Friday, February 2, 1996 Page 4
J. Christopher Haiti
Doug Kouma.
Doug Peters.
Sarah Scalet.
Matt Waite.
Michelle Garner...
Jennifer Mapes_
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
.Editor, 472-1766
.Managing Editor
.. Opinion Page Editor
Associate News Editor
Associate News Editor
.Wire Editor
.Columnist
Ql OTES OF THE \\ EEk
“I never wanted to come to Nebraska more than when
I was sitting in London. I wanted to find out about the
Fiesta Bowl. Those extra days were torture.” ^
—Jonathan Kerr, UNL student from Scotland, on a visa delay
caused by the government shutdown.
“I’ve been fighting with Gov. Nelson, but I’ve been
fighting for you.”
— Attorney’ General Don Stenberg, in a press conference after his
official candidacy filing for the U.S. Senate.
“One guy was just sitting in his couch. He never had a
chance.”
— Tennessee firefighter James Dean, on one victim of the crash of a
Navy F-14fighter into a house.
“I still know how to play this game.”
— Newly-unretired Los Angeles Laker Magic Johnson, on his return
to the NBA.
“There is no killer on death row for whom the death
penalty is more appropriate.”
— Attorney General Don Stenberg, on a U.S. Circuit Court ruling
reinstating convicted murderer John Joubert’s death penalty.
“We expect the vendors to be honest with us.”
— Bill Bode, director of UNL’spurchasing department, on the
university’s policy of issuing signed, blank checks for purchases of
less than $500.
“Doesn’t take a rocket scientist or even a psychiatrist
to say the guy was crazy.”
— Law professor Eddie Ohlbaum on John E. duPont, who is accused
of murdering Olympic wrestling champion Dave Schultz.
“I soldered it together with a Bic lighter. Toward the
end, I had to use my Zippo ‘cause I needed more heat.”
—Jared Alberico, on how he built his Theremin, an unusual electric
musical instrument.
“Unscrupulous agents will harm the reputation of the
athletic program and the state.”
— Former Nebraska running back and current sports agent George
Achola, testifying before the Legislature.
“When the temperature drops as low as it’s supposed
to this week, it doesn’t take much exposure for flesh to
freeze. A person can get frostbite in a matter of minutes.”
— Laurie Sutter, Lancaster County Health Department health
educator.
“The doctor said if it comes out of place again, we’ll
just put it back... I’m getting used to the pain now.”
— Nebraska wrestler Tony DeAnda on wrestling despite his broken
nose.
“It’s politically correct, and anyone can do it. We’re
talking about power to the people.”
—Josh Pfenning, on the up-and-coming sport of radio-controlled
racing.
“We’re in a constant state of readiness. The gross
violations the EPA had found we have cleaned up. We’ve
taken a big step in the right direction.”
—James Main, assistant vice chancellor of business and finance at
the University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Editorial policy
Staff editorials represent the official
policy of the Spring 1996 Daily Ne
braskan. Policy is set by the Daily
Nebraskan Editorial Board. Editorials
do not necessarily reflect the views of
the university, its employees, the stu
dents or the NU Board of Regents.
Editorial columns represent the opin
ion of the author. The regents publish
the Daily Nebraskan. They establish
the UNL Publications Board to super
vise the daily production of the paper.
According to policy set by the regents,
responsibility for die editorial content
of the newspaper lies solely in the
hands of its students.
Letter policy
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the
editor finn all readers and interested others. Letters
will be selected for publication on the basis of clarity,
originality, timeliness and space available. The Daily
Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject all material
submitted. Readers also are welcome to submit mate
rial as guest opinions. The editor decides whether
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f-'l
miTWRgS CERTAIN^
none in the iNvb mu.
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I Kill US TO I NK EDITOR
Keep it up
I am writing in response to the
articles written by Steve Willey. I
seriously cannot remember a time
that I laughed out loud at any article
in the DN before. The only provok
ing response I can ever remember is
the negative feelings I used to have
after reading a Jamie Karl article.
But Willey obviously has a style of
writing all to his own.
Fortunately, I was able to see the
response by many different people
yesterday while they were reading
the article, and I saw students,
parents, professionals, state senators
and lobbyists all react in the same
positive manner. There was defi
nitely a buzz of conversation created
by his article. After reading his first
article, I looked for his next one
every day I came to the University. I
would also like to say, keep up the
good work Steve, and keep those
grades up. It would be a shame if the
paper lost its most original writer.
Eric Leyden
senior
history
Tube socks?!
Obviously, Steve, there are many
more “kinds” of people in the world,
one of which are those that don’t
masturbate at all. For many, the act
is indeed shameful, abhorrent to
God, demeaning to your spouse,
fiancee or girlfriend, and downright
sinful. It’s either a sin or it isn’t,
either right or wrong, to thought
lessly go around depositing your
seeds wherever. To print an article
like yours in the first place is
likewise sinful. Do you think Jesus
was offended or indifferent? What
about your readers who may be
struggling with the temptation,
trying to maintain a clear con
science? Have you led them astray?
We glimpsed a trace of your
conscience when you briefly
considered your mother’s reaction.
Each act dulls your conscience until
you finally regard masturbation as
r
“safe sex”! Get a clue!
This lifestyle has opened the
door to prolonged sexual dysfunc
tion when you reach adulthood.
Unfortunately, you may marry
someday. Qn your wedding night
and long after, I predict you’ll suffer
from premature ejaculation. How
many men have complained that
they can’t make it through a lingerie
department without dropping into
the restroom for a solo “quickie”?
Other men regretfully declare that it
paved the way into pornography. Or
how many wives have expressed
frustration because their husbands
are avowed members of the “min
utemen.” No wonder they feel used,
when guys like you only need to
“get your rocks off,” and couldn’t
care less about satisfying your
spouse.
Lastly, Steve, we’re called to
control our animal instincts, not be
slaves to sins of the flesh. An
alcoholic is a slave to the bottle;
you’re a slave to instant gratifica
tion, a masturbation-holic.
Do yourself (and future spouse
who deserves better) a favor by
conquering this serious offense to
God. A clear conscience is much
more admirable and fulfilling than
filling full your tube socks!
^Richard O’Hearn
project manager
facilities management
Give him a hand
I applaud Steve Willey for his
well-written and hilarious article
about masturbation. I haven’t
laughed that hard since I saw Chris
j Farley play motivational speaker
Matt Foley on Saturday Night Live.
(Don’t you remember that fat guy
who lived in a van down by the
river?) Unfortunately, I have to
pledge my allegiance to the group
who doesn’t admit to “walking the
pony.” Given the ultra-conservative
views of this university and its
leaders, I’m surprised that this
“subversive” article was even
allowed to go to print. It’s too bad
that Steve is an ag-joumalism major.
I bet he will have a tough time
getting his sexual-rebellion articles
past the editors at the Angus Weekly
Report. /
Jon Schauble
graduate student
environmental engineering
Farewell
Last week the psychology
department at UNL lost a valued
friend, colleague and teacher in
Brian Sarata. Brian committed
himself to his students andto the
pursuit of cultural diversity. For
those of us who knew and loved
him, his light forever will remain a
constant in the halls of Burnett Hall.
Good night, sweet prince.
Claudia Price-Decker
administrative tech
psychology
fcena your DrieT leners to: uaiiy NeorasKan, 34 Ne
braska Union, 1400 “R” Street, Lincoln, NE 68588,
or Fax to (402) 472-1761, or e-mail
<letters@unlinfo.unl.edu>. Letters must be signed
and include a phone number for verification. "
