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About The Nebraskan. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1892-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 15, 1896)
Ilojio 8irlnjr Nlornnl, Hto. An old nmld at lonst seventy youri of ngo wttH lifll)u(l Into a chair In the ollloo of iv Now Yorlt nolleo justice Sho wiih very iiiuuh o.vullutl. Do I unilcrnlnntl you to way Mint ton think your nooluit wiih picked Iij i yoimir man wlio sat nlouifsldo of yoi ui'ii 'I'lilj-tl uvuniio our'.'" "Yes, I'm sum of lU llo Rqueoir.od no up In tho corner no Mint 1 uoithl nenmlv breathe, nnd liu kept tonllinu t nu, un.i Hinlllnif ut tuo, its If Ik know iih " "Why .ltd you permit, lilm todo tliuL liy did you not complain to tho con duolor"" linked tin justice. 'I- r -- "Out with It." "I thonifht perhaps ho wns ho wns" "Wns what?" "Mnlnp to propose to mu," Texas MftliiRs. Whom llio Old AliM Uonm In. "Uo you know, sir," inquired nn American tourist., 01 ins companion, while dolnp Ktitflnnd, "ounyou info, in uie the reason for thin fresh, healthful nppenranco of tho Kiifjlisli pcopkrf Their complexion Is fur superior tc ours, or our countrymen over tho her rhi pond.'. 'Well. I know what l'rof. Huxley biiyR. " "And whut renson doeshondvnnceV" "Well, Huxley says it Is nil owintf tc tho old maids." "Owing' to old mnids! You surprise me," "FpoU Huxley figures it out in this way: Now, you know tho English nrc very fond of roust bcof." "Hut what has that to do with old maids?" "(io slow This genuine Kngllsh beef Is the best nnd most nutritious beef In the world, and it imparts a beautiful complexion." "Well, about the old maids?" "Yes, you see the excellence of this hnglish beef is duo exclusively to red clover. Do you see tho point?" "All but tho old maids. They are still hovering in the .shadows." "Why, don't yon see? This red clover) is enriched, sweetened and fructified by bumble bees." "Hut where do tho old maids conic in?" said the inquisitive American, wiping his brow wearily. " hy it is as plain as tho nose on your face, Tho enemy of tho bumble bee is the field mouse." ' Hut what have roast beef, red clover, bumble bees and Held mice got to do with old mnids?" "Why, you must be very obtuse. Don't you perceive that tho bumble bees would soon become exterminated by the Held mice if it were not for" Old maids?" No. if it were not for eats, null tho old maids f old England keep tho countrv thoroughly stocked up with cat,, and so wo ean directly trace tho effect of the rosy English complexions to tlu benign cause of English old maids, at least, that's whnt Huxley sas about it, and that's just whore the old maids comoin. Science makes clear many mysterious things, and don't you forget it." Have you seen the now model No. 2 Smith Premier typewriter? If not call In at 13T. South Elovonth street and examine it. C. "W. Kokorman agent. lie Knew IIM IIurIiii'm. "Ynu nri- tho man!" he said, as ho loanM forward In the street car nnd point.-d ills dnioT to the complacent and e K-s.itlM.fd lokiiiK passenger oppo-Pit- ""U are the man who prediotod las o. tuber that we would havo a mild wint. r' " I did." renlted the mnn. we had a terrible winter In .sifter poot will havo Ills Idyl The busiest moment i A nhort method of manmirlng timber Is by tmw-liurnrlthniH, TIioiikIi ii man may not Uko littHlnem. he xliiuild he btiRlnessllke. It li nn wonder college nion Ihvihuo fust. Thoy Indulgo In a rush so nHi n. KIhIi, n a rule, drink water, hut u Jhnrk dnean't object to n nip oppimhui ally. It Is n sad fate for tho Holf-nuide mnn to bo tied for life to tho tullor-mnde lrl. The angler Urst Hph In wait for his en tell nnd then Ilea In weight of lilt Jut eh. The time Is hero when the family mnn who does not know how to bent onrpei will have an opportunity to Ion ru. The bubble of nn Infnnt may be the langtiRjre of tho angels, but without an Interpreter It sounds like tho slbilnnt sob of n mush kettle. The loafer naturally Kots the credit of being on amiable person, lie has lime to listen to everybody's ptory nnd la never In u hurry. A lintel-keeper In Florida olTers a re ward of $R for the best treatise on "How to Mnke Outdoor Life Attrnctlvo to tho Miisnultn." "Theae are hard times," sighed the young collector of bills; "every placo 1 went today I was requested to call nKitlu. but one, nnd that was when I dropped In to see my lrl." A well-known lawyer declared one day at a dinner that the biggest thing lie had ever done was to cross-examine a man until he did not know whether lie wns married or not. If people could only "benr one an other's burdens," ns the scripture com- mnnds. the world would be hnpplor. Other people's burdens nro always so inucii lighter Hum our own. i he inrnier," says an exchange, "Is the most Independent man on earth." lust so. See how he works all summer nvd steps Into a bank in tho fall and p-is the Interest on tho mortgage. .is SIfttugs. Francis brothers, proprietors of tho Capital Cafe, havo purohascd a new coffee urn and are now prepared to dispense a delicious cup at any time of night or eay. If you got up too late for broakfast Sunday morning, come down to Francis Bros.' restaurant, 127 no. 11th and get a plate of cukes nnd coffe. Special of fer to students for ten days. X $1.10 ticket for SO cents. DR S. E COOK EYE EAR, NOSE and throat. OIHco rooms, 43 nnd 41 Burr Bile. Hours, 0-1J, 2-o. The Lincoln news agency, headquar ters for news, magazines nnd novels. Harper's Century, Munsey's, Scrlbner's, Cosmopolltnn and othor periodicals nl tvays In stock. N. E. comer Eleventh and O streets, Itichnrd block, J. E. Pearson, manager. Don Cameron's lunoh South Eleventh strcot. countor, IIS Bt' you are no prophet." -why did you make Yes. Put y.-s "And "N..." "Then why, slr-aur-h a prediction? " s a matter of business. I am In the coal trade, nnd It was my duty to keep people from running off to Florldn to esrape a hard winter!" "Put. sir, but" "Oh! we shall have a long, hot sum mer, and if you want fly-screens please call around! I am going Into that line tor the season!" Detroit Herald. Puillngton's personally com uctcd excursions io Utah nnd California. A Pullir.in tourist sleeping car will leave Lincoln every Thursday at 12:in .p. in. for Denvor, Salt Lake. Ogden, San Francisco nnd Los Angolos. Only Jf for a double berth Lincoln to Los An golos in one of these cars. Remember thora is no change of cars. For full In formation nnd tickots apply at llur llngton & Missouri depot or city ticket olllce, comer Tonth and O streets. G. W. Bonnell, C. P. & T. A. At 12U O street you will find Hay- I den's photograph gallery. We are ready to handle tho rush at the close of the college year. Examine some of our work. Nebraska Stoam Dye and Cleaning Works Genllomen's Suits and Overcoats LADIES1 DRUSS GOODS, SHAWLS, CLOAKS, ETC. Clemiwl. Dyed, nnd Piord to Kipinl New. l'nst Colon, Mlllinty Suits Spoclnl l'rlcoi, KcpnlrliiR n Sp clnlty, Promptly nail Neatly Uouo. liU N, 11 at. O. 11. OAl'llON, Prop. If you want a Suit MaiIo, go to G. K I ILK US, 13hc Popular bailor Kopulrlng Nootly Done. Ovor Wohlonborg's Clgnr Sloro 120 South 11th St. C. H. FREY. WIioIcmIo mill Kctnll STORE 1131 O ST. Telsphono S03. GREEN HOUSE Mth Throo Weeks South ot South St, Telcphono 672, '3HOXS ilVOID' iX3f!V SiAMVlO osjs Wl'vK lit v tin Piliu Indian julip juo puy 1IA no. iSAOa AVS Roy's Drug Store Cor. 10th and P Sts. FINE STATIONERY, STUDENTS' TABLETS, Fountain l'cn, base It.ill Goods, llammo.ki I'isiiliiK Tackle, lite. HliST IKUATMKNT. UlvST I'KICU. S. E.IIOY, Cox. 10th and F Sts. Nebraska Tent and Awning Go. 136-8 N. 11 St. Tent Tor Kent. The "Hotel Lincoln," f : n 1 Mrs. Blnkle (alarmed In the early morning by the furious barking of the dog In the backyard) Uutllan! brigand! be off. or III call the police' Mr. Blnkle (who has boon to a mas querade and got full) Don't be f-frald. Mrs. Blnkle. It's me. Played Turk at 'er (hie) Mas'erade, an' thought I'd take 'er Turk'sh bath! Ills IH-preMdnj; Thought. He had been silent In thought for some time. At length ho heaved a sigh, which moved his friend to inquire what the trouble was. "This world ain't run right," he an swered. "Why, you ought to be happy. You've been away enjoying yourself, I under stand." "Yes. I've beon away, but I don't see much enjoyment not in a world where the fish are so shy about bltln' an' tho mosquitoes so eternally wlllin'." Washington Star. wUMvwaai. .-w . . WEBSTER'S ; INTERNATIONA L i MtrX1'Zm.DICTlONAR Y S A Grand hducatKr, ' i Succctwproftlio i ' Unabridged." Standard nf tlie P. 8. io"t Print liiK Onice. tlict'.S. Suprt'iiu't'oiirt mul f marly nil tho ScliooluooliS. Warmly enjii-moiidc-d by oxcry Stato buj irliiten dent of ScIiooIb, and other lMnra- I S Jtorwr' t tors allllost lth- A Collrgo President irrltcs: "Tor 'case with vrhlch the ejo finds tho ' word souglit, for accuracy of dcfliil- "tlon, for effect ivo methods In lndl " eating pronunciation, for torso yet " comprehensive statements of fnctn, "and for practical use. us n. working "dictionary,' "Webster's International' " excels any other single volume." Tho Ono Great Standard Authority, Bo writes Hon. n. J. Ilrewir, Justice U. S. Supremo Court. G. & C. SmimiA.31 CO., Xtbltahcra, Sprlngtield, STasa., U.S.A. iWSenl to the pnblUliera for free pamphlef. jv ,v ww wv,F i:iitiiia vi uucieui euiuons. a LINCOLN, NEB. f; knuni'. .t;0 per day 11. II. I'lorco hnndlcs tho Dayton wheel, uloyolo HUndrlos anil repairs, 144 North 'I'hlrteonth strcot, llnltcr Mock, TIJp 1 HAS BEEN RE-OPENED BY rM-n t ' Francis Bros. UAfllAL CAFE I THE MOST CONVENIENT PLACE FOR STUDENTS OPEN ALL NIGHT. :j Oysters and ame in Season. 121 North Eleventh Street. SHORT ORDERS OUR SPECIALTY. -:- GIVE US A TRIAL. 3tcpcminc 9lcalftj Douc, 129 South 12th St, your pBjoto. 12 CABINETS ONLY $1.00 WORTH $3.00. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Call and see Samples. FREWlTTs 126 O St. TWO TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN -AND- Auburn, Falls City, Atchison, St. Joseph, and Kansas City. City Ticket Office, 1201 0 Street. H. C. TOWHSEHD, Oea'l P. & T. A. r. x. conxTELi,, o. p. & t. a W. O. Forues' rellaljle hack and car iiae lino. Telephone 31, 131 North Eleventh. Thi Cor. 14th & M T bait BathvS. f-s N Streets. LINCOLN, EBRASKA. OPFN AT Al I uniioi- ... . SULPHO-SALINE BATH HOUSE AND SANITARIUM cVWKM "EMr ,r,Ci (w,,h ",o,.,n, "M'n,,", ,o t,",1 nppU- o lllieumntlsni, Nurvoun Ulfflcultle. nn 1 1 manv oiw ii '""" ",,r'"'-r'-'- "" h-o water, (or Uio euro Plots In the world SKA J AT IHM Tli Ilntli Mongol tlio most cum- Water Swl.nmlnK Pool, tOxltO IodrS t?ft d..n,0,?5 V" Bea".,.n' ,n our lnre' mnimm ut Snlt iuujj, o io iv k aeej), lieated to a uniform tumperuture of 8U uegri