8 THE HESPERIAN STUDENT. The number of new students that have come in this term is very encouraging. Nearly all of the student have returned and the places of the missing arc tilled by strangers. The "Beautiful Snow" still lingers, cry somo of the boys who have returned to school with their pockets full of "stamps." How is it about the students who re mained in Lincoln, did they take dinner on Christmas day, or something else? Legislature, theatres, etc., which open out with the commencement of this term, j are not the best things in the world to in sure good lessons. We heard that one of the Junior class nearly caused the ruin of a barber in the city a few days ago. Cause: the student needed so much dye-stuff' for his luxuriant moustache. Owing to the extreme inclemency of the weather, neither of the literary socie ties hold any meetings the first Friday night of the term. The thermometer indi catcd 30 degrees below zero that night. As we propose to pay the postage on the Student, we deem it nothing more than right that the students should be prompt in paying in advance, and soliciting their friends to subscribe for our paper. A number of the young ladies showed a good deal more pluck than quite a num ber of the gentlemen students, in coming to chapel on the morning of the Stli, when it was 18 degree below zero and blowing furiously. The absence of some of the students at chapel may be attributed to the fact that 1 M. 2. The oillcers shall consist of a Presi dent, Vice President, Secretary and Treasurer. 3. The oillcers shall bo elected the last of every school term, and shall hold their olliccs for one term. 4- Ten members shall constitute a quo. rum. o. All persons belonging to the club shall be numbered. 0. Persons shall perform on the hori. zontal bar according to their number. T. .Members shall be held responsible for damage done by marking on the wall. 8. Those who join classes in the gymna him are expected to be regular and prompt in attendance. 0. Persons not members of the Univer sity are not allowed to use the apparatus unless they have the permission of the person in charge of the gymnasium. 10, Two persons arc not allowed to be on the horizontal bar a, the same time. 11, There shall be no unnecessary scuf fling or noise in the room. 13. No one is allowed to use others' private apparatus unless by permission of the owner. 13. No one is allowed to exercise on the horizontal bar unless he has on slippers. 14. Any injury done to the apparatus. when not conforming to the rules of the gymnasium, must be paid for by the of fender or offender:.. 15. 2s o person or persons are allowed to use tobacco in the gymnasium. 10. Each member of the club, and be ginning with the last number first, shall have charge of the gymnasium for one THE SCISSORS AND PEN AT WORK AMONG OUR EXCHANGES. the Legislature is in session, or with prob- day and be responsible for good oidcr, ably more correctness, that the Kendall I unless he is excused by the President for Comedy Company are phtylmr a two weeks' i?ome reasonable cause engagement in the city. A number of the students participated in a New Year's Ball at the residence of C 0. Moore, at Yankee Hill. And all enjoyed themselves, a number of the students who were not there would be much pleased if the social vcn repeated. Wc heard of a Soph who was beaten out of live cigars by a student in the select ed course, at a game of "draw poker." The "regulars" should not allow this to occur again. "We are told that this partic ular Soph will not let it happen again, but then ho had a good hand, as he thought. "With our January number the sub scriptions of a numhor of students run out, and we hope that they will soon pay up again as we desire to keep every one on our books, and especially so sinco it will cost us more to publish it in the future. Remember tho price is only one dollar per annum, and wo pay tho post ago. Sl'ENE UKTWE1.X A COIT1.K OF OLD students. W sttiilrnt, (wlio has not been """''1'ii.hi.j i m,.in mux iij m-w i girls in chapel this term" 2d Student, (who has been to chapel,) "Well, yes." Ut .sttnhut, KAciicdlv,) "How many Are they pretty? Do you know any of them, imd if ho, wlmv" id Studuit, (going oil" with -uch a knowing look on bib face,) "Well, there- are lots of them, and I just think I know one or two, but I guess 3-011 won't very soon." Itules of the Students' Gymna sium Clulj. 1. O11 Mondays, Tuosdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, the gymnasium will be open from 3 to 5 o'clock r. m., and on Saturdays from 9 o'clock a.m., to 4 There aie fl'J ladies among the 1170 stu. dents at Ann Arbor. No one is apt to steal locals from tho l'kblic ScJtool liocord, because it never has any. Pnop, What is amber? Sex, A kind of semi-apparent wood. Courier. Injun probabilities: "Mebbo snow next weok, mobbo rain, mebbe some damn hot, "Crescent. " The vilest sinner may return," wrote a pious Methodist girl to her lover, with whom she had parted in anger. ir, Columbia College boasts that she has turned out oleven bishops. Pretty good lor 0110 school, lot us hoar from the OwL Ono of our " Juniors in Chemistry" snj'S that shoo loathor, chemically con sidered, is tho ox-hido of boof. Aroli angel. Fnov. ix German, Conjugate mogon. Student, Ich nuigoe, du mugoo Pnoiv That's enough, Muggin. Le high Journal. It was a Froshman who sought anxious ly through the classical dictionary for a good account of Charles Dickons' life. Lawrence Collegian. One of our Freshman sa, s tho battle of Philippi was so callul bocnuse Philippi was killed there. That Fresh was flunked. Aotra Columbia, Editing a papor is like carrying an urn. brolla on a windy da-. Everybody thinks he could manage it hotter than tho one who has hold of the handle. E.v. The difference between a Greek student and a hog. One grubs Tor roots the other roots for grubs. Dennmm Collegian " When I put my foot down, I'll havo you to understand," says a Freshman, "that there's something there." On inves tigation, It was found to bo a No. It shoe Exchange. What historical grounds have we for for saying that Cleopatra had no pocket to put her handkerchief in ? Sufficient, in that she put her viper into her bosom. Magenta. Recently one of tho students was found under a tree, asleep to hor very linger tips. Upon drawing near her, we discovered that she had been reading the llarcanl Advocate. Vas.ar Miscellany. 'Westward tho course of Empire takes Us way." Wo have a tirm belief that the best college training in tbu world Is given on the Atlantic, and the best common school teaching done on the Pacific coast of the United States of North America. Xotional Toucher's Monthly. The following advertisement appeared in the PaeJttr Quarterly, and we hope they have their want supplied. "Wanted. A pure Maltese kitten, double-pawed preferred. Address, stat mg terms, E. 1). P., editor's ch.ur, cdito- rial sanctum, raeker Institute Brooklyn. The Xiagara Fnder supposes that the Georgetown College Journal has been tainted with an odor that may have been wafted from Boss Shoppard's do main; both are religious journals, and yet, the former in speaking of their new play-hall say it is "Damp fine" The Sophomores wore given " Delu sion '.' as a subject for essays, lately, and one of them took into the class and bold ly read some choice extracts from the Sunday Titms, prefacing with the words: "The delusion which I shall speak of par ticularly is Bunko!". Volant. A failure in recitation is called a "slump" at Harvard, a " smash" at Wes leyan, n "stump" at Princeton, and u "flunk" at Hamilton. A perfect recita union receives the title of " take " at Wil liams, "sail" at Bowdoin, "squirt" at Harvard, " tear" at Princeton, "blood " at Hamil ton. College Jfixcellany. Trigonometry class: Piiok, Well, sir, have you written out those formulas? PuriL, No, sir, couldn't you sec I have a soro foot, and tho tangent thereof, divid ed by the cosine of the angle of my digi tal computators, lott a negative quantity, which this blank sheet shows. Could n't write; stands to roason I couldn't!" A7 agara Index. Soimi, (to theatrical chum), I say, George, here's a chance for you to immor talize yourself at " Boston." Chum, How sot Soru, Why they're going to bring out the Prodigal Son," and they want some body to take the part of the fatted calf. llamtrd Advocate. Pitoi', What is phosphate ? Student, Don't know. mop, What's tho matter? Havo you ueen sleeping since yesterday? Student, Yes Sir. Prof, owing to his admiration for the truth, could not say anything; was amazed. Irring Union. A Junior, in sending home an itemized account of expenses to paterfamilias, had inserted among oilier things, "Ponies $10.00;" to which the old gent responds' '1 hardly think you needed a pony, hut seeing they arc so cheap, you might bring homo a span, as thoy would be mighty hnndy to do chores 'ti."lrtn'rtritu Jicporfer. All our oulcolnir exchanges will lint after bo stamped according to tho nevv' uiw, nuu, as a inaucr 01 course, wo will expect the ones wo receive to ho prepaid. The abovo is clipped from a state ex change and for fear that they are very much worried over the matter, we give them the information we rccehed at a post otllcc a few days ago. The clerks say that newspapers could not go through the mall unless the postage was prepaid. It is estimated that 1,000,000,000 bricks have been consumed In the sidewalks in this town. There are consequently none left for the Inhabitants to get in their hatt ami hence the proverbial steadiness ol the students. Targinn. Drunken men always think that they arc the most sober men in town, and that may be the case at Rutgers, and yet the Targum seems to think differently. Two Freshmen played a scurvy joke on their German renter. Imposing on the old man's Inabiliiy to read, they had him sign the following; ''Iowa City, Oct. 1, 1874 Received of Mr. , $0.00, payment in full for rent of two rooms for two months; and In addition do hereby acknowledge myself an old skrozick, and deserving of having been booted at least twice during aforesaid time. Hans "' A Junior in Oberliu College asked ex citcdly, the other day, " If a man should go to Italy and be born there, would lie be a better musician"!" College Argut. We think ho would, sure's he's born Chronicle. We should rather think how it could. .Undixonenfin. Wc think it docs. Trinity TahUt. His second child hood would undoubtedly make him more proficient in the rendition ot nursery melodies. Targum. If he was boin again, he might turn out a prima donna. We have two clippings from the High ScJiOvl, and presume that because they have no elephant thai there is no need lor them to study nights. "The elephant of the Hesukriax Stu dent addresses our exchange, 'The High Seool. ' He ought to btudy nights. ' Docs not the writer of the above quota tion evince a romarkable familiarity with grammar! Through a typographical error, a word was mis-spelled in our last issue, ami in consequence wc have been denounced as an ignoramus by something less tliau sev en hundred of those sharp critics who may be found anywhere from the second grade up to the High School. -tyft School. " I take what I think is the nKbT au thority, Worcester's Large Dictionary ' Hon. Gharlu Sumver. VROM WASHINGTON. Gentlmicn: Tho report having been made that Webster's English Dictionary Is adopted as the stniulnrri liv national ofllcors, to tho exclusion uf Worcester's I take occasion to miv ilmi u Cur .. iim T.i. hrary of Congress is concerned, Webster hat, neve been followed in orthography m printing its catalogues, reports, or any other documents. On the contrary. what over proofs from tho Congressional Print ing Office embody the innovations upon English orthography as established by the usage of all great writers, which Webster introduced, they are invariably returned with correction! restoring the established spelling. Very respectfully, A. R. SPOFFORD, Lib. of Congress.