8
THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
The number of new students that have
come in this term is very encouraging.
Nearly all of the student have returned
and the places of the missing arc tilled by
strangers.
The "Beautiful Snow" still lingers,
cry somo of the boys who have returned to
school with their pockets full of "stamps."
How is it about the students who re
mained in Lincoln, did they take dinner
on Christmas day, or something else?
Legislature, theatres, etc., which open
out with the commencement of this term, j
are not the best things in the world to in
sure good lessons.
We heard that one of the Junior class
nearly caused the ruin of a barber in the
city a few days ago. Cause: the student
needed so much dye-stuff' for his luxuriant
moustache.
Owing to the extreme inclemency of
the weather, neither of the literary socie
ties hold any meetings the first Friday
night of the term. The thermometer indi
catcd 30 degrees below zero that night.
As we propose to pay the postage on
the Student, we deem it nothing more
than right that the students should be
prompt in paying in advance, and soliciting
their friends to subscribe for our paper.
A number of the young ladies showed
a good deal more pluck than quite a num
ber of the gentlemen students, in coming
to chapel on the morning of the Stli, when
it was 18 degree below zero and blowing
furiously.
The absence of some of the students
at chapel may be attributed to the fact that
1 M.
2. The oillcers shall consist of a Presi
dent, Vice President, Secretary and
Treasurer.
3. The oillcers shall bo elected the last
of every school term, and shall hold their
olliccs for one term.
4- Ten members shall constitute a quo.
rum.
o. All persons belonging to the club
shall be numbered.
0. Persons shall perform on the hori.
zontal bar according to their number.
T. .Members shall be held responsible
for damage done by marking on the wall.
8. Those who join classes in the gymna
him are expected to be regular and
prompt in attendance.
0. Persons not members of the Univer
sity are not allowed to use the apparatus
unless they have the permission of the
person in charge of the gymnasium.
10, Two persons arc not allowed to be
on the horizontal bar a, the same time.
11, There shall be no unnecessary scuf
fling or noise in the room.
13. No one is allowed to use others'
private apparatus unless by permission
of the owner.
13. No one is allowed to exercise on the
horizontal bar unless he has on slippers.
14. Any injury done to the apparatus.
when not conforming to the rules of the
gymnasium, must be paid for by the of
fender or offender:..
15. 2s o person or persons are allowed
to use tobacco in the gymnasium.
10. Each member of the club, and be
ginning with the last number first, shall
have charge of the gymnasium for one
THE SCISSORS AND PEN AT WORK
AMONG OUR EXCHANGES.
the Legislature is in session, or with prob- day and be responsible for good oidcr,
ably more correctness, that the Kendall I unless he is excused by the President for
Comedy Company are phtylmr a two weeks' i?ome reasonable cause
engagement in the city.
A number of the students participated
in a New Year's Ball at the residence of C
0. Moore, at Yankee Hill. And all enjoyed
themselves, a number of the students
who were not there would be much pleased
if the social vcn repeated.
Wc heard of a Soph who was beaten
out of live cigars by a student in the select
ed course, at a game of "draw poker."
The "regulars" should not allow this to
occur again. "We are told that this partic
ular Soph will not let it happen again, but
then ho had a good hand, as he thought.
"With our January number the sub
scriptions of a numhor of students
run out, and we hope that they will soon
pay up again as we desire to keep every
one on our books, and especially so sinco
it will cost us more to publish it in the
future. Remember tho price is only one
dollar per annum, and wo pay tho post
ago. Sl'ENE UKTWE1.X A COIT1.K OF OLD
students. W sttiilrnt, (wlio has not been
"""''1'ii.hi.j i m,.in mux iij m-w i
girls in chapel this term" 2d Student,
(who has been to chapel,) "Well, yes."
Ut .sttnhut, KAciicdlv,) "How many Are
they pretty? Do you know any of them,
imd if ho, wlmv" id Studuit, (going oil"
with -uch a knowing look on bib face,)
"Well, there- are lots of them, and I just
think I know one or two, but I guess 3-011
won't very soon."
Itules of the Students' Gymna
sium Clulj.
1. O11 Mondays, Tuosdays, Wednesdays,
Thursdays and Fridays, the gymnasium
will be open from 3 to 5 o'clock r. m., and
on Saturdays from 9 o'clock a.m., to 4
There aie fl'J ladies among the 1170 stu.
dents at Ann Arbor.
No one is apt to steal locals from tho
l'kblic ScJtool liocord, because it never has
any.
Pnop, What is amber?
Sex, A kind of semi-apparent wood.
Courier.
Injun probabilities: "Mebbo snow
next weok, mobbo rain, mebbe some damn
hot, "Crescent.
" The vilest sinner may return," wrote
a pious Methodist girl to her lover, with
whom she had parted in anger. ir,
Columbia College boasts that she has
turned out oleven bishops. Pretty good
lor 0110 school, lot us hoar from the OwL
Ono of our " Juniors in Chemistry"
snj'S that shoo loathor, chemically con
sidered, is tho ox-hido of boof. Aroli
angel. Fnov. ix German, Conjugate mogon.
Student, Ich nuigoe, du mugoo
Pnoiv That's enough, Muggin. Le
high Journal.
It was a Froshman who sought anxious
ly through the classical dictionary for a
good account of Charles Dickons' life.
Lawrence Collegian.
One of our Freshman sa, s tho battle of
Philippi was so callul bocnuse Philippi
was killed there. That Fresh was
flunked. Aotra Columbia,
Editing a papor is like carrying an urn.
brolla on a windy da-. Everybody thinks
he could manage it hotter than tho one
who has hold of the handle. E.v.
The difference between a Greek student
and a hog. One grubs Tor roots the
other roots for grubs. Dennmm Collegian
" When I put my foot down, I'll havo
you to understand," says a Freshman,
"that there's something there." On inves
tigation, It was found to bo a No. It shoe
Exchange.
What historical grounds have we for
for saying that Cleopatra had no pocket
to put her handkerchief in ? Sufficient,
in that she put her viper into her bosom.
Magenta.
Recently one of tho students was found
under a tree, asleep to hor very linger tips.
Upon drawing near her, we discovered
that she had been reading the llarcanl
Advocate. Vas.ar Miscellany.
'Westward tho course of Empire takes Us way."
Wo have a tirm belief that the
best college training in tbu world Is given
on the Atlantic, and the best common
school teaching done on the Pacific coast
of the United States of North America.
Xotional Toucher's Monthly.
The following advertisement appeared
in the PaeJttr Quarterly, and we hope
they have their want supplied.
"Wanted. A pure Maltese kitten,
double-pawed preferred. Address, stat
mg terms, E. 1). P., editor's ch.ur, cdito-
rial sanctum, raeker Institute Brooklyn.
The Xiagara Fnder supposes that the
Georgetown College Journal has been
tainted with an odor that may have
been wafted from Boss Shoppard's do
main; both are religious journals, and
yet, the former in speaking of their new
play-hall say it is "Damp fine"
The Sophomores wore given " Delu
sion '.' as a subject for essays, lately, and
one of them took into the class and bold
ly read some choice extracts from the
Sunday Titms, prefacing with the words:
"The delusion which I shall speak of par
ticularly is Bunko!". Volant.
A failure in recitation is called a
"slump" at Harvard, a " smash" at Wes
leyan, n "stump" at Princeton, and u
"flunk" at Hamilton. A perfect recita
union receives the title of " take " at Wil
liams, "sail" at Bowdoin, "squirt" at
Harvard, " tear" at Princeton, "blood " at
Hamil ton. College Jfixcellany.
Trigonometry class: Piiok, Well, sir,
have you written out those formulas?
PuriL, No, sir, couldn't you sec I have
a soro foot, and tho tangent thereof, divid
ed by the cosine of the angle of my digi
tal computators, lott a negative quantity,
which this blank sheet shows. Could n't
write; stands to roason I couldn't!" A7
agara Index.
Soimi, (to theatrical chum), I say,
George, here's a chance for you to immor
talize yourself at " Boston."
Chum, How sot
Soru, Why they're going to bring out
the Prodigal Son," and they want some
body to take the part of the fatted calf.
llamtrd Advocate.
Pitoi', What is phosphate ?
Student, Don't know.
mop, What's tho matter? Havo you
ueen sleeping since yesterday?
Student, Yes Sir.
Prof, owing to his admiration for the
truth, could not say anything; was
amazed. Irring Union.
A Junior, in sending home an itemized
account of expenses to paterfamilias, had
inserted among oilier things, "Ponies
$10.00;" to which the old gent responds'
'1 hardly think you needed a pony, hut
seeing they arc so cheap, you might bring
homo a span, as thoy would be mighty
hnndy to do chores 'ti."lrtn'rtritu
Jicporfer.
All our oulcolnir exchanges will lint
after bo stamped according to tho nevv'
uiw, nuu, as a inaucr 01 course, wo will
expect the ones wo receive to ho prepaid.
The abovo is clipped from a state ex
change and for fear that they are very
much worried over the matter, we give
them the information we rccehed at a
post otllcc a few days ago. The clerks say
that newspapers could not go through the
mall unless the postage was prepaid.
It is estimated that 1,000,000,000 bricks
have been consumed In the sidewalks in
this town. There are consequently none
left for the Inhabitants to get in their hatt
ami hence the proverbial steadiness ol
the students. Targinn.
Drunken men always think that they
arc the most sober men in town, and that
may be the case at Rutgers, and yet the
Targum seems to think differently.
Two Freshmen played a scurvy joke on
their German renter. Imposing on the
old man's Inabiliiy to read, they had him
sign the following;
''Iowa City, Oct. 1, 1874
Received of Mr. , $0.00, payment in
full for rent of two rooms for two months;
and In addition do hereby acknowledge
myself an old skrozick, and deserving of
having been booted at least twice during
aforesaid time. Hans "'
A Junior in Oberliu College asked ex
citcdly, the other day, " If a man should
go to Italy and be born there, would lie
be a better musician"!" College Argut.
We think ho would, sure's he's born
Chronicle. We should rather think how
it could. .Undixonenfin. Wc think it
docs. Trinity TahUt. His second child
hood would undoubtedly make him more
proficient in the rendition ot nursery
melodies. Targum. If he was boin
again, he might turn out a prima donna.
We have two clippings from the High
ScJiOvl, and presume that because they
have no elephant thai there is no need lor
them to study nights.
"The elephant of the Hesukriax Stu
dent addresses our exchange, 'The High
Seool. ' He ought to btudy nights. '
Docs not the writer of the above quota
tion evince a romarkable familiarity
with grammar!
Through a typographical error, a word
was mis-spelled in our last issue, ami in
consequence wc have been denounced as
an ignoramus by something less tliau sev
en hundred of those sharp critics who
may be found anywhere from the second
grade up to the High School. -tyft
School.
" I take what I think is the nKbT au
thority, Worcester's Large Dictionary '
Hon. Gharlu Sumver.
VROM WASHINGTON.
Gentlmicn: Tho report having been
made that Webster's English Dictionary
Is adopted as the stniulnrri liv national
ofllcors, to tho exclusion uf Worcester's I
take occasion to miv ilmi u Cur .. iim T.i.
hrary of Congress is concerned, Webster
hat, neve been followed in orthography m
printing its catalogues, reports, or any
other documents. On the contrary. what
over proofs from tho Congressional Print
ing Office embody the innovations upon
English orthography as established by the
usage of all great writers, which Webster
introduced, they are invariably returned
with correction! restoring the established
spelling. Very respectfully,
A. R. SPOFFORD, Lib. of Congress.
