Michad
DONLEY
Buck stops here
Students shouldn't complain about responsibility
Those of us who took the time out
of our midterm, research paper and
study-laden schedules to thumb
through the latest issue of U.
Magazine probably saw the article
from Old Dominion University.
A bar-code scanner was installed
out in front of one of its larger
auditorium classes. Students now
have to slide their student ID into
the scanner when they enter and
leave. This was implemented to
decrease the absenteeism rate in the
general introductory courses.
We’ve all had those classes with
so many students that it would take
half of the lecture just to take roll.
In this situation the professor
usually doesn’t take roll at all. Roll
is an incentive to come to class.
Professors use it to give those of us
who would rather be sleeping a
reason to drag ourselves out of bed,
brave the cold and make it to class.
The reality is that when we miss
class we also miss out on the
opportunity to have a person with a
far greater grasp of the subject
matter explain it to us. No matter
66
The reality is that when we miss class we
also miss out on the opportunity to have
a person with a far greater grasp of the
subject matter explain it to us.”
what we think of our professor’s
teaching ability, we learn more
through lecture than we do trying to
catch up reading a textbook.
The whole issue here is responsi
bility. It would be nice if we could
get a quality education and do all
the partying that our bodies can
stand. But, much to the distress of
the Coor’s Brewing Co., this just
isn’t possible.
If any of us decide to spend
Thursday night — and possibly a
portion of the following morning —
at one of the many local beverage
serving establishments and miss our
Friday morning class, who is to
blame if we lose some points for
attendance?
We shouldn’t blame the professor
for taking roll. The problem, of
course, is our priorities. We all need
to grow up and realize that we — for
the most part — shape our own
futures. At the risk of sounding like
Bob Dole — the largest problem
with people our age is that we have
no sense of responsibility.
Our greatest contribution to
society so far has been huge num
bers of single mothers and neglected
children. We run around hoping
someone else will cure our prob
lems.
Our most noticeable quality is
how self-centered we are. We
assume nothing matters unless it
affects us.
In the article about the bar-code
scanner they quoted a student saying
how much of a “pain in the ass” it
was to have to carry his ID to class. 1
agree that Old Dominion University
should have a small amount of
leeway for sheer forgetfulness, but
be realistic.
If we can’t be expected to go to
class and (king of horrid tortures)
actually bring our IDs, what do we
expect to leam? Do we really expect
to skate through life with no more
responsibility than a bum on a
boardwalk?
Don’t think that I’m trying to say
that I’m perfect. I have a few even
more dangerous habits myself.
Motorcycling, jumping off tall rocks
and out of airplanes..
But these aren’t the kind of
activities that will keep me from
class. And last summer when I went
sliding down Highway 34 just
outside of Lincoln without the
benefit of a vehicle under me I
learned a valuable lesson.
No, not “falling down hurts” or
“hospital stays are expensive.”
Rather, the same lesson that the
average person might learn from a D
in biochemistry. All of pur decisions
have consequences — and we have
to deal with them.
Donley is a sophomore philoso
phy major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist.
Aaron 9reCKELBKRG/DN
Kasey
KERBER
Buyer beware
Airline catalog offers frivolous wares
You might not know it, but along
with the skyrocket price of any
airline ticket comes a little bit of
entertainment for no additional cost.
Its name varies from airline to
airline, but it*s always the same — a
catalog with weird gifts at high
prices for people even lazier than a
unambitious three-toed sloth.
For TWA, the name of this fine
catalog was Sky Mall—Holiday
1996. What it should have been
called was Should I Pay with My
Visa Gold or a Roll of Bills with that
Franklin Guy on Them?
Nearly all products in the catalog
are insanely priced. . -
Take for example the $7,999
TYeviglio Cappuccino Manufactory.
Yes, you heard me right — an
$8,000 coffee maker.
Now it does come with brass
trimming, chrome-plated steel and
copper well, but for 80 bills with
“that Franklin guy on them,” it
better do more than make some
cappuccino.
That thing better have four
wheels, fuzzy dice and an engine
powerful enough to scare neighbors.
But then again, riding a chrome
plated cappuccino machine to class
would be a bit awkward* ^ v .
So would driving to class with an
inflatable stranger sitting next to
me.
Yet who would not want to call
and order Safe-T-Man? After all, he
does “give others the impression that
you have the protection of a male
guardian.” All you need is $99.95
and a lack of self-confidence:
Then blow him up using the
optional Easy-Dual Action Inflator
Pump and as Sky Mall brilliantly
suggests “dress him up according to
your own personal style and prefer
ence.”
And to make sure you dress up
Safe-T-Man in moth-free apparel, be
sure to order a Clothes Modi Alert
for $9.95. This box puts a 99-cent
bag of mothballs to shame by
actually catching the moth, and as
SkyMall humanely puts it: “They
get stuck on the sticky interior walls
and die of starvation.”
Yet what are moth-free clothes
without the perfect smile? And
what’s a perfect smile without a
clean tongue and cheap face lift?
And finally, what’s a cheap face lift
without a $29 tongue scraper and
$69 Facial Flex?
Yes, for about 30 bucks you can
get a stainless-steel tongue scraper
that could freshen breath and will
scare your friends.
And for just 40 bucks more, you
can invest in a tiny spring-like piece
of plastic you put in your mouth and j
do exercises with to achieve a
tighter, smoother face, neck and
chin. Remember—“press and
release 40 to 60 times a minute, for
two minutes, twice daily.” .
And if your face-lift workout puts
you in a bit of pain, nothing will put
you back in a good mood like “the
world’s only singing umbrella.” Yes,
your $39.95 will sing “Singing in
the Rain” to you over and over again
until someone with taste knocks
your ass out and smashes the
umbrella on the sidewalk.
But don’t cry about your shat
tered loss—get revenge with your
$19.95 Ball-Shooting “Burp” Gun.
It’ll fire 15 pingpong balls at your
attacker, each time making a perfect
belch sound. Every frat boy should
own (me.
But you could also get back the
destroyer of your beloved singing
umbrella with (<the credit card that
can clean a fish—or open a letter.”
Just fork over $25 and you can use
the 2-inch blade stored within this
credit card to officially be granted a
criminal record.
And to pass the time in jail, you
can stare for hours at your picture of
Richard Nixon shaking the hand of
Elvis. It’s only $29.95, a small price
to pay for a fellow “erode” and “The
King.”
But even “The King” would have
appreciated a Correct-Posture Dog
Feeder. Just think, if this fine $44.95
invention was around when he was
singing the hits, he might not have
been forced to sing “You Ain’t
Nothing But a Hound Dog” (a hit
about his hunchbacked hound).
And speaking of dogs—every
one knows they love fire hydrants
and trees. So get your dog a plastic
Christmas tree! But not any old
plastic Christmas tree — one
already strung with lights! Yes, for
all .the people out there who are so
lazy that they sign their name with a
rubber stamp, comes the $620
Christmas tree.
But why stop there? The lazy
people of die world could also own a
$15.95 PowcrGlove, which is
nothing more than an ordinary golf
glove with a loop attached on the
palm to hold your golf club. Yes, if
you forget that you have to actually
hold your club while you hit the
ball, die PowerGlove makes sure you
don't make a fool of yourself.in front
of your friends (who’ll probably be
laughing at your glove anyway).
And last but not least, you’ll need
a briefcase to carry all the receipts of
these dumb products in. I suggest a
10-cent envelope, but SkyMall
might suggest its “miniature
briefcase” instead. Although keep in
mind that it wasn’t designed for
receipts—but business cards
instead.
So now you're done shopping and
don’t you just feel broke?
If so, I suggest you go out and
buy something with whatever
change you have left (those round
things with the Lincoln, Jefferson,
Roosevelt and Washington guys on
them) and buy something you might
need a little more...
... a life.
Kerber Is a sophomore news
editorial major aad a Daily
Nebraskan columnist * *
Guest
VIEW
HIV cause
of concern
for women
NEWHAVEN, Conn. (U
WIRE) — When I look at my
mother, I see a strong Chicana
woman. She is a wife, mother,
grandmother, sister, daughter
and friend. She is also a
professional woman, part of
the first generation of minority
women to see school through
college and beyond.
But in the midst of this
progress, a new struggle has
takeivform. It is a struggle that
has touched all realms of
society, but current trends tell
us that it has struck women —
in particular African-Ameri
can and Latina women —
hardest.
In the United States, HIV is
spreading almost six times
more quickly among women
than among men. And of the
cases of women with AIDS
reported in 1995, 76.5 percent *
were either African-American
or Latina. These numbers
reflect both a biological and
cultural vulnerability faced by
minority women.
Biologically, greater
amounts of semen have
contact with the genital tract
of a woman than vaginal
secretion to a man's genital
tract, making women more
susceptible to infection from
heterosexual contact than
men. Culturally, the husbands
of these women may have been
unfaithful, IV drug users or
engaged in homosexual
activities. Often times, cultural
stigmas may prevent women
from demanding that their
partners use condoms. These
women trust in the fidelity and
honesty of their partners.
Unaware of their sickness,
about one-fourth pass on the
HIV virus to their unborn
children.
Women have an even larger
responsibility in this world
wide epidemic. Not only are
they being infected, they are
the care givers to their infected
children, husbands and
brothers.
Recently, my mother shared
a story about a Latino family
that is not unlike others. The
family of ten had a sibling
infected with full-blown
AIDS. Unable to rely on
health care providers for
support, the women of the
family began to care for their
son/brother/uncle. Some of the
women even uprooted fami
lies, traveling hundreds of
miles, to be closer to their sick
loved one. Women almost
always act as the adhesive
force in families tom by the
repercussions that HIV/AIDS
brings.
There are many faces of
AIDS. The deadly epidemic no
longer remains the “gay
plague” that people spoke of in
the early ’80s. With each
passing day, the percentage of
women belonging to the HIV/
AIDS population grows.
Almost 9 million women
have been infected with HIV,
with more than 14 million
women expected to be infected:
by the year 2000. The strides
that many of our mothers
made were remarkable, but the
new struggle can not remain
forgotten.
. • • ■ The IfcUDaib Newt
