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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 21, 1991)
Stock Continued from Page 6 their clothes at the door. Further more, there is a door to the bath room that closes and latches, al though it does not lock. It is pos sible to hold it closed with your feet if you take your time to sit down. You know, with all of this prepa ration for moving, I’ve completely lost interest in catching a glimpse of my mother. I still wonder if they ever knew why Grover was always my favor ite, though. Stock is a senior English major, a Dally Nebraskan arts and entertainment staff reporter and a columnist. 1992 BSN STUDENTS. ter the Air Force ately after gradua tion — without waiting for the results of your State Boards. You can earn great benefits as an Air Force nurse officer. And if selected during your senior year, you may qualify for a five-month internship at a major Air Force medical facili ty. To apply, you’ll need an overall 2.50 GPA. Serve your country while you serve your career. USAF HEALTH PROFESSIONS / TOLL FREE 1-800-423-USAF _AMI k , -KOHU' Economics lOl. 5500 $5,000 ek 9 - nom iks, n. pi. 1) The science that deals with the production, distribution, and Consumption of wealth - especially important when the wealth being consumed is yours. Consider these facts: a) Borsheim's has the nation's largest collection of diamonds and diamond engagement rings under one roof. b) That roof is not too far from here. c) Whether you spend $500, or $5,000, you'll get more at Borsheim's than anywhere else. If you're only planning to marry her once: her ring should be the best it can be. It should come from Borsheim's. <0> BORSHEIM'S® Fine Jewelry & Gifts Since 1870. 120 Regency Parkway/Omaha (402)391-0400 800-642-GIFT Hours: Mon. St Thurs. 10-8 Tues., Wed. St Fn. 10-6 Sal. 10-5:30 Longsine Continued from Page 6 valuable than female nudity. Here in Lincoln, land of the liberal free Yuppie, nudity even has its enemies. A few years ago, there was a campaign to wipe pornography from the city. It was pretty successful, too. Store owners, intimidated by claims of thousands of supporters, pulled Playboy and Penthouse from their shelves. I buy my gasoline at Gas ‘N Shop, simply because they had the guts to stand up to this fanatical fringe and still carry soft core magazines. Sometime in the last decade or so, someone placed cement clothes on some cement nudes on the south side of a building that faces our state Capitol’s north steps. I suppose someone was worried about the hundreds of school chil dren who tour the Capitol every year and get off the bus across the street. Or perhaps somebody noticed that all the slate senators on the north side of the Capitol had bin oculars while those on the south side did not. The city has even been made safe from the evil of animal statue nudity. If you get the chance, go to Pioneers Park, and check out the bronze buffalo that stands, emas culated, at the entrance to the park. This once proud buffalo was a commissioned work of art. As a lifelike depiction of a buffalo in bronze, it was endowed by its crea tor with certain alienable features, one of which has been alienated. Yes, the anatomically correct buffalo had its buffalo-sized penis removed in a humiliating ceremony. T he buffalo was cordoned off, and as anti-nudists — led by a local Michael Weixel/DN pol ilico—looked on, a blow-torch was used to remove its male organ. This once proud buf falo was a commissioned work of art As a lifelike depiction of a buffalo in bronzet it was endowed by its creator with cer tain alienable features, one of which has been alienated. The anti-nudists had heard a rumor about initiation rites involv ing demonstrations of oral tech nique on the bronze buffalo. They decided that none of this city’s fine youth would be humiliated in this manner and took preventative measures. I know this seoms bizarre, but it really happened. The buffalo still has scars to prove that it has been violated in a most puritanical way. The real mystery is the current whereabouts of the buffalo penis. Rumor has it that the university obtained it in a black-market deal ing of some sort and is prepared to trade it with the Apollo 009 capsule for space artifacts. I myself have no desire to be nude in front of other people, lov ers excepted of course. Some people, though, don’t seem to be troubled by it. Take my friend's neighbor, for example. She told me one day that she called the police on her neigh bor. He kept parading around in front of a large picture window with the lights on and his clothes off. “There arc kids in the neighbor hood," she explained. “He is nice lo look at, though." I-ongsinc is a senior international affairs and economics major and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.