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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 1897)
OF * F THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , DECEMBER 10 , 1807. TOMMY ATKINS' GREAT DAY T ay Observances in the Er.b'i ; h Army. THE PUDDING , THE PIG AND THE PORTER InVlilcli B cry Siilillrr I'nrllclintrMTli * Only Time Ill- lit Allimeil to Utcmtcp All Iomiu ! > . Christmas day to She noldlcr In the United States army rotund little more than an an nually recurring holiday , with Hi customary plum pucidlog an ] freedom Irora drill , bring ing olxo to the more fortunate , perhar , > i day % leave on which to visit old Irleadi oad relation * . There ore practloilly no regi mental or service traditions connected with the great fea.it , and , though discipline Is sMglitlr relaxed tor the day , yet there is but little o' distinguish Christmas from the other great ( American uolldaje. Dul to the IlrltUh soldier Christmas It the "day of dayi , " a brief , flitting term during fthlch ( ho military character IB relegated tea a back scat and "Tommy" enjoys a abort ro'uio to civilian life and liberties. The men left In barracks who , whether from choice of necessity have not yet taken their month' * "furlough , " begin to look forward to the annual mcrrjmaking for weeks beforehand and speak of It for days afterward with en nffostlonitc remembrance. That U , 4-be old binds , or veterans ; to the younger genera- tlca. unacquainted with the traditions ot the eervlco ul dazzled by modern cricket luncheon , regimental races and the annual " ports mco'lng , " Christmas Is no looser dinners to the cook house , ana orderly men are deUllod to take turns t watching me culinary operations during the- lonely hours of the night. And wakeful mtMt the watch- ert be , for an Improperly cooked or burnt plum pudding means condign putishme. . ! "well laid on" for the offender nevellle ! How alert everyone teems this colJ ChrUtmaa morning no turning over tor Just another five minutes' snooze all IB life and bustle In the barrack rooms , for the great day has dawned at last. Hat-tat1 "Good morning ! A. merry Xmaa to all of youl" mr a strong , cheery voice , as pres ently the "woman" of the room , who washes the men's { ( rings for them and U herself a soldier's wife , eking out a scant competence by the work , appears , according to tradi tional uraso , and from tie Innermost re- ccites ot her mysterious apparel produces a bottle and a glaw the latter , of course , empty , but the former filled with seme queer but potent spirits. A mta ure to ever ? In mate ot the room , starting with the oldest , Is this lady'rt program , and it Is carried out without any variations , cave that , perhaps , to the Intrxt-Joljic.l recruit she may admin ister a kiss tnstoid of a "caulker. " advising him at the same tlmo to henceforth consider the regiment MX mother. LAYING OUT THE TABLES. This Interesting Inauguration ceremony over , attention Is devoted to breakfast and preparing for church parade. ( Already one begins to observe a flushed look among aome ot the more reckless characters , for , though the canteen will not open till noon , , and the barrel in tie corner will not be tapped till after dinner , yet the soldier that wants a drink can always procure it from some mys terious sourceno matter what 1he visible and outward restrictions may be. But today that unmistakable look passes seemingly un noticed by the Inspecting officers add Im mediately after service every rain has bis work cut out to assist In the blrrack room. Hero the tabled are laid out , clean sheets for tablecloths and the crockery borrowed from the married women of the regiment. P.-ery knife , fork and basin is polished till li elines again and -when at hat the steam- In hot dltfc&j are brought la by the cook's matc.5. both the nostrils ted the eyes are A CHRISTMAS DINNER. such an object of veneration , and has -been somewhat shorn of Its pristine glory and splendor. Yet enough ot the old-time prac tices remain to make an account o'f them prove -highly Interesting an ! diverting to an "outsider. " THE PREPARATIONS BEGIN. About a month before the great day the steady , prudent men t > ogln to save from their "pocket money" whatever small sums they can , , laying these by In hoarding receptacles , or "dltumocklng bags. " as they are called , with a view to enhancing the festivities by a contribution on Christmas eve. Some there are uho , doubting their ability to refrain from consuming their regular quantity of beer and tobacco at the canteen , so long as the Jingling coppers seem to burn holes In ttelr pockets , request the sergeant major to deduct so much from their weekly pay and put It down to the regimental Christmas dinner fund : In the vernacular , they are said to be "en the peg. " or under "stoppages. " As a consequence of this abstinence , the morning "defaulter's list" begins to diminish and the guatd room to show a corresponding lack of inmates , for punishment at this sea son means a probable loss of privileges , and Incurring penalties , such as being detailed , for guard duty on the day Itself. Soon the barrack rooms begin to assume an unwonted aspect , and the orderly officer con veniently wlaks at the disordered state of the walls and roof during the days devoted to decoration. The ever-present handy man is detailed to superintend the work of ornamen tation , and under his directions , and with bis assistants , tee occupants of each room de vote their lelsuic time to adorning the walls , roofs , fireplace , and even doors , with unique reproductions of thet glmental motto and crest , wtlle seasonable Illustrations from the current papers and periodicals are pinned up in every vacant spot , and elaborate festoons of colored or glided paper endow the banging lamps or gas Jt-ts with an extraordinary ap pearance of gayoty. 'At ' the dullest of times the bare look of the barrack room Is relieved by some pretty and attractive decorations , but at Christmastime "gorgeous" is the only word that conveys an liTea of the effect pro duced. Adjacent shrubberies oven are de- gnolled under the cover of darkness to supply the "green stuff" necessary , and holly mistletoe and evergreens endeavor to conceal the Objectionable white-washed walls. CONTEST OF THE GOOSE AND THE PIG. The major , captain and subaltern officers , also contribute liberally to the fund , pro viding each a quart of beer per man or o load of coil 'to ' each room , and adding a sub stantial sum In money to aid in oWnlnlne the all-Important dinner. A moat amusing feature Is the Inevitable debate among the members of each barrack room as to what etull bo obtained as the piece de resistance for the feast. It must be remembered that lathe Drltlsh army the men sleep and eat In the same apartment , twelve or four-teen ( beds being allotted to each barrack roam. Hence , each company contains several small "mes&cs" which are distinct. Generally the occupants of two rocxs form a mess of about twenty-four or ( twenty-five In one of the rooms ; this is especially the case on great occasions such as 4he prcaent. Now ancient custom and tlme-honoroj traditions hsve decreed that < here are but two dUhea fit for a Christmas dinner roast gooss and roast pork. Rarely , If ever. U this rule de parted from , and naturally the adherents or cither delicacy are very stubborn and Ir reconcilable , It U a curious fact thvt the olrt eoldler Inclines to the homely but satis fying "bird. " wlille the " 'crulty" and young soldier seems equally prejudiced In favor of the more- succulent pig. Jn deciding thu lino'ty question the majority , of course , la bound to rule , and the disappointed "gour mands" take to their defeat very kindly , to Judge fcy results at the table. The usual acalo of provision is one gooee or a leg of pork to e > ery three men , Early on the oigerly awaited "eve" the corporal In charge of each room collects the "dlminocked" hoards and obtains the "stop pages" money from the ssrgeant major. The Utter ofBclil undertake * the necessary mar- ket'og , while the corporals < ire commlnloned to expend the mosey they have obtained In purchasing * keg of beer and some bottles of wine or iplrlti. THO gallons of porter ( always porter ) to a man la the customary allow acce. BO that a fair-sited keg must be liad and In order that no undue exptme be Incurred , this article Is always procured , if the corporal be astute , from the nc-ireat brewery. brewery.THE CHRISTMAS PUDDING. The preparation and cooking of the Christ. ma puddlec U a. momentous affair ; toward the evening ese can see the men working bard in each room , etonlne ( rult , beating cgg and chopping fuel , under the careful lupervislon of tome gray-haired veteran , whu laboriously cons over and over again a be- thumed and ragged recipe. The pudding mixed , and every man .having given it a good * tlr , to ensure uccett , cleaa toweli , carefully - fully preserved tor the occMiUm. are used to rap It up lo , * nd then a email procession J5cort4 tbU ! & qua nou ot All CbrUtmu pleasantly assailed. Before the brave fel lows can begin the repjst , however , It la nec essary to receive the officers. First comes the officer of the day. with his customary brief visit. Then enters on the scene the colonel , attended by the battalion major , company c taln and subaltern offi cers. After the usual inquiry as to complaints , the colonel In a few pleasant words admires the decorations and wishes the men a merry Christmas. In response a subdued "Same to you , sir , and many of them , " Is heard , and the officers are Invited to partake of wine or spirits , as they prefer , wlilch the sergeant offers on a waiter. A hearty cheer Is then given for the colonel and another for each of the officers , in the midst ot which the lat ter hasten out to the next room , though you will generally find the last-Joined subaltern lagging behind to hear his name chered and rejoice In his popularity ! And now- they fall to , those hungry devils , for many a one ate little or no breakfast in order to have the more room for dinner , and the roast meat is washed down with the offi cers' quarts of beer , followed by the glorious plum-pudding and moro beer. Then the tuck- cart man , who has lain In a large supply of fruit , sweets and other delicacies , provides the dessert from his cart , and preparations are made for the afternoon sitting. Beds , forms and tables are crowded round the roarIng - Ing fire ; the barrel of porter so wistfully eyed all the morning is broached at last and a large tin pale filled from It Is handed round to replenish the vessels which do duty for mugs. H.VPPV PERIOD OP HIS LIFE. Tobacco and pipes are put In requisition , and Tommy Atkins enjoys for a brief , happy period the delight of .bis life an unlimited quantity of beer , openly consumed In bar racks. By and' ' by the married men and their wives diop in a "little something hot" is al ways ready fo- the womenklnd. Songs are the order of the day. always sentimental be It noted , for Tommy despises your comic song , and has only a passing fancy for those of a bacchanalian type. Beer and songs songs and beer that Is his summum bonum. Speeches are the exception , for those that would cannot , and "the few that could will not waste their time In mere words. And when at last the keg Is emptied another "dead marine , " says Tommy. amJ turns his attention to levying sufficient funds to lay in a supply of the necessarily inferior canteen brand. And so It gees on till "lights out" sounds , and another Christmas day is gone over to the majority.Among the officers the celebration ot the day Is conducted on a quieter scale. A supper , of which the exhibi tion ot the regimental plate U quite a fea ture , speechmaklng and dignified Jollity all around are the order of the day. R. SCALUN. Lieutenant Royal Artillery , GOSSIP AIIOUT > OTID rnopLn. Divid Hume , the historian , one made an offer of nnrrlage to a lady who refused him , but vthcse friends shortly afterward con veyed to him the Intelligence that she had changed her mind. "So h-ive I , " replied Oavld. laconically , "so have I. " and he lived acid died in single blessedness. The pope does his private writing with a gold pen , but his pontifical signature Is always given with a white-feathered quill , which Is believed to come from the wing of a dove , though persons who have seen It soy Its origin must nave been a larger bird. The came quill has been In use mere tuin forty years. It cerves only for Important occasions , and is kept In an ivory case , John H. Reagan , the last survivor ot Jef ferson Davis * cabinet. Is a candidate to suc ceed Roger Q. Mills ai senator from Texas , Judge Reagan we/i a member ot congress be fore the war , postmaster general of the con federacy and a member of congress and a senator from Texas. Resigning bis tMt a few years ago In the senate , he accepted the chalrmansh'o of the Texas Railway Com merce commission , and holds tbit office et the pre&cat time. The Academy tells a story of Mr , Kipling when be was a lad. He went en a sea voyage with his father. Soon after the vessel was under way Lock wood Kipling went below , leaving the b : > y on deck. Presently there wai a great commotion overhead and one of the ship's offlrers rushed dona and banged at Mr , Klpllng'i door. "Mr. Kipling , " he cried , "your boy tm crawled out on the yardarm. and If he let's go he'll drown. " "Yes. " said Mr. Kipling , glad to know that nothing seri ous waa the nutter , "but be won't let go. " William Fay of Muikegon. Mich. . Is prob ably the only survivor ot the grand Jury that Indicted Jefferson Davis for treason at Nor folk In 1S66. Mr. Pay went from Massachu setts to Richmond In ISO and was engaged In blp building when tbo war broke out. Ho took an active stand for the union , and wasthrown , Into prison , where ha remained until 1SCI. After tils wcipe be i.-rved u e. Glasses , Lamps , Purses , Toilet Ware. \ .Price * Inwnr ttinn the lowest qtinllty nlwnvn fjuarantocd seeds all Mow and tlio latest dc- BlRns ? 100,000 stock to select from. Open evenings. A. ' " Lead log Jeweler 5. E. Cor. t6lli & Farnam. you can make her a Christmas present of a ton of Hard Coal. Two thousand pounds in the ton if you order it from D. T. MOUNT , Brown Block Tel. 402 208 S. 16th St feast your eyes upon the finest line w of Pocket Cutlery west of New York What more appropriate for Xmas Gifts for gentleman lacly boy or girl than a Pocket Knife ? Quality first prices low. Call and see whether we speak the truth or not. CARTER HARDWARE CO , , 1405 Douglas Street. 3PROTE1O Woodijiei ) of ike World * A RECORD BREAKER GREATEST PROGRESS EVER MADE 3,500 Camps 125,000 Members SUuOO,000 Paid to Beneficiaries 1,500 Monuments Erected. Average les < ? than. 11 assessments per year. Fixed low rates , A J100 monument plnctnl at every crave. An emergency fund , limiting- the number ot assessments. Join a camp of the Woodmen of the World. Organizers wanted In every state. Address J. . ROOT , Sovereign Commander Omaha , Neb. Send her a box ofTTpAI 1AM l l Balduffs famous A * Iwl CHOCOLATES Packed in tin boxes which insures theirsafe delivery. A full line of Christmas Confections. , u.i 152-0 Farnam St. CHRISTMAS BARGAINS A Dead Give-Away We'll Get There- A Child Can Buy as Cheap as a Man and leather goods For Christmas out plush Closing If your water pipes burst If there Is any JJ.M Collar and Cuff boxes , . " e thing In the world the matter iwlth your . boxes . I1JW Commencing Monday of Christmas week we .DO Collar and Cud The gentlemen will appreciate something } 2. < X > Necktie boxes . . . = give to each lady purchaser a handsome , 00 Jewel case . . . ' ' ! ' PLUMBING ' > 'li's H.M Stating Pets . - - - . "fj thing really fine in Shoes we've H.OO .W Work Manicure boxes Sets . . . * ' . " > Japanese Silk Doily Just telephone us anil "we'll get there" do something in a genuine French calf articles OUR BARGAIN worth three COUNTER times the price contains atked. many the work quick and at the same ' time right patent leather shoe in all the latest article In plush In our store at less than or a Japaness Wooden Mat. These are very and when you pay for it you'll find you Any haven't been overcharged That's the way that would toes gentleman of Omaha neat eouvenirs and the ladles . any CELLULOID TOILET CASES- we do our .work We render our bills on the etc The most beautiful ever ones brought ha\e heretofore lo Omaha. should at least make their coffee and tea. purchases basis "for value received. " be glad to receive a large line of aivl than common . olieaper chases here this week. PE'RHUMBS < In decorated cut glare bittles ) Slippers bought especially for KRUGBR BROS- All the leadlnir makes new goods Watch for - , Christmas . gifts. will be the cheapest prlce they our Traveling . cases , pocket books , triplicate mir Omaha Tea and Coffee Co , , rors. The Plumbers , A , D. MORSE , Fuller & Co. Hth& Douglas ' 1407 Douglas St. . J.A. Telephone 1270 1110 Farnam St. 1517 Douglas St. Can't Break 'Em What a slow Holiday Gifts There's Not a Man- process the Rubber Dogs Rubber FIcphants If he smokes , who will not appreciate a fine Rubber Cats Rubber Camels- old way must For Gentlemen pipe or a box of clears. , That's -why we call attention to our stock of elegant Rubber Dolls. have been for COMAll A\D CUFF CASKS We've a tremendous stock of Rubber boiling water SILK UMimEM.A.S Meerschaum and Briar Pipes Dolls from the smallest to the extra large . HA.MlICnilCIlIBFS size ones all colors , too. but nowadays - SILlv Rubber Ball.i-Innated Velvet Calls. l-IXKX IIAYDKCIiCHIEFS All no * ) and pretty designs bought for the Don't forget we sell days we put PIM3 - XKCK\VKAIl _ holiday trade. Then we make a specialty I-IXB GLOVIS of handsome * packages of all the standard Mackintoshes - - hot water attachments KAXCV VKSTS brands of Domestic and Clear Havana PAXCY MCIIT HOI1KS Cigar ? , put up in boxes of 13 and 23. It For ladles , from C.S5 . to J27.00 $25.00 tachments in your stove , that will SILK MUFFLEHS , ETC. you're going to buy smokers' articles , better For , from J1.75 to ' men see us , for we're running a cut price Btoro riot cooking Our Seamless Medicated Rubber Toilet give you plenty water for washinp , and sell lower than the other fellers. Glove-3 are guaranteed to cure chapped ing or bathing purposes , in a very short time. Williams & Smith hands In one night. Wo carry water backs tind fronts for all Co. W. C. MORRIS' Omaha Tent & Rubber Co. stoves and ranges. TAILORS AND FURNISHERS . , OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS. , CUT PRICE CIGAR STORE 1404 Fnrnam. 1311 Farnam St , 1207 DouclasSt. Tel. 900. 1400 Farnam St. spy. and on one occasion was cziitured and wheii he saved a rope was around his neck hlmeelf and seiured bis escape by strategy. It seems to be generally believed In Ger- miny that Prof. Theodor Mommscn * as the author of the recent incendlar/ appeal to Austrian Teutonlsm which appeared In the Xcue Frele Presse. Dr. Mommsen , who is SO years of age. Is a Jamlllar object on the streets of Derlin. He may be seen almost daily In tbo public libraries , amcng the ordi nary crowd of students. His Interest In con- tencporary politics makes him , it times , a very fire-eater. In 1870 he was known as the "Franrosenfresser , " or devourer of French men , and this In spite of a hatred of BU- marck which once led the little man to chal lenge bis gigantic foe to mortal combat. "Henry George- , " says the Westminster Oa-- rette. "had a quaint humor of his own , and could tell a good story agilnat himself. Dur ing his Australian tour one of his friends in Sydney suggested to the secretary of a local racing club that it would be a grace ful thing to send Mr. George a complimen- ttry ticket for the race meeting then at nans ! . The papers were at the time devot ing many columns to reports of George's meetings and discussions on nU doctrines , but the sportsmen bad evidently not read them , 'Who Is Mr. George ? ' be Mked. 'I never beard of him before. ' 'Why. he's a man of worldwide celebrity. ' 'Does be own any horse ? ' queried the eccretary. 'Yes ; two very fast trotters , "Progrets" and "Pov erty. " ' 'Oh. all right , ' slid the now satis fied secretary ; 'here's a ticket for him. ' " William Blake , who was the first white settler in Pomona Valley , Cal , , and who died recently , was a lieutenant In the United States army in bU early days and accom panied Fremont's first expedition acrosa tbo plains In 1817. He was a participant In the struggled about Monterey and Santa Cruz that wrested GillfornU freni Mexico and he tore dispatches from General Fremont to Commodore S'.oit ' in negotiations for the transfer of California from Mexico to the United States government. Mr. BUke was born in New York eighty-five years ago. From time to time be owned tracts ot land In California thtt are now worth fully Jl- 000,000 , but in spite of this he died a com paratively poor man. Yen MoHke > , whose letters of the Fwcco- German campaign have Juit been publ'shed , was originally an oftlcerMn the Danish army At the age cf 9 ycara he was entered ai * royal cadet 1. c. , he was to bo educated at the expense o ! the king , Frederic VI , In the Copenhagen. Military academy , and he wore the Dackh uniform until lie , u a gub'.lcu- tnant , at the ago of 27 , petitioned the king for three yesrs' leave to proceed to the con tinent to study the military art , as he sayo la his petition , "to be able on his return to employ his acquirements for the good of his country. " This petition was granted , but the count also asked to be allowed to re tain bis pay. and as the king refused tbU ho took his discharge and entered the Prus sian army. For your summer ouTlng don't forget to order a case of Cook's Imperial Champagne. Nothing equals it. TOM ) OUT OP COUHT. A witness In a North Carolina state court was asked on cross-examination \ he did not testify In a former trta dlrectly "contrary lo what he had just sworn to. " Ale replied , with evident unconcern. "I dd ! , . > ) Tr" Lawyer You did. W.elU .which was the truth and which was the.lip ! Witness What I told fhe first time was a He. and what I soy now Is ilia truth. Lawyer And ain't you' a&haraed to confess that you perjured yourso\f \ , in a court of Justice ? , Witness Why , no , sir ; toot first time was only the federal court , Lawyer Walter Bahin fXew York walked Into Judge McMahon's cou t In general ses sions , to argue a motloii 'lle laid his hat on a table and began toVar'gue. A few min utes later Court Officer Pete Seaman grabbed the bat and ran with It 1nTo the cor/ldor. "Hey ! " shouted Baban , "you've got my hat. " 1- " "I know It , " replied Scaicac , "but it Is on fire. I just saw smoke coinlbB out of It. " " ' " BahnnfMaugbliig. "the "That's right , said . smoke came from my cigar. The lawyer showed Seaman a lighted cigar held by a piece of metal. A small cloth envelope was also held by the metal , * * "What kind ot an Infernal machine ls that ? " asked Seaman. "I thought you were trying to blow up the court room. l' > e heard of lawyers with wheels , but you are well fixed. " "I have just patented this'contrivance , " Mr. Bahan told a reporter , "and Intend to provide my brother lawyers with them. It will cave them office rent. " Mr , Diban's patent makes It possible for a lawyer to have his office In hie bat. The patent consists ot a metallic arrangement fitting the Interior of the crown , with a cloth envelope for law paper * . A little clajp just to the left ot the envelope Is for lighted cigars. "Counsellor" Dill Brlen tells In the New Orleans Time * the followlug story of uow be passed his examination aj counselloratlaw and obtained his license : "I had my-papers filled out and walked ovtr to Judge Joe C. GUI to pass my examination and hare my papers signed. It was In the forenoon , and Judge Gill , who , as everybody who knew him was aware , was an ardent and success ful turfman , at that tlmu hai Orphan Girl in training for the Maxwell ( House ( .takes , to be run at Nashville , and Brakeman , who was thought to have a pretty good chance of winning the Merchants' stakes at St. Louis , both races being set down for the same day. "I walked Into his office with my papers in my hand , and looking up pleasant ! } , the judge greeted me as follows : " 'Good morning , William. I undetstand you -vant to pass your examination and he a lawyer ? ' " 'Yes , sir ; that's what I'm here for thin n.ornlng. ' " 'Were you out at the tra'ck this morning to bee the horses taking their work ? ' " 'Yes , sir. ' " 'Did you see that Kentucky crack , Lelox , and my mare Orphan Girl work ? ' " 'Yes , sir ; they both went a mile and you know the track was a bit slow. Orphan Girl finished up strcng and swinging all thiough the last furlong In 0:47. : and Lelox was all out and had the boy kicking him in 0:11 : Vs. " 'I reckon my mare ban a pretty good chance for the ( Maxwell ? ' " " 'It looks like a certainty. Lelox Is all shf. has to beat , and he's as good as done al ready. ' " 'What kind of a plan would It be to send Alcock to St. Louis with 'Brakeman for the Merchants' stakes ? ' " 'The horse Is good now , and he has noth ing to beat over there , Lan-l him In St , Louis all right , and It's as good as a walk over. ' " 'I think I'll send him. Let me see ah ! I thought I was forgetting soiaethtni ; ; we for got all about the examination ; baud inc your papers , William , and see me sign them. ' " "Counsellor Bill" walked out with his duly attested license , and a short time liter Judge Gill won the Maxwell House staVeu and the Merchants' stakes with Orphan Girl and Brakeman. The Boston Budget * ays tiat a merchant who lives near IJostm numbers among bU acquaintances and frienls so old colored preacher , by whom he was recently Invited to make a Sunday morning call > | t the church over which the Utter presides , The mer chant. although wishing -most aeartlly to ac cept 436 Invitation and to bring his wife also , was somewhat in doubt ai to the pro priety of to doing. "I am afraid , " tie said. la explaaitlon , "that our preier.ce would not be wholly pleasant to your congregation. " The thopberd reassured him. "Why. sab. " ho exclaimed , "dere's M > many white folks In dat church some Sundays man ccngregaibun looks like a han'Iul of blueberries in a howl of milk ! " , A pompous bishop , related a London paper , wao hiving his portrait painted and , after sitting for an hour in silence , he thought he would break the monotcoy. "How are you getting along ? " Ac inquired. To bis astonishment the artist , absorbed In his work , replied : "Move your head a liule to the right and chut your mouth. " Not being accustomed to euch a form of address his lordship asked : "May I ask why jou address me in that manner ? " The Artist ( still absorbed In his work "I want to take off a little of your check. " Mr. Bryce relates In tbc Lcadon News an amusing anecdoUi which he got from a mis sionary , IV Hiasuto had returned to his na tive country from the diamond mines. He described to the missionary bU experlencei there. On one occasion his eye bad fallen on a. valuable dlamcud in the clay he was breaking Into fragments. While he was en deavoring to pick It up he perceived the overseer approaching , and , caving it by thLj "time In his hand , was for a moment terribly frightened , trio punishment for the theft being very severe. The overse-er , however , passed ca. "And then , " tald the B-icuto , "I knew that there was Indeed a God , for be had preserved me. " The debt of tbo struggling little church In the suburbs bad all been paid oft but J600 , relates the Chicago Tribune. A clergyman noted for fall eklll and suc cess ta raising church debts had been sent for and wag conducting the morning service. The eermon was over and the work of stir ring up the audience to ( be requisite iMlcj of entbuslaim bad begun. Subscriptions rose rapidly -to { 200 , thto to $400 and , after cco- tiderable effort , to $500 , where they stuck. In vain the visiting brctber exhorted and pleaded. The limit of the ( ash resources of the congregation appeared to nave been reached and ut last lie eat down , discouraged. Then Brother I'tantui , a highly retpected undertaker , who had made u liberal sub scription already , roee nudeald : "Brethren , this thing shan't fall through after It has got ea far along as 1500. I be lieve la a man giving as the Lord has pros pered him and , although I have given a pretty good sized donation , T am ready to do more. I'll pay that last hundred dollari my self. Here's my cieck for the amount. " "I don't know your came , brother , " ihouted the vUlting preacher , jumping to lilt feet with eatbuiUttn , "but I hope your butl- WE MAKE MEN Weak and Impotent men can ti-cure vigorous marital strength , \ltnlity and develop ment In from tno to ten da > , and In 75 per cent "IN : MUCH I-KSS SPACE OK TIMK. by the UK ? of l > r , Archumbault's Wonderful Paris Vital Sparks for a ehort time : SO frr cnt of the cages the iesuli are permanent and last- IriK. IVM * * . drulns ceace ut once. At 1 * t A remedy that l > beneficial to all end that net * on the orcar.B aa rapidly as a cathartic acti on thn boweln , nver T.OW ImnMt | i tlmonlal . ' UK , AKCHAUIIAUUTB PARIS VITAL. SPAHK3 act ut once , and their continued UFC for a * evr dayn bulld > a man or woman up wonderfully. pniCE : 3 < PKK PACKAGE- L'UL.1/ MONTH'S THATMENT-100 DOSC8. SPECIAL OFFER : 48 CEN TS. For a few d js. to Inspire confidence In onr rermdlcB , ue vtlll mall , clotely tealed , a icxular full moiith'k treatment. > ' douea. one 13 package of "ParU Vital Sparki" for 4 $ one-cent stamp * . X < > C. O. II. imrluiKrn or drc- < | > lvc rir- rulur * enlllnu fur more money , but ( lit * iifliuil iiifillolii" ne > nl ullli full illrrctloii * mill n tiiluiiltle iiic-illciil Iiuprr. Nprurd ) ' xi-nlcd , free from oU- eriilliin , Paris Vital FparUs , a rafe medicine that can not harm > ou , but Hill do > ou good. KAIL.INO VJGOIt IN C'AiiEd PAST KDIlTr OUH OHKAT SPECIALTY. Write today. Don't delay. Addrcra The Dr. AHCHAMHAUUT CO. . Pembrl KJ Uonton. Mass. "glXflZKITY 111 ( peaking ai they think b . llerlne HI tney pretend , acllne as they prefer * . performing as they promise and being a * they " ! r. cU h Dlu Bd Hr n4. ENNYROYAL PILLS Orl(1 l ud Only GrcnUe. Arc. ! ; reiitu * . LACKS u Pmcclrt lor Ckle\uttrt , / flr J la 1U4 nd iu. wild lii Uu rtbtoa. Tike la vivai * br tnle&lMi , jtstliaoaltli " llf lit f tor dltV I * lour. Ij rtttnt UalL lu.oOUTcnmuic.ikU. * M / > w. , IU < Iltu tvj w ! Jll L A UAI'JU ' I vnicsi HKAliV'lWiiX DYSPEPSIA an < l all hu.nmcli Trouble * nulckl/ - VI.ORAPJ.EXION. * * mall or lirut.-tsu. Cirry drop U worth Id weight In enld. nlien you n Kl II. Addm * , Frunldlti Jlarl , Dcpu j j hvtv ness nil ! double during < be coming year , anj I believe It will. " i'ini : TO n.\i.n limns. We 111 mail on application , tret Informa tion hour to trow hair upon a bild dead , * to falllDe hair and remove calp dUra e . AU > dreu Altenbelm Uedlcal UltptuurDtp't L Ml Iox 77V , QnclODfttl. Otilo. , i a1 * * ! * MVnrfrtfa.iMiir'te ' i iiimVui ifijjTfjiifrtfUiHifj ! T iHJ ( i - . < * k * *