Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, February 15, 1891, Part Two, Page 13, Image 15

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    VALENTINES FOR OFFICIALS ,
ffiomo Interesting Missives Gleaned from tko
Publio BorvanU' Mall ,
BRAVE MEN RAVE AND SV/EAR / ,
01110 or the Officials Btnllcd and
Hliowctl Tliolr letters Othori
lltirlotl Them in Deep ,
Waste Basket * .
f3t Valentino's day , lllto Christmas , comes
tfnco n year. To tlio children It Is a tiny of
picrrimcnt. IhoolJ folks cnronaught for the
dny of caricatures nud very bad poetry , and
business men nnd city officials , asarulo , hnvo
| ilnce < l hi n unmly position to their desks the
largest waste basket they can afford.
Yesterday was February 14 , anil the grist
pf valentines sold nud delivered wni not
short of the customary amount. If any
thing It was larger , at least In the cheaper
grades. The mall carriers were loaded from
tnornhiR until night , Ono of tlicm as ho
trugded wearily aldus with his burden was
heard to murmur :
Last summer I drove n horse oar ,
In the fall 1 followed n plow ;
Next I worked on my brother's Ice wagon ,
lint I'm only n mull carrier now ,
Tlio average recipient of his critical valen
tine reminders hurriedly consigns them to
the wnsto baikot with a few Italicised sul
phuric remark1) . With public characters and
pfllclals It limy ho said that tbo desk files are
loss used oil February 14 than usual , and
Tower nnswers to communications nro dic
tated to the stenographer or typewriter. In
his roundi on yesterday a law of these valcn-
"Cifics , which were moro or less mutilated ,
Vroro rescued by a reporter for Tun llm : from
\vastc-baskcts , desks nnd carpets which
would have otherwise passed Into oblivion
nnd secreted from the gaze of the general
public- .
> Mayor CushlnR got n basket full. As a re
porter entered ho was reading this ouoi
P , Itlchnrd , 'Occur do Jjy'\\r \ \
Pon't you remember when ,
A mnn for ofllco Highlit' ,
| ) ld luiiint your business don.
O , how you swore and pledged lio'd have
I'oslsh lot como what mny
Jtut lo. .your choice of favorites shows
lie's In Hho consomme. '
the promised uliico Is filled hy a'rad , '
Yo 'Twenty-eight' lo please :
[ Though party friends Imvo lost their grip ,
They itlll retain tholr 'sneeze , '
A. real , n truo.Iacksonlun ,
I'rcdlfllng adverse fntii
To him who ti.ivH oleiitlon debts
Uj nibbling buUor'u bull.
Soun SAMOSET.
Another ono addressed to his excellency
pond I
Hero's hoping , dear DIcK , thnt good fortuuo
May nitund yon tlin next year to como ,
When till the town will acknowledge ,
From u bishop way down to a hum ,
That your term was u pathway of roses
Your government naught , but perfection :
Shell tliSKiuifr will commence counting noses ,
Aud boodlu-foryourro-olectlon.
C ! Ann Ann.
City Treasurer Ilush rather cnjovs St.
Valentino's day and was not at all anxious to
destroy the missives ho received yesterday.
When the reporter cntnrod , the custodian of
the city's ' cash was readlni : ono to his type-
writer. Ho proposes to have it framed and
lent to the world's fair. It runs like this :
These are the days of progress
Throughout this ytinl < i < o liind ,
And ho wlio leads tbo foremost
Is the chap that's In demand.
No wonder , then , that Omaha
It.s mossbaok mini should crush ,
And do sufu tlnancecrliii ;
With a scientific Hush.
. KEIISV.
Charles Goodrich , the corpulent city coinp-
ollur , tore opcu his batch of valentines as
icklossly as though ho expected them. But
Charley vowed ho didn't euro ; that Uioy
could guy tilm about baseball all they wanted
to ; thnt he proposed to buy the first season
ticket placed ou salo. Quo of his valentines
read :
Aeecoml homo run Ohanls , you'vomado ,
Olllelally 'twas groat.
Especially fora shadow man
Of bcnrco four hundred weight.
You H | III comi > trol the city's books ,
NolOllOW IttqiClldH It.S IM.'lf ,
But uln't tlioro times when , "eliarlcy-hoss , "
You can't control yourself ?
For Instance' on the dlumnnd , when
Opposing olubs nro tied ,
A fonr-biso : hit puts Omahu
Upon tiio winning side.
Tla thru you need a controller
In your oxhlloratlou ,
For another day in.'iy bring defeat
Andeusslu' llkouarnatlou.
n. n. CRANK.
Judjjo Ilolsloy disposed of the common
tierd before ho razored his valentlnlc mail.
Boiuo of the pictures were flavored with per-
funio ; others were suRar-coatcd. Tlioro
were naked cuplds , hearts , darts , etc. , but
the lines that caught his honor's eye read
like
this :
Justice sauced with mercy , Lee
Accords with public taste.
You hettcrorrlu kindness
Than to conviction haste ,
"Co iiutl alii no more" gives both
OftttmcS'to true contrition.
While "flno uncl jail" Just uurvos a cuss
To guilty repetition.
Snpiuino court learning's not required
True justice to dispense
far butter , IMF , It is to have
A stock of common sense.
Your loportorial life has proved
That you are built that way
Bo let the city draw a howl
Aud toast Its fair 1 * . J.
THIRTV DAYS.
City Clerk Groves toro open a delicate lit-
e missive that contained the followiuRlines :
I k-iie-w you thought uluutrlo bolts
uoro orinvlliiK up your splno v
When you were roolcctod eierk ,
lly dialling's uow combine.
Thn publlo Hcem quite satisfied ,
And Join St. Valentino ,
In wishing that you'll always moot
A welcoming combine.
License Inspector lliloy , ono ot the first po-
( too olilcials of Oumha , ns well as a bi-annual
candidate , for sheriff , was so fascinated with
the lines that ho received , that ho proposes
to have Prof. Stcinhousor plneo them to
music , and have the fut man slug theiu'at
the Kdeu Musco. Hero they are :
Is this Mr. Itlclly. thn old plonoer ,
Is this Mr. Klelly so sound tind sincorn ?
Is this Mr. Itlolly whose name wo sco lioro ,
\Vo wish you luok , Hlelly ,
You huvo caught on thl.s your.
IB thin our friend Tom , who gives tx porralt
To dagos on comers to stand or to sit ?
Or lazy expressmen to git up and git ?
lly St. Patrick's howl. Thomas ,
You have made aproathlt.
You keen u sharp eye on "houses do bum , "
You have saloons and haoktnou right under
yonr thumb ,
ttho uy deml-mondo-och , murlhor , yum ,
yum ,
You'ro out of Bight , Hlolly ,
1'or one year to como. HOCKS.
The major does uot deny now that his nnmo
It Uonnts. Ho has received several valen
tines from the council during the past tlireo
NvooUs , but when ho ho ripped the yellow enVelope -
Velopo open yesterday that contained the ) fol
lowing lines , ho actually sworo. Listen :
How Major , Oeorgo , I never heard
You wuro a lusty plumber ,
Although with pipes , political ,
1 knew you wuro n hummer.
Your system , slnco the edict ,
( No stalwarts need npuly )
Has Hern far better than before ,
Although you've uctcd sly.
But Spfdit and others want your scalp ,
So nmjordonso the glim ,
Your name " 111 moan just what it spell ) ,
And you'll bo la the swim.JOINT
JOINT WiFCR.
Joe Standovcn , the city bollor Inspector , Is
B good naturcd Individual with hair the color
of brick , Joe never KCU excited. The mcro
tolophouo tnnssngo that u boiler has blown up
and wrenched the llfo out of n half-dozen por-
Bens in some building creates no oyclono In
Joseph's little rod-hoadod brain. Ho is the
calmest person you over saw. Some friend
eout him the following insinuating lines yes
terday which ho dcsirea to hnvo published In
the hope that it will assist Scavoy's gtm ? of
fly cops iu runuluf down the author. Hero
Dear JooYou
You have the face of a boiler ,
Tlio hair of a tire ,
The nose of a ninlo ,
And they nay you're a liar.
In haste. STEAMY.
Each member of the "Solid Twenty-eight"
* lub received a Valentino bearing a wood-cut
print of their manager , accompanied by lines
cf poetry. The matter was placed iu an enVelope -
Velopo with black borders , The lines were
Us follows :
Yo bolter from the party took
A largo nnd juloy feo.
I'll now take ono from t'other side ,
Said the bolting man , said ho ,
INSIDE POCKET.
Jiyou Count Pulosld , tbo dignified looking
\
follow who wields the city dog lariat , received
tUo following :
All. ttiRlcM ilea nnd homeless cowj
l/nbrnndtxl Lot-sound gocwe.
\Vho i > ott it | ion the racnnt lot
And wniitlor round KO IOOHC.
Hn n < l , for Count I'nlasl < l now
JN counting you lili preys
Bo hcMtutP boinro you trntup
Upon the Jiubllo way.
Hoof thoroyalllool ami brood i
And nnnio of shuddering souuu ,
Is looking for Ills shilling. )
Tlio hloud-nionoy ut tlio pound.
Ono of the vnlonttnc * received by 0 as Inspector
specter Gilbert read :
Wbr , Jecniilt'MouRh , njrol faith. It's rough ,
Your friend , the Rn.ijninn 's sick ,
Dutpaii'l you miiko your ofuco ou
Klucmo cnblM stick ?
One year ago while very slclt ,
I thought I'd aas secure.
It was my only luxury ,
And now 1 in very poor.
Oil/ .
The mayor's clerk got this one !
f I had hut 11.500 a year , Ulchard.slrOi
"f I had but M.2CO a year ;
Jli. how glad I would bo.
And I'd work with sunli glee
f Umil butll.'JOUayoar.
Vou Blind hnvothnt J1.200 , Tuthlll , dear bor ;
YIIII shall liuvo thnt Jl.aw a year. .
Imvo told thn combine
j'or yon know It It inlno !
You'll lit voted $1-UO u yonr.
Ilia TOOTB.
The person who cured to remember the city
veterinarian did not know exactly how to
spell his name , so ho wrote the following ou
the doctor's sluto nt Ills ofllce :
tnmoclottll hcavontl what a namol
A letter inlxtiiro diabolical ,
As It the alphabet had broken loose
Upon 11 hit ; sprco nlcohollcnl ,
Ohl lucky liorso thtit cannot understand
How bravo men kick , and r.ivc , mid swcnr ,
To got proiiiincliitloii of tlmt awful word ,
Tliu sound' of which Id an earthquake lu tlio
air ,
Tohonr It mentioned makes a ( lend horse
Jn llcnnct'H bono yard rear and snort ,
'TIS n fatal shock to equities living ,
Bo most men call him "Haiu" fur iliort.
HEAVES.
Somn person who signed "Dick's Pots"
mailed the following to each member of the
city council ;
merry little chumps ,
fcobor once a week )
Wo may look tired occasionally ,
Hut then wo novcr sleep.
Wo would not n-hoodlinf BO ,
llocauso wo thun would sco
Ourrocords on the MB front pugo
Of TUG OMAHA DAILY liui : .
This Is n sample of the kind Dr. Gapon ,
the cltyphyslcian , received :
They Bay that our present town doctor
IB a tower of strength In Ills lino.
And , oithur with knlfo or prescription ,
( Jan 11 x up a case rather tine.
There arc Ills In the city I know of
Which treatment lioroloall need :
Thoy'rii n little outsldo the profession ,
Hut , doctor , got ut tlioiu with speed ,
Splinter the broken pledges ,
ItandaBo municipal ser 3 ,
Tui ) a fat council suujoot ,
And rid the city of boru * .
In fact , the whole olty Is slekor ,
In the way of the public alralrs ,
Than many poor people in body
Who cull for professional cure.
Lot the taxpayer bo lili own doctor ,
At the pofl < < make a general rout ,
Wlh liallots for pills and emetics ,
Just clean all the bum rascals out.
Tccp down la Chief Soovey's wosto-
basket wns found n crumpled shcot of paper ,
evidently written by a woman , bearing those
unkind words :
You look like a mnn. Now , demmol
I nnvorvns fooled fro far ;
Hut the roots of yonr whiskers
Would make oloplmnt blisters
Ou the tlio of u Faruam street car.
car.CUPID. .
Poor Commissioner Mabonoy cot this :
Ilcan JuRRlcr , I hnto you ,
Hut dare not reveal
The cause of my hatred ,
Hut from you will steal.
My rations you out down ,
My coal It was rotten ,
But your liokcr was Rreat ,
So I'll come back a trottlti * .
Country Treasurer Adam Snyder was not
overlooked. Ono of his toughest ones ran
something llko this :
Money you handle ,
Kcup It In place ;
Turkey comb red.
And to Is your t aco.
HAM.
Clerk Frank Moorcs got ono from every
member of the Uouplas county bar. Frank
placed them all ou tile and will Imvo thorn en
tered on the docket for the summer term.
An effort was made to print some of thorn but
they were so tropical In nature that ordinary
copper typo mcitod byforo them llko a surplus
before a council combine.
Do Witt's Llttlo Early Kisers. Best little
pill over made. Cure constipation every
time. Nouo equal. Use the in now.
IJJFfETXES.
When the nvorago man prays for his neigh
bor the Lord hears lot ) of gossip.
The greatest business in the world Is to
sell tobacco and whiky ; the poorest , to sell
Bibles.
Fashionable society in Now York has hit
upon anew fnd. It consists of going to
church on Sundays.
"Hero lies the body of Mary Ann ,
Asleep In the bosom of Abraham ;
It may bo pleasant for Mnry Ann ,
But It's ' pretty tough on Abraham. "
A Scotch minister told n woman who was
n the habit of falling asleep under his preach
ing to talto n little snufl at a time. Klio ad
vised him to put a little snuff in his sermons.
Minister Brother Jones , I hear that you
have been seen cutting wood on Sundayl
Jones No , sir. I novcr break the Sabbath
In that way. My wife does all the house
work.
Bishop Enjjlo of the United Brotborn de
nomination of Kansas has beer expelled from
the ministry on a charge of "indiscreet
financiering. " Ho speculated In real estate ;
but this was not the trail bio lie also lost.
Chcaaulnp , Mich. , has a man tlmt pees Into
trances and converses with the utiguls.
AVnilo in this state ho can bo lanced to the
bono without bleeding , the wound healing
In a few hours. His name is ICaizcr Hoff
man.
man.A
A nan told his doctor that ho was afraid
ho had insomnia. The doctor asked what
made him think so , and was told : "I sco
people asleep around mo in church on Sunday ,
but all I can do Is to doze oil for u few
minutes.
A Scotch gentleman of fortune on his
deathbed asked the minister whether If ho
left a largo sum to the kirk , his salvation
would bo secured. Tlio cautious minister
responded : "I would not like to bo positive ,
but it's wccl worth trying. "
A crusty Iowa preacher named Pyoobjoctod
to the exhibition nt a church fanof the cap
and colors of local turfman who had con
tributed toward the success of the entertain
ment , hut whou other contributors sided with
the turfman the objection was withdrawn.
An Indianapolis church member subscricod
to the building fund of a church , mid
tried to wlk'glo out by claiming tlio contract
could not bo enforced' hecnuso entered In to on
Sunday. The lower court decided with him ,
but the Supruiuo court has reversed the de
cision.
A mulatto woman in Brunswick , ( in , , who
Is known by the numo of Kov. .lano Holland ,
created sensation In a negro church recent
ly by mounting the pulpit when the con
gregation had assembled and reading a letter
which had been sent her by a negro named
John Davidson. The letter was full of gush
and love , and the Irnto woman evangelist
grow wrnthy and her oyca glittered as sue
clinched her fist and shook it at the loving
document , The worn an Is married , and her
husband was pr scent when the letter was
read.
Kov. Arthur O. Grwls , pastor of the House
of Prayer , of Lowell , Mass. , recently had his
salary reduced from (1,000 to ? l per year , in
hope that this notion would force him to re
sign. Bouio of the congregation have hcen
paying him $10 a week to remain in deflance
of the wishes of the trustees. Last Saturday
the vestments and furniture belonging to the
pastor were put out of the church. Ho car
ried the property back and slept In the
church Saturday night to bo rordy for the
Sunday service * . On Sunday ho preached
on "Good Works. " Tno trouolo arose over
the ritual.
Mr. Martin Culm has nt lost yielded to the
long-continued Importuning * of bis many
friends and announces that ho has joined the
ranks of the piano touchers of the city. Mr.
Cahn has so long boon associated with the
musical colony that no prominent local per
formance would scum complete without his
presence , cither playing tba accompaniments
or a solo uuiabcr ,
HTlflDNCER IN THE LOBBY ,
ome Pleasant Recollections of the Jefferson-
riorcnco Dinner ,
ATTRACTIONS FOR THE CURRENT WEEK ,
line. aiHontcfcrlnfi'H Mnnlcalo at tlio
Sacrctl JI cart Academy llcinlnls-
fences or nil Ohl Theatrical
Apropos of the potlto dinner , small only
n the number of guests present , Riven last
Saturday evening In honor of Mr. Joseph
eiTerson and Air.VIlllatn \ J , Florence , after
, hulr performance of the "Heir nt Law , " a
. lumber of bright observations upon men nnd
hlngs recur , and I feel sure you will
arden mo If I try to snvo from oblivion some
t the f , ' ° od things thnt were said ,
For the memory Is oftentimes trcachorous ,
, poor sticlc to lean upon when life has
touched Its outermost circle , when the candle
has almost burned down to the socket , lllclt-
rs feebly nnd then KOCS out.
I could not help making a oicntnl photo-
; rnph of the dlstlogulshod guests as they snt
nt the table engaged in dlscusslnj ? the pre
mier course of the menu the oysters on the
half shell.
Mr. JolTerson wns dressed In black with
the rigorous exactness as to detail , of a pro
fessional man of hich ; rank. Ills smooth
shaven. Irregular icaturotl fnco looked thin
when contrasted with the broader ono of his
yis-a-vis Mr. Florence. But thcro wns n do-
Ightful look ot rosy health about the ideal
Bob Acres , nnd n sparkle in his kindly , deep
Dluo eyes that could not help but fasclnato
the spectator , Thcro is oven little sign
among the sandy hair of the touch of time
and about his form , outsiao the stoop of the
student , there is little to suggest that Mr.
Jefferson has passed the sixties along the
highway 01 n busy life.
The senior in this copartnership of art
lolds his countenance moro uudcrcontrol per
haps thun docs Mr , Florence , and dooj not
smile ns easily as the latter. Ills smllo Is in
his oyo'nnd rarely descends to the lines of his
mobile mouth. But every now and then ho
showed his enjoyment of a good point inado
by a toss of the head nnd the pleasing utter
ance of "That reminds mo , " ns some old
memory was recalled by something that had
been said before.
"TUo Rovornor. " as everybody in the com
pany calls Mr. Jefferson , wn3 in good spirits
and undoubtedly enjoyed the companionship
of the occasion.
Mr. Florence was dressed in a dark gray
frock suit , if memory bonotnt fault , and his
clcan-shnvon , jolly face was mantled in
smllos. Ho was In the pink of condition ,
and suggested n well groomed thoroughbred ,
to use an expression common to the turf.
An Kngllsh monocle is screwed into his
right Irish eye , dimming its twinkle , whlcn
was so apparent in the unohscured loft Irish
oyo. and th's ' was the only feature out of har
mony with the correct make-up of this moat
interesting comedian.
Ho Is fond of the sunshine , and loves to
sco It on the faces of those about him. But
now and than ho provokes a tear , and what a
precious tear It isl It comes from the tender
pathos that ho loves to Introduce In his Inter
pretations , taat the humor may bo in brighter
contrast.
Ho has known probably moro prominent
people , and boon intimate with them , too ,
than any actor now living. His education ,
his abilities , and his personal worth nro re
sponsible for this. Few actors have met nnd
conversed with the emperor ot Germany in
an informal way as ho has , nor have many
people been awakened from a fishing reverie
by the German emperor.
Wherever ho goes ho finds friends , admir
ers , companions. In every land and district
he flnds some ono to do him honor and take
delight In his company.
This splendid actor , who Is n flno example
of what the actor was In his duties to the
stage a roneratlon ago , has a line literary
record. Ho Is a delightful raconteur , a clover
versifier , no moan story teller , a staunch
friend , and the prince of good follows.
It was shortly after the second course had
taken the place of Its predecessor and a rare
old Burgundy had been decanted , that the
host of of the evening turning to Mr. Jeffer
son , said :
"You may not know , but the part of Dr.
Pangloss Is taken from Voltaire's "Candido , "
ono of that famous Frenchman's most noted
works wh ten wns written o vci a hundred years
ago. Colomau , no doubt , saw in this charac
ter n great satire ou English tutors and , ho
Introduced him in the ' 'Heir nt Law. ' In
Voltaire , the character is made a tutor
simply , but Coloinnu , Impressed with Its
strength nnd virility , has elaborated the role ,
making Paugloss a doctor of laws , a pedant
who was unscrupulous enough to sell his at
tainments to thrco different persons , notwith
standing , that they were diametrically op
posed. "
"Not until lost year did I know that Pan-
gloss came from the French , " snld Mr. Jef
ferson. "I had occasion to go to Mr. Sar
gent's ' studio in Now York to talk over with
the arrtist a picture ho intends to paint of
mo in the part of Dr. Pangloss , and it was
then that Air. Sargent told mo that Pangloss
wns not original with Colomnn , but
with Voltaire. So ho sent mo the
the story sorao thcso days I will read It.
In fact I am looking forward to the tinio
when I can get into n corner and absorb some
of the literature of the ago. Until "now , with
acting , painting , HshiDp.farmlng and writing
I have had little time to read the things which
other people discuss so learnedly. "
"You have not been unsuccessful yourself
In a literary way , Mr. Jefferson , " said Mr.
llosownter.
"Well no man could have boon moro sur
prised at the success of the book than I have
been.
"After I hnd signed the contract with the
Century people I would huvo given twice
the sum to have succeeded in getting thorn to
cancel it. It became a positive burden I
may say old man of the sea to mo until I hod
gotten Into the work.
"Why I used to think of things in the
night time and I would get up out of bed and
make a memorandum of them. This I found
of great advantage , wnon I came to putting
the finishing touches to the work which the
publishers tell mo is haying an unprece
dented salo.
' I believe a man has ono book in him "
"Yes , and In many cases that ono book Is
infernally bad , " Interjected Mr. Florence ,
who up to this time had been attending
strictly to the course bcfora him.
"In my case , " resumed Mr. Jefferson , "It
couldn't boa second. I prohahly hnd some
thing to say , and navlng said It , I am qulto
willing to stop without uttomntlng anything
else thnt might prove an autl-cllmax.
"I had intended to leave o frloud seine
memoranda for a history of the Jaffursons to
bo published after my death , but T could not
withstand the Importuniugs of Mr. Gilder ,
nnd the result is very gratifying to mo. "
"But how wonderful has been the growth
of Omaha , " said Mr. Jefferson , changing the
subject dottly from himself.
"Twenty years ago 1 played in the Academy
of Muslo then under tno management of a
man bv the name of Corrl , and I played 'Kip
Van Winkle. ' I remember it wollj ns If it
were but yesterday.
"What great times wo did hnvo to get to
and from the railroad station , nnd what
forlorn looking place was this sumo Omaha.
"High hoi times have changed , and If some
of my eastern friends could see Omaha now ,
TnuBEi ; buildinc , they would not believe ]
am out playing to the Sioux Indians , in mo
mentary danger df Imviug my thin scalp-lock
taken from mo. "
"Speaking of TUB BEB , " eald Mr. Florence ,
"reminds tno of a cluver epigram which the
Boston Herald used to sijuolcli a would-be
rival called the Jiostou Bco. It ran lu this
wlso :
" How doth the little Boston lice
Imniovo its dally ipaco ?
Hy BtonllnRall its thunder
1'rom the Herald , without Rraco. ' "
Then the guests gave Mr , ICosewatcr an op
portunity to tell the story of his busy , stir
ring life , hofnrodunng and slnco the war. by
their questions as to how Tun BEB came into
existence.
Again was the subject changed and th.
Shnkespcarc-nacon controversy came up , In
which all the guests took n hand , and strangi
to say alt wore Shakcspoarans.
"Actors have a traditional regard for
Shakespeare , " sold Mr. Jefferson , "that time
cannot wither or custom stolo.
"To mo it seems especially ludicrous tha' ' .
Shakespeare could have taken time to
have inserted in his plays t
cryptogram or wlioercr wrote the plays o
linkcspoaro netting forth that Bacon hnd
vrltlcn thorn , as Mr. .Donnelly nllogcs ho
Id do. i
' For centuries helms continued to bo the
great source of dramatic Inspiration nnd will
o continue for , cnnturioq to come.
"I have an Idea about this controversy
vhlch I think U now , certainly I bnve never
ecu It In print , and it istUl.i ! Bacon wns n
onnctcerjso wasShftkospearo. Nowdocsn't It
ecu strntiRO that Bacon should have selected
ho inorcjt of his sonnets to which ho gave
its unrno and credited AVlU.tihakespcaro with
ho bcstt
"In Elisa's time the maker of sonnets was
onld upon ns a genius nnd It occurs to ino
hntlf Bacon had writtennil that ho Is crea
ted with by the Unconlans ho would have
saved for himself tUo beautiful bits of versifi
cation wlilck npponr In Shakespoare.
"Consider thnt the groitost domestic com
edy of nil time , 'Tho Merry \Vivci of Wind-
for , ' was written by Sliakcsi > enro. As ho
also wrote the greatest tragedy , 'Julius
'iL-sar , ' the brightest romantic comedy , 'As
You Llko it.'tho greatest melodrama , 'Tho
Winter's Tale , ' the greatest domestic tragedy ,
'Othello. ' ' "
"And the most elaborate spccUiciilar play
.u 'The TempostM'snld one of the guosts.
"Hero was the most marvelous Introspec-
Jonlst of all time , " continued Mr. Jefferson ,
'and ' ho can almost ho said to hnvo hcen di
vine , for ho wns gifted with the light which
' . not on land or on sea. "
"All this controversy reminds moot n story
! once heard , " said Mr. Floronco. "Thoro
was once n great big man , may bo six and n
mlf feet high , built In proportion , and ho was
married to a little bit of a woman who was n
virago In disposition , nnd she used to bent
icr husband unmercifully. Ono day n friend
iskcd him why ho allowed his wlfo to beat
ilm in such an unheard of way , and ho re-
tiled thnt the beating didn't hurt him , and
javo her a great deal of pleasure.
"Now tliat ills the present attack on the
memory of ShnkcsDcaro , "
Everybody bad a good laugh over the story
'
'or the application was so apparent.
Mr. lioscwater then observed thnt Bacon
could not have made the mistake of locating
an Inland sea in Bohemia which Shakespeare
speaks of and Mr. , icfforsou said that Shake-
spenro's law was particularly lame , some-
fling that was ImiMSslhlo with the gifted
nnd erudlto Francis Bncoa.
"Olio thing about Shakespeare , " said the
lost , "ho has created the most inconsistent
character la the whole domnln of tlio stage ,
nnd that Is 'Richard | HL' I can | conceive of
no moro unnatural sight ttian when lilchnrd
moots Anne in the street on her way to the
church yard with her dead , and commences
to woo the widow of the dead klnor.
"Thnt is a lllght which ovou Klchard , cruel
md despicable ns bo was , would spurn.
\lnrlcyou \ , hero wns a woman who saw bo-
tore her the murderer of alt she hold dear ,
nor sou and her husband , nnd yet Shakespeare -
spearo makes her listen to the tale of love
which is in Klchard's head and not in his
heart , and finally gives the murderer
of her honored dead , encouragement
a his wooing. That to mo is the
most unaccountable scene In the
whole domain of the literature of the stage. "
"You are qulto right , " said Mr. Jefferson ;
'tho same idea -has occurred to mo , but I
icvor know thnt any one clso had thought of
It. It is the only flaw I know of in Shake
speare's plays. But wo sometimes crowd a
whole year or many years into n sluglo not ,
or very often scene , ana this may bo ono of
these instances. "
"Isn't it surprising , " inlorrupted Mr. Flor
ence , "thnt many of the mot accurate de
scriptions of places wor never seen by the
men who pictured theral Shakespeare
speaks of Illyrln and deicrlhos it most
minutely. Dickens wrote of Paris long be
fore ho had over seen the city. Longfellow
gave us his beautiful description of tho'i'echo
xmntry in Louisiana , through the medium of
'Evangellno'and ho novcr visited the coun
try , to mv knowlodgo-tcertaitily not until
long years after his story had found a plnco
upon every table , almost , in the land.
"It is this gift which distinguishes the
; onlus from the commoner clay , which sends
the name of Shakespeare , Dickens and Long
fellow ringing down the ngcs.
"By the way , " continued ilr. Florence , "I
liad a very delightful visit with Colonel Mike
Sheridan , and only until this evening did I
taow that ho was LtttlaPhll's' ' brother.
"And the mention of General Sheridan re
calls to mo a story In which ho figured most
'
prominently. ,
"For a number of years I have boon visit
ing the battlefield of Waterloo , nnd naturally
grew to know the host guides. An old
Frenchman , whoso name is Gouroc , has boon
piloting mo over the Hold for several seasons ,
having bcoii ono of the men who fought
under the banner of the 'Littlo ' Corporal. '
"Ono summer 1 told a number of
American friends who wore going abroad to
visit the battlefield and get old Gouroc
to pilot them about.
' The following summer I paid a visit to
the historic spot and mot Gouroc. who , of
course , was delighted to see me. Ho told mo
In his hrokon Englishwhich ho had acquired
from English and American tourists , thnt 'a
countryman of nuncn little man with zo head
of zo Napoleon , " had boon there nnd knew
more about the battle than ho did himself ,
" 'Why , ' said the Frenchman , 'ho toll mo
where zo Napoleon stood In zo charge , whcro
everybody stood , until 1 vender if ho was zo
second Napoleon. ' >
"I went over the whole list of my friends
in America , but no ono answered the descrip
tion of n 'littlo man with zo head of Na
poleon. ' ,
"Old Gouroc wns not satisfied. Ho wanted
motoknow the Amoncan who had brought
bade n Hood of recollections hocnuso of his
resemblance to Napoleon. So ho wont to his
tent nnd shortly brought u caid which the
citizen of the United States had given him.
"In looking nt it what was my surprise to
sco upon it the name 'Phil Shendnn' written
In the general's own hand.
"And strnnco to say I hud never noticed
the resemblance before.
"Tho knowledge shown hy General Sheri
dan of the disposition of the troops at the
battle of Waterloo was not remarkable , for
the manoeuvres of that day are part of the
course nt West Point , and every detail of the
battle is given with exactness. Of course ho
knew moro of the battle than did the mnn
who was 'in it. Ho had studied it from the
standpoint of the soldier , "
It was nearly the first hour of the morning
when the little company loft the dining room
and the visit of Jcllorson nnd Florence to
Omaha became a reminiscence.
Tnc LODXQBH.
The beautiful young actress , Cora Tanner ,
will closohor successful engagement at Boyd's
opera house this ( Sunday ) evening by pre
senting the powerful play , "Tho Ueiugoo's
Daughter. "
To make his patrons merry , the manager
of the Grand opera house has secured the
services of J. C. Stewart's clover comedy
company. They will appear this ovouing in
the ronrine musical larco comedy , "Tho Two
Johns. " While all such comedies bear a
certain similarity , "Tho Two Johns" hai
many distinctive features. The plot hinges
on the antics of Peter and Philip , "Tho
Two Johns. " The dilllculty in disticgulsh-
ing ono from t'ao other results in many em-
barnwsing entanglements. The situations
are comical in the oxtronq. ) ( The comedy has
been on the rona for a nuruber of vcars nnd
has bocu ona of the most popular of its kind.
It has never been presented with such nn ex
cellent company ns will appear on this occa
sion. There wil bo bright songs anci many
now specialties : by pretty girls nnd lively
comedians , who will slfitr and dance them-
solves into popular favor.
Commencing February Jfl , for throe nights
only , Donnian Thompson' nnd George W.
Kyor will produce thoiri beautiful American
drama , ' The Two.Slsters , " nt Boyd's opera
house. The play of 'Tno Two Sisters , '
differs from the ' 'Old Homestead" by beiiif ,
laid In New York and dealing with the dif
ferent characters ono moots In a day's walk
through a great city.
It coinoi to Omaha with the oclat of sue
cess In every city In the onst. Throe times
have all engagements west of Chicago been
postponed to meet the demand for return en
gagotnunU at the scenes of previous sue
ccssos nnd ns ono writer says : "Our people
have not soon enough of The Two Sisters : '
the moro they see of U the moro they wlsl
to. " Tnoro is a charm la the play that wins
the sympathies ot the audlonco from the
rise of the curtain and keeps them in their
goats till the lust word Is spoken.
ThoCblcagoTribuuo where they nro play
Ing a week's engagement says : The Two
Slaters' was a success u moro prououuco
success than was 'The Old Homestead' ' whoi
presented at MoVIckor's theater. 'Tho Twi
Sisters' Is the hotter play. It strikes a dcopci
chord of human interest in the story that I
tells , and Its stroke of humor , as well as it.
touches of realism nro the more numerous
Thcro ara situations strong in contrast , char
notfcrs vivid in colors , and sentiment as true
In feeling as they nro modest in oxprcs
slou. There Is much heart in Vho play. "
"U'o can most assuredly promlio our the
ator-goers ono of the brightest and wittiest
comodlc.1 , "Tno Prirnto Secretary , " that
vns ever constructed to carry out the hap-
Minings of every day life , the Incident * nnd
inrmlws accidents of a household , n domestic
conglomeration of humorous obstacles , most
dexterously knitted together to form an In-
cresting plot , a iilauslhlo story , nnd yet bul > -
) llng over with the most ludicrous , Iniiglinhlo
events that only a gcnlui llko Ulllotto could
conceive. This popular playwright hnd al
ready attained nn enviable reputation ns
nuthorof the military drnma "Held by the
Enemy , " nnd his closest friends were not
surprised , hut most ngrooibly enthused , on
.ho production of his mirthful comedy , "The
Private Secretary. "
From the Initial performance ftt Its prodiic-
.lon nt the Mndlson Square ' .heater. Now
York , covering over three hundred nights at
tils famous dramatic fountain-head , it has
ivcr berne the sumo magnetic influence.
Every whore C ? llletto's ' "Secretnry" is a wel
come visitor , nnd ho has been interviewed by
moro pcoplo , and many moro friends , than
any other character thnt has over graced the
stage.
Following nro the inonYbors of the company ,
same of them having appeared In the original
iroductlon nt the Madison Square theater :
Mr. U. J. DustanMr. , . Harry Allen , Mr.
rankTnnnohlil , jr. . Mr. II. A. Moray , Mr.
Herbert Fortier , Mr. Thomas A. Wlso , Mr.
jihvnrd Moroy , Mr. Charles llanillu , Miss
Mnudo Giroux , Miss Nettle Furrell , Miss
Adele Clarke , Miss Kate Wilson and Miss
Knto Ilurllngatnc.
"Tho Private Secretary" opens at the
3oyil tomorrow evening to continue until
"iVodnesduy.
or Vo Oitloti Dnyfl.
The presence of Charles Blanchett in.
Dinaha recalls the pleasant recollection bf
ho "Wild West" plays at Doyd's opera
louse , with the heroic Indian scout Hon. W.
IT. Cody ( Buffalo Bill ) and the gallant mill-
-ary author , Major Andrew S. Burt , who
vas the olUccr In charge ) at the Omaha bar >
r acks.
The sensational heroic border drama , "Tho
Cnlpht of tlio Plains. " or "May CodyLo'st
and Won , " hy Major Hurt ; thcro wai a blood
curdling tltlo for you I And the display of In
dian paraphernalia la the show windows ,
vlth the exhibit of scalps as trophies from
.ho heads of the "varmints" killed nnd taken
by "Buffalo Bill" when scoutlnc with. Gen
eral Mllo's forces In the notoj Fifth cavalry ,
n-lor to the Cutsor inassacro , were
eaUiros of such magnctlo nt-
.ractlon that people voulu crowd
around the window where the liarrow-
IIR tale was told by placards , nnd shiver at
the sight of the torn scnlis | , with the lone
dangling black hair , the tomahawks be
smeared with blood , and the moccasins aud
beaded shirts of the poor squaws and pa-
looses who had fallen In tlio trail with their
jclovcd "Lo. "
Scenes that were so strongly depleted hy
such glaring emblems ot reality , haunted the
vouthful mind and even older heads would
.urn from the ghastly omoloms , nnd thank
.heir stars they were within the borders
of civilization.
Meeting Mr. DIanchott In the lobby of the
opera house , arranging for the production of
'The Private Secretary" that Is to appear
icro the coming week , the reporter ventured
to re mark :
"Your attraction , Charlie , U qultodisslml-
nrfrom thai you wore managing when last
ncro. "
"O ; " replied the genial mnnaprer with n
< nowitip smile , "you refer to the 'Cullen
ders. ' or , probably , Buffalo Bill. Yes , In
deed I Quito a change in this city , too , sinoo
.hen. No electric of cable cars , or those mas
sive stone and brick structures ( pointing
across the street ) were thought of In 1870 ,
.ho centennial year. Well do I remember
that corner , " continued the unabashed man
ager : "Thcro stood a little novelty store
lllod with knlcK-knncks nnd bric-a-brac. I
made a contract with the proprietor for his
vlndows In lieu of a pass to tlio theater for
ili family. In order to fill up the winaow re
spectably and give It an air of Simon-pure
western characteristics , I being a little short
of scalps , found ahorso's tall at the barracks ,
tnd with the permission of Major Hurt , had
t removed from the dead cavalry horse , and
assisted by the bill-poster , wo sat down to
gether on the back steps of tbo stngo , and ,
is I directed him , ho cut off from the
all several very line Indian scalps.
[ think ono I named :
Yellow Ilorso , killed by IhifTtUo Bill May 7.
ntho llluok Hills.
Another I well remember was :
Two Hears , killed by the famous scout about
[ .lie same time , In the vicinity or Btamllng
"UCK , Dak. , whore the Into trouble exlsteil ,
"Yes , indeed , I have seen many nn Omahn
squaw trip up to that window , take a parting ;
? lance at the scalp of that poor 'cavalry
liorso' and turn away wiping her eyes at the
loss of a Sioux buck , that had such coarse ,
manly hair. "
Tlio adroit speaker described this In a mild ,
calm manner , and excused his unique method
of advertising by contrasting it with similar
other dubious tricks that were resorted to In
Berlin , Vienna , Hamburg and other Euro
pean cities lost voar when ho took Dr. Car
ver and the "wild America" abroad. Ho
then lit a fresh cigar winked his
eye , and the little curious crowd that had
gathered to hear the plaintive story , re
marked as they strolled away : "AH Js not gold
that gits tons. "
MVStVAXj A.VW l > Kfl.1IA TIC.
Sol Smith liuisoll will have a new histori
cal play next season.
Mrs. George S. Knight is reported se
riously 111 In Lima , O. , whore slio is the guust
of her sister.
'Bluo ' Grass" Is the tltlo of n now domestic
drama written by Myron Lofiingwell , and in
which the author will star under the direc
tion of Bert Kcudrick. It will have Its
Initial production at Worcester , Mass. , Feb
ruary 10.
Owing to the excessive passenger rates
now charged by the railroad coniDanics ,
"The Orcut Metropolis , " which was booked
ntthoUoyd.hos boon cancelled. Managersuro
kicking loud and long for n party rate , but
the railroads nro obduinto nnd the compa
nies , if they will como west , will have to put
up tlio sumo money for their faros as single
individuals.
Mr. P. Pavesich , of Washington , D. C. ,
has received the contract for the interior de
corations of Boyd's ' theater. Mr. i'uvoslch
will remove to Omaha in the spring and will
commence work on the Interior of what
promises to be the handsomest theater in the
west , about Juno. The prospects are now
thnt the now artist will have several line
houses to decorate during his stay in Omaha.
Omaha theater goers have a rare treat in
store for them next season , Jefferson ami
Florence will probably play throe nights at
the now Boyd theater , doing "Tho Rivals , "
"Tho Hoir-at-1-.aw , " and a double bill , "Dom-
bey & Son , " with Florence as Uap'n Cuttle ,
nnd "Loud Mo Five Shillings , " Mr. Jefferson
as Mr. Golightly. What u rare treat that will
bo.
bo.Mr.
Mr. George F. Gollcnbook , who Is ono of
the host banjo soloists in the west , has organ
ized n banjo quartette , the three other motn-
bcrs being C. Itowdcn , C. Bumgardnor nnd
A. Beaton. These gentlemen do not conllno
themselves to Jigs and the usual negro
music , but asplro to something higher In
musical art. The quartette can bo engaged
for chamber concerts by applying ut A.
Hospo's musio storo.
Inasmuch ns this is nn ago of theatrical
realism , wo have no special cause to wonder
at thnt Frenchman who has written a drama
in which the Koch lympn nnd a consumptive
man reach a triumphant climax in the last
act. After this thcro is hopa that wo may
one day have a hydrophobia play with
Pasteur as the hero. A mad dog , n mnn
suffering from hydrophobia nnd the timely
arrival of a Pastenr would stir up qulto n
stage bobbery.
Will S. Hays , the song writer , has an
nounced his determination to put ou the
stage and the road "an old-tlmo minstrel
company. " Tuat's the Idea. There U no
question that a bona ildo minstrel show ,
without any Castllians or Venetians , without
sonors or toreadors , or any interloping Inter-
potations whatsoever , would meet a rousing
welcome. The unpopularity of minstrel
shows has gene on' increasing slnco negro
minstrelsy bognn to grow too big for its old
plintatiou trowsora.
The largest gathering of people over scon
nt the opening of a sale of seats In Now York
City was present Thursday at the Garden
theater purchasing place. * for Sara Bernhard -
hard t's performance of Cleopatra , next week ,
The line was n double ono and reached from
the box oftlco on Twenty-seventh street , dear
down on Madlbnn nvcnuo to Twentv-slxtb
street and across to and around Madison
square. The crowds began forming at 7 a. in ,
and kept on swelling In number until tl p. m.
It is estimated that fully 7,001) people were in
lino. Nothing approaulilng it was seen slnoo
Charles Dlokens' readings some twenty
years ago ,
Scalp treatment , Mrs. Post,3K > ) 8.1CIU st
CATARRH.
Microbe Killer Gurus Catarrh Do Not Tnko
Our Word for It , but Hond the Evidence.
Mrwlfohni I'Osn ' nnilclot nllh ciilitrh for over
twenty roiv . Olio hns rprclveil morn tionclll from
tlio moor two milfoil * of Mlcmbo Killer tlmli fium
ull ihu rcnuMIc * n nl Muring mil.I yearn.
.1. M. MT.U'KKIl , DriiRKlnliSt. Joseph.
I novenolil nrrmcilr tlmt fratnlifltrr mitlifnrtlon
tlmn Mlcrot.o . Kllh-r. 1 know thnt It Is nil uxcullont
rumeily for citirrh.
K 11. KNIGHT , DriicelJt.St. Joseph ,
To my personal hnowloJito Jllprolm Killer ciuos
catarrh. , IOS. y. IIKOWMS ,
.Assistant 1'oMimnter , HI. Joseph.
I suffered from otnrrh for eluliloenjoar.i.niKl win
trenlotl l > r the miint skilled phf lclntn. rjiodMI-
rrobo Killer , nml It nna bcnutlltuit mo moro than
tlioii'Mitlsof aullnr * expended < > niloclOM.
WAI. WATSON , lift Ix > cu tBlrcctSt. Josepli.
Mlcrobo Killer cured mo oC n Imil ci < n of cntntrh.
11 , J. HOWUN , St. Joseph.
IsuITcrot forjrenrs fromim naurnvnleit cnso of en-
trirtli , 1 could not eel morn tlmn toinrorntr relief
frouinliy lourco until I useil Mlcrobn Killer.
8. u. UUVITT , t. Joseph.
OnOBftllonof Microbe Killer jruvo mo quick relief
for ealiirrh. I nm nawitnlnhiK In wcl litntuUtri'iialli
JlOIIIJirr SIKVKIli ) , 14G.T Wnrncr Slrcot , til , Umu.
I Imvo Imil cntnrrh for clehtoon jrcirs , nnd for tlio
pn < t flvo jenrs I wns not without terrible hc.vlnclio.
1 nmnovrnblo toito 1117 work n I < llcl when youiw.
utiUnll from the tno of Mleruha Killer.
MltS. K. J. KOSTIIIl ,
2111 Norlh llromlwnjr , St. touts.
Microbe Killer 1ms benoflttoa 1110 tory much for
cntnrrh. CIIAUI.K * .1.1IOK1IK ,
3713 N' . TiTulrthatroct , St. hauls.
WHITE FOIl IAU(3K CUtCOrAIl
THE HADAM MICROBE KILLER CO. ,
ST. JOSEPH , MO.
For snlo In Onmhn by Sherman .V McConnell , 1513
odKO St. , Kulin A , Co , iinil Mnx llcoht. "
FISCHER'S
ICE TOM (
Double Markers ,
Plows with Lift
ing ; Cains , Tongs ,
Bars and Fischer's
Improved Ice
Hooks.
BOLEAGENTa
Omalia 1405 Douglas St.
N. M. RUDDY
OPTIGIHN
211 South ICUi St. , Oranlio.
Dealer in Artificial Eyes
Selections sent to hy oxprus3 to auy pat-tot
the U. S.
DR. J. E. McGRJTlV ,
THE SPECIALIST.
More Than Fifteen Years Experience In ths
Treatment of
euro li Kunran.
PRIVATE DISEASES fr . ) In from throa
to llvu ilaji with
out the loss of an hour's timo.
w
QTDIPTIIDC t'ei-'Mnontlr curoil rlthoat
ulnlul UnCI , > : 'lnur . liKlrumonU : no cut.
tnj. | no d | | tliiI. ! The mait
cnmrknblo remedy known to modem sclunco.
CVDUI ! I ? uri'il In .to to HO daya. Dr. Mo-
u IrrllLIu ! r w'B treatment for thlj torrflilo
11 iii * > w ii0Mi ,
( itcaso Imi hocn nronounCDil
tlio roost powerful nnO ucc 8.iful rcmoilr fior al <
cuTerci ! for the nbsolulo euro of tills ill.tc.iso , llli
fUCCOit ) ! nlth this iliioase has uovur boon oqualloJ.
A complete euro ( lUAitANTEKI ) .
nnl nil nonkneisos of
LOST MANHOOD the soninl oruans.nciT-
misnosa nnd till unniit-
urnl rtlsclmric nri ) absolutely cured. Kellef la Im-
medlato and cumplcto.
Ol/ltl n IOC AC CO HhetimMlimnnilnUdls.
VMN llliStQiNtn unxe * of tlio hlood , I Ivor ,
ninnontlr cured.
" " " "
FEMALE DISEASES"--8"-
I LIIIHLL. . ' - - , . , ' - ,
) ( ) | ( ( |
ourod. Tlio Doctor's Ilomn Tro-itiiient for Mitloi U
truly n comiilcto , eonvcnlcnt nnd under fulromoJy
I.AIIIKS from 3 to 4 oxi.v.
nil BUnPDni/'C1 / ' mnrvoloui IICTOSI lias
Ulli mlinnhW A won for him n ix'putntlon
Uffllcll1 | truly nalluiial In
charnctcr , and hln uront army nf jmtlonti ronchos
from the Atlantic to the rurlfla. 'J'liu Uortor lin
Krnduntoof "llKOtTl.Aii" medlclnn nnd hai htul Ions ;
nml cnruful oipcrlt'HCO In honpltal i-roctlco. - nnd In
clm cd amonK Ilia Itmdlnn npachill'ti In modern
f clonco. Treatment tjr torrosponUcnce. Wrlto for
circular ! about each of the above illnoaioj. fliEi : , .
Office , i4th and Farnam Sts. ,
Oraulia , Nob. Hntranco on oltlicr street.
Physicians , Surgeons and Specialists ,
MOD UOUGLvAS Q
OMAHA , Niit. :
Tno most widely nnd favorably known spoo-
liill.stsln the 1'nlto 1 Suite * , Tliolr long ux-
liorlt'iice. n'timrkablunklll and umvprtnl suu-
cuss In thn treatment nnd unroof NITVIMIS ,
Chronic nnd Surclt-nl DIMMIWI , iMitlllo tlioso
eminent physicians to tlu < full ronlldmwot
the nllllctod ovurywluw. Tlicrciinrnntcm
A t'WtTAIN ' AM ) I'OSITlVn HUKK for
the awful elTooMof parly vlco and tlio numer
ous ovIN that follow In Its train.
1'HIVATK. 111.001) ) AM ) SKIN ItSKASr.3 )
spoodllv. comnli'ti'lv nml iiofiunnoiitlv uuri'il.
NKHVOU8 nnillt.lTV ANU SKXUA1. DIP-
OIIDKUS yield icadlly to their skillful treat
ment.
I'lU'.S. riSTtlhA ANnUEOTAT , UI.cr.U3
tfuurnnteod cured without pain or detention
from liUHlmis4.
llYDUOUI-Mji : AN'I ) VA1tlCOHiu : : pormn-
nonilr nml Riicccssfiiltr ourod In mory casu ,
8YPIIIWS , OONOKlillllA , flhHirr , Hpor-
inatorrliu.i.Somliml Weakness Lost Manhood ,
Nlglit KiiilMlon , " . Decayed Kiicultles , I'oinalo
Weakness and nil ilullnato disorders peculiar
to cither snx positively cured , IIH veil us nil
fu n I'tlonnl disorders that ri'siill from youthfuU
follies or thn oxcossof mnturo yours.
9'rKMP'nil ? ! ' t'uarantred ' iiormano ntly
O 1 l\l\j 1 UlXlj
uiued , tomovnl eompU > ti < ,
without citttlni ; , cumlio or dilatation. Cures
elToctc'd at homo by patient without o tno-
incnt's pnln or annoyance.
TO YOUNG AND MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
A 91I1 ? ! ' rilttl' Tl" ! ftwfl11 eToets of
/ \ . OU1VL L/UiM. .
LUiM.arly , vlco which lirlnm
oricnnlo weaknefs , drstroylnir Imth niliul luul
body , with all Its droided Ills , poiiimiiontly
rurud ,
T1K UlJ'riX Address those who Imvo Im-
Ul\O. liljl 1 < J piilmil thoni'.i'lvos by Im
proper Indulgence und solitary halilts , whleli
ruin both mind and body , imllttlng them for
business , stud \ - or .
MAHItlii : ) MiN : ortliosu onlorliiK on ( hub
haiipy life , awme of pliyslcal deblllty.iiulekly
assisted.
OUR SUCCESS
Is based uiion fuels. 1'lrst I'rnctlcal experi
ence. Second l'\ery case Is specially studied ,
thus starting rlKht. Third medicines uro
propaicd In our labonitory exactly to flirit
each case , thuselTcctlng cures without Injury.
Drs. Betts & Belts ,
H09 DOUGLAS STREET , OMAHA , NEB
RECEIVED NEW
A lot of very flno JtijHincsa
Goldfish , a for il.tU.
Imported Ilnrtz Mountain
Cnnnrlcs wnrrnntoil First
duns Hlnpors M.50 ouch , fo-
inulud II..3 ouch.
Tnllcliig Purrota from J15.00
up.
Good MooldngbliiU , J3.00
e rich singer.
Vlijjlnla Cnrrtlnnls J3.S
each sinner.
1 very flno full-blooded
whlto HulliloK JUO.liO.
417 South 16th St. ,
MAX GtlSLER
, OMAHA ,
WOODBURY'S FACIAL SOAP
For the Skin ami Scalp.
i Prepared lir ft Derm tolnsl t with
! 5U } r r ' ejr"1 . un < wiu lru
for rczcma , ftcnldhoiu ! , nlly pkin ,
, fleiili wunni , chspiwil handn. mco -
ulir portpiratlon , ugly complnxlon.
etc. A" unfailing remedy for all
ccalpafTcctlont } , anrl iv mire prevent-
_ ITO of nil forms of ekln illscaaea.
For Silo by Druggists or sent by mill , Price CO cents.
Facial JHcMiiislios.
U1u-trMt.l , oft all ikln ftnd ! ] ) ITet.tloni nU Ibalr Irulnif 1 Mul
( , e l il ) for 100. C < pnilUilfii fre * . Hi tfflc or l > y lelUr ,
JUUN II. TVOOIUJUIIV , l > i > rnmtoloji ! t ,
ISC IV , 4SU tit. , N c\v TsTork. CUy.
Foil IiAuirs OM.v--Ir. IxMitc's Periodical 1'HM
the French remedy , not on tliomeiiilnmlsystL-miiMcl
euro ii | ) | > rcs lon irom wlmtuTor cnuto. I'romolon
menstruation. These pllln should not l > o token dur
ing iireunniicy. Am. I'll ! Co. , Uoynlty 1'roiu. , Hpen-
ecr. Cl.iy Co.la. tienulno by Slicrmnii & McConnell ,
llmluOBt. . near I'.O..Onutin : U A. Sicklier , Koutli
Oruulmj M. 1' . Kills , Council Hindu. J. ' , or a for K.
!
JI - . for the above ilix'ow ; liilts
use thotMandd of cn * s of tlio worfctUndnndof IOIIR
( landing hare beua cured. I ndonl fn rtrong Is my filth
in Its ilWc ry. that I will imnd TWO liOTTLr.s rnKK.sillU
aVAI.UAIU.K TKKATISR ontlil9dlsoabotouiiy uf-
forof who will inilmo thi'ir iipr i and I'.O.adilieia.
T. A. Mlocmiih M. C. , 181 1'fiirl .St. , N. Y. _
Contractors'Supplies ,
Wheel Barrows ,
Shovels Scoops , Bars.
IIocs , Hose , Picks
Wire and Manilla Rope ,
Tackle Blocks ,
All Kinds Twines
*
Butchers' Tools ,
' '
Carpenters''Tools ,
Coopers' Tools ,
Machinists , Tools ,
Moulders' Tools
Builders' Hardware.
AGENTS FOR
Yale & Towne Fine Bronze Goods ,
Win. T , "Wood & Go's. ' Ice Tools ,
1511 Dodge Street ,
Tolosbono. 4P.7.
] MEW YORK DEMTHL ] PRRLQR8
N. E. Cor. 14th and Farnam Sts.
DR. F > . LA. BKLOWNEX ,
$4.00 § 4.00
Wowlll ' nmko you u set of tooth , iisln ? the best ruhhnr , nnd OUAIlANTRI'a fit , fur $1.53.
l'AINI/isS : nXTUAOTION-Wllli our inotlioi ) . touth are Kxtruclod AhsoUitoly Without Pain
( ! ol < l. Bllvor nnr ) Itnuo Illlln ( . ' . Crown ami llrldeu WnrK.
Our .Motto-Tho 1IKST Uciitsil work , ut LOWEST llvlnu prlcos.
THE ORIGINAL AND OCNUINC. TUonly H fp. H rr , HfrttatM PHI for I it * .
Aillf * * uk l > rottUl fw CkcM ( Anjflfj % / > i < iM < w < i J/ra J Ut llptl n4 &J < 4 UH it 11 to
t > oi t * ! ! wlUblu ribbon , Tolionu otlicr Llnl. Jttfvtt Subttitutiontn .
> ll pill * In | Jirbou4 Iwiet , plok wr pper § ( r d niifroim f ft ixl M
' * ' l ( ll r ( up l.a 1latH tnttlUr , k ; relHrn AliilL
Jo'.OOOTtUlmotiUU. A im4'jprr , 'CHICHCQTCR CHEMICAL Co. , M ill > un HquBn
< 4 L tj aU L cul Dru l U. I'lllLAOtU'UU. 1 > A >