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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 12, 1908)
1 Till: OMAHA Kl'XDAY 11KK: JULY 12. 190. Telephone Douglas 618 Reaches All Departments. Our Great Clearing Sale of Fine Petticoats Commences MONDAY At O A. IVI. A sale that moans a great saving to you on account of the high quality of the goods offered; linked with low prices. All the black and colored silk petticoats, all the wush petticoats and all the black heatherbloom petticoats to go in Monday's great clearing sale at the following reduced prices: Wash Petticoats, regularly fl.uO, Monday sale price, each sold at .75c Wash Petticoats, regularly $1.75, Monday sale price, each sold at ..88c Wash Petticoats, regularly sold at $2.25, Monday sale price, each Isls&Z We have about 12 Lawn Petticoats in pale blue and pink, which arc eomewhat faded by being In our show windows. These petticoats Bold regularly at $1.50. Monday clearing sale price 25c. All the black Petticoats regularly sold at $1.50 and $1.75, Monday Clearing sale price $1.00. All the fin black Heatherbloom Petticoats regularly sold at $2.75, Monday Clearing sale price $1.76. All the fine black Heatherbloom Petticoats regularly sold at $4.50, Monday clearing sale price $3.00. Silk Petticoats, in Black and Colors All the fine Taffeta Silk Petticoats regularly Bold at $12.50. Monday Clearing sale price $7.00. Al the fina Taffeta Silk Petticoata regularly Bold at $10.50, Monday Clearing sale price $8.50. All the fine Taffeta Silk Petticoats regularly sold at $8.50, Monday Clearing sale price $5.00. All the fins Taffeta Silk Petticoata regularly sold at $C.OO, Monday Clearing sale price $3.75. Great Clearing Sale of Fancy Linens Commencing Monday at 9 A. M. These beautiful fancy linen pieces consist of real Cluny Lare piece, Japanese drawn work Scarfs, embroidered Scarrs, embroidered Lunch Cloths, embroidered Center Pieces, em broidered Shams, worth up to $4.00, Monday your choice of any of these pieces at, each $1.00. Judging from the many inquiries we have had from these goodH being displayed in our windows, there will be a lively clearing. Como early. Special $1.00 Pretty Novelty Silks, Monday, Per Yard, 29c. A variety of the most fashlonablo effects. Every piece of silk is tip to our careful standard of quality. Notice the dainty pretty patterns. The new Pekln stripes, dainty pin stripes, here and there small broche figures, in the new Copenhagen blue, heliotrope, green, etc., for costumes and waists. Your choice Monday 29c. Also the popular rough silk 27 Inches wide In gray and garnet, $1.00 quality, at 29c per yard. The Newest Wash Belts You will find them here, and they are not high priced either. Dainty linen belts embroidered In back only, finished with pearl buckle, each 76c. Pretty linen belts embroidered all around, finished with pearl buckle, 75c, $1.00, $1.25 and $1.50 each. Kor Monday we offer a few wash belts that have become Boiled from display, at each, only 10c. You will find here a wonderful variety of beltings for those who wish to make up their belts. White embroidered wash belting, also fancy beltings in brown, navy, white and gold at lMiC, 2c, 3c, 4c an inch. If its belts or beltings come here first. Extra Specials for Monday Special Clearing Sale of Wash Goods The great sale that occurs ones a year, Is now on. Many women nave ueeu waiting for It, and those tnat know come early vu ecure the choicest styles. Our 25c and 35c Scotch Madras and Zephyr Ginghams at, per yard 15c. Our 50c Silk Ginghams and plain colored Silk Mulls, at, per yard 2 5c. Our 60c R. A. Whitelaw & Sons Zephyr Ginghams, at, per yard 25c. Our 2 5c Voiles in checks and stripes at, per yard 15c. Our 30c Linen Voiles, solid colors at, per yard 15c. Our 25c, 30c and 40c Silk Mulls in solid colors, at yard, 15c. And many other special bargains that you must see to apprec iate them. All the tailor suits in wool Special sale ot Lingerie Special sale of Separate Special Bale of ail House goods at half price. Drosses. Skirts. for Monday. i i i "W. B. Reduso" Corsets The perfect corset for large women. It places over-developed women on the same basis as their slender sinters. By its scientific construction It tapers off the bust and absolutely reduces the abdo men and hips from 1 to S Inches without the aid of torturing; straps or harness-like devices. If jwu are in need of this style do not fail to trtup at our rirset department, second floor. We also have a special bargain In bust supporters, reduced to 2!ic each. Just the thing to be worn with shirt waists. Ask to see them. Women's Neckwear Half Price Monday One can tine more neckwear these days than ordinarily. Mon day's sale offers an exceptional opportunity to lay In a supply at a great saving. Pretty summer stocks in white and colors, regular price 26c. Monday your choice at, each, ltViC. Fancy stocks In white and colors, regular price 76c and 60c. Monday your choice at, each, 37 Vic and 25c. A fine variety of Jabots In white and colors, regular prices $2.00 11.75-, $1.25, $1.00, 75c and COc; all go In Monday's salo at Just half these prices. Special Sale of Fine Nottingham Lace Curtains !1.B0 White Nottingham I.ace Curtains at, per pair 9Bo 2.00 White Nottingham Lace Curtains at, per padr 11.39 2.50 White Nottingham Lacs Curtains at, per pair 81.78 $3.00 White Nottingham L.ace Curtains at, per pair $1.98 3.60 White Nottingham lace Curtains at, per pair $3.a - See our Howard street window. Special Clearing Sale of Wash Goods Remnants The accumulation of remnants is tremendous, and forces us to make prices extraordinary low. Goods that usually sell at 15c, 20c, 25c, 30c yard, you tan now buy in remnant lengths from two to twelve yards, at. per yard, Monday only 6c. When tired out from shopping, visit our cool and cozy rest room. Third floor. Manicuring la connection. We close at S P. M. during July and Augrt, except ing Saturdays M liSO 7. M. U-7-12-S. Real Indian Head shrunk Mus lin for white suits. 36 inches wide at 15c per yard. 45 Inches wide at 20c per yard. HARD KNOCKS AT THE DOOR We passed In, while strong arm reached out and rushed back Jones, following close after. Ws heard the fateful word "TVkrU"; Jones eager explaining that he was consul to Japan and had an Impor tsnt message to the chairman, and then the same old request: "Move on, and don't block up the stairs." An hour later, after rllmhins? all over the IMPOSING GREATNESS ON GUARD coliseum, and Interviewing doiens of af fable but powerless gentlemen, we found a Trying Experience of a Pilgrim Get ting Into Chicago Convention. Talks on Teeth The Gospel ol Good Teelh. We are going to preach a short sermon. ( taking our text from "llie iioenci i w Teelh. worried official who hung the official hardware upon our coats and turned us loose, privileged to roam about the con vention hall and sit down In any seat that wasn t occupied. The F.lephant Trick. In the evening, tired and footsore from A national political convention Is a small Mng po-stled about the hall. I met Jones Fifty Thousand reople with ft "roll" Trr It on Policemen, t'shera and Doorkeepers The F.lephant tlnb Trick. body of delegates entirely surrounded by personal, friends who have no tickets, it Is held as a rule lni a great hall which seats lR.niio, who are trying to nominate n presi dent. But that Is the smallest part ot the convention. Outside of the hall are BO.Ono people, who are struggling with the terrific task of trying to gt In again. He was radiantly happy. "Go In?" I asked. "Of course," said Jones, throwing back his head, and ermhollng his thumbs. Didn't I tell you that 1 always attend a national convention?" "How did you do ItT" I asked. 8-s-h," said Jones. He pulled from his When I arrived In Chicago last week, the pocket a little gilt button wHh an elephant first mnn I saw was Jones. Jones has attended rvrry republican national conven tion In the last twenty years. The first time he went In on a ticket. Four years later he went through the door behind fat man. Fnur years after thnt a friend gave him a red cross badge, and he dashed Into the Coliseum with a medicine case, waving back the doorkeeper Imperiously. The next convention he found a window that wasn't guarded. The next time he dis guised himself as an assistant Janitor, got in at 4 n. m., and hid In the basement hall Until the opening, six hours later. At homes, Jones Is an ex-mayor, a poll- upon It. "Bee that?" he said. I mei Clarke downtown at noon, and he gave me that button. Told men to go to the door K T, put this button In my coat, find a doorkeeper with a button of the same kind on, walk up to him, tap him twlcs on the vest front, say: 'Oood morning, Bill,' and pass In. I did It and It worked Ilka a charm. The elephant club Is the best yet." "Hut how did you get a seat?" I asked. "Easiest thing In the world," ea!J Jones. The ushers are all green, anyway. 1 picked the best seat 1 could find, and when the usher came to put m out, I tapped my button and asked him If he didn't know better than to order a member of the tlclan of some Importance, and a director state central committee around'-Qeorge in a Dame, in Chicago last week he was pitch In Collier s Weekly. one ii me w.vw people wno were trying to get Into a conversion hall that would seat. ONE PIRATED VICTORY AT GOLF hi tne ouisme, ls.ono people. There was this difference between Jones and some of the llaffy's "kill I'selee When Opposed others. Jones knew ho was going to get In. by Schmidt's Base Ball Tactics lie had always gotten In. It was contrary "Speaking of excitement," said the ex to precedent that he shouldn't get In, He professional to a bunch of golf enthusiasts didn't know how he was going to do It, "I have always held that a man should but he had always done It, and he has the when playing hold down the, lid on his fitio- politician's reverence for precedent. I tlons. ' Last summer I saw a man named 'Who are they going to nominate?" I Baffy lose a match he wanted badly to aRked, using the popular form of salu-1 w,n because he got separated from hit self-control. 'A base ball player named Schmidt pirated the victory. He had a big contempt for the grand Scotch game, and whenever it was mentioned he uttered considerable disdainful prattle. Baffy overheard and they had a heated argument that ended by the base ball player, though he had never seen a links, betting that he could trim the golfer at his own game. "The next day they got together on the links of the Swattle Country club. Schmidt won the honor. He handled the driver as awkward as a schoolboy walttes, but he hit the ball a sledge hammer blow and got off a IDO-yard drive, "He threw down his club and ran after tatlon. vvnat do I care about that?'' said Jones, Impatiently; "I've bigger business than that on hand. Let the delegates at tend to that. I've got to get Into that nan. ueen here since last night and haven't struck a lead yet." "Tickets scarce?" I asked. scarce, said Jones, explosively. "Man, there are more north poles sticking up In tront or barber shops that theie are conven- tion tickets. I never saw such confounded absence of accommodation In my life. I've been to five conventions, and I swear there are less tickets every year. I believe the Idiots only print 1.000 tickets and make the rest of us work our way In. It s enough to the ball at top speed. We yelled like a make a man lost his faith In the tariff." calliope for him to stop, but ho kept going "There are seventy-five fellows from our until he had his foot on the ball. We lug own town here," continued Jones, plain, god out his slicks and were five minutes tlvely, "and only eleven of thorn are fixed, hitting him In the understanding with the tour years ago we gave the blpgcst re- fuet that sprinting Isn't a part of golf. publkun majority In the stato, too. It's "This contretemps had Baffy woozy with awful. Tho congressman can't do any- laughter. His mirth got so abundant that thing. He's been trying to get a ticket he was off his poise on his swing. He for his wife all morning. They say sen- sliced Into the jungle and used three more ator got 100 tickets this morning for t0 Set backJnto the paths of navigation his business friends. Damn these sen- "This had him shaken with temper, and tors anyway! I know a man who knows hlB riext shot he went back Into the tall the senator, and I've been trying to find fdJt,r. Schmidt had a lie on a heap of him all morning, but I don't suppose It Ioose Brass and poked the ball Into the sky. will do any good. Baffy was hurrying on with his eye glued "Oh. I ll pet In all right," he continued to the 8pot where his ball had disappeared. hastily. "I'd like to see the convention MUlt ' ou "Bter: Bchmldt yelled, You owe It to yourself and to those de pending upon vnu, or with whom you as sociate, to rnrllate good healih, and you can t radiate sood health unless you have good teeth. Honin of us live to eat, but we must all en l lo live, and If we don't eat properly and masticate our food proper ly, we won t live long. There ueeu 10 ne. some excuse for those people, who had missing teeth, or whose teeth were loose for tue only iixkim mice they could se cure was from a partial plate, which Is a very poor substitute, or, from ordinary bridge work, that is hut little better when It comes to appearance. Hy our Improved, method we guarantee to give you teeth that are as serviceable and beeiutlful as your natural teeth. These teeth once. In the mouth are as firm ard solid as a rock. If your teeth are loose, we tighten them and cure lyorrhea (diseased gums ) If vou are skeptical and doubt as to our ability, we can give yvu ail the proof that la necessary to convlee you that we ran do all we claim. If you live, at a dis tance and cannot call at oneo ws wilt gladlv mall you our booklet on the origi nal Alveolar method along with a book of testimonials. We practice the original Al veolar method and this work cannot be had west of Chicago, outside of our office. Beware of Imitators using the word Al veolar. We do all work pertaining to the care of the tenth. Have you seen our Al veolar crowns? Dr. E. R. L. Murphy 510 N. Y. Lite Bldrj., Omaha. Formerly consulting and examining den tlst with G. Gordon Martin. " 'I didn't even swing,' Baffy returned. " 'You made a balk!' yelled Schmidt. "Before hostilities could cominenco I again explained to Schmidt that he was thinking on the wrong side of tho street. But Baffy was sore and his play went far to the bad. 8chmldt showed his lack of form and each registered seven strokoa getting to the green. "Bnffy's ball lay close to Schmidt's about an Inch back. He putted, and Instantly 8chmldt made a sweep with his broom that sent Baffy's pallet f tn0 Brccn and his own into the hole. " 'What do you mean by that?" Baffy shouted. " 'I was only working the squeeze game,' Schmidt answered. "Baffy replied by slamming Bchmldt In the chest with his putter. I got them un tangled finally and started In to coach Schmidt. "But Baffy's nerve was gone and he was beaten, two up, with a medal score of t22." hall I can't get into. But this time I want to go In respectable. I'm tired of crawling in windows. I'm getting along In years. I want to go up to one of those infernal doorkeepers and shove a printed ticket half-way down his throat. I'm going to do it, too, but there are only three hours loft. Come along, and maybe I'll get you In." Chasing Chips. Now you've got It. Look out!' What's the matter?' Baffy said, as tonished, turning around. You've misjudged It,' the ball player eald In an insulting tone. ' 'What game do you thing you're play ing, you Idiot?' Baffy asked. "Schmidt thought Baffy was trying to catch his fly and attempted to rattle him. By the time we had explained Baffy had mislaid his bearings as to where his ball mltee your 'dissent as to the provision of federal action within state lines." How Psrkrr ot-l. trary we will give our loyal support to fas action of the convention, and In this our action will be entirely consistent. We hava UNIFORM BILL OF LADING Judge Parker hesitated a moment, ana "V. "Z TVder.1 Tcmrniaainn flivM Section ivia in ine uuiuiiii un; diiurcu a . ci j ,,,- - v v u. - then replied: "I don't like any secrecy In public af fairs, and I don't mind telling you that I did record my dissent from tho platform on account of this and certain other provis ions, as I propose to fight this battle over again In some later convention. The situa tion was Just like this: I and a few others wont into tho platform committee differing with other members on the question of re sisting federal encroachments on state home rule. Wo were confronted with a marked difference of views. But let mo say that throughout the long and trying sessions of the committee there wb never any varla- row margin of only four votes against us ; to New Form. on this niOHt Important provision on which . we differ. On the other hand, the Boose- I volt administration Is clmmltted irrepara- TWO KINDS ARE RECOMMENDED bly to central domination over the states, j , Our choice, therefore. Is plain. It la with 0lle 0, to H Certaln Decree of wie puny wnose irauiuons are lor me con- I Negotiability Adoption by the Itailroads Is Greatly Desired. Ktitutional effect of the states against fed eral encroachment. We not only support the ticket, but our only hope of preserving the status quo on these doctries is to elect the ticket. Those who feel as I do wilt understand that a republican senate will never consent to turn over 10 a aemocratio . ,,. ... , .... ,h m,,t nf i UliiB IIUW 111 wnu v w .-- - - WASHINGTON. July 11 A new uniform I mil OI laaing aesigneu am a nuuawium president any further extension of power. tlon from the utmost good .feeling amjng Aml thu, tne preent situation will be con. the members. The spirit of give and take ti,ulcd unt. we shall have another oppor always prevailed. It made me feel glad tunlty to fight another battle within party :hat I had attended the convention. It also lines." gave me the point of view of those hav ing honest differences of opinion with me n questions of principles. Whllo some of the contentions urgee by part of my as sociates wore contrary to those of my ed acatlon and belief, yet I could not but feel that they were as sincere and honest In their convictions as I was In mine. The one dominating sentiment was to formulate platform which would state honestly to ie public the views of Its framers." K up port i.f Tlelte ti--- It was suggested to Judge Parker that ilnce he had dissonted from this provision f the platform he and his friends might kestltate to support the ticket. "Not at all," he replied. "On the con- 1 3 MIIIIXEK W1U, GO TO LINCOLN John W. Kern Will Visit Mr. Bryan on Hie War Home. INDIANAPOLIS, Ind.. July 11. Tele grams received here last night from John W. Kerrj, democratic candidate for vice president, announce that he will remain at Denver until Monday, when he will go to Lincoln with the members of the national democratic committee to call on Mr. Bryan. Mr. Kern will reach Chicago Wednesday and will return to Indianapolis Thursday. Arrangements are being made for his re ception here. A big civic celebration is being planned. Mayor Book waiter and John Hollett, pres ident of the Commercial club, who is pres ident also of the Indiana Democratic club, have begun arrangements. 'It must be an affair In which the people of Indianapolis, Irrespective of party, will be asked to participate," said the mayor today. "When Vice President Fairbanks returned home after his nomination, one of the happleet and heartiest addressee of welcome was made by John W. Kern." u u $40 AISD $30 SUMMER SUITS THIS WEEK CNLY $20.00 MAHK-TO-OIIDF.R SCAD si XM OUai, Herzog Tailoring CO. NATIONAL COMMITTEE COMING . Special Train Will Bear Members te I.lneoln. ' DENVER, July 11. A special train bear ing the members of the national committee and newspaper correspondents to call upon William J. Bryan, the democratic nomi nee for president, will leave here for Lin coln over the Chicago, Rock Island & Pa cific railroad at I o'clock Monday evening. Mrs. Ruth Bryan-Leavltt also will be with the party. They will arrive at Lin eoln at 8 o'clock .Tuesday morning. Beta! Loral Bid. fcfcerman e I ndergo Operation. I'TICA. N. Y., July ll.-Jamee S. Sher man, the republican vice presidential can didate, waa well enough today to visit his business office and remo,tn there an hour. He expecta a visit from Chairman Hitch cock of the national committee some time next week. It la announced that Mr. Sherman will be operated on In one of the hospitals In this city, probably ten days or two wekt hi niUoellaneuus freight and general mer chandise was today approved and Its adoption recommended to the common car riers of the country and the shipping public by the Interstate Commerce commission, The new bill ot lading provides two forms, printed on the face side In different colors, one for "straight" and one for "order" consignments. The "order" bill will possess a certain degree of negotiabil ity, while the "straight" bill will be non negotiable. The "order" bill must be surrendered upon delivery of the property to the con slgnee. This plan Is expected to largely meet the requirements of the banking con corns of the country which advance vaat sums of money on bills of lading. The changes have all been in the direction of greater simplicity In the Interest of the shipping public. The bill Is more or less a compromise. It Imposes Important obliga tions which carriers have not heretofore assumed, but retains exceptions to which some shippers may object. The commission recommends that the new bill be adopted generally on September 1. Hwltrk Cod nee tlons. The Interstate Commerce commission to day announced a doclslon holding that tne Hepburn act does not grant plenary dis cretion to the commission to refuse an application for switch oonectlons with lat eral branch roads. It decides that it is the duty of 'nterstate commerce carriers to conect with a lateral branch road if reasonably predicable, safe and justified by sufficient business, upon application of either the lateral line or the shipper. The case was that of the Rahway Valley railroad, lying entirely within the limits of Union county. New Jersey, the commis sion ordering the Delaware, I.ckawanna Wectern to furnish switch collection at Summit, N. J. Dr. Cook Heard From. NEW YORK. July 11. Dr. Frederick A. Cook of Brooklyn, the explorer, who Is Irvine- to reach the north pole by a new route through the Nanses strait and whose friends were fearful that he had met dis aster In the frosen north, has been heard from. A letter written by the explorer last December, wss received today by his wife, who Is living in Brooklyn, staling that he hoted to start for lila goal in January. No word had been received from Ir. Cook since last October. Advertise In The Bee; It goes Into the homes of the bet people. LATEST WORD IN BATTLESHIPS England Starts In to Dent Its Otto Record Chn nates In Big Gnus. When the Dreadnought was laid down, only three years ago, it was said that It would reduce all existing battleships to the scrap heap. The St. Vincent tegun at the end of last December, was said by a British naval authority In a burst of rather tropical enthusiasm to be "Infin itely" superior to the Dreadnought. "In finitely" In that case probably mea.it about JO per cent. Now the Ixmdon Tele graph asserts that a new type Is to bo laid down to eclipse the St. Vlhceit. The Dreadnought Is of 17,X) tons and the it. Vincent of 19,!KO. The new monster is expected to reach 21,000. But site la in be one of tho least of Its distinctions. It is to go back to 13.6-lnch guns, abandoned In the British navy for all ships within the last seventeen years. The modern twclve incM fifty-elght-ton gun, firing an 860-pound projectile at 2.000 feet per second, has a muzxlo energy over one-third greater than that developed by one of the 13.5-inch sixty-nlne-ton guns of the Royal Sover elgn, which fires a 1.200-pound shell at 2,016 feet per second, and it will pierce seven tetn Inches of Krupp steel armor ut 3,0u0 yards, whllo the Royal Sovereign's guns will pierce only eleven Inches. The size of guns oscillates from age to age. Over tot) years ago the Turks had some that would have held Mr. Taft In comfort. They used to fire stone cannon balls that weighed 600 pounds apiece. Then the pieces grew smaller for ease of handling, and when better methods of handling were Invented they grew larger again. At one time the Italian navy had guns of 17 Inches, firing shells that weighed a ton apiece. The lust American battleships to carry lS-lnch guns were the Alabama, Illinois and Wisconsin, launched ten years ago. The largest since that have been the 12-Inch. Now It seems that bigger weapons are to be In fashion again. A still more remarkable innovation In the new British ship Is to be the use ot gas engines, making funnels unnecessary. Among other advantages, this will remove the temptation for careless persons In air- chips to drop bombs down the smokestacks, Max Pemberton equipped his Iron Ilrate with gas engines fifteen years ago, pre dicting that this would be the motive power for the fleets of the future another 11 lustration, like so many In the career of Jules Verne, of the superiority of fiction over fact. The gas engine threatens to end the reign of the turbine before It has fairly begun. It Is estimated that the proponed Brit lah super-Dreadnougnt will cost fcomethlng like (II 600,000. Of course it could not be duplicated In this country for less than (16.000,000. and If we take the lead in the competition with 26.0U-ton snips, as Mr. Hobson urges, we must be prepared to pay at least 120,OCO,000 apiece for them. And about that time a 00,000 flying machine mav send them all to the museum of anllqullUs.-Colller's Weekly. We went over to the Annex. It was lay. It was hopelessly lost, and he gave ud lull or solemn men who were discussing, the hole, pink with rage. not presidential candidates, but door- "Schmidt reached the green with his next krepers. We met In rapid succession a shot, lie tussled manfully with the putter, supervisor, an Alderman, a member of the but Is cost him four to hole out. He did'nt legislature, and three members of the I y much, but whispered something to his county central committee from our city, caddy, who ran off. In each case tho salutlon wus the same: The next hole was a four bogey. Baffy "Where can I cet a ticket?" haJ himself in hand and both players We found Teller from our town. He la drove close to the green. Schmidt grabbed elwcys an assistant sergeant-at-arms, but one ot nls irons and made an approach mat surprised himself. The pellet ran dead we looked In vain for the three-pound piece of bronie hardware which dlstln gulslies this Impressive personage. Teller was mad about It, too. "Here's my com mission." he complained, waving a piece of parchment as elaborately engraved as a bank-note. "And just because I didn't coine up here lust Saturday and call for my badge, they've given It to some other fellow. They'll got this blamed conven to the hole. Then we all jumped, for Schmidt yelled and made a tremendous slide. " ' He's craiy!' Baffy exclaimed. "Schmidt got up sheepishly and brushed himself. " 'I got a little excited.' he said, grinning. "Baffy was boiling over with contemnt and topped his approach, letting go a two foot shove, lie Wpnt .ln.a , , V. . . ... Hon so perfected pretty soon that nobody hl. nt, n(1 lt wa Bchmldt . put. at all can get Into It. .., ,,, nm, ,. ., - " " "O " i' .m iiauuuu 'Of course, I can got In," he hastened to add; "Lowden or Johnson or Clarke or any of the boys will got rne In. But that Isn't the point. I want to get out again. want to got out on the sidewalk and got our boys In. Four years ago I had n underground railroad started ton min utes after I pot my budge. We got every him a broom. What are you going to do with that'' Baffy demanded. I'm going to put with it," Schmidt re piled " 'No, you're not, you mullet head!" Baffv yelled. "Schmidt demanded to be sh own uhv i,t Peoria man in while there wro thousands and Baffy pulled out a book of rule. ri waiting on tho outside. This Is an out- flipped the leaves like counting mn. rage. I'm going down to the coliseum to but he failed to dig up a statute prescribing w ouuui n. i or proKcriDin a elven form . ni, Knocking at the Door, Doorkeeper Ticket. Prominent Citizen I have an appoint ment with senator Doorkor per Ticket Stars and Stripes "The ball player grabbed the bundle of splints and with a strong sweep sent the ball into tho depression. "Baffy waa so furious he couldn't sneak. His anger had him excited and he putted Prominent Cltlxen I tell you I have an six times In finding the cup, appoint Doorkeeper -Have you a ticket? Prominent Citizen No, I haven't but If I can find sen" Policeman Don't block up the stairs. Step down. Prominent Citizen This Is an out Another Policeman -You can't stand on the walk In front of the door. Move on Prominent Citizen How will I get my ticket If I can't get- Third Policeman You can't stand In the street. Move on. After witnessing one or two of these tragedies, we went timidly up to a colored mun who wora a doorkeeper's badge and was bursting at the seams with grandeur. To him we bowed humbly and presented commissions calling for an 'assistant ser- geant-at-arms Duage ana a press Daage u tent hU ba aheaa accompanied presented to a gentlen.an wnnm no one naa rhunk of turf ever been able to find two days before the "At the next tee Schmidt swatted foehlv far to the left of the driving hump. Baffy made a desperate swing and moved the pill 176 yards ahead. He turned to gloat, hut made only a strangling sound. Schmidt bad picked up his ball and was preparing to drive again. 'What are you trying to do?" Buffy yelled. " 'That's a foul and didn't count. I'm driving again,' Schmidt replied. "Baffy waa beside himself. He yanked forth his book of rules and hurled lt into the ball player's face. "When Schmidt found out he was wrr.ng he apologized and dropped the ball hack Into the grass. He had two swipes dlrclng lt out and then drove up a little ahead of Baffy. The golfer waa so fussed that he hy a convention began at a sptclfled hour. 'I don't want them things." said the magnificence rudely; "tickets." "These call for tickets," we said. "Don't core what dey call for. You-all got tickets?" Innocent Spectators. Then we becumo the victims of the same highly perfected system, by which one policeman after another eased us off the steps, off the sidewalk, off the street, and out of the vicinity. We stood and watched the throng. There was nothing else to do. It was a sad-eyed, but hopeful, crowd. There were veteran republicans who had attended every convention for thirty years young men, powerful In the wards at home; men with plenty of Influence with the wrong people; men who had to get Into that hall or acknowledge themselves un Inaitrnlfteftnt noli t trail V. TkCn . stormed the dr.or. ourselves stance that fitted his feet He nisde once more, and fotfnd a doorkeeper wKh backward swing, but stopped and shifted more resDect for Harry New's signature I his pedal poise. than the negro doorkeeper had evinced. " 'Una stroke SclinUdt suld. "Schmidt swung vigorously, but mlssoU the globe. " "One stroke,' Daffy said cheerlngly. " 'No, that's a strike,' Schmidt answere.1. Baffy looked confused and the ball player again walloped the oxygen. " "Two strokes.' Baffy said. " 'No, two strikes," Schmidt returned. " "Call 'em what you like, you owe your self a pair of swats,' said Baffy. " 'I haven't mado a stroke until I've msde three strikes,' Bchmldt insisted. "Baffy made a lip for his antagonist, but I Jumped in betaeen. Then I told Schmidt that his ideas on golf needed a recount. I got them playing on peaceful terms again, though Schmidt !eit on put ting with his broom, and that inaie Baffy ache with anger. "At the tenth tee Baffy's nerves were playing leapfrog, and he couldn't find a Oh. What Jor. "Cured at last! Oh. what Joy to think that I have at last been cured of that awful bowel trouble," pre the words of A. O. Butler of Cold Springs, Tex., who suffered off and on for twelve months with a dis order of his bowels, and finally, after almost giving up In despair, was cured by Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera, and Diar rhoea remedy. No one need suffer fnvn colic or diarrhoea for this remedy always gives prompt relief. For salo by all drug gists. Dostoneae Hase Hall. The seml-clrcular erections were spirit ually magnificent with their bevies of Bark Hay beauties seated thereon when the or ganization from Harvard traversed the Held In a gentlemanly fashion. One student seized tho willow where It gave the greatest levnBO and st-mk a graceful attitude. However, he struck nothing else, for ho who evolves the sphere now entered Into a series of remarkable contortions from which the globe finally emerged., describ ing a perfect rarftbola. whose orbit seemed unapproachable to the disconcerted scient ist. The process being repeated three con secutive times, the unfortunate student re tired, bursting into tears. His successor out more successful, suc ceeding In approaching Into closer prox imity to the spheroid, which he ejected Violently Into the len-nanti pruu -. lt passed peacefully away Into the hands of an unsympathetic barbarian. (At this point the reporter was ejected.) Harvnrd Iiniboon. Skinned trout Head to Heel was Ben Pool, Threet, Ala., when drnir-' god over a gravel roadway; but Buek len's Arnica Salve cured hltn. 25c. For siile by Beaton Drug Co. The Plumber's Derby. The compasslonato citizen remarked to his plumber: "Gus, If 1 wore a plumber and hnd to crawl Into small nooks and corners as you do. 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