THE NEBRASKAN
in
s
A western editor has devised a scheme for
kreping subscriptions paid up, that is said to
be a startling success. Every time a delin
quent subscriber is mentioned in his paper,
his name is inverted. For example : "uqof
souof and wife are spending a lew days in
Chicago." Every other subscriber under
stands what it means, and there is a grand
rush to get right side up again. Ex.
Tins Nehraskan contemplates a scheme
of this character for next year. Delinquents
beware.
An expert mathematician has calculated
that the amount of energy spent in an aver
age foot ball game is suflicient to breakup
WHAT PROFS WILL DO.
WHAT SOMK OK THIS l'KOKS WILL 1)0.
Miss Conklin will bo in Chicago all sum
mer. Professor Lues will be in Europe all sum
mer. Miss Jo Treeman will spend a month at
the Fair.
Professor Bates will have his headquarters
for the summer at Burlington beach.
Professor Hitchcock will spend a week in
twenty acres of the heaviest soil known in Chicag0j am may g0 eftSl for lhe mmm0Vm
iuu country. zs.v.
Dartmouth has turned out forty college
presidents, two hundred college professors,
sixty members of congress and twenty-four
governors. Among her famous alumni are
Daniel Webster and Rulus Choate. Ex.
First Boy I don't like Caisar.
Second Boy Why?
First Boy Too much Gaul.
Ex.
Miss Jones, the librarian, will spend a
month at the Fair, and two weeks in Wis
consin. Mr. Max Westcrmann wilf be in Lincoln
all summer, with a two weeks' vacation out
in the Mountains.
Judge Dales, the genial steward, will be in
Lincoln all summer, and spend Sundays in
his cottage at Milford.
A Chinaman was invited by a fellow coun- Miss Wilder will divide her time about
try man to take a drink. He responded sadly : equally between sight-seeing at the Fair and
"Wish I could. I can't. Belong to the Band housekeeping in Lincoln,
of Hope. Can't drink, can't smoke, can't
rroiessor ancrman ana uimiiy win oe at
the World's Fair through June, and in Mass
achusetts for the rest of the summer.
swear ; wish I could ; I can't. Belong to the
Band of Hope." Wcllslcy Prelude.
In Iytttin and Creek
He wo 5 quick as a streak;
In dress he was foppish and tony;
The latter was due to his being an ass,
The former was due to his pony.
Harvard Lampoon.
FAST DYI5.
Professor Wolfe will spend two weeks in
Chicago the last of July. The rest of the
summer he will be in Lincoln, working.
Miss Trcmain will visit the Fair from the
There's one consolation," thought the last. of June . tiU thc middlc of Jul'' aftcr
wnicn sue win reiurn 10 i-incoin or j;o east.
bargain-hunter as she was blown to atoms by
a dynamite cartridge, "this is a fast die."
Hcrvard Lamfoon.
The Shirt I'm completely clone up every
few days.
The Peamut Poor fellow 1 But I'm con
tinually roasted. Pittsburg Bulletin.
Mr. and Mrs. Menzendorf go to the
World's Fair the ist of July, and will visit
there and at Bloomington, 111., for a month.
Miss Ellen Smith will be busy all summer
finishing the catalogue and copying records.
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