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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 15, 1978)
friday, december 15, 1978 page 14 daily stopaskan opium comments Stopaskan thanks ANUS for a real good time Trollop! the ANUS President called me. Why I've 'alf a mind to tell Mm we'll never again in his stinkin' life cover that 'ol ANUS meeting of theirs. We've been good to 'im. We sent Smelly Shith to cover thoses bloody boring meetin's of theirs. Poor girl, she's got to sit there for hours, listening to Rocky (shut your) Trapp, a ANUS senator, go on and on about wether or not a bill should come out of committee or not. They spent an entire night babblin' on about that and poor Smelly had 40 lines ta fill. Why Ken Bambino even 'ad the nerve to call me unchase. Now I'd expect that from Senator Joseph of Nigro who kept arguin' that cuz the Daily Stopaskan gets student fees they should be able ta pass a bloody resolution sayin' we should be 'en couraged ta cover more campus events. I got up ta talk, not too well, but I got up nevertheless and told 'im their resolution was like urinatin' in a strong north wind. But I must admit that their suggestion ta cover more Campus events wasn't too bad. So we sent a reporter out ta cover some more Hast Campus events. The reporter talked ta a few steers and got a great story, but when 'e got around ta talkin' ta some cow boys 'e couldn't get more than ta words out of 'im. Actually it's a good thin' that ANUS didn't pass their resolution, cuz we would 'ave taken Smelly Shith off the ANUS beat and put 'er on full time coverage of East Campus. mail wail Dear Editor: Support organized religion! Another sheep in the flock is worth 900 in the bush. Jim "Dad" Jones COWPIE CAMPII Dearest Editor: Your coverage of East Campus stinks! Bessie East Campus Animal lab In loco parent i Hey you: We would allow you to have alcohol on campus, but you are too damn immature to control yourselves. Only adults are allowed to pee on bushes, light bonfires, expand the stadium and tell you you have to sleep with those of your own sex. Ha, Ha, Ha HOP Bored of Rodents i rosh high on HOP Dear Editor, It's that time of year to reflect on our blessings and as a Harvard of the Plains (HOP) freshman I have many blessings that I'd like to share with everyone. First of all, I want to thank the admin istration for treating me as an individual. It's great to feel that you're part of the system. I only wisli more people would re fer to me by my social security number. This semester I would have forgotten my name if it wasn't for my mother call ing me by name on the phone. Isn't that neat! Another thing that made me feel like 1 was a part of the system was filling out forms. After filling out 6,666 forms, I know that everyone on the HOP campus knows who I am . In relation to filling out forms, a very touching situation occurred to me on the way to the restroom the other day. As I reached for the knob to open the door, a lady in a white dress jumped out from be hind the door and asked me to fill out a form for the HOP administration before I used the restroom. How thoughtful, the administration wants to make sure that I don't suffer from irregularity . Physical exercise was also provided for HOP students this year. Standing in line at least twice a day is not an easy task. Great concentration is required while breathing and edging along at one inch per hour. Not Not to mention the extensive exercise re ceived while standing in line for food, registration, drop and add, the use of the restroom, to get into the Onion doors, to catch a bus, to talk to an adviser, to use the phone, and to get into a classroom. I think the President's Council on Physical Fitness is missing a lot of good candidates because they don't take time to look at the non-athletic students. Thanks HOP for keeping me physically fit. Drink Kook-Aid . . to be sure. 900 people can't be wrong! SSlThe s &M Shp has a fullf F JmStock of whips and chains t H II II welt-giving pleasure. fif M The S & M Shop 940 Dungeon Ln. IA g 0 0 g 0 g 0 0 P 0 P 0 0 0 Q 0 0 0 0 0 0 o q p ff q q p MHUUj, SJULS okids --the condom made in heaven for all you lil' devils. 100 effective Reuseable Nice to look at Easy to install Unbreakable Lubricated with SAE 40 wt. Only 1995 per 100 That's right! Nokds are 100 effect 100! It's because Notdds are so thick! Nov you don't have to worry about her getftig PG. because you can fee) a thing! But mat's not al Just look at the benefits tsted above! o Cmon be a Nokids guy1 Shel bwe you far t! g-BJULB figgPffggg MJLUSSJLSJLASIJJJJJ g 8 B.t.K Being a freshman, I found that I luckily belonged to the homey atmosphere of the dorm. I and 10,000 other students were made to feel right at home. The cooks pre pared food fit for a king. I never knew any one could make pumpkin pie with a black top. That's not the only delicious dish those galloping gourmets were able to come up with. Their speciality without a doubt was fried chicken which was avail able every Sunday. Truly a change" of pace. A further benefit of living in the dorm for me was being temporarily housed in the dorm lounge for the semester. The study ing I got done was unreal. Can you believe it, I'm actually carrying a 1.5 CPA. Boy, will my parents be proud! I'm also very thankful for the social life I have been able to experience while at HOP. Imagine a gathering of 1,000 students in the middle of 16th Street. That was the best block party I've ever been to. We burned wood, cars, couches, pianos, and unfortunately, one person got a bit charred. It was such a good party that the police took some of the people away to make a party of their own at the police station. That wasn't the only good party I went to during the semester. Babs Richdaddy Greek Graiin Dear GDI Editor: We are sick and tired of the way you handle stories concerning Greeks. It's obvious that you don't like or understand us. We built the bonfire on 16th Street, we help rip down the goal posts and we did say those things in the pledge stories and those "dirty" sex stories you wrote about. But you don't print things like that. You won't have us to kick around any more. Next time editor-in-chief is cho sen, we'll get a "real" editor in and we'll print only good news. The world doesn't want to hear negative news. Think of how great the papers were back in the 50s when the lead story was about panty raids. Love and kisses, J. Wayne Andreesen Wretched Jonestown D " CIS II . i '! Photo by Mork Willingly Editor in Chief Carnal Anguish says farewell to the Daily Stopaskan staffers with tears in her eyes and smiles on their faces. &fje Bail? ikopasfean Editor in chief; Carnal Anguish. Managing editor: Bossie Almonds. News editor: Tamale Pee. Associate news editor: Ellen AKA EK Casacassacasaccio and Flushdajohn Mimic. Night news editor: Whiffed Under. Layout editor: Miz Leered. Entertainment editor: Kissy McCoque. Sports editor: Gym Shorts. Photo graphy chief: Theodopolous Kirkopolous (de ceased). Art director: Jacques Ragsin. Magazine editor: Aimee Simple McBoingboing. Magazine managing editor: Mary Go Down. Copy editors: Jelly Dimming, Dub Enema, Quim Hatchacha, Lyin Position, Shoe Shaker, Dibs Shamalam, Mongrel Snapper and Jorge Write-off. Business manager: Jerki Haslira. Production manager: Kinky LaPricky. Advertising manager: Demise Hardon. Assistant advertising manager: Usta Peters. The Daily Stopaskan is published by the UNL Prepubescence Boys, whenever they feel like it, except on Whitsunday, Guy Fawkes Day and Candice Bergen's birthday. Address: Daily Stopaskan, Basement, Armed Services YMCA, Cheyenne, Wyo., 7868687464. Telephone, one ring, then three, then one again. Ask for Wilma or Spike. Material may be reprinted without permission if attributed to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, except material covered by a layer of pelican droppings. Twelfth class postage paid by Ralph in Butte, Montana with monopoly money. V r I'm an Unreal Woman. Look at me. Good stuff. I'm so good it's unreal! My cigarette is so good it's unreal too. It is Unreal. The Lightweight Contender. Why so light? Because it's plastic The tube ... is hollow. Practically worthless. And so am I! Smoke Unreal . . . the plastic cigarette for unreal people. No tar. no nicotine, just a hoflow pbste tube that mefts in or mouth. m in ii i Unreal r m