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THE HESPERIAN STUDENT.
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OUR COLLEGE NEWS.
Ouu juniors arc seldom visible.
Summeu and base ball have returned.
Tiik University roof isreceividg a coat
or tar.
"What young gentleman called at num
ber 32 ?
Tub election is ovor but the crusade
still rages.
Aunica is in demand the season for
base ball has arrived.
Chemical students arc amusing them
selves in the laboratory.
The literary societies start out this
term with commendable zeal.
Scauce If we arc to blievc the Sen.
iors, subjects for orations are scarce.
Mr. McLean has commenced the Sum.
mer's campaign look out for llower beds.
Head the conundrum propounded at
tin- close of the article entitled "What "We
Want.
We publish this month a very compll
inentary letter from a former editor of the
Student.
The press work of our paper is done
by the Journal Company in a manner
hard to beat.
A number of the boys amuse themselves
by kicking at a foot ball and bruising
each other's shins.
Some of the students have phrenology
on the brain. They wish to discuss it in
preference to anything else.
Fou morality and general good behav
iour a better class of students than those
attending this Institution can not be
found.
W. L. Sweet having resigned his posi
tion as local of the Student, Mr. Show
a'ter will take his place, by vote of the
Association.
Court has been in session during the
past two weeks, and many of the students
spent their leisure time listening to the
legal lights of the place.
Furi). Buiins knows how to place such
a gloss on shirts that they can be used for
mirrors. Boys, if you desire to look like
gentlemen let Burns cleanse your linen.
The quiet which usually pervades the
University, is now frequently broken by
the shrill tones of Prof. Aughoy's panot,
to the no small amusement of the stu
dents. Seniors are considering the propriety
ol " laying out a crop" of whiskers and
donning plug hats for commencement,
but we think it will take the whole class
to raise a respectable beard.
Bad. Our editor-in-chief is a sober
young man, but passing through the door
the other day he came in contact with the
door casing and his nose looks vory bad.
It did'nt hurt the door casing any.
Some of our preps tried to beat the
High School Huso Ball nine at the close of
last term, but were sadly defeated. When
the University nine comes out these scrub
nines will have to stand from under.
Wk would suggest to thoso at the Stale
Normal School, who are " starving for
lio. iks, to pack their trunks and eomo to
the University. We have a library of ov.
or 1,000 choice volumes which, wo venture
to alllrm, contains the best selection of
books in the state. What it lacks in quan.
tity it makos up in quality. In it a stu
dent can And InformfUion on almost any
subject with whloli lf6hns to deal.
Sunday, April 12th, we had the pleas
ure of listening to a sermon by the Bev.
Mr. Webster of the Unitarian denomina
tion. He is a very line speaker, and the
University students present appreciated
the effort.
0. W. Weiisteu's advert lament reads,
"special inducements to students, nnd
other paupers." That of course was a
mistake; but we took him at his word,
presented ourself as one of the "other
paupers," and got an excellent pair of
boots very cheap, as per agreement.
Soph : Professor, in the phrase houlcs
thai niton ajUcstlati, (to desire to take food)
is not sitoit a genitive of want?
Phof. No. How do you make that
out ?
Soph. Why, one wouldn't take it,
would he, unless he wanted it? (Class
smiles audibly.)
One of the students has left at this of
fice an amateur printing press with chases,
type and other necessary fixtures, which
is offered for sale at the low price of $15.
This is a bargain for anyone desiring to
learn the art of printing without serving
an apprenticeship. For full particulars
call at the sanctum.
The Student is not paying expenses.
If you wish to see it published, students,
exert yourselves for subscriptions and ad
vertisements. The funds with which ma
terial for the enlarged form was procured,
were advanced by three or four students
avIio were deeply interested in the success
of the University, and unless you assist to
support your paper and the BegGnts make
an appropriation, its publication will of
necessity be discontinued.
The Association is under obligations to
the Chancellor for providing the Student
oflice with another imposing stone. This
is an article that has been needed for some
time to facilitate the make-up of our pa
per. The stone was prepared by John
C'urrie, who can furnish you with marble
mantel pieces, table tops or a monument
to mark your last resting place, in a style
rarely equaled. When the Student
" shufllcs off this mortal coil," we will
have its epitaph engraved on this stone to
"tell to all the world around" how a col
lege journal died for want of support.
Wei.co.mk Back. C. C Brace, who
left us last fall to attend a course of loot
ures at the Chicago medical college, has
returned and will "fling his shingle to the
bree.e in one of Nebraska's young and
thriving towns. We can assure him that
there will be breeze enough in Nebraska
to keep lite shingle waving.
Since the above was in type, we learn
that he has located at Bennett. If you
should happen to bo in the vicinity of
Bennett, and should happon to bo taken
sick, call on Dr. Brace; if he kills you,
we'll treat the next time Ave see you.
Suspicious. Two Freshes of the gen
us boarduniSilves, were expecting to
make themselves comfortable lately on a
dinner of boiled chickens, which they had
procured from some source. A friend who
happened to call about this time was
shocked, and his mind was filled with sur
mises by the following episode: Enter
gushing Miss of five summers.
Smiling Fresh opens door and invites
her in. Miss, twisting bonnet strings, and
glancing toward the savory pottage ; Moth-
or says, "have you soon anything of -urlM.
tie lame chicken with a speckled lcc."
ha'n't vou ?
Fresh No!!!
Miss retires and Fresh swears slightly-
A well known divine in his prayer the
other Sunday, fervently returned thanks
for the great victory his parly had
acheived in the election for the city
school board. Our devil, who is some
what of a publican, takes exceptions to
tliis course of procedure, and says the
prayer should have been on this wise : " O
Lord, we have been victorious, but Thou
knowest how unworthy. P'r'apsa con
siderable worse than those wev'o busted.
Help Thou our weakness for Heaven
knows we have need thereof, if the past
success of our city schools is any evi
dence of the same. Amen I
Imdustiiy. The Chancellor lectured
lliesludentsthe other lnoruingon neatness.
A certain Soph girl got very enthusiastic
over the matter. Happening to visit the
Adelphian Hall, a few hours afterward,
she noticed sundry marks of oleaginous
digits upon the door panel. In supreme
disgust she rushed for the Student oflice,
seized a basin of water and sonio soap,
tucked her delicate sleeves, and in des
perate energy applied the soap and water
with her lilly lingers to the obnoxious pan
nel. You may depend upon it that door
was cleaned. This peico of heroinoism
was the most sublime and pathetic specta
cle wo had ever witnessed. One of the
Sophs has since become enamored of this
fair; hu says no further recommendation
is needed by him.
PERSONAL.
Miss Maggie Lamb is teaching in the
High School.
a lonir absence, Miss Briscoe is
'n'
After
again with us.
C. M. Cropsey sailed for Chemnitz, Ger
many, on the 8th inst.
Miss L. Keeferis instructing the little
ones of the first ward.
George Washingto Akers lias gone to
Minniappolis, Minn.
J.J. Langdon is made happy by re
maining in Sarpy county.
G. M. Sturdevant, tired of teaching, has
come back to the University.
Milo Elliott will run a farm down in
Otoe county until the fall term.
M. I). Hyde has gone to Ml Vernon,
Ohio. The girls will sadly miss him.
"Sanunic Paine" otherwise E. P.
Holmes, will bo a granger until the fall
term.
Gantt will stay in Nebraska City and
give attention to tho interesting works of
Hlaekstone.
C. 0. Draco has returned, and though
but recently rcovored from a severe lit of
sickness, will soon bo at work again.
Will Hartley has returned from Illinois
where lie spoilt the winter. At heart he
is the same jovial follow, but because of
his Mowing board, wo scarcely recognized
linn.
The many friends, in Lincoln, of u,0
Misses Moll io and Cel la Furnas will bo
sorry to learn that they have removed to
Hrownvllle and will not attend tho Uni
versity this term.
.i3'A; JJm,',,lek' formerly a student of
the University, is now a "circuit rider"
somewhere in the Western part of the
State Harlan county, wo think. AVe re
member that Burdick took a circuit or a
shoot one ni.'ht east of tho University
In making this circuit, hodisplaved fully
as much zeal, perhaps, as it will bo pos
siblo tor him to show out West. Ho said
tho rascals wore aflor his money! but.
t hoy couldn't catch him. Wo wllftostiiV
that thoy couldn't catch him, and wo
doubt vory much whether the man was
living -it that time who could.
OTHER COLLEGES.
A law student who has been examining
dates, reports that Adam was tho first niaii
to receive a land grant, and also the lht
to receive a writ of ejectment. Ex.
A little girl recently promoted to tlt
high honor of sitting up till nine o'clock
remarked to a younger friend, "Are you
up yet? You should have been in the
arms of Moses long ago. Packer.
An Irish advertisinent: "If the gentle
man who keeps a shoe store with a red
head, will return the umbrella of the
young lady with the ivory handle, ho will
hear something to her advantage." Ex.
Any Prep who will bestow over a liun
drod dollars In presents on one young
miss before the first two months' aequain
tance, shows that there is plenty of rom
for cotton up in his loft. Lawrence Cul
ley inn.
If there was ever an illustration of en
thusiasin hopelessly mad, it is In the case
of the Tennosseean who has preserved in
alcohol an entomological specimen which
was caught on a bed that General Jack
son slept in.
Junior No. l(on the hen roost), "Siy, do
you think it exactly right to take these
ckickens ?" No. 2 : " Thnts a groat moral
question which we haven't time to argue
just now. Hand down another pullet."
JierMcyan.
A second-liana furniture dealer on
Michogan avenue, Detroit, hung out a
card one day, inscribed, "Buggy! For
Sale!" and inadvertently hung it upon a
second-hand bedstead on the sidewalk,
it attracted much attention. This fablo
teaches that punctuation should be (ought
in the public schools.
A good sell was perpetrated hero a few
weeks ago, and by which great numbers
wore deceived. Bills, to the elleet that
Henry Ward Beecher would lecture in
! Memorial Chapel, on "Modern Skepti
cism," were conspicously posted through
out the City, and scores wended their
way to tho Chapel to find the whole all'air
a student's .vWb.Tarjum.
The following linos, written no doubt
from experience, were recently sent by a
member of '72 to a Senior whoso condi
tion lie probably thought to bo precari
ous: Oli womtin, !n her hours of oiigo,
Uiicuriulii, coy, mid hunt to plunnu,
Hut noun to oil, f imllltir with bur fueu,
Wo Urst umltiru, thou pity, thun umbrnco."
Taryum.
A week or two ago a Prof, spoko to oik;
of his classes of the great amount of nu
triment there was in oat meal. The next
day B. met the Professor and said, "Mr.
, can you tell 1110 whore I can get
some of that oat meal? I must hac
some of it sure. I would give thno
prices for it, Mr. , but I won't give
ten prices." Tho Professor promised to
find out whoro the oat meal could be oh
talned. University Jft'iwouriun.
At one of tho clubs the death of CharK
Sumner was the topic of conversation. An
admirer of the deceased statesman had
dwelt quite patli3liclly upon his nobility
of heart and purpose, and closed with
quoting his last words: "Toll Eomcrson I
love him and revoro him." Tho silence
which siiocoodod was at (length broken by
one further down tho tnUo. "Emerson,"
said ho, " was that blood-thiiwy South
Carolinian who assaulted him, wasn't he?
Such a spirit of forgiveness is divino."
Ohrontclo.
