Hesperian student / (Lincoln [Neb.]) 1872-1885, November 01, 1878, Page 475, Image 20
NO. 8. EDITOR'S table. 475 "The melancholy (lays have come, the saddest of the year;" the candidates are counted out and so is lager beer- Tlie proper time for a girl to marry is after she has counted up her cash and found that she can support herself in case her husband turns politician. There was nothing but a plain slab at the head of the mound, but the simple in scription upon it. tells its own sad story: " He was umpire in a close game." Jefferson said: " I would rather live in a-country with newspapers and without a govcrment, than in a country with a government but without newspapers." An honest Hibernian, who had blamed the clergy for taking a tenth part of the people's prosperity, exclaimed: "Ay, they would take a twentieth if they could!" An old lady from the south said she never could imagine where all the Smiths came from, until she saw in a New Eng land town, a large sign, " Smith's Manu facturing Company." A naturalist claims to have discovered that crows, when in Mocks, have regularly organized courts, in which they sit around and try offenders, a sort of crow-bar, so to speak. Boston Olobe. Love impresses its tender imago on all its environments. Even the scattered peanut shells at the front gate, Monday morning, are silent witnesses of its all embracing sway. Boston Transcript. "What would you say if you should see the Indians coining right down upon you now?" asks an Oregon paper. Haven't given the question much thought, but strikes us wo would say, " Excuse my back." Detroit Post. A man bet another ten dollars that he could tell him how much water to a quart went over the Palls of Niagara in a year. The bet was taken. " How much?" was the question. " Two pints to a quart,' replied the flrst, as lie pocketed the wa gov. Chicago Com. Advertiser. A Nebraska minister preached an hour and three quarters last Sunday, and by that time the pews were about emptied, and as the last worshiper collared his hat and slid out, the disgusted preacher asked the choir to sing "Nothing but leaves." At an early hour on the morning of the 12th Inst., at Lancaster, Pa., sixteen mask ed Freshmen and two sophs., of Franklin and Marshall college, entered the room of two well-known Sophmorcs and compell ed them to repeat the Greek alphabet backward and humbly beg pardon for past offences. The other day a visitor surprised Rich ard Grant "White saying to his baby: "On-ny, no-ny, c mussy tick hick his ittie footsy tootsies out fum undy zc hi an ley wanky oz e catch coly woly an' have ze snuffles." Just then he caught sight of the visitor, and said to the infant: " No, no, you must not expose your pedal cxtiemities by extending them beyond the protecting cover of the blanket, or you will lay your system open to attacks of catarrhal affections." And the aston ished child shrieked as though some one had winged it with a defective safty pin. (IHAMMATIOAIi TAUTOLOQY. I'll provo tho world that I've made my tlicmo In that Unit may bo doubled without any blnnio; And Unit that that, thus trebled, 1 may uso, Ami thnt Unit that that critics may abuse May bo correct. Further tho doiib to bother Flvo thatx may closely follow ono another! For It la Bhown that wo may safely write Or say Unit that that that that man writ was right ; Nay o'on that that that that that that followed Thro' six ropoats, the grammer ruloliashallow'd; And that that that (that that that that began), Repeated seven times in right! Deny if you can. Jitchard Grant White. EDUCATIONAL NOTES. The Oberlin billiard hall has been clos ed. Dartmouth has just celebrated its 117th anuiversary.