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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 13, 1989)
Sports fans will get exciting treats in ’90s At the end of every era, someone wants to make predictions about the next. USA Today, for example, is run ning the nifty ideas of major sports figures about w hat will happen in the Rather than approach it realisti cally, being honest, and admitting sports probably only will be more plagued with troubles while trying to appear honest and safe, let’s ap proach it by looking through a rose colored - if not blood red -- crystal ball. Drugs will be legalized to make sports more fun and allow Dexter Manley to become head ol the Na tional Football League’s player’s union. If an offensive lineman could drive-block a Volkswagen 75 yards through the end zone and into the stands, it would make Monday Night Football a joy to behold. If we want things corrupt, how ‘bout legalizing bounties - maybe even publicizing them? If Buddy Ryan, the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, wants a kicker from the Dal las Cowboys dead -- how much is it worth? Can we make bets on it, too? If we did, would Pete Rose be put in charge ... ? To take things a step further, will the average fan collect a bounty if, say a fan from the infamous ‘dog pound’ in Cleveland dropped a car battery on a fullback’s head? That would have to be clarified. The instant replay rule will be incorporated into all sports - includ ing table tennis. Don’t ask why. Baseball will be improved dra matically with the addition of the aluminum hat because of its ability to liven up games with as many home runs as basketball has shim dunks. Besides that, aluminum makes a louder, more resounding noise when thumped on the opposition’s pitcher in a bench-clearing brawl. All obnoxious, vomiting fans at Nebraska games will be given an all expense-paid trip to merry old Eng land to die at a soccer game. The football season would be come like baseball with games nearly every day. This would eliminate all the time boosters have for paying players in college, force teams to play real games instead of cream pulfsand eliminate the talk of play-oils versus bowl games because no team will go undefeated. Also, Nebraska finally will win the national title it deserves because of depth - with 500-somc players, or however many it has - the Com huskers certainly will handle a 162 game schedule. Fans will revolt causing the lol lowing changes in major athletics: Merit pay. Players like Jon Kon cak of the National Basketball Asso ciation’s Atlanta Hawks will have to score to get paid -- as opposed to what’s going on right now. Koncak is being paid 2.5 million per year tor 4.9 points a game. That’s ridiculous. That’s less than five points more than what I average for the Hawks and I don’t play. Teams also will not be allowed to dedicate their season to dead players as most sports in the ’90s will begin to sec death on a regular basis. Sadly, this will cause Colorado to sink to the bottom of the Big Eight in football. The lights at Wriglcy Field will be tom down by mobs of ecstatic, drunk Cubbic fans after Chicago wins the World Series ... someday. Other changes: Roller derby and bowling will have to share TV time, thereby creating a new, violent full contact sport with helmets, 15 pound halls and skates. Quicksand traps will make profes sional golf worth die money at stake, cross country running could do with the addition of land mines and rhyth mic gymnastics will be eliminated all together. . .. .. Athletes in the Olympic biathlon will chase each other on crosscountry skis with rifles - creating a brand new spectator sport on snow. Boxing will make a “Sugar Ray No-Dancing” rule to keep things more like Ihe all-out street brawl everyone wants to see, and Mike Tyson will be forced to fight more than one person per outing to keep the heavyweight title. And hockey? Hockey’s fine. The only way you could think to improve hockey is, well... you could do away with the puck ... (■olden is a freshman news-editorial major and is a Daily Nebraskan sports reporter and columnist. 1 Alligator Recording Artist Lonnie Brooks "...one of the most exciting talents in blues." -The Washington post Wed., Dec. 13th, 9-1 Opening act: The Tablerockers The Zoo Bar, 136 No. 14th WANTED USED BOOKS CASH REWARD OFFERED! Bring to Nebraska Bookstore, 13th & "Q". Holiday Hours Dec. 11th thru 22nd! More than ever, more than a Bookstore. Most major credit cards accepted. BOLD from Page 7 Hayes and Scales are all talented players. As van Poelgeest said, Nebraska’s main problem is its attitude. The Huskers are fighting among them selves, and things aren’t getting any better. An example of Nebraska’s bicker ing occurred immediately after Farmer’s rampage, when van Poelgeest contradicted the forward’s statements by supporting the DN. “You know those articles that came out in the Daily Nebraskan ... when was it, three days ago?’’ van Poclgeest said. “There was a lot of truth to them.” That statement represents the hard reality about this year’s team. Ne braska is young, and it hasn’t even begun to come together yet. That lack of parity already is hurt ing, and things arc going to get worse if something isn’tdonc. At the risk of sounding like I’m confusing Ne braska with the Knicks (God forbid, the only pro team the Huskcrs re semble is the New Jersey Nets, who just happen to be the National Bas ketball Association’s worst) some thing needs to be done. Van Poclgeest said Nebraska is going to meet with its team psycholo gist before its game Thursday against Creighton, and that’s a good start. A psychologist can listen to all the bick ering, and can analyze why it started. What the doc likely will find is a team that considers itself its own worst enemy. Nebraska lacks leader ship, gooa coacnmg anu, must ui an, continuuy. So what needs to be done to cor rect this situation? It would be easy to say start the “Nee Must Flee” cam paign or encourage fans to quit at tending games. Unfortunately, Nee just was awarded with a roll-over contract which means Nebraska fans must suffer with him for at least another couple years, and encouraging fans to stay away from the Bob Dcvancy Sports Center only would push the already-dismal crowds to pitifulncss. What needvs to be done is Nebraska needs to have its roles more clearly defined. Van Poelgccst, King and Scales need to be told that they are the team leaders, and younger players like Owens, Geter and Hayes have to accept their support roles. And most of all, Nebraska has to quit trying to lash back -- even when it comes to being criticized. A pel Is a senior news-editorial major and is the Daily Nebraskan sports editor and col umnist. DIMAS from Page 7 “I think it’d be neat. It’d be like, ‘One of us is going!’ Our goal is to keep the Dimas name alive.” Ted said he would continue to I encourage Trent. He said his brother has the best shot at making the team. “We would push each other the same way, if one of us made it and the other didn’t,” Ted said. Twisters for Christmas Thousands, yes thousands of jewelry selections starting at just $5.00. 14th & O St East Park 477-6061_ 464-8275