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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 26, 1890)
14 'J-JtUli KJSHLJO LJ.myjUUX JDJlaU " - a J-iliM U Ait X ZO , 10 JU OiA.XJ&iliiN JTAiaJBiP 7Sp SENATORS WHO WILL FIGHT , Sotmthtna About the Quarrola In Our Houao of Lord 3. WHEN SHERMAN CARRIED A GUN liiRnlln Itciuly to Ilnok (11 * Klcry Ut * lormiocn nn tlio Field of Honor " " " The DnuioiiB nml the Ijllilnioi Fcnntnrlnl rcrnppcr . ICowriaMttiX ) . hu Frank O , Cartxnttr.l Wasiiihotox , Jon S3. | SpecInl to Tnn Hrr | The trouhlo between Scnntors Call end Plumb will probably inalto them enemies for life nml another feud will ba added the many which now exist In the United States Senate A dozen odd senators do not spc.\l < to each other nlrcndy nnd the bitter political Bpccchcs of the past week are by no moans calmlnK the troubled waters The stlntfs of debate last long after tlio sessions are over nnd there are personal roinartti tnntlc ovcry session which rnnklo In the souls of the scn ntors nt whom they nro dlrectod Call will not forfrot that I'lumb called him a coward nnd Plumb will never forglvo Call for naylne that ho was n bad man , a vain man , a weak tiian and ol boorish manners nnd contomptablo methods , Had these words boon uttered bo- forotho war the result would probably hnva been a duel but ns It Is the two men will sit in the senate , sneer at each others speeches nnd pass by otio another without spcaldnp John Sherman and \Vado Hampion hnvo not spoken to each other for years and the trouble arose In reply to Bomo correspond ence ) which Hamilton had with Sherman wbllo ho was secretary of the treasury Chandler wants nothing to do with Joe litacliburn since that stormy trouble arose In the sosslon of the committco "on Indian traders nnd the sonntor from Kentucky nt- tempted to pull the oar of the senator from Now Hampshire Chandler denies that his onr was pulled hut ho acknowledges thut ho rccolvcd threats and other IndlRnltlos IIo will never forgot them and Blackburn will long remomner the oltcnsivo remnrk of Mr Chnnalcrin which ho sold that ho would Dot bo bulldozed by uny negro driver from Kentucky " SENATOR tSOALW' QUAHlU' tS Senator Ingalls Is mixed up in naif a dozen feuds The aomncratio senators ns a mass hnto hi in worse thun the devil hates holy water nnd there nro a number of the demo cratic senators with whom ho can never bo on friendly terms Ono of these Is Joe Brown of Georgia , whom the Kansas senator held up to ridicule about six years aeo , under the tltlo of Bcnntor from Alaska Hrown had said that ho would not make the scnato the Bccno of a coarse personal quarrel and that in his conflicts with bravo men ho had never boon accused of cowardice Ho re ferred to Ingnlls' nttonuatca form and in timated that no ono was much afraid of tno Kansas senator In reply to this Senator Ingalls in ado a llury speech , accus ing Brown of changing the record of the Bpnato , calling him "a sanctimonious hypocrite who was forever washing his hands with invisible soup in imperceptible water " Under this title the senator from Alaska has characterized Hrown ns the Uriah Hccp of the senate , as the Joseph Sur- foco of American politics , ns a sniveling po litical Pecksniff who had bcloneod to every political party in his life tinio none of which bo did not betray " At the close of his Bpccch ho said ho was willing to have the senator from Georgia take his remarks in any sense which he saw lit to take thorn and that ho did not shrink behind the privileges of the chamber JOR BROWNS DUEL It was supposed that nothing less than a dual could como from these remarks After n day or two , however , the matter quieted down and nothing mora was hoard of the trouble The two senators will , however , never bo friends though both of them hola each other In decided respect The fact that they did not light cannot bo considered an imputation upon the bravery of either for both have shown thcmsolvcs to do ready to fight in days of the past nnd had either sent a challcna there is no doubt that thu other would have accepted It Senator Joe Brown once came within an ace of lighting a duel with Bob Toombs Toombs and ho had a quarrel as to reconstruction measures and the story is that both expected to fight ' Toombs made no preparation for the duel j Joe Hrown went about his arrange I ments In the same practical business | way for which ho Is so noted and which has ! made him a success as a fortune maker and j a great statesman Ho drew up his wlll.put his estate in order and clipped all the trees of bis ncchard In practicing with his pistol I think it , was In this affair that Brdwn called Toombs an unscrupulous liar , and that j Toombs in talking to ouo of his friends about it churnctorized Hrown as a hypocnt- ical old deacon , saving ! What can I do with htm If I challcneo bun ho will dodge bdhlnd the door of the Baptist church , " nnd ho then referred to the Btatcmont of Bon Hill In reply to Aloxundor II Stephens , Wherein Hill refused to light , sayjng to Sto- j pbons , Sir , I have a family to support und j n God to serve but you have nolthor " j This remark of Toombs wns reported to Brown and Urown went to his church and cot a ccrtiftcato stating thnt ho had loft it Ho sent the cortillcato to Toombs and told him thut ho would bo glad to accommodate him and that ho would accept any challcniro ho might make It was whllo Toombs was j waiting to make his challenge thnt ho prac tices with his pistol Toombs know thut ho was n good shot and ho svod his llfo by not enylng anything more about it j SEN'ATOIl ISOAI.LS' nliAVSUT ; As to Senator Ingnlls' ' bravery , there are i numerous stories told of his uouragn in Kan- I sas during and Deforo the war Ho was 1 sitting ono day eating his dinner in a hotel in I Atchison It was nt the tlmo that Ingulls i had first como to Kansas and ho hud S already made two or three of his pyrotechnic i oratorical displays As ho sat there a \ drunken ruffian entered the room with a \ pistol In his hands Ho saw Ingulls nnd said : \ See here , young man ; they sny you are a t blanked good speaker Now I want you to set up and make mo u speech , or I will shoot 8 out of you " Ho then painted his revolver at Ingnlls Ingalls looked him In the eye and tbo revolver ver In the mouth ana replied thut ho did not intend to mnko a suooeh for any drunkartl The man continued to swear mid flourish bis cocked revolver Ho jumped upnndriown as ho did so and by accident his boot struck his pistol and bo shot hlmsolf in the log Ills boot was soon full of blood This sobered him and ho loft the dining-room. Ingalls went up stairs , brought down his pistol , laid it down bcsldo his plate and wont on with his eating The man wont out in the street , got into a shooting affray and was killed that afternoon BESATOn SlienMAN'3 ' DUBU Senator Sherman came very near havlug a duel at Just about the beginning of the wnr Ho was Insulted by a member of the homo aud ho picked up u box of wafers nnd throw it In the mans fuco Kvory ono supposed that the result would bo a shooting ufTruv and Sherman carried a pistol for some tlmo after the occurrence Ho hud this pistol in his pocket the first day that ho met tbo man in whoso faca ho had thrown the wafers , and ho passed him on the stone flagging which surrounded the fish pond which used to bo In front of the capltol Sherman kept his eye on the man expecting an attack , and I think ono i hand was un his pistol In his pocket , Wright , however this I think was the name of the tnan failed to attack him and no challenge was sent Sherman had his bravery tested in the Kansas-Nebraska troubles , when ho was sent west ou the house committee to In vestigate thorn The committee were often M in Hunger of tholr lives , and they received many threats on paper marked with coffins aud skulls and cross bones At ono time Senator Sherman tells mo , "a hoary-headed ruffian came in aud denounced him In the rudest and most threatening of terms , paint ing the air red with profanity Shorthand was then a now thing In the west , aud as the man went ou Senator Sherman motioned to bis stenographer to take down his language When ho bad concluded his tirade Senator Sherman told him ho ought to bo careful as to how he assaulted a member of congress of the United States when ho was carrying out the orders of the government , and told him that he baa a record of every word ho hud said The man sneered and swore and practically called Mr Sher'mhn n liar Sherman then asked his stenographer to read to him what ho had said , and the man listened dumbfounded as ho heard his remarks recited verbatim It xccmod ft ml- nele , nnd ho was frightened at the possible results Ho nsked to see a page of the notes It was handed him He looked at It and clutching his hair yelled out : "Hnakusby G < U" Whether ho thought he had the delirium tremens or not , Senator Sherman says ho does not know , but ho loft the committco room a scared man , and carried his pistol nnd his profanity off with him l.VOALI.S VEII8US BLACKnUHM AMD VOOntlEE1 ! . Senator Ingalls was severely denounced by Senator Joe Blackburn nbout two yenrs ngo and Ingulls and Blackburn might bo culled the two fighters of thosennto Neither seems to bo hapnv unless he Is In a quarrel nnd both deal In oratorical pyrotechnics , de lighting in the invcctlvo T hey go about the scnato with chips nn their shoulders defying any ono to knock them off and ready to light nt n moments notice At the last quarrel between the two ench washed for the other such dirty linen ns ho could find connected with hlu war record and the sotio of the cleansing got Into the c.vos of both to such nn extent thnt they do not smlla as they pass by mid tholr souls nro filled with hatred It Is much the same with Ingalls and Voorheos nnd If the senator from Kansas dispenses ns much vitriol during the present sosslon In proportion to the political oxclto- ment as ho tins douo during these of the past he will hardly have a speaking acquaintance with mora than half a dozen democratic sen ators In his trouble with Voorheos the lat ter called hint n liar , nnd the senator from Knnsas retorted that "If the senate of the United States wns a police court the senator from Indiana would bo sentonccd to the rock pile and hard labor " Ho paid his compli ments to Senator Voorhccs' war record nnd described the exciting trouble which took place in the north ns well ns the south in terms by no means complimentary The power of Ingalls added to his wonderful brnln and torrlulo tongue lies in his knowledge of the porsonnl records of his brother senators Ho scorns to have printed documents In his study detailing every act of their lives from their births to the present moment Ho has all suoh information nt his tongues end and his perceptions are so kcon thut ho knows Just where to strike hardest und hurt the most Ho feels hard knocks , however , nnd the democratic senators occasionally cut deeply into his scnsiilvo anatomy Joe Urown suc ceeded In doing this perhaps as much us any of his opponents nnd both Blackburn and Vourhcoso caused him considerably moro than an unpleasant quarter of an hour OTiir.it sKXAiouiAi ruins There are a nutnbor of other senators who nro not on the most friendly terms with os.ch other Morgan of Alnbatmi and Mitchell of Oregon will never sleep in the same bed and It is hardly possible thnt their relations will over become frlondly The trouhlo occured not very long ngo when Senator Morgan charged Senator Mitchell with being n repre sentative of railroad corporations nnd wheu Senator Mitchell retorted by saying thnt whatever ho might do uud that he would not discuss , ho had never disgraced himself In the senate bv reeling into the chamber In n stnto of beastlv Intoxication us the senator frpm Aahibamn had done Senator Harris and Senator Hlsoock have not been on good terms slnco their fuss nt the latter part of the lust session regarding the Bureau of Ungravlng nnd Printing nnd there nro a number of senators who seem tn have a secret antagonism towards ono another This docs not como out in their speeches , and it does not affect to any great decree their intercourse It is often so with senntors from the same statu You seldom see Sherman nnd Payne together , and the representatives of the great state of Ohio have nothing in common Senator Chandler and Senator Ulair nro not hand nnd glove us two great statesmen who have interests in common should bc.nnd Chandler evidently thinks Hltiir a crunk , and Hlair apparently knows It Ingalls and Plumb are friendly enough , but they do not hobnob to gether , and Kdmunds and Merrill , though good friends , are by no means boon compan ions It Is the same with many of the ether senators representing the same stuto NEW SKS'ATOltS WUO Vflhh FIOUT There are a number of mon amonrf the new ndditions to the chamber who will not bo ufraid to resist if they nro attacKed this session Senator Turnlo of Indiana , has not had a chauco to show his power of invective as yet Ho Is considered one of the strong est speakers In this line in the whole stnto of Indiana and the republicans will prob- nbly hear something drop before the winter is ever Ho is little and insignificant look ing , but bo has a gallbag nt the routs of bis tongue ns big ns thnt of Ingalls' , nnd his command of language is almost as great Moody of Dakota , wllbcirtainly resist If at tacked , and there nro many storlos of his bravery in the Indiana legislature which have not gotten into print 1 dent , believe he will fiht a duel now but bo has accepted a challenge in bis day and ho comes from the lighting frontier Another possible fighter is the republican senator-elect , banders of Montana If ho should get his scat he will display to the senate a tongue much the same as that of Ingalls , and ho has shown himself to possess a courage onual to thut of any man in public llfo Ho was ono of the chief organbors of the Montunu vigilantes , who cleaned out the road noonts from the territory and who hung more than twenty men The first of these was George Ives , nnd Sanders mudo the speech against him while his frlonds were standing around with their hnndB on their pistols This speech con victed Ives , and I heard a story tonight of nn Incident that occurred thut same evening nt Virginia City Colonel Sanders was quietly reading in ono of the stores of the town when u desperado namau Harkey Meada came into the room with his revolver stuck into the band , of his pantaloons in front IIo came up to Sanders nnd commenced abusing bim and called him all sorts of names Sanders - dors went nn with tits reading without notic ing him for n moment , and then dropping his hand into his overcoat pocket , ho cocked the derringer which lav there and rulsaa his eye to the bully and murderer , as ho quietly said , "Hurvoy , I should fuel hurt If some men used such language to mo , but from such a dog as you It is not worth no ticing " The men who were in the store upon this caught hold of Meade and dragced him out He afterwards admitted to San ders that he iutonded to kill him HIE PAMONS AX ! ) rTTIIIASES 01" TUB SENATE The friendships of the senate , however , are moro numerous than the onmltlos The eighty-two mon in the chamber uro as a whole muchliko a big club , nnd they associate hero moro llko college boys than llko domocruts and republicans Many of the states have senators who are frlondly with each nther , nnd Spooner and Sawyer work together , Beck and Blackburn are often Been arm la arm , and Heck has friends on both sldos of the chamber Ono of the most popular sen ators Is Senator Stanfordand his popularity , It may be , comes somowhut from his gener ous purse IIo never lunches alone , und ho gives many a good dinner both at the capl tel ana at bis rcsldouca It was the same with Palmer of Michigan who possesses moro elements of goodfellow- ship than any man iu the Bonatn and the friendship of Palmer and Manaerson was ono of the noticenblo things of the chamber The two were always tocetber and ono win ter Manderson and his wife lived with Senator ator Palmer in his big h > use on MaoPhorson square Vest of Missouri and Pugb of Ala bama are great friends though they hold different views on the tariff Question , and vnu may often see these two rough diamonds known as George and Cockroll bob nobbing together It Is funuy how mon of the most different temperaments become nttaohod to one an other , Phlletus Sawyer , the millionaire Wisconsin senator , is as broad as ho Is long and his fat round belly shakes llko a bowl of jelly over every good story ho hears Ho Is a man of brains as well as money and ho is the direct ouposlto of that tall , thin grandmother In specs known as Senator Payne The two are great chums and they sit und gossip for hours together whllo the most bitter of political speeches are being made In the chamber The fact that ono is a democrat und the other a republican does not affect their good fellowship BToniES or vex cameuox Don Cameron is a good friend and a bad enemy The especial object of his avorslon in the person of Vat Wyck of Nebraska baa left the chamber , Cameron carries la hit soul the friendships and enmities of bis father and ho Jutted Van Wyck because he had made a bitter personal attack upon Simon Cameron when ho was la the house of representatives He also assaulted Van W.vck at the time that ha made charges against Attorney General Brewster some years ace and tno scene of that day is not yet forgotten in the senate chamber Came < ron was very 111. He got op In front of \ an Wyck and Interrupted him in his speech Ho shook bis fist at him and told htm not to talk : any moro In that direction There was an uproar In the cham ber The vice president tried to restore or der and Cameron finally was taken by his friends Into ono of the oloak rooms and per * suaded tolls down on a sofa The great friendship of Senator Cntnoron and Senator Hutler of South Carolina also starts , I nm toldwith Don Cameron's fitthor The incident occurred before the war when Simon Cameron was elected to the scnato and through some hitch or other came very near missing his Boat Pierce Hutler , Sena tor Uutlor's undo was then a senator from Sonth Carolina Ho made a fight for Simon Cameron and It was his speeches and vote that gnve him his seat After the question wns settled Mr Hutler wont over to Camer on nnd said : Senator Cameron 1 won this fight for you and there Is one thing I want you to do for mo In return , I want you to send me a quart bottle of your best Pennsylvania whisky " Ill Bend you n barrel , " said old Simon , as ho shook his hands with Kiorco Hutler , and when vo'j want anything else call upon mo and Ill do It " Ho sent Hutlnr the barrel of whisky nnd ho continued his friend ns long as ho lived , Don Cameron inherited the friendship for the Hutler family , and when the present Senator Uutlcr came to the senate , it hap pened that there was some difficulty about his sent It was n party question , but Don Camoron.so the Btory goes , oroko away from the republicans in this case and voted with the democruts His vote made Uutlor's ' posi tion Bccure , and ho thus paid the debt of bis father to Butlers uncle PlUXK O. CAitrENTrit SAIjT liAKIj C1TV NOTES Utah's Cnpltnl ns n Health llosnrt It-nl Knintc CiintintitM Kit-m. Salt Lake Citt , Jon 23. [ Special to The Bee.J Dr Gulllemotof Cedar ltApids , Neb , n physician of considerable ropuution , has decided to open un ofllco in Salt Lnko City , As ho Is un authority on hygienic matters , and a type of many Intolllcont newcomers , I usked the doctor for bis opinion of Salt Like City , Its climate nnd general adaptation ns ono of the great sanitariums of the United States The doctor answered In substnnco : "I foci cortaln that there Is no other point be tween the Atlantic and PaclUc , superior to this In respect to nit that makes a locality the homo for a health seeker There Is an cuuillbrium in the tompcraturo , nn elasticity in the air that gives health nud buoyancy to old nnd young Added to these climatic ad vantage * there is the great Salt Luno nnd the superior hot and warm sulphur baths , the vicinity of still higher altitudes , afford ing the most perfect health resorts in the summer , bo thnt taken altogether , the chnruUcr of the place 1b such ns to make It one of the great sanitariums of the world , far superiur on account of its mild and yet bracing air , to many famed resorts on the coast "I expect " the doctor continued , "to see thousand ufllietcd with asthmatic and lung troubles iloclt hero to regain tholr health , whllo as for women in delicate health , I know of no locality that combines so many nd vantages for the niltnents peculiar to the sex " "I have hoard similar statements from a well known physician from Iowa Dr Einers , who is alsu llko Dr Guillemot , nn authority on diseases of women The Increasing faith in the brilliant future of Salt Lake City , as witnessed bv many now coiners , many of them capitalists from Denver und other big cities thut have passed through a successful poiiod or rapid growth , forms a basis for speculation that olds fair to bo rolmblc Great things are planned nnd greater honed for 'l ho city council has voted for the Im mediate orcetion of u county court house and city hail combined Tno United States gov ernment Is exp3ctcd to obtain from congress nn appropriation for a grand build ing lor federal purposes The pav ing or macadamizing of our mncniuccut strcots and a still further extension of an ulUcicnt system of sewerage uro some other measures of public utility that Will receive nttention In a cllmato like ours the sprink ling of the principal streets is an absolute necessity , aud whllo much has been done , a great deal moro will bo done this summer The real estate market continues Arm , transfers being rather in excess of S150.000 per day reaching over $ )00UOJ on some days , counting only sales by wananty deed A tendency to boar the market is felt , tn view of the near election , but the material pro greiss of the city nnd surrounding country is so great that it sufllces of itself to secure a regular and steady advance Eastern cap ital Is being freely invested and is sure to reap u satisfactory hurvest The steadiness of our onward movement resembles very much the Bteidy growth.of Denver This Is because our mountains and holds harbor nn increased wealth whio'i thelsteadlly ex tending milroad lluoi arj making moro and more available Wo nnvo not only coal and Iron ore in nbtndanoj but p. educe silver in large quantities , the famous Ontario initio being poiit.VJly the richest and best-paying mine in the world , while the output of lead , copper , gold and other metuls is steadily in- creusinc How healthy the financial situation Is ap pears also from the sinallness of the delin quent tax list There arj scarcely any de linquent taxes less th in one-third of an ordinary newspaper column containing the whole list , nnd one-third of it being in oiu nume The following stalistic3 , furnished by Messrs Sbllev , Groshell & Co , may also bo quoted , ns showing the regular , though rapid ndvauco to a wonderful prosperity : 18S7 4 3,0011,307 IbSa 5,3WM5 1330 15 , .U-V15r These ligurcs prove thut Suit Lake City is unquestionably a must excellent Held for the investor C. A. Eoosut , MUUCAli AXI > OltAMATlC , Ben Stern has resigned us manager of Kojunku " There is talk of establishing u musical college ut Yale Joseph Jefferson und W. J. Florence arn truvoliug in thtlr prlvato car , The Itlvals " Miss Maude Hall has been engaged to play the lending female part with Edgar Selden In Will O' ' the Wisp " Lottu will go on the road ngain next Reason - son , nnd a tour has been booked for bur ex tending to Suu Francisco Mr Harnes of Now York Is proving to bo so much of a success that Manager Frank Sanger has booked it for nearly all of next season , chielly in the largo cities Ono of the features of too phonograph ex hibition nt the Uattlo of Gettysburg In Now York City is a portion of an after dinner speech recently delivered by Lord Salisbury the Engjlsh Premier , Mr Lawrence Dnrrott sails for Europe February 1 for an extended vacation , Next Bouson he hopes to appear with Mr Booth , and a big spectacular production of King Henry V. " is bolng talked about It is made known by Mrs David Bid well , widow of the late manuccr and owner of the St Charles theater and Academy of Music , New Orleans , that she Intends to dlsposo of the St Charles , retaining the Academy , Hlch & Harris abandoned the management of the Old Jed I'routy" company , and nro now nt work organizing tholr big pantomlmo company , which is to open the Academy next season in advance of Denman Thomp son , The principals for the now Do Wolf Hop per oporabouffo company , comprises Marion Manolu , Lillie Grubb , Herbert Stanley , Thomas Q. Seabrooko , Jotophlno Knapp Herbert Crlpps und Alfred Kllno , bosldcs , of course , Do Wolf Hopper hlmsolf Miss Fanny Davenport will nut be managed by Messrs Kiaw and Erlanger next season All the persons concerned speak in the most pleasant terms of ono another und say that their purling is purely a business urrungoment and not caused by any quarrel Gorge F. Krowolf , who was well known and generally liked by theatrical people until be took it into bis bead to decamp with some of "A Brass Monkeys earnings in Boston , Is said to have found bis way to Montreal , where he Is engaged in driving a street car The richest man In Russia Count Scher * omtjow , is about to produce Puscb kin's play , Boris Godunow , " in his own bouse , and bas spent 30,000 rubles on scenery and cos tumes The performers will be noble ama teurs , and the royal opera will supply the muslo and choruses Dr Blrnoy , practice limited to ca tarrhal diseases of nose , and throat Rooms 218 and 250 , Boo building THOUGHTS lN-LIGttTKR VEIN , ttt- Wnlfs from the World of Wit and nnd Humor 'ATI HE WAS PREDESTINED TO RUN 3 T TheoloRjr on ( he IlnttloIlMit-N'o Po etry In Pudding Sntioe Had a Family 116w JIo Saved tli Pants ' h i i The Plumber t /Jojfon courifr The netor down to the footlights strode , And his strides they were immense And from his parted lips there flowed A stream of eloquence What caused the actors head to spin And his sight to lcavo hlni thorol 'Twas the blaze of tno plumbers diamond pin Which gleamed In nn orchestra chair Another Cnio of Protlcstlnntlon Mtlwitukoo livening Wisconsin : A few hours before the otiRiiBomont nt Dnndrldjjo , Tctm , two members of the 1st Wisconsin Cnvuh'y had it warm dls- nuto ever the tnnttor of foreordinatlnn , Ono of thorn stoutly maintained thnt the time und plnco of every mans donth nro nppointod before hnnd With equal fervor the ether trooper maintained that the hollof in foreordinntion is tlio greatest n on son so imtipitinblo : Soon utter the oiiRajToinont opened the regi ment , which hud boon lighting on foot Was forced to boat n hasty rotrcat , and the bcl'cvor ' in forcordlnation and his onpononl in the recent debate were two ol the most niinhlo runners among the Union troops They happened to meet when the pursuit ceased The man who had condemned the theory of foraordlnution thought ho had a good joke nn tlio other • Look " said "if hero , Charley , ho , the tlmo of your death is foreordained , what mudo you run ? " Well , you boo , " was the reply , "it was forcortlnincd thnt I should run , aud run like the devil , too " A lon < Tribulation ? . A lady of Bostonwho is distinguished for the bonuty and literary vnluo of hur sonnets , says the Advertiser of that city , rolntos that she was once asked , in nlottcr from a remote acquaintance , to furnish a nooin to bo road at the ob servance ot the sovcnty-llfth birthday of n very dear aunt of the writer "I will toll you some of aunts character istics , " the letter wont on She is a dear , good soul , una for mnnv years she has worn white lace caps She has also been distinguished In the fnmily for excellence of a certain kind of pudding sauce which she alone can make Will you kindly ennoble these character istics in your poem ? " The poet is very obliging , und was not unwilling to do a favor to an acquaintance And , " she said , nfterward , "I struggled hard with the laeo cups , hut I was leally obliged to draw the line at the pudding sauce " 1 lie National l < Inwor nt Last Boston Transcript : Tlio little boven- year-old daughter ' of a lending physi cian in a neighboring city heard the question as to what flower would make the bust national emblem discussed at considorablu length only the ether day by a party of guests at her fathers d in ner table Each guest had given an opinion and supported it with the cus tomary nrgumeiits wKon suddenly the little girl woke ud ; ' Papa , " she said , j"I know what 1 think would ho the best national emblem blem " „ ' , * • , Well , Josephine , ' 1 said her father , what is it ? ' * * She answered with an air ot rollof , as if glad to have the question definitely settled : The chestnut ! " lie Had : i nutilly Portland Orcgoniitn : In making final tproof before the United Stales land of- 'llco , Judge Guichard of Walla Walla , usually asks : Have you a family i" ' Most of them nnswor tn the nlllrmativo , but the ether day he got hold of a man who had the biugest family on record Have you a family ? " said the judge as ho pulled down his vest Yes , sir " said the man , somewhat confused What does it consist of ? " continued Mr Guichard Well , " said tlio man , looking up toward the coiling as if to refresh his mind and glvo a true ac count , "a wife end twelve children , two married , a hired man , a gang plough , a seeder , a Bain wugon and a pair of mules " "That's enough , " said the judge with a srailo and the man got his final papora without any further trou blo Riulcl Koiiiinmy St Joseph ( Mo ) Herald : There is a good story told of the economical quali- Hios of two well-known and wealthy gentlemen living in the east part of town that is a good lesson for these recklessly extravagant persons who nro not possessed of the true spirit of econ omy On a certain night ono of these gentlemen called on the ether to trans act u little business at the formers res idence The host lighted a candle that they might oxuminu some papnrs , but immediately blow it out again , when they were through , leaving both sitting in the dark Why did you blow out the candloV" asked the caifor "Oh , wo can talic in the dark as well aB in the lightand it saves thocandlo , " wiib the roplv They continued tholr conversation for a short tlmo , when the host hoard some mysterious sounds coming from the direction of the culler's chair , and inquired what his friend was doing Why , " sold his friend , Its dark in hora , und no ono can see mo , so I thought I would takoolT my trouBors to save the wear on them " Hy the Quart The Epoch : An dnthusiastlo pro hibitionist , when < ho learned that his follow pa3songor''iwas ' from Georgia , tackled hlra nt once ; , . ' 'I ' am very glad to know , sir , " ho .salp' that you are a resident of that grand old stuto What's the Ifttost prohibition news from your section'f" "WoU , " replied the Georgian , "peoploj were a little slow In coming around tolwy ithy the quart at fust , but they've got right smart UBed to it now , stranger , ' ' ; " What TrnuUled Him Now YorkTruth : Yqung dude Might I ask you , Miss alil rMles Miss do Ball V6ry jerry , sir , but am engaged for the nqpet "Yorko , " Young dude ( brjtcing up ) It Is not dancing , MiBS ah it is , ah its beg ging your pawdon , Miss , you are sitting on my hat No EnlarKftinentNertled Lawrence Amorlcan : County School master ( just out of college ) Dent you think , Mr Greene , that the curriculum should bo enlarged next yoarV Squlro Greene ( of the school committee - too ) Enlurgod ? Not a bit • The buildings ing's big enough In every way What wo want to do , though , is tor touch moro things Helort Courioous Now York Sun : "I'dhavo you know , " said Cholly Van Antwerp , that my rep ttUtlon la m dear to mo ns anyone's can bo to him " "I should Jtidue that it cost a good deal to got n reputation like jours " ttn Ynlun Inurensnil , Epoch : Wife Mother wants to oomo nnd make us a visit , John , but I'm afraid she never will ns long ns wo have that parrott She dotcsts parrots . HiiBband Does bIio Wife Yes , and vou know you have a standing offer of $50 for that bird Husband I wouldn't soil that parrot for SICO llobinn'n Otiolcc Judge : In court A lawyer who wns pleading n case noticed that the judge had fallen nsluop But slnco there Is no ono to hear mo " ho wont on , raising his voice Pardon , " replied the judge , waking up with a Btnrt , "it is precisely hocnuso 1 wnsllstonltig toyouthntlfoll asleep " 1'rolessKmul tuncnntration Merchant Traveler : That was a ter rible thing , " bulil Jciilts to the family physician What was that ? " asked the doctor That uprising among the iron foun dries " "No , I hadn't hoard of it " "It was a gonornl breaking out ; an ex tremely rnsh nITalr ' ' Hut , my dear sir said the doctor in a far-nwuy , preoccupied tone , there la nothing romarknhlo In thnt A break ing out is in the natural course of things n rash affair " Knsy Gnonich When Ho Iliiln't Try Now York Sun : Driving over the hills of western Jersey last week a reporter stopped at a lonely little cabin , in front of which nn old man wns chopping wood , und inquired the dibtanco to An thony The lank and nged citi/.uu strniirhtoncd up and attempted toroply IIo got as far n : "T-t-t-l-t-ttt , " when Mb face grew red and Ins grimaces became distress ing Ho stoppod.tonk n full broathand triofl again with no better success He was thoroughly mad now , and his dis tortions were really suggchtivo of nn at tack of appoploxy The old follow suddenly donly guvo it up and broke out without uny dilllulty : Dom yo drlvo on and yell git there afore I can toll yo " ' The reporter drove on IN W Patrick Votrtl Boston Transcript : The way which a worth citizen ol Irish birth votcU the straight democratic tiokot ut the state election last month has just been re lated to the listener by the mans om- ployor Patrick had been interested in the Australian Bystom , nnd when his employer met him in the afternoon ho asked him : Well , Patrick , have you voted ? " " 1 have , sir " Did you have any trouble with the Australian ballot ? " "Divll a throublo , sir ; I put a nont crofes forninst all the ropooblicin and praw'ibitionist names and voted a clano dimmcrcratic ticket ! " Didn't Mtrry Any Pliosnhnte The Gainesville ( Klu ) Advocate re lates this funny incident of the phos phate cnuo in that stuto : "A tall , - lank cracker entered a chemists ollico with a handkerchief full of rock , nnd said , in a husky but eager and excited whisper : Mister , bo you alone ? ' Yes , sir ' Can I look the door ? ' Yes , if you wish to ' After locking the door and scouig that no one was hiding any where , the cracker slowly undid his handkerchief and handed.somo rock to the chemist for his inspection , nnd asked , What do you think of that ? ' The chemist carefully examined it and said , 'I do not think much of it , ' nt the same time pouring some acid on it which caused it to cfTorvcseo like u double rQlinod soidlit powder Cracker What does that show ? Chemist That shows it is a first-class sample ot limo , with no bono phosphate about it Cracker Boss , you are sure about that stuff ? Cncmlst Yes , very sure Crack er ( with a long-drawn breath ) Well , I've married a widdor with a hill plumb full of that stuff , an' I thought it was phosphate Say , boss , I'm in for it ain't ' I ? Good-by. " * Unci Hnnil The widow hud just said no Puck : Lifo is u game , " said Mr Upson Downcs , rollectlvoly "I thought It was draw , and I drew for a qucon , but It seems to be ouchrcd for mo " "In that case - ' snid the lady , consol ingly , you will have to go it alone " Yes , nnd what's worse , " Bald Mr Downos , "I cant take my partners best card " "I always knew you were a horrid mercenary thing , " remarked the widow , as she cut out of the room und loft Mr Downes to shufile sadly on his lonesome way IEPlMlMlVi ' DUOPS Washington Star : Love nnd liquor make the world go round Texas Rlftings : It Is natural for a cattle king to try to impose tlio yoke Homo Sentinel : The way of the trans gressor is bard , yet good people tell us it is the easiest thing in the world to follow It Uinghampton Republican : Fogg argues that prohibition cant prohibit , because drulten men nrosuro tobo plentv-full every where Fllogondo Blatter : "llavo you scon Ib sen's now play I" "To toll the truth , 1 have not had the tlmo , I have been so busy writ ing my criticism upon It Tlmo : Tailor You promised mo faithfully yosteraay morning that you would call In und settle for that suit last night If it rained pltchforus Customer-Yos , I know , but It didn't rain pitchforks , Grand Rapids News : Young Mpdical Student - dent ( to his swecthoart ) : Do you know , Julia , that tno human heart is equal to the lifting of 120 pounds every 24 hours ! Julia ( demurely ) : Well , that's lust my weight Now York Weekly ! JUUsMeFllmsey ( who wants to get a pair of gloves for a male friend ) : Have you any gentlemen's gloves ! Now Olerk ( Rlaacing at her hand ) : No , miss ; out I think 1 can find a ladles slzo that will Ut you Terre Huuto Express : New Girl There's ono thing I dent ' like about the master IIo keeps culling mo my dear , Mrs Flngg O , you uiusn't mind that U'b ' only a habit of Lis Why , ho even addresses mo that way sometimes Now York Sun : "I am from Phlladol phla , " remarked Mr , Chosnut as ho took the pen to register at a Now York hotel All right , " replied tlio clerk ; Ill ' send n boy up to your room with you to show you how to turn off the gas " Terre Haute Express ! Minnie : I wonder who wes the young man in the fur-trimmed coat and a silk that we just passed ! Mamloi Oh , he Is a Chicago traveling man Then you know him , do youl" "Mo ! No But ' 'I have ! ' " didn't you hear him say saw Puck : "I thought you were going to marry Miss Goldtbwaite , Charley Haven't you bad some aspirations in that line ! " I had , but it was no go Her family were all op posed to it " Well , but If the girl bcrsolf " "I said all the family She was ouo of em " Llppinoott's Magaiine : nolllver What a peculiar book reviewer Kazzlo Isl Did you ever notice how confused , his Ideas seem to bo how rambling and incoherent ! Pom pous Yes , I've ' noticed It , ( Struck with an Idea ) Perhaps he reads the books bo re views Epoch ! The Itov Dr Primroso-I was ae- lighted to recolvo these castoff garments for the poor of my parish It shows that there is still some hope of your becoming a Chris tian Hrown Well , jou see the old clothes man ofTered mo only sic shillings for the lot and I would sooner have thrown them in the Are than be cheated llko ttut jmmmmmnrmmmmmmmmmmamawBmmtmmmmmmmmmmmnmmmmmmimm Special Closing Out Sale ! ; < < Fine Spectacles , Eye Glasses , Thermometers , and All Other i/L Optical Goods at Greatly Reduced Prices , * wixyAa sni.it , ron one winit : / SOLID COLD SI'jnrTACIr.S , $3. worth 8 * . VlNiST : GOM ) SPr.CTACIiKS , St nnd 85 ; sold cvcijwlicro from ( ! to gio KKST STIlIHi HiiVrACI.r.S : , Willi purest while crjHlul ! > , nsct , 7.1c , @ 1 und 81.50 ; worth double KisT scotch rniutxr siictacms : only sa.so ; worth $5. All llyo < < limc nt same reduction Eyes totted by our optician , nnd it perfect 111 Riinrantccd In every ease All vUiottal imperfections corrected Oculists prescription * tilled ut IowcnI possible price * . 1,000 TIIEimo.UETEIlK Trom " ceach up to tlio very IiIkIich ) prude Only u lew more dajs to buy JKWEEKY , DIAMONDS WATCHES uud SIM'EltWAKE nt your own prlie ' T m I MAX MEYER & BRO , I JEWELERS MP OPTICIANS • - COR 16TH AND FARNAM STS I SET OF TEETH ON RUBBER r4 * For Five Dollars 1 DR R. W. BAILEY , Dentist , v I Faxton Block , lGtli and Farnaui Streets 1 "Wo Al > TTp-PP + Qf riTr nnd having within the past two . P r > VV C Xl.lt ; XlCiC bU K3liCtty months largely Increased our office room , are now better preoared to turn out the best class or H work , and much more rapidly than heretofore Wo make a flill soft W ofteeth on rubber Tor FIVE DOLLARS , guaranteed to be as wol M made as plates sent out or any dental orrice In this country Do not | V let others Influence you not to come , but make us a call and see fop W > yourself f Teeth extracted WITHOUT PAIN , nnd without using chloroform tl gas , ether or electricity Filling at lowest rates Remember the lo M cation DR BAILEY , Dentist , Paxton Block Open evenings until 8 o'clock Take elevator on 16th street , ICth and Farnara B Cut tills out Mention thtspapjr B - WOODS I f V , , , -I , . ii irrn • bb K WE GARRY a COIiPLETE STOCK I WRITE FOR CATALOGUE AND PRICES H JAMES MORTON & SON , Agents > 4V Telephone437. 1511 Dodge St M Dewey & Stone , I Furniture Company 1 A magnificent display of everything visorul and ornamental in the H furniture makers art at reasonable prices EC A . KinSHSTETZ" , I ELEtriMCICAL 11XGINKER AXI > CONTKACTOK , S uf.fhisinting : Chicago ori'icn Brush Electric Company 1 Estimates ami plnns furnished Correspondence solicited • " B 832-833 N. Y. Life Building , - Omaha W ' . I. -TTlBpi A COMPLETE STOCK OP JT Ice Tools 1 HIMEBAUGH & TAYLOR , 1405 Dougias St I Send for catalogue V , , , ! l • ETCHINGS - > H M % 4r % 1 % B * dTEMBRSON , I ENGHAVIKGS , J J fk MM Ha " HALLKT Sc DAVIS 1 ARTIST SUPPLIES ! MM WM KTKIMBALL , 1 MOULDINGS , . > L BV _ . arPIANOS&ORGANS FRAMES , * l MM TSIIEET MUSIC 1513 Douglas Street , Omaha , Nebraska Exeelsior Springs , JIo Natures Qreat Sanitarium The Molt HIi'B nt , Ilotful nnd HcucDcIal of ilculth Jlesorts TUC CI MQ Ono of " 10 Fine Hotels of the I ML tLlllui World Ki'i > kto Willi every coin fort , plraiure nnd convenience ULopproncbablo In Its Bttr&ctlvem.a i furnlaliiiiga and culiluc Mil itary condition ! perfect All charges reasonable , TUC DJtTUO Within the hottl , imperii , coin INC DfllriOi plcto and of great medicinal virtue halt-Sulphur Water Tub , Turkish , Elec tric , Ma ace , Marble-riunKo. THE MINERAL WATERS JKSJftS for Jtbtumatlero , ( lout , Dropey , Klduoy , Illadder and Liver Troubles , liyapepsia , Wood Uleeaeci , Alcobollem , Debility and other derangements of the tystem The most aatouUhlnu and marveloua remits speedily follow tuclruee The waters pos teas properties and combinations unknown to any other known spring In the world They contain Iron In that inoit rare and valuable form for ready absorption and rapid medication ; namely , a solu tlouof the l'roloildo in Carbonic Acid Asasolr tnt and diuretic , they are supremely efficacious , and aa a tonic In upbuilding tno worn and debili tated system , they baio no equal A ealu of about ono pound a day usually follows their use They have restored thousands from the brink of death to | > erfect health Try them They will prolong your life Climate mild and healthful Surroundings beauti ful Twenty five miles from Kansas City ou the C , M.i St T. lllt T1IK ltOTTLUU WAT15U8 shipped on or der to all points , l'or full Information and Illustrated pamphlets , ddru , EXCELSIOR SI'KINUS CO , liicelslor bprlugy , ilo MAX GEISER/ Importer of and Dcnlorln All Kinds of Birfls , Fisb anflR are Animals , lilltl ) CAGES , FOUNTAIN A0.UA1Utf . y , IUJIH , SJU' .M.S , ETC T ' IMFOMBDBlE slifASPECIALTI k 417 S. 15th St /m / * OM AFA - - NEB DS . . SPENCER OTIS , "ESS * 1 Iteilisulcal Kunlneer and Drnrutnan , Couplets , B OrawluKB , W ulncallons and Hupor1nUndar.o. fi - * W * Klevators Ml I s. Fatterlcs , or iieclal .MachlncrE ' rag loss.and illuo IllntafurnlsheJ t PATENT OHICB WOllli A bTKClAI/rV , , L