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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 7, 1909)
Tu.rr THE OMAHA SUNDAY BER: MARCH 1909. P Tie Omaha Sunday FOfNDKD FY EDW'AIll) ROSKWATKIl VICTOR R'lSEWATEn, KbITun Entered at Umihi postofflce aa second class matter. TKRM.4 OF KL MSCIllt'TlON. rlly Hee (without ftunday), rine year. . .$ lally Bee and Pundav. on year ti IEUVKItKD BT CA Kill EH. Pally Pee (Including Sunday), per wwk 15o I)ally Bee (without Bundayi, per week.. Wc Evening Re (without Sunday), per work fc Evenlna; Ree (wllh Sunday), pr wrk., TV Sunday Bee, one year $; ") Saturday Hee. one year 1.5" Address all complaint of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation iJepartment. OFFICES. Omaha The Bee Rulldlng South Omaha Twenty-fourth and N. Council Fluffs IS eVot Street. Lincoln 61R Little Btilldjntr. Chicago 1548 Marquette Bulldlnir. New Tork Rooms lU'1-1102 No. St West Thirty-third Street. Washington 72fi Fourteenth Street, N. W. CORREBPOXDENCK. Communlcatlona relating to news end edi torial matter should he addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial I)epartment. REMITTANCES Remit hy draft, express or postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing Campany. Only I-cent stamps received In payment of mall accounts Personal checks, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. v , , , STATEMENT OF CTRCTTLATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.: Oeorge B. Txechuck. treasurer of The Bee Publishing company, aelng duly sworn, saya that the actual number of full and complete copies of The Daily. Morning, Evening: and Sunday Bee printed during the monih of February, 1909, was as follows: l aa.tio is T. ... 3.tso t 39,170 1 39,000 39,060 1 39,060 ( 38,960 7 37,000 1 89,830 9 39,980 10 38,890 11 39,060 It 38,830 II 38,780 14 37,300 39,030 17 38 770 18 19 JO 21 12 23 M8950 38,990 39.050 37,100 40.910 38 820 24 39,330 26 39.810 26 39,380 27 39,030 21 .'. .. 37,120 Total 1,087,090 Lasa unsold and returned copies. 9,963 Net Total 1,077,033 Dally average. 38,466 GEO. B. TZSCHUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before me thla 1st day of March, 1909. i M. P. WALKER, (Seal) ' Notary Public. WHES OI T OF TOWN. Sabsrrlbers leaving- the city tem porarily ah on Id hay The ilea mailed to them. Address will be rhaaged aa often aa req nested. ' The Panama canal will be all right If It floats Bhlps aa fast as It sinks money.1 "Mr. Taft la Btlll smiling," says n .Washington dispatch. Hasn't he cause to smile? Almost time for robin, the boel sign, the open car, the dandelion aaO the end seat hog. Of course, the loving cup presented by the penate to Mr. Fairbanks la de signed to hold buttermilk. Tou may Vide all day on a Switzer land railway for $1.09. But it's a long walk to Switzerland. There Is a suspicion that the sim plified spelling reform ' Is going to Africa for an Indefinite stay. Weather bureau reports from differ ent parts of the country indicate that March is living up to Its traditions. The weather man will not be thanked for scheduling a sample of Washington weather for this banana belt. Mr. Bryn saya he does not rend fiction. 'Then his serial on "Solving the Mystery" must be considered as tragedy. "Lucky" Baldwin left $20,000,000 and four wives. When It comes to dividing the estate the lawyers will share in the luck. A photograph taken on Inauguration day shows that Vice President Sher man has not broken himself of the side-whiskers habit. The legislature of llllnolsxdoes not appear to have any better success than the people had at the primaries, in so. lectins a United States senator.' "Where does the war peril He?" f aks the Spokane Spokesman-Review. In tha cable dispatches and the speeches of the California sand lotters. Carrie Nation declares that she likes England and will remain there Indefinitely. Once in a while we get a chance t6 play even with John Bull. ' "The world is full of change," says the St. Louis Star. On the contrary, the complaint has been that the world has been short of change since lato in 1907. We take it for granted lhat Mr. Roosevelt will fully post himself on the libel laws before ho settles down permanently to the business of being an editor. Mexico reports that certain promo ters are trying to corner pulque. It la easier to corner pulque than it is to corner the man who uses it as a regu lar beverage. Detailed plans for the rebuilding of Messina have ' been announc-d. F. Marlon Crawford, who declared that the city would remain a charuel house, has another guess coming. St. Louts Is to have a hotel In which It will be Impossible to get a room without a bath. The proprietor Is evidently not going to bid fori the patronage of bis fellow townsmen. President Taft nitgUt as well an nounce at onco that he does not ex pect to furnish the Washington corre spondents aa much stuff to write abont as did his distinguished -prodectssos. - Moral Effect of Rooievelt. It Is too early to determine with ex actitude the general effect of Mr. Roosevelt's siven years- occupancy of the presidential rhsir on the destiny of the nation. It Is Impossible that ho vigorous and assertive a person as he should occupy this high office for so long a term and not produce some lasting Impression on the affairs of the country of which he Is a citizen. Time alone can actually demonstrate what he did for the people, but at prtrfcnt one thing seems too plain. He Ktamped his administration with a rugged honesty, both of purpose and of practice, that is having Its reflex in the affairs of the nation generally, an1 in this way. If in no othr, he rendered a service distinct and valuable. . American statesmen have never been deeply Impressed with that pecu liar quality of governmental eptltude whlc'i, while avoiding direct men dacity, evades the plain truth while preserving its semblance. When the Venezuelan, controversy with Great Britain arose under the second admin istration of President Cleveland one of the correspondents at Washington, who represented the London Times as well as serving a number of American papers, expressed a fear that war .would result because Of the lack of skill In diplomacy on the part of Americans In authority. "Mr. Olney will, approach the topic with the abruptness of a Yankee lawyer," wrote this correspondent, in trepidation, and then explained that ' Lord Salisbury, accustomed to the delicate approach tff men versed In the methods of Met ternicb and Talleyrand and similar quibblers, would find in the sadden thrusting upon him of the naked truth such an affront as could only be re sented by arms. It turned out that Mr. Olney did approach the topic with Just such bluntness of expression as the correspondent seemed to dread, and that Lord Salisbury was con fronted with the alternative of back ing up or fighting. And he backed up. Unhappily, this example did not fiud all classt" of Americans eager to emu late, and while our statesmanship abroad has not suffered, much that pertains to things at home did, and a strange belief developed, mainly to the effect that If the thing was done by a corporation and was profitable, It was all, right. Mr. Roosevelt has labored hard and earnestly to destroy the fallacious no tion that might is equivalent to right, If the might Is exerted by a gigantic combination of capital. Without alm j Ing at or undertaking to destroy auy ; business Interest, or to hinder com ! nerco or Industry In the least, he cought to establish the square deal rule and to prove that in all things ! honesty Is the best policy. The Im j prcEsive spectacle of the government pursuing "trusts" that have violated written as well as unwritten: laws, the seeking out and punishing of rebate takers and brlbe-giveta, and the gen eral Condemnation that has "beep vis-' lted on all forms of dishonesty, public and private, by Roosevelt must for the present stand as the dominant note of I his administration. His service has been to restore common honesty to Its , proper place In our national and indi vidual relations among ourselves and I with the world, and the moral effect of such service must be good. Money for Expositions. Senator Hale's exercise of . his grouch in the closing hours of con gress defeated modest appropriations for giving the United States represent ation at two expositions next year, one at-Vienna and one at Brussels. "I am tired of this exposition busi ness. I make a point of order against the amendment," said Senator Hale, and the appropriation was defeated. A general feeling exists in congress against making appropriations In aid of expositions in this country. The expo sition business has been very much overdone, and the government has been compelled to foot a good share of the bills In every exposition that has been held, with the exception of the one. In Omaha in 1898. If Sena tor Hale's weariness with expositions had been confined only to those of the domestic variety, there woujd be little opposition to his attitude,. but he has placed the nation in 'the unenviable light of refusing participation in the expositions of foreign countries, an act which Belgium and 'Austria will be slow to understand. American manufacturers and Importers who have been using every effort to in crease the nation's trade in foreign countries will have to explain that the appropriation was defeated because it was up for consideration at a time when Senator Hale of Maine was suf fering from indigestion. Enter the Buncombe Club. The Ananias club is dead! Long live the "Buncombe" club! This 14 th cry of Washington in greeting to me new organization fathered by President Taft, who framed the title In his recent Interview in which he discussed congressional buncombe. The phrase caught at once and now offers are coming up from all. over the country proposing statesmen and near statesmen for membornhlii In tbe club On general principles the change of title and character of the organization that is to succeed the Ananias club will be generally pleasing. There it no bitterness in the new organization. It merely expresses a half-humorous contempt that waa characteristic of the origins! conception of tbe word. Buncombe Is defined by fte Amer ican dictionary of slang as "Pretense, flap-doodle, gas. Said to refer partic ularly to the speeches of congressmen wbo are talking for effect upon their constituents rather than for public good. 'The word is of congressional origin and dates back to the debate on tbe Missouri compromise, when Hen:. Felix Walker of Buncombe county, North Carolina, waa making a speech which his colleagues were try lug' to try down. "I must speak for Buncombe," shouted Walker, thus coining a word that has been highly useful eter since. We tan see trouble ahead if the Buncombe club is started. Mr. Taft has as jet refused to name his choice for charter members of the organiza tion, and he will do well to hold the matter up indefinitely. The Ananias club has been a comparatively small organization, although some very dis tinguished (aprBtUB have been made members of it by executive decree, but there would be no responsible limit placed on the numerical strength of a Buncombe club. The spellbinder In the country school house would be eligible and every politician in the na tion from the ward worker up to th grave and reverend senators would be fully qualified for admission, for they all deal In buncombe more or less, principally more. If the club is started the distinction will not go to those belonging to the Buncombe club, but to the limited few who have es caped it. "An Englishman's Home." Apparently an Englishman is never so happy as when he is scared about some impossible danger that he be lieves Is threatening the empire. When his fears of war with France are lulled he has dreams of a clash at arms be tween England and Russia or some other country, while there is always the nightmare of German Invasion hanging over him. When the English man gets a 'good scare, the recruiting stations of the army and navy are thronged with men who are anxious to go out and spill good red British blood In defense of the Union. Jack. The British have been having Just such a scare, with the usual result. The latest scare was caused by a drama, "The Englishman's Home," from the pen of Ouy du Maurler, the son of the brilliant George du Maurler, the artist who wrote "Trilby" and other successes. "The Englishman's Home" has been suppressed by the British censor of plays, after a run of some weeks, which resulted in having nearly all of the middle class Britons shivering with terror. The play is one of war and conquest, built with a de sign of Bearing the loyal Britons Into rallying to the support of the endan gered country . The scene of the drama is In a "middle-class" English home on a foggy holiday. The father Is playing solitaire and waiting for his roast beef dinner, while the boys and girls of the family are planning picnics and tennis games as soon as the weather clears a bit. The patriot hero, who is in love with a daughter of the house, appears and insists that Britain is about to be invaded by a foreign foe. The family laughs at him, but he ''is built of stern stuff and rushes off to enlist. Then the scene shifts to an other foggy day, when the English man's home is invaded by the foreign foe. The sons are shot and killed. The father rushes to the lawn and is shot down, while the house Is blown to pieces by shells. The Highlanders and different royal regiments rush to the' rescue, but the invader conquers and the yoke is on tbe British neck Clearly the purpose of the play is to emphasize what certain military ex perts have pointed ont, England's un- preparedness for defense against an invasion, wnue.tne play does not name the Invader, It is clear that Ger many Is meant, and the censor has barred the further production of the drama. He is a loyal Briton and will not Btand for any performance, evven on the mimic stage, which represents England as being licked by any na tion. However, the play has served its purpose. When It was first pro aueed, the British army was short about 14,000 men. The Beared Britons hurried to the recruiting station and now the formal announcement is made that the army has been recruited to its full quota. Still, the English, are wont to look upon the French as an excitable people. Touching: a Sore Spot. British pride has been grievously hurt and something soothing will have to be offered before there is any more of this "Hands-Across-t he-Sea" busi ness. Mr. Roosevelt, an eminent citi zen of the republic, now living at Oys ter Bay, N. Y., is responsible for the break and is really not in position to correct his mistake. It appears that some time ago Mr. Roosevelt, then president of tfie na tion, became enthusiastic over a prop osltton to have all the countries in North America Join in a movement for the conservation of resources. On the spur of the moment he called a con ferenre on the subject and invited Mexico and Canada to send delegates and both accepted tbe invitation. It was a fine movement and our neigh bors on the north and south both agreed to push it along. Now it de velops tha Canada has no national identity, but Is simply a colony of Great Britain, and the British authori ties are in a real huff because Presi dent Roosevelt sent the invitation to Canada Instead of to England for the consideration of the colonial secretary and any other British dignitaries who might wish to have a hand in tbe af fair. The British ambassador at Wash Ington has been diplomatically In formed that omcial England Is very much offended and would like to know what excuse President Roosevelt has to offer for his alight of tha crown. Of conrae President Roosevelt In tended do alight or lnanlt to Oreat Britain, .ike tha rest of s Ameri cans, he has acquired tha habit' of thinking of Canada as a great, big, prosperous nation, forgetting that It Is still tied to British diplomatic apron trlngi. England naturally feels this unintentional slight more keenly than It would If Canada had not been talk ing Quite sa icily of late about break ing the home ties and starting In the nation business on its own honk. Eng land naturally looked upon President Roosevelt's invitation as a recognition of Canadian Indlviduaflty, If not Inde pendence. It is too late to correct the mistake now the mischief has been done, but Mr. Roosevelt will be over In England In a couple of years and may And time to drop In on King Edward and explain how It happened to hap pen. In the meantime, good Amerl- ans will continue to hope that Canada will continue to prosper and get more neighborly. A Regrettable Failure. Friends of civilization and all re forms that are calculated to advance It will regret the signal failure of the ntematlonal opium conference a"t Shanghai to take any action looking o the suppression of traffic In the drug. The conference was attended by representatives of all of the civil ized powers and most of the nations represented were practically pledged o united action looking to the prohi bition of the importation of the drug into China and its use in other coun- ries except for medicinal purposes. After deliberating three veeks the conference adopted resolutions declar- ng that the use of the drug Is de moralizing and that it Is highly de sirable that It be stopped. Blame for the failure of the confer ence, according to reports, must be charged to the" British delegates, who opposed any formal action on any of the plans proposed. The American and Chinese delegates were anxious for an international agreement 'regu lating opium traffic, but the British were unwilling to go further than to pass some general platitudes on the subject. England has profited finan cially for many years by the opium trade between China and British In dia, and Is now apparently willing to hinder the progress of a great and needed reform movement for the pur pose of making a commercial profit n a discreditable trade that results in demoralizing and ruining the health of millions of people. ' Potatoes From Germany. A decided reflection on the Industry, thrift and commercial good sense of the American' farroerswas contained In a cargo of potatoes that arrived in New York the other day from Stras burg, Germany. Several carloads of the potatoes were shipped as far west as Memphis and sold at 5 cents a bushel less than potatoes from Colo rado and other potato-producing states in the west. These potatoes were loaded on barges at Strasburg. floated down the Rhine and loaded on ocean vessels as ballast, thus reducing the cost of transportation to New . York to a min imum. The United States Is capable of raising potatoes for all the world. The crop Is reasonably sure and the fluctuation in prices not much greater than in other farm products. They may be grown In practically every state in the union and nothing but a neglect of opportunities makes the im portation of German potatoes possible. Luther Burbank, Incorporated". The fuller development of the spine less cactus is- the chief aim of an unique organization which has just been incorporated under the name of The Luther Burbank's Products company." The world-wide admirers of tbe genius wbo has worked won ders In the hybridization of plants wilt perhaps be a little shocked to learn that his further inventive efforts are to be spurred on by the prospect of financial gain, but doubtless it is bet ter so. Mr. Burbank, relieved of the necessity of worrying over the cost of living, may be expected to achieve still greater distinctions than have already been scored to his credit. If the plant wizard succeeds In his dream of perfecting the spineless cac tus and "transforming the desert wastes into grazing lands," the Luther Burbank's Products company is as sured a wealth that will make tbe combined holdings of the Rockefel lers, Morgans and Vanderbllts look like small change. The fuming of the cactus area of the plains Into grazing lands would mean ranges for the cattle of the world and offer a possibility of wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. But Mr, Burbank is not content to plan for new grazing lands. Ife pre dicts his ability to produce a cactus plant that will yield both sugar and alcohol and if successful in that direc tion, would be able to put tbe Sugar trust and the Whisky trust out of business in short order. Burbank has already produced more than 600 va rieties of edible cactus, some with a fruit having the flavor of the cante loupe and peach and growing in great profusion. The economic value of the development of the cactus to Bur bank's expectations can not be over estimated. Congressman McCall will be com mended for refusing (o resign his seat to become the president of Dartmouth college. Congress needs 'the services of an able educator more than does any college In tbe world. Paris theatrical managers are said to be on the verge of bankruptcy. They should import sonve of those alleged French plays that are now making for tunes for New Tork theater managers. Mr. Myron T. Uerrlck of Ohio baa declined a Urst-clas amaajasadorahip and recently refused tae offer to be. secretary of the treasury in Mr. Taft's cabinet. This can tarry no comfort to Charles Dick, whose term as United States senator from Ohio expires In 1911. Luther Burbank has developed a cactus that will produce alcohol and sugar. That Is tougher than ever on the temperance workers, for all the owner of a producing cactus plant will need will be a little lemon and a small supply of water. An Austrian named Joseph Joseph Joseph has applied for enlistment at a western army post, and the officers do not know what to call him. The bunkles will soon dub him "Three ply" Joseph, and that will answer every purpose. . The United States Bpent SG, 125.000 In the last occupation of Cuba and It Is up to Cuba to decide whether It would be cheaper to pay the bill or start something to call the American troops bark to the island. o Excuse for War. Milwaukee Sentinel. The Japanese have adopted the plug hat with enthusiasm, but so ions as they don't wear 'em with sack coats we can have no excuse, for war there. -v ( abas Dislike of Friend. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Americans are not very popular In Cuba, notwithstanding the good results brought about by American Intervention. The na tives did not enjoy the cleaning up and they do not appreciate freedom. Hope Urtm m Fall. Minneapolis Journal. Prominent ritliens who are figuring on taking luncheon with the new president will learn with deep regret that Mr.'Tafc. takes only an apple for lunch, and does not leave any core. EaoQik for All eeds. Washington Herald. There la some difference of opinion aa to how many lawyers the Taft cabinet will contain,' but we are sure there will be enough to warrant the presumption that the president will be addressed aa "your honor" occasionally. Too Good a Customer. Minneapolis Journal. In counting the strength of the next two naval powers. Oreat Britain has excluded the United States. It does not think this country would be mean enough' to attack It. We probably shall not, as long as Great Britain Is such a noble cash customer. Legally and Morally Ftlht. Springfield 'Republican. . Judse Landls was right legally and morally in the :!9,240.000 Standard oil fine- such Is the conclusion of Charles O. Little, professor of corporation law In the North western university law school, in an article In the current Illinois Law Review. He was certainly nearer right than Judge An derson can possibly be In following the law rulings of the circuit court of appeals on a retrial of the cause. Roosevelt, the Chamaloa of night, Chicago News. The nation will always remember this remarkable man with deep gratitude and affection. He has assiduously taught the golden rule In the market place, with the aid of the big stick and otherwise, it waa well worth doing and It was thor ouchlv done. By his teaching be has shown how contemptible are various forma of so-called succeas which the American people lately were prone to worship In discriminately. Thus he has led the great mass of Americans to recognise more clearly than before thst to do right is better than great riches. It Is not surprising that the people love this champion of right. A CHEAT COUXTHT. Some Magnificent Distances by War of Contrast. New York Journal of Commerce. Apropos of Judge Gary's remarks on the greatness of this country, a man given to dabbling in Impressive statistics remarked) last evening: ,-Tes, It la s great country much grtater than we are apt to realise. s"Why, take one state, Texas, and consider Its magnitude. Do you know that thenars of Texas Is M6.7SO square miles, which is equal to 170;099.a acres. Split this Into lota equivalent to those In New Tork city, that Is to say, twenty per acre, and you have ,I.l.onO lots. Now the population of the world la estimated at IW.noo.OiA "t add !0 per cen to make sure nobody will be left out and the total Is 2.760.O0O.om. Give every man, woman and child In Jhe world a building lot In Texas and there would till remain an excess of 841.04 lots. The allowance of twenty lots per acre provides amply for highways. Tot," he added. "Alaska is about double the rise of Texas." SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT Chicago Tribune: We hope the Rev. Billy Pundsv did not overlook the 'opportunity to preach forgiveness to those excitable per sops In his audience, who yelled "Kill him!" while he was slugging the man that tried to horaewhip him. Sprlngfled rtepubl'can: Oypsy Smith says he doesn't get a fourth of 120.000 a year for his evangelism, and "people would be surprised If they knew what my salary Is." And If he were "out to make money," he could do better, for he has offers on the lecture platform whioh "would take four or five years of my time In this country to fulfil." Billy Sunday la now to be heard from. , Milwaukee Sentinel: The presiding elder, who has exonerated the young Ironton preacher who has been guilty of. refereelng a basket ball game has a level head. The only Justification for calling this preacher on the carpet would lie In the quality of Uie game played. If It waa "rotten" or of the rowdy order, then the .pastor night be blamed for mixing up with such an exhibition. But all reports Indu rate that the conteat was a rlesn gsme, and the paator clearly ought to be con gratulated rather than condemned. Leslie's Weekly: Modern combinations have both enemies and friends, but for the suggestion of a "combine" In Parkton, S. Dak., of the Methodist, Presbyterian and Lutheran churches, there ran be nothing but coinmendstlon, No one of the three churches hss been able to Justify Its existence by doing effective work. By the "merger" one strong church would be created, and, incidentally, about 3 000 saved In running one plant Instead of three. Such wisdom and economy appeal to the twen eleth century. One serious obstacle to re ligious growth has been the overcnurchlng of small communities, engendering petty rivalry and b'f kerlng, a death struggle for separate existence, snd leaa than a Uvlner wage for the ministry. We bear much of the underpaid minister acd the strugaTlIng church. Id the case of separated eonunanl ttes. all of which need to maintain their owa ehtirch edifice aad voaUp, tha preb leea has beea solved b a yoktaeT ad the small chore haa. "GIVE ME THE OCULAR PROOF" Hera it is. as usual, first to pay. Mr. H. D. Neely, Manager, Equitable Life Assurance My Dear Mr. Neely : I have Just received check form the Equitable Life Assuranc So ciety in full for your policy on the life of my late husband, Carl Bran dels. Proofs were handed to you Tuesday, the 2d, and I am now ta re ceipt of draft, five days after date. I thank yon for your promptness. o'f all the Insurance on my husband's life years Is the first to pavy, although "Proofs" were made to all the same day. Yours truly, Jennie Brandels. SERMONS BOILED DOWN. j Petrified creeds always have the sharpest angles. Love's little deeds loom largest on the recording angel's books. Hiding a tallow dip under a bushel does not make it an arc light. The blggeat deposUa In heaven are made when nobody but God Is looking. Some climb Into the church band wagon principally to escape the collection. 1 The ambition to cleanse the world seems to occur to a good many small sorubs. It takes more than a mushy manner to make one a minister of the bread of life. It would be a good deal easier, to love some saints If they would hurry to heaven. The life absolutely sincere to the best It knows1 Is the best sermon any can preach. Many think they are fighting sin when they are having a good time stabbing sin ners. He Is a dangerous man who spends much time drawing fine lines between shrewdness and sin. The man who Is anxious to let you know that God Is on his tongue usually has the devil In his heart. Tha reason the bigot advertises his one Idea so vigorously is that It Is his whole stock in intellectual trade. Chicago Tribune. PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Signs of spring multiply in the shop windows. Oyster Bay is on the map, but not in the limelight. Kansas follows Missouri in outlawing bucketshopa. An exodus to the state of Haakell Is on. An eastern song bird, In her Salome act, wears a gown that is pronounced "a gasp" In the pit and "a shriek" in the upper tiers. Ohio is taking about everything in sight. The battleship bearing that name walked off with the "steaming trophy" in the tilp around the world. A Kentucky court holds that checks given in payment of poker debts .are binding. The honor of the national game la vindicated once more. - A Chicago policeman who quits the job and becomes a gentleman of leisure is re puted to be worth between 173,000 and t2G0,000. Where did he get It? you ask. Aw, what's Itching youT About half of the saloon drug stores In Kansas must go out of business be cause their whisky barrels have been plugged up. But the bootlegger Is still doing business as usual. Georgia 'possum and Louisiana boulll chase are not the Alpha and Omega of appetising delicacies. At the New York Canadian club dinner "deviled white lllultller, grilled boaconstrictor and roast monkey" were among the confection dished up. New Tork Is patting itself on the back In having a woman wfreless operator, as though.lt was a new vocation for the sex. Women have been wlrelss operators ever since Kve started vibrations around Adam's fifth rib. And she will remain on the Job as long as her eyes shine and her sighs wave the message to man. YOU MAKE On the First Payment raid Down on any New Piano on our retail floor. In other words every dollar paid down, up to $25.00, we credit your two for one. Fine new pianos selling for $165, $175, $190,' $200, $250, $275 and up. At above prices you make a saving of from $50 to $75, then add the $25 we credit you on your $25 down pay ment will net you a saving of $100. . Hundreds of pianos to select from. Great makes like the Kranach & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball, Hallet & Davis, Bush & Lane, Cable-Nelson, Victor, Cramer, Burton and Hospe pianos. Pianos which are selling regularly at $250, $300, $350, $400 and up go on sale today at prices showing the big sav ing of from $50 to $100. . Terms of from $5, $f, $7, $8 to $10 per month. Stool and scarf free. USED PIANOS Chickering: & Sons, Wood, Smith, Weser Bros., Kfng, Mason-FaxreU Imperial, Kimball Players, Angelus Players and other used good pianos and Players at prices to paralyze competition $50 buys some. $75 others, $100 still others, and just a little dowu and a little weekly pavs for them. REMEMBER WE CARRY THE KRANICH & BACH, KRAKAUER, BUSH-LANE AND KIMBALL PIANOS A. HOSPE CO., 1513 Douglas St. WESTERN AGENTS fOR APOLIX PLAYER PIANO. 1 the EQUITABIE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY "Strongest in the World" Policies Sight Dralts at Maturity PAUL MORTON. Prslient B. D. NEELY, Mgr.. Merchants Kat. Bank B14g. Omaha, Neb., March 6, 1909. Society, Omaha, Nebraska. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. She (belllgnrently) Do you know vf any stste in the union In which woman has the upper hand without the ballot? He Oh, tea. Rhe-What state la It? 11- (meekly) The state of matrimony. Baltimore American. Stella What were the favors at her din ner? Bella Well, the gueste thouarht they did her a fnvor hy coming, and she thought thfy did her a favor by leaving. New York Sun. Maud Vy fiance Is a heartless wretch. Vtelle What's the trouble? Maud-I've got a better offer and h won't release me from our engagement. Boston Transcript. IJttleton Where's Klxann 'going with the sledire hammer? Jollyton To call on the handsome Sally Terthy. Somebody told him she had heart of stone. Judge. "But, Alfred," she said, "how can we live on 14 a week?" s "That means, I suppose." faltened tha young man, "that you expect tr throw u that a week Job of yours after we are married" Chicago Tribune. "James," protested the fsther, "what do you means by boring holes Into that big tree?" v "Father. I'm a benefactor," said the bey, plvlng his auifiir a few more vicious turns. "I'm making knot holes In base ball fences for poor boys." Puck. "So you think every patriot has a mnr or less clearly defined ambition to hold public office?" "Yes." answered Senator Sorghum. "As a rule patriots may be divided into two classes: the appointed and tha disap pointed." ' "Women are so emancipated from house hold duties now," cried the reactionist, "It's clubs and pink teaa and political meetings, hut never home. Wlierx la the good old-fashioned washday, now?" "Where I always waa," replied the smsrt club woman. "It Is going by the board." Baltimore American. THE DEPARTED FRIEND. Itobert Louis Stevenson. 1 hough he that, ever kind and true, Kept stoutly step by step with you Your whole, long, gusty lifetime through. Be gone a while before Be now a moment gone before. Yet doubt not anon the seasons shall re store - . . . Ycur friend to you, , , ..j, t He has but turned a corner still He pushes on with right good will ThrouKh mire and marsh, by heugh and hill. That selfsame arduous way That selfsame, upland, hopeful way v That you and he through many a doubtful day Attempted still. He Is not dead, this friend not dead;' But In the path we rwrtals tresd Got some few trifling steps ahesd And nesrer to the end. So that you. too. once pest this bend, thall meet again, aa, face to face, thl friend Ycu fancy dead. Push gayly on. strong heart! The while You travel forward nvle by mile, lie lotters with a. backward smile, Till you can overtake, And strains his eyes to sesrch his wske. Or, whistling, as he sees you through the brake. Waits on a stile. Better Bread More of It TMTY IT . s