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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 14, 1973)
editorio ASUN spring elections 1973 Vote today The Daily Nebraskan has endorsed and recommends that you vote the the following ASUN executive candidates: for president-Bill Freudenburg (UP) for first vice president Karen Richardson (UP) for second vice president Sue Overing (UP) Students may vote at any of the following polling places. Andrews Hall 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. East Union 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Hamilton Hall 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. M & N Building 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Nebraska Hall 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Nebraska Union 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Ballots, mandates and power "The purpose of this organization shall be to act as the supreme student governing body in the regulation and coordination of all phases of student self government and to serve as an agency through which the relationship between administration, faculty and students and between the general public and students may be maintained." The statement above is the constitutional purpose of the UNL student government. Doesn't sound much like ASUN, does it? Since its beginning in 1965, ASUN has been continually handicapped in one way or another. ASUN has been hobbled by the Board of Regents, challenged by an occasional court case, attacked by the state legislature and stifled by terms of ineffectual leadership. ASUN also has never had a student mandate. UNL students historically have been disinterested in ASUN. The highest voter turnout for the annual spring elections was 43 per cent in 1967. Student participation has dipped as low as 20 per cent in some elections. It seems obvious that ASUN might have difficulty making a case for its validity. While the absence of election mandates has not made ASUN less of a yovernment, it has most certainly caused the body to be less powerful than it should be. Today is ASUN election day. It takes only 10 minutes to make an active commitment to the idea that the original purposes of ASUN should be fulfilled. Vote. Shaman Jack Mason usurps androids' rights This year's ASUN campaign has been most far'ial, considering the amount of flatuence exchanged between the Unity and Pi ogress (UP) and Get Off Your Apathy (GOYA) parties. Only Sharnan Jack Mason has elevated himself above this morass of H 2S (Students, as well asandioids, are warned not to light fires of any kind in the presence of GOYA or UP candidates, as the H 2S will ignite and explode immediately.) Shaman Jack Mason, presidential candidate of the Surrealist Light People's Party (SLPP), is the only candidate to derive the paradigm of reality under which we operate. Mason tells us that the University "is a low-budget movie inhabited by three types of beings." Humans, the first type of being, are small in number on the campus. The crux of their existence "depends upon the humans not realizing they are humans and that the others are others," Mason said. Androids, the second type of being, are mechanical creations or homunculi. According to Mason, they "resemble humans. ..but are totally incapable of any more than primitive mechanical thought." They are "programmed to think they are human." Them, the third type of being, are the "perpetrators of the hoax of existence," Mason said. They are the directors in the "low-budget movie" in which we all participate. The shaman said: "We do Mil fr ri n)u a&a isrva a -ass ffitomrzvtr'' " """" ill not know anything more of them than the fact that they are not us and they are nasty." However, although Mason may have derived the true paradigm of reality, he is certainly no ward healer. In other words, he has ignored the political reality of the thousands of us androids, who are programmed to take notes in class, to digest android food at the dorms and to accumulate units. Mason is the last in the great line of elitist humanoids trying to usurp the rights of the vast majority of beings on this earth, namely we androids. 1 1 DOD russe horse sense Mason's cheap shots at androids, calling us "low-budget mechanical creations", are totally unfounded. Besides this political mudslinging, Mason has failed to address himself to the issues that concern all androids. The shaman has said that androids, "as inanimate beings, do not need visitation, therefore, visitation is OUT!" Mason suggested that a sheep be put on each dorm floor to be at the disposal of all androids. He neglects the fact that androids, being designed in a very specific way, are incapable of using sheep for any other purpose than fuel. The main issue that the shaman has failed to address is the issue of the correct, scientific, leaning angle for all toilets on campus. The three main functions in the life of an android are eating, sleeping and elimination. Because androids are designed in specific ways, we must adhere to these programs rigidly. If we deviate from any of our programs, whether the program be taking a multiple-guess exam or eating android food in the dorms, we start to malfunction. At present, toilets on campus are installed at the wrong angle increasing the difficulty of eliminating for androids, if not impossible Humanoids cannot possibly know the daily suffering of androids because the inventor of the modern flush toilet was a humanoid and therefore knew nothing about the scientific leaning angle for toilets. The two android parties, UP and GOYA, have spewn forth only buffalo chips. Mason's SLPP party represents the elitist humanoid clique on our campus. Therefore, I would urge you all to write in my name for ASUN president tomorrow. I would promise to install all toilets on the campus with the correct scientific leaning angle and carry out numerous other android reforms. N 7ME SuRWEAt ST L6HT PEOPLE'S PMCN UDfolW m 1 in. 1 1 r 1 f ' ..m - - " " c- I RMDRQ1D5 VILL WIN IM THE END rT IS oBvilDUS THAT THIS COCMIt. MoDlfi INi 31 TVUT ANDROIDS f0 7HY ARB MVLVPlilNh 3V THE kJiZf&STHl MILUPNS ujncrJ mcT QC 1 OUT OK COU-fcfc ALL. Willi OCf-JUtC It A Jkli f A ' mM l r 4 i 1 11 la. 1 VI THIN K of j f AUT )MTXtSPAfDlS,..N lrrAU)$T 8E ST&ppedJ I MUST" RISE ABOO A LA TH IS ANP SfW WHIMVWS! ...BUT WHAT'S TMEU5E? SQUISH? SOMBMDW UTE rtUST GET WD 6P UV peMOfJS, ArVQ BE THE RoBJNf Hoods df the rLmjt.urK $Auny prom TWc RICH And cwe to the PDOF-f VCrtE NOT NSANEf6uThJXi fttJP tAoy&i ft 0rjL.V g AVgpjrTVgc MERSaF . i-j '. page 4 daily nebraskan Wednesday, march 13, 1973