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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1905)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1903. The Omaha Sunday Beb E. ROSKWATEn, EDITOR. PUBLISHED KVERY MORNING. TERMS OF SmSCRlPTION. ps'lv lift (without Sunday), fine year.-M"" Imlly He and Sunday, one year Illustrated Itce. one year 2M Sunday Hee, one year IM Saturday Bee, one vesr 1 DBLIVEHED MY CARRIER. rBl!y Roe (without Fundnyl. PT week...l?c I a ily Roe (Including Sunday), per week..l7fl Evening Poo (without Sunday), per week. e Evening H-c (with Sunday), per week...Kc Sunday Bee, nor ropy 8o Address complaint of Irregularities In delivery to City Circulation iJepartment. OFFICES. Omaha The Bee Building. South Omnhn City Hall Building. Council BlulT-10 Pearl street. Chicago lfi I'nlty Building. New York l.V'i Home Life in. Building. Washington Wd Fourteenth street.. CORRESPONDENCE. Communication relating to news and ed itorial matter should he addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only 2-cetit stamps received In payment of mall accounts. I'eraonal check, except on Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted. THE BEK PUBLISHING COMPANY. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, sat George B. Tisohuek, treasurer of The Bee rublisliiTig Company, Doing duly tworn. ays that the actual Aumber of full and complete coplea of The Dally, Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of Auxuxt, 19(0, waa as follows: 1 2M,MM 17 30,000 2 aH.OM IS 30.0S0 8 JI7.0HO 1 81.4T0 4 30,040 30 SW.8T0 6 a,aoo 21 ich.hho 6 UO.OBO 22 30,000 7 30,040 23 30.110 1 20,Nno 2 30.100 B aO,SU 25 30,110 10 211,830 2 81,7JK U ao,Ou 27 Kt,30 U 81,310 28 SO,lH 11 SO.aiiO 28 32,200 It 30,010 30 UO.710 IS 2,I)H0 II 80,880 lb M,HtH . i . Totals 930,200 Less unsold copies 11,410 Nat total sales 0 18.134 Dally average 2u.e40 GEORGE B. TZSCIIUCK. Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this 31st day of August, 1906. (Seal) M. B. HUNGATE, Notary Public. wugx out or TOWS. Subscriber leaving; ths) city tem poral II y shoald have The Be mailed to them. It Is better thmm a daily letter from horn. A4 dress will be changed as attest as reqnested. Wben the rcjuveuatt'd Nebraska u preine court fonveues uext Juuuury the bar will bo right up tigulust bald heuuVu row. It 1h now up to Ida TurU-ll to prove that the lucu who destroyed the oil works at Hnku ore in the tmy of Jolm D. Rockefeller. tince "I'aiu" Ziiuruernmu has sold his railroad other American millionaires may hesitate about investing lu uu Kng lbdj duke for their daughters. Ileiueinber that next Tuesday is set apart by law as u day of registration as well as for primary election of all po litical parties lu Oinahu and South Omahu. People leaving the south for fear of yellow fever should go Into caiup near home uutll the disease has bad time to develop, for the northern climate Is al most fatal In such cases. A Woman's National Democratic league has been organized. Does tills mean that unterrifled democracy has de cided that the ordinary form of work with voters Is unavailing? (iermany seems to have the advantage of Spain In the matter of famines. The former has but to reduce Its tariffs to obtain meat, while the latter must build irrigation ditches to obtain grain. The charges brought against Com inander Voting will lie better than a ropy of the murine regulations to show other commanders what they ure expected to do In the way of caring for ships. There should Is' little trouble In "high nmiuclal" circles In disposing of seeurl ties when one man is employed by lxth buyer and seller, and the strange thing Is that both appear to be satlstled. If we do not hear any further remon trance against accepting tainted money for the Kockyfellow hall at the unlver slty campus It Is because John D. hai changed his attitude. He has donued I wig. Iu permitting a free expression on the subject of "tainted money" the Ameri can Hoard of Foreign Missions may have desired to let prospective contributors know whom to approach when desiring to be relieved of cash. In Kansas a man has leeu coavlcted of stealing dynamite with which he ini perilled the lives of many cltliens by blowing up a number of saloons, but strange ns It may seem he has not been tried for the graver offense. No one will blame President Ramsey for desiring to retalu his position as head of the Wabash railroad, but the real Interest in the matter Is as to what power Is questioning the right of the Goulds to manage the pmiwrty. To the democratic papeiu and cam paign managers the outcome of the re publican cou vent ton is an awful shock, as well as a disappointment. This thing recalls the menu card on an Iowa rail road diner during, the June rise: "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink." Hope Is expressed by the organ of Omaha democracy that the democratic state couvcutlon to be lvcld at Lincoln next Wednesday will be attended by large nuuiliers of representative delega tions of Nebraska's loyal democracy. The question naturally ajigtests Itself, what for? thk Tmtr.E-amyr.Br.n rcurroR 8HKHIFF. The contest for the position of sheriff of Douglas county on the republican ticket this year is another three cornered fight Just ns It was two years ago when James Allen, Tony Donahue and Fred II. Iloye were the candidates. Two years ago The Bee made an earnest and active effort on behalf of Donahue, be lieving hi in to be the most available can didate for republicans to nominate against the democratic sheriff, John Power. Donahue and Iloye were de feated by Allen, who was the candidate of the so-called anti-machine faction only iK'cause the supporters whom either alone could have rallied were divided. In the contest this year between Mc Donald, Iloye and Donahue, McDonald represents the same elemeut that nomi nated James Allen In lfHW. It Is a fore gone conclusion thot McDonald will bo nominated If his personal and political opponents and those who do not approve of the uiirepubllcan star-chamber meth ods of the unscrupulous Fontanelle cabal. that seeks to dominate the republican party, again scatter their votes as they did two years ago. After a careful survey of the field The Bee Is forced to the conclusion that Fred II. Iloye possesses greater elements of strength at this time than Tony Dona hue, and imbued with this conviction we advise nil republicans who desire to In sure the triumph of the party this fall to cast their votes for Iloye. In making this choice we desire It distinctly under stood that The Bee casts no reflection on Mr. Donahue. He Is the best type of a manly man, who has always proved him self loyal to his friends and his party and still retains the esteem and confi dence of his political associates. But we are confronted by a condition and not a theory, and under the existing conditions Tony Donahue's candidacy Is absolutely hopeless and every vote cost for Dona hue will count as half a vote for Johnny McDonald. It Is to I deplored that the efforts to harmonize the differences between Don ahue and Iloye with a view to uniting all their supporters for the overthrow of sham reform and political buccaneering were frustrated when both appear to realize that the motto of organized laltor, "In union there Is strength," should be exemplified by them and the friends of both of them In this campaign. EXCESSIVE COST OF LIFE iySVRAKCE In the avalanche of controversial liter ature stimulated by the revelations of graft and extravagance In the manage ment of the big life Insurance corpora tions a dispassionate discussion of the cost elements thut enter luto life Insur ance contributed by Allan II. Wlllett of Brown university to the current Political Science Quarterly, is a refreshing and Instructive exception. The Information upon which the article Is based comes for the most part out of the liX)4 reports of the Insurance departments of Con necticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, Minne sota, New York and Ohio, covering the business of twenty-four companies for a period of twelve months. The theory of life Insurance Is that the premiums paid by the various policy holders should on the average furnish enough money to pay the maturing death claims as they Income due, and the ex penses of management nnd administra tion less the Income from Invested re serves held for the benefit of the insured and the reasonable profits on the money actually paid in by the stockholders. The annual premiums paid on each Insurance policy may be roughly divided Into sev eral parts one to meet the claims of those who have died during the year, an other to be set aside as a reserve to bal ance the flat premium rate and another representing the loading out of which the expenses of running the business must come. The investigations of Mr. Wlllett disclose the fact, with relation to the companies under consideration, that the premium rate Is adjusted according to the Amerlcnn mortality tables; that the deductions on account of the earnings of the reserve are calculated on the basis of Investment nt from 8 per cent to 3V per cent Interest, and that the loading for expenses is simply an arbitrary per centage added In, to furnish whatever sum of money Is desired for this pur pose. The experience of American life com panies, however, has proved beyond con troversion that on the lives accepted as Insurable the American mortality tables are for from accurate and that the vari ation is all In favor of the Insurance company, averaging a saving to them on mortality of over 20 per cent. In the matter of earnings from reserve Invest ments, too, the calculation of interest fails to correspond with the facts, be cause the reports show Investments to be on an actual basis of from 4 per cent to 5 per cent, giving an excess of Inter est earnings of nearly, If not quite, 1 per cent. Again, In fixing the premium rate schedule the effect of lapsed and sur rendered policies Is entirely neglected, when the truth is that of thirty -one com panies reporting to the Connecticut In surance department the average numter of policies terminating by lapse, sur render or change was nearly 63 per cent, of which 00 per cent represented lapses and surrenders alone. Although In mod em life insurance practice the cash sur render value of policies thus terminated is supposed to le returned, payment of the surrender value still leaves a good, fat margin of profit In the hands of the companies. Notwithstanding all these excess sources of revenue, the londtng for the expense account Is, as a rule, made so as to require the policyholder In his an nual premiums to pay the entire cost of management nnd administration. To quote the conclusion reached by the author from his study of the figures, "the gain and loss exhibit Indicates that but for the depreciation of securities during the year lir)3 the Insurance op erations of that year would hare brought In a profit of more thnn f jo.nnrvnon to bo returned to tiie policyholders, or added to th eur'.iu." "Witii bo Im- provement In the methods and practices of Insurance companies," he continues, "a reduction of 20 per cent or 125 per cent In premium rates Is possible for a company managed with average care and efficiency and Is lu every way de sirable. But to bring Insurance rates ,dovn to the present cost level is only half enough. The cost Itself ought to be lowered. It Is demonstrable that some of the practices of Insurance companies tend to Increase their mortality loss, that a higher net rate of Interest could le se cured on their Investments, and that the cost of administration Is often extrava gantly high. Improvement In any of these particulars would materially lower the cost of Insurance and mitke possible a further reduction In premium rates, re sulting In a wider utilization of the ben efits of insurance by people of small or moderate Incomes;" Disclosures made by different Investi gations since Mr. Willett'a article was written Indicate that the reports of the Insurance companies made to the state Insurance 'deportments ore themselves often Inaccurate and deceptive and In some cases at least hide transactions from which profits accrue either to the companies directly or to their officers by Indirect nnd rpiestlonnble means. If Mr. Wlllett hnd the correct figures he could doubtless have made out a much stronger cose of overweighted premium schedules and n still more Impressive showing for rate reduction. This de mand Is not satisfied by the companies returning to policy holders larger rebates the policy holder In the first Instance that the money be left In the hands of the policy holders in the first instance through lower rates rather than collected from him with promise of being returned to him later. Competition between the Insurance companies ought to lead some of them to strike out boldly on this line and force the others to follow. If they do not do so they will run the risk of being compelled to reduce rates ns a re sult of stricter and more stringent regu lotion. A SEW IOWA WE A. Between government by Injunction and the apparent Inability of the courts to agree on what appear to be simple propositions, the humble Inymon finds himself greatly perplexed at times to stand upright as a luw-abldlng man and a respecter of the courts. His perturba tion on this account has been added to by a condition thut now exists In Iowu The Iowa legislature undertook to pro vide by statutory enactment for the local taxation of railroad terminal property In certain of the cities nnd towns of the Hawkeye state. Assessors In carrying out the low ut Cedar Rapids and Daven port listed the railroad property at Its local valuation. The railroads quite nat urally took the matter into the state courts, resisting consistently the pay ment of the taxes levied. In the district court of Linn county, In which Cedar Rapids is located, the court held that the law was good; In the district court of Scott county, of which Davenport Is county seat, the court held that the law was bud. Both decisions were appealed to the supreme court of the state. As both cases Involved the same point they were consolidated and presented to the su preme court ns one case. The supreme Judges, nfter due deliberation nnd sol emn consideration, divided equally on the points raised and were consequently unable to announce a decision. In Iowa when the supreme court divides equally on a case the decision of the court below stands. Thus the assessors and tax col lectors of the state are left powerless, for one Judge has declared for the state and another judge of equal jurisdiction has declared for the railroads on the some set of facts. This condition ought to relieve Ne braska of the stlgmu once cast by an eastern lecturer, who is accredited with having told his class that "common sense Is law In every state In the union save lu Nebraska." But it doesn't help the layman to a better understanding of the law. FOB REFORM IN VIVORCE LA WS . It U proposed to hold a national con gress for the purpose of promoting uni form divorce legislation, or if that be found impracticable such reforms in ex isting state laws as are deemed to be necessary to correct prevalent evils in connection with divorce that are held to be injurious to society. At its last ses sion the legislature of Pennsylvania passed a bill authorizing the governor of that state to take the Initiative for a na tional congress on divorce legislation. Pursuant to this Oovernor Pennypocker submitted the proiositlon to the gov ernors of the states nnd received assur ances of their co-operation, not a single unfavorable reply having been returned. This manifestation of interest in the matter shows how generally its Impor tance Is realized by those who have given It attention. Statistics show that there has been a great Increase In the number of divorces In recent years. In 1RS1 the total number granted in the United States was 20,762. In 1002 the number had risen to 35,846, nnd doubt less In the years since there has been a further increase. Such being the case It seems to those who take an interest In the question that the time has come to make an effort to check what they re gard as a very serious evil. It la be lieved that a national congress will be able to devise uniform divorce legisla tion that would be acceptable to most or all of the states. At all events a move ment would thus be started which It Is reasonably thought would at least be productive of reforms In divorce laws generally. It is unquestionable that the varying laws of different states are productive of much harm. Of our forty-five states, one does Dot grant divorce for anjr cause. In the others the legal causes are many and diverse, varying from adultery to Incompatibility of temper. In practically all of the states the method of procedure to obtain a deuee dlfler. Que ot the most Important variances in this class of f legislation inspects the period of time a petitioner for a decree shall have been a resident of the state In which the appli cation Is mode. With such differences In existing legislation It niny well be doubted whether uniform legislation can be secured. It Is not an easy matter to Induce a commnulty to radically change a system or policy that has long pre vailed and which has not distinctly oper ated to Its detriment, even though ob jectionable from a strictly moral point of view. South Dakota, for Instance, which now Invites those who desire to sever the marriage bond, might not be dis posed to adopt a law which would be en tlrely acceptable to states whose peoplu believe that there should be rigid restric tion upon divorce. But if It be not practicable to secure uniformity, It may be possible to bring about reform. It Is suggested that to in crease the pej-lod of necessary residence of the petitioner before filing the peti tion and to abolish service of notice by publication, requiring In all cases actual notice to the party defendant, would be extremely beneficial reforms and ought to be attainable. The proposed national congress would have many measures pre sented to It. otit of which It undoubtedly would le able to recommend legislation which would be generally acceptable. WILL THEY RAIlFYt Two weeks before the time for filing the names of candidates for county nom inations was to expire half a dozen gov ernors of the Fontanelle club met In star chamber to select a ticket which the republicans of Douglas county are now asked to endorse next Tuesday. This ticket thus selected, or rather dictated, by the inner circle of n political wreck ing club has been mailed to every repub lican voter In Omuba nnd South Omaha, with carefully prepared directions and the assurance that it stands for good government and economy. The natural inference is that the republicans of Douglas county have committed their consciences and their right to make their own selection of public servants to a coterie of self-appointed, Irresponsible political autocrats, who will not take them Into their confidence yet nnd who arrognte to themselves dictatorial pow ers, without as much as consulting the members of their own club In whose name they are appealing for support. This is the most amazing piece of ef frontery that the republicans of Doug las county have ever been asked to sub mit to. Will they submit? The answer will come from the bnllot box Tuesday. The exhibit of the receipts nnd dis bursements of the state fair published by fair managers is misleading if not de ceptive. The details of the receipts and expenditures are shown In the following statement Issued by the secretary of the State Board of Agriculture: Cash on hand January 1, 1906 (15,646.41 Received from sale of general ad mission tickets 15,438.50 From amphitheater tickets 2,866.50 From quarter-stretch tickets 455.25 From concessions 6.135.55 From rent of stalls and pens 1,125.00 From speed entries 1,366.00 From camping permit 2.60 From miscellaneous sources 862.40 From state appropriations, 1905 8,000.00 From railway coupons 10,452.75 Total 855.900.86 To total warrants Issued to Septem ber 12, 1905 821,955.98 To premium awards, Including speed 14.624.63 To claims audited and allowed 4,561.58 To balance 14,758.67 Total 855.900.84 The fact that the board has a surplus of $14,758.07 after pnying all but a few minor bills Is pointed to as an agreeable surprise because the members of the board had anticipated a deficit Instead of a surplus, owing to the Inclemency of the weather during fair week. A mere glance ot the figures would create the im pression thot there is actually n surplus of $14,758.57 lu the treasury of the board after all expenses had Iteen met, when in fact there was a deficit of $587.74 because the board bud a surplus of $15,046.41 In its treasury when Hie gates opened. No rational person will blame the board for curtailed attendance caused by bad weather, but it Is not creditable to gloss over the fact that there was a deficiency, no matter how small. Even with a small deficit the showing is not bad. Advices from New York would Indi cate that Augustus Belmont will be look ing for a new political Job when the democratic national committee meets, from the fact that he failed to connect with the cash drower, which waa the sole object of his oppolntment. The report that the pope needs a change of air is again brought forward, but the probabilities are that if the air of the Vatican was good enough to carry Leo to the ripe old age at which he died It will carry several popes after Plus X goes to Join his predecessors. From the number of stock yards com panies which have asked permission to Intervene In the suit of the Interstate Commerce commission against n number of railroads at Chicago it would seem like the commission has struck "pay dirt" for once nt lenst. Poetically speaking, Byron says "car nival" means abstinence from flesh, but you may eat and be dsmned. This of course will not apply to the Omnha car nival, improvised by King Ak-Snr-Ben for the festival In Qui vera or Carnlvora, whichever It may be. The Mennlal retirement of Congress man Hepburn of Iowa Is being an nounced in democratic newspapers, which Is one of the best evidences that they expect him to be again trium phantly nominated nnd elected. Jefferson It. Westou. second state au ditor of Nebraska, whose death, at the age of nearly four-score years. Is an nounced from Beatrice, was one of the must sturdy, progressiva and perpeudic ular pioneers of this commonwealth. Few oien have done more for Its devel opment In territorial days nnd few men lu public life could point to a more com mendable record as an ollicer and a cltl- seu. After profound study and serious re flection we have reached the conclusion that the direct primary election law was enacted for the sole nnd exclusive ben efit of the professional leg-puller with n weekly newspaper attachment. Looks that Wnj. Indianapolis News. It takes more than a knowledge of In surance to run a hlg life Insurance com pany the may some of the companies have been run. Pnss it !'. Chicago News. If a federal Judge may enjoy the free use of a private railway coach what are you to expect from the ordinary professional politician In office? Too Pleased to Kick. Chicago Tribune. Tou will note the absence of the Vladi vostok date line from those telegraphic accounts of riots and other disturbances growing out of dissatisfaction with the terms of the peace treaty. Better Thnn an loon. Boston Transcript. President Hooscvelt's popularity with the Russian soldiery prompts the thought that here Is an acceptable candidate for the first presidency of the federated republic of the world. The Hague would welcome him as a doughty son of Holland. Perils of Cheap Autos. Pittsburg Dispatch. Automobile manufacturers talk of sell ing machines as low as fl"0 next year. When this materializes It will Inaugurate a change of fashion. To show their su periority to the medlnm-grnde $400 people the millionaires will be forced to give their devil wagons away and buy airships. Menace of Insurance "Sng." Minneapolis Journal. The Insurance world needs a thorough overhauling, fumigation and federal con trol. More than this, a complete divorce between life Insurance and high finance Is necessary such an arrangement as will make officials of a Ufa Insurance company stick to the business of the company, one company, and that one company alone, and the profits should be for the Insurance company and not parceled out as robbers divide the "swag." Lamentations of Danrlng Masters. 8an Francisco Chronicle. The professors of dancing are lamenting the decadence of the waltz, which they say has become a lost art In the I'nlted States. They do not attempt to explain the lack of Interest In dancing, which has become so general that men have to be hired to serve as partners, but there are others who have noted the tendency who say that the American has ndopted the Turkish Idea nd prefers that some one else should dance for him. The theory Is confirmed by the grow ing popularity of vaudeville, the chief fea ture of which Is the good dancing. SECVI.AR SHOTS AT THE PI I.PIT. Boston Transcript: We have always re garded Plus X as a very practical pope. The Installation of a long distance tele phone In the Vatican proves It. Washington Post: Bishop Potter's propo sition for twenty-minute sermons Is meet ing with popular favor. Push It along until a similar limitation Is placed on political speeches and Chautauqua lectures. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The action of the Episcopal church In Canada can not bar legal marriage of divorcees, but It goes far toward making divorce odious, which Is a long step in the right direction. Cleveland Plain Dealer: The lucky pastor who officiated at the wedding of Marshall Field Is said to have received a fee of 825,000. About one wedding of this sort a year would keep him nearly In board and clothes. Baltimore American: The report of the Board of Foreign Missions from Boston an nounces that the receipts have leen af fected by the controversy over John D. Rockefeller's gift. Are the heathen, then, to be abandoned without aid to the con taminating touch of tainted money? It ts to be hoped there are some generous souls who would rather take the blight upon themselves. BoHton Transcript: Out In Cincinnati the Methodist Episcopal convention has pussed a resolution that future candidates for the ministry shall be questioned closely as to their tobacco habits. Alas and alas! has the convention no realization of the In numerable good sermons that have come out of the meditation thut mellows and softens In the smoke from a companionable old pipe bowl? Portland Oregonlun: A Seattle minister, drawing a salary of 85,500 a year and pos sessing a sufficient amount of tangible as sets to necessitate the employment of a lawyer at an annual salary to look after them, Is In trouble. He is accused of using his ministerial half-fare permit for the benefit of two people who were not mem bers of his family. The congregation I a somewhat divided vote "vindicated" the action, and a division of the church may result. There Is a suspicion that the con gregation must number among Its members some ant!-sea!plng railroad men. The ac tion of the Seattle divine shows that the belief that it Is not a crime to steal rides from a railroad company is not confined to tramps. SERMONS UOILKU DOWN. Truth needs no tinsel. Weakness cannot wait. Friends never come In flocks. Labor Is the noblest of all prayers. Love Is the greatest human lodestone. Every sin would like to syndicate Itself. The world needs kindness more than creeds. All saints are home made but none are self-made. When religion Is only a thing it is worse than nothing. Enough is as good as a feast; more lead but to famine. No man can be an infidel who has some faith In other men. A few friends at heart are worth a whole directory In the head. The day of rest is never the better for making It a day of rust. Look to your works and your wings will take cara of themselves. Even a child knows the difference be tween piety and padding. It Is easy to forgive the man who has wronged the qther fellow. The "doth" Is an effective Insulator be tween men and the ministry. Too many hope to bull their own religious stock by bearing that of others. The only doubts for which to apologise are those you feel Ilk advertising. Many times do we get the names of our troubles and our treasures transposed. Th top notch of sentiment la gained more easily than the lowest step of service. There Is more of the divine In a little diligence than In all the dignity in creation. Borne men think ti.ey are forehanded when the truth Is that greed has only made j them foai-fuvtd.-Clat.-vj Tribune. Lie Insurance Investigation is demonstrating the soundness of Lifo Insurance as a principle and the aVfolntc necessity of honest, careful management of a Life Company's affairs. The Bankers Reserve Life Company of Omaha located in the "West, supported by the West nnd investing its funds in Western securi ties, Challenges Comparison in careful management and unimpaired in tegrity in the care of its funds. Our Guaranteed Income Coupon Policy ;s the great fact of Life Insurance history for the Wage Earning and Salaried Public Continues monthly income to the family in event of death. Premium based on entry age. Something new., Insurance Solicitors Wanted on liberal terms. Communicate rith B. H. Robison, President DOMESTIC PT.EA9ATMES. She I will become engaged to you for t iv o VP p c Vi 9 He Make It a week. I don't think my money will last longer than that. Judge. "He says he cannot live without me, said the Impressionable heiress. "Don't believe it," returned Miss Cayenne. "He will live, nut he may have to econo mize." Washington Star. "C.MnoA ra aa that fif f I fir AV Anil h ! wife. They fell' In love with each other at firm sight." "That s notntng new. - "nut than hth hii thtr Aiitomnhlle riffs on at the time." Chicago Record-Herald. "According to the now fashion a woman must have a set of Jewels for each cos tume." "And vet people go right along wondering why voting men shy at matrimony." Cleve land Plain Dealer. Foreigner fas the train stopped) Ees zees Medicine hat? Native Yes, sis Foreigner Can you show me ze factory where you make ze cold waves? Chicago Tribune. "Mv husband, you know," said Mrs. Nex- dore, "Is a drummer." "Indeed!" replied Mrs. Neweome. "I thought It was your daughter." "Kn: now an you mean; r ttinnirht it was voiir dauffhter who used the piano." Philadelphia Ledger. Mrs. Jawhack Get right away from here, you nasty tramp, or I'll call my husband. Oliver Muiin-u wan: ler iiuoan am i 10 home. Mrs. Ja whack How do you know? Oliver Mudd Husbands of women like you never are to home, 'cept for meals. Cleveland Leader. Peekem I have been asked to Join the Married Men's club, my dear. Mrs. Peekem Indeed ! And what do mar ried men want a rlub for, pray? Peekem Why, misery loves company, you know. Chicago News. "No," said the melancholy druggist, "there Is nothing In life for me now. She oooooooooooooo I LITTLE TOMMY'S DILEMNA. My maw, she's wearln' glasses, and paw, he's got 'em, too, And sister Maud she has 'em and so has Hatty Loo; I guess they must be ketchin'; most every one you see The boys and girls and old folks must wear 'em, seems to me. Sometimes my eyes feel tired when I have read a lot, And they get kind of smarty around the edge, and hot. 9 But I don't tell nobody, for I s'pose they'd take paw's glasset. and hand 'em down to me. I'm wearin' his old trousers of course they cut 'em down; My shirt was maw's old wrapper; I wear Maud's old night gown; The girls must have the new things to ketch the beau, you see I s'pose if I'd need glasses they'd hand some down to me. Huteson - V PAYYON BLOCK ,' 1 bO000000O00O - 7 has Jilted me, and nothing In this world can take the place of her love." "O! I don't know," replied Slnnlck, "you should be able to find 'something Just as good.' "Philadelphia Press. THE LADIES' AID. i Oh urrh Herald, Lisbon, la. We've put a fine addition on the good old church at home; It's Just the latest kilter, with a gallery and dome; It seats a thousand people finest church In all the town, And when 'twas dedicated, why, we planked ten thousand down; That la, we paid five thousand every dea con did his best And the Indies' Aid society It promised all the rest. We've got an organ In the church very flni'st In the land; It's got a thousand pipes or more; Its melody Is grand. And when we ait on cushioned pews and hear the master play It carries us to realms of bllsn unnum bered miles away. It cost a cool three thousand, and It's stood the hardest test. We'll pay a thousand on It the Ladles' Aid the rest. They'll give a hundred sociables, cantatas, too, and teas; They'll bake a thousand angel cakes and tons of cream they'll freeze. They'll beg and scrape and toll and sweat for seven years or more. And then thiy'll start nil o'er again for a carpet for the floor. No. It Isn't Just like digging out the money from your vest When the Indies' Aid gets busy and says: "We'll pay the rest." Of course, we're proud of our big church from pulpit up to spire; It Is the darling of our eyes, the crown of our desire. But when I see the sisters work to raise the cash that lacks, I somehow feel the church is built on women's tired backs. And sometimes I can't help thinking when we reach the regions blest '."hat nun will get the toll and sweat, and the Ladles' Aid the rest. o-oo-9ooo-oooo if I did, you see, Optical Cq; Mill v - " " FACTORYONPREMISESlf O0'O00 - OO - OO'OC000"