Tu.rr
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BER: MARCH
1909.
P
Tie Omaha Sunday
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REMITTANCES
Remit hy draft, express or postal order,
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Only I-cent stamps received In payment of
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v , , ,
STATEMENT OF CTRCTTLATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County, ss.:
Oeorge B. Txechuck. treasurer of The Bee
Publishing company, aelng duly sworn, saya
that the actual number of full and complete
copies of The Daily. Morning, Evening: and
Sunday Bee printed during the monih of
February, 1909, was as follows:
l aa.tio is T. ... 3.tso
t 39,170
1 39,000
39,060
1 39,060
( 38,960
7 37,000
1 89,830
9 39,980
10 38,890
11 39,060
It 38,830
II 38,780
14 37,300
39,030
17 38 770
18
19
JO
21
12
23
M8950
38,990
39.050
37,100
40.910
38 820
24 39,330
26 39.810
26 39,380
27 39,030
21 .'. .. 37,120
Total 1,087,090
Lasa unsold and returned copies. 9,963
Net Total 1,077,033
Dally average. 38,466
GEO. B. TZSCHUCK.
Treasurer.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to
before me thla 1st day of March, 1909.
i M. P. WALKER,
(Seal) ' Notary Public.
WHES OI T OF TOWN.
Sabsrrlbers leaving- the city tem
porarily ah on Id hay The ilea
mailed to them. Address will be
rhaaged aa often aa req nested. '
The Panama canal will be all right
If It floats Bhlps aa fast as It sinks
money.1
"Mr. Taft la Btlll smiling," says n
.Washington dispatch. Hasn't he
cause to smile?
Almost time for robin, the boel
sign, the open car, the dandelion aaO
the end seat hog.
Of course, the loving cup presented
by the penate to Mr. Fairbanks la de
signed to hold buttermilk.
Tou may Vide all day on a Switzer
land railway for $1.09. But it's a
long walk to Switzerland.
There Is a suspicion that the sim
plified spelling reform ' Is going to
Africa for an Indefinite stay.
Weather bureau reports from differ
ent parts of the country indicate that
March is living up to Its traditions.
The weather man will not be
thanked for scheduling a sample of
Washington weather for this banana
belt.
Mr. Bryn saya he does not rend
fiction. 'Then his serial on "Solving
the Mystery" must be considered as
tragedy.
"Lucky" Baldwin left $20,000,000
and four wives. When It comes to
dividing the estate the lawyers will
share in the luck.
A photograph taken on Inauguration
day shows that Vice President Sher
man has not broken himself of the
side-whiskers habit.
The legislature of llllnolsxdoes not
appear to have any better success than
the people had at the primaries, in so.
lectins a United States senator.'
"Where does the war peril He?"
f aks the Spokane Spokesman-Review.
In tha cable dispatches and the
speeches of the California sand lotters.
Carrie Nation declares that she
likes England and will remain there
Indefinitely. Once in a while we get
a chance t6 play even with John Bull.
' "The world is full of change," says
the St. Louis Star. On the contrary,
the complaint has been that the world
has been short of change since lato in
1907.
We take it for granted lhat Mr.
Roosevelt will fully post himself on
the libel laws before ho settles down
permanently to the business of being
an editor.
Mexico reports that certain promo
ters are trying to corner pulque. It
la easier to corner pulque than it is to
corner the man who uses it as a regu
lar beverage.
Detailed plans for the rebuilding of
Messina have ' been announc-d. F.
Marlon Crawford, who declared that
the city would remain a charuel house,
has another guess coming.
St. Louts Is to have a hotel In which
It will be Impossible to get a room
without a bath. The proprietor Is
evidently not going to bid fori the
patronage of bis fellow townsmen.
President Taft nitgUt as well an
nounce at onco that he does not ex
pect to furnish the Washington corre
spondents aa much stuff to write abont
as did his distinguished -prodectssos. -
Moral Effect of Rooievelt.
It Is too early to determine with ex
actitude the general effect of Mr.
Roosevelt's siven years- occupancy of
the presidential rhsir on the destiny
of the nation. It Is Impossible that
ho vigorous and assertive a person as
he should occupy this high office for
so long a term and not produce some
lasting Impression on the affairs of
the country of which he Is a citizen.
Time alone can actually demonstrate
what he did for the people, but at
prtrfcnt one thing seems too plain.
He Ktamped his administration with a
rugged honesty, both of purpose and
of practice, that is having Its reflex in
the affairs of the nation generally, an1
in this way. If in no othr, he rendered
a service distinct and valuable. .
American statesmen have never
been deeply Impressed with that pecu
liar quality of governmental eptltude
whlc'i, while avoiding direct men
dacity, evades the plain truth while
preserving its semblance. When the
Venezuelan, controversy with Great
Britain arose under the second admin
istration of President Cleveland one
of the correspondents at Washington,
who represented the London Times as
well as serving a number of American
papers, expressed a fear that war
.would result because Of the lack of
skill In diplomacy on the part of
Americans In authority. "Mr. Olney
will, approach the topic with the
abruptness of a Yankee lawyer," wrote
this correspondent, in trepidation, and
then explained that ' Lord Salisbury,
accustomed to the delicate approach
tff men versed In the methods of Met
ternicb and Talleyrand and similar
quibblers, would find in the sadden
thrusting upon him of the naked truth
such an affront as could only be re
sented by arms. It turned out that
Mr. Olney did approach the topic with
Just such bluntness of expression as
the correspondent seemed to dread,
and that Lord Salisbury was con
fronted with the alternative of back
ing up or fighting. And he backed up.
Unhappily, this example did not fiud
all classt" of Americans eager to emu
late, and while our statesmanship
abroad has not suffered, much that
pertains to things at home did, and a
strange belief developed, mainly to the
effect that If the thing was done by a
corporation and was profitable, It was
all, right.
Mr. Roosevelt has labored hard and
earnestly to destroy the fallacious no
tion that might is equivalent to right,
If the might Is exerted by a gigantic
combination of capital. Without alm
j Ing at or undertaking to destroy auy
; business Interest, or to hinder com
! nerco or Industry In the least, he
cought to establish the square deal
rule and to prove that in all things
! honesty Is the best policy. The Im
j prcEsive spectacle of the government
pursuing "trusts" that have violated
written as well as unwritten: laws, the
seeking out and punishing of rebate
takers and brlbe-giveta, and the gen
eral Condemnation that has "beep vis-'
lted on all forms of dishonesty, public
and private, by Roosevelt must for the
present stand as the dominant note of
I his administration. His service has
been to restore common honesty to Its
, proper place In our national and indi
vidual relations among ourselves and
I with the world, and the moral effect
of such service must be good.
Money for Expositions.
Senator Hale's exercise of . his
grouch in the closing hours of con
gress defeated modest appropriations
for giving the United States represent
ation at two expositions next year,
one at-Vienna and one at Brussels.
"I am tired of this exposition busi
ness. I make a point of order against
the amendment," said Senator Hale,
and the appropriation was defeated.
A general feeling exists in congress
against making appropriations In aid of
expositions in this country. The expo
sition business has been very much
overdone, and the government has
been compelled to foot a good share
of the bills In every exposition that
has been held, with the exception of
the one. In Omaha in 1898. If Sena
tor Hale's weariness with expositions
had been confined only to those of the
domestic variety, there woujd be little
opposition to his attitude,. but he has
placed the nation in 'the unenviable
light of refusing participation in the
expositions of foreign countries, an
act which Belgium and 'Austria will
be slow to understand. American
manufacturers and Importers who
have been using every effort to in
crease the nation's trade in foreign
countries will have to explain that the
appropriation was defeated because it
was up for consideration at a time
when Senator Hale of Maine was suf
fering from indigestion.
Enter the Buncombe Club.
The Ananias club is dead! Long
live the "Buncombe" club! This 14
th cry of Washington in greeting to
me new organization fathered by
President Taft, who framed the title
In his recent Interview in which he
discussed congressional buncombe.
The phrase caught at once and now
offers are coming up from all. over the
country proposing statesmen and near
statesmen for membornhlii In tbe club
On general principles the change of
title and character of the organization
that is to succeed the Ananias club
will be generally pleasing. There it
no bitterness in the new organization.
It merely expresses a half-humorous
contempt that waa characteristic of the
origins! conception of tbe word.
Buncombe Is defined by fte Amer
ican dictionary of slang as "Pretense,
flap-doodle, gas. Said to refer partic
ularly to the speeches of congressmen
wbo are talking for effect upon their
constituents rather than for public
good. 'The word is of congressional
origin and dates back to the debate
on tbe Missouri compromise, when
Hen:. Felix Walker of Buncombe
county, North Carolina, waa making a
speech which his colleagues were try
lug' to try down. "I must speak for
Buncombe," shouted Walker, thus
coining a word that has been highly
useful eter since.
We tan see trouble ahead if the
Buncombe club is started. Mr. Taft
has as jet refused to name his choice
for charter members of the organiza
tion, and he will do well to hold the
matter up indefinitely. The Ananias
club has been a comparatively small
organization, although some very dis
tinguished (aprBtUB have been made
members of it by executive decree, but
there would be no responsible limit
placed on the numerical strength of a
Buncombe club. The spellbinder In
the country school house would be
eligible and every politician in the na
tion from the ward worker up to th
grave and reverend senators would be
fully qualified for admission, for they
all deal In buncombe more or less,
principally more. If the club is
started the distinction will not go to
those belonging to the Buncombe club,
but to the limited few who have es
caped it.
"An Englishman's Home."
Apparently an Englishman is never
so happy as when he is scared about
some impossible danger that he be
lieves Is threatening the empire. When
his fears of war with France are lulled
he has dreams of a clash at arms be
tween England and Russia or some
other country, while there is always
the nightmare of German Invasion
hanging over him. When the English
man gets a 'good scare, the recruiting
stations of the army and navy are
thronged with men who are anxious
to go out and spill good red British
blood In defense of the Union. Jack.
The British have been having Just
such a scare, with the usual result.
The latest scare was caused by a
drama, "The Englishman's Home,"
from the pen of Ouy du Maurler, the
son of the brilliant George du Maurler,
the artist who wrote "Trilby" and
other successes. "The Englishman's
Home" has been suppressed by the
British censor of plays, after a run of
some weeks, which resulted in having
nearly all of the middle class Britons
shivering with terror. The play is one
of war and conquest, built with a de
sign of Bearing the loyal Britons Into
rallying to the support of the endan
gered country .
The scene of the drama is In a
"middle-class" English home on a
foggy holiday. The father Is playing
solitaire and waiting for his roast
beef dinner, while the boys and girls
of the family are planning picnics and
tennis games as soon as the weather
clears a bit. The patriot hero, who is
in love with a daughter of the house,
appears and insists that Britain is
about to be invaded by a foreign foe.
The family laughs at him, but he ''is
built of stern stuff and rushes off to
enlist. Then the scene shifts to an
other foggy day, when the English
man's home is invaded by the foreign
foe. The sons are shot and killed.
The father rushes to the lawn and is
shot down, while the house Is blown
to pieces by shells. The Highlanders
and different royal regiments rush to
the' rescue, but the invader conquers
and the yoke is on tbe British neck
Clearly the purpose of the play is
to emphasize what certain military ex
perts have pointed ont, England's un-
preparedness for defense against an
invasion, wnue.tne play does not
name the Invader, It is clear that Ger
many Is meant, and the censor has
barred the further production of the
drama. He is a loyal Briton and will
not Btand for any performance, evven
on the mimic stage, which represents
England as being licked by any na
tion. However, the play has served
its purpose. When It was first pro
aueed, the British army was short
about 14,000 men. The Beared Britons
hurried to the recruiting station and
now the formal announcement is made
that the army has been recruited to
its full quota. Still, the English, are
wont to look upon the French as an
excitable people.
Touching: a Sore Spot.
British pride has been grievously
hurt and something soothing will have
to be offered before there is any more
of this "Hands-Across-t he-Sea" busi
ness. Mr. Roosevelt, an eminent citi
zen of the republic, now living at Oys
ter Bay, N. Y., is responsible for the
break and is really not in position to
correct his mistake.
It appears that some time ago Mr.
Roosevelt, then president of tfie na
tion, became enthusiastic over a prop
osltton to have all the countries in
North America Join in a movement for
the conservation of resources. On the
spur of the moment he called a con
ferenre on the subject and invited
Mexico and Canada to send delegates
and both accepted tbe invitation. It
was a fine movement and our neigh
bors on the north and south both
agreed to push it along. Now it de
velops tha Canada has no national
identity, but Is simply a colony of
Great Britain, and the British authori
ties are in a real huff because Presi
dent Roosevelt sent the invitation to
Canada Instead of to England for the
consideration of the colonial secretary
and any other British dignitaries who
might wish to have a hand in tbe af
fair. The British ambassador at Wash
Ington has been diplomatically In
formed that omcial England Is very
much offended and would like to know
what excuse President Roosevelt has
to offer for his alight of tha crown.
Of conrae President Roosevelt In
tended do alight or lnanlt to Oreat
Britain, .ike tha rest of s Ameri
cans, he has acquired tha habit' of
thinking of Canada as a great, big,
prosperous nation, forgetting that It Is
still tied to British diplomatic apron
trlngi. England naturally feels this
unintentional slight more keenly than
It would If Canada had not been talk
ing Quite sa icily of late about break
ing the home ties and starting In the
nation business on its own honk. Eng
land naturally looked upon President
Roosevelt's invitation as a recognition
of Canadian Indlviduaflty, If not Inde
pendence. It is too late to correct the
mistake now the mischief has been
done, but Mr. Roosevelt will be over In
England In a couple of years and may
And time to drop In on King Edward
and explain how It happened to hap
pen. In the meantime, good Amerl-
ans will continue to hope that Canada
will continue to prosper and get more
neighborly.
A Regrettable Failure.
Friends of civilization and all re
forms that are calculated to advance
It will regret the signal failure of the
ntematlonal opium conference a"t
Shanghai to take any action looking
o the suppression of traffic In the
drug. The conference was attended
by representatives of all of the civil
ized powers and most of the nations
represented were practically pledged
o united action looking to the prohi
bition of the importation of the drug
into China and its use in other coun-
ries except for medicinal purposes.
After deliberating three veeks the
conference adopted resolutions declar-
ng that the use of the drug Is de
moralizing and that it Is highly de
sirable that It be stopped.
Blame for the failure of the confer
ence, according to reports, must be
charged to the" British delegates, who
opposed any formal action on any of
the plans proposed. The American
and Chinese delegates were anxious
for an international agreement 'regu
lating opium traffic, but the British
were unwilling to go further than to
pass some general platitudes on the
subject. England has profited finan
cially for many years by the opium
trade between China and British In
dia, and Is now apparently willing to
hinder the progress of a great and
needed reform movement for the pur
pose of making a commercial profit
n a discreditable trade that results in
demoralizing and ruining the health
of millions of people. '
Potatoes From Germany.
A decided reflection on the Industry,
thrift and commercial good sense of
the American' farroerswas contained
In a cargo of potatoes that arrived in
New York the other day from Stras
burg, Germany. Several carloads of
the potatoes were shipped as far west
as Memphis and sold at 5 cents a
bushel less than potatoes from Colo
rado and other potato-producing states
in the west.
These potatoes were loaded on
barges at Strasburg. floated down the
Rhine and loaded on ocean vessels as
ballast, thus reducing the cost of
transportation to New . York to a min
imum. The United States Is capable
of raising potatoes for all the world.
The crop Is reasonably sure and the
fluctuation in prices not much greater
than in other farm products. They
may be grown In practically every
state in the union and nothing but a
neglect of opportunities makes the im
portation of German potatoes possible.
Luther Burbank, Incorporated".
The fuller development of the spine
less cactus is- the chief aim of an
unique organization which has just
been incorporated under the name of
The Luther Burbank's Products
company." The world-wide admirers
of tbe genius wbo has worked won
ders In the hybridization of plants wilt
perhaps be a little shocked to learn
that his further inventive efforts are
to be spurred on by the prospect of
financial gain, but doubtless it is bet
ter so. Mr. Burbank, relieved of the
necessity of worrying over the cost of
living, may be expected to achieve still
greater distinctions than have already
been scored to his credit.
If the plant wizard succeeds In his
dream of perfecting the spineless cac
tus and "transforming the desert
wastes into grazing lands," the Luther
Burbank's Products company is as
sured a wealth that will make tbe
combined holdings of the Rockefel
lers, Morgans and Vanderbllts look
like small change. The fuming of the
cactus area of the plains Into grazing
lands would mean ranges for the cattle
of the world and offer a possibility of
wealth beyond the dreams of avarice.
But Mr, Burbank is not content to
plan for new grazing lands. Ife pre
dicts his ability to produce a cactus
plant that will yield both sugar and
alcohol and if successful in that direc
tion, would be able to put tbe Sugar
trust and the Whisky trust out of
business in short order. Burbank has
already produced more than 600 va
rieties of edible cactus, some with a
fruit having the flavor of the cante
loupe and peach and growing in great
profusion. The economic value of the
development of the cactus to Bur
bank's expectations can not be over
estimated. Congressman McCall will be com
mended for refusing (o resign his seat
to become the president of Dartmouth
college. Congress needs 'the services
of an able educator more than does
any college In tbe world.
Paris theatrical managers are said
to be on the verge of bankruptcy. They
should import sonve of those alleged
French plays that are now making for
tunes for New Tork theater managers.
Mr. Myron T. Uerrlck of Ohio baa
declined a Urst-clas amaajasadorahip
and recently refused tae offer to be.
secretary of the treasury in Mr. Taft's
cabinet. This can tarry no comfort
to Charles Dick, whose term as United
States senator from Ohio expires In
1911.
Luther Burbank has developed a
cactus that will produce alcohol and
sugar. That Is tougher than ever on
the temperance workers, for all the
owner of a producing cactus plant will
need will be a little lemon and a small
supply of water.
An Austrian named Joseph Joseph
Joseph has applied for enlistment at
a western army post, and the officers
do not know what to call him. The
bunkles will soon dub him "Three
ply" Joseph, and that will answer
every purpose. .
The United States Bpent SG, 125.000
In the last occupation of Cuba and It
Is up to Cuba to decide whether It
would be cheaper to pay the bill or
start something to call the American
troops bark to the island.
o Excuse for War.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Japanese have adopted the plug hat
with enthusiasm, but so ions as they don't
wear 'em with sack coats we can have no
excuse, for war there. -v
( abas Dislike of Friend.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Americans are not very popular In Cuba,
notwithstanding the good results brought
about by American Intervention. The na
tives did not enjoy the cleaning up and
they do not appreciate freedom.
Hope Urtm m Fall.
Minneapolis Journal.
Prominent ritliens who are figuring on
taking luncheon with the new president
will learn with deep regret that Mr.'Tafc.
takes only an apple for lunch, and does not
leave any core.
EaoQik for All eeds.
Washington Herald.
There la some difference of opinion aa
to how many lawyers the Taft cabinet will
contain,' but we are sure there will be
enough to warrant the presumption that
the president will be addressed aa "your
honor" occasionally.
Too Good a Customer.
Minneapolis Journal.
In counting the strength of the next two
naval powers. Oreat Britain has excluded
the United States. It does not think this
country would be mean enough' to attack
It. We probably shall not, as long as
Great Britain Is such a noble cash customer.
Legally and Morally Ftlht.
Springfield 'Republican. .
Judse Landls was right legally and
morally in the :!9,240.000 Standard oil fine-
such Is the conclusion of Charles O. Little,
professor of corporation law In the North
western university law school, in an article
In the current Illinois Law Review. He
was certainly nearer right than Judge An
derson can possibly be In following the
law rulings of the circuit court of appeals
on a retrial of the cause.
Roosevelt, the Chamaloa of night,
Chicago News.
The nation will always remember this
remarkable man with deep gratitude and
affection. He has assiduously taught the
golden rule In the market place, with the
aid of the big stick and otherwise, it
waa well worth doing and It was thor
ouchlv done. By his teaching be has
shown how contemptible are various forma
of so-called succeas which the American
people lately were prone to worship In
discriminately. Thus he has led the great
mass of Americans to recognise more
clearly than before thst to do right is
better than great riches.
It Is not surprising that the people love
this champion of right.
A CHEAT COUXTHT.
Some Magnificent Distances by War
of Contrast.
New York Journal of Commerce.
Apropos of Judge Gary's remarks on the
greatness of this country, a man given to
dabbling in Impressive statistics remarked)
last evening: ,-Tes, It la s great country
much grtater than we are apt to realise.
s"Why, take one state, Texas, and consider
Its magnitude. Do you know that thenars
of Texas Is M6.7SO square miles, which is
equal to 170;099.a acres. Split this Into
lota equivalent to those In New Tork city,
that Is to say, twenty per acre, and you
have ,I.l.onO lots. Now the population
of the world la estimated at IW.noo.OiA "t
add !0 per cen to make sure nobody will
be left out and the total Is 2.760.O0O.om. Give
every man, woman and child In Jhe world
a building lot In Texas and there would
till remain an excess of 841.04 lots. The
allowance of twenty lots per acre provides
amply for highways. Tot," he added.
"Alaska is about double the rise of Texas."
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Chicago Tribune: We hope the Rev. Billy
Pundsv did not overlook the 'opportunity to
preach forgiveness to those excitable per
sops In his audience, who yelled "Kill him!"
while he was slugging the man that tried
to horaewhip him.
Sprlngfled rtepubl'can: Oypsy Smith
says he doesn't get a fourth of 120.000 a
year for his evangelism, and "people would
be surprised If they knew what my salary
Is." And If he were "out to make money,"
he could do better, for he has offers on the
lecture platform whioh "would take four
or five years of my time In this country
to fulfil." Billy Sunday la now to be heard
from. ,
Milwaukee Sentinel: The presiding elder,
who has exonerated the young Ironton
preacher who has been guilty of. refereelng
a basket ball game has a level head.
The only Justification for calling this
preacher on the carpet would lie In the
quality of Uie game played. If It waa
"rotten" or of the rowdy order, then the
.pastor night be blamed for mixing up with
such an exhibition. But all reports Indu
rate that the conteat was a rlesn gsme,
and the paator clearly ought to be con
gratulated rather than condemned.
Leslie's Weekly: Modern combinations
have both enemies and friends, but for
the suggestion of a "combine" In Parkton,
S. Dak., of the Methodist, Presbyterian
and Lutheran churches, there ran be
nothing but coinmendstlon, No one of the
three churches hss been able to Justify Its
existence by doing effective work. By the
"merger" one strong church would be
created, and, incidentally, about 3 000 saved
In running one plant Instead of three. Such
wisdom and economy appeal to the twen
eleth century. One serious obstacle to re
ligious growth has been the overcnurchlng
of small communities, engendering petty
rivalry and b'f kerlng, a death struggle for
separate existence, snd leaa than a Uvlner
wage for the ministry. We bear much of
the underpaid minister acd the strugaTlIng
church. Id the case of separated eonunanl
ttes. all of which need to maintain their
owa ehtirch edifice aad voaUp, tha preb
leea has beea solved b a yoktaeT ad the
small chore haa.
"GIVE ME THE OCULAR PROOF"
Hera it is. as usual, first to pay.
Mr. H. D. Neely, Manager,
Equitable Life Assurance
My Dear Mr. Neely :
I have Just received check form the Equitable Life Assuranc So
ciety in full for your policy on the life of my late husband, Carl Bran
dels. Proofs were handed to you Tuesday, the 2d, and I am now ta re
ceipt of draft, five days after date.
I thank yon for your promptness.
o'f all the Insurance on my husband's life years Is the first to pavy,
although "Proofs" were made to all the same day.
Yours truly, Jennie Brandels.
SERMONS BOILED DOWN. j
Petrified creeds always have the sharpest
angles.
Love's little deeds loom largest on the
recording angel's books.
Hiding a tallow dip under a bushel does
not make it an arc light.
The blggeat deposUa In heaven are made
when nobody but God Is looking.
Some climb Into the church band wagon
principally to escape the collection. 1
The ambition to cleanse the world seems
to occur to a good many small sorubs.
It takes more than a mushy manner to
make one a minister of the bread of life.
It would be a good deal easier, to love
some saints If they would hurry to heaven.
The life absolutely sincere to the best It
knows1 Is the best sermon any can preach.
Many think they are fighting sin when
they are having a good time stabbing sin
ners. He Is a dangerous man who spends much
time drawing fine lines between shrewdness
and sin.
The man who Is anxious to let you know
that God Is on his tongue usually has the
devil In his heart.
Tha reason the bigot advertises his one
Idea so vigorously is that It Is his whole
stock in intellectual trade. Chicago
Tribune.
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.
Signs of spring multiply in the shop
windows.
Oyster Bay is on the map, but not in
the limelight.
Kansas follows Missouri in outlawing
bucketshopa. An exodus to the state of
Haakell Is on.
An eastern song bird, In her Salome
act, wears a gown that is pronounced "a
gasp" In the pit and "a shriek" in the
upper tiers.
Ohio is taking about everything in sight.
The battleship bearing that name walked
off with the "steaming trophy" in the tilp
around the world.
A Kentucky court holds that checks
given in payment of poker debts .are
binding. The honor of the national game
la vindicated once more. -
A Chicago policeman who quits the job
and becomes a gentleman of leisure is re
puted to be worth between 173,000 and
t2G0,000. Where did he get It? you ask.
Aw, what's Itching youT
About half of the saloon drug stores
In Kansas must go out of business be
cause their whisky barrels have been
plugged up. But the bootlegger Is still
doing business as usual.
Georgia 'possum and Louisiana boulll
chase are not the Alpha and Omega of
appetising delicacies. At the New York
Canadian club dinner "deviled white
lllultller, grilled boaconstrictor and roast
monkey" were among the confection
dished up.
New Tork Is patting itself on the back
In having a woman wfreless operator, as
though.lt was a new vocation for the sex.
Women have been wlrelss operators ever
since Kve started vibrations around
Adam's fifth rib. And she will remain on
the Job as long as her eyes shine and her
sighs wave the message to man.
YOU MAKE
On the First Payment raid Down
on any New Piano on our retail floor.
In other words every dollar paid down, up to $25.00,
we credit your two for one.
Fine new pianos selling for $165, $175, $190,' $200, $250,
$275 and up.
At above prices you make a saving of from $50 to $75,
then add the $25 we credit you on your $25 down pay
ment will net you a saving of $100. .
Hundreds of pianos to select from. Great makes like
the Kranach & Bach, Krakauer, Kimball, Hallet & Davis,
Bush & Lane, Cable-Nelson, Victor, Cramer, Burton and
Hospe pianos.
Pianos which are selling regularly at $250, $300, $350,
$400 and up go on sale today at prices showing the big sav
ing of from $50 to $100. .
Terms of from $5, $f, $7, $8 to $10 per month. Stool
and scarf free.
USED PIANOS
Chickering: & Sons, Wood, Smith, Weser Bros., Kfng,
Mason-FaxreU Imperial, Kimball Players, Angelus Players
and other used good pianos and Players at prices to paralyze
competition $50 buys some. $75 others, $100 still others,
and just a little dowu and a little weekly pavs for them.
REMEMBER WE CARRY THE KRANICH & BACH,
KRAKAUER, BUSH-LANE AND KIMBALL PIANOS
A. HOSPE CO., 1513 Douglas St.
WESTERN AGENTS fOR APOLIX PLAYER PIANO.
1
the EQUITABIE
LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
"Strongest in the World"
Policies Sight Dralts at Maturity
PAUL MORTON. Prslient
B. D. NEELY, Mgr.. Merchants Kat. Bank B14g.
Omaha, Neb., March 6, 1909.
Society, Omaha, Nebraska.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
She (belllgnrently) Do you know vf any
stste in the union In which woman has
the upper hand without the ballot?
He Oh, tea.
Rhe-What state la It?
11- (meekly) The state of matrimony.
Baltimore American.
Stella What were the favors at her din
ner? Bella Well, the gueste thouarht they did
her a fnvor hy coming, and she thought
thfy did her a favor by leaving. New
York Sun.
Maud Vy fiance Is a heartless wretch.
Vtelle What's the trouble?
Maud-I've got a better offer and h
won't release me from our engagement.
Boston Transcript.
IJttleton Where's Klxann 'going with
the sledire hammer?
Jollyton To call on the handsome Sally
Terthy. Somebody told him she had
heart of stone. Judge.
"But, Alfred," she said, "how can we
live on 14 a week?" s
"That means, I suppose." faltened tha
young man, "that you expect tr throw u
that a week Job of yours after we are
married" Chicago Tribune.
"James," protested the fsther, "what
do you means by boring holes Into that
big tree?" v
"Father. I'm a benefactor," said the bey,
plvlng his auifiir a few more vicious turns.
"I'm making knot holes In base ball fences
for poor boys." Puck.
"So you think every patriot has a mnr
or less clearly defined ambition to hold
public office?"
"Yes." answered Senator Sorghum. "As
a rule patriots may be divided into two
classes: the appointed and tha disap
pointed." '
"Women are so emancipated from house
hold duties now," cried the reactionist,
"It's clubs and pink teaa and political
meetings, hut never home. Wlierx la the
good old-fashioned washday, now?"
"Where I always waa," replied the
smsrt club woman. "It Is going by the
board." Baltimore American.
THE DEPARTED FRIEND.
Itobert Louis Stevenson.
1 hough he that, ever kind and true,
Kept stoutly step by step with you
Your whole, long, gusty lifetime through.
Be gone a while before
Be now a moment gone before.
Yet doubt not anon the seasons shall re
store - . . .
Ycur friend to you, , , ..j, t
He has but turned a corner still
He pushes on with right good will
ThrouKh mire and marsh, by heugh and
hill.
That selfsame arduous way
That selfsame, upland, hopeful way v
That you and he through many a doubtful
day
Attempted still.
He Is not dead, this friend not dead;'
But In the path we rwrtals tresd
Got some few trifling steps ahesd
And nesrer to the end.
So that you. too. once pest this bend,
thall meet again, aa, face to face, thl
friend
Ycu fancy dead.
Push gayly on. strong heart! The while
You travel forward nvle by mile,
lie lotters with a. backward smile,
Till you can overtake,
And strains his eyes to sesrch his wske.
Or, whistling, as he sees you through the
brake.
Waits on a stile.
Better Bread
More of It
TMTY IT .
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