results than by wasting Its time on the reduced fare proposition. Personal Eights in Photography. The elminatlon of President Taft from a moving picture would not be a matter of comment If the public had not become so accustomed to the mod em -habit of photography, a habit which has become so general as to de generate into a nuisance. Newspapers are in a measure to blame for this, for the Indlscrimlnatlng ones miss no op portunlty to smother their pages with nauseating repetitions . of familiar faces. Thus, when the president comes to town, we have pictures of the presl dent getting off the car, into his car riage, bowing from the carriage, tak ing his hat off, putting it on, smiling, smiling more, looking at the mayor, looking away from the mayor, speak Ing, keeping still and so on through all the delsarte attitudes for repose, remorse, happiness, grief, , anguish, laughter and sublimity. Truly, we have all gotten Into the way of surfeit ing ourselves with films, till we are in danger of blunting our fine sense of the niceties. Secretary Wilson's order can in no wise be construed as a censorship. Rather it is the assertion of a personal right and an official propriety. Mr Taft's friends were within the preroga tives in preventing a moving picture from being exploited about his per sonality, and made the subject for familiar comment, if not for jest, In a mixed assemblage. We should all re member that there is a dignity and even a eacredness attaching to the office of president of the United States; the cancellation of the presidential photograph was a proper tribute to that high functionary. In other countries royalty goes fur ther and commands with a high hand In England a short time ago some one snapped King Edward in a group into which a notorious actress had ob truded. From the negative the figure of the actress at once was blacked out, so that the shop windows were filled with prints showing a mysterloua shadow, distinct, but unrecognizable From this Incident has grown a sin gular fad, and now the country Is flooded with all sorts of group photo graphs of notables with one Individual dimmed Into a ghost. Thus a regal whim has been cultivated Into a pecu liar pastime, and out of it has grown a substitution for the word photograph of the slang nomenclature, "Guess Who?" When Robert Louis Stevenson de scribed the conditions of life in the steerage between Europe and America, people of thla country viewed his dis closures as containing the bias of Britisher and the exaggeration of writer of romance. But what shall they say to tho revelations of the offi cial agents of the government who have filed their reports In Washington de scribing shameful conditions as they experienced them while traveling in the guise of emigrants? It la manifest that some of the transatlantic lines are still' treating not only men but aluo helpless women as so many cattle and that the barbarities of steerage life are in some respects verily unspeaka ble. Inasmuch as It Is apparent that the offending lines will not reform ex cept under compulsion, It Is high time that we enacted legislation forcing the recalcitrants to bring their steerage accommodations for and treatment of emigrants up to a standard of cleanli ness and decency. The two extremes of personal and social endeavor met In New York when the president, devoted to Idrals In ad ministering the duties of the highest office in the land, met and talked with the habitues of a Bowery mission, where the lowliest had gathered to manifest their sincere desire toward uplifting themselves and neighbors from discouraging conditions. The president's simple, straightforward homily must have stirred all the man hood In the breasts of his listeners to a renewed sense of their obligations In life. .It was the heartfelt speech of a man talking on the level to his fellow beings. The public may consider itself just ifiable In promptly wanting to know how a rear-end collision Is possible on a railroad pretending to be flrst-claes and operating under a block signal system. Is the wreck of a New York flyer another case of deliberately run ning past signals to maintain schedule? American, railroads have yet to learn well- the lessons of safety first and speed afterward. The Interstate Commerce commis sion has made an order concerning the fare between Omaha and Council Bluffs which will stop what has generally been considered an Imposition. After February It will be possible to ride from any point in Omaha to any point in Council Bluffs for one fare plus the 5 cents bridge toll. Now, if the bridge toll could be wiped out! Prof. Parker . of Harvard, who evolves the theory that woman Is less sensitive than man, and that the dainti est woman has no more emotional sense, in the purely scientific view, than her pet cat or dog, can count on having stirred up the liveliest animal, not In the whole menagerie, but In man's menage. Profeaaoraf Sore I Charleston News and Courier. A Nebraska oourt has decided that barbers are not common laborers," but are professional men. ui. courno, cydijt one of them has a chair. Joy of the Mlxap. Chicago Tribune. "The question promptly arises," says the Omaha Bee, "what Is the knead for a bankers' combiner' The answer suggests Itself with equal promptness: "Dough." Good Conduct. Abroad. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Good Americans abroad should so con duct themselves that they can at anv moment rely "upon Uncle Sam's prompt Interference lii' their behalf when trouble clouds the hdrlion. 1 ' Consolation for Pessimists, , Washington Herald. Cheer up!, What if breakfast bacon Is five times aa high In price aa It was ten years ago? Does not the accommodating and kind-hearted grocer throw In the rind nowadays at exactly the same price as the meat? Who Sprunar'the Rivets! New York Sun. It Is said that the effect of the collision forty miles off the south Atlantic coast be tween the battleships Georgia and Ne braska "was not serious, only a few rivets being sprung." It was serious enough, however, to warrant a thorough investiga tion to determine In whose seamanship some rivets were sprung. There is plenty of room In the aouth Atlantic. COMING INTO FAVOR. Spread of the Taxation Policies Henry Georsre. of Springfield Republican. It Is a pity Henry George could not have lived to see fills day of rapidly widening recognition 9? the soundness of hla land taxation views." That the land monopllst should at least share the unearned Incre ment with the community which creates It la a proposltlpn' now coming Into general acceptance Iff Germany and Great Brit ain and Into a larse degree of favorable recognition In the United States. Thus at a conservation conference recently held at St. Paul "YQun's Jim" Hill of the Great Noithern railroad urged the higher taxa tion of lands held out ot usa as a whole some measure. The Great Northern com pany possesses tueh lands which It will sell to bona fide settlers on almost any terms, but to speculators on no terms. Still he advlBed tax discriminations against Idle lands. The Chicaeo Public, an advocate of the George doctrines, regards this as little short of sensatloi al, considering Its source. PERSONAL NOTES. A Chinaman has won the Ten Eyck junior prize at Yale. Yellow and blue la the color scheme of a starry flight, with yellow for the stars. Tho aubscriptlons for the portrait of Orover Cleveland, to be placed In the executive chamber at Albany have jow reached the sufficient amount of f 1,200. A. 8. Colllnston of Wentweod. N. Y., took an automobile trip In hla $l,!no m.v chine and after he had collided with a truck sold the outfl1. for 10 because he I A Gotham policeman knocked a man's Jaw Into place by clublng his chin. Atford peopc a ch0lce of two services of there are many other Jaws out of order, this newly discovered chin treatment aeema timely and advisable. The Clarkscn family of Potsdam, N. Y., has solved the servant girl problem at least once. Mary Ann Tecs who died the other day at the a'o of SO, had been servant In the family for slxty-fmir years and had saved $10,000 from her wagoa. Dr. Koch, the bactorlologlat, has reported the successful experiments made with cnts for the eradication ot rata in plaguo-ln-fected and plague-menaced harbors of China. In Hongkong orders have been is sued providing for the maintenance of one rat in every house. In handing to the kaiser, In person, the gold medal of the Hudson-Fulton celebra tion. General Stewart L. Woodford of New York, will extend to his majesty the as surances of our most distinguished con sideration and incidentally demonstrate that he himself is only 74 years young and qualified for a great variety of ceremonial mlsslona. Arourtd New York klpplas en the Current of 1.1 fe a Been la the Oreat mertoaa Metropolis from Say to Day. An Impressive vindication of Governor Hughes' course In striving to reform the Insurance department of the state comes from the scandalous looting of the Phoenix Insurance company of Prooklyn. During his first term Governor Hughes sought to remove Superintendent Kelsey from the department. Kelsey was shown to be In competent and In suspiciously high power with the Insurance companies. The state senate rejreted the governor's recommen dations and Kelsey held on. The removal of the lid from the Phoenix mess shows that Kelsey 'a deputy superintendent, Rob ert H. Hunter, borrowed J0,000 from the Brooklyn concern, repaying all out 118,000 of the loan. Another subordinate borrowed $61,000 and paid back all but $9,000, which was charged off as "legal services." Other officers dipped Into the Phoenix pot for less sums. The revelations confound the political enemies of the governor, and ex torts from the New York Sun a scorching roast for the blockheads of the state re publican machine. Eugene Higglns has leased the southeast corner of Broadway and Nthety-flflh street to Max Marx for 999 years. To pre serve the lease In Its exact form his law yers had It transferred to a lithographic atone. These atones are about three Inches thick. They do not shrink and If rubbed up occasionally by an experienced transfer man the picture may be preserved Indefi nitely. It Is a revival of the old Idea of Moses when he had the Ten Command ments engraved on unshrinkable stone guaranteed against the weather and changes In temperature. The lease Is prob ably the first Instance of an out-and-out agreement to rent a piece of real estate In this city for so long a time, and while no figures are at hand as to what rent Mr. Higglns will receive annually, Leopold WelV.the broken who negotiated the deal, said the rental, for the 909 years would ap proximate between $25,000,000 and $3 ,000,000. Unlike leases for similar terms, this one has no provisions whereby Mr. Higglns will be enabled at a given period to step In and buy whatever Improvement may be made upon the plot at the appraised value. Mr. Marx, during his lifetime, will have sole control of anything he may put upon the land, and hla heirs, or whomever he may designate, will have the same privilege. By the terms of the lease there Is to be a re appralsement every twenty years, and with every adjustment the amount of the rent to be paid will be determined between the principals. A Wall street commuter who was con versing with a friend suddenly looked scared, cut short his speech and began to go through his pockets. "Whafa the matter? Watch pinched?" asked his friend. The other, with a sigh of relief, pulled, out a slip of paper. "I'm all right, now," he said, "but was afraid I had lost It. It la Order of the Day, No. 1," he further explained. "Issued from headquarters of the commanding general each morning Just after breakfast." He showed it to his friend. "Quart of apple butter; chlckon, five pounds, and not an old hen; celery. If not over 10 cents a bunch; telephone to furrier about my coat; one bottle of Roach's em brocation; socks for yourself; price the eggs in Washington market." , "Errand boy or pack horse," mused his unmarried friend as he moved thoughtfully away. In the days of Hobson and Dewey, said Webber to Fields, "But he's a hero!" veil," said Fields, "he vunt be a hero long." The small boys on the East Side who are thirsting to be heroes, are not enter taining fears as to future eclipse. The things they are after are permanent emolu ments, and honor from their urchin people. wot an automobile passes along the crowded thoroughfares without its ac companiment of eager-eyed small boys, who uupo io see some one run over, so that they may assist at detection and ar rest, and enter the hero class. A scond case of this sort, and the pre sentation of a gold medal by the National Highway Protective association, bids fair to increase the labors of the truant offi cers. The boys are Inclined to cut school, ana go out after medals. Still, one must award praise to little Arthur Lewis. When tne machine ran down a man and started away at full speed, the men and women on the sidewalk began to dance and yell. Arthur whipped out his pencil and on the margin of a newspaper he was carrying, Jotted down the number of the machine. "Why did you do It?" asked an admiring friend. i "Me foil de medal," said Arthur with a grin. Attorney General O'Malley of New York state has moved against the so-called milk trust In New York City and Albany, and the supreme court has appointed a referee to Investigate the charges. The Inquiry Is designed to determine the causes for an apparent wide discrepancy between the price paid . to the producer and that paid by the consumer. Officers of the consolidated milk exchange of New York City and several other large milk companies will be required to appear for examination with their records and books. The charge Is that the prices paid the producer and charged the consumer ere "arbitrarily fixed" end that t:e action of the members and stockholders In raising the price of bottled milk from 8 cents to 9 cents "was a conspiracy to unlawfully and Illegally advance the price," made possible by their alleged monopoly at the supply. One State Checks the Merger, Philadelphia Record. The telephone und telegraph merger has encountered an obstacle. It Is a Michigan law which the supreme court of the male dicllnes to suspend. "For nr. ore than a quarter of a century," says the court, "the leplslatura has seen fit to keep separate these two lines of activity." and It th .. the cart of th affirms to al- Independent ownership." Certainly this is a matter which every state Is entitled to regulate for Itself. schools. Send For Our Big Free Book "CO yetr. I.ri1u'. take hn It..! rank. flit, ft.hcH ktiat.ih.r .nvwl'.rt. 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Patent recoiling click and sell-locking setting , device. Dust ring. Platea damaskeened. En- Kaving inlaid with (old. Open lace and hunt g cases. In Filled Gold Cases, ISO & up. In Solid Gold Cases, M and up. Other Elgin models at other prices according to grade ol movement and case. All Elgin models are old by Jewelers every where, and are fully guaranteed. ELGIN NATIONAL WATCH COMPANY, Elgin. Illinois. Em FLORIDA CUBA Gulf Coast Resorts New Orleans, Mobile, Pensacola nd all other principal resort in the south reached by quick and convenient schedules of the Louisville & Nashville R. R. either in solid through trains or sleeping cars from Chicago, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Louisville, Evansville and Indianapolis. Complete dining car service. Round trip tourist tickets, limit May 31, on sale daily at reduced fares. Greater variety routes than any other line; diverse routes to Florida ifjlesired ( The Most Attractive Way South -paH 'rrjktnjmx. SMILING REMARKS. "And now, said the teacher, "we come io Germany, that Important country kov crned by a kaiser, ommy Jones, what Is a kaiser?' "Please, ma'am, a kaiser is a stream of hot water spriiiKin' up an' disturbln' the earth." Everybody's. Crusty Artist That picture gives you a better impression, madam, if you look at It from a proper dlsiai-ce. Mre. Chilltcon-Kearney I hardly think so. Distance can only er lend the en chantment, you know. New York Sun. "How did Jobblua come to be such a logical and unanswerable debater?" "by force of habil. Hi wife always makes Mm put down the carpets, so he knows how to floor nls opponent and keep him nailed down." Baltimore American. "The artists' models In Paris have struck for lilxlier wages." i "I don't blame 'em," answered Mrs. Mi Gudley. "The pictures prove thai the poor things aren't paid enough to buy clothea." Brooklyn Kajjle. Wareham libng What'd you Bay ef Rockefeller wus to give a million dollars?" Tuffold Knutt Tanks! Chicago Tribune. Redd Did his aeroplane cost him much? Green Kour weeks In the hospital. Yonkers Statesman. The peasant was overjoyed when ho dis covered that his Koose was laying golden egK. For it was winter. ' "I can pnint them up and sell them for hen's ettBs!" he exclaimed, visions of un told wealth rising rosliy before him. Puck. "I want a little legal information." "Go ahead." "If an automobile runs over a man who fault Is It, the pedestrian's or the driver's?" "One moment. Were you in the auto mobile or In tho street?" Washington Herald. This Is a very exciting scene. That or derly with dispatches has Juut dropped from a war bulloon." "Whit Is that fleecy Btuff he's brush ing off?" "Bits of cloud." Kansas City Journal. She How far can your ancestry be traced? He Well, when my grandfather resinned his position as cashier of a county bank Ijy tKe Author of the CIRCULAR &TAIRCCSE! MAN IN LOWER TEN From which the play "Seven Days" was made A Clever, Sprightly, Humorous Mystery Novel Fifty Illustrations, Many In Color, by Harrison Fkher and My Cunker At all Booksellers The LOBBS-MERRILL CO., Publishers The above book and all other late publications f or 'sale by If E BEWWETF- COMPANY- This Book and all the other new Publications on Sale at Braodeis Stoics Book Dcpurtmcnt 1S2 Illastrstloa m''iirm shows popular w-Jf No. 71 Dial. j 'l , For full particulars, rates, tickets, descriptive Illus trated booklets and sleeping car reservation address - P. W. MORROW. N. W. Pass. Agt., CHICAGO J. E. DAVENPORT, Dlv. Pass. Agt., ST. LOUIS they traced him as far as China, but he got away. Pittsburg Observer. " ' Wigwag Henperkke says he doesn't often drink, but when he clous he always haa to huve a chaser. Guzzler Meaning his wife, I suppose. Philadelphia Record. "lie Is suffering terribly. Ills teeth aro locked up tightly." "Heavens, Is It lockjawf" "No, they're In a stife and he can t eat anything until lie gets them out." St. Louis Star. THE WELL BELOVED ENEMY. Blakeney Gray in New York Sun. I know a chap who's used me 111 Almost since I was born. He's put my name to many a bill And trouble most forlorn. In school he's coft me endless woe, Too many here to tell, And yet in spite of all. d'ye know, I love htm mighty well? ; ;..! t J-! t- V.f,l4 K,l .V Ho had me spanked when I was ten For something that he did. As I look buck upon lilm then He was a fearful kid. He said mean things about my dad. The little ir.filil. And yet there was no other lad 1 cared fur quite as well. In college he on mischief bent ' On me put all the blame. No matter where that villain went. For men 'twas quite the same. He had the fun, 1 got the hook, In all things that befell. And yet by some queer mental crook I loved that fellow well. The girl I loved he went, and wooed. And wed her, and today Is fatlKT of a lovely brood' Of kiddles blithe and gay. His are the glances of her eye, His is the blissful spell. Ytt spite of all I cun't deny I love him Just as well. I know full well his weaknesses. The strange twists of hla mind. And yet there's something In me says lie's not h half bnd kind, And though he's boen un enemy Beyond all parallel,. The time has never ceased to be When I have loved him well. Who Is ie? Well, come hither while I whisper secretly I fear h's name will make you smile It's ME! Mary Roberts Rineiiarl's NEW NOVEL Chuckles and grins s Chuckles and grins "When a Man Marries" Is the Novel that wins. "New York, will laugh at It for montha." M K. Trttutti. "Lively, clean, amusing." Af. Y. Herald. "Catches on like a house aflre.'' ' S. Y.Sun. " 'When a Man Marries' la so lolly that it would make a srouch anitle like a Billikco." , Clevtland Lsadtr, "When Solomon made his sweepinr aSKertioD that there was nortiini new under the Run, be had not read 'When Man Marrica.' " bnllimort Sum.