Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 11, 1997)
_Sonia_ HOLL1MON-STOVALL f Public enemy No. 1? Prankster confesses before judgment day: graduation Hie advent of the clear glue stick was one of the most memorable events of my high school career — Elmer’s dried too fast when you poured it onto the toilet seats and the nuns could spot that stuff a mile away. With college gradua tion upon me, I’ve had the opportunity to think about whether or not this was the best time in my life. Since I haven’t had the rest of my life, it’s pretty hard to tell, but I’m going to have to say that in high school or college there’s nothing like a good practical joke to make the past more memo rable. Unfortunately, looking back, some of the antics I pulled weren’t always funny — but they really weren’t my fault. Like that boy whose legs were broken in my first grade — I didn’t know it was that far down from the monkey bars. I hereby publicly apologize, Chris — it’s just that I wanted to be Princess Leia REALLY bad. And to the boyfriends whose lives I ruined — I promise to bum every copy I ever made of your dri vers licenses and social security cards. When you’re fifteen, revenge just seems like a good idea. And David, I’m sorry I called all your friends 66 With college graduation upon me, Fve had the opportunity to think about whether or not this was the best time in my life ” and told them you were having a BYOB at your house and then took your best friend to homecoming. I hope house arrest wasn’t too bad. I now know how wrong I was to switch the management class’copy of “New Age Management Tech niques” with “King Lear.” If I had been thinking, I would have put in that taping of “Days of Our Lives” I made when I should have been taping some satellite show on biology. Speaking of biology —- how was I supposed to know that you can’t dissect cows’ eyes when they’re frozen? Oops. As for TPing the hallways and locking the convent doors — that was Julie Cvetas’ idea — I can’t believe they nailed me for that one. By the way, I was a good student assistant, Mitzie — and there wasn’t anything about “no frosting fights” in my housing contract. Besides, the women on my floor saw that as a kind of annual event. I wouldn’t say that I was a mean prankster — OK, maybe putting glue on the toilets in the convent was a little out of line, but a nun chased me with a stapler one time because I wouldn’t hem my skirt. That was at least one session at Counsel and Psychological Services. I’m not advocating practical jokes, or even revenge — especially revenge, because unfortunately, what goes around, comes around. I once got stuck in a pear tree in my uniform skirt with my underwear hanging sideways in front of God and country while the dog who lived in that yard kept licking me. My godsisters who were with me couldn’t stop laughing long enough to help me out. Yeah, I know, that’s what I get. Last, but not least, I would like to apologize to the workers at Burger King on O street, Christmas 1992. I’m sure I scared away a lot of customers singing “Feliz Navidad” at the top of my lungs in that tree near your parking lot. Oh, and to my boyfriend at the time, Dan. Sorry, sweetie — it was just finals pressure, honest. So whatever you do to let off steam, take my advice — keep it clean (foaming bath bubbles from Dow work well) and make sure nobody gets hurt. It’s all fun and games until somebody pokes an eye out. Hollimon-Stovall is a senior broadcasting major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. ~ t in n imri n n n mw nan Jmmm Aaron 9teckelberg/DN Michael DONLEY It’s spendin’ time Surplus should benefit citizens, not individuals $ We all like buying things, right? Wouldn’t it be great if we had, say, $200 million lying around that had to be spent? Nebraska has an opportunity that other states only dream about. Our wondrous Comhusker state has money we have to spend. Gov. Ben Nelson said last week, “I believe strongly that we must not use that surplus for new spending, but return it to the taxpayers.” Anyone who has had the distinct pleasure of debating politics with yours truly — I seriously doubt a non-masochist has taken pleasure in this — knows that I am a BIG Ben Nelson fan. I like the guy’s background. And I really like his demeanor — unlike Mayor Mike Johanns he wasn’t heard chi the radio applying to be “the newest Donut Hole.” But unfortunately on the issue of the surplus money I have to dis agree. The tax cut that is proposed consists of $ 160 a year to home owners and 5.5 percent on income taxes. It has been said that this tax cut will go even further to stimulate Nebraska’s already strong economy. This is a noble endeavor, but I do not think it will have a monumental impact. it Tax cuts are intelligent politically — of course — but is that the most practical use for those millions? I think not.” What areliome owners going to do with their newly acquired $160 per year? Nothing. Anyone who owns a house knows that getting a $160 tax credit on property taxes is like getting an extra nickel change with your McDonald’s extra-value meal. Home owners are not going to run out and buy things they other wise would not have — which is the heart of a consumer-orientated stimulus package. The 5.5 percent income-tax cut will be equally ineffective as a stimulant. Think of your state refund check — if you get one. Major purchases do not come to mind. Gov. Nelson said that Nebraskans were enthusiastic about the cuts. People love to hear that the govern ment will be taking less from their meager paychecks. Tax cuts are intelligent politically - — of course — but is that the most practical use for those millions? I think not. Our state could use this opportu nity to do some great things for this state. Where should we use the money? I have three suggestions for ( ? the most productive ways to spend the money. 1. We could purchase more than 1.000 complete computer systems — from Nebraskan businesses, of course. Then we could donate the computers to school districts. 2. Give the money equally to each county with the provision that the money has to go to education, teachers’ salaries, crime prevention, etc. ... 3. Use the money within the state university system. Spending $200 million on our universities would show the rest of the country that Nebraskans take education seriously. This could come in the form of 2.000 new $1,000 scholarships to Nebraska residents. These are a very few limited examples. And I am admittedly biased toward education. The money could also go to any of a number of projects for the public good. The penal system and tourism promotion are obviously good suggestions that readily come to mind. The issue should be—where will the money do the most good for Nebraska? It would have been political suicide for any politician to come out and say “I could save the tax payers money, but there are more important things.” But sometimes there are more important things. Many in politics have said that this will probably never happen again. That makes it all the more important to do the right thing this time. The Legislature needs to take the money and improve Nebraska. As my brother said when we discussed this issue, “They can keep my $160, just do something!” Donley is a sophomore philoso phy major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. & ,fffc Aaron Steckelberc^DN