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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 9, 1999)
Skybox alcohol policy
easily worked around
What’s the big deal?
So what if the university is telling you
that you can’t bring alcohol into your high
It’s not like Bill Byrne is going to burst
into the U.S. Bank skybox and tell the
bank’s president to put the beer down.
Look at any red-faced, rowdy, stagger
ing UNL student at the game Saturday. Do'
you think he or she cares that alcohol is
banned in Memorial Stadium? No.
So we have a little secret for all those
people who paid >>_
millions of dollars ••
for a prime seat at Our dry
Don’t fuss and StCtdilUTl is jliSt
fight because the ,
university decided uuuul uo
not to let you drink laUghable as
a Budweiser with °
your bratwurst or OUr dry
have a rum and
Coke with your CCllYipUS.
pepperoni pizza. "
Just get creative.
UNL students have been doing it for
years. Decades. Longer than that.
Our dry stadium is just about as laugh
able as our dry campus.
So in the spirit of disregard for universi
ty policy, we have a few tips to make the
game a little more memorable (or not so
memorable, as the case may be) for the new
A flat bottle of rum fits nicely under
your shirt or in your back pocket. Mix that
with one of those pops served in a pricey
souvenir cup, and you are home free.
Once it gets cold, your coat can double as
a small beer-cooler. The bulkier the better.
Masking the can is the hard part. When
taking a sip from the can just stick it inside
the cuff of your coat and nonchalantly lift
the can to your mouth.
The skyboxes offer even more possibili
ties, so go ahead and use that refrigerator for
more than your hors d’oeuvres and Diet
but it you insist on following university
policy, maybe you should do your celebrat
ing downtown before kick-off.
Or you could just go to the game sober.
A lot of people do.
And we understand why the university
wants it that way - rowdy fans, vomit,
empty bottles. Would you want to clean that
But there will always be some students
who will never accept the policy, who will
So landing an official policy allowing
alcohol in the skyboxes is really not that big
of deal. Just nod your head, smile and calm
ly accept the rules.
That’s what we do.
Unsigned editorials are the opinions of
the Fall 1999 Daily Nebraskan. They do
not necessarily reflect the views of the
University of Nebraska-Lincoln, its
employees, its student body or the
University of Nebraska Board of Regents.
A column is solely the opinion of its author.
The Board of Regents serves as publisher
of the Daily Nebraskan; policy is set by
toe Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. The
UNL Publications Board, established by
the regents, supervises the production
of the paper. According to policy set by
theregents, responsibility for the editorial
content of the newspaper lies solely in
the hands of its student employees.
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief
letters to the editor and guest columns,
but does not guarantee their publication.
The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to
edit or reject any material submitted.
Submitted material becomes property of
the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be
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Submit material to: Daily Nebraskan, 20
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Where Would Jesus Park?
Jesus wouldn’t worry about park
ing. Jesus would ride a bike.
Bicycles don’t produce poison
gases, they don’t require expensive
gasoline and maintenance and riding
a bicycle is good exercise.
Many campuses don’t even have
parking, so you flabby car-driving
sinner wimps should stop whining
and start pedaling.
Thanks, J.J. You spoke volumes in
your column (Wednesday).
I’m grateful to you for expressing
what single moms have always want
ed from absent fathers. '
Your mom has done a wonderful
I am a football fan, too, and I can
understand Regent Miller’s feelings
(Letters, Wednesday) that the football
teafn should get more money than
Football brings a lot of money
into this university. Hbwever, he
needs to understand the views of the
other athletes, too.
They should not be pushed aside’
just because they do not generate mil
lions of dollars in revenue for the uni
versity or because Mr. Miller does not
enjoy watching them like he does
Other sports are important, too.
I, like many others, look to the
Daily Nebraskan for the latest in
*reek affairs, witty editorialism,
:redit-card tutorials and fast-food job
“Obermeyer’s View” is an unfor
tunate setback to the paper’s journal
Without a united and clear focus,
the DN will lose the respect of stu
dents. How could we deal with such
The DN is, and needs to be, a bea
con of light in this sea of despair
known as the “corn-belt capital.”
Obermeyer is blocking that light
with his big fat head.
The Turing Test, proposed in
1950 by Alan M. Turing, is general
ly understood as the following:
An interrogator communicates
with a person and a computer via a
terminal. His or her task is to find
out which is the machine and
which is the human merely by ask
ing them questions.
If the machine can “fool” the
interrogator, it is intelligent.
When will a computer be able
to fool you into thinking it’s
We performed a less-than-sci
entific survey of selected persons
asking them this question.
Here are the answers:
Lew, a computer engineer, said,
“I’ll build you one by 2005.”
“The year 2010!” shouted
Patrick, a New York conference
Kat, a local bookstore manager,
said only, “Soon.”
Don, too busy bartending to be
bothered, said “Thursday.
“And I’m not telling you which
And, finally, Mot-Lee, on his
way out of town, guessed, “I sup
pose it’s already happened, some
Currently, there are few pro
grams we know of that even come
close. They spit out grammatical
bits of nonsense like, “You do not
turn into tacos, and you WERE
NEVER THE SAME!” (from
MegaHAL, an online conversa
tional program), but this may
result, in part, from the way these
programs “learn” language and
who they learn it from.
“What is your sxual prefer
ence?” a questioner asked
MegaHAL on Wednesday.
Correcting it to:
“What is your sexaul prefer
If you’d like to see for yourself
how one of the better talkback pro
grams work, try MegaHAL at
ttest.html, and let us know if you
find out its sexule preference.
PS Write Mack
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