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THE OMAIIA SUNDAY BEE: SEPTEMBER 29, 1007.
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....OHJR. NEW PLANT....
Constructed Strictly in Accordance Wittn
U. !S. Rg?ulation and Pure 3FoorJ Laws
IVflost
Complete,
Convenient
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Modern
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Where
PURE FOOD
Prepared With
ED BEEF, rVttUXTTOM AND 1POIRIK
IMSHlstto2 Mairini, IBFeailkflaikBti Oaicoim
Sausage and Luncheon Specialties
Visitors Cordially Invited
SOILJTjH OMAHA, NEB.
THIS TOWN GOES THIRSTY
Became Iti Citizen Were Not Quick
at Figures.
FIRE STARTS A SWIFT DEBATE
Rel.tlT. V.l.e of Water and Lumber
I. Death Vallcr Wu la iae
tlon ud tk. Drl.k En
porlam Bra.
U KEEN WATER, Cal.. Sept. 18. If there
had been aa much knowledge of mathe
matics among the cltlseni of thia flourishing
desert town as there are fleas, Chuckwala
Charley Hennes.y's drink emporium, the
Deal h Valley Vault, would not have burned
to the ground last night. Because the
leading citizens in this town are not aa
quick at figures aa they are at raising be
fore the draw, Oreenwater has been robbed
of its chief center of moral and social up
lift. Today the boy are admitting that
mental arithmetic beata presence of mind.
Chuckwala Charley's saloon burned be
cause the leading members of the com
munity could not flcure out on the spur of
ths moment whether It would be cheaper
to let the place burn and rebuild it with
lumber at $U a thousand feet or to put the
fire out with water costing 18 a barrel.
While the discussion went on the fire
got so far that the party in favor of using
the water were squelched by fece of cir
cumstances. Of course, they put up a holler right
away, but pow It us up to Chuckwala
Charley to tote a couple of wagon loads of
pine across Death valley at the present
high teaming rates. The lumber baa to be
hauled thirty miles; water has to come
only about twelve miles.
Climate at ISreeawater.
The situation in Oreenwater la unusual.
Some months ago a real estate boomer
put an advertisement in a Los Angeles
paper which said tlist Oreenwater was a
garden spot of the desert, kissed by the
warm anl healthglving rays of a perennial
sun and blossoming like the rose.
He was right about the kisses. The
average sun klsa here in the north end of
Death valley registers about 126 degrees
Fahrenheit ten months out of the year, and
occasionally the Death Valley Dead One
has to suspend publication because Its Ink
rollers melt.
As for the garden business, there is a
fine collection of tomato cans out back
of Sandy Hedges' place and the Joshua
tree grows plentifully la these parts. In
passing it may be added that the man
who put that advertisement In the Los
Angeles papers went dippy from sunstroke
up In the Funerals back of town about
a week after he committed the crime.
Since a tnlagulded mortal picked out this
site for a town about a year ago because
he grubbed up some copper outcropping
down where the foot of the main street
now Is quite a few Individuals have come
here to Uke a parboiling treatment and
prospect for more copper, some gold and
grub to eat meanwhile.
Matter et Waeala.
They usually Uke a good wash at Mojave
"before coming Into the valley and. If they
live to get back to Mojave they take an
other wash at the end of the Journey in
Mike Stetson's commodious rain barrel.
Oaif those follows who bet t&tt oa a I
busted flush before the draw can afford to
take a bath all over In Greenwater. But
right here mention must be made of the
enterprise of Chuckwala Charley that en
deared hla emporium to the populace.
When Chuckwala put up the Vault he
painted a sign and hung it behind the bar.
"Free Wash With Every Drink," the sign
read. And Chuckwala stuck by bis con
tract. After you had bought your two fingers
of squirrel whisky and paid extra for a
water chaser, if you felt you could afford it,
all you had to do was to go out back of the
saloon) and there a China boy would pour
out about three Inches of real water In a
washbasin and you could loosen the surface
crust on your face.. The wits In town called
this a homoeopathic bath. Chuckwala s
homoeopathies made an Instant hit with the
cltlsens, and the custom of taking a wah
had grown up about the Vault until It was
recognised as one of the features of Oreen
water s social life.
Water Cart Is Lost. ,
Now it happened that several days ago
BUI Hasklns, who drives the .water cart
from Ash Creek to Oreenwater every day
and thus supplies the town with the fluid,
sat down on a tarantula out on the desert
road and thereby suftered some pain and
considerable inconvenience. He could not
sit on tho seat of the water ca,rt for a
week, said Doc Burton, the popular vet
erinarian and dentist, and since all the
they wouln t take the desert road for $100
ihey wouldn't take the tleaert road for tloo
an hour the committee on water works of
the town board had to hire a Cnlnanian to
take Bill llaskin a place temporarily.
The Chinaman all right the ln.t two
days and kept the Hater supply trom Ash
creek pretty well up to the high level.
But day before yesterday, Just the day of
the lire, the Chinaman dldn t come back to
town with the wateicart.
The cilhtens don't know yet what had
happened to him and today an expedition
went out to lind the cart, which is too val
uable a piece of town furniture to lo-.
liiey msy find the chinaman also.
Ftr. Adda t. Bmbarraasiaeat.
It was Just when the town was thus em
barrassed by a meager water supply thai
the Are came to the Vault. One of the
boys must have been careless with hi
cigar stub. The flames were discovered
about I o'clock last night Just when the
ciltssns were congregating for their after
dinner drink.
Chuckwala was the first to spot the blase
over In the corner near the faro tables.
It was about a foot high and there wus
little smoke.
"Boys," said Chuckwala. "all who have
not yet drunk their water chasers rio.
throw them on the Are and I will consider
me same a favor. Don't throw any whisky;
It's such high proof that It will burn like
coal oil."
Three of the boys were saving their
chasers to enjoy with their smoke and they
promptly went over and dropped them on
the Are. Chuckwala himself came from be
hind the bar with half a pltcherful of
water all he had left because of the drouth
and spread the contents carefully on the
blase.
Some hunted for sacks to beat out the
Are and some tried to slamo It out Rut
wood which has been in Death Valley for
a year burns like paper and the Aames
quickly climbed up the wall and nrnm t
adjacent corners.
"Run down to Jerome Jessup's and ask
him for the loan of hla nn r ,..,
commanded Chuckwala with a tense, white
face.
"Circulate around by the barber shop
and Judge Thomas' place and bring all
the water they've got," roared somebody
else 'n terror.
Cactus Johnny's Calculation.
Just as the boys were scouring the main
street of Oreenwater for water the rest
of the cltltena In town came streaming
down toward the burning Vault. Cactus
Johnny O'Brien stopped the cltlxens who
were going for water and began to argue:
."It'll take three barrels of water to get
that Are out," said Cactus Johnny. "There
aren't three barrels of water in town, and
anyway that makes S24, maybe much
moro, if we don't find the watercart in a
day or so."
The boys gathered around Cactus Johnny
and began to argue.
"Any galoot with the sense of a Jenny
burro could figure that there's 800 feet
of lumber in Chuckwala'a saloon," yelled
Doc Burton. "Pine lumber from Mojave
costs 10 a thousand foot. Eight-tenths
of 88v-dlvlde both by two; that equals
four-fifths four-fifths of $80, $44. Three
barrels of water's only $34. Make It $33
even and Chuckwala still loses. Come on,
boys, and get that water."
"Now, just watt one minute," chimed
in Judge Thomas. "It ain't that I grudge
Chuckwala or the Vault my two palls of
water, but anybody that wasn't foollsli
with the heat could figure out the theory
of probabilities In this case.
."Now, supposing we pour three barrels of
water on that fire, that's $24 gone, maybe
more. Supposing It will cost ChuckwaU
$64 to get new lumber from Mojave If lh"
whole shack burns down. All right, no
far. so good; but listen to me.
"What If we go and dump worth f
water on that fire and don't put It out '.'
There's IM plus VA, which equals $$S, g n'
to the bad, If I don't miss my guess. An l
what's worse, every minute we stnnd hru
talking that fire's going to kep on burnli'K
and it s going to take more water to p;i'
It out."
Oate.me of the Argument.
Hoc Burton told JudBe Thomas iin.l 1i
was a rat-talled, stuck-up, old luri.a.'
and the Judge swung on Doc. Tlie o'.iu i
I'fiya gathered around and quit arguing u
watch the fight.
Jusi about the time that the Judge went
down for the count from a cross to the ear
the front wall of the Vault fell In. Chuck
wala Charley strolled over to the bun"h
with a look of withering scorn on hi
face. "Gents," said he. "I have to thank ali
of you for the advice you have given m.'
and for the gallant part you have tak.-n
In helping the Death Valley Vault to lit
clnerate.
"And what's . more," he added, "there
ain't going to be any Phoenix bird business
over the ashes of this fire. I'm going
back to Suffolk county. Long Island, where
there's trees and water enough to
swim In."
3T
What He round.
He was a new deputy sheriff and had
been out on his first trip through one of
the most unproductive sections of Warren
county, Kentucky. Among other papers
given him was an execution against a man
who lived on about the thinnest tract of
land and most dilapidated oul-bulldlngs to
be found even in this almost barren section
of country.
When the new deputy came in from his
trip he asked one of the experienced men in
the office how to make his returns on the
various papers. He was told to write
briefly the facts, as he found and under
stood them, on the back of each one.
On the execution referred to above ha
wrote as follows:
"No property found to satisfy within ex
ecution, and none will be found so long as
W "kY " Wt" b no Ves." Harper s
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