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cldvice Giben cAfter
IJNCE thr hrplnning of hi connertion with the
murriHpe license bureuu twenty-two years agt
Chii f Clerk Balmonwon ha issued the lieeriHeB
thait prmioted hulf a million young men and
women to heoome man and wife. Since IHKi
he hus s.t behind the mamure Iic-ne dt-Bk and
wen coy younp darlinps and their stalwart
rwuins cnme tripplnR hashfully up and an
nouiwe that they wished to wed. He has become such a fix
ture In the license office and his name hus become so widely
known to thtxie desirous of wedding thiit his itttle mifrht
with propriety be chunped to "The Kinp of Hymen" in
Chicajro.
Frefjueinlly couples on marryinp bent find their way Into
the county building who ask for Mr. Siilmonson instead of
the license burewu. nnd tieiiip told thiit he is out po sway dis
ap)ointed. wonderinc w hy ahe man w ho holds the marriapes
of a city in his hand should trouble to take luncheon. Siil
monson has had ri' alinps with more love stricken people
than any man in the world and he is an authority on mar
riage: its voi and happiness.
Way Be Happy, Though Married.
There i n noie of hore for pmnpeoti ve married people
in the philosophy that Mr. Salmonson has observed in hi
years of close observation of the jrroblem matrimonial. " It
s possible to be happy though married." this is what Mr.
Salmonson says, and he should know. " It is possible to be
happy though married, and it is not nwesnary to lead a turtle
dove, oorvtintrous honeymoon existence to do so." he con
tinues. " Tounp people atout to be married should recopniie
the fact that there is bound to be considerable friction, con
siderable diverpency of opinions and disagreements because
of d'.ff"retice of views.
"They ehould recognize that these things are Inevitable
in the hallowed slate of matrimony. They should learn (.halt
the In tie spat of the moment is only a natural sequence to
circumstances, and learn to adjust ttieir lives accordingly,
reoogniSHiE the fact thatt the little quarrel If not pursued to
liny further extent is of little moment in their lives and
will have absolutely no effect upon their happiness in the
long run. Married people hBve quarreled since the beginning
of .the world and will continue to do so to ithe end There is
nothing serious in a little quarrel. It comes like a cloud on
a sunny day. darkens the sky a few minutes, and if people
will only tet it do so, is as quickly gone.
' Bun so many younp people, when they pet married, enter
the state of matrimony imagining than their lovers' days are
(roinp to laat forever. They think that because they make
strenuous love to each other previous to their marriage they
are going to continue to do wo for the resrt of their natural
lives. When they have thair frnrt quarrel, after a few week
Experience Gained from Chicago's 11,000
S flancte or as bride, engaged or newly married
to the man you love, the advice of Judge
Marcus Kavanagh of the Superior court as to
how to retain that love should be doubly in
teresting because of his wide experience, offi
cially, with those who huvt lost tht love of
husbands, numbering l.loo in a year. In
Chicago.
Don t imagine for a moment that your lover is either a
hero or a demigod." is the Judge admonition.
Don't let htm lose a minute dreaming that you are an
angel who could not sit In the same flat with a boiling cab
bage. " Remember that when you are married you probably will
see him with trailing suspenders and lather on his face, shav
ing, and realize at the same time that you may have a smirch
across your check from the kitchen range some evening
when he comes home to dinner, tired and hungry.
" If you have some crown and bridgework in the back of
your mouth, don't be afraid to acknowledge it; it is much
safer to be afraid nut to tell him.
" If you should get mad at him on the Impulse of a mo
ment, have It out with him freely; It might be an awful
hock six weeks after marriage.
" Remember that he Is a man and may be careless of a
good many things about the home that were not called to his
attention in years of lodging house life. Be prepared to
exercise a little patience.
" Don't be In ignorance of the fact that children are the
closest ties that hold husband and wife together.
" Don't be pessimistic in regard to the responsibilities
cf motherhood: a man and his wife may learn aome of ths
sweetest of life's meanings a they stand at the grave of a
dead baby.
" Be sure you are a woman In its true sense, and make
sure that you are marrying a man. A mere man la good
i nough, but at the same time he will be faultful enough, as
you will have to learn.
" Then, a woman and man. take care of the relationship
of wife and husband
"Doing so, you have the secret of keeping the love of a
husband."
J J
Disillusionment Cause of Divorce.
Tet all of this is just a little between the line as they
were spoken.
" Disillusionment may be put down as the one great cause
for the estrangement of affecyons and suit for divorce in
Chicago," said Judge Kavanugh.
Judges Kavanagh and Brentano of the Superior branch
have been hearing HTi per cent or the recent divorce cases In
rhe courts, and Judge Kavanagh opinion, while those of a
bachelor, are none the less keen and well considered Hs
ba looked beyond the cause named In the hills for divorce
tor the more subtle cause.
"It would be impossible to say that a husband is more
likely to loae affection for the wife than the wife is to lose
affection for him " continued the Judge. " Both are open to
tb diaUlusioiis that may follow marriaft. ll Is as likely
A
Remember that there is hound
to he considerable friction,"
said the license clerk.
TZorit imagine that your loter
is a hero or a demigod," says
the judge.
TTVentv - Two Years
0
of married life, they imagine that great catastrophe has te
failen their happlnees. that their future Is ruined irrevoca
bly. The wife is apt Ho po ito her mother and tell her that
hubby does not love her any more. The husband goe to his
work decidedly troubled in mind and heart and their gen
eral happiness is seriously disturbed
Wrongs Righted by a Kiss.
" As a matter of fact the quarrel would amount to noth
ing if the parties concerned did not have an exaggerated
idea of its importance. 'A soft answer turneth away wrath."
and in married life a ki" will insun.tly ripht many wrongs.
In fact, the motto of newly married couples should be, 1 Kiss
and make up.' The quicker they are to kiss and make up and
forpet .their differences after their little quarrels the bettor
tt will lie for them, and the diminishment of divorces in this
country will soon be marked.
" One of the be!t remedies of the divorce evil would he to
teuch people how o live happily in the state of wedlock. Of
course, this would be a bip contra' t. Happiness is not so
easily secured. Put contentment may be taught anybody
and the secret of living contentedly as man and wife is one
that could be with profit imparted to every younc couple in
this wide land. What is th serref Well. I have told you
part of rt Of course, the other should be that they really
Irove each other, for in the face of love much can be endured
i hat would otherwise cause a serious rupture."
Unused Licenses Returned.
Mr. Salmonson is tiot one of those who have been made
cynical nnd hard nutured through seeinp thousands of young
people iwgin the journey of life together in double harness.
He still believes in marriapes. hut one pood sipn of the day.
in his estimation, is the numlier of licenses which are re
turned without beinp used.
" Every once in a while a man takes nut a license here
one day und is hack with i the next, wanting to pet his
money returned." says he. "The reasons they give are
varied, but they cun all be traced back to one preat source,
the one that helps fill our divorce courts: incompatibility of
temper. Some time after thi issuinp of the licenee and pre
vious to the performance of the ceremony the two young
pwple discover thai they are not fitted for each other. The
met that they then resolve to call everything off and return
the license indicates th;ut people are beginning ito use more
common sense in their wooing and wedding. If these younit
people went blindly ahead and pot married the result would
lie only years of woe and trouble, ending finally in the courts.
I figure that every license returned here unused is one num
ber off the great total of divorces."
Speaking of ithe qualifications that a man or woman should
possess Mr. Salmonson gives much hope to the plain woman
that the man discover his wife 1 no angel a It is that rfhe
finds him hy no means the hero that she pictured. Wherever
may start, there is promise of growth of the feeling and
widening of the breach.
" From my knowledge of the divorce ""Question, it Is a
condition thut is developed within the first two years of mar
ried life. More than half of the parties appearing in court
are childlesa Much more than half of these applicants for
divorce have been married less than two years some of
them only a few months or a few weeks.
Sound, Practical Sense Lacking.
"These disillusion liepin. At first they may be of the
slightest character, but one may beget another in endless
procession. The one thing lacking in most of these cases
on the dockets is Just enough sound, practical sense in the
husband or in the wife to enable them to get past those first
shoals and to discover that each is human, without par
ticular ground for deification on either side, perhaps. For
cases are rare that a man and his wife are parties to divorce
when there are children to stimulate sffection.
"The fact that more than 5(1 per c; nt of Chicago divorces
are granted childlea parent probably doe not point to
childlessness as the cause for divorce. This lack of children
simply make it easier for man and wife to agree to an ab
solute divorce and estrangement Between the childless
couple there is only the marriage contract Under the laws
of this stste one might say that divorce is made almost easy.
Ordinarily the complaint is that the huslwnd has abandoned
the wife. It is hard to say Just ho w much collusion there
may be in many of these cases. Two years i a sufficient
period under the law. and frequently- the complainant hn a
letter written by the defendant saying that he has left her
for all time and hopes never to meet her again. Under such
conditions a decree must lie given.
J J
Child Phase cf Marriage.
"This child ptiase of the marriage contract and marriage
state is one of the most important against divorce. It Is
one of the anomalies of the human mind, too, that a dead
child may be a closer bond than Is a living one. It requires
more than ordinary doubt, or wrong, or cruelty to bring be
fore a court the two parents who have heard the clods fall
upon the coffin of a child. When a man and wife have stood
before snch a little open grave, hand in hand, there are
few sfter conditions In life that could ugget a parting.
"From a study of the parties to divorce In the court
of Chicago, it would hr aafe to ay that lack of common
sense understanding between husband snd wife from the be
ginning of married life is the primal cause of divorce petl
tiona This misunderstanding comes from the dispelling of
Illusions which should not hsve existed between the man and
his fiancee. The remedy for the condition is wider knowl
edge more of toleration for the foibles of each other when
the two have been pledged to life partnership."
That Judge Kavanagh's observations are worth consider
ing in Chic-asm cannot be better demonstrated than in the
statement that almost l.ltsi decree in divorce cases have
been rendered in tb courts in the last twelvt months, to
cAs License Clerk.
and homely man He
tlo rine.ls.res that It is not at all
necessary
to be rood looking to win a wife or a
husband but be
declares that it is an advantage to te a loreigner.
Qualifications for Marriage.
"The Slavonic element leads all other in the master of
marriage sn this city." is the way he puts it. " "Poles. Hohe
mians. Lithuanians and Hungarians art away ahead of all
others when their total number In the city's population is
considered. Apparently they are strongly opposed to sinple
blessedness. They don't marry young; but they are sure to
do so in the long run. The Italians also are well up In ths
race and they have the championship for early marriages."
Therefore, if any me of either sex is worried about not
getting married all that is necessary, apparently, is to be
horn in any of the countries above mentioned and come to
the city of Chicago to lH-e. '
"Hut of the process and methods whereby the despairing
swain my win the angel of his dreams the new Solomon of
marriage is silent. Apparently this is somthing that cannot
be teamed so that one may deem himself competent to ad
vise upon the subject, evn after twenty-two years of inti
mate association with people who are In love. All other
things a man may lrn. nd learn so .he can teach others,
hut of the way into a woman's henrt no man is so whrte that
be may apeak and others profit by thereby.
jtt jt
Every Man His Own Lovemaker.
Mr. Salmonson stands ready to let others profit from the
wisdom he has acquired in mattere matrimonial through
j ears of experience, hut of the making of love even he does
not speak. The secret must be that each man has a lnvemak-
-inp system of his own. or that each woman require a differ
ent mnmr of wooing if she is to be won. Or is It that the
lovemakinp of all peoples are quite the same, that .the amours
of the swatth "Dolores and Piettro. who huil from the sunny
land of Italy, are like unto thone of Olaf and Hulda of the
far north, and that the secret of it mil is known by all men
and yet no man can sjieuk authoritatively concerning it.
Clerk Salmonson admits that the question is one that baf
fles him: he will not attempt to tell any young man how to
make love. He is a wise man. is the chief clerk, wise and
cautious in many things beside his vocation. But of the re
sults of lovemaking among the various races he "has no
doubts.
His hooks tell the final chapter of many a splendid ro
mance. No matter what may he the rank or station of any
one. tio matter whether pauper or prince, when Cupid in this
city has done his duty and brought a man and woman to
decide to wed they must all. perforce, find their way to the
desk of Salmonson.
Divorces cAnnually.
ay nothing of the suits that are pending. In these decrees
may have been refusals of divorce, and In some cases only
separate maintenance may have been the result of the suit.
But In an overwhelming majority of these decrees the find
ing ha been absolute divorce, based upon desertion a the
charge. Next to desertion pleaded in a bill, drunkenness"
and cruelty rank in their order. Frequently drunkenness
and cruelty go together in the complaint, while In compara
tively few caaes does either wife or husband make the
charge of unfajthfulnes.
J J
Few Joneses on Divorce Docket.
Looking through the almost interminable docket of the
divorce courts, where of necessity other docketing in other
legal case are filed, one may find some odd suggestions.
There are Indications that there may be something in a
name. Tor instance. v
The Johnson without and with the " t "lead In the
city directory, and naturally it might be expected that the
divorce court records would shew their evidences of " too
much Johnson." They do; but the Jackson, and the Jan
sons, and the Jenson are numerous In proportion among
the " Js " The Jonet family, however, shows an unexpectedly
small representation compared with any of the other "Js."
Taking the docket for it. and comparing Jones with any of
the other common name, the youn; woman can make no
miatake In taking one of the family
But the Smiths are by no mean to be sneesed at In a
matrimonial way, unless in the German branch of the fam
ily. Evidently Schmidt is by no mean a amiable a his
Anglicized brother In Chicago.. The Teutonic arrangement
rf the name is almost twice as frequent in the records as
is the other.
Odd Names Among Divorces.
According to these records, Mr. and Mr. Horse hsve
been relieved of the duty of pulling together. The docket
necessarily does not hint at the trouble between the two,
but it will be suspected of being a case of " borse and horse."
Listing these odd namt and setting one (if against an
other. It will be conceded that there i nothing in a name,
after all. They mean nothing. A many people of the nam
of Wood seek divorce a there are those of the name of Stone.
The Wolf and the Uunb scarcely could be differentiated
as to temterament by these records of the divorce mills.
In the matn. however, those names having a sound chilling
or hair raising to more or less extent attract attention In
the records. In parallel column one may get the suggestion
of proportion:
Horse, Smiley, Savage,
Rind. True. Winter,
Kissam, Hunger, Wolf,
i.ove. Panther, Vlllany,
Ijimh, Shivers. Verboa.
Meeker, Snowball.
These art inspiration to some one hswng in view" a
comic Optra that shall involve the dramatic decadence of
dontesticity. But the nsraif are all ton true to be really
funny, even In the divorce decrees of the Chicago en ssas.
Divorcer
Tells How
To Keep
On6 or
His Courd
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