Dally Ncbraskan
Pago 15
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-Is t-Vs brczia!dng episode of last week reached '
its dramatic conclusion, Celeste's young followers
ware stamping ker table. Called "Puppies", or
"JxjT Unprofessional Pimple, "these youV.fal voters
rc;m ::e;it a powerful, but hiiherto ignored, political
As the Puppies, more animated with every pitcher
of beer they consumed, became more exuberant, the
gu:t3 cf honor tccar.'.o less so.
Ronald, I think we had better leave soon," Nancy
murmured, touching a perfumed handkerchief to
her forehead. "I fear I may be ill"
"And to her running mate, Antoinette may her
reputation shine as brightly as the diamond bra
celet she wears!"
A second chorus of amens followed. "Stolen goods,"
Meese muttered.
"And in conclusion," Bernina said, "I herewith
present our candidates with a complimentary keg of
beer, to be drunk or sold at their convenience!"
Reagan choked on his steak. Nancy slid under the
table. Meese called for another bowl of soup.
presents
Friday, April 27, 1C34
T
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bLlK ll 1
Mary Louie e
"Now, now, my dear, we can't leave before des
sert," her husband said. "Why don't you run to the
powder room for a little while?" Edwin Meese,
another guest, called for more soup.
"I sur; am glad this stuff is free, because I'm going
to eat a lot of it," he said.
The dessert, a flaming concoction of brandied
cherries, ice cream and meringue, appeared. The
Puppies, diverted from their contemplation of Addi
son's velvet jacket, began to cut large slices of it.
"Forsooth, 'tis a most excellent ending to a fine
meal," guoth a Puppette (female Puppie) named
.Bernina Kenmore Singer.
Bernina, whose parents owned several large sew
ing machine companies, had spent the past 20 years
in college. She led a hand-to-mouth existence as a
cocktail waitress and the beneficiary of government
loans. She was chronically short of money.
With these qualifications, it was only natural that
she should have risen to the top of the Puppie organ
ization. Acting in that capacity, Bernina wobbled to
her feet and raised her glass.
"I propose a toast," she shouted. "To our beloved
Celeste may she defeat the old man now in office,
the Baptist guy, Carter's old crony, and the cute
guy!" .
"Amen," the others replied. Celeste smiled modest
ly. "Did you ever hear such shocking ignorance?"
Nancy whispered to her husband.
"It comes from not praying in school, dear," Rea
gan replied. "I've told them time and time again."
"Welfare cheaters, all of them," said Meese, digging
deep into the dessert bowL . . . i - : .
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THE
LONNIE BROOKS
BAND
"FEROCIOUSLY ENERGETIC. WITTY, SOULFUL . .
sif.iPLY astc::".cm:ng guitar work-
-ROLLING STONE
"THE ft,"C3T EXCITING NEW TALENT IN ELUES"
WASHINGTON POST
9-l:C3, 03 COVER
BANNY AND
'THE MOBEL
CITIZENS
FPJ. c SAT;
APRIL 27 & 28
027 CZth
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