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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1905)
im HOV F G The M-n Wlio Issues Toe Judge 4 s 1 S-S' E 8 3 HPV T Oxi 7 raw' TO iARRIAGE LICENSE notarial cmr v I " ii.-ri-- p " - . i r i-i in iirf11' ; ilrw ' fasass I'f.ftliatWtt i'tHi, 1,.,4, - ' 'JSj.'"-'"-c'Um ii i iii i mm ssrjL laMI M tfff f Ti.i-' - -. - -igw-, I.. ' I i wf irf "Tim ' 111 ,.' I P.jt'lV i . . fr:r ..;.:-.. , i .ii a i n,ii. : !!',, V;. ..'.... . ,. 2..-n:V -ti v ' " V ii -Hiir"'-" t. , i . uinj i . . . Jiy. ' f O ( j H k ' I !:--: "-"L jzn '" ' 1 1 . - i . i .i , TUT""3-' ' i mr -" asT W ' i T ; J,- 7. M cldvice Giben cAfter IJNCE thr hrplnning of hi connertion with the murriHpe license bureuu twenty-two years agt Chii f Clerk Balmonwon ha issued the lieeriHeB thait prmioted hulf a million young men and women to heoome man and wife. Since IHKi he hus s.t behind the mamure Iic-ne dt-Bk and wen coy younp darlinps and their stalwart rwuins cnme tripplnR hashfully up and an nouiwe that they wished to wed. He has become such a fix ture In the license office and his name hus become so widely known to thtxie desirous of wedding thiit his itttle mifrht with propriety be chunped to "The Kinp of Hymen" in Chicajro. Frefjueinlly couples on marryinp bent find their way Into the county building who ask for Mr. Siilmonson instead of the license burewu. nnd tieiiip told thiit he is out po sway dis ap)ointed. wonderinc w hy ahe man w ho holds the marriapes of a city in his hand should trouble to take luncheon. Siil monson has had ri' alinps with more love stricken people than any man in the world and he is an authority on mar riage: its voi and happiness. Way Be Happy, Though Married. There i n noie of hore for pmnpeoti ve married people in the philosophy that Mr. Salmonson has observed in hi years of close observation of the jrroblem matrimonial. " It s possible to be happy though married." this is what Mr. Salmonson says, and he should know. " It is possible to be happy though married, and it is not nwesnary to lead a turtle dove, oorvtintrous honeymoon existence to do so." he con tinues. " Tounp people atout to be married should recopniie the fact that there is bound to be considerable friction, con siderable diverpency of opinions and disagreements because of d'.ff"retice of views. "They ehould recognize that these things are Inevitable in the hallowed slate of matrimony. They should learn (.halt the In tie spat of the moment is only a natural sequence to circumstances, and learn to adjust ttieir lives accordingly, reoogniSHiE the fact thatt the little quarrel If not pursued to liny further extent is of little moment in their lives and will have absolutely no effect upon their happiness in the long run. Married people hBve quarreled since the beginning of .the world and will continue to do so to ithe end There is nothing serious in a little quarrel. It comes like a cloud on a sunny day. darkens the sky a few minutes, and if people will only tet it do so, is as quickly gone. ' Bun so many younp people, when they pet married, enter the state of matrimony imagining than their lovers' days are (roinp to laat forever. They think that because they make strenuous love to each other previous to their marriage they are going to continue to do wo for the resrt of their natural lives. When they have thair frnrt quarrel, after a few week Experience Gained from Chicago's 11,000 S flancte or as bride, engaged or newly married to the man you love, the advice of Judge Marcus Kavanagh of the Superior court as to how to retain that love should be doubly in teresting because of his wide experience, offi cially, with those who huvt lost tht love of husbands, numbering l.loo in a year. In Chicago. Don t imagine for a moment that your lover is either a hero or a demigod." is the Judge admonition. Don't let htm lose a minute dreaming that you are an angel who could not sit In the same flat with a boiling cab bage. " Remember that when you are married you probably will see him with trailing suspenders and lather on his face, shav ing, and realize at the same time that you may have a smirch across your check from the kitchen range some evening when he comes home to dinner, tired and hungry. " If you have some crown and bridgework in the back of your mouth, don't be afraid to acknowledge it; it is much safer to be afraid nut to tell him. " If you should get mad at him on the Impulse of a mo ment, have It out with him freely; It might be an awful hock six weeks after marriage. " Remember that he Is a man and may be careless of a good many things about the home that were not called to his attention in years of lodging house life. Be prepared to exercise a little patience. " Don't be In ignorance of the fact that children are the closest ties that hold husband and wife together. " Don't be pessimistic in regard to the responsibilities cf motherhood: a man and his wife may learn aome of ths sweetest of life's meanings a they stand at the grave of a dead baby. " Be sure you are a woman In its true sense, and make sure that you are marrying a man. A mere man la good i nough, but at the same time he will be faultful enough, as you will have to learn. " Then, a woman and man. take care of the relationship of wife and husband "Doing so, you have the secret of keeping the love of a husband." J J Disillusionment Cause of Divorce. Tet all of this is just a little between the line as they were spoken. " Disillusionment may be put down as the one great cause for the estrangement of affecyons and suit for divorce in Chicago," said Judge Kavanugh. Judges Kavanagh and Brentano of the Superior branch have been hearing HTi per cent or the recent divorce cases In rhe courts, and Judge Kavanagh opinion, while those of a bachelor, are none the less keen and well considered Hs ba looked beyond the cause named In the hills for divorce tor the more subtle cause. "It would be impossible to say that a husband is more likely to loae affection for the wife than the wife is to lose affection for him " continued the Judge. " Both are open to tb diaUlusioiis that may follow marriaft. ll Is as likely A Remember that there is hound to he considerable friction," said the license clerk. TZorit imagine that your loter is a hero or a demigod," says the judge. TTVentv - Two Years 0 of married life, they imagine that great catastrophe has te failen their happlnees. that their future Is ruined irrevoca bly. The wife is apt Ho po ito her mother and tell her that hubby does not love her any more. The husband goe to his work decidedly troubled in mind and heart and their gen eral happiness is seriously disturbed Wrongs Righted by a Kiss. " As a matter of fact the quarrel would amount to noth ing if the parties concerned did not have an exaggerated idea of its importance. 'A soft answer turneth away wrath." and in married life a ki" will insun.tly ripht many wrongs. In fact, the motto of newly married couples should be, 1 Kiss and make up.' The quicker they are to kiss and make up and forpet .their differences after their little quarrels the bettor tt will lie for them, and the diminishment of divorces in this country will soon be marked. " One of the be!t remedies of the divorce evil would he to teuch people how o live happily in the state of wedlock. Of course, this would be a bip contra' t. Happiness is not so easily secured. Put contentment may be taught anybody and the secret of living contentedly as man and wife is one that could be with profit imparted to every younc couple in this wide land. What is th serref Well. I have told you part of rt Of course, the other should be that they really Irove each other, for in the face of love much can be endured i hat would otherwise cause a serious rupture." Unused Licenses Returned. Mr. Salmonson is tiot one of those who have been made cynical nnd hard nutured through seeinp thousands of young people iwgin the journey of life together in double harness. He still believes in marriapes. hut one pood sipn of the day. in his estimation, is the numlier of licenses which are re turned without beinp used. " Every once in a while a man takes nut a license here one day und is hack with i the next, wanting to pet his money returned." says he. "The reasons they give are varied, but they cun all be traced back to one preat source, the one that helps fill our divorce courts: incompatibility of temper. Some time after thi issuinp of the licenee and pre vious to the performance of the ceremony the two young pwple discover thai they are not fitted for each other. The met that they then resolve to call everything off and return the license indicates th;ut people are beginning ito use more common sense in their wooing and wedding. If these younit people went blindly ahead and pot married the result would lie only years of woe and trouble, ending finally in the courts. I figure that every license returned here unused is one num ber off the great total of divorces." Speaking of ithe qualifications that a man or woman should possess Mr. Salmonson gives much hope to the plain woman that the man discover his wife 1 no angel a It is that rfhe finds him hy no means the hero that she pictured. Wherever may start, there is promise of growth of the feeling and widening of the breach. " From my knowledge of the divorce ""Question, it Is a condition thut is developed within the first two years of mar ried life. More than half of the parties appearing in court are childlesa Much more than half of these applicants for divorce have been married less than two years some of them only a few months or a few weeks. Sound, Practical Sense Lacking. "These disillusion liepin. At first they may be of the slightest character, but one may beget another in endless procession. The one thing lacking in most of these cases on the dockets is Just enough sound, practical sense in the husband or in the wife to enable them to get past those first shoals and to discover that each is human, without par ticular ground for deification on either side, perhaps. For cases are rare that a man and his wife are parties to divorce when there are children to stimulate sffection. "The fact that more than 5(1 per c; nt of Chicago divorces are granted childlea parent probably doe not point to childlessness as the cause for divorce. This lack of children simply make it easier for man and wife to agree to an ab solute divorce and estrangement Between the childless couple there is only the marriage contract Under the laws of this stste one might say that divorce is made almost easy. Ordinarily the complaint is that the huslwnd has abandoned the wife. It is hard to say Just ho w much collusion there may be in many of these cases. Two years i a sufficient period under the law. and frequently- the complainant hn a letter written by the defendant saying that he has left her for all time and hopes never to meet her again. Under such conditions a decree must lie given. J J Child Phase cf Marriage. "This child ptiase of the marriage contract and marriage state is one of the most important against divorce. It Is one of the anomalies of the human mind, too, that a dead child may be a closer bond than Is a living one. It requires more than ordinary doubt, or wrong, or cruelty to bring be fore a court the two parents who have heard the clods fall upon the coffin of a child. When a man and wife have stood before snch a little open grave, hand in hand, there are few sfter conditions In life that could ugget a parting. "From a study of the parties to divorce In the court of Chicago, it would hr aafe to ay that lack of common sense understanding between husband snd wife from the be ginning of married life is the primal cause of divorce petl tiona This misunderstanding comes from the dispelling of Illusions which should not hsve existed between the man and his fiancee. The remedy for the condition is wider knowl edge more of toleration for the foibles of each other when the two have been pledged to life partnership." That Judge Kavanagh's observations are worth consider ing in Chic-asm cannot be better demonstrated than in the statement that almost l.ltsi decree in divorce cases have been rendered in tb courts in the last twelvt months, to cAs License Clerk. and homely man He tlo rine.ls.res that It is not at all necessary to be rood looking to win a wife or a husband but be declares that it is an advantage to te a loreigner. Qualifications for Marriage. "The Slavonic element leads all other in the master of marriage sn this city." is the way he puts it. " "Poles. Hohe mians. Lithuanians and Hungarians art away ahead of all others when their total number In the city's population is considered. Apparently they are strongly opposed to sinple blessedness. They don't marry young; but they are sure to do so in the long run. The Italians also are well up In ths race and they have the championship for early marriages." Therefore, if any me of either sex is worried about not getting married all that is necessary, apparently, is to be horn in any of the countries above mentioned and come to the city of Chicago to lH-e. ' "Hut of the process and methods whereby the despairing swain my win the angel of his dreams the new Solomon of marriage is silent. Apparently this is somthing that cannot be teamed so that one may deem himself competent to ad vise upon the subject, evn after twenty-two years of inti mate association with people who are In love. All other things a man may lrn. nd learn so .he can teach others, hut of the way into a woman's henrt no man is so whrte that be may apeak and others profit by thereby. jtt jt Every Man His Own Lovemaker. Mr. Salmonson stands ready to let others profit from the wisdom he has acquired in mattere matrimonial through j ears of experience, hut of the making of love even he does not speak. The secret must be that each man has a lnvemak- -inp system of his own. or that each woman require a differ ent mnmr of wooing if she is to be won. Or is It that the lovemakinp of all peoples are quite the same, that .the amours of the swatth "Dolores and Piettro. who huil from the sunny land of Italy, are like unto thone of Olaf and Hulda of the far north, and that the secret of it mil is known by all men and yet no man can sjieuk authoritatively concerning it. Clerk Salmonson admits that the question is one that baf fles him: he will not attempt to tell any young man how to make love. He is a wise man. is the chief clerk, wise and cautious in many things beside his vocation. But of the re sults of lovemaking among the various races he "has no doubts. His hooks tell the final chapter of many a splendid ro mance. No matter what may he the rank or station of any one. tio matter whether pauper or prince, when Cupid in this city has done his duty and brought a man and woman to decide to wed they must all. perforce, find their way to the desk of Salmonson. Divorces cAnnually. ay nothing of the suits that are pending. In these decrees may have been refusals of divorce, and In some cases only separate maintenance may have been the result of the suit. But In an overwhelming majority of these decrees the find ing ha been absolute divorce, based upon desertion a the charge. Next to desertion pleaded in a bill, drunkenness" and cruelty rank in their order. Frequently drunkenness and cruelty go together in the complaint, while In compara tively few caaes does either wife or husband make the charge of unfajthfulnes. J J Few Joneses on Divorce Docket. Looking through the almost interminable docket of the divorce courts, where of necessity other docketing in other legal case are filed, one may find some odd suggestions. There are Indications that there may be something in a name. Tor instance. v The Johnson without and with the " t "lead In the city directory, and naturally it might be expected that the divorce court records would shew their evidences of " too much Johnson." They do; but the Jackson, and the Jan sons, and the Jenson are numerous In proportion among the " Js " The Jonet family, however, shows an unexpectedly small representation compared with any of the other "Js." Taking the docket for it. and comparing Jones with any of the other common name, the youn; woman can make no miatake In taking one of the family But the Smiths are by no mean to be sneesed at In a matrimonial way, unless in the German branch of the fam ily. Evidently Schmidt is by no mean a amiable a his Anglicized brother In Chicago.. The Teutonic arrangement rf the name is almost twice as frequent in the records as is the other. Odd Names Among Divorces. According to these records, Mr. and Mr. Horse hsve been relieved of the duty of pulling together. The docket necessarily does not hint at the trouble between the two, but it will be suspected of being a case of " borse and horse." Listing these odd namt and setting one (if against an other. It will be conceded that there i nothing in a name, after all. They mean nothing. A many people of the nam of Wood seek divorce a there are those of the name of Stone. The Wolf and the Uunb scarcely could be differentiated as to temterament by these records of the divorce mills. In the matn. however, those names having a sound chilling or hair raising to more or less extent attract attention In the records. In parallel column one may get the suggestion of proportion: Horse, Smiley, Savage, Rind. True. Winter, Kissam, Hunger, Wolf, i.ove. Panther, Vlllany, Ijimh, Shivers. Verboa. Meeker, Snowball. These art inspiration to some one hswng in view" a comic Optra that shall involve the dramatic decadence of dontesticity. But the nsraif are all ton true to be really funny, even In the divorce decrees of the Chicago en ssas. Divorcer Tells How To Keep On6 or His Courd I J .MM 'lit S it'll :l r --3, i-rr '-z-, WSHSsi I! . A I A r 1 Sum "i ;,.A i its WWm:- (IB V.. F - r ii. S 1 wmi. i i ( .,iie-sa 'aSs ( Sr